Inell's Fanfiction Archive

"Spike. Please." Willow begged, tears in her eyes.

He looked at her. "I have to go. Dru needs me."

"I need you."

"No you don't. You have the slayer and your little gang of friends. Dru has no one."

"She must have you." Willow said, feeling her heart break.

"Red...You need a man that can see you in the sun. Someone that can be by your side. I can't be that man, no matter how bad I'd like to be."

"I don't care if you can't see the sun."

"You would. You'd resent me after awhile."

"Spike...I love you."

"No you don't."

"Spike!" she reached for his arm.

Spike looked at her his eyes hard. "I love Dru. It has always been Dru. You knew that before we started this relationship. Just like I knew the wolf was your priority. If he had called you, you would have gone running. It was fun Red. But, it's over. Now, let me go." he pulled away from her and started for the door, grabbing his bag.

Willow heard the door slam and fell to the floor. She cried for what she had lost. Oz had never been the one in her heart. Spike had taken that place and then some. She felt as though she had lost part of herself. He believed that it was just lust. Just companionship. She loved him. But, he had left her....gone running when Dru had phoned.

She thought he had loved her. He had seemed to. He had been there for her from the start. Always trying to make her laugh. He was her happiness. And now, now he was gone. She didn't know what to do. She felt hollow. She didn't notice Buffy coming in.

Buffy saw her friend crying and knew that he must have left. She should have staked him when she'd had the chance. She had been convinced that he loved Willow though. She guessed she had been wrong. She went to comfort her friend.

Willow sat in the chair, staring at the open book. She didn't see the words. She heard Buffy asking her if she was ok. Ok? She had had her life torn apart. Spike was gone. He had been gone for a week. She had this hope that he would come back, but now she realized she was deluding herself. She wanted him to come back.

"Willow, you need to eat. How long has it been since you've eaten more than a sandwich?"

"Buffy" Willow said, her voice tired. "I'm fine."

"No you aren't. I will not sit here and watch you wasting away. He left. His choice. I will not let him kill you."

"I loved him" Willow said, her eyes filling with tears.

Buffy hugged her. "I know. Shh...don't worry. Things will work out. I am just so worried about you. You didn't even react like this when Oz left."

"I'm sorry...I'll try....it just hurts...I miss him so much....."

"I know." Buffy said, as Willow cried on her shoulder. "Give it time...it will get easier."

*******

Willow smiled at Buffy. It had been two months since Spike had left. She hated to admit it, but she still missed him. She knew now that he had been a selfish jerk. She had dried her tears and gone on with her life. She was happy. She still had an ache that wouldn't go away, but she had accepted things. She had been to several parties with Buffy. Had even dated a few guys trying to get her mind off of him. The guys had been nice, but they hadn't been Spike. She was so mad at him. Mad for making such a stupid decision. Mad that he had chosen Drusilla over her. She walked to her door and let herself in. Startled, she saw the lights on.

"What are you doing here?" Willow demanded.

Spike looked at her. She was wearing a short skirt and a tight tank top. Looked like the slayer had been dressing her. "I missed you."

Willow felt her heart start to flutter. Then, she remembered. "I don't care. You left. YOU chose. Where's Drusilla?"

"I left her. She wasn't you. I needed to be with you."

"You left me."

"I was a bloody idiot."

"Leave. I don't need this. I am just now getting on with my life and you come back. No. I gave you six months of my life. I gave you my love. You threw it all back in my face as soon as that psychotic bitch called. I will not put myself through that again."

"I love you pet." Spike said, having discovered the truth after he left.

Willow took a deep breath. "There is the door. Don't let it hit your cute ass on your way out."

"Give me a chance."

"Just leave me alone." Willow said, her voice breaking.

Spike wanted to touch her...to hold her. Instead, he nodded and left.

Willow felt the tears forming but hastily wiped them away. He didn't deserve a second chance. He had been the one that broke her heart. She had finally moved on and he seemed to think he could just come back like nothing happened. She closed her eyes. She still loved him.

Spike watched her from his place in the shadows. She looked happy. He hated the man who had made her smile. Angel. He felt a twisting in his gut as he watched his sire kiss Willow. She sighed up at him, love in her eyes. Spike couldn't watch, but he couldn't turn away. The poof had come back to Sunnydale. He had listened when she cried. He had taken her love when it was offered. Spike had given her up...made his choice. It was the wrong choice. He never smiled anymore. He had lost the one good thing that he had ever had. Now, he watched from the shadows, living in memories, as she lived her life.

Willow smiled at Angel. He loved her. She could see it in his eyes. She wished she could love him the way he deserved to be loved. She knew Spike was in the shadows, watching. For him, she put on a brighter smile. Laughed a little longer...a little louder. He would never know that she was remembering their times together. Remembering the laughter...the tears...the way he held her while she slept....the way his mouth tasted. She smiled at Angel. He was the one she was with. She loved him....just not as much as Spike.


Spike watched in horror as the demon attacked. Willow stood frozen. Angel tried to get her down, but she was worried about Spike. She turned to him, catching his eyes. She started for him, wanting to save him. He moved with speed. He had her in his arms and on the floor. He heard the chaos above them as the slayer battled the demon. His eyes wouldn't leave Willow's. He kissed her softly.

"I was wrong." he said quietly. "I loved you more than you'll ever know."

Willow felt tears on her face. She kissed him. She watched as he closed his eyes. The acid that the demon had sprayed eating through his skin.

"I love you...don't leave me....I was wrong. It was me," she said, crying. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Never you....Love you." he smiled before dying in her arms.

Willow woke up screaming Spike's name. It took her a minute to realize that it had been a dream. She got out of bed and grabbed the sheet. She had to make sure he was still alive.

Spike woke up gasping for unnecessary breath. Willow and Angel? He got out of bed and pulled his shoes on. He had to see her. To tell her everything. He ran out of his apartment, letting the door slam behind him.

Willow ran through the park, tears blinding her. (Please let him be alive...please let him be alive....) She saw familiar blond hair running towards her.

"Spike!" She yelled out, getting his attention. He stopped. She saw that he was wearing a pair of faded black jeans and no shirt.

"Willow!" Spike said in relief. He started towards her. He saw that she was wearing her pajamas and had a sheet around her shoulders. She didn't have any shoes on.

"I love you" Willow said, holding him tight. "Don't die....please don't die."

"I was wrong...It was always you. I was scared....I ran....I love you...please don't run to Angel..."

Willow felt a light rain start falling as they kissed. She finally felt whole again. She was complete.

Spike held her tightly to him. He was never letting her go. She was his. He loved her.

The rain continued to fall on the pair. They stood in silence marveling at the love they had come so close to losing. Together they would make it work.



THE END