Inell's Fanfiction Archive

Graduation day is clear and sunny. There’s a breeze coming in from the north, so it’s cooler than it’s been all week. Jim figures that he could probably find birdies singing and people busting into spontaneous dances if he looks hard enough because it’s just one of those picture perfect kind of days. He doesn’t look. Despite the events happening in a few hours, he has no desire to dance around or listen to flying rats tweet out melodious songs. A day like today should be stormy and dark, gray skies and threatening clouds overheard. Then, it would match his mood properly.

“Stop glowering at the sun. It never did anything to you and, without it, we’d all be dead.” Bones arches a brow when Jim turns his glare on him. “It’s graduation day, Jim. You’re getting a goddamn flagship to captain as well as a commendation. You shouldn’t be so miserable.”

“Yeah, well, excuse me for being unable to just compartmentalize like you,” Jim snaps. “Don’t think that I haven’t been trying all morning. I just can’t.”

Bones frowns. “You think I can? It’s not about putting our relationship into a category to ignore. We’re adults, and we’re doing the best we can to deal with this. I just don’t see any reason to let the hurt control me. When I did that before, I nearly drank my life away.”

“I’m not letting it control me,” he denies. “I’ve just never felt like this before, and I don’t know what to do about all these fucking emotions.”

“You’re going to have to accept this, even if it’s painful, because you’re not going to become like me,” Bones says firmly. “Jim Kirk isn’t a moody, surly bastard who glares at the sun. It’s dangerous enough when you’re focused and confident, so I know that I won’t be able to get through this damn year if I’m worried about you being distracted and miserable, too.”

“That’s not fair. You can’t just expect me to be able to take all this in and move on like nothing’s changed when it’s only been a day.” Jim shakes his head. “Everything’s changed, Bones. Not only between us personally, but all the rest, too. I’m going to be a captain, one who is being given the promotion despite protests from who knows how many people who will likely consider me an enemy before I even start work, one who is going to be responsible for the lives of hundreds people, one who is now going into all this without his best friend there to offer support or a kick in the ass when he needs it.”

“You’re going to prove those assholes who didn’t want you promoted wrong, and you’re going to do an amazing job taking care of your crew. It’s going to hurt you when you lose one, but you’re going to remain strong because everyone else will need you to be,” Bones tells him confidently. “And I might not be there in person, but you know that I’ll always be with you, even if it’s just as that nagging voice in your head that you mentioned.”

“I can call you, too, can’t I? They’ll have to have communications technology wherever you’re going, so we can talk and see each other even if I won’t be able to kiss you or touch you.” Jim licks his lips and runs his fingers through his hair before he whispers, “What if you realize that you can do better than a loser kid from Iowa? What if you get there and realize that I’m not good enough for you?”

“That’s not possible,” Bones says softly. “There is no one better, in this or any other world. And stop calling yourself a loser before I have to think of some form of punishment that you wouldn’t get off on.”

Jim walks over to Bones and moves his arms around him. “I know that you think I’ll just find someone else to fuck, and I get it, I really do, because it’s not like I’m into celibacy and shit. But what we have, it’s more than just sex, even if that’s really good, and I’m not such a stupid sex-obsessed kid that I can’t see that,” he tells him quietly. “I might flirt and be friendly in bars, but I’m not going to cross that line, Bones.”

“Jim, you don’t have to--“ Bones trails off and moves his fingers over Jim’s spine. “I know you, kid. If it happens--“

“It won’t. What we have means something to me, means a lot more than a quickie with some random stranger, and, hell, like you said, you know me. I can’t resist a challenge, so this is something I can do.” Jim pulls back and smiles. “You should be warned that you might have to treat me for carpal tunnel whenever we meet up, though, since I have a feeling that my right hand’s gonna get a lot of action during the next year.”

Bones laughs and rests his forehead against Jim’s. “I’m not asking for anything, Jim,” he says quietly. “A year is a long time, and it’s not like we’re married or anything."

Jim is becoming annoyed because it still sounds like Bones doesn’t have any faith in him keeping his dick in his pants. Alright, so he has always been sexual and gone from one girl to another, but he’s never added emotions to anything. That changes things, which is something he’s realized since entering into this relationship thing with Bones. Why can’t Bones trust him? “Are you pushing this because you don’t think you can last that long?”

“What?” Bones pulls back and frowns at him. “I’m not the one who collects one night stands, asshole.”

“Was,” Jim says. “I was the one. I’m not that guy anymore, Bones. I mean, sure, parts of me are, obviously, and I’m still pretty and charming and could have nearly anyone I want, but I don’t want that anymore. Just because we’re not married and haven’t defined whatever this is between us doesn’t make it any less important to me. I’m not going to fuck it up by shagging a different woman in every port, damn it. I do have some self-control.” He frowns. “Why won’t you listen to me, Bones?”

“Damn it, Jim. This is painful enough without all this. I don’t want to define anything because it’ll make it that much harder to let go. I’d promised myself to never get in this position again, to feel so much that I couldn’t even control it, to lose someone that meant so much to me, and here I am again. Only, it’s worse this time because we’ve only had a few weeks and I still want…” Bones closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Me too.” Jim brushes his lips against Bones’ jaw. “I want so much more.” He licks the shell of Bones’ ear. “There’s so many things that I still want to do with you, still want you to do with me.” He nibbles on the lobe and feels Bones’ hand move down to grip his ass. “So many more fantasies to explore. We’ll have new ones, won’t we? Whenever we get together, I’ll never let you out of bed. I’ll send you back wherever you’re stationed exhausted and smelling like sweat, sex, and come.”

“You rarely let me out of bed now,” Bones grumbles, squeezing Jim’s ass. “I’m a doctor, not a sex slave.”

“Oh, kinky,” Jim murmurs before he licks the spot beneath Bones’ ear that always gets a reaction. “Want to call me master?”

Bones growls softly and rocks against Jim. “We need to finish getting ready.”

“We’re men, Bones. All we have to do is comb our hair and get dressed.” Jim nibbles Bones’ neck as he shifts so that he’s pressing against Bones’ thigh. “We’re going to survive this separation, you know? What we have, whatever this is, it’s stronger than a year apart.”

“I don’t want to think about it right now,” Bones murmurs before he pushes Jim against the wall. “I want you, you smug bastard.” He kisses Jim and ruts against him, riding his thigh even as Jim rocks against his. Jim scratches his back, whining deep in his throat when Bones bites his shoulder hard, sucking on the skin until he knows that there’ll be another mark to have make sure he keeps covered.

“Touch me,” he demands when he feels Bones’ fingers brush against his belly. Bones groans and shoves his hand into Jim’s shorts, tugging on his cock with firm strokes. Jim pays attention to every detail, even more than usual, from the way Bones smells fresh from the shower to the rough texture of his fingers sliding over Jim’s cock to the way his muscles clench in his back whenever Jim licks his neck.

Bones comes first, grunting against Jim’s shoulder and tightening his grip on his cock when his body starts to tremble. He’s still panting when he drops to his knees and pulls Jim’s boxers down. “I can’t believe how much I love your cock,” he mutters before he licks and sucks and drives Jim crazy with his tongue. Jim rocks his hips, fucking Bones’ face and pulling on his hair just enough to make him growl. The vibrations around his cock are unbelievable, and he doesn’t have time to give a warning before he comes.

He looks down to see that Bones managed to pull back, though he has semen on his chin and his chest with the rest in a puddle on the floor. Jim leans down and licks Bones’ chin, tasting himself before he kisses Bones. When he pulls back, he smiles. “Now we can finish getting ready for graduation.”

“No more glaring at the sun?” Bones asks as he rubs his fingers against Jim’s scalp.

“No promises, but I’ll try,” Jim tells him honestly.

Bones sighs. “Consider it a challenge maybe. To get through today focused on your new ship and your new crew and all the shit that should have you bouncing around here more than Chekov on a sugar high. We don’t want to look back on today and remember it as being depressing and gloomy.”

“A challenge. Got it.” Jim straightens up and puts his foot on his discarded boxers, wiping them over the puddle of come to clean up the floor. “You know, it’s kinda fucked up when you’re the one giving me advice on how to be optimistic and all.”

“It’s a wild world,” Bones says dryly before he grabs the damp boxers and tosses them into the basket of laundry. “I’m going to go ahead and send all this off to get washed. Anything you have to add to it?”

“No.” Jim snaps his fingers. “Wait. My socks. I think they got kicked under the bed.” He gets onto the floor and peers under, finding one but not the other. Damn it. “Well, I’ve got one of them.”

“Hmm?” Bones blinks and raises his gaze, where he’d been staring at Jim’s bare ass. Jim smirks and wiggles just a little before he gets to his feet and holds up one sock. “Oh, right. I think I saw the other one under the table. It was damp, from that whiskey.”

Jim finds it underneath Bones’ boot. He tosses the socks into the basket and ogles Bones’ firm ass as he bends down to pick up the basket. The material of his boxers pulls nice and snug, which gives him a good view. When Bones pushes the boxers down, the view gets even better. “I love your ass.”

“Stop staring and get dressed. We don’t want to be late for graduation, Captain,” Bones drawls as he puts the laundry into the transporter. He gets a clean pair of shorts from the drawer and then tosses Jim one of the pairs he’s left over. Jim doesn’t stop staring, even as they get their uniforms on and comb their hair.

When they arrive at the ampitheater, it’s already really crowded. Civilians are mingling with cadets, and Jim searches the sea of faces for his crew. “See anyone?” he asks Bones.

“A lot of people.” Bones rolls his eyes and drags Jim to their assigned section. It seems like everyone is there, wearing their dress uniforms and looking magnificent. The sunny day isn’t so bad now that they’re here, but, if he sees anyone breaking into spontaneous song and dance, Jim’s going to kick their ass.

“Alright, crew. Let’s show these others how it’s done,” he calls out to his group. He winks at Gaila before he turns and stands at attention, focusing on the pride and happiness of this moment. Bones is standing beside him, and Chekov and Sulu are just a couple of cadets to his right. While there’s a slight twinge when he looks out at the civilians and sees parents who are glowing with pride, he’s sort of used to it, so it doesn’t bother him too much.

Bones shifts beside him, and Jim bites his bottom lip when he feels Bones’ hand casually brush against his. He crooks his little finger, snagging Bones’ and squeezing gently as he keeps his attention focused on the stage. Admiral Barnett takes the stage and stands behind the speaker’s podium. Jim can hear whispers all around him as the students chattered. Barnett clears his throat, and it doesn’t take long before everyone’s quiet.

“This assembly calls Captain James Tiberius Kirk,” Barnett announces.

Jim’s careful not to show his surprise at being called first. He squeezes Bones’ finger one last time before he pivots and breaks from formation. Everyone is watching him march down past the rows of his fellow offices and students, but he keeps his shoulders straight and his head held high. If he looks at them, he might end up grinning, and that probably isn’t appropriate right now. Damn it. It’s impossible not to smile, not when he’s so far away from the delinquent picking bar fights in Iowa with no direction or goals beyond living through another day.

He ascends the stairs to the podium, turns sharply, and halts at attention, waiting. Barnett looks at him, and Jim tries to force his smile down a little. Barnett clears his throat again before he begins speaking. “Your inspirational valor and supreme dedication to your comrades are in keeping with the highest traditions of service and reflect utmost credit upon yourself, your crew, and the Federation. By Starfleet Order Two-eight-four fifty-five, you are hereby directed to report to commanding officer of U.S.S. Enterprise for assignment as his relief.”

Fuck. This is real. Jim has to resist the urge to pinch himself. Instead, he acknowledges it with a salute before he turns and walks past Barnett to where Pike is sitting in his autochair. The wind is ruffling his gray hair, and Jim can’t help but straighten his shoulders a little more when he sees the pride in Pike’s eyes and the slight smile on his lips.

“I relieve you, sir,” he says loudly. It’s almost like no one is even breathing, with how quiet the ampitheater is right now.

“I am relieved,” Pike says quietly. He opens a box that’s resting on his lap, no longer smiling as he slips on the formal admiral mask. Jim looks inside the box and sees a medal. It’s distinctive, but he can’t read the words that are engraved on it yet. “And as fleet admiral, in acknowledgment of your…unique solution to the simulation, it’s my honor to award you with this commendation for original thinking.” Jim can appreciate the acknowledgement for original thinking, but he still doesn’t really understand why the medal is being given under the guise of the simulation when it’s clearly for saving the damn world. He steps closer and notices that Pike is barely restraining a smirk as he pins the medal to Jim’s chest. “Congratulations--Captain.”

“Thank you, Sir,” he says, unable to resist a small smirk of his own before he turns to face the crowd. He isn’t sure what he expects from them, but the sheer volume of applause and shouts of appreciation are overwhelming. He blinks quickly when he feels his eyes becoming damp because he is not going to cry over this. As he scans the crowd, he finds Bones’ face and shares a quiet moment amidst the cheering, smiling widely when he sees the flash of dimples on Bones’ face.

It’s a long way from Iowa. Thank God.

After he leaves the stage, he’s directed to stand beside Pike near the stairs, so that he can offer congratulations as the other students go through the graduation process. He shakes dozens of hands and smiles the entire time. His smile only fades once, when Bones walks up to Barnett and receives an assignment that Jim knows isn’t going to be the Enterprise. An elbow hitting the side of his leg pulls him back to attention, and he ignores Pike’s mutterings as he shakes Bones’ hand and lets his grip linger a second longer than it probably should.

When the ceremony is over, he is surrounded by officers and guests who just ‘have to meet Captain Kirk’. All he really wants to do is to find Bones and hear where he’s going for assignment and maybe kick a wall or two before going back home and not leaving the bed until they have to. Instead, he has to play the game, moving his way around the circle and charming everyone he meets. It’s a good thing that being charming is second nature because he honestly doesn’t think he could make it through this right now if it took effort.

There’s finally a lag in attention, but it doesn’t last long. He sees the handsy wife of one of the admirals coming his way and wonders if he can make a dash for the groups of students not too far away. Before he can run, Pike approaches him. “Act like we’re discussing something fascinating but boring,” Pike instructs him.

Jim gives him a confused look. “How would I act for something like that?”

“That dazed look you’ve got now is sufficient,” Pike says. “That woman is impossible, and you certainly don’t deserve to have to endure her on this particular day, Captain.”

“It’s one of the curses that comes with being pretty and having a nice ass,” Jim says seriously, even as he fights a smile. “But I think I might have a bruise by the time I get away from these vultures.”

Pike snorts. “At least you’re used to it, then.” He smiles. “I’m proud of you, son. I trust that you’re going to take excellent care of our ship.”

“My ship,” Jim corrects with a smirk. “She’s all mine now, Admiral. And, yes, I am going to take good care of her.”

“Ah, but I had her first. They always remember their first,” Pike says casually. Jim chokes on the fruity punch that he’s drinking and sees Pike smirking. Bastard. Pike looks around the crowd before focusing back on Jim. “I think you’ve done your duty here today, Captain. I expect that you’d like to go find your friends and celebrate with them instead of dealing with politics on graduation day.” He lowers his voice. “I have heard that Doctor McCoy was unable to be assigned to the Enterprise. I’m sorry, Jim.”

He tightens his lips and shrugs a shoulder. “Seniority and all that, you know? I’ll have to find another CMO, but not yet.” He straightens his shoulders. “It won’t be easy, obviously, because he’s the best.”

Pike studies him and finally nods. “Another CMO. Right.” He glances at the crowd before arching a brow at Jim. “You should sneak away now, Captain. Find McCoy and try to enjoy yourself. You’ll be swamped with work come Monday.”

“Yes, sir.” He doesn’t protest because he really wants to see Bones. He salutes Pike and smiles before he leaves the group and starts looking for Bones.