Inell's Fanfiction Archive

"Wh..wh..what are you doing here?"

Spike smiled as he savored the scent of fear that filled the air. He watched her squirm in place, her eyes darting around as if looking for someone to save her. His smile softened as he realized she might run off before he could even make his proposition. "I needed to talk to you."

"Me? Why?" she asked, obviously confused.

"I lied for you," he said simply.

She shook her head, still puzzled, "Lied? For me? How?"

"You really don't know?" he asked, almost laughing as she shook her head quickly. Her heart was racing, the fear still strong. Damn, it felt good to be feared again. "Last night. With your little friends. I lied."

"You lied?" Tara squeaked, glancing around the empty library. She had never said more than a half a dozen words to Spike yet he had found her alone to talk to her and now claimed that he had lied for her. "How?"

He moved the chair opposite her, sprawling in it as his blue eyes scanned the library for any of the little gang. He knew the slayer was out with her boy toy hunting and it appeared Red was helping the watcher. Good, he couldn't talk to the little witch with the others around. "You don't remember?"

Tara's face grew thoughtful as she remembered the night before. Her family had been there and the fight. Her father lying to her and making her think she was a demon. Buffy standing up for her, the others standing up for her. The feeling of belonging. Suddenly, her eyes widened as she remembered Spike moving forward and hitting her then clutching his head in pain.

"The little girl's finally got it," Spike said with a smirk.

"No," Tara said, shaking her head as she looked at the tabletop. Her hands were shaking as she tried to understand what he was eluding to.

"Got them off your back, didn't I?" he asked.

"Why?" she asked, looking up into his cold blue eyes and almost shivering from the lack of emotion in them.

"Well, it's a funny thing," he began, "I was gonna just sit back and let them take you away. No skin off my nose, ya see? Then I realized that I could help. A sort of, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

"But, I don't feel different," Tara said quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear their conversation. What was she going to do? Suddenly, she frowned, "I'll scratch yours?"

"Yeah, little witch," he said with a smile. "See, I realized that you could help me. I saved your ass last night. Lied and acted like I couldn't hurt you. Let the daft slayer figure out the rest. I never actually said you were human. Just said it must be a fact."

"You...you won't tell them?" she asked. "I mean, are you sure? I don't feel like a demon. I haven't changed or anything."

He shrugged, "Ya might not for a bit. It's there though. I can feel it. Why the hell would I lie about it?"

"I don't know," she confessed.

"I won't tell, if you help me," he said.

"With what?" she asked. "What could I ever do to help you?"

"You're the witch. Find a spell to get this damn chip outta my head," he said.

Her eyes widened, "I couldn't do that. You'd be able to hurt people again."

He moved quickly, his hand grabbing her chin, his fingers digging into her skin, "You will do that or I'll tell them the truth."

"You're hurting me," she whispered, tears in her eyes. She saw his eyes flash yellow as she realized he was telling the truth. She wasn't human or else he'd be in pain. He was emotionless, his eyes hard. What was she going to do?

"Like I care?" he asked, his tone amused despite the lack of humor on his face. "I want this chip out. I'm sick of being weak, of being pathetic. I want to be myself again. You, little witch, are going to find a spell of some sort to get it out. Or else, I'll be whispering sweet nothings in Red's ear. Wonder what she'd think if she knew she was shagging a demon. Bet she'd be pretty quick in tossing you out on your scrawny little ass right before the slayer killed ya. What do you think?"

"Y..y..you couldn't hurt Willow," she said, her hands going to claw at his as he tightened his hold on her throat.

"I won't hurt your girl," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Can you do it?"

"I don't have a choice," she said softly, breathing in deep gulps as he released her.

"Good," he smiled as he leaned back.

"Do you know what I am?" she had to ask. She couldn't believe this was happening. Last night had been the first night in years that she had slept the entire night through. No nightmares of being a demon. No horrible thoughts of killing people she loved. Goddess, what if she hurt Willow?

"Not a clue," he shrugged, "can't tell you guys apart. One's about the same as another. Kind of have the same sort of smell even. Do you need anything from me before you start?"

She shook her head, "No. If I do, well, I know where to find you. You just want the implant removed?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I want that damn thing gone. I want to be myself again."

"And you promise not to hurt Willow?" she had to know. If she doubted him, she'd rather lose Willow by being a demon than be responsible for her death.

His eyes flashed completely yellow as he hissed, "I could never hurt Red."

"If...if I turned into something that tried to hurt her," Tara stammered, not sure if she could ask.

He smiled, his eyes cold blue again, "I'd kill ya, if that's what you want."

"Please?" she asked.

He shrugged, "If you try to hurt Red, I can kill ya."

She smiled softly, "Thanks." She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she cleared her head, "I can start looking for something tonight, but I don't know how long this might take."

"No huge hurry," he said, his mind thinking, "not like I haven't lived with this for the last year or so anyway. What's another few months? Doubtful that I'd suddenly decide that I want to keep it, right?"

"Right," she echoed softly, thankful that he didn't seem to be a big hurry. It would give her time to work on it without drawing Willow's curiosity.

"No one finds out about this," he said," and no one finds out that you're less than human."

"Thanks," she said. "For not saying anything last night. I don't think I could handle losing Willow...."

"What-ever," he said, giving her no doubt that he had done this for his own benefit and not hers. "I'll check with you in a couple of weeks."

"I'll um get in touch if I find anything," Tara said, watching him leave before closing her eyes and putting her head on the table and finally letting the tears fall down her cheeks.

********************

"You're so tense," Willow said as she moved her hands over her girlfriend's shoulders.

"Am I?" Tara asked, moaning softly as she moved against the bed. She closed her eyes, forgetting everything except the feel of Willow's hands on her body.

"Yeah," Willow smiled softly, moving her hands against Tara's skin. She loved touching Tara. It was so weird that something as simple as touching could make her so happy.

"Hmm, that feels good," Tara said.

"Where were you tonight?" Willow asked as she pushed her hands in deeper. Years of helping Buffy loosen up after a long night of patrol were paying off. Of course, she'd never massaged Buffy in quite the same way. Her cheeks reddened as she pushed that particular mental image away. She loved Buffy, but not in quite the same way she loved Tara. Nudity and Buffy just weren't two things she wanted to think about together. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and laughed softly, "I missed you."

"I had things to do," Tara said a bit more sharply than she had planned.

"O...kay," Willow said with a small frown as she felt Tara stiffen. "So, Buffy wants us to come over tomorrow. She was talking about having a slumber party."

"I think I'm going to be busy," Tara said. "I'm working on some things."

"Some spells?" Willow asked, having seen her girlfriend with a few books she hadn't seen before.

"No," Tara said, her voice not at all convincing. "Something for class."

"Oh," Willow replied, closing her eyes briefly. Why was Tara lying to her? She had seen the books, knew that they were new. Well, not new. There had been three books that all appeared to be rather old and falling apart. What was Tara getting into? "So, you don't think you'll make it over to Buffy's tomorrow?"

"No," Tara said. "But you should enjoy it. You two haven't really seen each other a lot lately."

"I could miss it. Stay here and help you with your studies," Willow said, waiting.

"I don't need you," Tara said. "You can use a fun night with Buffy."

"OK, spill it," Willow said, moving off of Tara's back and staring at her girlfriend. "Have I done something?"

"What?" Tara looked at Willow, her eyes wide, "Goddess no."

"Then what is it?" Willow demanded. "The past couple of weeks you've been pushing me away constantly. If it wasn't something I've done, what is it? We were doing well...."

"You're imagining things," Tara said, frowning. She sat up, running a hand through her hair. "Willow, there's nothing wrong between us."

"Then explain why you're always too busy for me," Willow asked. "It's been weeks since you've really talked to me. You're here but you're never really here. We were good on your birthday. It seems like after that, though, you're pushing me away."

"I love you, Willow," Tara said truthfully. "I'd never push you away. I've just been dealing with a lot lately. School is getting stressful. You know, exams and such."

"Are you sure that's it?" Willow asked skeptically. She knew Tara was practicing magicks, could feel the power in the early morning hours when Tara would finally come home and crawl into bed. She was scared, not sure what her lover was getting into.

"I'm sure," Tara smiled. "It's almost over. Then things can go back to how they were."

"They can never go back, Tara," Willow said softly, looking at their joined hands. "I love you. You know that. You can tell me anything, and I'll always be here for you. Is there something we should talk about?"

"No," Tara said. "We're good. Soon, we'll be better than good. I'm almost done. You'll see. Things will be fine soon."

"All right," Willow smiled. "I'll trust you on this one."

"Good," Tara leaned over and kissed Willow softly. "I've missed this. Kissing you. I love kissing you."

"I love kissing you too," Willow said, running her tongue over Tara's bottom lip. "I'm missed this," she said with a wicked smile as she moved her hand along Tara's upper thigh.

Tara moved her mouth along Willow's neck down to the collar of the redhead's T-shirt. She teased the flesh with her tongue, moaning when she felt Willow's hand drift up her thighs and brush against her curls. Tara moved her body, bringing Willow down with her to the bed. The redhead giggled as the T-shirt was pulled over her head. Tara took Willow's nipple into her mouth, tasting her lover for the first time in nearly two weeks. She had been so busy trying to hold up her end of the bargain with Spike that she had hardly seen Willow. But, she had finally found something. She had researched it for a couple of days, thinking that it was going to work. She was still hesitant about removing the chip from Spike, but she didn't really have a choice. She was a demon. He had lied to protect her. Because of him, she was now laying in bed with Willow instead of dead from Buffy's sword. She owed him a lot more than just removing the chip. And he had promised not to kill Willow. That was good enough for her. She'd get the chip removed and then worry about dealing with her demon. Tara was not one to renege on debts owed. Tomorrow, she'd try to find Spike and tell him what she had found. Maybe by the weekend, this entire ordeal would be behind her. She pushed those thoughts from her mind as she concentrated on the feel of Willow's hands and mouth, simply enjoying being with her lover.

********************

Spike took a deep drag from the Marlboro, his blue eyes watching the shadows through the filmy curtain. He leaned against the tree in the slayer's front yard, finding a comfortable piece of bark and resting his head against it. He had been watching Buffy for the past few weeks. Seeing her with that moron she called a boyfriend. Watching her help her Mother. Simply watching her. She was a mystery, she was. When he had first started walking past her house at night, he'd thought he must be going insane. He'd seriously decided the chip must have malfunctioned or something. Now, though, he understood. It had been nearly three weeks ago when it had all finally started to make sense. One clarifying dream and his vision was no longer clouded. He was no longer living in denial. He knew exactly what he was doing and why and it felt damn great.

He saw the curtain move slightly and a flash of red hair before it fell back into place. His little witch was staying over with the slayer. He'd stood outside, listening to bubbly laughter and giggling mixed with music and the constant chattering of two old friends. Never before had he felt more left out. His eyes narrowed slightly, not liking that feeling. He didn't want to be a part of them, but it hurt in ways he'd never imagined to be faced with the knowledge constantly that he wasn't a part of them. He tossed the remainder of his cigarette to the ground, it joining the ever-growing pile of other discarded butts from the weeks of watching. He moved from the tree, going to sit under the balcony. Soon, he was rewarded when the doors opened.

"I think he's gone," Willow said quietly, glancing inside at her best friend.

"Good," Buffy said, making a face. "It's starting to give me the wiggins, you know? Him always out there watching me. Just weird."

"Weird?" Willow sighed, moving outside and taking a deep breath of air. She wished she had something that weird happening to her. Someone that cared enough to follow her and make sure she was always all right. As it was, her lover was doing who knew what behind her back. "I think it's kind of sweet."

"Sweet?" Buffy laughed, looking at her friend like she was crazy. "Wills, this is Spike. I can't stand him and he hates me. It isn't sweet that he's always watching me now. It's just weird. I don't really know how to handle it. I mean, so far Riley hasn't noticed this sudden attention, but he's gonna soon enough. What am I supposed to do then?"

"Why do you think Spike's watching you? Do you feel threatened?" Willow asked, her attention on the tops of the trees that were gently blowing in the wind.

"From Spike?" Buffy laughed again. "Not likely. I mean, even without the implant, I was kicking his ass. Now, with it, well, I don't really see him able to kill me. Besides, the way he's acting, I don't think killing me is on his mind, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," Willow said softly, knowing that Buffy was only speaking the truth. Spike was in love with the slayer. Despite all his heated words with the blonde, the constant threats and promises of death, he'd fallen for Buffy. Willow could understand it. After all, most men that knew Buffy seemed to want her. And Spike was definitely a man. It didn't surprise her in the least that he wanted Buffy. It did rather surprise her though that he actually seemed to care about the slayer. Watching her, following her, helping the gang out even without being forced. Those were signs of something far deeper than lust. And Buffy seemed to have no clue what she was ignoring there.

"He wants me," Buffy shrugged. "I don't get it, but he does. The other day he came up to me on patrol and helped out a bit. I seriously thought he was going to try to kiss me."

"What would you have done?" Willow asked.

"Kicked his ass," Buffy said without hesitation. "I love Riley. Even if I didn't, well, this is Spike. I mean, yuck. He's so totally not my type. I doubt I could even be friends with him much less do anything else. He's a vampire and a killer. The implant doesn't change that even if does make him a defenseless little vampy."

"I wouldn't really call Spike defenseless," Willow said, glancing at Buffy. "He is a pretty old vampire, you know?"

"Old, schmold," Buffy said. "I kicked his ass more times than I could count. He's all talk, no follow through. Guess those years of being Dru's lapdog ruined him. Either way, he's definitely not a threat. I kind of feel sorry for him, actually. Skulking around wanting me, having to feed from bags. It must be tough. I just wish he'd get over this stupid crush before Riley catches him and kicks his ass."

"Spike's not that bad," Willow said, remembering the slight crush she had started to get on the blonde after he had kidnapped her and Xander. Then, it had come back when he had tried to kill her. Hearing him remember what she had been wearing that day, looking into his eyes and seeing something that she couldn't quite understand, well, she had fallen again. But, she had Tara now. She didn't want Spike. Wasn't really sure if she had ever really wanted him or it was just the aura of danger and sex that surrounded him that intrigued her. Didn't really matter now. He wanted Buffy, just like all the boys she knew did. Even if she wasn't with Tara, he'd never look at her the way he watched Buffy now.

"If you like pathetic neutered vampires," Buffy said with a grimace.

"Buffy, that's mean!" Willow said, glaring at her friend. "He's helped us quite a bit the last few months. And it didn't take threats or you forcing him into it. I'd say you should remember that he saved us before being so rude. So, he has a crush. Xander had a crush on you and got over it. I'm sure Spike will too."

Buffy's eyes narrowed as she studied Willow, "Quite the little defender of him, aren't you?"

"I'm not defending anyone," Willow said with a sigh. "I'm just tired of hearing you diss him for caring. If someone cares, they should be rewarded. They shouldn't be ignored or lied to or treated like they're weird."

Buffy's face softened when she realized that Willow wasn't speaking about Spike anymore. She moved towards her friend, taking her hand and asking, "Honey, what's wrong? Did you and Tara have a fight?"

Willow shook her head, "You'd have to talk to have a fight."

"Uh oh, like that is it?" Buffy asked, sighing. Willow was the best person she had ever met but the redhead had the worst luck with love. She knew she should support the redhead's decision to be with Tara, and she honestly didn't mind that Willow was gay. It didn't change who Willow was, not really. But, Buffy still couldn't help but feel that Willow was trying too hard to be someone she wasn't. She knew that Tara had been there when the rest of them hadn't. She couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that Willow's sudden realization that she was bi-sexual wasn't because of a deep love for Tara, but because the other girl had been there when she needed someone. Of course, she wasn't about to suggest her theory to Willow. If Willow liked being with girls, it wasn't her place to judge. She just didn't think that Tara was what Willow truly needed in her life. Was she a bad friend for sitting back and letting Willow make a bad decision? She didn't think so. Again, it wasn't her place to tell Willow who to love. And she hoped that she was wrong. That Tara did turn out to be what Willow needed. She just wasn't seeing it yet.

"She's been pushing me away for weeks," Willow said with a frown.

"Do you think she's still upset over her family?" Buffy suggested.

"I don't really think that's it," Willow said. "I mean, we were fine the day after that. She's just, I don't know. It just hurts, you know?"

"Yeah," Buffy said softly, thinking of her love for Angel and how not being with him had hurt. "It's tough, but it's worth it."

"Is it?" Willow had to ask what had been nagging at her mind for days. "How do I know that? I thought it was worth it for Oz and look what that got me. I don't think I can deal with that again. I don't think she's being honest with me. Something is going on with her and she doesn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. What does that say for our relationship? I trusted her with your true identity. I've brought her on patrols and been completely honest. Yet, she's lying to me now. I know she is. She's looking me right in the eyes and telling me what I want to hear. How can I love her if she's doing that?"

"Do you?" Buffy asked. "Love her I mean."

Willow nodded, "Yeah, I mean, she's great. She listens to me. She's always there for me. She's nice and smart and pretty. And we get along. I don't worry when I'm with her. I feel...I don't know, it just works. But, I can't be with a liar. I've been there, done that. Last night, I tried to get her to be honest. I mean, I was prepared for whatever she planned to tell me. She didn't. I don't know anymore. It's just too tough. Maybe I should be single for awhile."

"If you care about her, give her a chance," Buffy said. "Maybe you're just overreacting and there really isn't anything going on. You do tend to overthink things."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right," Willow smiled. "So, you ready to watch another movie?"

Buffy nodded, "Uh huh. All this serious talk has started to put a damper on my fun filled evening. I need some music and romance."

"That sounds good," Willow followed her friend back inside, moving to sit down and make herself comfortable as she pushed all her doubts about Tara out of her mind.

Spike moved from under the balcony, his eyes thoughtful as he added one last butt to the pile. He glanced back up to the room, hearing the opening strains of yet another movie. He smiled slightly before walking away. He had an appointment with a witch that he certainly didn't want to miss. He'd go back by afterwards, just to make sure everything was still all right.

********************

Tara stood awkwardly beside the headstone, jumping slightly every time she heard a noise. She wasn't fond of cemeteries in the first place, but especially not of one after midnight. She glanced at her watch, frowning when she saw that he was late. They had agreed to meet at 12:30 and it was nearing one. Maybe he had forgotten. Somehow, she doubted that. He was probably late on purpose, wanting her to have to wait for him. She held her book tighter against her chest, hoping that she would not run across any vampires.

"Good, you're still here," Spike said as he moved towards the witch.

"You're late," she said tightly, glaring at him before her eyes widened and she realized what she had done.

"Am I?" he simply said, cocking his head to the side and studying her. "C'mon."

She followed him through the headstones towards his own crypt. When she walked inside, she let out a sigh of relief. Even the crypt was better than being out there in the open. All she'd needed was a sign that proclaimed her as vampire food and she'd have felt perfect. She glanced around, finally moving to settle herself onto the old sofa. She looked up at him and found his cold blue eyes watching her. "Um, you can sit down." "I prefer standing," he said with a snarl. "Why did you want to meet?"

She glanced down, taken aback at his attitude. She'd have thought he'd be thrilled to hear from her. "I think I found something."

"And?"

She looked up, frowning, "And what? I found a spell that should destroy the implant. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Was it?" he asked in a lazy tone, his eyes still cold.

"Fine, I'll leave if you changed your mind," she said bravely, her words betraying her fear.

"Sit," he barked out, moving to sit in a chair opposite her. "I told you that I wasn't in much of a hurry. Didn't take you very long."

"I got lucky," she said honestly. "I found some old books at the magic store and the third one I looked through had something that I think will work. It's a bit vague, but my translation shows that it should deactivate the implant. Sort of make it null and void."

"I've been trying to get rid of it for over a year and in less than two weeks you've found the way?" he said, laughing sharply. "Just my luck."

"Like I said, I got lucky," she repeated. "There is a list of supplies that I'd need to get, but I could pick them up tomorrow. It doesn't sound like it is going to be that difficult of a spell so it shouldn't take that long."

"Quite the eager little beaver, aren't you?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "So, what you're saying is that by this time tomorrow night, I could be myself again?"

She nodded, "Yes. The implant would remain in your head, but it wouldn't work. If you'd like, I could probably find an easy enough spell to even remove the metal after the power has been taken from it. That would take me another day or two though. I could always do that after we deactivate the chip." His lips twitched slightly and he said, "You're beginning to babble like my Red."

"Oh, sorry," Tara stuttered, having not realized she was babbling. She failed to hear the rather possessive way he spoke of Willow, too embarrassed at having been babbling to pay particular attention to the remainder of his sentence.

Spike nodded suddenly, "I don't want the hunk of tin left in me head. Find something to remove it, then we'll talk again. I can wait a wee bit longer to remove the chip. Besides, my plans have altered themselves slightly the past few weeks. I no longer intend to leave Sunnydale immediately after the chip is gone."

"You...you aren't going to hurt Willow?" Tara asked, having not known the blonde intended to leave Sunnydale at all and finding herself slightly curious as to why his plans had been altered.

"I said I wouldn't," he said sharply, giving her a look. "Do you not trust me?"

"Th..th..that isn't it," she said, feeling scared at his obvious anger, "I just wasn't sure."

He shrugged, "Whatever. We will do both spells at the same time. When you find the other, get in touch with me."

"OK," she said, getting to her feet. "I'll buy the supplies we need for the deactivation spell so we're ready as soon as I find the other one I need to find."

"Leave now," he said, watching her practically run from the crypt. He sat back, a slow smile crossing his face as he grew thoughtful. Things were going far better than he had planned for once. Getting to his feet, he headed towards the door. He would go back to the slayer's, watch until the lights went out then he'd go get a drink he decided. Humming to himself, he headed into the shadows.

********************

Willow had to smile as she watched Xander and Anya, envying them a bit for the obvious affection that existed between them. If you had asked her a year before, she'd have sworn that those two never would have lasted. Hell, if you'd even asked her six months before, she'd have said it was just sex between them. The last few months, though, she had to admit that they were in love. She was thrilled for them both, wanting nothing more than for Xander to find the happiness he so deserved. When she had finally given in and gotten to know Anya, she had found a friend of sorts. A tentative friendship that grew with each passing day. Since Tara had become so preoccupied lately, Willow had been spending more time at the magic shop, just helping out to kill time. It wasn't like Tara had even noticed her absence.

She and her lover had barely spoken the past week. Willow honestly couldn't remember their last conversation that had consisted of more than small talk. They were growing steadily apart and she was helpless. She couldn't do anything except sit and wait for the inevitable. She felt so powerless and hated not being able to do anything. She had tried, though. Boy had she tried. For the past couple of weeks she had done nothing except try. She was tired of it being a once sided relationship though. She couldn't keep them together, not when it appeared that Tara had other ideas.

Willow had tried several times to talk to Tara, to try to get something resolved. Every time her lover just looked at her with a wide-eyed stare as if she wasn't hearing what Willow was saying. She'd just smile and tell Willow that she was fine just busy then she'd go back into her own little world. And that was on the rare occasions that she had gotten in before Willow was getting up for school. She knew that Tara hadn't been to most of her early morning classes in days, and wasn't sure about the afternoon classes. Willow still had no idea what Tara was involved in, but she didn't know of any thing else she could do to find out answers. Anya seemed to believe she was wasting her time with Tara, but Willow still held on to the slightest hope that this was just a phase, just a normal part of any relationship. She knew it was wishful thinking though. Knowing it and accepting it were two entirely different things.

"Where's the watcher?"

Willow brought herself out of her thoughts, looking at the blond vampire standing in front of her. She realized that she had not heard the door chime, cursing herself for being so wrapped up in her own head. She was just lucky that it had just been Spike and not some evil demon. "I'm not sure."

Spike frowned, seeing the sad look in her green eyes. "You're here alone?"

"It's kind of slow today," Willow said with a sigh. "Anya had plans with Xander and Giles had plans of some sort. I didn't realize he was gone, honestly. He probably went to pick up something for dinner. I distantly remember hearing something about Chinese food, now that I think about it."

"Bloody hell," he cursed. "I could have been anyone, pet. You'd be dead right now."

"You weren't anyone," she said patiently, not understanding his concern. "You were just Spike."

"The harmless, chipped laughingstock," he said bitterly.

"You aren't harmless and I would never laugh at you," Willow said softly.

"You wouldn't, would you?" he said, trying to keep his tone even while knowing without a doubt that she spoke the truth. Even with the chip, he could always sense just the slightest scent of fear from his little redhead. He knew that she wasn't scared of him, her eyes always held such courage when looking into his. He thought she was more scared of what he made her feel, made her want, made her realize about her true nature. That was a fear he enjoyed causing, if all truth be known. He added gruffly, "Where's your shadow?"

"Who knows?" Willow said, looking away from Spike's blue eyes. She knew he couldn't care less and was only asking to either try to make her upset or because he had no idea what else to discuss as he waited for Giles. She suddenly asked, "Why are you looking for Giles?"

Spike shrugged, not wanting her to know that he had only used that as an excuse when he had passed by and seen her looking so sad. "Heard about some new demon, thought he might be interested enough for the information that he'd give me some money. I need my fags."

"It's tough, isn't it?" she asked softly, hearing the tone in his voice as he spoke. "Having to ask former enemies for help..."

"Not much choice," he said with a snarl, hating her for always looking past his image and seeing things she had no business seeing. Nosy little chit. "Besides, I don't ask them for nothing."

"No, you don't," she acknowledged, knowing that he hadn't asked for help since that first night he had stumbled into Giles' apartment. Since then, he had traded for money or cigarettes or blood, information and hard labor for the things he needed to survive. She had to admire his will to survive, his strength even when implanted.

"Tell the watcher that I'll be around if he's interested," Spike said, studying her closely and seeing the same melancholy look in her eyes. He stiffened at the strange emotions her sadness brought out in him and his demon, each wanting to make her happy for some silly reason. He growled, angry at himself for caring.

"I will," she said, jumping slightly at his growl.

"And lock this damn door behind me," he barked out, "anyone could come in here and kill you when you're lost in that mind of yours."

"Nice to know you care," she muttered, a bit angry at his arrogant tone as he implied that she couldn't take care of herself.

"Lock it," he said in response, taking one last look at her before slamming the glass door. He headed across the street, finding a nice place in the shadows as he lit a Marlboro, knowing he wouldn't go anywhere until the watcher came back and his Red was no longer alone. He found himself wondering what had her so sad, a slight smile crossing his handsome face as he thought about her.

********************

"What?" Buffy said, turning to face Spike.

He looked at her with a slightly confused look, "Huh?"

"You were staring at me," Buffy said with a frown. "Why?"

"I was not," he denied, moving past her. He whirled around when she grabbed his shoulder.

"Yes, you were," Buffy said, becoming more annoyed that he was lying about it. "You've been watching me for the past few weeks. Why? What plan is bouncing around in that dyed head?"

"You're crazy," he said, pulling his arm free. He scowled as she refused to let him leave. Finally, he sighed, "Just drop it, slayer."

"I will not drop it," she said. "I don't want you to keep following me. It's irritating."

"I'm not following you," he snarled, angry at her for confronting him and demanding things. Who the hell did she think she was? Telling him what to do....Stupid bitch.

"I've seen you outside my house several times," she said, her tone snippy.

"I like your Mom. I was worried about her," Spike said smoothly, arching a brow.

"You've been standing outside my balcony because you're worried about my mother?" Buffy said in disbelief. "Give it up, Spike. That's the most ridiculous excuse I've heard yet."

"Really? So tell me, wise one, why am I watching your house?" he asked, crossing his arms and staring at her with cold, hard eyes.

"Because you want me," she said as if it was obvious. "You've got a crush, Spike. And, while I think it is real cute and all, it's so not gonna happen so deal with it. I can't stand you in a hate your guts and hope you die violently and gruesomely while I'm watching way. I mean, that implant might have you neutered at the moment but I know you'd kill me without hesitation if it was gone. Hell, you'd torture and kill all of my friends if given the chance and you can't deny that."

"If you hate me so much why don't you just stake me?" he challenged, his eyes flashing yellow.

"Because," she started, "it would be like hurting an injured puppy. You couldn't even fight back. Besides, we can use you at times. Nope, you'll survive as long as you've got the implant UNLESS you continue with this whole silent shadow stalker thing because it is so getting old."

"You're crazy," he snarled, wishing for a moment that he could simply snap her neck. Then he calmed himself, willing his demon down as he breathed out slowly in a hiss. "I am not going to stand here and listen to anymore of this from you."

"Spike," she started, wondering for just a moment if she might be wrong before she saw his eyes and knew she was right. "I'm serious. I don't mind you helping us like you have before, but I will not have you skulking around stalking me. So far I've managed to keep Riley ignorant about all of this, but he's gonna figure it out if you continue and then I won't be able to protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me," he said snidely, "especially from Iowa."

She just looked at him before rolling her eyes. She turned, leaving him behind as she left the cemetery and headed towards the Espresso Pump. Willow was waiting for her and she was suddenly developing a headache after her talk with Spike. Spike moved when he saw her turn the corner, his eyes flashing as he turned rapidly, his coat billowing behind him.

********************

Willow studied the blonde opposite her, knowing that something was bothering the slayer. She looked at her coffee then back at Buffy before asking, "Is something wrong?"

"Huh?" Buffy looked up, smiling wryly. "Sorry, I guess I haven't been the best company tonight."

"Did you and Riley have a fight?" Willow asked.

"God, no," Buffy shook her head. "I had a talk with Spike, before coming here. It wasn't very pleasant."

"Spike?" Willow frowned, "What about?"

"His little crush on me," Buffy said, taking a sip of mocha. "I called him on it."

"You did?" Willow asked in surprise. "What did he say?"

"He denied it," Buffy said, "but I could see it. I tried to be nice but forceful. I really do hope he listened."

"What did you say?" Willow asked, sitting back and listening as Buffy relayed their conversation. When Buffy was finished, she said, "That was just mean."

"What?" Buffy looked at Willow in surprise.

"If he really did love you, I mean, love love, that was cruel to treat him like that. You didn't even give him a chance to respond much less talk to you about it. You just assumed that your idea was the truth without even finding out," Willow looked at the table. "I'm used to you being rather selfish and self centered, Buffy. It's just part of you so I accept it. But, tonight, that was just bad."

"I'm not selfish," Buffy defended, trailing off. "OK, so I might be a bit self absorbed but I know he likes me. I just did it to save him the trouble of getting hurt."

"You did it because you don't want to deal with Riley if he finds out you knew that Spike was watching you and did nothing," Willow said. "Concern for Spike never entered into this. It was the easy way out."

"Quite the little Spike defender, aren't you?" Buffy said finally. "Does Tara know how you champion the bleached blonde dunder?"

"Tara doesn't talk to me anymore," Willow said tightly. "We've barely spoken a dozen words in a week. I doubt she'd know if I ran around naked with a large sign that said Protect the Vampires."

"Oh," Buffy said softly, having no idea that her friend's relationship had hit a snag. She had known there had been a bit of discontent, but hadn't realized it was so far gone. "She's gotten worse?"

Willow nodded, making a pained face, "I can't do anything. I try and she pushes me away. What's worse is that I don't even think she realizes she's doing it. I have no idea what she's into, but it's scaring me. She's coming in so late and I can feel the magic on her. She just smiles at me without actually seeing me and then goes on to class. It hurts to think it, but I fear that I've lost her."

"And me whining about having Stalker Spike isn't helping much, is it?" Buffy asked with a sheepish smile.

"It isn't helping," Willow answered with a smile. "I mean, I feel for him. If he does actually have feelings for you, I can understand how hurt and confused he must be. And if you're wrong, and he doesn't, I can imagine his reaction to that too."

"Wanting to kill a slayer?" Buffy asked, wondering if she really might have imagined Spike's crush. She knew it wasn't likely. He had been watching her for weeks, following her, standing outside her house. She'd even found him in her room once, though Willow didn't know about that.

"No, just angry at the world in general," Willow said.

"Are you going to try to work things out?" Buffy asked, remembering that being Willow's choice the last time they had a similar conversation.

"I don't think there's much chance," Willow said, resigned. "I can't live like this, not knowing what she's doing and not talking to her. That's not a relationship. I don't trust her anymore. I can't live with someone that I don't trust. I can't love someone that I don't trust."

"Do you want to stay with me for awhile? Until things calm down?" Buffy asked.

"No, but thanks. I really feel that I might need some time alone. I'm planning on moving back home. My Mom said it was OK. She and Dad are in Berlin for a series of lectures that are going to last three months. Maybe by then I'll have made some decisions about what to do," Willow said.

"Does Tara know you're leaving?" Buffy asked softly.

Willow laughed sadly, "She probably won't realize I'm gone."

"I'm sorry, Will," Buffy said sincerely. "I had hopes that this one might last for you."

"I don't know...I'm beginning to wonder if it is some sort of Hellmouth curse. I can't seem to find anyone that will just love me back," Willow said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Maybe you're just not looking in the right places," Buffy suggested, hating to see her friend so sad.

"I think I'm just going to stop looking," Willow decided. "You know that you really do need to apologize to Spike."

"Argh," Buffy moaned, "back to that? Why don't we just wait and see? If he stops being around, we'll know that I was right. If he stills seems the same, I'll apologize for jumping to conclusions. How is that Mom?"

"I guess it should be fine," Willow said. "For his sake, I really hope that he didn't have any feelings for you."

"I think it was just a silly crush. I can't see Spike suddenly deciding that he loved me, you know?" Buffy asked. "Just a bit too weird, even for the Hellmouth."

"And especially not after actually knowing you," Willow said, giggling slightly at Buffy's look of outrage. "What? You are definitely not his type."

"True. I'm not insane or dead," Buffy said sweetly.

"Hey, now, you've even admitted that you admire his devotion to Drusilla," Willow reminded the slayer of a conversation that they had had years before after Spike had kidnapped Willow. "When we were both talking about how it must feel to have someone that loved us that much."

"Yeah, I remember," Buffy said, making a face. "We were young and foolish. That's my excuse for ever admiring Spike."

"I don't know....I still find it admirable," Willow said, thinking of her own two doomed affairs. "The lengths he was willing to go to save her. You don't find that very often."

"OK. In a completely macabre way, that devotion and everlasting love is refreshing and admirable. I can envy it a bit, but I wouldn't dwell on ever finding anything like it," Buffy said.

"True. I mean, how many guys would plot and scheme just to have you with them forever?" Willow asked. "Not very many. I still can't believe she dumped him. She must be nuts."

"And again I hear that Spike devotion," Buffy remarked with curious eyes. "Is there something you want to tell me, Wills? I mean, last time I checked, you were playing on a different playing field."

"There's nothing you need to know, Buffy," Willow said with a smile. "I just admire him a bit is all. Nothing else. And I wasn't aware that I couldn't play on both fields."

"Ah," Buffy said, smiling. "Like that is it?"

"You make it sound so seedy," Willow shook her head. "Just because I loved Tara doesn't mean I'm a lesbian. And just because I loved Oz doesn't mean I'm straight. I think people get a bit too caught up in being one thing or the other instead of just being who they are."

"Yes, Ma'am," Buffy said, waving the waitress over. "Want another, Will?"

"That would be great," Willow said, in no hurry to go to the dorm and pack her belongings. She honestly doubted that Tara would even notice for days. Settling back in the booth, the two girls began to talk about happier things, trying to take the redhead's mind off what was awaiting her.

********************

Spike watched the witch, his blue eyes studying her closely. She was tired, her eyes dim with circles underneath them. She was fidgeting, the book opened in front of her. She was obviously nervous and he could smell the sweet scent of her fear. "Are you sure this will work?"

Tara jumped at his voice, nodding slowly, "As much as we can be. I think this is the best place to perform the ritual. It's clear and open."

"And if the slayer comes strolling by?" he inquired.

"She won't. I heard them talking about researching tonight. Was gonna ask Willow about this morning, but she was already gone," Tara said with a small frown. Shrugging it off, she continued, "The entire group is at the magic shop so we have the clearing to ourselves. Are you ready?"

Spike nodded, knowing he wanted the damn implant gone. He honestly had no immediate plans to terrorize the town or wreak havoc, but he wanted to the ability to do so if he chose to. With it removed, he could be himself again. He couldn't wait to taste fresh blood again. That was the one thing he had truly missed the most. "Let's get this done. I've got things to do tonight."

Tara nodded, relieved that this was almost over. She had put everything that she had into finding the spells that Spike needed. The fear that he would grow tired of waiting and tell Willow the truth had haunted her since she had found out she was really a demon. She still hadn't come to terms with that, feeling nothing at all different in her body. She prepared her materials and told him to sit in the middle of the circle. Reciting the words carefully and slowly, she completed the first spell that would deactivate the implant.

"D...d...does it feel different?" she asked after the spell was completed.

He shrugged, "Not really. Get on with it, girl."

She hurriedly began to prepare the next spell. When she was ready, she looked at him. He was simply sitting there, his eyes looking in front of him. "I'm ready."

He nodded, "Do it."

A similar process was repeated, only this time Spike cried out in pain sharply. When it was finished, he sat there, looking at the flickering candles in front of him. It had worked. There had been intense pain during one point where he thought his head might split open, but it had faded. He smiled, continuing to watch the flame dance in the soft breeze.

"Are you ok?" Tara asked, having heard his cry of pain. She saw him nod and then asked, "Did that feel like it worked?"

He shrugged, "Thing about spells, you never know if they work until your try them out."

She nodded, so happy that it was over. She began to gather her supplies, putting the book in her bag and then getting her materials together. She looked at Spike again, aware that he was most likely implant free. "You promise that you're not going to tell Willow, right?"

Spike nodded, the smile still on his lips. "I won't tell a soul."

"Good," she sighed in relief. "I don't want her to know that I did this."

"It's not very healthy in a relationship to lie to the one you love," he commented casually, swinging his head around to look at her. "You do realize that you're lying to Red, don't you? That you've been lying to you for the past two weeks or so?"

She nodded, "I know."

"Lying tends to hurt those around us," he continued, clucking his tongue. "You've been a bad girl, telling all those fibs."

Tara frowned, watching him gracefully get to his feet. "I'm not the only one lying to them."

"Ah, but I don't claim to love them," he said, smiling. "See, that's where the hurt is. They don't care if I lie to them. Hell, they expect it. You, on the other hand, you're one of their own. One of the trusted. Your betrayal would hurt them far worse than mine ever could."

"Well, they won't find out," she said, her voice determined.

"You're right. They won't," he said in agreement. "All busy researching at the magic shop, you say?"

She nodded, "Yeah. I'm planning on going over there when we finish this. I've hardly seen Willow for days."

He smiled, "You know, witch, I owe you for this. Getting rid of that damn implant."

"If it worked," she said, watching him curiously.

"If it worked," he added. "I'm gonna give you some advice. Something that you can take to the grave."

"What?" she asked, not having time to react before he moved.

Spike held her throat in his hands, smiling as she began to struggle. He leaned forward, taking every chance to enjoy this moment. He had wanted to kill this little bitch since Red had brought her home, spending many hours planning her death in a large variety of ways. She was the only one that he had an overwhelming need to kill. She had touched what was his, tasted what belonged to him. For that, she would pay with her life. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Never, ever trust a demon."

He heard her muffled screams and laughed, "Oh, and baby, the spell? It worked."

With those words, he bit into her neck savagely, draining her and enjoying the taste of fresh blood. He fed until she quit struggling, pulling back and looking into her lifeless dull eyes. He moved a hand over her face and smiled, "You see, luv, I don't like to share."

He let her drop to the ground as he turned, stripping his blood covered shirt off and replacing it with a fresh one. He grabbed the book she had been using and put in his bag, removing the one he had brought. His was dark magic, conjuring spells and spells for those not of the white light. He tossed his book in the middle of the circle before he picked up his bag. He then went to Tara's lifeless body and picked it up, slinging it over his shoulder. He began to practice his lines as he left the clearing, a cigarette dangling from his left hand as his right held her body on his shoulder. "I found her out at the hill. There were these candles around her and her throat was ripped open. She was already dead by the time I got there. I don't know who could have done it, but it had to be a fledge. Her neck's all torn up. Had to be a newbie not used to savoring his food....I'm so sorry Red...I tried...." Spike started to laugh, "This is gonna be too easy.....it's great to be back....."

********************

Willow listened to Buffy but didn't really hear anything the slayer was saying. She had moved out the night before. Left Tara and moved back home. She felt guilty in a way because it seemed like she had been sneaking behind her lover's back, but, in another way, she was glad that there hadn't been a big confrontation. Tara would have had to have been home for that. She doubted the girl even realized she was gone. She had cried all night snuggled back in her old bed, not able to fall asleep at all. She knew that she and Tara had drifted apart. She didn't blame the other girl any more than she blamed herself. She had been noticing the gap between start growing weeks before. She didn't understand it, but there wasn't much she could do to change it. So, she had been the strong one. The one that had broken their bond and left. And she really didn't regret it.

True, she cared about Tara. Had even loved her at one time. Never the love she read about in books. The passion and constant need to be with one another. No, it had been safe, comforting. She had needed to feel loved and Tara had given her that. She also had to accept part of the blame for their relationship not working. She had to have done something to make Tara keep secrets from her. They had always been so truthful with each other. Frowning, she realized that she'd probably never know what had come between them. She had left. There was no going back. She would like to still be friends with Tara, but knew in her heart that that was the only possible future the two shared together. Friends.

"Wills, you OK?" Buffy asked softly, having spent nearly five minutes just watching her friend when she realized the redhead hadn't been listening.

"Yeah. Just sort of sad, you know?"

"Want to come over tonight?" Buffy asked, knowing Riley could make it a night on his own. "We could get some ice cream and watch violent action movies."

Willow smiled, "Thanks for the offer, but I don't know. I think I might just want to be alone."

"If you change your mind," Buffy's words were interrupted by the door opening. She looked up, her eyes widening as her face lost all of its color. "Oh my god...."

Willow looked up, shaking her head, "No..."

Spike looked at his redhead, frowning when he saw the sadness and disbelief in her lovely green eyes. He looked at the body he was cradling close to him and whispered, "I found her...she was already gone...."

"Where?" Buffy demanded, looking from Spike to the dead face of Tara.

"Out on the ridge overlooking town," he explained, moving to carefully lay Tara's body on the floor. "She was in a circle of candles and such. Stumbled on her and thought she was doing some spell. Then I saw her throat. I brought her to you," he looked at Willow, giving her his best grief stricken look, "couldn't leave her out there to come get you."

Willow stood up, going to kneel beside her lover. She ran her fingers over Tara's face, tears falling silently down her cheeks as she felt the lifeless skin. She felt a hand on her shoulder, heard Spike whisper that he had tried but he'd been too late. That she had been gone. Willow closed her eyes, turning her head away from Tara's body and finding it buried in fabric covering a muscular chest. She began to cry openly, not believing that Tara was dead.

"Shh, baby....it's going to be all right," Spike whispered, stroking her hair as he held her. He could feel his shirt becoming wet from her tears but he didn't care.

"Willow, I'm so sorry," Buffy said, knowing that Tara's death right after Willow had left her was going to hit the redhead hard. Willow would blame herself even if it obviously was not her fault. That's just the kind of person that Willow was.

Willow moved her head, looking at Buffy and smiling sadly, "Would you go there and see if you find anything? If she was doing spells..."

"I'll go look," Buffy said, knowing her friend's unspoken fear. Had Tara somehow caused her death? She knew from Willow that the witch had been messing with dark magics. The wound on her neck was savage and could have been made by a vampire but it also could have been caused by any variety of demon. "Will you be OK here until I get back?"

"She'll be fine, slayer," Spike said, hissing the last word. He held Willow protectively against him, his eyes cold as they looked at Buffy.

"She'd better be," Buffy warned, not liking the idea of leaving Willow with Spike. Not now, not after finding out that her lover had been killed. Willow was a very emotional person and Spike would have no idea how to treat her. Buffy considered staying but knew Willow wanted to be assured that Tara hadn't somehow been responsible for her own death. She sighed, her hazel eyes looking at Willow as she asked, "Will you be OK with him?"

Willow nodded, "I trust Spike. He wouldn't hurt me, even if he could."

"Glad you have such faith in a sadistic murdering vampire," Buffy muttered as she grabbed her coat. She spoke louder as she said, "I'll be back as soon as I can. And Willow, you're staying with me tonight. I don't want you being alone."

"OK," Willow said softly, glad that she had a friend like Buffy. She looked back at Tara, sniffling before she put her back against Spike's shirt. "I can't look at her. Will you cover her up?"

He moved away from her, taking a sheet and putting it over the dead witch. "She's covered."

"I can't believe she's dead," Willow said softly. "I hope it was fast. I hate the idea that she was in pain."

"I'm sure it was quick and painless," Spike said, moving her back into his arms as he smiled above her head. Well, not too painless.

"Thank you," Willow said quietly, "for bringing her here and not leaving her out there. It means a lot."

"Anything for you, luv," he said sincerely, stroking her hair as he held her. That had gone off better than expected, he decided as he simply stood there, enjoying the feel of finally having her in his arms.

********************

Willow felt the others' eyes on her as she sat next to Spike. Buffy had called Giles from her cell phone, explaining that Tara had been killed. Soon after, he had arrived with Xander and Anya. Each wanting to offer comfort but not really knowing how to handle her grief. She sighed, burying her head closer to Spike's chest. She felt his hand on her shoulder, moving in slow circles as she kept from looking at her friends. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, how she was supposed to act. She couldn't believe that Tara was gone, killed by some unknown evil. She had left Tara, but the love had still been there. She felt as if someone had reached inside her heart and broken off a small piece, knowing that no matter how much time went by she would always be missing that small piece, the part that had belonged to Tara.

They had not heard anything from Buffy yet. The slayer was still searching the area that Spike had found Tara's body, hoping for some idea about what had happened. Willow had cried her tears until nothing was left. She felt as if she was to blame. If she had forced the issue of Tara's dark spells maybe the other witch would still be alive. There were so many ifs that filled Willow's mind at the moment she was starting to get a headache. What bothered her the most was that nothing would change it. Tara would still be dead. One thing she had learned over the past few years was that things usually happened for a reason. The good, the bad, all of them. No matter what she could have done, if it had been Tara's time to die, she would have died. True, it might not have been in this particular manner, but death was death. Willow knew that sounded harsh, especially for someone who had just lost her lover of nearly nine months. That's why she kept it to herself. It was better that way.

"Wills, do you need anything?" Xander asked in a hesitant voice.

"No, but thanks," Willow said, moving her head so that she could look at him but keeping it against Spike. He hadn't said anything since shortly after Buffy had left, but he hadn't let her go. He was offering silent support and strength for her, something she needed at that moment. "You and Anya should go home. There's nothing we can do. She's gone."

"Do you want to stay over with us tonight?" Anya asked, having no idea what Willow must be experiencing. She had never lost anyone close to her since she had become mortal so grief was something new to her. Her eyes looked towards where Tara's body lay and she found it strange that she would no longer be seeing the little witch around the magic shop. True, they had never been friends but she was used to Tara being there. And Willow, well, after all that the girl had been through in her short life, she didn't need this. Her eyes moved back to Willow who was still leaning against Spike. Anya's eyes narrowed slightly as she saw the rather possessive hold he had on the redhead, the way he seemed to be protecting her from everyone except himself. She frowned, thinking that something seemed different about him. There was a restrained power surrounding him, a look in his eyes that she not seen for many a month, a look that softened when he was looking at Willow. Good God, she froze as a random thought entered her mind. It couldn't be. She was just thinking crazy thoughts. Still, her eyes moved between Tara's body and Willow in Spike's arms....something was off.

"No, but thanks," Willow said. "Buffy wants me to stay with her tonight."

"If you're sure," Anya said, getting to her feet. She was going to keep her suspicions to herself for the time being. They were probably unjustified anyway. If she was right, though, who knew what he might do if confronted. She knew enough about his past to know that he was unpredictable. She'd rather not force his hand just in case his only plan had been to get Willow. But, when she got home, she was going to perform an uninvite spell and make sure Xander knew that no vampire, including Spike, was allowed in their apartment. Better safe than sorry, in her opinion.

"If you need anything, you know where we are," Xander said, leaning over and kissing Willow's cheek. His eyes widened slightly when he heard a low warning growl. Looking up, he found cold blue eyes watching him from an emotionless face. Maybe he had imagined it...."I'm sorry."

"Wasn't your fault," Willow said, giving his hand a squeeze. She watched him and Anya go before looking back at Giles. "Giles, about Tara, do you think we should call the hospital or what?"

"I believe their first question would be why she was moved. Their second why we waited so long to ring them," Giles said, his eyes looking at the body covered by the sheet. "I hate to say it, but I think she should be taken somewhere that she will be discovered."

"You want to leave her out at the park?" Willow said in a horrified voice. She shook her head, "No. I will not just leave her like that."

"It was merely a suggestion," Giles said, his fingers moving to rub his temples. "I suppose we could phone the police. I just worry about the questions that they will ask."

"You could take her to the hospital, leave her for them to find," Spike suggested, moving slightly to allow Willow more space. "They can take care of her body, luv."

Willow nodded, knowing that Spike's idea was the best so far. "Giles, would you mind doing it?"

"Of course not," he said, "would you like me to wait for Buffy?"

"I'll be fine," Willow said, wiping a tear with the back of her hand. "Take care of her for me."

"I will. You must be prepared to accept the news from the hospital with surprise," he warned.

"I will," Willow said. "Thank you."

"I will be in contact tomorrow to find out if Buffy found any clues as to what exactly took place," Giles said, moving to lift Tara's body as best he could.

Willow looked up at Spike after Giles had left, "Do you think she'll find anything?"

"I don't see why not," he answered slowly. "You look tired, luv. Why don't you take a nap until the slayer gets back."

"Not sleepy," she muttered, resting her head back on his chest. They sat in silence until she drifted off to sleep, Spike's arm still possessively around her shoulders.

********************

Buffy walked back to the magic store lost in thought. She had found Tara's blanket easily. It appeared to be undisturbed up on the hill overlooking Sunnydale. She had spent over an hour searching the area of signs of anything that could give them an idea of what attacked Tara. She had found nothing. Not even a broken branch that suggested someone had been hiding and watching the girl. Of course, she had found a spell book that was laying on the blanket along with candles that had long blown out. She didn't know anything about magic, but she had glanced through the book and seen some spells that didn't sound very nice. She knew that Willow was not going to handle that news very well. It would appear that whatever had killed Tara had been the effect of some spell she had cast. There hadn't even been any footprints in the dirt around the area. Just Tara's and a larger pair of boots that had to have been Spike's.

Buffy hadn't wanted to return to Willow without something, but it appeared that there was just nothing to find. Everything she could see suggested that Tara had come to the hill to perform a spell that got out of control, bringing forth some nasty that had killed the witch before disappearing again, and that Spike had stumbled upon her while hunting demons to fight. Of course, there were still many questions in the slayer's mind. What kind of spell would Tara have been doing? What magic had the blonde gotten herself involved with? How could she summon something that would kill her and then just disappear? Did it disappear or was it now loose in Sunnydale? If it was loose, why did she not see any kind of prints or signs of it? Why was Spike hunting up here? True, this was one of several parks in Sunnydale, but it was the farthest one away from town and civilization. Not many demons would be here unless they were hiding. Spike knew that, knew how isolated this area was. Why choose to go that far from town to hunt demons that he knew probably wouldn't be there in the first place? And when he does, he happens to stumble across Tara's body. If he hadn't been here, they might not have found Tara for days. She shook her head, knowing that she was being silly. She didn't trust Spike, but he had the implant. He couldn't have killed Tara. Besides, there wouldn't have really been a motive unless it was to get at her through her friends. And Spike just wasn't that type, that fitting Angelus' MO more than Spike. No, he had just gotten it in his head to go hunting and come across Tara.

She needed to quit being so suspicious of him. With the implant, he was as harmless as a declawed kitten. Even without it, she'd always managed to kick his ass. No, she believed him. He had found Tara and reacted, bring the witch to Willow. It was actually nice of him to care for once. The Spike she had known before would have laughed and then walked away, not even calling to let them know. He had changed though. The implant had softened him in a bit. So, maybe she had been wrong about him having feelings for her. She still knew that something was off, despite his words of protest. He had been trailing after her for weeks, watching her, listening to her. Maybe he was trying to spook her, or maybe he really did have some sort of fucked up crush. Whatever it was, she was glad that it seemed to have stopped. Since her talk with him, she had only felt him a few times, usually when the gang was together. She had to wonder if maybe he wasn't just lonely, wanting to be a part of the gang. It seemed weird to think of Spike being lonely, but she slowly to take to that idea. He was always around helping, even when he wasn't called. She knew that he had been with Drusilla since his turning, so this past year was probably the first time he had been alone in over a hundred and twenty something. She felt so stupid suddenly. Convincing herself that he must be in love with her when all along he was just tired of being alone.

She frowned as she walked, wondering what she could do. True, Spike was her enemy. Also true that she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. But, in the past, he had pulled through when needed. Usually in a self preserving or self benefiting way, but he had stood against Angelus all those years ago and helped with Adam when he could have easily left. She couldn't really see being friends with him, but she could tolerate him. He wasn't so bad once he let the act go and was actually himself. Xander hated him, but not as much as Angel. Anya had always gotten on with him, both often having conversations about their glory days. Riley, well, Riley she could deal with. Giles had lived with Spike for months so she knew he had a high tolerance level. Willow, well, the redhead had always been nice to Spike, Buffy remembered. She had often come in on the two of them talking in a friendly way. If anyone would be cool with her idea of being nicer to Spike, it would be Willow. Buffy remembered the way Spike had been with her friend earlier that night, how concerned he had appeared for Willow's loss. She frowned as a nagging came to the back of her mind. A nagging that she pushed away as being silly. With a determined look in her eyes, she walked onward. She'd start being nicer to Spike, make him feel like part of the group as delicately as she could without him realizing that she had figured out his secret. Somehow, she knew that he would be angry if he knew she had guessed that he was lonely and actually needed them in his own twisted way.

She brought her thoughts from Spike and her new project back to the matter at hand. Tara was dead. Willow had lost her lover. Buffy ached for the pain and loss her best friend must be experiencing. She had almost collapsed after Angel had left her to move, and he was still alive. Willow had lost two loves in one year, Oz and now Tara. True, Oz was still alive but he would not be back. And to lose Tara in such a violent way, she shuddered to think about it. She hoped she could help Willow through this. She knew that she tended to be a bit self absorbed at times, but she always tried to be there when her friends needed her. For a few months back last year, she had failed at being a good friend. Not anymore. She had tried to make sure that Willow and Xander both knew how much they meant to her.

Now Willow needed her. She intended to give the redhead whatever she needed, whether it be a comforting hug, a shoulder to lean on, a bit of breathing room or simply just silent support. Whatever it was, Willow would know that she wasn't alone and that she had a best friend that would do anything for her. Buffy glanced at the bag on her shoulder, the bag she had brought from the hill. It was Tara's, holding the books and candles she had found. She didn't really want Willow to have to deal with all of that now. It was tough enough losing someone you loved, but to have the doubt in your mind that that person may have caused their own death was worse.

She entered the magic shop, not surprised to see that the others had left. It had taken her nearly two hours at least to search and make it back. Her hazel eyes found Willow sitting on the lumpy sofa, her head resting on Spike's chest. Buffy couldn't tell if Spike was sleeping or not, though his eyes were closed. She put the bag down by the door, knowing that it could wait. Willow's face was red and splotchy from the tears she had cried, and Buffy knew she needed this rest. She hated to wake her but knew they needed to go home. She reached out her hand to touch Willow's shoulder but was stopped when Spike grabbed her wrist. Her startled eyes went to his face, seeing that his eyes were still closed. She whimpered slightly when his grip tightened, pulling her hand free.

"Let her be," he said softly, his hand falling back down to rest on Willow's shoulder.

"She's staying the night with me," Buffy said, rubbing her wrist with a frown. "I have to wake her to get her home."

"She's sleeping. Poor chit needs that," he said, his eyes opening as he looked at the slayer. He almost smiled when he saw her rubbing her wrist, hoping that a bruise would form.

"Yes, she does, but not here. She needs to sleep in a bed," Buffy whispered, not wanting to wake the redhead.

"She's fine here," he said back, not wanting to let her go now that she was with him.

"Spike, that couch is lumpy. It's almost dawn so you'll be leaving. I don't want her sleeping here and waking up alone," Buffy said, deliberately trying to explain without the condescending tone she usually used for the vampire.

Spike's eyes narrowed as he listened, wondering what game the slayer was playing at. She would normally have barked an order out and expected him to obey. He saw her eyes on Willow and could see the worry and concern in their hazel depths. He sighed, knowing that he couldn't push, not yet. "I'll carry her to your place."

"You will?" Buffy offered him a tentative smile. "I was going to try, but figured I'd end up running across some nasties or that I'd drop her."

"I won't drop her," he promised, reluctantly moving her off his chest as he stood. He gentle swung Willow into his arms, smiling as she snuggled against him, her eyes opening slightly.

"Spike?" she asked, blinking a sleepy blink.

"Shh, luv. Go back to sleep. Just carrying you off to bed," he said softly.

"Night," she whispered with a small smile before she closed her eyes and settled back against him.

"Spike," Buffy said as she gathered her and Willow's things.

"What?" he growled, pissed that she had disturbed his study of Willow.

Buffy opened the door and smiled, "Thanks."

Spike looked at her in surprise as she held the door for him, his eyes narrowing as again tried to figure out what her game was. He looked down at Willow as the girl sighed in her sleep and he smiled, deciding that Buffy's game could wait until later. He had more important things to take care of at the moment.

********************

Willow opened her eyes and frowned, sitting up and looking around. She was in Buffy's room. She glanced down and saw that she had been stripped and put into a large T-shirt, her clothes resting on a chair beside the bed. She ran a hand through her hair, memories of the previous night assaulting her as she sighed softly. Tara was dead. She leaned back against the headboard, tears filling her eyes. Her lover was gone. She would never see her smile or hear her voice or feel her soft touch in the darkness of the night. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she rested her forehead on them. She couldn't believe that Tara was really dead. It seemed like such a horrible nightmare.

Buffy stood in the doorway, her hazel eyes looking at her friend with sadness. She looked down at the cup of coffee in her hand and wondered if she should intrude. She heard a sniffle and looked up, taking a deep breath to steady herself and then entered the room. She called softly, "Wills? I brought you some coffee."

Willow looked up, smiling through her tears as she saw her best friend. "Buffy, it's not a bad dream isn't it?"

"I'm afraid not, honey," Buffy said, putting the mug on the table beside her bed and sitting beside Willow. She moved her hand to Willow's face, brushing away a tear as she said, "You need a shoulder?"

"I just can't believe that she's dead," Willow whispered, a fresh crop of tears entering her green eyes.

"Come here," Buffy said, her arms going around Willow in a hug. She felt the redhead settle her head on her shoulder, her shirt quickly growing damp from tears. "I'm so sorry. I should have done something."

"Not your fault," Willow said, resting her cheek against Buffy's shoulder as her eyes looked towards the window. "Buffy, you can't blame yourself for every death that happens."

"I'm the slayer, Willow. I should have known something was wrong with her. I should have confronted her or done something," Buffy said, her hand smoothing Willow's hair.

"You? This is more my fault than anyone else's. No. It's no one's fault. It happened. She's dead. No amount of guilt or accusations will bring her back. She wouldn't want us to blame ourselves," Willow said softly, sighing again. She pulled back, looking at her friend, "I'm sorry I was so nutty last night. I completely broke down."

"I would have been worse," Buffy said, smiling softly. "Besides, Spike and I were there to keep you together. You didn't fall apart."

"He was so good with me last night," Willow said, her tone slightly surprised. "He was so caring, he listened and was comforting. I don't know what I might have done if he hadn't been there."

"I think I'm been very unfair to him," Buffy admitted quietly. "I thought about it last night, on my way back to the magic shop. He's been trying to help and I've been such a bitch to him. I've decided to do better though. Try to include him more. I think he must be lonely."

"Are you feeling all right?" Willow asked, smiling slightly. "You actually care if Spike is lonely?"

"Am I really that bad?" Buffy asked softly, staring into Willow's eyes for an honest answer.

"Buffy, you're a slayer. He's a vampire. I don't think you're meant to get along and have tea parties," Willow said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I think that it is extremely mature of you to realize you might have been wrong in dealing with him and plan to make amends, of sorts."

"I mean, am I really such a bitch? I know I tend to be a bit selfish. Only child and being the slayer and everything...I don't know, sometimes I stop and wonder if I know who I really am," the blonde confessed quietly.

"I understand that," Willow said, smiling as she ruffled Buffy's hair. "You're Buffy Summers, my best friend. Do you really need to know anymore than that?"

Buffy laughed softly, "You know, you're the one that lost someone you loved. You shouldn't be trying to cheer me up, I should be the one taking your mind off of it."

"I've cried so much the last day that I don't think there's anything left," Willow said. "Like I said, Tara wouldn't want me to be this unhappy. It hurts, knowing that she's gone, but we'd been drifting apart the last few weeks and I know I should be more upset. I feel so guilty for *not* being able to cry anymore than I have."

"Give it time, Wills. You were a wreck last night if that helps," Buffy said, moving her forehead against Willow's. "You're so very strong, but if you need me, I'm right here with two rather strong shoulders. You can take your pick which one to use."

"I love you, Buffy," Willow said, smiling as she hugged her best friend.

"Love you too, Willow," Buffy said softly, tightening her hold on the redhead before pulling back. "Why don't you drink your coffee before it gets cold then we can get dressed and find Giles."

"OK," Willow said, wiping the tears from her face as she picked up the coffee mug and took a sip.

********************

Anya left the magic shop, locking the door behind her. She glanced at the sky, noticing that it was getting dark earlier for some reason. Either that, or she was just late closing the store. She had stayed later than usual tonight, not really wanting to go back to the apartment. She was really at a loss on how to behave. Tara was dead. She hadn't really known the witch as anything except Willow's girlfriend, but she guessed that they had been friends. She was sad that the girl was dead, hating to realize that any of them could have died in her place. That morning she had woken up and gone in to work, not giving much thought to the fact that Tara was dead. Only when she had opened the store had she taken a minute to reflect on the past twenty-four hours. Giles had come by, spending most of the day in his office. They had spoken, neither mentioning Tara except an inquiry as to whether Willow was doing well.

Anya shook her head, wondering she was supposed to be more upset. She hadn't even cried. Willow had cried enough for all of them. She supposed she might be considered heartless, but she just wasn't used to dealing with death. She stopped beside her car, searching her pockets for her keys. Damn it, she was sure she had put them in her pocket. She sighed, leaning against the hood as she opened her bag. A frown crossed her pretty face as she dug into the dark depths, deciding that she would have to buy a smaller purse. With a smile of triumph, she held up her key ring. She let her purse fall back as she stood up straight. She pushed the key into the lock, catching her breath sharply when a hand covered her hand as she turned the key.

"Out rather late, pet."

Anya closed her eyes briefly at the familiar voice, trying to calm her racing heart. She couldn't show fear, no matter how frightened she was. She calmly said, "I just off of work. What brings you here Spike?"

She heard his voice in her right ear as he said, "You."

She pulled her hand away from his, moving away her car as she looked at him, "Why are you here?"

"Ah, luv, I don't plan on killing you if that's what you're thinking," he said, laughing softly in amusement. "If I had wanted you dead, I'd have killed you already."

Anya nodded, not surprised by his words, "The implant doesn't work anymore."

Spike smiled, a wicked gleam entering his eyes, "Is that a question? I think we both know the answer to that one."

"How?" she asked, wondering she had survived over a thousand years just to end up dead at the hands of a vampire.

"Don't know, don't care," he said with a shrug as he looked at her. He smiled, "I knew you were on to me last night. What gave it away?"

She shrugged this time, "I just knew."

"You know that this brings up a small problem, don't you?" he asked with a wry smile. "You see, I didn't plan on telling anyone about my good fortune. Your figuring it out, well that changes things."

"I won't tell anyone," Anya said, watching him wearily. She knew he was going to kill her. Her last moments on earth would be spent verbally sparring with her killer. How she wished she had never come to Sunnydale. Thinking of Xander and what he had made her feel over the last year, she sighed in regret. She wouldn't have given that up for anything.

Spike laughed, "Do you really think that I'll trust you? Just accept that you won't mention the implant malfunction to the moron, that the slayer won't find out and that I won't have to kill the bitch to keep her away from me."

"What would it gain me for them to find out? If they don't know, we all stay alive. If I tell, we'd all end up dead," Anya pointed out.

"If I kill you, no one ever finds out," he said with a slow smile.

"Please don't," she whispered, hating that she had reduced herself to begging, but knowing that she wasn't ready to die.

Spike shook his head as he looked at the pavement. Looking back at her, he sighed, "Don't do that. You're too good for that."

She felt wetness on her cheeks as she wondered if there was any way she could possibly escape. He'd have her in seconds if she tried.

"I'm going to let you in on a secret," he said quietly.

"What secret?" she asked, trying to remember if she had told Xander that she loved him that morning.

"I'm not going to kill you," he said, watching as disbelief crossed her face.

"You believe that I won't tell them?" she asked, not trusting him at all.

Spike shook his head, "Doesn't matter. I plan on telling them myself in the future. Can't keep it a secret forever, can I?"

"You're going to go to Buffy and tell her that the implant isn't working, that you can kill anyone that you want, and you really expect her to take that and not try to kill you?" Anya said, shaking her head. "You're playing the wrong girl, Spike. I've been around too long. What are you planning?"

"Damn it, I'm not planning anything," he said, scowling. "Is that really so hard to believe? I'd have thought you'd be the first to know that people can change."

"Some people can," she said, shaking her head. "You? Sorry, I don't see it happening. You have to have some agenda in mind."

"Not all agendas are evil," he said, wondering why he was defending himself. He should have just drained her and left her in the parking lot. No, instead he was trying to convince her that he was on their side despite being normal again. Truth was, he liked the ex-demon. He rather admired her in some ways. And she'd figured him out. Just by looking at him, within an hour, she had known. He could respect that.

"Yours usually are," she said, knowing enough about his history from books and from his own mouth to know that much.

"Can't you just forget for awhile?" he asked, knowing there was no use in arguing with her.

"Did you kill Tara?" Anya asked, speaking her suspicions aloud.

He snorted, "Why would I have killed her? If I had planned on killing anyone, it sure as hell wouldn't have been that weak little creature."

"Not even for Willow?" Anya asked, watching him closely. Just as she suspected, his eyes changed slightly at the mention of the redhead.

"Not even for Willow," he said softly, raking a hand through his hair. "Did you see how upset she is? I would never think of putting her through the hell of losing someone she loves."

"It just seems a bit coincidental that you lose the chip and then she turns up dead with her neck ripped open," Anya said.

He shrugged, "This is the Hellmouth. What can I say? I went out for a walk and found the little witch dead."

"You really care about her, don't you?" Anya whispered, not believing that she had never noticed his affection for Willow before.

"I'd do anything for her," he replied, looking at Anya's car as he realized that he was speaking the truth.

"Even work with the slayer?" Anya asked, waiting for his reaction.

Instead of a snarl, she watched him shrug and say, "Even work with that bitch."

"If she finds out that the implant is faulty," Anya started, "she'll never trust you."

"Do you think that I don't know that?" he asked, almost growling. "Why do you think that I haven't said anything? None of them would trust me. Hell, that blonde bitch would stake me without even giving me a chance."

"Not if she trusted you before she found out," Anya said quietly, her mind thinking rapidly. "It's too soon for Willow. Tara's not even buried yet."

"I know that," Spike said, leaning against the car. "I never expected to have this chance. I figured it would take forever before the little witch was out of her life. Now, with the twit getting herself killed, well, it certainly changes things. Willow needs a friend, not a new lover."

"Can you be that? Can you be a friend?" Anya asked, her fear for her life having slowly faded as they had talked.

"I can be anything that she needs," Spike said, looking at the girl. "If she finds out that the implant has stopped working, I'll never get a chance with her. I'd go back to being a threat, no matter how I've changed."

Anya sighed, not sure if she was making the right choice but knowing that Spike seemed sincere. She said, "I won't tell anyone as long as I don't think it needs to be known. The first time I start to believe you're playing some twisted game with my friends, I'll not only tell them, I'll help them destroy you."

"Deal," he said, slowly smiling as she agreed to keep his secret. He moved away from her car, twisting the key and unlocking the door then tossing the keys to her. With a smile he said, "You'd better get home. You should know better than to be out after dark. Tons of nasty things lurking in the shadows."

"Do you need a ride?" she asked, wiping her drying tears with the back of her hand. "I drive by Buffy's house on my home. That's where Willow is staying, isn't it?"

He nodded, looking at the sky before he answered, "If you wouldn't mind dropping me off there, a ride would be nice. I'd like to check on her."

Anya just smiled as she got into the car, unlocking the passenger door for Spike. Turning the car on, she pulled onto the street and headed towards the slayer's house.

********************

Willow closed her eyes as she stood beside the river. She listened to the soft sound of running water, listened to the wind blowing the leaves above her head. She stood in silence for several minutes, just enjoying the solitude of this moment. Finally, knowing that she had postponed it as long as she could, she opened her eyes. She wasn't crying, but a lone tear slid down her cheek. This had been one of her and Tara's favorite spots. They would often sit by the river and practice spells or just simply enjoy being with each other. She blushed faintly as she remembered one evening when they had been carried away with their passion, making love under a full moon. It was their special place.

Now, it would be Tara's final resting place. Willow held the urn close to her as she studied the river. It had been four days since Tara's death. It had taken some hacking to get Tara's remains released to her, but she knew that Tara's family had no interest in their daughter. Besides, she had no way of contacting them. She had been rather brave, if she did say so herself. She had made the arrangements for Tara to be cremated, knowing from several conversations with her lover that that was what she would have preferred. Willow heard a noise behind her and turned her head slightly, smiling softly at the blondes standing there watching her, one with a worried statement the other with a sad look in his blue eyes.

Buffy and Spike. Her support system. Strange enough, both had been wonderful over the last few days. She had been staying with Buffy and Joyce, not really wanting to be home alone just yet. Spike had been over every night since finding Tara's body, sitting with her or walking with her or pretty much doing whatever she wanted to do. He had started going on patrols with Buffy, seeming to realize that she was worried for her friend's safety more so now that she had lost someone so close to her. It was rather comforting that he seemed to understand her that well. Buffy had been very tolerant of the vampire, letting him stay over because he seemed to care about Willow. If she hadn't had them, Willow wasn't sure she would have made it through.

"Do you need anything, Willow?" Buffy asked softly, not sure if she should be standing back where she was or if she should be beside Willow, helping her best friend deal with the loss of her lover. She had no idea how to react.

"I almost hate to let her go," Willow said quietly. "I mean, I know she's gone. It just seems so final when I empty this urn into the river. I guess I just hate letting her go."

"Pet," Spike moved towards her. He stood behind her, his arm going around her waist. He felt her lean against him, heard her soft sigh as she rested her head against his chest.

Buffy followed Spike towards Willow. She stood beside her friend, her hazel eyes looking at Willow and Spike. He was being so gentle with the redhead. It still surprised her at how he had changed without any of them even realizing it. He was wonderful with Willow. He seemed to know how to offer her the comfort she needed without being a pest. She wished she knew how. She didn't want to smother Willow, but she hated seeing her best friend so sad. It hurt her to see Willow so upset and not be able to do anything to take away the pain. All she could do was be there when Willow needed her.

Willow felt Spike's arm around her waist. She sighed, glad that he and Buffy had insisted on coming with her. She didn't know if she could have made it without just falling to the ground and crying. They gave her strength that she so desperately needed. She moved forward towards the edge of the river. Spike stayed with her, his hand resting on her stomach in a comforting grasp. Willow reached out her left hand, feeling Buffy take it. She squeezed it as she lifted the urn. It was heavier than she had remembered, her hand shaking as she held it. She felt Spike's hand move over hers, holding her steady as she turned the urn over, dumping Tara's ashes into the river.

When the last of the ashes had fallen into the river, Willow collapsed back against Spike. She felt tears running silently down her cheeks as her hand fell back, the urn slipping from her grasp and onto the ground. She closed her eyes, feeling Buffy tighten her hold on her hand as they all stood in silence, just listening to the river.

********************

Willow leaned against Spike, her head on his chest. They were sitting underneath a tree beside the river. She hadn't felt like leaving yet. It seemed so final. Tara's ashes had been spread. Once she left, the book would be closed on that chapter in her life. She knew that she would never forget Tara, never forget the love that they had shared, but she wasn't stupid. With time, the hurt would fade. Tara would become a distant memory. An image that made her smile yet also made her sad. She knew that Tara would not want her to be sad, to be unhappy. But, she couldn't just smile and act as if nothing had happened. Her lover had died. It hurt.

Buffy sat beside Spike and Willow, the tree behind her back. She looked at the river, thinking how brave Willow was. She knew that she was the slayer, that she had all this power that she didn't even comprehend, but deep down, she was scared. It was easy to seem courageous when you had something akin to superpowers. Compared to Willow, she was so weak. There were so many times that she would have simply given up if it hadn't been for her best friend. Now, when Willow was hurting so badly, she didn't know what to do to make it all better. She was trying, though. She had accepted Spike, seeing that he seemed to give Willow something that the redhead needed. She still didn't trust him, not completely, but he was good for Willow. Willow had been staying with her since they had found Tara, not able to handle being alone in an empty house. Buffy looked at her friend, watching the silent tears slide down her pretty face. She caught Willow's hand, squeezing it as she let Willow know that she wasn't alone.

Spike rested his cheek against Willow's hair, his fingers moving slowly along her palm. His shirt was wet from her tears, the material sticking to his chest. He felt the slayer move beside them, his eyes glancing down and seeing her hand find Willow's free one. He looked at the blonde, his eyes narrowing as he saw her watching Willow, her hazel eyes confused. He didn't trust Buffy. For some reason, she had opened her home to him. Not two weeks before, she had accused him of having a crush on her. Now, she was letting him console her best friend as if he were part of their group. She was either playing some weird game or she cared for Willow so much that she could forget that he was an enemy just to keep the redhead happy. Her playing a game would be easier than dealing with her love for Willow.

He had killed Tara without a second thought, knowing that he could get close to Willow with her out of the way. Also, she was easy to play, using her doubts against her to get rid of that damn chip. He hadn't liked the girl, had no guilt for killing her. True, he felt bad for putting Willow through her death. He had hoped that she would have lost any feeling for the girl before he had to kill her. As it was, he'd been forced into playing his card a bit earlier than planned. In the end, it had worked out perfectly. He had been given the chance to help Willow through her death, feeling only a slight pang of guilt for murdering the girl. He hadn't counted on the depths of Buffy's friendship or on the self centered little bitch realizing there was someone else in the world long enough to try to console Willow. Trust her to make him change his plans, again. Reluctantly, he had to admit that she had been good with Willow, able to be there for the redhead when he was forced to remain hidden from the sun. Between the two of them, Willow had twenty-four hour support.

He rested his head back against Willow, enjoying the warmth of her hand in his. Anya knew that the chip was no longer working. Surprisingly, the ex-demon had kept his secret. He knew that she would not tell anyone, that she was leaving it up to him to be truthful. And he would, one day. When he knew without a doubt that she loved him, that she would be with him regardless of any consequence. Until then, he would wait. He would give her some time to grieve for her little witch, not wanting to rush her or make her suspicious. But, soon, he would set his plan in motion. He would seduce his red haired goddess, make her realize that she loved him and needed him. Then, finally, they could begin their lives together.

********************

"Will Spike be joining us tonight?" Joyce asked as she entered the living room.

"I don't know," Willow said, looking at her best friend's mother and shrugging.

Buffy snorted, "He's been here every night for the last two weeks, Mom. I'd guess tonight will be no different."

"I assumed but thought I'd ask anyway," Joyce said with a small smile. "I'll get a bag of blood ready for him. Good God. Did I just casually mention preparing blood for a dinner guest?"

Willow smiled, "Scary, isn't it?"

"I'm proud of you, Mom," Buffy said with a large smile. She looked at Willow as her mother went back into the kitchen, "So, what are we doing tonight?"

"I have to finish this chapter for history. After that, I hadn't thought about it," Willow said.

"I have to patrol after dinner. Think you'll be done with the reading by the time I get back?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy, you don't have to entertain me every night," Willow said, shaking her head. It had been a little over two weeks since Tara had died. She had spent that night at Buffy's and hadn't left. For the first couple of days, she hadn't want to. When she had finally stopped crying and realized she must be imposing, Buffy had put her foot down and insisted that Willow stay. Joyce had joined her daughter in persuading Willow to stay. When faced with going to an empty house and being alone or staying where she was loved and cared for, there hadn't been much choice. Willow had officially moved in the next day, both Buffy and Spike helping her move into the spare room next door to Buffy. Every night, Spike would come over and eat with the family then they'd usually go with Buffy on patrol and the rest of the evening would be determined. They had met Anya and Xander for drinks and music. They'd go back to the house and watch TV. They'd sit in the park and just enjoy the silence. There were some times that Buffy would patrol alone or that Spike would go with her, usually only when Willow had homework or was helping Giles at the store. She didn't want to seem rude but it was almost suffocating at times.

"You don't want me here?" Buffy asked, looking at the table as a hurt look crossed her face.

Willow felt herself smiling, "I want you here. Are you sure you don't have something you need to be doing?"

Buffy looked at her in relief and smiled, "Nope. Can't think of a thing. You want to call Xander and Anya? See if they want to go to the Bronze and listen to some music."

"Let's wait and talk to Spike," Willow suggested.

Buffy rolled her eyes, "He won't care what we do as long as he's part of it. Besides, I thought you didn't know if he'd even be over."

"I don't," she said, frowning.

"Let me have that," Buffy said, taking Willow's book. "I'll read to you until Mom finishes dinner or Spike gets here, whichever happens first."

"Buffy, give me my book back," Willow said, laughing as she reached for the history book.

"All studying and no laughing makes Willow a dull girl," Buffy said loftily as she flipped through the pages and avoided Willow grabbing it back.

"Buffy," Willow whined, "I have to finish that damn chapter or we can't do anything tonight."

"Watch the language," Buffy warned, smiling. She heard the front door open and glanced back, seeing Spike enter the house.

"What's going on, pets?" Spike asked, raising a brow as he saw Willow trying to get something from Buffy.

"She's taken my book," Willow said.

"Willow is trying to do homework on a Friday night," Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "I'm trying to prevent her from being dull."

"Toss it to me, slayer," he said, smiling as she threw him the book. He looked at Willow and shrugged, "Sorry, luv. I'm with the slayer on this. It's Friday night. No homework."

"Traitor," Willow stuck her tongue out at them both as she stood and started for the kitchen. "Fine. I'll see if Joyce needs any help."

Spike put the book down and followed her, greeting Joyce and smiling when he saw that she had a mug ready to heat up for him.

********************

Buffy tossed the stake in the air, turning and catching it behind her back. She smiled, laughing slightly as she tossed it again, catching this one over her head. She continued to walk, playing with the wooden stake. She had left Willow and Spike with her mother, planning a quick patrol before returning to them. She smiled as she remembered the scene she had left. Willow had been curled up on the couch with her book, laying against Spike who had been watching some old game show reruns with her Mother. She hated to admit it, but she had been very unfair to Spike. It seemed that she had never really known him. He seemed to be a different person around Willow, taking care of the redhead and just being a good friend.

Strangely enough, he was also becoming a friend to her. Well, friend might not be the right word, but they were no longer enemies. She was comfortable around him, beginning to slowly trust him as time passed. He seemed to really care about Willow. In fact, lately she had begun to realize exactly what his feelings for the redhead might be. At the moment, she wasn't worried about his crush on her redhead. Willow was still feeling the loss of Tara and was in no way interested in moving on. Buffy wasn't sure if Willow would ever be interested in Spike in that way, but she had to remember the girl's defense of the vampire. Yeah, she believed that Willow might return Spike's interest once she was over Tara. She frowned, not sure if she liked that.

Before she could give it much more thought, she heard something behind her. She became cautious, her hand getting a tighter grip on the stake. She waited until she heard the footsteps come closer before turning, the stake raised. Startled, she lowered her hand, "Riley?"

"You do remember my name," he said quietly, his eyes looking over her.

She laughed softly, her free hand running through her hair, "Of course I remember you, silly."

"I wasn't sure. I mean, it's been weeks," he said.

"I've been busy," she defended, leaning against a tombstone.

"Too busy to call?"

"I told you about Tara," she said, frowning. "I've called."

"Once, Buffy," he said, shaking his head. "Nearly three weeks and I heard from you one time. One phone call."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I've been helping Willow."

"I'm her friend too," Riley said. "I could have helped."

Buffy shook her head, "You don't get it. She's my best friend. I've hardly been there for her since senior year. I have to be there for her now."

"No, I don't get it," he said in an annoyed tone. "I'd think that Willow would want her friends around at a time like this."

"She has her friends," Buffy said sharply. "Spike and I have been with her every day since Tara's death. Anya and Xander have visited several times. You know where I live. If you'd wanted to see her, you could have come over."

"I didn't feel like I was wanted," he said, looking away from her pretty face. "I haven't felt wanted in weeks. Have you even missed me?"

"Yes, of course," she said, feeling slightly guilty. In all truth, she hadn't given him much thought. "I told you, I've just been busy with Willow."

"Buffy, I didn't come here to fight," he said suddenly, seeing her getting defensive.

"Sure seems that way to me," she muttered, frowning at him. "Why did you come here then?"

"So I'd know," he said, nodding.

"Know what?" she asked, studying him.

"I'm leaving, Buffy. Tonight, I'm getting on a plane and leaving Sunnydale. I wanted to know that I was making the right decision," he explained. "You don't love me. It's time for me to move on."

"I do love you," she said, sighing as she saw the look in his eyes. "You're leaving regardless of what I say, aren't you? Because I haven't called you the last couple of weeks?"

"It's more than that, Buffy. We're not working anymore," he said, shaking his head. "You know it. You have to see that. Hell, you'd rather be with Willow than me. That isn't a healthy relationship. I do love you, Buffy."

"Good luck, Riley," she said softly, feeling tears in her eyes. She knew there was no use arguing with him. "Be safe."

"It's been a wild ride, slayer," he said with a soft smile. Leaning forward, he kissed her gently before pulling away.

"I love you, Riley," she said softly, watching him smile at her and then turn and walk away. She waited until he had left her sight before she let the tears fall, sliding to the ground as she realized that she had just lost Riley.

********************

Willow sighed in contentment as she moved slightly. She tucked her feet underneath her legs and closed her eyes, her head resting on Spike's chest. His arm was on the bench behind her, his fingers playing with the end of her hair. Buffy was out patrolling and she and Spike had just come back from a movie. She still found it a bit hard to believe that William the Bloody had just taken her to see some silly little romantic comedy and had only complained through half the movie instead of the entire thing. He had surprised her that evening, suggesting a movie. It had been almost cute the way he had mentioned it, his eyes looking around without focusing on her face. He had looked at her in surprise when she had accepted. She didn't really understand why he was surprised. They were friends. Why shouldn't she go to a movie with him? She and Buffy went to movies. Heck, he'd even been to movies with both of them the last weeks. And then he had smiled at her and her heart had stopped. He'd looked so happy from her simply saying yes. That smile had done wonders in confusing her completely.

She had not enjoyed the movie. Could not even remember the stars much less the plot. She had been too busy thinking about that smile and noticing his closeness in the seat beside her. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about Spike like that, not in an aware, attracted sort of way. Tara hadn't even been dead a month and here she was having naughty day dreams about Spike. She felt guilty. As if she hadn't mourned for Tara long enough. She also felt aroused, looking at Spike with newly opened eyes. She had thought back over the last months, long before Tara had died. She had begun to realize that Spike might have feelings for her. She knew it was stupid to think anyone like Spike would be attracted to her, might love her. Buffy had been convinced that he had a crush on her. Now she was acting the same way as the slayer. Believing things that weren't there. Yet, there was still a nagging in her head that she wasn't crazy. That Spike cared about her.

Which brought her back to the guilt for thinking about someone so soon after her lover had been killed. A part of her mind argued that she and Tara had broken up before her lover had died. That the guilt she felt now was because she had not been there to save the girl, to keep her alive. Another part reminded her just how special her relationship with Tara had been. That she wasn't ready to open herself up to another relationship and risk the same pain and hurt that she had felt in the end. And still another part told her that Tara would not want her to feel guilty or to blame herself or to put her life on hold. That she might be giving up a chance at happiness with Spike. And yet another part just told her she had too many voices in her head and that she needed to see a doctor before she went crazy.

Willow sighed, her eyes opening as she looked at Buffy's front yard. It was quiet tonight. They were sitting on the porch swing, a comfortable silence surrounding them as they simply enjoyed the night. It was strange in a way to her to think that Spike might be her happily ever after. Not even two years before, he had been trying to kill her. No, she amended mentally, to turn her. Now, he was being a fantastic friend and consoling her after Tara's death. She knew, in her heart, that it was the implant. If he didn't have it anymore, he'd have already left Sunnydale after killing them all. She couldn't stop the stray thought from entering her mind. Would he still give her a choice if the time came? He had mentioned to her once that he had never planned on listening to her answer. He had been going to turn her in her room that night. She had never admitted that a part of her wish he had been able to. That was a part of her that she usually successfully ignored. Now, laying here against him with his hand gently brushing her hair, she was able to think of nothing else except being with him for eternity.

Spike couldn't keep the smile off of his face. He thought he had blown it earlier when he had asked her to the movie. It had seemed too much like a date, something he didn't think she was ready for yet. He could have been knocked over when she had smiled shyly and said yes, the word feeling him enough happiness to permanently rid Peaches of that blasted soul. One word and he was a lovesick puppy. He would have been disgusted had it not been Willow that caused the emotions. She was his red-haired Goddess. She was going to be his eternal mate. He had noticed her silence at the movie, could read her face like a book after spending a year studying it. She was lost in her thoughts. He had caught her looking at him several times with a strange statement, as if she was trying to figure something out. Now, sitting here on the slayer's porch with her in his arms, it seemed like a dream. He hated to move for fear of ruining it, of reminding himself that she was still in love with that annoying little witch no matter how dead or buried the bitch was, of reminding him that patience was a virtue and that for her he would wait. For now, he was content to hold her close. The smile faded from his face as he smelled someone familiar. Oh goodie, his lips twisted in a grimace, the slayer was home.

********************

"Buffy?" Willow caught sight of her friend and hastily sat up, noticing that Spike's arm remained around her shoulders. With her new position, the leather of his coat was rubbing against the back of her neck. She cursed the shot of arousal that spread over her, wondering when she had become so perverted.

"Hey guys," Buffy gave them both a weak smile as she stopped on the second stair of her porch. She leaned her head against the rail, her hazel eyes looking over them. She didn't miss anything, from Spike's arm around Willow's shoulder to Willow's mussed hair to the slight flush that crossed her best friend's face.

"You've been crying," Willow said softly, recognizing the signs.

"Something happen, slayer?" Spike asked curiously as his thumb moved over Willow's shoulder.

She sighed, smiling wryly, "You could say that."

"Are you hurt?" Willow demanded, not seeing any visible signs of injury.

"No, not really," Buffy said, shaking her head. "I wasn't attacked, Willow. Patrol was nice and quiet, a bit boring but that's become the norm."

"No worthy foe, eh slayer?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.

"None as good as you, Spikey," she shot back before looking at Willow and smiled guiltily. "Sorry, Wills."

"Oh no, you two go ahead and argue. Don't tell me what had you so upset you were crying!" Willow said, irritation making her raise her voice slightly.

"Tell her why you were crying," Spike said, glaring at Buffy for ruining a rather perfect evening.

"I wasn't crying," Buffy denied softly, feeling weird letting Spike see her so vulnerable. She felt rather weak and powerless at the moment. Riley's leaving had hurt her more than she had imagined.

"Buffy," Willow warned, standing and pulling the slayer to sit beside her, causing her to move closer to Spike. "Talk to me."

"I saw Riley," Buffy said quietly, her hazel eyes moving to look at the empty street.

"Did he say something?" Willow asked, angry at the man for hurting her friend. "I can smack him around for you."

Buffy laughed softly, smiling wryly, "Might be a little hard. I don't know where he is."

"What?" Willow asked, glancing at Spike and seeing him looking at the street, his hand moving along her back reassuringly though he appeared to be paying no attention.

"He found me on patrol to tell me that he loved me, that he doesn't believe that I love him, that he was leaving Sunnydale tonight and that what we had was fun but that it was over," Buffy said.

"Oh," Willow said, not sure what to say. She couldn't tell what Buffy's reaction was so she didn't know if I'm sorry was appropriate or if good riddance would be better. She took Buffy's hand and squeezed, giving her best friend a smile as she laid her head on her shoulder and whispered, "We love you, Buffy."

Buffy smiled, resting her cheek against Willow's head as they both studied the empty street. Spike glanced at the two, jealous of the friendship and the bond that existed between the two, angry that Buffy had ruined his and Willow's night together, and begrudgingly relieved that Willow had someone that cared about her almost as much as he did that could be with her to protect her when he couldn't. He looked back at the street, his hand continuing to stroke Willow's back as a comfortable silence again surrounded them.

********************

Willow looked up when she heard the sound of rustling paper. She saw Giles looking into space with an odd statement on his face. Her green eyes moved from the paper to the envelope he was currently tapping on the table. "Bad news?"

"Hmm?" he looked at her and smiled, "No, sorry. I'm just a bit surprised."

"Can I be nosy and ask?" she asked with a smile.

"It's from an old colleague from the council," he elaborated, a thoughtful statement in his eyes.

"This is worse than pulling teeth," she laughed softly, closing her book. "Giles, what is it?"

"He's asked me to come to London to help them, to rejoin the council," Giles explained.

"Move there?" she frowned.

"No, not permanently," he looked at the letter. "They need my help for a few months, at the most."

"Are you going to go? I thought you didn't like the council," she said, a bit confused that he appeared interested in the idea.

"I don't like the archaic rules that they follow, Willow, but I believe they have a great purpose," he said. "I'm not yet sure how I will answer his request. Things are rather calm at the moment, but it is always such a tentative balance in Sunnydale."

"You want to go," she said softly, smiling, "I kind of understand. It's been kind of boring lately. With Spike helping Buffy, there's not a lot for the rest of us to do. If it would only be for a short time, I say go for it."

"Go for what?" Buffy asked as she and Spike came into the magic store. She sat down on the sofa beside Willow, stretching as her hazel eyes looked at the dirt stains on the knees of her jeans.

"Missed you tonight, Red," Spike said as he sat on the other side of Willow, close enough to feel her but not close enough to bother her. It was getting more difficult, being with her yet not having her. It had been several months since Tara had died. He'd been rid of the chip for what seemed like ages. Yet, he was still patiently waiting for Willow to come to him. He'd thought he hit a snag, two weeks ago when the slayer lost her little boy toy. As it was, it had actually made Willow depend on him a bit more. He was by no means a patient man and the past months had him rather tense. Things were going according to plan, though. Even the small surprises had only changed things, not ruined them. She was growing closer to him, falling in love with him. He knew that it wouldn't be much longer until she felt the same for him as he felt for her. Well, minus the obsessive behavior maybe.

"Really?" she smiled at him, looking at the floor before looking back at Giles. She saw that he clearly wasn't in a sharing mood concerning his offer to go to London so she said, "I was telling Giles that I think I'd like to go out for dinner soon. You know, dress up and go to somewhere kind of nice. It's been ages since I've eaten in a real restaurant."

Spike's eyes narrowed as he saw that she was clearly lying. No, not lying, just not telling them the truth. He gave her a smile as he said, "I can take you out any night that you want, luv."

"Yeah, we can make it an event," Buffy said. "Since Mom went to Buenos Aires, fast food has started to get tiresome."

"It has, hasn't it?" Willow smiled. "When does Joyce get back?"

Buffy shrugged, "I don't know. First, she starts feeling sick. Then, she's flying across the world to discover some artist. I doubt she comes back until she finds something that makes her happy."

"Is everything going well in her absence?" Giles asked his slayer.

"Yeah. Since Spike took over the spare room to keep an eye on us and to scare away all the baddies," Buffy said with a smile, "no one has tried anything at all."

"And you're certain it is no trouble, staying with them until Joyce returns?" Giles asked the vampire, relieved that there was someone looking out for the girls.

"It's nothing," Spike assured them, his eyes moving to Willow. "Would like to go get some dinner, Red?"

"Maybe we can try that new cafe that opened up last week," Buffy suggested.

"Sure, that would be great," Willow said, taking Spike's hand as he pulled her to her feet. She looked at Giles and smiled, "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Giles."

He nodded, watching the three leave. By the time the door had shut, his mind was made up. He would go to London where he was needed.

********************

"How was patrol tonight?" Willow asked after the three of them had placed their drink orders.

"Slow," Buffy said, making a face. "Not even any newbies to defang."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Willow laughed.

"The slayer likes to fight," Spike said, looking at the menu. "She gets a wee bit frustrated when there's no one to kill."

"Thank you Dr. Spike," Buffy said with a roll of her hazel eyes.

"Sorry, luv. I'm not role playing with you," Spike said before winking at a giggling Willow, "Red, on the other hand, can play doctor with me anytime she wants."

"There will be none of that," Willow smiled, "besides, I'd probably have to sue you for malpractice. I doubt you play by the rules."

"You never have fun when you play by the rules," Spike said with a hint of promise in his voice.

"Ahem," Buffy cleared her throat, frowning as Willow glanced at her then looked back at Spike. "Enough flirting for now. Wills, what are you ordering?"

"I don't know yet. What sounds good?" Willow asked as she felt heat spread over her face. She'd been caught flirting again. Tara hadn't been gone four months and here she was blatantly flirting. Don't go there, she cautioned herself before she focused on the menu.

Spike looked at Buffy as his eyes narrowed, hating that she was always around now. He could tolerate her for Willow's sake, for now, but this went beyond tolerance. He could never get a moment alone with Willow anymore. How was he supposed to seduce Willow into wanting him when the damn slayer was constantly around? Daft bitch didn't seem to realize that he was doing her a favor, allowing her a friendship with Willow. She should realize her place and step down, content to be alive. If he didn't know that it was too soon for Willow to trust him and to openly love him, he'd have taken care of the slayer months ago. In a way, though, he needed her presence in Willow's life at the moment. She was able to take care of Willow when he couldn't. Until she was truly his, body and heart and soul, he had to let the damn slayer live.

He glanced at the table, collecting his thoughts. Don't blow it, Spike my boy. You've got it all planned. Things are working perfectly. You will not let some jealous bitch ruin it all. The witch is dead. Slayer's Mom is out of the way. The watcher is the next to go. Piece by piece it's all falling into place. One stupid, rash move can make it all fall down. All that work for nothing. He looked back up, knowing that he had Willow. If she discovered the truth, she would run and push him away but he could still force her into loving him. And she could very well become what Drusilla had been. No, there would be no forcing. She would come to him willingly, ask him to love her for eternity. With resolve, he looked at Buffy and gave her a half smile, "What do you think I should order, slayer?"

"Willow and I could split a shrimp Caesar salad," Buffy said, knowing that in the past few weeks of eating out with Spike that he would order something for her and Willow to snack on along with their own food so that it would appear he had eaten.

"Is that good for you, pet?" he asked Willow, his voice softening as she smiled at him.

"Salad is always good," she declared before verbally debating the choices for her own meal, laughing as Buffy and Spike joined her in the debate, adding their own opinions.

********************

"You're going then," Willow said with a soft smile.

"Yes," Giles nodded, looking at the redhead. "I feel that it is a good time, plus, quite honestly, I could use a bit of a vacation."

"I understand," she laughed. "You're happy, then?"

"Not happy to be leaving Sunnydale, but I must admit that I'm a bit excited," he smiled sheepishly. "The last year or so, it seems as if I haven't been needed here. Between you and Buffy and the others, now Spike, well, I've been rather lost."

"We do need you, Giles," she said, hoping that he had no doubts to his place in their lives.

"As a father," he smiled, "which is a true honor, Willow. I'm very proud of all of you. I've watched you children mature and grow up before my eyes. In many ways, I feel as if I *am* your father."

"You know that we love you," Willow said, "we'll support whatever you decide to do. It will be a change, not having you here. But, you'd be back, right?"

"I will be back, Willow," he assured her, seeing the difficulty she was having with his news. "It will only be for a few months. I doubt you'll even realize that I'm gone."

"I doubt that," she smiled weakly, "when are you telling the others?"

"Tonight," he sighed. "I leave tomorrow. I asked you to come by here for a reason, Willow."

"So soon?" she shook her head, "What reason?"

"I'd like for you to watch over things for me here," he said, "I'm letting Anya run the store for me, but I would like for you to keep an eye on it. I trust her, but I'd like to know she has someone to help if needed. And Buffy, could you help her?"

"You don't even have to ask that, Giles," Willow said. "Anya knows she can talk to me if she has any problems. And Buffy? Come on. I'd never leave her to do it all alone."

"I knew that," he said, "it just reassures me to hear it. This will be the first time that I've been away from all of you for any length of time. I must say, I'm excited to be working again, but I'm also a bit scared."

"You'll do great," she gave him a confident smile, "you can help the council and then get back home. I'll take care of them, Giles. You don't have to worry."

"I know that you will," he smiled. "I trust that you won't mention anything to Buffy or Spike about this?"

"My lips are sealed," she made a gesture of zipping. "Speaking of the terrible twosome, I'd better get going. I told them I'd meet them after patrol and I'd rather avoid the inquisition that would follow me being late."

"Run along. I'm just going to finish my packing," he said, waving her out the door before he turned to survey the apartment, trying to decide what he might need for the three months in England.

********************

"What?" Buffy demanded, looking at her watcher in shock.

"I'm going to London for a few months," Giles repeated.

"Why?" Buffy asked, frowning as she sat down on the couch next to Willow. She felt the redhead take her hand and squeeze.

"The council has asked for my assistance," Giles explained, giving her a smile. "It shall only be for three months, sooner if they dislike my methods of helping."

"And I get the store?" Anya said, clearly delighted by that idea. As an afterthought, she said, "Oh, we'll miss you of course. So, I'll be in charge?"

"I thought the council weren't our friends," Xander said, not really liking the idea of Giles being gone for so long.

"Xander, they asked for my help," Giles said patiently, seeing clearly that his family was upset at the news of his departure. All but Spike who didn't seem to care one way or the other, which wasn't very surprising. "I couldn't very well tell them no."

"Why not?" Buffy asked, thrusting her lower lip out as she glared at him, "It's real easy. Heck, you tell me no enough, you should be an expert at saying the word!"

"Buffy, breathe," Willow said softly, giving Giles a wry smile. She had warned him that it wouldn't be easy.

"But, Wills, he's going for three months. Three months!" Buffy said, making a face. "And I'm being a selfish brat, aren't I?"

"As if that's something new?" Spike asked dryly, smirking as the slayer stuck her tongue out at him.

Buffy turned to Giles and smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I don't want you to go. If that makes me selfish, tough. But, I understand why you want to go. Just promise me that you'll make them regret ever firing you."

"I'll do my best," Giles promised, giving her a smile. "I do have time before my flight leaves. May I suggest going out for a farewell dinner, my treat."

"No, our treat," Xander said, giving Giles a look that dared him to object. "You're the one leaving. Least we can do is pay."

"But you can use the money you were going to use for souvenirs," Anya decided with a smile.

"You knew, didn't you?" Buffy asked Willow as they got to their feet, preparing to leave. She gave the redhead an accusing look as she said, "You didn't seem at all surprised. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't my secret to tell," Willow said simply, smiling as Spike held her coat for her to put on.

"You should have prepared me for this," Buffy said, giving her friend a stern look. "But I'll forgive you this time."

"Thanks," Willow said, laughing as she shook her head at Buffy. "Come on, slayer. Let's go have a great farewell dinner so he makes it less than three months."

"I wonder if he needs any help," Spike mused, his eyes watching the others. "He could take the moron with him. Maybe leave him there."

"Be nice," Willow scolded, smacking his chest as she laughed, noticing that he grabbed her hand and moved it between them, keeping it firmly in his. A warm feeling passed over her at the gesture and she smiled, walking beside him as they followed the others.

********************

Willow sighed as she watched the plane disappear into the dark clouds above. She leaned against Spike, thankful for the support his body was giving her. If he hadn't been holding her, she wasn't sure if she'd be standing. Giles was really and truly gone. She knew it was only for three months, but she felt as if she would never see him again. She kept thinking that, once he got to London, he wouldn't want to come back. She knew that he had felt rather useless since high school. The store had done wonders in his attitude, but he still seemed rather aimless. Since deciding to go help the council, she'd seen glimpses of the old Giles, the man with the mission. He'd been alive again, in a way that he hadn't since defeating the mayor. If it meant his happiness, she could accept whatever he did. It didn't mean that it didn't hurt to see the man she considered a father going away for an indefinite amount of time.

She turned to face the others, seeing tears in Buffy's eyes and a sad look on Xander and Anya's face. She sighed as she said, "Well, that wasn't too bad."

"He'll be back," Buffy said, giving Willow a look before she asked softly, "Won't he?"

"I'm sure he will be," Willow said giving her friend a smile.

"I don't know," Xander said with a shrug, "he seemed pretty happy to be leaving this place. If I were him, I'd be glad to be outta here too. I just, I don't know. It didn't seem like he was leaving for a three-month trip. You know?"

"He said good-bye like he won't return," Anya said, understanding Xander's words. She hugged her fiance, not really sure what to say or do in a situation like this. She glanced at Spike and saw that he was silently listening, his arm around Willow's waist. She could tell that he was as left out as she was, having not known Giles for as long as the others and not really having the same nature of a relationship, the bond not as deep as the other three. In Spike's case, he just didn't care either way.

"We need to stop this," Willow said with a laugh. "He just left and we're already deciding that he won't come back. He's got three months. We'll just have to wait and see."

"Willow's right," Xander said with a smile at his oldest friend. "We've got plenty of time to worry later. Let's go."

"I need to go to the bathroom," Buffy said as she saw the women's room. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, saying, "I need to wash my face."

"Me too," Xander said, "it's a pretty long drive back. Anyone else need to go?"

"Come on," Buffy took Willow's hand, smiling as her friend moved out of Spike's embrace to accompany her. "Anya?"

"I'm fine," Anya said, watching as Xander went further down to the men's room. She glanced at Spike who was watching Willow's departure. She smiled as she looked out the large window, watching another plane take off. "You're good for her."

"What?" Spike glanced at Anya, having not realized the ex-demon had remained. His attention had been focused on Willow, helping her deal with the watcher's leaving.

"Willow. You're good for her," Anya said, looking at him. "She needs you. Losing Tara and now Giles. It's nice to know she's got you."

"She does," he said, studying the woman, "have me, that is. I'm not going anywhere."

"Have you told her, yet?" Anya asked. "How you really feel? About the chip?"

"No," Spike said sharply, eyes narrowing. "It's not time yet."

"She's falling for you, Spike," Anya said softly, having watched her friend over the last few weeks. "I don't want to see her hurt."

"You won't," Spike assured her before his eyes moved back to the bathroom door as he saw her coming towards him, a smile crossing her face as their eyes met. Without the slightest hesitation, she moved back into his arms as they left the airport and walked towards the car.

********************

"I feel so popular," Buffy said as she entered the living room, the mail in her right hand. "We got postcards from Mom and Giles."

Willow smiled as she eagerly took the mail, "Are they doing okay?"

"Mom is loving her search for the perfect artist," Buffy said, making a face. "She seems to be so enjoying it that she doesn't even pretend that she's going to be coming home anytime soon. You'd think she could have found a dozen artists in six weeks."

"Buffy, she's having fun. You can hear how excited she's been when she's called us," Willow pointed out, understanding that Buffy wasn't used to not having her mother around, but also knowing that Joyce had waited to travel until Buffy was old enough, unlike her own parents.

"I know, but she's my Mom," Buffy whined, "I miss her."

"Giles says he's enjoying his work," Willow said, reading the postcard from the former watcher. She finished his note and looked at Buffy, a frown on her face, "He doesn't even mention missing Sunnydale. Three weeks he's been gone, and he doesn't miss us?"

"I'm sure he misses us," Buffy said, sighing, "or maybe not. Why is it that everyone we love is leaving us and not seeming to care?"

Willow smiled sadly, "It does rather seem that way, doesn't it?"

"I mean, I'm happy for Mom and Giles, don't get me wrong. It's just, they both left at nearly the same time. I know they'll be back, but it's weird," Buffy shook her head.

"Talking about yourself again, slayer?" Spike asked as he entered the living room, stretching as he covered a yawn.

"Ha, ha, ha," Buffy said as she showed him her middle finger.

"Sorry, luv. You're not my type," Spike said with a smirk as his blue eyes found Willow's amused green ones. "Morning, Red."

"It's afternoon, Spike," she said with a small smile as her eyes moved over his bare chest. She was going to buy him some shirts, she decided. Lots of long sleeve, baggy shirts that would conceal his body from her hungry eyes. She reluctantly tore her eyes away from his body to find Buffy watching her.

"Enjoying the view, Wills?" Buffy asked sweetly as her best friend blushed. She rolled her eyes, having watched the same scene for the past week and a half. Spike had suddenly decided to appear in the afternoon shirtless, having to know that doing so made Willow slightly unbalanced. It was rather fun to watch those two, plus Spike did have a very nice chest so the view wasn't all that bad, not that she was looking. Spike was not her type. Besides, he was so devoted to Willow that no one else even registered in his mind.

"Shut up, Buffy," Willow said, mortified that Buffy had just called her on the ogling in front of Spike.

Spike smiled as he moved towards the kitchen, deciding not to comment on the slayer's words. He knew that Willow was looking, could feel her eyes on him as clearly as he could feel her touch. She wanted him. Was nearly to the point of acknowledging her desire. He also thought she might be in love with him. Nothing had been said, but her eyes followed him as his did her. He was trying to be patient, trying not to rush her, but he was growing tired of waiting. It had been months since he had lost the implant, and he was still waiting and watching. It hadn't really been that bad, if he were honest. He'd been given a chance to get to know her, to become her friend, to learn everything about her. He had her trust and friendship before he had her love. That was better than anything he had originally planned. Hell, he slept down the hall from her, having been invited to move in by the slayer of all people.

The damn slayer. She had changed things a bit. When he had originally devised his plan, he had only two goals: claim Willow and kill Buffy. He had been told something years before that he thought might have been useful in killing the slayer. He had tried, watching her even while he only wanted to be with Willow. It hadn't worked, stalking after her had taught him nothing except that he couldn't stand the selfish bitch. So he had concentrated on his plans for Willow. Of course, there, his only real plan had been to remove Tara. Once that was done, he had stepped in and be honest with Willow. He didn't want anything ever coming between them, the little witch's death the only snag. And Willow would not learn his part in that, not until it no longer mattered to her. If Willow did indeed love him, it was because she wanted to. She had not fallen in love with an act, with someone other than the real Spike. That part of his plan was nearly accomplished. There were still things to work out, some changes he had made after the initial rash, kill them all plan.

Buffy had become a huge problem, more so than he ever would have imagined. Her friendship with Willow was strong, the bond so clear to anyone. He loathed it, was envious of it, was jealous of the damn slayer, but he also accepted it. Willow was the woman he loved. Her best friend was someone that he hated. A bit of a cliche, but true. The problem was, over the last couple of months, after watching Buffy with Willow, after seeing just how much she cared about his Red, after seeing how happy she made Willow and the lengths she would go to protect his girl, he no longer hated her. He respected her, which annoyed him. He almost liked her, sometimes. It messed up his plans. Even if Willow went to him willingly, if she became his in every way, that damn connection with Buffy wouldn't just go away. If he killed Buffy, in the end, he could still lose Willow. Angelus had told him that to kill Buffy, you had to love her. Well, he certainly didn't love her, tolerance being a better word for what he felt for her, but he had studied her and knew how he could kill her. He had the knowledge, and it was rather satisfying. Angelus had been right, though. Hating her clouded the vision, made you lose when fighting her. The irony? Now that he knew how to kill her, he no longer had the desire.

He walked back into the living room after feeding, his eyes finding Willow as she talked to Buffy. As if she knew she was being watched, she turned and looked at him, smiling a special smile before returning to her conversation. He moved to sit beside her, propping his feet on the table as he turned his attention to the TV, listening to their chatter and relaxing as Willow leaned against him unconsciously. He was still reworking his grand plan, but, for now, there was no hurry. He was content to let things continue as they were with the only exception being his and Willow's relationship. That was going to move forward, hopefully very soon. He smiled slightly as his fingers moved to brush her hair as she and Buffy continued talking about school. Soon.

********************

Willow continued searching her closet, not able to find anything that suited her. She groaned as she picked up yet another dress before dismissing it. She heard her door open and glanced at Buffy, grimacing, "This is pointless. I don't have anything to wear. I'm staying home."

"No, you're not," Buffy corrected with a smile as she shut the door and moved to sit on her best friend's bed. "You have a closet full of clothes, as do I. You're taller than me, but we're nearly the same size. You could borrow something."

"No, I should just stay home," Willow said, shaking her head. She was more nervous than she had been in longer than she could remember. This was silly. She was acting stupid.

"You know," Buffy studied Willow for a second before smiling, "I have the perfect dress. I've never worn it. I bought it on sale because it was gorgeous, but the color isn't good on me. On you, it would be ravishing. I just know it. Will you try it?"

"I don't know," Willow started but Buffy had already left the room, going to retrieve the perfect dress. When the slayer returned, she was surprised to see Buffy carrying a green dress. "You don't like green."

"I told you it looked terrible on me," Buffy said, making a face. "Okay, fine. You caught me. I bought you this when you told me about the date. I passed the boutique and saw it in the window and just knew you should wear it tonight. For luck, if you will."

"Buffy, it's not really a date," Willow said, smiling at her friend, "It's just Spike. Thanks for the dress, though."

"Just Spike?" Buffy repeated, rolling her eyes. "I'm not buying, Wills. I know you. I know that you are falling for him. If you'd told me six months ago, I'd have thought you were crazy. Now, though, well, it makes sense. I think he loves you, and you deserve that so much! Please wear the dress."

"Let me try it on," Willow said, giving in to her friend. She couldn't deny Buffy's words. Sure, it was a date with Spike. They'd gone out most nights for the last five months. But, this was different. He'd asked her in a way that made it more serious, as if it were the first step in a real relationship instead of just friends hanging out. She might be wrong, which would be embarrassing, but she hoped that it meant he might want her in his life. She took the dress from Buffy, looking at her friend in surprise, "Silk?"

Buffy smiled, "I wanted you to feel sexy and confident. Silk is good for that."

"Should I be worried that you are encouraging me to be sexy on a date with Spike?" Willow asked as she removed her shorts and T-shirt. Clad in cotton panties and a bra, she began to unfold the dress.

"I'm not encouraging, merely supportive of any decision you make. Willow! You can't wear cotton," Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "What if you let him get past first base?"

"Good God, Buffy. I don't plan to have sex with him on the first date!" Willow said, her skin turning a delightful shade of pink as the slayer seemed to read her mind.

Buffy smiled knowingly, "You don't have to plan. Sometimes things just happen. I guess what you're wearing really isn't that important. I mean, Spike would love you in anything."

Willow looked down at the white cotton and frowned, "Not that I think he will be seeing them, but maybe you're right. White cotton with a silk dress isn't very sexy."

"Wills, you're sexy in your own way. Don't listen to me," Buffy said, "I'm just happy for you and don't want you nervous."

"I know," Willow gave her a smile, "you're a great friend, Buffy, and you're right. If I'm planning on seducing Spike tonight, I shouldn't wear cotton."

"Seducing, huh?" Buffy arched a brow, "What happened to not getting past first base? Naughty, naughty Willow."

Willow shrugged as she went to her drawer and found black lace panties and a matching bra. She glanced at Buffy, "Am I terrible? Tara hasn't even been dead for half a year, and here I am talking about seducing Spike."

"You're not terrible," Buffy said. "And I doubt you have to worry too much about seducing Spike. I have a feeling he'll be doing the seducing. He's waited for you for months. I'm sure he's been going crazy. I mean, he's not the most patient man I've ever met."

"That's an understatement," Willow continued the conversation as she entered the bathroom, changing her bra and panties then slipping the silk dress on.

"Wow," Buffy gasped when she saw Willow. She smiled, "You look gorgeous."

"Really?" Willow moved to look in the mirror, studying herself. "This dress is amazing."

The dark green silk caressed curves she wasn't aware of, a scoop neck giving the hint of cleavage without being too revealing, a tight waist that fell into a skirt that fell past her knees with a slit on the right side that showed off nearly her entire leg. Buffy had picked the perfect dress for her. Sexy but not showy. Her friend knew her too well. She looked in the mirror and saw the sparkle in her green eyes, the flush to her cheeks, the nervous anticipation in her eyes. She felt sexy.

"You need stockings," Buffy decided, "not hose. You'll drive him crazy all night every time you move your leg. Oh, let me do your hair. I want something that will make him want to run his fingers through it."

"You're evil, slayer," Willow decided as Buffy continued to discuss what she needed to complete the image of seduction she was trying for. She felt brave, as if she could actually go out and seduce Spike. It had taken her nearly a month to get up the courage to start trying to move their relationship past friendship, weeks to get him to ask her out in a way that might be construed as relationship building. She had lied to Buffy, earlier. Tonight, she wanted Spike. Wanted to feel his touch, his lips, his caress, his hands. The vision had occupied her mind for weeks, had consumed her during her sleeping hours and some of her waking. She was so ready for him, needed him more than she'd ever needed anyone. Tonight, if he asked, she was his.

********************

"I wonder where he's going to take you," Buffy said as she glanced at the clock. It was less than twenty minutes until Spike was supposed to pick up Willow for their date. The redhead was dressed and waiting, giving them time to talk before the vampire's arrival.

"He wouldn't tell me," Willow smiled. "He just said to wear something nice and to leave the rest to him."

Buffy smiled as she looked at her best friend. She honestly couldn't remember seeing the redhead this happy in quite some time. There was excitement in her green eyes, a smile that hadn't left her face in hours, and a nervous anticipation that Buffy could recognize. And it was all because of Spike. That still floored the slayer in many ways. To think that her former enemy would be the cause of such happiness in her best friend. She had to admit that Spike had been good for Willow. She still felt slightly guilty when she thought of the time months before when she had been rude to him, thinking that he had a crush on her. Now, she could look back and realize that it had always been Willow.

It didn't bother her, to think of Spike and Willow together. Sure, part of her, the slayer part, still found it difficult to trust him. He was a vampire after all. He didn't even have a soul, just a piece of metal that could default at any time. That worried her, truthfully. She knew that Spike would kill them all if the chip wasn't working. She also knew that someday the chip would become inactive. Technology never lasted for very long, and it scared her to think about that day. She didn't let Willow know about her fears. She wasn't worried about Willow, in a forever death kind of way. Spike loved the redhead, in the forever after, sired by me kind of way. The rest of them, she worried about. She honestly hoped that she would already be gone before that day ever came. She was a slayer. She'd probably die young. As long as Spike was on their side, she could die knowing that he would look after Willow and the others. It gave her a small amount of peace to know that. If his implant deactivated before her death, it would put her in a situation she didn't want to be in. She didn't want to fight him. She didn't want Willow to have to choose between her love and her friends. It wasn't fair. She'd had to make that choice years before and didn't want her best friend going through that.

Buffy shook her head slightly, not dwelling on the future. It was stupid to do so. She had learned to concentrate on the here and now, to enjoy the present. At the moment, Spike was just what Willow needed. Buffy knew that she couldn't have done it alone. Hated to acknowledge that Spike had become sort of a friend over the past few months. Liked seeing Willow falling in love again. Was a bit jealous that Willow had fallen in love with Spike. Since Riley had left, the three of them, her, Willow and Spike, had become a bit like the three musketeers. They went out together, went on patrols, hung out. It was nice, being with her best friend, even if it meant sharing it with Spike. Buffy had realized weeks before that she had a bit of a crush on Willow. She'd always loved the redhead, but her feelings were becoming a bit different. Of course, she wasn't going to act on them. It was probably just a reaction to Riley leaving her and Willow being there for her. Buffy had never found herself attracted to another woman before, so it was a bit confusing but she liked to think that she was handling it with maturity.

"Buffy, you in there?" Willow asked again, laughing as the slayer looked at her.

"Sorry, Will," Buffy made a face. "I was just thinking. I wonder where he's going to take you."

"I honestly don't care," Willow admitted with a smile, "as long as I'm with him, I'm always happy."

"I've noticed," Buffy said dryly, though her words were lightened by the amusement in her hazel eyes.

"You're sure that I look okay?" Willow asked again, looking down at her dress. She felt sexy, the silk and stockings causing wonderful sensations against her bare skin.

"You'll knock him dead," Buffy said before laughing. "Oh wait, he's already dead!"

"That was horrible," Willow groaned, her eyes widening when she heard the doorbell. "Oh my God, he's here."

"Stop it," Buffy warned, shaking her head. "You look gorgeous. And don't worry about the seduction. I don't think you'll have to do anything except be yourself."

"Thanks," Willow said with a smile as Buffy opened the door.

"Wow Fang, you look good," Buffy said in greeting as she smiled at Spike.

********************

Spike looked at the smiling slayer, rolling his eyes as he moved past her. He couldn't figure her out, not really caring enough to waste the time trying. He froze when he entered the living room, knowing that his breath would have caught had he been alive. "Willow," he only said her name, unable to form any other words.

Willow blushed as his eyes moved over her slowly, their blue depths flashing with desire as he huskily whispered her name. She felt a tightening in her tummy as his eyes met hers, licking her lips as she glanced at him. She was surprised to find him wearing black slacks instead of his jeans. His T-shirt had been left at home in favor of a blue shirt that had way too many buttons for her own good. The shirt looked good on him, bringing out the color in his hair and eyes. She watched him move, noticing that the shirt was silk. A wave of heat rushed over her as she wondered how she could possibly make it through the night without attacking him. She finally spoke, "Spike."

"Yes, we know. You Spike, you Willow," Buffy said, leaning against the doorway watching the two with amusement. "Don't growl at me, Blondie."

"Don't you have somewhere to be, slayer?" Spike asked, not taking his eyes off Willow.

"Nope," Buffy said with a smile, watching as Willow flushed under Spike's scrutiny.

"Well, we do," he said, holding out his hand to Willow. His voice lowered as he said, "You're breathtaking, luv."

Willow smiled at his compliment, taking his hand as she moved towards him. She wanted to kiss him. Wanted nothing more at that moment than to feel his lips on hers, his body against hers. She watched as his eyes darkened, wondering if he had somehow read her mind. She watched as he lifted her hand, lowering his face until his wet lips brushed against her palm. She sucked in a breath as his tongue darted over her skin, his eyes still on hers. She knew, at that moment, that tonight she was going to be his. She gave him a shy smile as she said, "We should go," she started to follow him from the room, his hand still holding hers. She glanced at Buffy, blushing as the slayer winked at her and gave her a thumbs up sign. She mouthed the words, "Don't wait up," before winking at her best friend, following Spike out into the night.

********************

Spike opened the car door and helped Willow inside. He had borrowed the slayer's car for his date with the redhead. Once she was settled comfortable, he shut her door and went to the driver's side. Getting in, he started it and headed down the street. He looked at Willow and smiled, not able to believe that they were really on a date. She'd said yes, had dressed up in her pretty dress for him, was now sitting beside him, where she belonged him.

"You look beautiful tonight," Spike told Willow, watching as she blushed at his compliment.

"So do you," Willow told him, deciding that she was already blushing so she could go ahead and be honest with him. "I mean, you look very handsome."

"I feel a bit weird," he confessed with a sheepish smile as he pulled a car to a stop at the park. He wasn't sure yet where they were going so he figured it would be better to stop and think. He added, "I'm not really used to wearing such fancy clothes."

"You wear them well," she replied, her eyes widening slightly when she realized what she had said and how she had said it.

"Cor, luv," he groaned slightly as he heard her husky words, noticing the lusty way her green eyes moved over his body.

He'd promised himself that he'd try to go slow, this being their first date without the slayer around. He finally had her to himself, and he wanted to enjoy every moment of it. He planned to take her to dinner and then to a movie. Traditional activities for a first date, or so he had heard. He'd never really been on a date before so he was a bit at a loss. All he really wanted to do was take her somewhere private and spend several days making love to her, tasting her and teasing her and feeling her tight warmth around him and just being with her. He wanted her to want the same thing, though, which meant taking it slow and seducing her, mind, body and soul.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, hearing him groan. She saw the look in his eyes and froze, heat washing over her body as her heartbeat sped up. She felt a fluttering in her tummy as his blue eyes caught hers. It would appear that Buffy might have been right. It didn't seem like she would have to do much seducing at all.

"Fine, pet," he smiled at her as he took her hand. "I thought we'd go get some dinner. Are you hungry?"

"God, yes," she whispered, her eyes moving to look at his lips as she spoke. She was starving, for Spike.

She'd been having the feelings for a long time, since before Tara's death if she were completely honest. She'd hesitated accepting her feelings, acknowledging them, because she felt guilty moving on so quickly after her lover had died. Now, though, she couldn't ignore them any longer. It was time to admit the truth. Not only had it been several months, but she and Tara had drifted apart far before her lover's death. It had been long enough that she didn't feel like she was betraying Tara's memory by wanting Spike.

"What do you want, Willow?" Spike asked softly, his eyes catching hers. He could smell the sweet scent of her arousal, could see that she was no longer running from her feelings for him. He'd let it be her choice, he decided. He didn't want her to have any regrets, knowing that he'd risk losing her if he acted before she was ready. If she kept looking at him like that, though, like he was dessert and she was starving, well, he might not be able to keep control for much longer. It had been so long, so much waiting and taking things slow, and patience was not one of his virtues. He couldn't complain. It was worth it for Willow.

"You," she whispered, relaxing as she said the word. She gave him a small smile as she repeated it, "You. I want you, Spike."

********************

End of Part 29