Tranquility

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Story Notes:
3/25/09
It’s peaceful here by the sea. Hermione finds the sound of the waves crashing against the shore comforting, and she likes sitting outside watching the swell of the sea. She wishes that the circumstances that brought her here were better, but she’s learned that there’s really no point in wishing because life doesn’t work that way. If it did, then Professor Snape would be receiving a hero’s welcome from the wizarding population, and she would have located her parents and removed the charms easily.

Instead, Professor Snape is still recovering from his near death experience during the final battle, and she had to finally give up her search after weeks of traveling all over Australia. Professor Snape is doing better, but better is an abstract term. Considering that the healers think he might have actually died at some point, simply breathing is ‘better’. It’s been six months, but he’s only just now trying to speak. Since she’s his only company, he rarely even bothers attempting conversation. He likes to write her notes, his angry scrawl pointing out errors in her revision and demanding specific meals, but he doesn’t seem to like talking to her. She doubts he would even if he could speak normally already.

When he’s recovered, she thinks she’ll return to Australia. She can’t simply give up, can she? It’s her fault that her parents are there with no memories of her, and she feels guilty for even thinking about letting go. She returned to England because she ran out of money, despite the rather large sum that Harry had given her, and she isn’t sure how she’ll afford to return, but she’ll figure out something. If she tries one last time and still can’t find them, then she can let go because she’ll have done everything that she can. By the end of the day, she knows that she’ll decide that she’s already tried, but she’s always more optimistic in the mornings.

The fact that she hopes it takes Professor Snape a while to recover is probably another reason she feels guilty. Once he’s better, then she has to live her life again, and that scares her. While she’s here, it’s like she’s escaped from everything. There’s only the sea and her books and tending to Professor Snape. It’s a fair exchange for the money that Harry gave her, not that he sees this favor as repayment. The money was a gift, he’d say, but she doesn’t really see it the same way. He wants Professor Snape to be under the care of someone he trusts, and she owes Harry more than she can say or put into monetary value.

So she lives here in this cottage and spends her free time revising for her NEWTs and planning a dozen possible futures for her life once she leaves this place. There are so many possibilities that it’s overwhelming at times, which is why she analyzes every career choice and tries to use Arithmancy to predict the best matches for her. Nothing seems to suit her perfectly, though, so she keeps thinking and planning. It fills the days, and it gives her something to look forward to. Or possibly it gives her another reason to be scared and to keep herself hidden here for as long as possible.

The sea swells and a wave surges onto the beach. The sound of rustling fabric lets her know that she’s no longer alone, and she welcomes the quiet companionship. Professor Snape sits beside her, and she glances at him out of the corner of her eyes. He scowls at her when he notices her attention, and she smiles before she looks back at the sea. It’s odd that being around him somehow calms her, but she’s learned that life is strange like that. As she sits with him watching the waves, her mind stops moving in so many directions as she concentrates on the sea and the sound of his breathing.

It’s peaceful here, with him.

End