Inell's Fanfiction Archive

As dawn arrives silently, the moon fades into the western sky. Bill can feel the tension in his body lessen until he’s finally relaxed. His bones feel awkward, as if they’re all oddly shaped and don’t fit together correctly, and it takes time before his skin feels as if it belongs to him again. Once he feels like Bill, or as close to Bill as he can ever feel during these particular days every month, he opens his eyes.

Sunlight is beginning to spill around the sides of the heavy dark drapes. It’s a new morning full of possibilities and promise. At one time, he would have woken cheerfully, ready to face the day bravely and see what it held for him. These days, it’s tough to even get out of bed a lot of the time. He’s lucky, he knows, and he tries to remember that when he feels sorry for himself and thinks about everything he’s lost in the last six months.

The attack could have killed him. In the first few hours, when his face felt as if someone had tossed a poisonous potion onto his skin and there had been such intense pain that, even now, he couldn’t describe it, he would have preferred death. He knows that makes him weak and his thoughts of cowardice are rarely far from his mind. Worse than death, though, would have been to be bitten at a time when Greyback could have turned him.

He feels guilty for thinking that being a werewolf is worse than death, but it’s true. In death, you have peace and you’re no longer part of this cruel, prejudiced world that sees lycanthropy as something monstrous and evil. Bill thinks of it as a disease but many others don’t have that sensible point-of-view. Instead, they treat those suffering from it as inferior animals. He gets angry, so very angry, at them and knows it would be worse if he’d suffered the full effects of the disease.

As it is, he is caught in between. Save for the scars on his once-handsome face, he appears to be the same. Inside, though, there is often a raging battle between two opposites that he has taken to calling GoodBill and AngryBill. AngryBill has urges and impulses that GoodBill has always been able to ignore. AngryBill is emotional and bitter, whereas GoodBill is thrilled to be alive and can control his temper.

Fleur met AngryBill far too many times in those first few weeks once he was released from the hospital. When she broke the engagement and went back to France within a month, he knew it was his fault. He tries to ignore AngryBill now and is successful most of the time. Only a few days a month does it become impossible. When the moon becomes full, AngryBill can’t be controlled so easily.

He hates this, but knows the price isn’t much to pay. He’s alive and his life hasn’t changed as much as it could have. He rolls over on the small mattress and stares at the floor. Remus is lying on the rug curled up into a ball. He’s shaking as he sleeps and looks weak and frail. It’s deceptive, though, and Bill knows that Remus is stronger and faster than most men he’s ever met. Remus is too skinny and rarely ever stands straight up so it gives the appearance of someone submissive.

Remus is anything but submissive.

When no one else knew how to deal with AngryBill, Remus quietly offered to help. AngryBill had sneered at the idea, but GoodBill had accepted eagerly. He had never expected to find himself kneeling on a dirty floor with Remus’ cock in his arse as they fought for control in a situation that still didn’t completely make sense to him. That was five months ago, though, and so much has changed.

Tonks says she understands but he feels her gaze on him during meetings and is torn between guilt at hurting a friend and smugness that Remus prefers him. He hates sharing Remus with her, though, and he knows soon that a choice must be made. This odd relationship that the three of them have forged is tenuous, at best, and soon someone will snap. It will get ugly then because he knows, somehow, that he will be chosen and Tonks will not react well at all.

That’s for the future, though, and this is now. If Tonks wants to meet AngryBill, he may just let her. After all, Remus’ punishments are rough, painful, and make him come harder than he ever has before so it’s a win-win situation for him. Bill is nothing if not selfish, something he’s been accused of by Charlie since they were six and four and Bill decided he wanted Charlie’s toy dragon. The bloody thing had burned his finger, which had probably set up Charlie’s future career choice in something Bill would never have any interest in pursuing.

He watches Remus sleep as he slowly takes back possession of his own body. He’s still there during this phase of the full moon, but AngryBill is stronger and his body shifts in such a way that it just feels as if his skin isn’t where it should belong, which takes time to adjust back to normal in the early rays of dawn. Once he feels normal again, he gets out of bed and crawls to Remus.

Remus continues to shake and his leg jerks slightly while he sleeps. Bill frowns and curls up behind him, rubbing his hardening cock lightly against Remus’ back. He doesn’t dare touch his arse, not without permission, and makes sure he’s a safe enough distance to avoid that punishment, which isn’t enjoyable at all.

This is the part that Bill likes most after the full moon. It almost makes all the rest worth it, but he knows that not fair to Remus so he tries not to ever say that aloud. He moves his hands all over Remus’ body, touching him everywhere. The sense of touch is so important to them, even more than smell, and it helps bring Remus back to himself after Moony fades with the rising sun.

Bill drags his fingertips down Remus’ chest, brushing them over his nipples until they harden, and he kisses Remus’ shoulders and neck. He is taller than Remus and it has taken time to learn the right angle so that his entire body can envelope him, but he knows now and twists his legs and shifts until Remus is cradled against his chest and legs. His hips rock gently as he reaches Remus’ belly and moves his hands lower. When his fingers curl around Remus’ cock, Bill whines in the back of his throat and presses closer.

It’s then that Remus starts to wake up. A hiss of breath makes Bill stop moving until Remus thrusts forward against his hand, giving him permission. He starts moving his hand faster as he continues to touch everywhere that he can reach with his free hand. Remus makes a series of low snarls and growls when he’s aroused, and Bill listens for them eagerly as he brushes his thumb across the head of Remus’ cock.

Remus rocks back against him, rubbing against his chest in such a way that he pins Bill’s cock between them. The friction is unbelievable and Bill pants against his shoulder as he places open mouth kisses all over his back and neck. Remus reaches his arm back and squeezes Bill’s arse, touching his hips, legs, and arse with a possessive firmness that makes Bill close his eyes and moan.

It isn’t long before Remus growls softly and comes, spilling all over Bill’s fingers and hand. After he finishes, he pushes Bill’s hand away and rolls over to face him. His gaze is intense as he licks his chapped lips and runs his hand down Bill’s freckled chest. “Come for me,” he demands in a low voice that is still husky from sleep.

Bill reaches down and wraps his wet fingers around his cock. He strokes himself for Remus, biting his lip so hard that he soon tastes blood, and arches his hips up to fuck his hand. He can feel Remus’ fingers in his long hair, tugging it with just enough force to make Bill whine, and then his teeth are scraping against Bill’s shoulder, biting him hard enough to leave a mark for anyone to see. Bill comes then, writhing on the dirty wooden floor as his come spills all over his hand and belly.

When he stops shuddering, he feels Remus curled firmly against his side, caressing his body with hands that are both rough and gentle at the same time. Bill rolls over and snuggles closer, needing that reassuring touch more than anything. In these moments, when there is nothing but him and Remus and touching and tasting, he finds escape from the world outside. Here, in Remus’ arms, he’s JustBill.

End