Inell's Fanfiction Archive

"I'm worried about Willow."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"Anya, quit. I'm being serious here. No, don't bite that. No. Talk. Geez, there is more to life than just sex you know."

"Don't give me that. Sex is the best thing about being human. Fine. I'll talk" she spat the last word out. "But then, sex."

"As I was saying, I think Oz's leaving has really hurt her."

"He was a dog. Sorry, wolf. She'll get over it. He wasn't even very attractive. All that hair...and he was short. Reminded me of an elf."

"Anya...."

"What? I'm talking. You never told me what I had to talk about."

A big sigh. "I just want my old Willow back. She never smiles anymore. She's never happy....never laughs. I used to be able to make her laugh."

"That would be when she thought herself in love with you. That is the only reason I could think of as to why she would at your jokes. They aren't funny."

"Thanks. Way to be supportive of my defense mechanism"

"That's what I'm here for. Besides, she laughs. I've even seen her smile. Quite a bit lately."

"When?"

"Every time we have our ridiculous study/research sessions at Giles. The dead hottie is always making her smile."

"Dead hottie? SPIKE! You're joking."

"Please. I do not joke. He always makes her smile. You just don't notice. I don't think anyone has. I'm just perceptive."

"Yeah yeah....no more 'because I'm a thousand year old demon blah blah' ok?"

"Well, I am."

"Spike and Willow.....In a weird way I can see it. He really acted weird around her when he kidnapped us that time...."

"Uh oh. What is that look Xander Harris?"

"You say they are attracted?"

"Burning heat that almost catches everyone around them on fire."

"A yes would have worked. Anyway, I'm just going to give them a small push. I want my old Willow back. Happy and laughing. She deserves better than Oz. He was never good enough for her."

"Don't be too bitter now ok hon? I'd hate to have to tear her eyes out in a jealous rage."

"No contest sweet. I love my demon girl. Willow is just my best friend."

"Good. Keep it that way and we'll all be happy. So, a small push huh? Need some help?"

"Really?"

"Hey, I like her. Besides, he's a hottie. I can be nice."

"Don't get so defensive. Of course you can help. I do think we should keep our efforts a secret from Buffy and Giles."

"I rarely speak to them. They don't like me."

"True."

"I'm bored. Is this talking stuff done?"

"Yes. We can have sex now."

* * * * *

"So, Wills. What do you think of our pasty undead friend?"

"What?" Willow looked up from her book.

"Deadboy Jr. What do you think?"

"About Spike? In what way?"

"You think he's sexy? I could see girls liking those eyes...those cheek bones...I heard Buffy and Anya say he had a nice ass....what do you think?"

"About Spike's ass?" Willow shut her book. "Xander, are you trying to tell me something?"

"Yes."

"I am here for you. Know that. You're my best friend. I must, I am a bit surprised. I thought you liked girls. Really liked girls. But, it is your life. If you want to be gay, enjoy it."

"WHAT?!!!"

"You are trying to tell me you're gay aren't you?"

"Good god. NO. I was asking if you could fuck Spike. Geez, where the hell did you come up with that?"

Willow turned away before he could see the expression in her eyes. "Sex with Spike? That would be wrong. He's our enemy."

"What ever. He's saved us more times lately than Deadboy ever did. I want you happy Wills."

She turned and smiled at him. "I am happy. See? Me smiling. Very happy."

"No you aren't. I think Spike makes you happy. Don't worry. I'll get him for you. As long as it doesn't involve anything illegal."

"Xander, really. You don't need to set me up. He's a good guy and all but..."

"I know you Willow. You want the pasty blond. Don't worry your cute little head. He'll be yours. Trust your old friend Xander."

"Why do those words not reassure me?" Willow muttered.

* * * * *

"So, Spike. Whatcha watching?"

Spike looked at him coldly. "I don't like you. Go away."

He turned back to the television.

"Nice manners. Guess your mother didn't teach you how to be polite" Xander whined.

Spike looked at him and grinned. "Polite? I'll be polite. I promise not to get your blood on the watcher's shiny new rug. How is that for polite?"

"You can't hurt me."

"Oh, boy. Don't push me. I can. I will. I'll just have a right nasty headache."

"I have a favor."

Spike started to laugh. He laughed until tears ran down his face. "A favor? From me? What, pray tell?"

"What do you think about Willow?"

"Red? She's not nearly annoying as you Chubs."

"Chubs? I'm not fat."

Spike rolled his eyes. "What is the favor? My soaps are about to start."

"I want you to...." Xander made a face. "Damn, this is tough."

"Sorry chap. I'm not into men. Call Peaches up. He always did like a tight ass."

"What? What is the deal with people thinking I'm gay? I'm not. I like women."

"Denial is always the hardest step to overcome" Spike said shaking his head.

"I want you to date Willow."

"Me? And Red? What have been smoking?"

"I want her happy. You make her happy for some god awful reason. Will you do it?"

"What's in it for me?"

"Uh...I don't know. Hadn't considered it."

"Tell you what, you pay for the date. Also, the watcher is tired of me stealing his food. I'll make you a list. You get me everything I want, we got a deal. ONE date. Oh, and I do not have sex on the first date. I'm not that kind of vampire. So, go away. I'm about to watch my soaps."

Xander stood and left. Good lord, what he went through for Willow.

* * * * *

"So, how did it go?"

Spike looked at the boy. "Chubs, it was fine. I took her to a bar, got her shit faced and then fucked her in the bathroom. Oh, can't forget the fuck when I took her home."

"What?" Xander demanded.

Spike started laughing. "Had you there. The look on your face. Classic. It was rather dull compared to my usual evenings out, but it was all right. She's rather nice, for a human."

"No fucking?"

"I told you, never on the first date."

"So, are you going out again?"

"Are you paying?"

Xander sighed. "Was she happy?"

"Yes"

"Ok. I'll pay."

Spike laughed softly. The boy was a moron, but he seemed to be a good friend.

* * * * *

"So, tell me." Xander demanded.

Willow turned and smiled. "He got me drunk, we fucked...twice I think. Then, he left. Over all a pretty fulfilling evening."

Xander groaned. "He already tried that Wills. Don't believe it. I can't believe you just said fuck."

Willow laughed. "Ok. I admit it. We had fun. He isn't so bad, for a vampire. Never tried to bite me. Also didn't try anything very naughty."

"He's going to ask you out again."

"What are you giving him this time? You know, I could get a complex from this. You have to pay a dead guy to date me."

Xander laughed. "That's my old Willow. It is worth it to see the smile on your face. He just wants more food. You know, to be dead, he eats more junk food than me."

"And he stays so thin." Willow remarked solemnly.

"Want to grab a burger with me and Anya?"

"Why not?" Willow said smiling. She knew Xander was trying. He was just so stupid sometimes.

* * * * *

"I can't believe you've been paying Spike to take Willow out." Buffy said, staring at Xander. "You're an idiot."

"Hey hey hey....She's happy. I thought you would want her to be happy."

"I do. She was. Xander, you're a twit."

"Jealous that I thought of it before you?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and exchanged a grimace with Giles. "Not even close. Oh well, it's your money. Just remember, I warned you."

"Yep, it's the green eyed monster. I made her happy. All you did was listen to her mope."

"Really, Xander. Willow was not moping anymore." Giles put in. He shook his head and went into his bedroom shutting the door.

Buffy suddenly smiled. "I think it's great Xander. They make a weird, but interesting couple. You did a great job. Now, excuse me. I have to meet Riley."

"What are Hos Hos?" Anya asked as Buffy left.

"Chocolate snack cakes. Why?"

"Spike asked for two boxes. Twinkies? Aren't those those golden cake things you eat and get all over the place?"

"I am not messy. The dead boy wants twinkies? Cool. He has good taste."

"What ever. What is this? The third date? How many do you plan on making them go on?"

"As many as they want....until Spike asks her without the bribes."

"Buffy is right. You're an idiot." Anya said, "But I love you anyway."

"Thanks" Xander said smiling at his girlfriend.

* * * * *

Willow licked the cream from the twinkie from her fingers. "I feel guilty."

"Why luv?"

"Poor Xander. He's trying. It is actually sweet in a way."

"Guilt is a bad thing. Just ignore it. It'll go away. Want a brownie?"

"No thanks. Next time, add some strawberries to the list."

"I think I'll be adding whipped cream too."

"Really?" Willow asked, smiling at him.

"You see, I had this image of a Willow sundae.....Yummy." Spike said licking his lips.

Willow felt heat rush over her. "Sound good. Buffy went along with him as did Giles."

"Our secret is still safe?"

Willow laughed. "It was never a secret. Xander was just too dumb to realize anything."

Spike laughed as he finished his brownie. "You could have knocked me over with a feather when he asked me to ask you out. I almost told him then that I'd been fucking you for months."

Willow hit his arm. "Very crass way to put our relationship. I prefer shagging our brains out."

"Yes pet" he kissed her, bringing the sheet up to cover their naked bodies.

"I think we should quit accepting payment....soon."

"Yes pet" he said, taking her breast in his mouth. "After the sundae...don't forget the ice cream."

Spike pulled up and grinned at her as he moved down her body. "Yes pet."

"Remind me to thank Xander later." she said softly before gasping at his tongue on her.

"Yes pet" he said against her wet entrance.



THE END