"What's that..."
"On your mouth?"
"Looks like..."
"Someone bloodied your lips."
Hermione tensed and looked from Fred to George and back again. "I don't know what you're talking about," she finally said, deciding that ignoring them might make them go away.
Unfortunately, that logic only worked with normal people. The Weasley twins continued to defy logic and refused to conform to the neat, orderly plans she had in her mind of how things should go and what should happen.
"Doesn't smell like blood," Fred said, walking over to her and sniffling in an exaggerated manner. "Mmm...smells like ink and apples. Oddly arousing, that."
"Doesn't feel like blood," George said, reaching out to run his finger along her bottom lip in a slow, deliberate manner that left her cheeks flushed and her heart racing in ways it really oughtn't around them.
"Doesn't look like blood all close up like," Fred said, lowering his head to stare at her red lips. He lightly traced her lip with his tongue, which startled her so much that she dropped her quill and jerked back, knocking over the inkwell.
"Now, Hermione, that doesn't give him enough time to consider." George tsked at her before he smiled wickedly and moved closer, trapping her against the desk. He leaned down and licked her lips completely before he murmured, "Doesn't taste like blood, either."
She looked from one to the other and back again until she felt dizzy and confused. The financial reports that she'd been working on for the company were now scattered with the inventory notes, which should distract her and make her push them away, stop their teasing and let her finish the work they were paying her for. Instead, she didn't even care that ink was dripping into a puddle on the floor or that she'd unconsciously snapped her quill in two when Fred licked her lips.
"Why, Miss Granger, are you wearing lipstick?" Fred asked as he touched her lip. "Have to make sure it doesn't feel like blood for myself, in case George was lying."
"I don't lie," George muttered.
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Bugger off."
"Awww...You're so cute when you pout, Georgie Worgie."
"Did you wear this for us, pet?" George asked, ignoring Fred's fluttering eyelashes.
"Bet she did. Intended to seduce her bosses and take advantage of us poor sods," Fred said dramatically. "Wearing these skirts of hers beneath those robes."
"Showing off those gorgeous legs."
"And her firm little bum."
"And those ti---"
"She might hex you if you finish that sentence. Our girl's right handy with a wand, after all."
"Breasts."
"Better. More sensitive and yet still manly."
"What?" Hermione finally had a chance to interrupt and felt pretty stupid when they looked at her and grinned matching mischevious smiles that made her feel like prey about to be captured.
"Well, maybe she's not trying to seduce us," George said with a sigh and wink at Fred.
"Guess it's a good thing, then, that we're seducing her," Fred decided as he leaned down and kissed her. As he deepened the kiss and wet lips moved along her neck, Hermione decided that maybe logic was overrated.
End
Illogical
Story Notes:
3/24/07