Inell's Fanfiction Archive

Willow couldn't get the smile off of her face. She was happier than she could ever remember being. Her green eyes followed her lover as Tara moved to the dresser, not wanting to look away in fear that it would all disappear if she did. The last couple of months had been hell for her. The dependence on magic, nearly killing Dawn, losing Tara, nearly losing herself. It was a horrible nightmare that she couldn't believe she had allowed to happen. Oh, she had no doubts that she was at fault. While she didn't really agree with her friends' decision that she had become addicted to magic, she knew that she had gone too far. It had been so great to feel all that power. She'd finally felt important. She'd had time to realize, though, that she had been using it to make up for emptiness in other areas of her life. It had started when she had brought Buffy back, escalating from that moment until she had ended up the pathetic mess that had nearly killed her friend and herself.

Luckily, she was strong. She had given up magic completely until she had found herself, discovered what she wanted and needed. She couldn't practice something so pure when there were doubts in her heart and her mind. Dawn had forgiven her, though there were times she could swear she saw distrust in the teen's eyes. Her friends still seemed to think she could lose control at anytime, their lack of faith in her painful but understandable. She really couldn't blame them. She gave Tara a small smile. She really did love Tara. Okay, there were times over the last year or so that she had had doubts, times that she felt like she was with the blonde witch more out of friendship and convenience than out of a passionate love. Tara needed her, and Willow loved to be needed. After losing her, though, she'd realized that she did love her. It was a comforting love, a love that made her happy and made her feel special. As corny as it might sound, Tara made her want to be a better person. It wasn't going to be easy though. Willow couldn't fool herself into thinking that it would be happy endings just because they had made up.

She wasn't going to give up magic completely, knowing that this could be the end of her relationship with Tara once her lover knew the truth. She had admittedly become too dependent on magic, using it carelessly and too often. But, she was good at it. She had a natural power that still confused her, but that she had accepted. She couldn't turn her back on her gift anymore than Buffy could turn her back on slaying. It was part of who she was, something that made her Willow. Tara had to accept that, had to trust her enough to know she wouldn't make the same mistakes. If she couldn't trust her, Willow guessed there wasn't much basis for a relationship anyway. During the last week, she'd started to do some small spells again. Nothing serious, just little tests to prove to herself that she could handle the responsibility of her gift without losing control. She hadn't felt that same need to keep casting that she had felt a few months before. Sure, there was the same power that she had felt since performing the first spell back in high school, but she could control it now. She liked to think that the reason she got so off track was because she needed a reality check, a wake up call to show her that she could be dangerous if she didn't set limits and keep herself grounded. She was confident now that she was better, that there would never be a repeat of those horrible weeks. She just hoped that Tara could share that confidence.

"What are you thinking?" a soft voice broke through her thoughts.

She shrugged, giving Tara a loving smile, "I'm glad you're here, with me. I love you."

"I love you, too, Willow," Tara said as she moved towards the bed. "I hated not waking up beside you, not feeling your arms around me while I slept."

"Me too," Willow agreed as she stood up. She met Tara and kissed her lover gently. "Let's never fight like that again."

"You smell good," Tara said as she breathed in the smell of Willow. She had missed this, missing being loved.

"You're not so bad yourself," Willow smiled before shaking her head. "We need to leave this room. Dawn will be home soon. We should make her a snack."

"I could use some food. I love you so much, Willow," Tara smiled as she moved away from Willow. Before she could continue, she heard the sound of glass breaking. Her eyes widened when she saw blood splatter on Willow's shirt. "Your shirt....."

Willow watched in horror as Tara fell over, words of denial coming from her lips as she saw the blood covering her lover. Tara wasn't breathing. She started to kneel down when she became aware of a burning pain. She looked at her shirt, seeing the blood, her green eyes focusing on the small hole that the bullet had made when it had entered her chest. Aware now of what the pain was, she looked at the phone. She dazedly tried to reach it but only made it to the edge of the bed before her eyes rolled and she found herself falling to the floor, her head hitting the side of the bed as she landed on her side. Her eyes fluttered before she passed out, blood slowly trickling from the bullet wound in her chest pooling on the floor underneath her.

********************

Dawn hated riding the bus. It seemed to take her twice as long to get home as it would if she could just ride with a friend or even just walk. But, no, Buffy didn't want her to walk all that way and her sister didn't trust any of her friends that were old enough to drive, so she was stuck taking the bus. It smelled bad and there were all these annoying kids that would spend the entire trip being loud and obnoxious. She couldn't wait until next year. Sunnydale High was supposed to be reopened and it was close enough that Buffy couldn't possibly complain about her walking. Heck, she had memories of her sister walking to school every day with Willow and Xander, so Buffy wouldn't be able to protest. She was lucky that she could usually get a ride to school in the morning, either from Buffy or Xander or Willow. She really liked it when Willow would take her to school on the way to class because they'd usually leave early enough to stop for doughnuts and soda. Willow was the one that would sometimes surprise her by picking her up after school. Buffy and Xander were usually working so it was always great to see the redhead waiting for her. She'd much rather ride with Willow than take a bus. Today, Willow hadn't surprised her. Dawn couldn't complain, though. She knew the reason she'd had to take the bus that day. Tara was back.

Dawn couldn't keep the smile from her face as she remembered that morning, finding Tara with Willow. It had been so great to see those two back together. Willow was her favorite person in the entire world and she knew how horrible it had been for the redhead witch over the last few months. She also counted Tara among her favorite people, so it was even better to have them both together and happy again. Dawn had felt a bit responsible for their break up, even though she had understood that it had been because Willow had done that spell and lied and gotten so into her magic that she had driven Tara away. But, a part of her blamed herself. She had been the one that had been hurt, that had been tagging after Willow in the first place, that had seen her friend getting so out of control for months when no one else seemed to be paying attention. Well, Spike had noticed, but Spike always seemed to notice anything. That's one of the reasons he was her second favorite person in the world. That and the fact that he was cute and didn't treat her like some silly child and he had such a great voice and those eyes. She felt her cheeks flushing as she remembered the crush that she had had on him not too long ago. It had faded with time, as they had become friends, but sometimes she still liked to think of him in that way, just the same as she sometimes liked to think of Willow in that way. Both of those crushes were gone, replaced by one on the cute guy in her geometry class, but they were still her favorite people in the world.

Dawn was relieved when the bus pulled to a stop at her corner. She got up and walked into the afternoon air. She took a few deep breaths, enjoying the scent of flowers in the air. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and started for her house. She wondered if Tara knew that Willow was doing magic again. She doubted it. She only knew because she had caught the redhead doing a calming spell the other morning. She trusted Willow completely, didn't blame her for the accident that had hurt her, but she hoped that the redhead was ready to start doing magic again. Dawn wasn't an authority on that stuff, but she knew that Willow seemed to be very powerful. She had to have faith that Willow knew what she was doing. She knew that the others probably wouldn't understand, though. She could already imagine Buffy's reaction if her sister knew that Willow was trying to practice again. Her sister wouldn't listen, wouldn't care that it was hurting Willow not to use her gift. Her sister was selfish and stubborn and would probably bitch and yell and make threats if she knew the truth. That's why Dawn had kept Willow's secret. Willow had saved them all with her magic throughout the years. If it hadn't been for Willow, Buffy would still be six feet deep in fact. She knew that magic would be used for horrible and evil things, but Willow was the nicest person, the best person ever. She had made some mistakes, just like they all did, and it was time for them all to forgive her and let her move on. Tara would have to understand that.

Dawn let herself into the house, surprised to find it so quiet. She smiled as she realized that Willow and Tara must still be upstairs. She rolled her eyes as she wondered if they had even gotten out of bed. She put her bag down and started upstairs, deciding that it was time that they got up. "Hey guys, I'm home," she called out as she started down the hallway. "Get some clothes on cause I'm coming in," she warned with amusement as she opened Willow's door. She froze when her eyes took in the room.

"Willow? Tara?" she called out as she stepped inside. She saw Tara laying across the floor past the bed, the blonde witch not moving, her shirt covered in blood. Dawn's eyes moved to Willow who was laying on her side by the foot of the bed. She wasn't moving either. "Wake up guys. This isn't funny," Dawn said as she moved to Tara, leaning over and touching the girl's face. She pulled her hand back quickly, shaking her head as she said, "No, you can't be dead." She moved to Willow, tears in her eyes as she moved the girl onto her back. She saw the bullet hole in Willow's white shirt, all the blood. She cried out in relief when she saw Willow's chest move. She was still alive.

"Oh my God...what do I do?" Dawn asked the silent room, her eyes finding the phone. She got up and grabbed it before she moved to sit beside Willow. She put her head against Willow's chest as she listened for a heartbeat. It was there, barely. There was so much blood. She dialed Buffy's number as she found Willow's hand, needing to touch her friend so that the unconscious redhead would know that she wasn't alone. "Buffy? You have to get home!" Dawn said when she heard her sister's voice. "NO!" she groaned when she heard the voice mail message start. She waited for the beep before saying, "Buffy! It's Dawn. I don't know what to do. Tara's dead and Willow's dying and there's so much blood. Where are you? I don't know what to do damn it! I can't lose Willow. She's dying and you're not answering your phone!"

Dawn heard the beep to signal that her time was up. She looked back at Willow, tears falling freely now. She couldn't call the hospital. They'd killed her Mom, they'd kill Willow. She couldn't lose Willow. The redhead was her best friend, had been like a mother for her after Buffy had died, was too important to her to lose. She thought, trying to figure out what to do. She didn't know what to do. Suddenly, she knew who could help. She dialed another number from memory, listening to it ring. "Pick up, damn it. Pick up the phone," she cursed, relieved when she heard his voice. "Spike? Thank God you're there. It's Dawn. I really need you. Please get here as soon as you can! I don't know what to do....."

********************

"Where are you going?"

Spike looked at the demon and rolled his eyes, "Doesn't matter. Just take care of the place for me."

Clem nodded, knowing better than to push the vampire for answers. "You'll be back soon?"

Spike shrugged, "I'll be back when I'm back."

With that, he took one last look around the crypt. He grabbed his bag and went to the door. Covering his head from the sunlight with his coat, he ran to his car. He tossed his bag into the back seat and slid inside. Shutting the door, he leaned back and sighed as he reached for his half empty pack of Marlboros. He was leaving Sunnydale, finally. When he came back, well, the slayer was going to be in for a surprise. He was taking a little trip that would hopefully solve his problem. He'd heard about some demon down south that could help him with the implant situation. He hoped the gossip he had heard was right, knowing that it would only piss him off more to go all the way to South America to find an empty cave. He wanted this chip out of his head, was willing to do anything to become what he had been. His life had been shit since he'd gotten the implant. The weakness, the confusion, the fucked up emotions, all of it was because of that damn piece of metal. He knew that that was the only explanation for what he had felt for the slayer, for allowing her to use him like some toy whenever she felt horny, for begging her to feel even half of what he felt. She hadn't. She'd looked at him with contempt and disgust in her hazel eyes, hatred and pity. He didn't need her pity. He was the big bad and it was high time she was reminded of that.

Once he got rid of this damn chip, he'd make her life miserable. And then, when she couldn't handle it anymore, she'd beg him to end it. But, he wouldn't. He'd look at her with pity and hatred and then walk away from her the same way she had walked away from him. Let her see what it was like to lose everything, to forget who you were, to be willing to do anything for a smile or a touch or a few kind words. He sneered as he remembered the last couple of years, hating himself for falling for her, hating her for taking his love and throwing it aside as if it had never meant anything. He'd been willing to kill his sire for her and she hadn't even cared. Selfish, ungrateful bitch. She'd regret it. He wasn't exactly sure how, but he'd make her regret the day she ever met him.

A spot of torture, maybe kill her silly little friends in front of her. He frowned as he looked out the window of his car. Well, some of her little friends. The moron could die, so could the blonde witch. He'd never had use for either of them, considering them both a waste of good oxygen. The others, well, he had nothing against Anya really. The drunken shag hadn't been awful, though it was not something he'd want to repeat. He respected her, though, and knew he wouldn't kill her just to get at Buffy. Besides, Buffy hated the girl so she probably wouldn't even care. And he definitely wouldn't kill Niblet. He liked the girl, would never do anything to harm her. As for Red? Well, he'd always had plans for Red. Shagging the slayer didn't change those plans. Red was special, she'd be his one day. He'd promised her that night in her dorm room, and he never broke a promise. He smiled slightly as he realized that his plans for Red would hurt Buffy more than simply killing her best friend. Yeah, he'd destroy everything the slayer cared about and then walk away without ever looking back. She'd learn.

He wondered what he would have to do to get the chip removed. No one would give him definite answers, just vague nonsense that didn't make a lot of sense. He knew that there was a chance that it would be pointless. He could drive all the way to that stupid cave and never even find this demon. He didn't really care. He needed to get away from Sunnydale, away from the slayer. Every time he thought he was finally getting over the fucked up feelings for her, he'd see her and he'd ache to possess her. He figured that destroying her would break this hold she had on him. He was sick of being the pathetic puppy that followed her around begging for scraps. He wanted to move on, to forget her. If losing the chip didn't do it, maybe a change of scenery would. Something had to change in his life before he staked himself for being so bloody pathetic and worthless.

He was about to start his car when he heard his cell phone ringing. He frowned at it, knowing that only two people knew the number. Somehow, he didn't think the slayer was calling him for a quick shag, their relationship, if you could call it that, having ended weeks ago before he'd attacked her in her bathroom. That meant it had to be Dawn. He picked up the phone, hitting the talk button as he asked, "What?"

"Spike? Thank God you're there. It's Dawn. I really need you. Please get here as soon as you can! I don't know what to do....."

"Niblet?" Spike found himself curious. "What's wrong, pet?"

"I don't have time to tell you, just get here. Please?" Dawn begged.

He could tell that she had been crying, could hear the desperation in her voice. Why had she called him? What was going on? He'd have thought it was a trick if it hadn't been Dawn. She needed him. His trip could wait. He started his car, telling her, "I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Make it five," Dawn whispered as she hung up, leaving him listening to the silent phone and wondering what the hell was happening.

********************

"Wake up, Willow," Dawn said softly, trying to keep the fear from her voice. She had heard that people that were unconscious could still hear things around them and she didn't want Willow to know how scared she truly was. She frowned as she wondered if it was coma victims and not people that had passed out, wishing that she had paid more attention. It didn't really matter. It made *her* feel better to talk. "I'm here, sweetie. I'm not letting you go until you're all better. I can't lose my Wills so you'd better open those pretty green eyes and give me a small smile. Or move or do something. God, Willow, don't you die on me too. I can't lose someone else that I love. Spike is on his way. He said he'd be here real fast, and I know he'll know what to do. Buffy still hasn't called me back. I don't know where she is, but I've left her three messages and she's not calling me back and I just don't know what else to do. I wish you were here, awake, because you'd know what to do. You always know what to do, even if you sometimes think you don't. Please wake up."

Dawn felt tears dripping down her face as she spoke, her hand holding tightly to Willow's. The redhead hadn't moved at all. She was still breathing, but it was slow and short little gasps for breath. Dawn could see the blood still flowing from the bullet wound, her eyes looking around until she saw a sweater laying by the dresser. She reached over and grabbed the sweater, placing it over the bleeding wound. She pushed down as hard as she could to try to get the bleeding to stop, continuing to talk to Willow as she listened for Spike. She was so relieved that he had answered the phone. He'd know what to do, he'd know how to fix Willow. She had been thinking of nothing else since she had first stumbled into the room and found Willow laying there in the puddle of blood, thinking of how she could fix Willow.

Spike pulled into the Summers' driveway six and a half minutes after Dawn had hung up the phone. He was out of his car and into the house faster than he thought possible. He immediately smelled the scent of blood, his eyes narrowing as he sniffed the air, placing the smell upstairs. He took the stairs two at a time as he called out, "Niblet? Where are you?"

"I'm in here, Spike," a soft voice called from the end of the hall. "Hurry!"

Red's room. Spike hurried down the hall, real fear flashing in his eyes as he reached the door. He entered the room, the scent of blood washing over him as he felt his demon rise. He pushed it back, his blue eyes finding the blonde witch first. She was dead. He looked her over quickly, noticing that it looked like she had been shot. Shot? He felt a very very slight tremor of guilt as he looked at her lifeless body, remembering that he had been contemplating her death not thirty minutes before. His eyes moved from her, knowing there was nothing that could be done to save her. She was gone. It was then that he saw Dawn and Red. The teen was sitting on the floor beside Red, one hand holding something over the witch's chest, the other clinging tightly to the girl's hand. His voice was low as he asked, "Pet, did you call 911?"

Dawn looked at him, shaking her head, "No. No hospitals. They couldn't save her. What do we do, Spike? She'd dying. Tara's dead. Buffy's not answering her phone. I just don't know what to do!"

"You need to call an ambulance, Dawn," he used her real name, watching her brown eyes widen in surprise. He couldn't believe she hadn't called the hospital. Red was laying there soaked in blood, and *he* was the one she called?

"No doctors," Dawn shook her head, "Mom went to the hospital and she died! I'm not losing Willow, Spike. I can't lose her. I'm not calling the hospital."

"She'd dying, you silly little girl," he snarled, not believing she was arguing when Red was knocking on death's door.

"I'm not a silly little girl!" Dawn sobbed, "I can't lose her, Spike. She's my best friend, my most favorite person ever. She took care of me when Buffy died, now it's my turn to take care of her. I can't let them take her away."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, running a hand over his face. He looked at Dawn and saw how scared she was. Her face was covered in tears and blood, her eyes a mixture of fear and something else he couldn't place. He put his hand on her shoulder as he studied Willow, listening to her heartbeat. He sighed as he squeezed Dawn's shoulder, quietly admitting, "It's too late. She's lost a lot of blood, and her heartbeat is so weak I can barely hear it. She's dying, luv."

"Don't you think I know that?" Dawn asked him, letting go of the sweater as she wiped tears from her eyes, streaks of blood on her cheeks as she stared at him. "She was dying when I found her. She was shot! Who would shoot Willow or Tara? They were both so nice. Willow's the best person ever."

"Yeah, she is," Spike agreed softly as he moved to kneel beside Dawn, his hand moving over Willow's face as he felt her warm skin. He couldn't believe this. Someone had shot his Witch. She couldn't die. He had plans for her. So many plans.

"Spike, I need you to do something for me," Dawn said softly, having given her favor a lot of thought, well, as much thought as she could in the twenty minutes she had arrived home to find her entire world turned upside down.

"You know I'd anything for you, Niblet," he said as he kept his eyes on Willow's face, his hand stroking her hair as he listened to her heartbeat slowing down. She wasn't going to be alive much longer. The smell of her blood was wonderful. The scent sweet and calling to him to take a taste.

"I've lost so much in my life. First Mom and then Buffy," she sighed as her eyes looked at Willow, her hand holding on more tightly to the redhead's hand, "I can't lose Willow. I can't let her die like this."

"Pet, there's not a lot we can do," Spike said, hating to have to be so brutal with the teen but knowing she had to accept that Red was dying. "Maybe if you'd gotten here earlier, if she'd gotten to a hospital. Now, well, it's too late."

"Spike, look at me," Dawn waited until she was looking into his eyes, knowing that he needed to see that she was sincere, that she was serious. They had so little time left, it was now or never. She took a deep breath and then said the words that she had rehearsed saying since she had hung up the phone not ten minutes before, "Turn her," her voice faltered a little as she added, "please?"

********************

Spike looked at Dawn with surprise in his blue eyes. Of all the things she could have said, those two words had never once entered his mind. "Turn her?" he repeated softly, needing to know that he hadn't been hearing things, that it hadn't been the whisper of his demon that was telling him to claim Red before it was too late.

"Please, Spike," Dawn didn't honestly know what she'd do if he said no. She wouldn't even consider that idea. He couldn't say no. "You're her only hope. You have to turn her."

"Bloody hell, pet, I can't turn her like this," he snapped as he moved his hand through his hair again, not caring that it was sticking up in several directions or that he was speaking sharply to a troubled teen.

"Why not?" Dawn asked, having memories of Willow telling her about a night that Spike had come into her dorm room and promised her that he'd turn her one day, that she would be his childe. Dawn had felt special when Willow had told her about that night, her sister didn't even know the details. She did, though, and she knew that Spike had wanted to turn Willow then. Why was he wasting time now arguing with her? "You wanted to turn her that night when the implant messed everything up! Why can't you turn her now?"

"Your sister would kill me then she'd kill you," Spike said slowly, looking back at Dawn. His eyes narrowed as he realized that he didn't care what Buffy thought about him. He was finished with caring about how she felt, finished with making decisions in his life based on whether or not Buffy would approve. But, he didn't want Niblet dealing with an upset slayer. He frowned as he found himself wondering if it was some sort of elaborate trick. He agrees to turn Willow and then Buffy runs in to stake him because she'd have an excuse to finally kill him. Seeing Dawn's eyes, though, he knew that it wasn't a trap. And, as much as he now hated her, he knew that Buffy wasn't selfish enough to risk her best friend's life just to kill him. He studied Dawn silently, lost in thought. The girl really wanted him to turn Willow rather than lose the redhead from her life. She was now looking at him with those puppy dog eyes that were filled with tears and her mouth was wobbling as she tried not to cry and he felt his resolve crumbling.

How was he supposed to explain to her that this wasn't how he'd planned on turning Red? His vision had always been sinking deep inside her tight warmth over and over until she was begging him to turn her, until she wanted to be his childe, wanted to share his eternal life. Her choice. He knew that made him a bit of a poofster, but he'd seen what happened when gals were turned that didn't want to be, his mind flashing to Drusilla. True, Red wasn't a nutter like his sire, but he'd always promised himself that, when he chose a childe, they'd willingly offer themselves to him. It had taken him over a century to find Red, to decide that one drunken night in the factory when she had looked at him with those big green eyes and offered to listen to the demon that was planning on killing her, when he had felt that connection between them for the first time, to choose her as his childe, as his companion.

Those plans had been put on hold when he'd gotten his little gift from the Initiative. Couldn't very well sire a childe when he couldn't even feed himself properly. Becoming a sire was a big deal, something that required authority and respect. It might have been different had she been asking him, but she wasn't. She was laying at his knees slowly bleeding to death as he argued with the voices in his head. How could he expect to teach her, to have her respect, when he wasn't even a true vampire anymore? She was so bloody strong, so powerful, too powerful perhaps. She'd leave him like Drusilla had, thinking that he was too weak and pathetic to spend her eternity with. He'd lose her like he lost everything that was important to him. No, he'd be her sire. She wouldn't be able to leave him unless he allowed it. She might hate him, might resent him, but he wouldn't be alone. He'd finally have someone that couldn't desert him. She'd be his. So, it was a bit different from his original plans. He'd had visions of turning her and ruling this stupid town, watching with pride as she tortured and killed her silly little friends. There would be none of that now, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad like this.

"Spike?" Dawn's soft voice interrupted his debate as she watched his face, wishing she could read his mind. She needed to make him understand that she knew what was happening, that this wasn't some spontaneous decision made out of grief or fear. She knew this would change everything in her life, that there would be no going back. She forgot her tears as she said, "I don't care about Buffy. She's not here. She didn't answer her phone, so she has nothing to say about this. I love Willow and can't lose someone else that I love. I'll deal with Buffy later. We don't have a lot of time left. I need you. Willow needs you. Don't let her die like this. Will you do it? Will you turn her?"

He arched a brow as he looked at the girl, wondering when she had become so mature, looking away from her begging eyes to focus on Willow. He *had* chosen her to be his childe, knew that she would make him proud. He had no problems thinking about spending an eternity with the redhead. Okay, so he had an implant. He could still teach her, could still mold her into the perfect childe and companion. It would really piss the slayer off something fierce to know that her best friend was his childe, especially when she found out it had happened because her little sister had begged him to do it. Added bonus. He had plans for Red, plans that would now have to be adapted to their current situations. It wouldn't be easy, but he'd always loved a challenge. He looked back at Dawn, his decision finally made, "I'll do it."

********************

"You will?" Dawn felt relief enter her as she impulsively leaned over and hugged Spike. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

"Not doing it for you, pet," Spike said, shaking her off him, catching her eyes as he said, "Doing it cause I promised Red."

"Is it going to be okay to do it if she'd passed out?" Dawn asked, not sure how the whole becoming a vampire thing worked. "Will she be okay when it's all over? Will she get enough of your blood if she's not awake to drink? How will she feel when she wakes up? Will she be in pain?"

"It will be fine," he said as he shrugged out of his coat, tossing the duster on the floor behind him. "Pull down the blanket on the bed, kid. I'm not having my childe wake up on this dirty floor."

Dawn didn't want to let go of Willow's hand, fearing that the loss of contact might cause the redhead to think she was alone, giving her no reason to cling to her life for the time they still needed for her to be turned. She looked at Spike, a bit surprised to see the serious look on his face, the possessiveness in his eyes as he looked at Willow and spoke about her waking up. His childe. Those words comforted her in a way as she realized that things might be okay after all. She didn't want to make him angry, so she leaned over and pulled the covers without letting go of Willow. She watched him easily lift the redhead, carefully placing her in the middle of the bed. Dawn sat beside her, brushing her hair from her face as she spoke, her eyes watching Spike with curiosity, "Willow, honey, it's all going to be okay. Spike is going to turn you. You're not going to die. I mean, you'll die but not the forever and ever kind of death that would take you away from us. I asked him to do this because I knew you wouldn't want to die. I remember that night we stayed up and drank hot chocolate after Mom died, when you told me about Spike wanting to turn you. You told me that you would have said yes, that you would have agreed rather than die. Please don't hate me for doing this, Willow. I did it for you. I love you, Willow. You're my best friend."

"She said that?" Spike was looking at Dawn with curious eyes, having been listening to the girl's ramble. "She wanted me to turn her that night?"

Dawn nodded, "Yeah, she did. She said that she thought you'd have been a good sire and some other stuff that she didn't realize she was telling me until I'd already heard it."

"Other stuff?" he asked as his eyes moved over the redhead. She thought he'd be a good sire. Why did those words bring him happiness? He didn't really care if she wanted this, his actions completely selfish. It had taken him over a hundred years before he had found someone he wanted as a childe. He didn't want to lose her because it could very well be another hundred years of loneliness before he had found someone else.

Dawn shrugged, "Nothing really important. I hope she understands, that she isn't angry with me."

"I'll take care of her, Niblet," he promised as he moved to sit on the other side of Willow. He looked at the bullet wound and said, "I've got to get that out of her. It wouldn't matter if she heals with it inside, but I don't want my childe stuck with a piece of metal inside her like me."

"Oh, um okay," Dawn watched his hand move to the bullet wound, her stomach rolling as she realized he planned to dig the bullet out. She looked away, not able to watch that. She had no doubts that Spike would take care of Willow. He'd be a good father. Oh God, what did it say about her life when she was able to sit comfortably and think about her best friend being turned into a vampire? Her eyes widened as she realized the one thing she had forgotten. She turned to look at Spike, making a face when she found him licking the blood from around the bullet wound. His fangs were out and his eyes were yellow as he glanced at her, but she felt no fear. He'd never hurt her. She finally found her voice, asking, "What about a soul?"

"A soul?" he snarled as he licked her blood from his lips, having pulled out the bullet just prior to Dawn turning around. "No childe of mine will have a bloody soul!"

"Willow has to have a soul," Dawn insisted. "She wouldn't want to be turned if she didn't have one!"

"Some of that other stuff you two discussed, I suppose?" he said sharply, not liking the idea of his childe being cursed with a soul. As he thought about it, though, it suddenly seemed like a good idea. If she had a soul, she wouldn't consider him weak. She'd be more controllable, less likely to question his authority over her. It would make her manageable, give him a leash of sorts. Maybe something that could be removed one day, if he ever lost this damn implant. No clauses like Peaches, though. He bloody well planned to exercise full rights of sire with her, and didn't want to be concerned with her losing her soul everytime he felt like a shag.

"Yeah, we talked about it that night, but, even if we hadn't, I'd know that Willow would want to keep her soul. I was given memories of the whole Vampire Willow thing," Dawn said with a grimace, "Trust me when I say that we don't want Willow vamped without a soul. She was scary and liked to lick people and wore too much leather."

Spike arched his brow, having heard references to the event Dawn was speaking about, always finding the image rather tantalizing, "Sounds pretty good to me, luv, but I'll allow you to give her a soul. It will be easier for her to adjust if things aren't too changed."

"Thank you, Spike," Dawn said, knowing that, if he had refused, she still would have agreed to let him turn Willow. Any form of her friend was better than nothing. "Wait, do you know how to do a spell to anchor her soul?"

"Do I look like that poof Harry Potter?" he asked her as he rolled his eyes. "Spells and magic were Dru's thing, pet, not mine."

"Magic is Willow's thing," Dawn said in frustration. Suddenly, she smiled in relief, "Wait, I've got it."

Spike looked at Willow as she laid there unconscious. He could hear the breathing slowing down, knew that it was now or never. "Niblet, I've got to do this now or we'll lose her."

"How long will it be before she wakes up?" Dawn asked with as much bravery as she could muster even as her voice cracked from the fear and emotion of the last hour.

"She'll sleep awhile," he said as he brushed Willow's hair away from her neck. She was such a pretty little thing. "Can't really say. Several hours at least. Should be enough time for you to get the soul thing settled. If not, well, as long as I don't allow her to leave this room, she wouldn't have anything to really feel all that guilty over. Thank the Gods she won't be all broody and whiny like the King of the Poofs. I'd not have allowed that."

"That should be enough time," Dawn decided as she picked up the phone. She had one more call to make and then, hopefully, they could get the whole soul thing figured out. She sighed as she whispered, "Spike, do it. Make her your childe."

********************

Dawn watched Spike as he gently moved Willow's hair away from her neck, getting her ready for his bite. She looked away to dial the phone, knowing that there was no time to waste on the soul issue. Willow would be turned soon. They needed to know what to do about the soul. She was glad that she had a good memory, because she didn't want to leave the room to find this number. She'd only called it a couple of times, usually for Willow when she was laying on the redhead's bed listening to music or just talking. She was relieved when it was answered.

"Yeah?" an annoyed voice spoke into the phone.

"Anya? It's Dawn," Dawn said quietly, glad that she had thought of asking the demon about the soul, but also worried that Anya wouldn't even give her a chance to talk.

"What do you want?" Anya snapped, "Does your sister know you're talking to me? Because, last time I heard, she had forbidden me to be around you. I would assume that she wouldn't want you talking to me either. I don't want to hear her bitching because I answered the phone."

"Buffy's not here," Dawn said sharply, "and she can threaten all she wants. I don't care. I really need your help. You're the only person I could think of to ask since Giles in England and I just don't know anyone else that knows magic and stuff."

"You know Willow," Anya pointed out bluntly, a bit curious why the slayer's brat sister had called her. She hadn't spoken to any of them in weeks, not since the entire Spike incident. Well, she had met Willow for coffee a couple of times, but she tended to not classify the redhead witch as being part of *them* anymore.

"Anya, can you just come over?" Dawn said as she felt tears threatening again. "It's Willow. She's...oh God, I can't talk about this over the phone. Can you just come over?"

"Willow?" Anya's annoyance lessened as she heard the sadness in Dawn's voice. "You're crying, aren't you? I can hear the weepy sobbing sound when you speak. Why are you crying? What does crying have to do with Willow?"

"Damn it, Anya," Dawn snapped as the demon asked a dozen questions rather than getting in her car and driving over, "Willow needs your help. Can you stop talking long enough to come over here and help me?"

"You cursed," Anya said thoughtfully, "This must be serious. Slayer's not going to be happy if she finds me around her house. I like Willow, though. She's been nice to me when the others haven't. If she needs me, I'll be there as soon as I can. Just, keep that bitch sister of yours away from me."

"Buffy isn't even here," Dawn sighed, "I don't know where she is. I don't really care. Anya, hurry okay?"

"I said I'd be there as soon as I could, Brat," Anya said impatiently.

"Demon, hang up the phone and get your skinny ass over here now!" Spike snarled into the phone after he grabbed it from Dawn. "Niblet needs help with a soul restoration, got it?"

He hung up before Anya could respond, her eyes widening in realization as she dropped her phone. She grabbed her purse and ran out the door, her mind thinking over everything that happened in the last two minutes. Spike was there. Willow was involved. Dawn was crying. A soul restoration. Putting two and two together, Anya suspected that Willow was being turned at this very moment. She got in her car and took off, understanding how truly serious it was. Thank God she lived close to Buffy. Never thought she'd be saying that. One question kept nagging at her mind. What happened? She'd be there soon and then she'd get some answers.

********************

Spike turned his full attention to Willow after he hung up the phone. He'd wasted enough time. He forgot about everything except turning this beautiful creature into his childe. His hand moved across her cheek as he adjusted his position on the bed. It would have been much easier if she had been sitting up, but he knew it would be difficult enough to get his blood into her when she was laying down. He finally found a comfortable position that allowed him room to move but kept him close to her warm body. He could feel eyes on him, knew that Dawn was watching with the intensity that teenagers seemed to possess whenever it suited them best. He was tempted to send her into the other room, knew that Buffy would be beyond upset if she found her little sister had not only asked that Willow be turned, but had sat watching the entire event. He couldn't do that to Dawn, though, knowing how scared she must be at the moment. He wouldn't send her away, wouldn't make her go wait alone as he drained the life from the girl that had become a surrogate mother to her. Buffy would have to deal.

Aware of his audience, Spike did decide that he would do his best to conceal as much as possible from the teen, glad that his back would be to her as he drank from Willow. He pulled his T-shirt over his head, leaving him bare chested. He tossed the shirt on the floor as he leaned over Willow. Her white shirt was soaked with blood, turning it a shade of dark pink. He ripped the shirt down the middle, pushing it to either side as he looked at the bullet wound. The bleeding had slowed down greatly since he had moved her. She was still breathing, still hanging in there. He was proud of her spirit, glad to see that she was fighting her death. He leaned over and ran his tongue over the wound on her chest, knowing that it would leave a small scar even after she was turned. Her body would heal itself, but there would always be a reminder of what had taken her life. He ran his tongue from the wound across her upper chest to her neck. She tasted as good as he had imagined, rich and sweet with a dash of power.

Finally, his mouth was at her neck. He closed his eyes, listening to the slow beat of her heart, the sounds of her ragged breathing, concentrating on the scent and feel of her body. When it felt right, he opened his eyes and bit deep into her neck. His left hand moved up to touch her cheek as he fed, his yellow eyes narrowing as he felt her body arch up when he pierced her skin. When he felt the last of her life starting to leave her, he lifted his head. He used the letter opener he had found by her bed to cut his neck. Leaning back over, he pulled her head against his bleeding wound. It might have been easier to cut his wrist, but no childe of his would be turned in such a way. She would feed from his neck the way a true childe should. The act was the most intimate for his kind, the way he was turned and his sire before him. It showed his intentions for her. A wrist was for minions, for worthless childer that never realized their potential.

Time seemed to stop for him as he kept her head at his neck, knowing that she was taking his blood into her system. He nuzzled her neck, licking at the mark he had left as he waited. Distantly, he heard voices, realizing that the demon must have arrived. He didn't care. All he cared about at the moment was Willow. Finally, he felt her begin to respond. She moved slightly, just enough to let him know that it was working. He closed his eyes and moaned softly when he felt her tongue move over his neck. She licked him, moving against his chest as she moved her head to get a better angle. He could feel himself hardening as her teeth bit into his neck, at the first tentative swipe of her tongue, at the feel of her no longer warm hands on his back as she clung to him. It took all of his control not to take her then and there, to sink inside her and before she took her final breath. But, she was too weak, and that was something that he definitely didn't want an audience for, so instead he held her tightly as she started to drink, thinking of everything he would do to her when she was stronger, of everything he would teach her. When he felt that she had had enough, his hand tangled in her hair and he pulled her away. He looked into her eyes, letting her see the face of her sire before her eyes fluttered and the sleep overtook her.

Spike moved to lay beside her, pulling her cooling body against him tightly as his arm went around her waist. He rested his chin on the top of her head, tucking her against him as she slept. His eyes were a mixture of blue and yellow as he looked at the hand that was still holding on to his Red's. He followed it up until he met wide brown eyes. "Mine," he whispered possessively, his demon wanting to let everyone know that Red now belonged to him. He closed his eyes as he forced his demon down. When he opened them again, blue eyes looked at Dawn, seeing the confusion and fear mixed with relief.

"Is it..." Dawn hesitated in speaking, having been very surprised when Spike had growled at her, but understanding that something was happening that she didn't know anything about.

"She's my childe, Niblet," Spike said softly, knowing that the girl needed reassurances that it had worked. "She'll sleep for awhile."

"Thank you, Spike," Dawn whispered as she moved to lay against Willow's other side, her hand still holding tightly to the redhead's. She snuggled closer, not caring that it was a now cool body instead of a warm one. All she cared about was that Willow would wake up soon and would never leave her.

"Spike," Anya said quietly as she looked at the three people laying on the bed, having been silent since she had entered the room to find Spike in the process of turning Willow, but knowing that they had mentioned a soul restoration and there was no time to waste since she had no idea what to do, "what happened?"

********************

"I don't know what happened," Dawn said before Spike could answer. She sighed as she explained, "When I got home from school, I found them. Tara was dead and Willow was dying."

Anya frowned as she looked at the broken glass, "It looks like they were shot through the window." Her eyes moved along the floor to focus on Tara, "Should we do something about Tara?"

Dawn closed her eyes as she nodded, whispering, "I didn't want to call anyone because I thought they might try to take Willow. I didn't want to leave Tara there, but I didn't know what else to do."

Anya moved towards the blonde witch, picking up a blanket and covering her. She looked back at the bed, watching as Spike pulled Willow even closer, his eyes watching Dawn carefully, narrowing every time the teen brushed against Willow. She was surprised at his control, knowing it must be difficult for him to tolerate Dawn being that close to his new childe. He never stopped surprising her. Just when she thought she had an idea who he was, he'd go and do something that completely changed her opinion. It was probably one of the reasons she liked him. She looked back at Dawn and said, "We can call someone to pick up Tara's body later. She's not going anywhere, and I want to know about this soul thing."

"Anya, that's horrible!" Dawn said as she sat up, glaring at the demon. "Tara's dead and you act like it's nothing. How can you be so uncaring?"

"I'm a demon, kid," Anya said slowly, telling herself that it wouldn't do any good to get angry because Dawn was probably right in a way. She wasn't used to dealing with this death thing, but she did know that she wasn't all that upset about Tara dying. She'd never been particularly fond of the blonde witch, tolerating her for Willow's sake. She felt bad that Willow had lost her lover, but her main concern at the moment was this soul thing that Dawn had mentioned. She'd never done any kind of soul restorations, though she supposed there must be some out there. Angelus was the only one she was familiar with and, somehow, she didn't think Spike would be wanting the same curse if he was going to be a hands-on sire like she suspected. That meant she was starting from scratch, and it would most likely require calling in some favors that people had forgotten they owed her. "My main concern at the moment is figuring out this soul thing so that we can help Willow. Tara's dead but Willow's still alive, sort of, and she needs our help."

"Stop bickering," Spike growled, lifting his head long enough to glare at them both. "You'll disturb Red's sleep if you keep this nonsense up. I don't want to hear any more, got it?"

"Sorry, Spike," Dawn whispered. She looked back at Anya and realized that she had been snapping at the demon because she felt guilty for letting Tara just lay on the floor while she worried about Willow. The demon was right, though. Tara was gone, and Dawn would miss her, but her soul had moved on. Willow wasn't dead, and she needed them. "Anya, do you know anything about restoring Willow's soul?"

"I have no idea, but I know some people that might," Anya said bluntly. "It might take awhile to get some answers. How much time do we have?"

"She'll probably sleep for a few hours. I'll feed her when she wakes up," Spike thought back to his own turning and the few that he had seen in the years since. He didn't have a lot of experience to draw from, but he vividly recalled his first few weeks of undeath. Angelus. Looking down into Willow's pretty face as he pushed those memories back, he continued, "she'll not feed on her own until I decide she's ready. I assume the soul will change things, though. Bagging it won't be the same as hunting and enjoying the kill, but it will still take some time before she's ready."

"Um, guys, what if Buffy comes home before she's souled?" Dawn spoke up as the thought occurred to her, not liking the idea that her sister could home and start bitching before they could finish the ceremony or spell or whatever a soul restoration would require.

"Bloody hell, the daft bitch would interfere and ruin everything," Spike muttered, not believing that he'd forgotten the slayer. He moved on the bed, pulling Willow with him, farther away from Dawn. He wasn't going to lose his childe, not now that he finally had her. She was his.

"Can Willow be moved?" Anya asked as she paced back and forth, giving the entire situation her full attention. She felt important, liked having the responsibility of finding a way to save Willow's soul. She had grown fond of the redhead since Buffy's death, the two becoming friends of sorts. She now had a way to repay the girl for her kindness, for not turning her back on her after the wedding fiasco. Anya considered very few people friends, but she was loyal to a fault to those precious few. She'd move heaven and hell to find a way to fix Willow, and that was a promise. All she had to do was get things calmed down a bit so she could start working on it without worrying about Slutty coming home.

Spike nodded, "Yes, I can carry her. Good idea, Demon."

"The name is Anya," Anya rolled her eyes, "it's a short name, real easy to say, and don't growl at me, Vampire! I'm not easily impressed by a fang face and growling. We can take her to my apartment, but bring a blanket. I don't want blood on my sheets. They're new."

********************

"I'll get a blanket from my room," Dawn said as she got to her feet, reluctant to let go of Willow's hand, but knowing that Spike would hold the girl while she was gone. She looked at Willow, and noticed the torn shirt for the first time. "I'll also pack her something to wear so she can change when she wakes up."

"She's annoying," Anya said after Dawn left the room. She looked at Spike and asked seriously, "Do you want to give Willow a soul or is this the brat talking?"

"Red wanted a soul," Spike finally replied, not liking the idea of having to explain himself to anyone but deciding that he'd better keep the demon happy, "I'm allowing it. It will balance the chip, keep her in line. Do you think you can find a spell that works?"

"If it's out there, I can find it," Anya promised. "I just wanted to make sure this was something you wanted before I wasted my time. I think it's a good decision, not that it really matters. An unsouled Willow wouldn't be a good thing. Been there, saw that, got the humanity."

"I don't want any restrictions on her soul," Spike said quietly, wanting to discuss this before Dawn came back. "No clauses or chances of losing it. She's mine, and I don't plan on losing her every time we shag."

"Buffy's going to be so pissed," Anya said with a slightly pleased smile. She thought Spike deserved much better than the blonde bimbo, and she was glad that he finally had something to occupy him. She wanted to ask him if he had any idea what he was doing, knowing that he had never sired a childe before and that he was the youngest in his family, but she didn't want to make him angry so she kept her mouth shut for once. She glanced at the door, speaking before Dawn could come back, "I'll make sure there aren't clauses and that it's permanent before we do it. You get final approval."

"Good," he gave her a half smile before his eyes darted to the door. "Niblet's coming back. Discussion over."

"I got a blanket," Dawn said as she came back into the room. She'd gone to the bathroom and checked the answering machine to make sure that Buffy hadn't called. She hadn't. There had been no messages. She was relieved that they were leaving, if she were honest with herself. She was scared how her sister was going to react, but she also didn't really care what Buffy thought. She loved Buffy, but they hadn't really gotten along since her sister had come back. She was sick of waiting for Buffy to get over everything and deal with being alive. Buffy didn't care who she hurt, using Spike and blaming Willow and ignoring Dawn, so the teen had decided for once that she was putting herself first. She might be selfish for having Willow turned, but she didn't care. Willow had trusted her with the secret that she would have chosen becoming Spike's childe versus death and she had just used that knowledge. As for Spike, he hadn't denied her request and she knew he would have if it hadn't been something he wanted himself. Spike liked her, but no one could force him into doing something he didn't want to do, especially something as life altering as claiming a childe, so she wasn't worried about that.

He'd be good to Willow, he'd take care of her and teach her and help her. And maybe siring Willow would help him get over Buffy and move on with his life. She wanted to see the blond vampire happy, just like she wanted Willow to be happy. Gods, she hoped Willow wasn't angry about being turned. She couldn't handle it if Willow blamed her, if the redhead shut her out of her life. No thinking about that now. Too much to do, too much to worry about that was more important than what ifs. She finished packing a bag for Willow as she turned her attention to the matter at hand. There would be time for thinking about happiness and the future after Willow had a soul and was awake. She glanced at the clock, surprised to see that it had barely been an hour since she had come home. Sixty minutes and life was never going to be the same again for any of them. She sighed, running a hand over her face as she said, "I think I've got everything."

"I'll drive," Anya volunteered, knowing that Spike wouldn't want to let Willow go even for the short drive to her apartment.

"Gotta take my car," Spike reminded, "tinted windows."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot it was still daytime," Anya frowned. She looked at Dawn, "Can you drive my car to my place?"

"Me?" Dawn's eyes widened in surprise. "I don't have a license."

"So? Neither do I," Anya smiled slightly before tossing the teen her keys. "You saved Willow, you can drive a car."

"Okay," Dawn smiled briefly before she remembered what still needed to be done. She took a deep breath, knowing that she owed it to Willow and Tara to be there, even if she was scared and worried. Like Anya said, she had saved Willow, she could do this. She moved to pick up the phone, explaining to Anya, "I'm going to call an ambulance to come get Tara. I should be here when they come. I know it's just a body and that Tara is gone, but I don't want to leave her alone like that, waiting for the ambulance. Willow wouldn't want that, so I'll be over when they leave."

"I'll see what I can find out about a soul restoration," Anya said, deciding that maybe Dawn was a bit more mature than she had given her credit, even if she was a whiny little brat. She listened as Dawn called 911, telling them that she had come from school and found her friend dead from a gun shot wound. Anya picked up Spike's leather duster, frowning at the weight. Damn, it was heavy. She got his keys from the pocket and then tossed the coat to him, careful to keep it away from Willow. All she needed to do was hit the girl by mistake and find herself at the receiving end of a pissed off sire. Nope, not this demon. She headed for the door, telling them, "Spike, I'll go get the back car door open so you can make a run for it."

"They said they'd be here soon so you'd better hurry. Here, you can cover Willow with this blanket so the sun doesn't get her," Dawn said as she moved to lay it over the redhead. She was startled when he growled at her, his eyes narrowing as he blocked her from getting near Willow.

"*I'll* shield her," he said, eyes flashing yellow at the suggestion that he couldn't take proper care of his childe. He managed to put his coat on without completely releasing Willow. It was important that her demon feel him near her during this time, it would make things easier for her to accept him when she woke. Once he had the coat on, he stood, lifting Willow into his arms carefully. He covered her small frame with his coat, tucking her head against his shoulder. When he was satisfied that he could duck and run to the car without risking exposure for either of them, he glanced at Dawn, "Niblet, can you bring that stuff down?"

"Sure," Dawn said softly, glad to see that he wasn't angry with her. When he had growled at her, she thought she must have upset him. She picked up the blanket and backpack and followed him down stairs. She watched him run to the car, following him as she tossed the stuff in the front seat. She looked at Anya, unaware that her eyes were still full of confusion, and said, "Take care of them, Anya."

"See you soon, Brat," Anya said with a half smile before she started Spike's car and took off, leaving Dawn with the awful task of dealing with Tara's body as well as the possibility of dealing with Buffy if the slayer happened to show up before the teen could get away.

********************

Dawn walked back into the house to wait for the ambulance and the police. She sat on the sofa, letting the reality of the past hour finally hit her. Tara was dead. Willow was undead. Buffy wasn't returning her calls, even though she knew her sister had the day off from work. She had trusted Spike and Anya, a vampire with an implant and a demon with a grudge, with Willow's life and soul. She didn't regret her decision at all. Despite their problems, she believed that Anya did like Willow and would do whatever it took to find a soul restoration. As for Spike, well, he was her second favorite person in the world and she would trust him with her own life so there were never any doubts in her mind that he would take care of Willow.

She closed her eyes and sighed as she tried to bring up any planted memories of turnings that she might have been given. There weren't any. Buffy had never witnessed a turning, had never experienced the rearing of a childe. It was weird to think about it that way, Dawn realized. To think that Spike was now Willow's father, her sire, that Willow was a childe. She had snuck enough peaks at the watcher diaries and the books that Giles would keep hidden on the top shelf of the book case at the Magic Box to have a pretty good idea what sort of relationship would now exist between Willow and Spike. It seemed to be normal for a sire and childe to have a very physical relationship. The books had mentioned violence and training and blood. She knew this would be different, though, because Willow would have a soul and Spike wasn't able to kill humans. She was curious what was going to happen, had to admit a small hope that the physical stuff would lead to a happily ever after type of relationship between her two favorite people, vampires she corrected mentally. Then she felt guilty for even considering such a thought when Tara was laying dead upstairs and Willow wasn't even souled yet.

Granted, it had always been her fondest desire to see Willow and Spike involved, that one wish that was always in her mind whenever she watched them interact, when she watched the people they both chose to love hurt them, when she realized what a great team those two made. And she had seen glimpses of desire and something else from both of them despite Spike's constant adoration of her sister and Willow's feelings for Tara. She didn't doubt that both of them did have love for the object of their affections, but she had always thought that it didn't seem right. She loved Buffy and had loved Tara, but they hadn't been right for Spike and Willow. Willow and Spike together, that had seemed right to her. She'd figured it was just wishful thinking on her part because she loved them both, but now she had to think she had been pretty smart. Watching Spike this afternoon, seeing the look in his eyes when he had held Willow, well Dawn knew that there had been something more than just a sire holding his childe. She hoped she hadn't been seeing things. It would be so much easier for Willow if Spike did actually care about her even in just a tiny way. Over time, it might could grow into that happily ever after Dawn was dying to see.

The teen glanced at the clock, rolling her eyes when she noticed that it had been ten minutes since she had called 911. She guessed they weren't very concerned since she had mentioned that her friend was dead. She picked up the phone and dialed Buffy's number again, listening as it started to ring. With a frown, she moved her head away from the phone. What was that? She got up, leaving the phone on the couch as she followed the ringing towards the kitchen. Her eyes widened when she found Buffy's phone laying on the cabinet. She picked it up, noticing that it mentioned voice mail messages. Buffy never went anywhere without her phone. She even took it with her if she went for a run in the mornings. Dawn went back to the living room, grabbing the phone from the couch and stopping it before she got the message part. She dialed Xander's number, cursing him for not carrying a cell phone when she got his message recorder. She glanced at the clock, deciding to try him at work. She thought he had mentioned having a short day today, but maybe he had stayed longer. She briefly spoke to the man that answered, a bit more worried when she hung up after hearing that Xander had indeed had the afternoon off.

She assumed that Xander was with Buffy. They had been spending a lot of time together the last couple of weeks and she knew her sister had mentioned the previous night about meeting Xander for lunch today. What could have happened, though, that would have caused Buffy to leave without her phone? Would this day ever end? Just when she felt proud of herself for being mature at handling everything, Tara's death, Willow's rebirth, the responsibility of looking for a soul restoration spell, now she had to find Buffy's phone and have a fresh wave of worry and uncertainty. She felt like just sitting on the floor and crying and screaming and having the biggest fit of her life, but she couldn't do that. She was needed right now, and that far outweighed her desire to throw a tantrum. Before she could think about it anymore, she heard a knock on her door, seeing the paramedics waiting on the porch along with a policeman. She gathered up her strength and went to answer the door.

"Are you Dawn Summers?" the officer asked as he looked at the teenager that had answered the door.

She nodded, "Yes. My friend is upstairs. She was shot. I called when I found her, after I got home from school. I don't know what happened, but she's not breathing."

"It's okay," the officer said as he entered the house, motioning to the paramedics to go retrieve the body. "What time did you find her?"

Dawn shrugged as she wiped the tears from her eyes, "It was after school. I got off the bus after 3:30, but I didn't go upstairs right away. I didn't expect anyone to be home so I was surprised to the door closed. I knocked, thinking maybe Tara was sick. When I went in, well, I found her laying there. So much blood. I covered her with a blanket and called 911."

"I believe your friend was shot earlier today," the officer said as he finished making notes. "We received a call concerning a female gunshot victim this afternoon. She was in the back, and we never checked the house."

"A female victim?" Dawn's eyes widened with horror as she whispered, "My sister's not here. She's usually home by this time unless she's working and I found her phone in the kitchen."

"I've got her name here somewhere," the officer said, looking through his notepad. "She had a man with her, a friend or fiance I think. He said her name was Muffy or maybe...."

"Buffy," Dawn said softly, shaking her head. "No, it can't be Buffy. She was shot? Is she okay? Where is she?"

"Calm down," the officer said as he glanced at the paramedics that were removing the body of the dead girl. "It looks like the gunshot victim earlier was this girl's sister. Do you have any words on her condition?"

"She was taken to Sunnydale General," the female paramedic said. "Last time we were there, I think she was in surgery. She wasn't critical, so she's probably in recovery by now."

"Do you want us to take you to the hospital?" the male paramedic asked the upset teen, feeling sorry for her. Coming home from school and finding your friend dead and then hearing that your sister was shot too.

"No, it's okay," Dawn said as she wiped away fresh tears. "I called a friend to come pick me up after I found Tara. I'll have her take me to visit Buffy."

"If you need anything, be sure to give us a call," the officer said as he gave her a smile and followed the paramedics outside.

Dawn immediately ran to the phone, dialing the hospital to see how Buffy was doing. Why hadn't Xander called? He hadn't even let a message on the machine or tried to get in touch with Willow. She finally managed to get someone on the phone that could give her some answers, relieved to hear that Buffy was going to be okay. She'd been shot but they had managed to stop the bleeding and she would remain in the hospital for a couple of days for observation but should be fine. Dawn hung up the phone, glad to hear that her sister was going okay. She was angry with Xander for not calling, but she knew he was probably freaked out. She called his apartment and left a message on his machine, letting him know that she was aware of what had happened, that she was going to stay with a friend and would try to get to the hospital to see Buffy the following day. She mentioned that she would take Buffy's phone with her if he needed to get in touch. After she hung up, she grabbed her backpack and Buffy's cell phone, taking Anya's keys and heading outside. She wondered if she should go by the hospital, but decided that it was rather pointless at the moment. The nurse she had spoken to had said her sister would be out for the rest of today, so there wasn't any need to go to the hospital yet. Besides, she had to help Anya find a spell to save Willow's soul.

********************

Anya was glad to see her apartment building on the horizon. She wasn't very used to driving and Spike's car was just a pain in the ass. She pulled to a stop, glancing in the back seat and getting Spike's attention, fighting a smile as she caught him just looking at Willow's face as if he didn't believe she was there in his arms. He'd had a rough hour or so, she realized. It meant a lot in his community to create a true childe, and, to acquire one so suddenly, well, he was probably still trying to adjust to the change. She wasn't very surprised that he had chosen Willow, having seen and heard enough over her years with them all to realize that Spike had always seemed interested in turning Willow. He had loved Buffy, wanted to be loved by the slutty blonde slayer for some ridiculous reason she wouldn't even try to understand, but his demon hadn't been able to seem to resist the pretty redhead. Drunken kidnapping, seeking her out after escaping the initiative, and several dozen other little things she had noticed throughout the years. No, it wasn't very surprising to see him now holding Willow so possessively. Anya decided to try to be a little nicer to him, knowing he deserved a bit of a break, speaking softly as she said, "We're here."

"You upstairs or down?" he asked as he looked up, having not realized they had arrived. He'd never been to the demon's apartment, just knowing that she moved in a few months ago after leaving the moron.

"Upstairs," Anya motioned to a window beside a tree, "right there. It's not that far and there is some tree coverage so you should be fine."

"Go on up and get everything unlocked," Spike said as his blue eyes looked at her, "motion from your window and I'll bring her up."

"I'll get this blanket on my bed," Anya decided, "then you can just lay her right down. I suppose I'll be sleeping on the sofa for the next few days, but I won't complain. You and Will can have the bed, but try not to do any of your weird vampire things, okay? This blanket isn't very thick and, while it will keep my new sheets from getting bloody, it probably wouldn't protect them from a large amount of blood."

"Would you just go unlock the damn door?" Spike growled.

"Hey, I could make you use the sofa bed so quit the growling," Anya said giving him a glare, wanting to remind him that she was being very nice and understanding about all this. "I thought you'd want some privacy from the brat in case you *do* have to start being all sire like. Excuse me for not wanting to deal with Buffy's bitching at her sister watching you and Willow do whatever it is that sire and childe do! You should be thanking me."

"Anya, please go unlock the door," Spike said sharply before lowering his voice and adding, "I appreciate you thinking ahead and giving me and mine some privacy."

"I bet that really hurt you," Anya observed, deciding not to push him too much. He looked like he was straining for control at the moment, his hands holding Willow against him as he nuzzled her neck, his tongue moving over the bite mark as his eyes flashed yellow at the delay in getting his childe settled down for the remainder of her sleep. She gave him a large smile as she said, "I won't make you thank me again until I find a soul restoration that works. Promise."

Before he could respond, she was out of the car and running towards the stairs that led up to her apartment. He fought the impulse to get in the front seat and drive away, taking his daughter with him as he got as far from Sunnydale as he could. He was testing every limitation of his patience, resisting his desire to lock himself and Willow into a room and not leave for days, until he was satisfied that she respected him as her sire and understood what was expected of her. It wasn't fair that he had to share her with those two women. She was his, only his. But, he had had time to think about it and he knew the soul was a good idea. It would prevent her from taking dangerous risks, would keep with him for eternity. She couldn't look down on him for having the implant when she, herself, would have a soul. He was curious for her to wake, to see what it felt like to look into the eyes of his first true childe. He wondered if she would fight him, if she would accept it. He wondered if, when he looked into her eyes, he'd suddenly understand what being a sire involved.

He remembered his first few weeks vividly. Angelus had taken him from Drusilla even before he had woken, leaving him alone in a damp room for an entire night with no idea what had happened to him, hungry and confused. When the vampire had come to him, the teaching began. Fighting, shagging, hunting, pain. He could remember it all. The feel of Angelus inside him, rough and hard, the taste of blood in his mouth, rich and powerful as it had flowed from the elder vampire. The hatred he had felt with every sting of the whip, the love he had felt with every gentle caress and whispered word of praise. It was three weeks before Angelus had allowed him to see his true sire, the dark haired vampire having taken over sire duties from his daughter. It had been then that Spike had felt it, felt the calling that a childe had to its sire. He'd felt a slight stirring with Angelus, the vampire being the sire of his sire, but it had been nothing compared to the power of the connection between him and Drusilla. He'd not been able to feel that, to learn that because Angelus had chosen to rear him personally. He had felt cheated, hating Angelus even more for denying him the pleasure of having his true sire teach him. Now, he could look back and realize he had been lucky that Angelus had taken an interest in him. He'd have never survived if Drusilla had been his teacher. He'd have been weak and dependent, not able live without help. No, he could thank Angelus for making him strong and forcing him to survive without help.

He wanted to give Willow that same power, that same strength that Angelus had given him, but he kept dwelling on the knowledge that he had hated Angelus as much as he had loved him. He didn't want her to hate him. He wanted her to be as devoted and as loyal as he was to Drusilla, or as he had been before his true sire had turned away from him all those years ago by choosing her own sire. Even with a soul, she would need to learn to hunt and fight and survive. He could teach her these things just as he could teach her about the strength of the bond between sire and childe, about so many other things that flitted in his mind as he held her cool body against him. Soon, she would wake, and then he might understand what was expected of him.

He drew himself from his thoughts as his blue eyes looked at the upstairs window. He saw the demon girl standing there, impatiently pacing back and forth. He had forgotten for a moment where he was, forgotten everything except his desire to be a good sire and the comforting feel of his childe in his arms, her head resting against his bare chest. He moved her in his arms until she was tucked close against him. He opened the car door, shielding Willow's body from the sun's rays as he got out. He kicked the door shut and moved quickly, reaching Anya's door within a minute. He glanced at her, waiting for a second before remembering that she was no longer human. He didn't need an invitation. Instead of walking inside, he arched a brow at her, respecting that it was her home and that she was allowing him and his childe admittance.

Anya looked at him in surprise when he stood there knowing that, since she was a demon, he didn't have to wait for her to ask him in. She studied him silently, her eyes widening slightly when she met his eyes, realizing that he was giving her the opportunity to issue the invitation. And again he surprised her. She considered leaving him standing there for a minute since he had decided to ignore her signal earlier, but she knew that Willow needed to lay down and she didn't want to risk Spike's wrath if something caused his childe to wake sooner than needed. She was also very, very pleased that he respected her enough to give her the opportunity to invite them in. She smiled as she spoke the words, "Willow, Spike, come in."

********************

Spike carried Willow into Anya's apartment, his eyes looking around quickly with curiosity before focusing on the demon, "Where's the bedroom?"

"Through that door," Anya nodded, following closely behind him. "I put the blanket down and puffed up the pillows for her head."

Spike carefully laid Willow onto the bed, making sure her head was centered on the pillow. When he was confident that she was settled, he shrugged his duster off and kicked off his boots before crawling up the bed to lay beside her. He snuggled against her, his eyes checking her for any signs of alertness. She was still out, probably would be for a few more hours. Glancing at her torn shirt, he frowned. The material was coated in dried blood, the bullet hole easily noticeable. It was not what he wanted her wearing when she woke up. Considering the circumstances of her turning, this reminder might agitate her demon, something he didn't want to deal with along with everything else. He looked up at Anya, noticing the woman watching him with a slight smile. He scowled, wondering what she found so damn amusing. He decided that he was better off not knowing considering the source. He asked, "I have a shirt in the back seat of my car. Could you go get it for me?"

"That nasty old red and black one you always wear?" Anya asked as she wrinkled her nose, wondering why he wanted to put his shirt on. She rather approved of the view as it was, but she figured he must have his reasons, even it was rather selfish of him to deprive her of the view of his bare chest.

"Can you please bring it to me?" Spike asked impatiently, wondering if he was going to be forced to hear a commentary from the silly bitch every time she spoke.

"Since you said please," Anya smiled sweetly, watching the twitch in Spike's cheek and deciding that it might be wise to give him some time alone before he snapped and remembered that she was a demon that he could hurt without remorse. "When I get back, I'll start making some calls about that soul thing!"

Spike stopped her, "Wait, before you go down, could you get me some water and a cloth?"

"How much do you need?" Anya asked, finding it rather sweet that he seemed to want to get Willow cleaned up but knowing that was not the right thing to say at the moment.

"Enough to wash this blood off my childe," he said slowly, the patience wearing thin.

"Okay dokey," Anya said as she went to the kitchen and found a bowl. She took it back into her bathroom, filling it with warm water. When she had it nearly to the top, she grabbed a wash cloth and some shower gel for him to use in case he needed some soap. She took the materials back into her bedroom and watched as he sat up and spread his legs, moving Willow's body to rest between them. He was so careful with her, Anya observed, more gentle than she'd ever seen him before. When he was ready, she handed him the bowl and cloth, tossing the soap beside him. She decided not to give him a warning about spilling the water on her bed, figuring she'd have a higher chance of survival if she simply went down to get his shirt without comment.

Spike was relieved when Anya left the room, hating having her eyes on him watching his every move. He brushed Willow's hair behind her head before he wet the cloth. He was glad that it was soft, not wanting to use a rough rag on his girl. He opened the soap that Anya had given him, glad she had thought of it. The blood was dried and crusting and would be much easier to remove with some soap. He inhaled the sweet scent of apples as he squirted the gel onto the cloth. Rubbing it between his thumb and fingers, he spread it onto the cloth before moving it along Willow's chest around the wound that was nearly healed. He'd finished cleaning the wound by the time Anya arrived with his shirt. He nodded at her, watching as she laid it on the bed within his reach.

"Here it is. If you don't need anything else, I'm going to start making some calls," Anya said as she moved towards the door to the living room. She grabbed her address book, hoping that she could get some answers.

"Make your calls, pet," Spike said with a quick smile before turning his attention back to Willow. He finished cleaning the blood that had dripped down from the bullet wound, dropping the dirty rag into the bowl and placing the bowl onto the bed side table. He turned back to Willow, removing her shirt and bra, tossing them both on the floor. His eyes moved appreciatively over her body, taking in the light scattering of freckles that dotted her pale flesh. Her breasts were firm and pert, a little more than a handful he figured. Her nipples were a lovely shade of rosy pink, hardening as they met the cool air in the apartment. He ran his thumb over them, his hand moving to squeeze her breast. His tongue ran along his lower lip as his eyes narrowed, nostrils flaring as he caressed her. Shaking his head suddenly, he dropped his hand. What the hell was he doing? Molesting her as she slept. She was his childe, and belonged to him, but he felt rather like a pervert for groping her like this. Not better than Angelus, he thought in disgust. Turning away from the beautiful sight of her half naked body, he picked up his shirt and slid it onto her arms, buttoning the middle three buttons only before moving back to lay down on the bed. He put the pillows behind his back, getting into a position that he knew would be comfortable for the new few hours. He kept Willow between his legs, moving her up so that her head was against his shoulder, her hair touching his cheek as he rested against her. He sighed, closing his eyes as he took a moment to finally relax.

********************

Dawn pulled into an empty parking place at Anya's apartment nearly thirty minutes after she had left her house. She had felt like there was a neon sign on top of the car that proclaimed to everyone she passed that she was an underage driver without a license. She had only driven a few times since she hadn't even had time to get her permit, and those times had always been with Willow, though Xander had let her drive once. She had only managed to make it to Anya's by imagining Willow beside her giving her instructions on what to do. It hadn't been that awful. No one had honked at her, but she hadn't driven faster than twenty miles an hour, making the ten minute journey nearly twice as long. Then, she'd forgotten which set of apartments Anya lived in, having only been to the demon's new place a couple of times, always staying in the car when Willow had run inside. Buffy hadn't wanted her having anything to do with Anya once the woman became a demon again, and she knew her sister probably would have bitched if she was aware that Dawn had even been in the parking lot of the apartments. She'd finally found the right buildings after deciding to simply look for Spike's car instead of trying to figure out which complex out of the half dozen in this block of streets was the right one.

Now, she was sitting in the car trying to remember where Willow had gone when she had visited before. Dawn knew that it was upstairs, and she was pretty sure the redhead had gone to the right. Sighing in frustration, Dawn hit the steering wheel. She wished she'd have thought about this before Anya had left. She'd been too busy thinking about waiting for the ambulance to worry about knowing which apartment to visit. She glanced at Buffy's phone, noting that it was still silent. She couldn't believe that Xander still hadn't called. Did he somehow think that no one else would care that Buffy was in the hospital? It had been two hours now since she had gotten off the bus. The shooting had to have happened even before that, which meant it had been several hours that he hadn't bothered to call and tell anyone what was happening. She knew that Xander tended to block out everything when he was around her sister, something that rather annoyed her personally and had to have driven Anya nuts, but this was ridiculous. If she hadn't had more important things to worry about, like making sure Willow received a soul to go with the demon, she'd have called and left a very mean message on his machine. As it was, she was content that Buffy was going to be okay and didn't feel like wasting her time on Xander. If anything, as bad as it was to think, it would give her something to use if he tried to throw a fit about Willow's turning. She might be young, but she knew that having ammunition in arguments with Buffy and Xander was a good thing. Besides, they'd probably be so surprised she was finally speaking back that she hoped they'd shut up and leave her alone.

She was pretty proud of herself. She had to think that, considering the circumstances, she had done a pretty damn good job of taking care of things. She had acted with maturity, something that Buffy was always whining that she lacked, and personal insight as well as putting a lot of thought into her decision. She had made the only choice in the circumstances, the best choice. Willow wouldn't be gone, she'd still have her soul, and Spike would have a childe, something to take his mind off the disaster that was her sister, and maybe a chance at a happy future. She really hoped that Willow would be okay. Oh, she knew there would be some differences. No more sunny days at the beach or matinee movies, and no more sharing food since the redhead would now be on a liquid diet, but maybe there wouldn't be that many more changes.

She knew she was going to have to thank Anya. If it hadn't been for the demon, they'd have had no way of finding a soul restoration. They'd also have been stuck at the house since Spike's crypt was definitely not the place for Willow to wake up. Since Buffy would probably be in the hospital for a couple of days, it wouldn't have been as bad as it could have been, but it was still better to get away from the room where Tara had died and where, technically, Willow had died too. She didn't know a lot about vampires, but Dawn figured that it wouldn't have been easy for the redhead to wake up there. Especially if she woke up before they found an answer to their soul problem. Dawn finally picked up the phone and dialed Anya's number, knowing that she wouldn't figure out which apartment was right by just sitting and looking at the windows.

"Yeah?" Anya said as she clicked over.

"Anya, it's Dawn. I'm in the parking lot, but I don't know which apartment you're in," Dawn said in an apologetic tone.

"Oh, it's you. I thought someone might have been calling me with an answer," Anya explained. "Did you hurt my car?"

"Your car is fine," Dawn said with a smile.

"What did you need? I'm on the other line to Cairo, but Kritust has an 800 number so it isn't costing me. You *are* going to split the cost of all these calls, aren't you? I mean, I like Willow and want her to have a soul, but it looks like I'm going to be making calls all over the world and, unfortunately, not many of my acquaintances have toll free numbers."

"Um, yeah, I guess I can try to find a job even though most people don't hire fifteen year olds and give you all the money I make since I doubt Buffy will talk to me once she finds out that I asked Spike, her former lover and someone she wants out of her life, to turn her best friend and then asked you, someone she hates, no offense, to help find a soul restoration spell, much less hand over who knows how much money to pay for half your phone bill!" Dawn said as she rolled her eyes.

"I see your point," Anya said thoughtfully. "I know. I will hire you to work at the Magic Box part time after school and weekends and you can pay me part of your check each week."

"Anya, where is your apartment? We can talk about phone bills after we get Willow her soul, when I get to your place, which will be when you tell where it is! Besides, aren't you on the other line to Cairo?" Dawn reminded.

"I'll go to the window and wave," Anya decided. "We can talk about you working for me after we get this soul business finished."

"Okay," Dawn said as she got out of the car and grabbed her bag, finally noticing a curtain move and seeing Anya waving, "I see you! I'll be up in a minute."

********************

Dawn entered the apartment within minutes of getting off the phone with the demon. She was glad to see that the door had been left open for her, closing it behind her and automatically locking it as her eyes found Anya. The woman was talking on the phone, speaking some strange language that Dawn had never heard spoken, pacing back and forth impatiently as she kept interrupting whomever she was speaking to. The teenager put her bag down and moved quietly towards the open door of the bedroom, not wanting to disturb Anya when she was dealing with serious matters. She stopped in the doorway, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she took in the sight of Spike laying on the bed, Willow laying against him. The blond vampire's eyes were closed, his cheek resting against Willow's red hair, giving the impression of sleeping. Dawn couldn't resist a small smile at how normal it seemed to watch those two snuggled together.

She noticed that Willow was wearing Spike's favorite shirt, the red and black one he was rarely seen without. He must have changed her from the torn and bloody shirt, something that was a relief to Dawn. Her eyes took in the room, seeing the bowl of dirty water on the bedside table, not at all surprised that Spike had cleaned Willow up. He would be good to Willow, would take care of her always. She looked away from them, taking a chance to look around. The room itself was nice. That was a bit of a surprise to her. She'd never expected Anya to have a tasteful room. Of course, she'd never really known a lot about the demon except that she appeared to love Xander, money, and remembering her past glory days as a demon. She also knew the woman was honest, blunt to a point of annoyance, and loyal to those chosen few she considered friends. Dawn wasn't one of those select few, but she knew that Willow was, that being the only thing that had given her the courage to call Anya in the first place.

Dawn moved towards the bed, not wanting to disturb Spike's sleep. He was probably as exhausted as she was, both of them having had a pretty stressful past few hours. He'd also lost a lot of blood when he had turned Willow, and she figured that must be pretty tiring. She picked up the bowl of water and went into the bathroom, rinsing it before it was ruined. She also rinsed the wash cloth, laying it across the top of the shower curtain to dry. It was probably ruined, the blood thick and staining, but she thought it might prove useful once it was dry. It wasn't like there wouldn't be more blood to wash away in the future. She went back into the bedroom, picking up Willow's bloody shirt and putting it in the trash can. She didn't want any reminders of what had happened around when Willow woke up, figuring it might be easier for the redhead. She looked over the two sleeping vampires, wondering if she should lay a blanket over them. Deciding that the coolness of the air conditioning probably wasn't a bother to them, she decided not to risk waking them up. Instead, she moved to sit down in a chair to wait for Anya to finish her conversation. Her dark eyes looked at her two friends as she became lost in thought about the shooting, about Buffy, about Willow, about vampires.

"Kritust doesn't know anything," Anya grumbled as she entered her bedroom, the silent phone in her hand, a scowl on her face. She looked at Dawn, seeing the sad and tired look in the teen's eyes. She thought about what she knew concerning humans and grief, which wasn't a lot, and suddenly asked, "Do you want some hot chocolate?"

"What?" Dawn drew herself from her thoughts to look at the demon, having not heard her enter the room. She smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, I was thinking. What did you say?"

"Hot chocolate," Anya repeated, "you drank it when Joyce died and it made you feel warm and not so sad. Do you want some now so you won't be so sad?"

"I, well, it's May," Dawn said softly, realizing that the demon was trying to help her in the only way she knew how. She smiled slightly, nodding, "Yeah, sure, hot chocolate might be nice."

"Good," Anya beamed, proud that she had figured out a way to make the girl smile. Not that she really cared too much about Buffy's annoying bratty sister. She just knew it would make the next few hours easier if the teen wasn't sulking and depressed. She might need her help if she ever found someone that knew about soul restorations, which, after three phone calls, she wasn't any closer to locating. "I have some in the kitchen. You can make it while I make some more calls."

"Have you found anything yet?" Dawn asked.

"No. I've only made three calls so far, though, and they said they would check around and call me if they found anything," Anya explained as she tried not to sound discouraged. She had started with the demon that owed her the largest favor and was working her way through the list. Luckily, in over eleven hundred years, she was owed by a lot of powerful people. It was time to finally collect on some of those past debts. She looked at the bed, smiling when she saw that Spike had put his shirt on Willow. Good, she would still have a nice view of his bare chest. Plus, the redhead wasn't bloody and nasty anymore. Looking back at Dawn, she asked, "How did it go with the police?"

"Oh, God," Dawn suddenly realized that she hadn't told them about Buffy and the shooting. "I have to tell you and Spike what happened."

"Could you two be quieter?" Spike asked, finally opening his eyes and glaring at the girls. He had been hoping that Dawn would think he was sleeping and just leave him and his childe alone for a few moments of privacy. Instead, she had sat down and brought the chatty demon in with her. He just couldn't seem to win. His arms tightened around the redhead in his arms as he realized that maybe his luck was finally changing.

"Did we wake you?" Dawn asked nervously, hoping that they didn't.

"I wasn't sleeping, Niblet," Spike sighed, knowing the teen had no idea that she was truly testing his patience. He also knew that he couldn't be too sharp with her, though, because if it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have Red. Thinking about the possibility of Willow dying from her wound, of never becoming his child, well, he didn't like that thought at all. He owed Dawn for calling him, for giving him the opportunity to keep his Red. He looked at her, finally asking, "What did you need to tell us about your visit with the police?"

********************

"The police, right," Dawn lowered her voice to just slightly above a whisper at Spike's request for them to be quieter. She didn't want to wake up Willow, yet, knowing that they didn't seem to be any closer to finding a soul restoration and figuring it would be easier for all of them the longer Willow slept. "The guy told me that there was a shooting early this afternoon."

"Well, duh," Anya said, rolling her eyes. "And we're surprised that the police chalk everything up to gangs of drug addicts! Stupid humans."

"I meant, earlier than when I called them," Dawn said, almost giggling at Anya's disgust with the Sunnydale Police Department.

"They were told of shots and didn't bother to investigate?" Spike felt himself growing angry at the idea that they had neglected their duties causing Willow to become that much closer to death. Not that he would have wanted to change anything. He'd had time to think privately when Anya had started making her calls, realizing that he had been given a gift. He had Willow as his childe, something he had planned and hoped for, but assumed he'd never have the chance to claim with the implant and the mess that had become his life. The happiness, since that was definitely the emotion that was most dominant when thinking about having Willow as his childe though he was also feeling pride, wonder, and a bit of old fashioned lust, didn't stop him from being angry that his Red might have suffered unnecessarily due to police action.

"It was Buffy," Dawn whispered, wondering how Spike would react to the news that her sister had been shot. She never knew what to expect from the vampire, his moods and feelings never predictable. "She was shot and taken to the hospital."

"And they didn't bother to check the rest of the house?" Spike asked in disgust. "So what you're saying is that my Red was upstairs laying in her blood, dying slowly, because they didn't do their job."

"Um, well, yeah," Dawn stuttered, wondering if he had heard her. "Spike, Buffy was shot. She nearly died. They had to do surgery and everything, but she's going to be okay. The hospital told me she was fine."

"I don't give a bloody damn about the slayer," Spike snarled, conflicted by anger that the police didn't find his Red in time to save her and with relief that the redhead hadn't been discovered because it had led to his claiming her as his childe. He frowned suddenly as he realized what he had said, his eyes catching Dawn's surprised gaze as he acknowledged the truth in his words. He didn't care about Buffy any longer. When had that happened? Not a few hours before, he had been obsessed with the blonde slayer, craving her, aching for her, wanting nothing more than for her to want him as much as he wanted her. Now, he could honestly say that he no longer felt such desires. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling a bit lost for a moment as he dealt with this sudden realization. He'd wanted her for so long, it seemed, that he wasn't sure what to do without that consuming need. His eyes lowered as he looked into the sleeping face of his childe, his hand moving to caress her face as he shook his head slightly, his hand falling. Looking back at Dawn, he asked, "Do they know who did it?"

Dawn was resisting the urge to get up and do a happy dance, thrilled beyond belief to hear the words that had spilled from Spike's oh so lovely lips. He was over Buffy! She wanted to throw a party, do a dance, scream it out the window. It was about damn time! Her sister had used Spike for months, years really, and Dawn had been forced to sit silently by and watch the poor vampire become another victim to her sister's selfishness. Now, it appeared that he was finally over the slayer. Dawn was also thrilled because she hadn't failed to notice the way he had looked at Willow, the touch to the redhead's face, a sliver of hope widening as she wondered if maybe, just maybe, he could start to feel the emotions he had felt for Buffy for the redhead, who would be much more appreciative and who deserved to be loved by someone as loyal and wonderful and sexy as Spike. Realizing that he was impatiently waiting for an answer, and that she didn't want to give him any idea of the direction of her thoughts concerning him and Willow, she sighed and shook her head, "No, they didn't mention catching anyone. Xander's with her, and he might have seen something, but he hasn't bothered to call and tell anyone what happened so I wouldn't know."

Anya drew herself out of thoughts that were very similar to Dawn's concerning the stupidity of Spike's feelings for Buffy the bitch and relief that he was seemingly over them to reply, "Xander's a jerk. He only cares about his precious Buffy so it's not too surprising that he hasn't even bothered to call. It had to have been someone human," she decided, "a demon wouldn't have done anything as cowardly as using a gun. Guns are a human weapon."

"I don't want the moron anywhere near my childe," Spike said sharply, again conflicted by anger and relief. Xander had been there, could easily have run inside to tell the witches what had happened, could have saved his Red and maybe even the other one, though it had appeared her death had been pretty instant. Even now, hours later, he hadn't even bothered to check on the witches or Niblet because he was with Buffy. The boy had made his choice, even if he didn't know it. Spike wouldn't forget, even if he was secretly thrilled that the moron's neglect had resulted in Willow becoming his. Until he had another face to put on the anger and thirst for blood he felt at Willow's being shot, Xander's face would do. It would be much healthier for the boy to stay away from him, away from both of them, until things were calmed down. And, even then, Spike wasn't sure if he would allow his Red to be around the youth that had inadvertently helped kill her. He felt a bit disgusted with himself, realizing that he, too, had recently been so under the slayer's thumb. Two sets of surprised eyes were on him, causing him to look up and growl threateningly to make sure they understood the seriousness of his words, "He doesn't come near her until I give permission, *if* I ever give permission. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Dawn nodded, understanding completely that Spike must be angry with Xander. She, herself, was pissed at the carelessness of the man she had memories of having a crush on.

"Not a problem," Anya said, "I don't want to be around him myself. Back to the shooter, do you think it might have been one of those three geeks that was bothering Buffy recently?"

"I don't know," Dawn shrugged. "They weren't very threatening, but shooting someone is such a cowardly thing to do that it could have been one of them, I guess."

"We'll worry about that later," Spike said quietly, feeling Willow move slightly, knowing she was starting to wake up. "Right now, concentrate on the soul. You two need to go into the other room and close the door behind you."

"She's waking up," Anya realized, a bit surprised that it was so soon. She'd expected to have several hours before the redhead would waken.

"Already?" Dawn looked at the redhead, not seeing her move. She looked into Spike's eyes, saw them flash yellow as they narrowed.

"Go, now," he ordered, "and don't open the door until I say!"

"Got it, Fang," Anya said, knowing that they had no idea how Willow would react upon waking up. She also knew that it would still be at least another day before the redhead would be fully aware of everything that had happened, would be aware of what she had become. Hopefully, the redhead would sleep again after her first initial moments of alertness, giving them more time to make some calls. She took Dawn's arm, knowing the girl would see the true power of Spike if she remained much longer. While it might be a wonderful sight to behold, she knew the teen wasn't ready to deal with a pissed off sire. "C'mon, Brat. You can make some hot chocolate while I make some more calls. Let's leave these two alone for awhile."

"Okay, sure," Dawn said, following behind Anya, worry and concern in her dark eyes as she shut the bedroom door behind her, leaving Spike to deal with his wakening childe.

********************

She was aware of the cold first. It was a chilling cold that consumed her entire body causing her to shiver as she swam into consciousness. After moving past the cold, she felt the suffocation. Her body arched up as she gasped, her head snapping back as her green eyes flew open. Her hands clawed at the area beside her, clutching the blanket as she tried to breathe. She felt arms around her, a comforting touch, her eyes fluttering as she felt the security of the embrace. She felt her body slowly relaxing as soft words were spoken to her. Her eyes again opened as she found herself looking into familiar blue eyes. She knew this man. She felt his hand brush against her face, recognizing his touch. She whispered, "Sire?"

Spike heard her words, the husky whisper spoken from dry lips. He was very pleased. She knew him, recognized his position in her life. His lips twisted into a slight smile as he answered her, "Yes, I am your sire, childe."

She found herself fascinated by his lips, full and curved into a smile. Her sire. It was his scent that surrounded her, his touch that soothed her body. Her eyes filled with confusion as she looked away from his face. She did not understand. It was cold, so very cold. She moved closer to him, the cold not as overwhelming with his arms around her, though he was cold to touch. Her head was spinning as she looked around the room causing her to close her eyes from the images assaulting her. Sounds and smells consumed her senses causing her to cry out softly, the pain increasing as she became more and more awake. It was horrible she thought as she turned her head, burying it against his chest. Her hands moved to hold her ears, trying to block out the sounds. It was so loud. She inhaled his scent, the pleasurable smell blocking out the other awful smells that were not familiar to her. She felt him move, his fingers moving through her hair as he continued to speak softly to her. She heard his words but did not understand, the sounds too loud to focus on what he was saying. It was too much.

Spike continued to hold her as she became accustomed to her heightened senses. He had distant memories of when he had woken that night so many years ago, alone in a dark room with no sire to hold him and help him understand. Eyes flashing as he remembered how Angelus had treated him. Pushing away those thoughts, he concentrated on the redhead in his arms. He stroked her hair, whispering to her even though he knew she probably wouldn't be listening. It made him feel like he was there for his childe, and that was all that mattered at the moment. He felt her starting to relax, her body moving closer to him as her hands slowly lowered. He was proud of her, knowing that this was probably the worst of it, and she had dealt with the changes far more quickly than most he had seen. He knew she would be hungry, that she must feed, wondered if she remembered yet who she was. Those memories took a little longer to arrive, the memories of the past, of the human that the demon had once been. She had looked at him, instantly knowing that he was her sire, but without memories of their prior relationship. He was eager for her to look at him fully aware of who he was, with the knowledge that Spike was her sire.

She lowered her hands as she began to control what she was hearing. The world had stopped spinning, the scent of her sire surrounded her. She pulled her head back slowly, her eyes flashing yellow as she looked into his eyes, trying to find answers to what she was, who she was. She felt a hunger sweeping over her as her eyes found a mark on his neck, her tongue moving over her lips as she focused her attention on the smell of his blood. Looking at him again, she realized that she wanted to taste him, needed to taste him. Her sire. She couldn't find the words to describe what she was feeling at the moment, a helpless look flashing in her eyes as she struggled to vocalize the need she felt.

"You're hungry," Spike told her softly, knowing that loud noises would startle her for a few days even though she was becoming used to her new senses. He could smell her now, smell his claim mixed with her own unique scent. Even dead, she smelled innocent and sweet and intoxicating. And she was his. His eyes flashed yellow as he moved his head to the side, offering her his neck. "Feed, childe."

She didn't hesitate once permission had been given. Fangs pierced the bite on his neck, his blood spilling into her mouth as she moaned in appreciation. She felt as if her entire body was alive as she fed, the hunger growing as she found herself aching for his touch. He seemed to sense her need, moving against her. She cried out in pleasure as she felt him bite into her neck, her eyes rolling back as she felt his tongue on her skin, his hands behind her back as he pulled her even closer. She could feel his erection against her leg, her fingernails digging into his arm as she moved against him in need. She felt his leg move between her legs, growling softly as he moved it between her thighs, rubbing against her through layers of material. She pulled her head away from him, crying out as she found her release. His mouth was still on her neck, sucking her flesh as he drank. She clung to him, purring as he thrust against her leg, gasping for air that she no longed needed.

Spike moved his mouth from her neck when he felt himself nearing release. He claimed her lips in a kiss of possession, reminding her without words that she was his. She kissed him back, her tongue sweeping into his mouth, moving against his. Such power, such passion. He tasted his blood on her lips, sharing the taste of her own with her. His hand tangled in her thick red hair as they kissed, her leg now moving against him. With a groan, he pushed her against the bed, moving between her legs as he pushed his denim-covered erection between her legs. Cursing the clothing between them, he felt himself coming. "Mine," he whispered as his eyes met hers, listening as she whispered back, "Yours," causing him to kiss her again. The front of his jeans was wet from his release when he finally freed her mouth. He looked at her, his eyes moving possessively over her face. She was bloody beautiful. He watched her green eyes with flecks of yellow as she tried to control the demon, the taste of her still in his mouth, not nearly enough. He wanted to taste every inch of her, would taste every inch.

She pushed against the presence in her, trying to control it. What was it? It had taken her over when she had tasted her sire's blood. A demon, she realized, her demon. She felt herself finally gain control, looking up into her sire's proud blue eyes as she licked her lips. He made her feel things she couldn't describe, didn't understand. Who was he besides being her sire? She had so many questions, her thirst and hunger sated for the moment as she lay beneath him. Before she could ask him, her eyes widened as her body again arched up, memories washing over her. She closed her eyes as she tried to stop them, but they kept coming. There were so many memories, faces, feelings, knowledge of who she had been before this. She felt tears on her face as she remembered it all, the demon rising as the memories flashed. The tears stopped as she opened her eyes, green eyes finding blue as she said, "Spike," confusion flashing as he studied her silently, "my sire."

"My childe," he smiled slowly, wiping away her tears with his thumb. Moving beside her, he pulled her body against his as he brushed his lips over her ear, whispering, "Sleep, Willow. You woke too soon."

Willow. She was Willow. She remembered now. Remembered everything. Sunnydale and Buffy and Xander and Dawn and Tara and Anya and Spike. Spike was her sire! She was a vampire. She closed her eyes as she moved back against him, his scent and touch comforting her as she tried to understand, as she tried to adjust. Soon, she felt herself drifting off to sleep in his arms, only understanding one thing clearly. She was his.

********************

Dawn was sitting in a big comfy chair, her eyes on the closed door to the bedroom. A cup of hot chocolate sat on the table in front of her, forgotten when she had heard the first cry of pain coming from the bedroom. It had been a low cry causing her to put her cup down and move to go to the room. She'd only stopped when Anya's hand had grabbed her arm, pushing her back into the chair. The demon had been on the phone, giving her a pointed look before shaking her head sharply and pointing to the chair, indicating that she should remain where she was sitting. Dawn hadn't moved since then, listening intently for any signs that Willow might be in pain. She'd frowned when she had heard the cry, eyes widening when she had heard a moan, her cheeks flushing when she had heard another cry, this one sounding like it was from pleasure instead of pain. Her cheeks were red as she had listened to the sounds of Spike and Willow, having a pretty good idea what was happening.

"They're having sex," Anya said with a grimace as she sat on the sofa opposite Dawn. "In my bed. I haven't even had sex in my bed yet. It's not very fair that someone other than myself is having sex for the first time in my bed."

"Why...I mean, how..." Dawn trailed off, her face becoming even more red as she struggled to think of the words to use to ask her question.

Anya's eyebrows rose as she asked, "You don't even know *how*?"

"I know how!" Dawn defended, "I meant, well, Willow just woke up. Why are they doing...having...well, doing that right now?"

"Do I look like an expert on the mating habits of vampires?" Anya asked as she rolled her eyes. "I assume they wanted to have sex so they are, in *my* bed!"

"Is she....is she our Willow even if she doesn't have her soul yet?" Dawn asked quietly, deciding to move on from that topic. She would try to find some of the books she wasn't supposed to read and do some research when she got a chance. She wanted to try to understand what Willow was dealing with, to understand the changes that Willow would experience. She honestly hadn't expected to hear the sounds of sex coming from the room. Okay, so she wanted Willow and Spike together. She wanted love and romance and happy endings. She had known sex would play a part in that, knew that there had always been that sort of attraction between her two friends even when they'd been involved with other people. She hadn't expected the sex to come before the love and romance. That was the part that was strange to her. Oh, she knew people had sex all the time that weren't in love or even liked each other, case in point Buffy and Spike. She also suspected that the sex that was happening in the next room had to do with the vampire thing, something she couldn't even begin to understand.

"If you're going to ask me a question, I'd really like for you to listen to my answer," Anya grumbled as she kicked Dawn's knee to get the teen's attention on her. She could see the confusion in the girl's face, knew that there was no way she could begin to understand the levels to a sire and childe relationship. She had been around for over a thousand years and didn't even understand everything herself. There was a bond that existed between a sire and a true childe, a connection that couldn't really be explained with words. When Dawn looked at her, she repeated her answer, "It's our Willow, but it's not. She has a demon and no soul. There are memories of her human life so she knows everyone and everything from her past. She looks like Willow, sounds like Willow, probably even acts like Willow, but she'd kill you without hesitation if she were hungry, she'd slaughter anyone that tried to hurt her or hers. Without the soul, she doesn't have a conscience. She has no regrets or doubts or guilt. Willow is very intelligent, very loyal, very caring, very powerful. The vampire in the other room has retained those characteristics, which is both scary but comforting."

"So, she'd know me but she wouldn't care about me," Dawn whispered.

"You're food now," Anya said bluntly. "She might even feel a stronger desire to kill you because she did care so much about you as a human. It isn't uncommon for vampires to wake and massacre their entire family and circle of friends. A lot of that depends on the sire, of course. At one time, I could imagine Spike allowing Willow the freedom to kill those she had once loved because he considered them enemies himself. Now, even if he didn't have the implant, *you* would be safe even if the others weren't. I can't tell you if Willow would feel anything for you. I'm not an expert on vampires. I know what I've heard and what I've seen. Every vampire is different, every demon reacts differently to a turning. Much depends on the sire, on the childe's first few days. Does any of that make sense to you?"

Dawn nodded, "Yes, it actually does. Spike is going to be a great sire, isn't he?"

"I think he will provide her with the training she needs to survive as well as the guidance she needs to adjust to her new life," Anya said slowly. "I also believe that Spike will cherish the bond between him and his childe in a way that not many vampires are smart enough to appreciate. He needs her just as she needs him. It will be much easier for both of them once she has a soul."

"So the soul will act as her conscience, as a way of keeping her demon under control," Dawn said thoughtfully, finally starting to understand, sort of.

"Yes, it will give her boundaries. It won't prevent her from killing, it will just make her recognize the consequences of such an act," Anya explained, glad to see that the girl seemed to be understanding that it wouldn't be the same as it was. Even with a soul, Willow would be different. She didn't really want Dawn to expect everything to be sunshine and roses just because Willow would have a soul.

"She'll be able to care, though," Dawn said, needing to know that Willow could still love her even with a demon.

"She can care now," Anya explained, "even with a demon, she can experience emotions such as love. Spike is one of the most caring demons I've ever met, though I would never admit those words to him, and he has one of the strongest demons I've ever come across. It can happen, but most vampires don't give a damn about anything except blood and pleasure so they never learn, they're never taught."

"Spike would teach her, wouldn't he? I can see the differences between him and those vampires we fight. I have memories of Angel and Angelus, know that he was different than those minions too. But, Spike is even different than Angel, isn't he? I mean, Angel has a soul and that's the main reason he wants to help people. If he didn't, when he was Angelus, well, he wanted to destroy the world. Spike didn't want to end the world, and that was even before the implant," Dawn rambled, loving that she had someone to talk to about all this, that was listening to her and trying to help her understand.

"Spike is special," Anya shrugged, "I don't know how when he comes from the Aurelius line. And don't get me wrong. There was a time when he and Angelus crossed Europe and did what ever they wanted. That usually meant killing and torture. You need to remember that Spike has killed and tortured a lot of innocent people in his time, Kid. Trust me when I say that he didn't earn the nickname Spike because of his haircut. He's not some hero that has never done wrong, he doesn't need to be romanticized into being something that he's not. Don't get me wrong. He *has* changed. He's not that same demon anymore. That's part of life, I guess. Changing and adapting. He had it rough. He had to share his sire with her sire, which is common, but I somehow think things in that family were pretty fucked up. Angelus was a bastard and Drusilla was a loony damn bitch that had no idea what she had in Spike. I think he's been searching for decades to find something to call his, even though he'd probably threaten to kill me for daring suggest the idea."

"I kind of agree with you," Dawn admitted softly, sharing a smile with the demon. "I think he needs someone to take care of that wants *him*. Willow is good for him. He's not thinking about Buffy anymore, which is great. He looks at her in a way that makes me think it could be something else, you know, besides just being her sire."

"Spike has wanted Willow for years," Anya said matter of factly. "Trust me on that. One night he got drunk and started talking. I smartly sat back and listened. He intended to turn her that night in the warehouse, had decided that she would make a diversion to get his mind off Drusilla. Since then, I don't think he has ever completely forgotten her. There were women in between, but something about her attracted both the man and the demon. Now, he finally has her. It will be interesting to see what he does now that she's his."

"It's quiet now," Dawn said, realizing that the noises had stopped. "They must be...um...finished."

"I suppose she is sleeping again," Anya decided. She turned her attention to Dawn and asked, "Do you understand better?"

"Yes," Dawn smiled. "Thank you for being honest with me, for treating me like an adult and answering my questions."

"Don't thank me," Anya said. "I was tired of hearing you fidget in the chair as your teen-age mind tried to understand what isn't easily understood. As for treating you like an adult, well, this is the first time I've ever seen you behaving like one. Keep it up and you might get over that whiny brattiness yet."

"Okay, I don't thank you," Dawn said with a slight smile, feeling much better after hearing Anya's explanation. She still had a lot of questions but felt a bit more reassured that things would be different but okay. She had learned a lot from Anya today, realized that she had underestimated the demon. It seemed like they might be becoming friends, but she wouldn't dare suggest that knowing the woman would deny every word and probably end up shutting her out completely. Instead, she said primly, "You're an evil demon that didn't help me at all."

"Just you remember that, Brat," Anya said with a wink as she picked the phone back up, ready to start another round of calls to try to locate a soul restoration.

"I'm hungry. Want some food?" Dawn asked as she stood, stretching as she covered a yawn. It wasn't even seven yet, but she was tired. It had been a stressful day, and she was still nervous about how Willow was, and about the sounds that had come from the bedroom and what they meant exactly. Maybe some food would wake her up. She had been listening to Anya on the phone and knew the demon wasn't any closer to finding any answers. It looked like it would be a long night for all of them. "I can make soup."

"Sure, food sounds good," Anya nodded as she dialed yet another number, hoping that she would finally find someone that had knowledge of a soul restoration.

********************

Dawn was napping on the couch when she heard Anya's exclamation. She sat up quickly, her dark eyes moving to the demon. She glanced at the clock, surprised to see that it was nearly nine. She had turned on the television and sat down to watch as Anya had continued making her calls, not realizing that she would drift off to sleep. She felt slightly guilty for sleeping as Anya had apparently been busy on the phone. She listened to the demon, trying to figure out what had caused such excitement.

"So you know something?" Anya asked, listening as her friend Gretyiso began to talk. "Uh huh...okay...is that it? No, no, don't get me wrong. It's somewhere to start. Yeah...really? Here, let me get something to write on so I can get that information."

Dawn handed Anya a table and a pen, smiling at her as she sat back down. It sounded like Anya had finally found some sort of soul restoration spell. Dawn was eager to hear the details, listening as Anya repeated what appeared to be a spell along with a list of ingredients. They had a spell!

Anya thanked her friend and hung up the phone, looking at Dawn and sighing, "Well, I finally found someone who knew something, but I'm not sure if this will help. It's a place to start, though."

"What is it?" Dawn asked.

"He told me about a temporary soul restoration," Anya stretched before sitting down. "It lasts seven days at a time."

"One week?" Dawn frowned, "that's all he knew?"

"He's the first person I've found that even knew that much," Anya shook her head. "This permanent soul thing is more difficult than I imagined. I got the spell from him in case it takes us longer to find a permanent spell. It will buy us some time to keep searching."

"You're right," Dawn said. "We could do this spell and get her soul back and keep looking. Should we go tell Spike?"

"It's been pretty quiet in there," Anya remarked, looking at the door to her bedroom thoughtfully. "I suppose we can see if he's awake. He needs to know where we stand at the moment. I've got calls in to over a dozen demons across the world. They're all looking for something permanent and have promised to call if they hear of anything, no matter how remote. For now, though, this temporary spell will give us a week, and we can always repeat it if we needed to."

"Let's see if Spike's sleeping, find out what he thinks," Dawn suggested as she moved to the bedroom door. She opened it slowly, knowing that he had warned them not to come in until he told them. She didn't poke her head in, instead whispering into the darkness, "Spike? Are you awake?"

"What is it, Niblet?"

"Anya found a demon that knew about this temporary soul restoration spell," Dawn explained, finding it rather odd to be whispering into a dark room. "No one else has heard about anything that would be helpful. She's going to keep making calls, but we were wondering if you wanted us to do the temporary spell so that she can get her soul back now instead of having to wait until we find something else."

Spike lowered his head, brushing his lips over Willow's cheek as he thought. A temporary soul restoration? It would be much easier for her if she got her soul back before she woke up again, he knew. The longer she went without it, the harder it would be to adjust. Her demon was strong, just as he'd figured. He asked Dawn, "How long is temporary?"

"A week," Dawn replied softly, not wanting to disturb Willow.

"A week," Spike repeated, his mind running through every possible scenario. This would be for the best, he finally decided. Get her soul back before she woke again. It would be easier to adjust if she had a soul. Not nearly as confusing. His eyes closed briefly as he again rebelled against the idea of giving her a soul, knowing that it was for the best but also knowing that he hated the idea of his lovely childe cursed with a soul. How different was he than the soldiers that had given him this stupid chip? He was no better than those bastards. She was his childe, his companion, and he was forcing her to be a vampire with a soul. He had looked into her eyes, had seen glimpses of the Willow that he had known, knew that she would not be completely different as a demon. She'd be stronger, more confident, bloody breathtaking. He got hard just thinking about her hunting, her red hair around her face as she played with her food. And she would be a player, that he knew. Mischievous and wicked and intelligent and gorgeous. She would be the ideal childe and mate. If he didn't have this damn implant, it would be perfect. As it was, those dreams had to be forgotten.

"Spike?" Dawn waited for his answer.

"Go ahead and do it," he snarled, looking at the ceiling with a frown. If he didn't do it, she'd leave him. Why would someone as powerful and beautiful as her want to be with him? He couldn't even feed on his own, couldn't fight to protect her. She'd never be able to love him without her soul. And he wanted her to love him, he had realized while laying in the dark room. He wanted her to choose to be with him, to look at him with the same devotion and love and loyalty that he had felt for his own sire in the beginning. When she woke up this time, she'd have her soul. He wondered how that would change things. Would she still want him, need him, crave him? Would the soul drive her away from him? He scowled at that idea, having never given much thought to how the soul would react to him. He was her sire, she was his childe. She couldn't leave him. His blue eyes grew thoughtful as he recalled what Dawn had said. The soul restoration would last only a week. If he wasn't pleased with the results, if she didn't want him when she had the soul, he'd refuse to allow the permanent spell. He smiled slowly, relaxing now that he had figured out a plan just in case. He doubted that he had to worry, but it never hurt to have a plan. Something useful Angelus had taught him over the years. His arm tightened around her as he continued to hold her, his eyes closing as he snuggled closer to her.

"He said to do the spell," Dawn told Anya after she had shut the door. "Do you have what we need?"

"Everything we need is at the store. I guess it doesn't hurt to do this one now," Anya said as she glanced at the list. Looking back at Dawn, she said, "I've got two demons that are pretty sure they had heard about something permanent. They're going to call me as soon as they find the spell they're thinking about, so there's a chance we could have two spells to choose from within twenty-four hours. I have to go to the store to get what we need if we want to do this tonight."

"The sooner the better," Dawn decided. "I'd rather her get the soul now so it's easier when she wakes up again."

"Having a soul won't be easy either way," Anya muttered as she rolled her eyes. She went to pick up her keys, asking, "Will you be okay here?"

"Yeah," Dawn smiled. "I'm going to call the hospital and check on Buffy and then maybe watch some television. I'll keep an eye on Spike and Willow."

"I can't believe Xander still hasn't called," Anya observed as she looked at the silent cell phone. "He's a bastard."

"Hey, whatever," Dawn said with a frown. Xander had worked his way from her happy list to her angry list and was now sitting alone on her disgusted list. She was surprised that he hadn't called yet, wondering if he was still at the hospital, knowing that he obviously hadn't been by her house to see her note or by his own to check his answering machine. Did he not think they'd have been worried by now? She guessed he didn't care about anything except his precious Buffy. "How long do you think you'll be gone?"

Anya shrugged, "Should be back in half an hour or so. I think I'll grab some books from the store, see if they mention anything about a permanent restoration. I hate books!"

"I can look through them while you call," Dawn volunteered, liking the idea of feeling useful.

"Good, you can be research girl then," Anya smiled slightly, deciding that Dawn might not be that bad after all, for a human teenager. Remembering suddenly, she added, "Oh, don't open the door to anyone and don't talk to strangers that may call."

"What if it's one of your demon friends?" Dawn asked, fighting a smile at Anya's instructions, having almost expected to hear that she should look both ways before crossing the street.

"Hmm," Anya frowned, finally deciding, "I guess they wouldn't be strangers if I know them so you can speak to them. Just take a message. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Dawn watched her leave before she picked up the phone to call the hospital to check on her sister. She sat on the sofa and got comfortable as she waited for a nurse to pick up.

********************

The call to the hospital had been informative. Buffy was in recovery and appeared to be doing well, would probably be released in a couple of days. Dawn was glad to hear the good news. Even if she couldn't stand Buffy most of the time, she did love her sister and would never want anything bad to happen to the slayer. She'd probably try to visit her sister the following day, deciding that the best place to tell Buffy what had happened to Willow and Tara would be the hospital because she could leave if the slayer got too bitchy. Satisfied that there wasn't anything else to do until she had a book to start reading for research, the teen picked up the remote control, flipping through the channels until she found something of interest. Soon, she was involved in the program as she waited for Anya to return.

Willow's eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the darkness of the room. She felt an arm around her waist, a body behind her. Spike. She turned her head slightly, her eyes moving over his face. He was sleeping, his eyes closed and his lips curved into a small smile. She gently brushed her lips over his, pulling back as he moved. He didn't wake up, allowing her to study him. She could remember everything. Tara, blood, falling over. After that, it got blurry. She had heard voices and then she had felt him take her in his arms. She'd been dying, she'd been shot. Her hand moved to her chest where the bullet had entered her, confusion flashing in her green eyes. Spike had saved her. He had turned her, taken her as his childe just as he had promised that night years ago. She closed her eyes as she embraced her demon, learning what it was, feeling its desires and needs. When she opened her eyes again, she smiled. Everything finally stopped spinning. She understood.

She was a vampire, childe of Spike, grandchilde of Drusilla, great-grandchilde of Angelus and so on. She could feel the power flowing within her veins. The strength of her bloodline mixing with her own personal strength. This wasn't what she had expected. When she had imagined being turned into a vampire, her visions had been of violence and blood and uncontrollable hunger. She felt none of those things at the moment. Instead, she felt safe and protected and curious. She also felt a pull towards the vampire that had sired her, a need for him to be proud of her, to want her, to satisfy him. She had desired him even when she was alive, that desire only intensifying upon her death and turning. She smiled as she looked at him, her eyes sweeping over his figure. Mine, her demon screamed as she licked her lips. He was so strong, the power he gave off even in sleep arousing and dangerous. His scent surrounded her. She wanted to feel him everywhere, to have him inside her, to give herself to him as none ever had. She wanted him to cherish her and speak about her as she recalled him speaking about his sire. She would please him, her lovely sire.

She was about to kiss him, wake him from his dreams to claim him, to look into his eyes and let him see her and know what she felt, what she needed, when she smelled it. She lifted her head, sniffing the air as she looked towards the door. She cocked her head to the side, listening, her eyes narrowing as she heard the soft sound of a heartbeat. Gracefully, she left her sire's embrace and rose from the bed, her eyes staring at the door. She walked a step, glancing down and scowling at the material that covered her legs. She pushed it off, leaving her wearing only her sire's shirt. She inhaled his scent, a feeling of pleasure washing over her body and mind as she glanced back at him on the bed. Mine, she again thought, her hand moving down her body until she felt the wetness between her thighs. She needed him. She took a step towards the bed shaking her head slightly before turning back to the door. The smell, the sound, she needed to see what it was, to discover why it was familiar. She opened the door quietly, not wishing to disturb her sire from his sleep. Stepping into the brightly lit room, she grimaced as she moved her arm over her eyes.

Dawn heard the sound of the door opening, glancing up and expecting to see Spike. Instead, she found herself looking at Willow. The redhead was standing in the doorway, her arm over her eyes. She was awake! Dawn was off the sofa in seconds, running towards the woman and hugging her tightly, whispering, "Willow, I love you!"

Willow was startled when she felt the weight of the girl crash into her, nearly losing her balance as she felt thin arms wrap around her waist. She heard the girl's words, her eyes flashing as she inhaled the sweet scent of human blood that rushing through the teen's veins. She was pulled towards the sofa by the girl, her eyes looking into brown eyes that were staring at her with love and curiosity. "Dawn?" she whispered softly, recognizing the girl from her memories.

"You know me?" Dawn felt tears in her eyes as she smiled, "I knew you'd remember me. I knew you wouldn't forget me no matter what happened," with those words she again embraced the redhead.

Willow sat down, more tired than she would have thought after taking such a short walk. The girl was hugging her again, warm arms tight around her. She lowered her head to the girl's neck, sniffing the flesh, smelling the blood that kept the girl alive. Her eyes flashed yellow as she pulled her head back, the demon enjoying the scent of the girl. She closed her eyes as she recalled everything about the girl hugging her. Dawn, her friend, her surrogate sister, the voice she had heard as she had laid on the floor dying. Dawn. She opened her eyes, the demon under control. That was when she felt him, turning her head to look at the man standing in the door. His blue eyes caught hers, stared deep into her eyes as she returned his gaze. She watched him relax, realized that he had intended to protect the girl hugging her if needed. He needn't have worried. Her demon felt no desire to kill this human girl, felt almost affectionate in fact. This girl loved her knowing what she was, had no fear hugging a vampire that could easily kill her in seconds, trusted her completely. The demon had no interest in destroying that trust. Her sire's lips curved into a slight smile as he watched her, her eyes moving along his face and down his bare chest past his jeans down to his bare feet. She wanted.... her eyes flashed as she looked back into his eyes, her nostrils flaring as she ached for his touch. Mine, her demon screamed as she licked her lips, watching as his eyes flashed from amused to aroused.

"I love you, Willow," Dawn said again, pulling back to look at the redhead. She saw her friend looking to the side, following her gaze and finding Spike standing in the door. She saw the look in his eyes and gulped, looking back at Willow before looking back at him. They both seemed to have forgotten she was there, staring at each other in a way that she'd only ever read about. She sighed as she let go of Willow, knowing that some sire and childe thing must be happening. Or maybe it was a man and woman thing. Either way, it didn't include a fifteen-year old human.

Willow felt the girl let her go, turning her head away from her sire to stare at the human that she had once loved. She smiled softly as she said, "Dawn."

"I hope you don't hate me," Dawn whispered, voicing her fears. "I asked Spike to turn you so that I wouldn't lose you, so we wouldn't lose you."

"I don't hate you, Dawny," Willow said quietly, understanding why Spike had been in her room, why he had turned her. Dawn had saved her. She owed this girl her life. For that, she would control the urge to taste her innocent blood. She lowered her head, running her tongue over Dawn's neck causing the girl to gasp. Pulling back, she smiled, "You should be careful about letting vampires near your neck, sweet little Dawn."

"Willow," Dawn felt herself smiling as she looked at her friend, seeing traces of the Willow she had always known in her green eyes. Dawn looked at Spike in surprise, "I don't understand. She doesn't have a soul yet she's like our Willow."

"Don't need a soul to care, Niblet," Spike said, his eyes not moving from his glorious childe. When he had woken to find her gone, he'd been scared that she had left him. He'd been surprised to find her with Dawn, shocked to find her already so in control of her demon. He was mighty proud of her, and she wasn't even yet a day old. When she had looked at him, the desire and need in her green eyes, he'd had to resist the urge to sink deep inside her without care of their audience. She wanted him even though he had this bloody implant, looked at him as if he meant everything to her. She was beyond his expectations. She was his.

"I'm tired, sire," Willow whispered as she laid against the sofa, realizing she hadn't been ready to leave the bed yet. She needed to rest, needed to feel his arms around her as she slept.

"Poor baby," he drawled huskily as he moved from the door towards the couch. "Shouldn't have left our bed so soon, luv. You need to sleep longer, rebuild your energy. Maybe tomorrow you can visit with Dawn."

"Tomorrow," she agreed as he lifted her into his arms. She rested her head against his shoulder, a smile of contentment crossing her pretty face as she felt him against her. She looked at the confused teen sitting on the couch and gave her a sleepy smile, "Sleep well, Dawny."

"You too, Willow," Dawn said softly, watching with interest as Spike gently moved Willow against him, a possessive yet tender look in his eyes as he looked at the redhead. She watched them until they had entered the bedroom, the door closing behind them, leaving her alone with her thoughts about what she had just seen. She hoped Anya returned soon. She had a hundred more questions to ask the demon.

********************

By the time Anya arrived back at the apartment with the books and supplies, Dawn was pacing in front of the window. She still hadn't heard from Xander. It was after ten so she figured he must have remained at the hospital with Buffy. Otherwise, he would have found one of the two messages she had left for him. She didn't care. Thankfully, the police had told her about Buffy. This wasn't something that Xander would be able to just smile and apologize and get off of her bad list. No, this was up there with being nearly unforgivable in her eyes. He had proven that night just what type of friend he truly was, not a very good one. The only positive thing was that it meant she hadn't had to tell him what had happened to Willow, hadn't had to get that argument started yet. Oh, she was pretty sure there would be an argument once Buffy and Xander found out. Neither one of them would listen to her explanation and it would be lots of yelling and disapproval and just a bad situation all around. That was one of the main reasons she'd just decided to go to the hospital tomorrow. She could check on Buffy and tell them both what had happened in an environment that would prevent yelling and would give her an easy escape.

The teen turned when she heard the key in the lock, moving to take one of the bags from Anya. She looked inside, seeing bags of herbs and candles and some things she didn't recognize. She followed Anya to the table, putting the bag down beside the books the demon had picked up. She was glad to see Anya, had a lot of questions for the demon, wanted someone to listen to her thoughts and tell her honestly what they thought. That was one thing you could always count on with Anya, honesty.

"I think I found everything we need," Anya said as she mentally inventoried the contents of the two bags. "I also took a few books that might have something useful. Did Xander call?"

"Not a word," Dawn sighed, "I guess he's too busy thinking about Buffy to worry about any of his other friends."

"He's as selfish as she is," Anya said with a frown. She thanked every God that she knew every day that she hadn't married Xander. At the time, she had been hurt and felt as if her world was ending. Now, looking back, she knew it would have been a mistake. She did love him, but she wouldn't have been happy with him. He definitely wouldn't have been happy with her. It had all worked out in the end. She'd become a demon again, but she had more control now than she ever had before. She had a bit of understanding when it came to humans, this insight helping her with her work. Okay, so the torture had started to lose its appeal, she still liked seeing justice performed on the heartless men that deserved retribution. Pulling herself from her thoughts, she looked at the teen, rolling her eyes when she saw the questions just waiting to be asked. She should have stayed gone longer, until Dawn was asleep. She didn't mind answering questions, actually felt rather honored the girl asked her so much, but she was tired. She had a hell of a headache, the day had been horrible from the time she had woken up, she had watched one of her only friends die, and now she had a perky teen wanting to ask more questions that she probably didn't have answers for. Would this night ever end?

"I saw Willow," Dawn said as she grabbed a can of soda before walking towards the sofa. She felt Anya's surprised eyes on her, smiling as she said, "She woke up and came out. She remembered me!"

"Why do you mortals believe that losing a soul means you lose your memories?" Anya asked as she moved to sit down, curious as to how Willow had been. "She's still Willow, soul or not. How was she?"

"She was Willow, like you said," Dawn explained, "I mean, she was different in a way. She was quiet and seemed confused. Oh, and she got tired just from walking to the couch. But, her eyes, well, she hadn't changed. She didn't bite me, didn't even give me the impression that she wanted to!"

"I'm guessing you didn't chatter on like this then," Anya said dryly, though there was slight amusement in her eyes. "I'd bite you if it would make you shut up."

"I don't talk that much," Dawn defended before smiling sheepishly, "well, I hardly get to talk when Buffy's around because she always find something to say about everything and it's just not worth arguing with her to bother. Anyway, Spike came out and he carried her back to bed. And he said she shouldn't have left their bed, like she belonged with him and the look in his eyes when he looked at her? I can't even describe it. It was....wow."

"Their bed?" Anya made a face, "I'll have him remember that it is my bed, not theirs. What do you mean wow?"

"I mean, I don't know what I mean," Dawn shrugged. "It was like they were the only two people in the world, like they were everything that mattered and was important. I don't know about this sire and childe thing, but this look, well, it looked like it might go beyond that relationship."

"And this makes you happy?" Anya was curious. Dawn was excited that Spike was looking at Willow as if she was the most important thing in his life and Willow was doing the same. The girl seemed to have moved past Willow's dying and becoming a vampire to focus on matchmaking. Would she ever understand teen-age girls?

"Very happy," Dawn smiled. "I've always wanted them to get together. They both deserve someone that wants them, that will love them. So it's happening in a bit of a different way than I had imagined, but it's still happening! I love them both so much!"

"You confuse me," Anya admitted, shaking her head. "Did anyone call?"

"No calls at all," Dawn said, feeling rather proud that she could confuse Anya. Turning serious, she said, "Anya, you said something before you left, about a soul not being as easy as I seemed to think. What did you mean?"

"It's nothing," Anya said, rolling her eyes as Dawn continued to look at her waiting for a better answer. "Okay, it's like this. A soul is a curse. No matter which way you look at it. Sure, it acts as a conscience for the demon, but it isn't easy to live with. The few vampires I've heard of that have been cursed with a soul usually end up weak minded or dead. Angel is an exception, but he went through his own period of weakness. It will be different for Willow because she's newly turned, but I can imagine how horrible it will be to live with the soul constantly fighting the demon."

"A soul will make her weak?" Dawn asked, not really understanding.

"No, yes, I don't know how to explain this to you," Anya said in frustration. "You have to have a demon to understand. It's not something that can be put into words."

"Tonight, she seemed like Willow," Dawn said, deciding not to push Anya for fear the demon would stop talking to her. "That's what you were telling me before, about how the soul mostly acts like a warning voice to stop the demon from hurting innocent people and stuff. Willow didn't try to hurt me, though, and she doesn't have a soul."

"She's strong," Anya shrugged. "All demons have an awareness of right and wrong, Dawn. We don't have the same moral system as you mortals, but we know the rules. The majority of demons just don't have the control or the desire to follow them. She is still Willow in the ways that count. She has the memories, the awareness of feelings she used to possess....I told you before that demons can care, they can love. Humans can't get past the idea that you have to have a soul to love, but you don't. She didn't try to hurt you because she remembered you, the demon had to have accepted you. That's not to say that five hours from now she wouldn't try to have you as a midnight snack. If she's hungry, she would feed. If she has as much control as you say, I don't think you would be in danger from her."

"So, she'd nibble but not kill me," Dawn made a face, not liking that idea very much but glad that Anya was being completely honest about everything. It helped her understand a little, but she knew she was nowhere close to understanding everything about vampires, demons and souls. It was too confusing, in a way. Yet, in another, she understood everything that she needed to understand. Even without a soul, Willow was Willow. The vampire she had hugged was nothing like the memory she had of the other vampire Willow, that skanky leather-wearing vampire from the other universe. Dawn didn't know what was different, well, okay, so she guessed the two vampires were different because of everything. The other vampire had been turned at a young age, before she had a close group of people she cared about, had been turned in a world where darkness controlled it all. Dawn's Willow was turned by someone that cared about her, was surrounded by people that loved her and considered her family, in a world where the balance towards good outweighed evil. That had to change a lot of things, Dawn figured.

"I don't really know," Anya said. "I'm not an expert on vampires. I just understand a bit about demons, you know after having one for over a thousand years and all. I don't understand that much about vampires, myself."

"I understand a little bit more now," Dawn said with a slight smile. She took a deep breath and blurted out what she had been thinking, "I don't think we should give Willow her soul."

********************

"What?" Anya stared at the girl in shock.

"What do you think?" Dawn asked, chewing on her bottom lip.

"I think you need some sleep," Anya decided, wondering if the girl was serious, a thoughtful look entering her eyes as she studied the teen. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yes," Dawn nodded. "I know that we should give her a soul, but I just can't. She's still Willow without one. Why do we need to give her a soul if it will only hurt her and make being a vampire that much more difficult?"

"Dawn, without a soul, she wouldn't have any kind of boundaries set," Anya spoke slowly, knowing the girl couldn't possibly have given this as much thought as was needed. "She could kill whomever she wanted without any kind of remorse. We're talking slaughter of innocents."

"No," Dawn shook her head. "I looked into her eyes, Anya. She might be a demon, but part of Willow is in there. She would have tried to bite me if she was a threat."

"Oh, hon, she's a threat," Anya said. "She had a lot of power as a human. That will only be increased now that she has a demon. Her bloodline is strong, her sire a true master. Without a soul, well, she'd be dangerous to anyone that crossed her."

"A soul doesn't mean anything," Dawn argued. "I've thought about it a lot, trust me. There are humans that kill innocent people all the time and they have their souls. I think that pretty much kills the arguments about souls. I mean, if she wanted, even with a soul, she could slaughter and kill. Those men and women in jail prove that. I trust Willow completely. I can't believe she'd just go out and kill random people for fun. As you said, if they crossed her, then yeah, they'd be dead. I could accept that cause they'd probably deserve it."

"Kid, you're unbelievable," Anya had to laugh. "You've really given this thought, haven't you? What about Buffy? How is your sister going to react if she finds out that you had the chance to give Willow her soul and chose not to? I'd say the slayer would be mighty pissed off."

"I don't care what Buffy thinks," Dawn said honestly. "This isn't about her. This is about Willow and what's best for her. I don't want to give her a soul if it hurts her or causes her demon to constantly fight or makes her weak. It isn't worth it."

"I don't know," Anya looked away as she thought. Personally, she didn't like the idea of cursing her friend with a soul. She knew that Willow was strong enough to be able to control her demon without one. Besides, Spike was her sire and there was no way he'd let her go on a rampage. He had more control than that even before his time with the implant. No, Anya knew that Willow would be restrained and in control without a soul. She thought about Spike, knew the vampire was concerned about his implant, about his childe respecting him if she didn't have a soul. But, she also knew that it must anger him to have to curse his own childe. As she had told Dawn, not many vampires could survive the struggle between demon and soul. Willow was strong enough to survive, but at what cost? And, she hated to admit it, but Dawn was right. Even with a soul, Willow could easily ignore it and kill anyone she wanted. If anything, the battle with the soul could drive her demon into wanting needless blood to flow. It could hurt far more than it helped.

"Why don't we sleep on it?" Dawn suggested, her mind resolved. After talking to Anya, after seeing Willow, she knew that she didn't want to curse her friend with a soul. It wasn't her decision, though, anymore than it was Anya's. "We can talk to Spike tomorrow. It's his decision, really. He agreed to allow me to do a soul restoration, but I don't think he really wanted to do it. I might be wrong, though, and he might want her to have a soul. I'll love her either way, but I just don't want to hurt her. She's already died, already been turned, getting a soul could just make things worse."

"You're right," Anya grudgingly admitted, "a soul could do more harm than good. And it isn't like we're having any luck finding a permanent soul restoration. We'll talk to Spike in the morning, let him decide. She's his childe and I'll respect his decision either way. Just, before we mention the possibility to him, make sure that this is something you really want. There won't be any turning back once his decision is made. I'm a demon, Brat, so it doesn't matter that much to me either way. I would prefer her not being cursed, but it's not my place to decide. We won't talk to Spike unless you are absolutely sure this is what you want."

"Thanks," Dawn smiled. "I mean, thanks for everything you've done today. I know you don't really like me and it was all for Willow, but I appreciate it. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't answered my questions, if you hadn't let me know what might happen. And thank you for supporting me on this. I know that Buffy and Xander would never understand, but I think that you do and I think that Spike will. My mind is made up, but we won't mention it to Spike until tomorrow. I don't think he wants her to have her soul, so I think he will be happy that he won't have to curse her like that. I should never have made him promise something like that when I didn't understand anything about it."

"You're a kid," Anya said, pleased that the girl appreciated what she had done tonight. She wasn't used to humans thanking her. It was different but rather nice. She still didn't like the girl, though. Too chatty and still a brat. "You were scared and thought that the soul restoration would be easy and safe. I'm proud of you, Dawn, for admitting that you were wrong and taking such a risk to protect Willow. It's very adult of you."

"You are?" Dawn beamed, deciding that that was the nicest thing Anya had ever said to her, probably would be the nicest thing Anya ever said to her.

"Don't let it go to your head, Brat," Anya muttered, wondering why she had voiced that particular thought, rolling her eyes as she turned to look at the television. "Since we don't have to worry about that spell tonight, why don't we watch some very poorly made horror film and spend our time making fun of it?"

"I'll make some popcorn!" Dawn volunteered as she got her feet, a pleased smile still on her face as she entered the kitchen.

********************

They didn't want to give her a soul.

Spike frowned as he heard the sounds of a movie starting in the next room, the girls stopping their chatter as they began to watch the television. He had heard everything they had said from the moment Anya had walked in the door. Dawn surprised him, he had to admit. She was more mature and more intelligent than he had given her credit. He had never once imagined the teen deciding to let Willow remain a demon. Her faith and love for his childe was unbelievable. She was willing to risk not giving Willow a soul on the belief that she would be able to control her demon, that she wouldn't become a monster. It amazed him that someone of her age, especially considering the reality that she had only been alive for two years despite the planted memories, could be so selfless. She was more worried about what having a soul would do to Willow to be concerned with the idea that an unsouled vampire could very well consider her an appetizing snack.

She trusted him, trusted Willow. She had no experience to draw on, having never had someone she loved turned before. She had looked into his childe's eyes and seen all that she had needed to know. He could understand that feeling, he decided as he ran his right hand through his hair. He'd looked into Willow's eyes, himself, and seen so much more than he'd ever hoped. She had looked at him with devotion and understanding and love. She had looked at him with want and desire and need, her green eyes saying so much. Even now, she was curled against his body, trusting him to take care of her. What had he ever done to earn such trust not only from his beautiful childe but also from Niblet? He looked down at her face, his fingers moving to trace over her cheeks and lips. She was bloody gorgeous, she was. Stronger than he'd have thought, power radiating off her even as she slept. She was stunning. Truly stunning. And she was his.

He had no doubts that she belonged to him. He had worried that she would fight his claim over her, that she would deny his authority. He'd been foolish. She had looked at him fully aware that he was her sire, seemingly proud that he had made her into his childe. Proud to be his childe! There was no disgust or hatred, just love and devotion. He had forced himself into examining the last few years as she slept, thinking back over every action he had made, every choice. It was then, as he had been lost in the recent past, that he had begun to realize something that surprised him even as he accepted it. Willow had loved him. He'd never seen it, never even considered that someone like her could ever look at him as anything other than an annoyance. So they'd become friends a bit, especially over that summer following Buffy's death, but he'd never considered that she felt anything at all for him. She'd had her little witch, why would she want him? He knew she'd loved the girl, had watched their sickeningly sweet displays of affection for two years. It appeared that, even as she had cuddled and caressed the silly witch, she had wanted him. He could remember a dozen different times he had looked into her eyes and seen something like what he had seen just that night. Devotion and affection and loyalty. Why had he been so blind?

He knew it didn't really make a difference now. She was dead. There were traces of the redhead he had coveted, but they now shared her body with a very strong demon. He was surprised at just how much Willow had remained. He knew from his own experiences that a large part of the bloody awful pathetic poet that he had once been still lurked inside his mind, but he'd never given much thought to other vampires. He had done his best to forget what he had once been, doing everything in his power to make Angelus proud of him, knowing that his ability to care was a weakness to his sire. He'd become a cold-blooded killer, loving the thrill of the hunt, longing to see pride in his sire's eyes as he had slaughtered hundreds. He'd never seen it, though. Angelus was a bastard that didn't give a damn about anything except making those around him as miserable as he. He wanted to control everything, didn't want anyone to be a threat to his power. He'd known how to do it, too. Knew exactly what to say, how to look, what to do to destroy every ounce of confidence Spike ever possessed. He'd never been good enough for Angelus, never been ruthless enough or cunning enough or willing enough. He was too strong, too much of a threat. Angelus had hated him even as he had craved him. Poofster got off on controlling him, putting him in his place, reminding him who he belonged to. Fucking and beating, all part of the game. Spike had done his best to please, but it had never been enough. As long as he was strong and could think for himself, as long as he wasn't weak-minded and insane like Drusilla, he'd never have Angelus' approval.

Over the years, you'd think his need to please his sire would have faded. Hell, if anything, it had gotten worse since he'd received the damn implant. Now, he was helpless in so many ways. Angelus would be so entertained at the knowledge that he couldn't even feed himself. Maybe now, not being able to be his true self, he'd have Angelus' affection. He scowled at the direction of his thoughts, hating Angelus with the same heart that loved him. His Red would never have to feel like this. He'd never give her any reason to doubt his feelings for her. If she displeased him, he'd make sure she never repeated the mistake. If she pleased him, he'd show her with every action that he could think of. Words were no longer a large part of his life. Strange considering that he had once sought to make his living with them. Once he had died, he'd seemed to slowly forget how to express his thoughts and his feelings with words. He was a man of action now, speaking only enough to make sure people understood what he wanted. He'd tried to use words on Buffy, the slayer ignoring everything he had ever said. She'd wanted the action, the fast shagging and rough mating. She'd never seen him, never known him. He'd been something to use, and he'd let her use him. Hell, he'd have done anything for any scrap of contact she'd have lowered herself to give. Beneath her, she'd called him. Fucking bitch, he really wished he'd never allowed her to play him like that. One of the few things in his life he really regretted. No more, though. That was the past. It was over. She could find another lapdog to shag whenever she snapped her fingers. He was sick of being used by the women he loved. It was time to get some control on his own life, to make some good decisions instead of bad.

He brought his attention back to Willow. She had loved him, even just a bit. He had no doubts of that now that he gave it some thought. Why had she never said anything? Why hadn't she done something that might have caused him to look to her instead of Buffy for the love he craved? Why had she simply allowed herself to fade into the background and shack up with some silly little girl that didn't deserve to touch her much less have her love? Why had he never noticed? He was a fool, a damn blind and stupid fool. How different might things be if he had shagged her that night in her dorm room when he'd been unable to turn her? Could he have turned her if she had been screaming out in passion, her body too confused to take the bite as a threat? If he had turned her then, would she had looked at him with the same depth of love and affection that she did now? Somehow, he didn't think so. He realized that he wouldn't have wanted her not to love him. He had been searching for someone to care for, someone to love, someone that wanted only him for his entire life and unlife. Now that he had her, what was he supposed to do?

He no longer felt that she would leave him, that she would turn away from him. She was his, and she knew it. Just as she seemed to understand without a word that he was hers. When did he become hers? It was just earlier that day that he had been planning on leaving Sunnydale, leaving it all behind to find a way to rid himself of this implant so that he could destroy Buffy's life the way she had destroyed his. Now, he could think of the slayer and feel nothing but self-disgust. When had it happened? When had his feelings of wanting to turn Willow so he'd have an intelligent and beautiful companion become something that almost scared him? When had he started to care for her? When had she started to become someone to love other than someone to love him? He continued to study her sleeping face, having no definite answers. He'd always been attracted to her, always feel a need to possess her, always wanted her by his side. When had that become something more? He'd had the realization that he could very well love her when he had walked into the living room to find her sitting with Dawn, her eyes automatically finding his. It had been that very moment, when he had looked into her green eyes and realized that she hadn't left him, that she seemed to love and need him, that he had felt his heart twist. It had gotten worse when she had smiled at him, that special smile she had always seemed to have reserved just for him even when she had been living, and he had seen that she wasn't fighting anything that had happened, when he had swept her into his arms, her head laying on his shoulder as she willingly gave herself over to his care. It was then that he had understood what it felt like to be loved unconditionally.

And now Niblet and Demon girl were talking about not giving her a soul. They were talking about giving him a choice that he'd had to accept that he no longer had. They were discussing the possibility of giving him a chance to keep her just like she was, of not risking that the soul might change her feelings or her personality. They were giving him an opportunity that he'd never believed possible. He had promised Dawn that she could restore Willow's soul. He hadn't been happy at the idea, but he had agreed. He never broke his promises. But, if she chose not to hold him to his rashly made promise, that changed things. He could keep his Red just as she was now, strong and powerful and loyal and affectionate. If he believed that she would be a danger to Dawn, that she would be unable to control her hunger and desires, he would take the risk of giving her a soul. He didn't want a psychotic bloodthirsty childe to contend with. He'd looked in her eyes, though, and didn't believe she would be out of control. She'd already passed the biggest test, anyway. She'd sat smelling pure virgin blood and not tried to taste. He was proud of that, proud that she was his childe. He wanted her to be proud that he was her sire. He felt her stirring beside him, her eyes opening slowly as she caught him watching her face. A slow smile crossed her face as she licked her lips, her eyes speaking of her desire and need as she moved against him. His beautiful childe. There would be no curse of a soul for her.

********************

Willow woke from her sleep to find his eyes on her face. Her sire had been watching her sleep. She felt his fingers on her face, knew that he had been touching her. She was pleased that he had stayed with her, that he hadn't left her to sleep alone. She was still a bit confused about everything that had happened to her, having memories of a time before now as well as unexplainable feelings that she was beginning to accept from her demon. She had cared for Spike, in the time before now. At one time, she had thought herself in love with him. He had not known, no one had known. That had been before Tara, during Tara, after Tara.

She wasn't really sure if she had ever stopped caring for him. And now, he was hers. Her patience had seemed to be rewarded. She knew that she was dead, knew that she was a vampire. She had memories of reading and fighting and watching vampires. It was different experiencing it. It didn't make sense to her, the heightened senses, the pull she felt towards the lovely man that was watching her with a smile, the thirst and hunger and need, the feelings she had felt for the girl that hugged her, for Dawn. She had never imagined being a vampire being anything like this. In some ways, she didn't feel that different. She still felt like Willow. She had the same memories, the same emotions in her mind, but it wasn't the same. She wasn't the same.

She looked at Spike, felt a need beginning to wash over her body and mind. She licked her lips, not able to express with words what she wanted from him. She wanted to feel him inside her, to possess him and have him possess her, to be surrounded by his scent and his touch. She smiled at him as she moved her hand to cover his, arching her body closer to his. This time, she didn't want fabric of clothes to keep them from consummating their relationship. She needed him, wanted him to claim her in every way possible. She had to know if he felt the same connection that she felt, that he needed her as much as she seemed to need him. She looked into his eyes, saw them darken before he lowered his head and claimed her lips in a possessive kiss. His tongue entered her mouth, claiming her as his hand began to move down her body. She whimpered out of need, returning his kiss with the same possessiveness and desire.

He could drown in the taste of her. It was the closest thing to heaven he'd ever experience, and she was his. He moved his hand underneath his shirt that covered her. There was time for slow and gentle later. Now, he wanted her, wanted what he had been denied earlier due to his decision to wait until she was fully aware. She wanted him, wanted this. He caressed her breast, squeezing the plump flesh as he twisted her nipple causing her gasp against his mouth. He deepened their kiss as his right hand moved to unzip his jeans. The scent of her arousal was thick, mixing with his own. Finally, he freed his cock. He ran his thumb over the head, not at all surprised to find it weeping with pre-cum. He moved between her legs, nudging them farther apart as he pushed his jeans lower. She was soaking wet, her juices leaking onto the blanket beneath them. He knew it had been awhile since she'd had a man, if you could call that mangy old wolf a man, knew she would be tight and unaccustomed to his width and length. He didn't care, sinking deep inside her coolness with one painful thrust. He felt her nails digging into his back as she arched up against him, his mouth catching her cry.

He began to move inside her, deep thrusts that sent her small body into the mattress. She met every thrust, grinding herself against him as she moved. She worked the muscles in her cunt, squeezing him as she tightened on each downward thrust. He tore his mouth from hers, moving down to take her breast into his mouth. His shirt was pushed above her breasts, the fabric moving against his forehead as he sucked on her hard nipples. Soft moans came from her swollen lips, her eyes flashing yellow when she felt his finger rub against her clit. She looked down into his eyes, found him watching her face even as he teased her nipples. She bit her lip to keep from screaming as she came, remembering that there was a young girl in the next room. She saw his eyes flash yellow as the blood began to drip from her lip, his mouth claiming hers as his tongue licked at the wound. His body began to move faster, deep and quick strokes that had his balls hitting her ass. She wanted him to cum, wanted to feel his seed inside her. It wouldn't much longer, his actions becoming more hurried as he let her mouth go. She felt him against her neck, his tongue tasting his claiming bite from earlier. She watched as he moved his head to the side, barring her own bite on his neck. He was giving her permission to feed from him.

Spike bit deep into the bite on her neck as he felt himself cum, her blood entering his mouth as his seed was sent deep inside her grasping cunt. He moaned when he felt her teeth in his neck, finding release a second time at the sensation of her drinking from him at the same time he was drinking from her. She tightened her muscles around his cock, not wanting to let him go. He didn't want to go. He'd have been perfectly content to stay buried inside her, but he knew she still needed to sleep, even if she didn't realize it. When she had drunk enough, he pulled her head away, claiming her lips in a kiss. When he pulled back, she was looking at him with those gorgeous green eyes, a satisfied smile crossing her face as she finally relaxed her grip on his cock. She didn't speak, not needing to say anything. He could read everything she was feeling by looking into her eyes. He slid out of her, not bothering to pull his jeans up. He kicked them off, laying beside her completely nude as he pulled his shirt back down to cover her breasts. She snuggled against him, a sleepy smile crossing her face as her eyes slowly drifted shut.

He listened intently, hearing only the sounds of some silly movie from the living room. It was louder, presumably turned up when the sounds of their coupling became obvious to the two girls in the living room. They were talking about the movie so maybe they hadn't heard him and his childe together. If they had heard, they hadn't dared interrupt which proved intelligent of them. He wouldn't have been very happy at being interrupted. He looked down at Willow, a smile crossing his handsome face. She was his, just as he was hers. There was no doubt in his mind that they belonged to each other. He closed his eyes as he held her body against his, knowing that he needed some rest. Soon, he had followed her into sleep.

********************

Anya woke up to the smell of frying bacon and, she sniffed the air again, toast. Her eyes opened as she stretched, finally sitting up and glancing towards her kitchen. Dawn was cooking. A wave of fear washed over the demon before she realized that the teen seemed to sort of know what she was doing. She got off the sofa bed, covering a yawn as she walked towards the kitchen to see what was being cooked.

"Good morning," Dawn smiled at Anya before turning her attention back to the bacon. She had been awake for over an hour, finally getting out of bed about ten minutes before when her stomach had started rumbling. She had found bacon in the fridge and decided to make breakfast. She always felt better if she stayed busy. Today, she needed to feel confident and strong. Because, today was the day she told Spike that she thought Willow would be better off without a soul and today was the day that she would go visit Buffy in the hospital and tell her sister what had happened. She'd checked the phone but there had been no message left from Xander. That had been the final straw as far as he was concerned in her life. She didn't give a darn what he thought and felt about anything.

"I hate mornings," Anya grumbled, looking at the bacon and stealing a piece of it before Dawn could stop her. "This is actually pretty good."

"Hey, I can cook," Dawn defended, "sometimes. I don't do pancakes well but I'm an expert at bacon. I know the perfect way to get it crisp."

"You're burning the toast," Anya pointed to the toaster, having to smile as Dawn cursed and pushed the button to get the toast out.

"I don't do toast that well either," Dawn sighed, looking at Anya before both girls cracked up in laughter. "I'll try it again."

"Why don't I do the toast," Anya suggested, moving to put fresh bread into the toaster. She looked at Dawn as she waited for the toast to cook, asking, "so, it's the day after. What are you thinking?"

"That it seems like it's been the longest day of my life," Dawn admitted, running a hand through her hair as she made a face. "I mean, it hasn't even really been a day since I got off the bus, yet it seems likes it's been forever. Tara's dead and I don't know what to do about that. I mean, we don't have the money to bury her but I'm not sure if her family will send for her body and I don't want to leave her like that. I loved Tara like a sister, and Willow wouldn't want us to just forget her."

"I never liked Tara that much," Anya admitted honestly. "I always thought that she was just there, you know? I accepted her because of Willow but never really cared that much for her. If you need money to bury her, I can loan you some from my savings, I suppose."

"What?" Dawn looked at the demon in surprise. First, she'd been talking about not liking Tara and now she was offering to pay for her funeral? Would she ever understand Anya?

"Money. Bury the dead little witch," Anya said slowly speaking as if Dawn was hard of hearing. "Would that stop you from talking and worrying about the body so that we can move on to more important things?"

"Thanks, Anya," Dawn said softly.

"I just don't want to hear you talking about Tara constantly," Anya said, rolling her eyes. "Besides, I'll make sure you pay me back eventually."

"Okay, sure," Dawn fought a smile as she finished cooking the bacon. She turned the burner off and moved the pan before turning back to Anya, "Once Spike wakes up, I think we should talk to him about the whole soul thing."

"You still don't want to give Willow a soul?" Anya asked before she took another piece of bacon.

"Nope," Dawn said the one word very firmly. "Later this morning, would you drive me to the hospital? I want to see Buffy and tell her what happened, get it over with."

"Sure, I'll call Alice in to work at the store today," Anya said, mentioning the woman she had hired shortly after Giles had left for England. "She wants more money and I guess I will have to give it to her since I am more needed here."

"Good. I want to get that behind me," Dawn said with a grimace. She wasn't looking forward to talking to Buffy at all, that ranking up there on her list of worse things she would ever have to do in her life. She was glad that Anya was going to back her on the soul issue, and that the demon would take her to visit her sister. It would be nice having someone that supported her decision to give her that extra push if she needed it after facing Buffy and Xander.

"If the slayer gives you attitude, just tell her to fuck off," Anya said with a slight smile. "She'll be shocked speechless and that will give you a chance to leave without hearing her bitching and whining."

"I think I'll have to remember that advice," Dawn giggled as she and Anya put the food on the table and started to eat, waiting for Spike to wake up so they could talk to him about the soul restoration and their belief that it shouldn't be performed.

********************

The dishes were washed and put away by the time the bedroom door opened. Dawn looked up, her eyes looking over Spike, noticing the bite on his neck as well as the scratches on his chest and flat stomach. She'd never really understood the term six pack until she had seen Spike without his shirt. His hair was tousled and looked pretty darn sexy if she were honest with herself. He'd definitely just woken up, his blue eyes still slightly sleepy and she watched as he covered a yawn. Thankfully, he was wearing his jeans, though she did notice the top button was unfastened. She looked away from him, a slight blush on her face. She didn't want to get caught ogling him, though who would really blame her? He was one of the most gorgeous guys she'd ever seen, and that included the actors from her favorite movies and television programs. Spike was a hunk. A yummy, half-dressed, undead hunk. What girl her age wouldn't ogle, just a bit? Hell, what girl of any age wouldn't ogle?

"How's Willow?" Anya asked as she looked at Spike, having not seen the redhead since early the previous evening.

"She's sleeping," Spike stretched, having just slept for over six hours straight. It was the longest period of time he could remember sleeping so peacefully in his recent memory. The only reason he had gotten out of bed when he had drifted awake was because he knew the girls would be wanting to talk to him this morning. He wanted to see what they had to say before snuggling back up to his beautiful childe.

"But she's doing well?" Anya wanted specifics. If there was any doubt that Willow without a soul might not be a good idea, she wanted to know before they suggested their idea of not bothering with the temporary soul restoration. She didn't think there should be any problems at all, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"She's doing well," Spike caught Anya's eyes, an affectionate smile crossing his face as he thought about his childe, "she's doing far better than I would have expected, honestly. She's got total control."

"She hugged me and didn't even try to bite," Dawn reminded Anya, turning back to look at the two demons once she was certain that she wouldn't openly drool over Spike's half naked body. "Spike, I know I made you promise to give Willow a soul yesterday, but I don't want to curse her like that."

"Neither do I, Niblet," Spike said as he sat down in the large chair beside the sofa. "She's not a danger to anyone that isn't a threat to her or anyone she cares for."

"So you won't make us restore her soul?" Dawn beamed, glad that he agreed with them. She had been slightly worried that he might want to give Willow the soul anyway. She had been ready to argue with him, if necessary, had he insisted. She knew enough about vampires to know that a soul would not be a good thing. She didn't like the idea of Willow being forced into being someone she no longer was, which the soul would have done. Besides, Anya had said that the demon might have resented the soul so much that Willow would have become a monster or a danger. Now, she was still Willow, just the undead version.

"If you relieve me of my promise, she will remain as she is," Spike said, giving Dawn a slight smile.

"You're relieved of your promise, then," Dawn said, looking at Anya, "he's not going to make us restore her soul!"

"I can hear, Brat," Anya said, laughing at the teen's enthusiasm about not giving Willow a soul.

"Sire?" a soft voice spoke from the door. Willow entered the living room, moving to her sire's side. His arm went around her waist as he pulled her towards him, his face lifting as she leaned down and brushed her lips against his.

"Morning, pet," Spike whispered as he pulled back from her kiss. She moved to sit on his lap, her head resting against his shoulder as he glanced at Dawn and Anya, who were both watching with curiosity in their eyes.

"I woke up and you weren't there," Willow said softly, having not liked waking up without him beside her. She had felt his presence, though, and known that he was just in the other room. Still, she wanted to let him know she hadn't been happy waking up alone.

"Hello, Willow," Dawn spoke up, watching as green eyes moved to look at her.

A small smile crossed Willow's face as she recognized Dawn, "Hi, Dawny."

"Do you feel okay, Willow?" Anya asked, causing the green eyes to focus on her.

"Anya," Willow smiled, looking around the apartment and remembering, "this is your home."

"Yes, it's my apartment," Anya said, impatient for an answer but relieved to see that Dawn had been right. Willow was in control of herself and there was a lot of their Willow remaining in those green eyes. She relaxed finally, glad to see that it appeared that they had made the right decision after all. This vampire didn't need a soul. She was strong enough to control her demon without a soul.

"You helped," Willow looked back at Anya, smiling a soft smile, "I'm still sleepy, but I missed Spike. The world has stopped spinning finally. I'm kind of hungry."

"I'll feed you, luv," Spike said, causing her to turn and look into his eyes. He studied her, pride flashing in his blue eyes as he realized that she was, indeed, hungry and hadn't even attempted to move towards Dawn to try to feed. He couldn't understand how she had gained so much control in such a short time, remembering that it had taken him far longer to master his demon. He reminded himself that there were different circumstances between his turning and awakening and hers. It didn't really matter, anyway. She had the control she needed to survive. She also completely accepted his role in her life, had missed him when she had woken up, was now looking at him with affection and desire.

"Um, Spike," Dawn spoke quietly, hating to interrupt whatever was happening between Willow and Spike, but needing to let him know, "Anya's going to take me to the hospital to see Buffy so that I can tell her everything that's happened and check on her. Will you be okay here while we're gone?"

"Buffy?" Willow turned her head to focus on Dawn, eyes narrowing as she had memories of the blonde slayer, of how the girl had treated her sire, of a friendship that had existed over five years. She looked at her sire, saw him watching her, looked into his eyes. He no longer cared about the slayer. She relaxed, the anger leaving her as she realized that Spike remembered that he was hers, that he wanted to be hers. She thought of Buffy and felt nothing. When she had thought of Dawn, she had remembered caring and still felt protective of the girl that was watching her even now. When she thought of Buffy, she felt nothing at all. Memories. That's all that was there inside her head. She moved her hand to Spike's face, running her fingers through his hair and tightening her grip as her eyes flashed yellow, "Mine," she whispered possessively before she claimed his mouth in a rough kiss.

Spike returned the kiss, his hand moving to draw her head closer. He had seen the flash of jealousy in her eyes when she had thought of Buffy, had seen the anger take her over. She had let it go, though. He wasn't sure why she had been angry, but he felt rather pleased to see the jealousy, as did her need to claim him with a kiss to remind him who he belonged to. She needn't bother. He could think of the slayer now and feel nothing except disgust with himself. Since he had pulled Willow into his arms the previous afternoon, she had become his world. He had accepted that, embraced it. She was his just as he was hers.

"Please keep the sex in the bedroom," Anya said as she rolled her eyes. She had had a long day yesterday and did not need to be sitting here watching two vampires devour each other in her favorite comfy chair. She did have to admit that, had she not be so tired, she probably would have enjoyed the show. They were both very attractive and the connection between them was practically visible as was the attraction and desire. They complimented each other in a way that made her envious. She glanced at Dawn and saw the teen watching intently, speaking up, "Vampires, please remember that there is a teen-age girl in the room. She can't even get into R rated movies without an adult so I sincerely doubt that she needs to be watching what could very likely turn into an NC17 situation at any moment."

"Anya!" Dawn glared at the demon, hating to interrupt Spike and Willow. She couldn't remember seeing anything quite this hot even on the cable channels after dark when she would sometimes stay up extra late and watch. The only thing that she could think when watching Willow and Spike share that heated kiss was that they seemed to belong together. It made sense, them kissing and sharing whatever bond there was between them. She'd never really believed in fate or destiny, but now she had proof right in front of her that it existed. It was completely romantic at the same time it was incredibly sexy.

Willow released Spike's mouth, looking at the two women that were sitting on the sofa, her eyes flashing from yellow to green as she tried to ignore the desire to simply lift her shirt and bury Spike deep inside her. She ached for him, needed to feed and fuck, but not with an audience. She licked her lips, giving Dawn a soft warning, "Be careful, Dawny, when you talk to your sister."

"Yeah, Niblet, be careful," Spike said softly, his voice husky from desire. He glanced at the teen and added, "Red and I will be fine here while you two go to the hospital."

"Remember, sex in the bedroom only," Anya warned, winking at Spike as she grabbed her purse, knowing that she'd better get Dawn out of the room before the girl witnessed the mating of her two favorite people in the world.

"I'll be careful," Dawn said, "and we'll uh take the long way home, give you two some private time and all."

Spike waited until the door shut behind the two women before he stood quickly, his mouth finding Willow's as she unfastened his jeans. Her long legs wrapped around his waist as he moved his mouth down to her chest. He pulled her down onto his hard cock as he carried her into the bedroom, nearly falling when he kicked the door shut. She giggled as he kept his balance, his jeans down around his knees causing him to walk slowly, his hands moving her hips up and down against his cock, she tightened around his length causing him to groan. They fell to the bed, his legs moving to kick his jeans to the floor, looking up and catching her eyes, laughing together before kissing again. Soon, the only sounds in the bedroom were the sounds of their coupling.

********************

Dawn stood outside the hospital room, taking several deep breaths. She could hear the low murmur of voices inside, recognizing Buffy and Xander. Anger went through her as she realized that Xander must not have left the hospital yet. He'd stayed all night, not caring enough to let anyone else know that Buffy was in the hospital. The anger gave her the courage she needed to finally walk inside. She watched as Buffy stopped talking to Xander, looking at her in surprise as she entered the room. Her eyes took in the machines that were hooked into her sister, noticed the color in Buffy's cheeks, decided that the slayer was doing well. She ignored Xander completely as she took another step inside. "Hey, you."

"Dawn," Buffy was surprised to her sister. She had been in and out of consciousness all day yesterday, but she knew that no one had been to visit except for Xander, who hadn't left her side. She'd assumed Dawn had gone to school and that the others hadn't wanted to bother her yet. "Why aren't you in school?"

"It's nice to see you, too, Buffy," Dawn said with a pained smile. "About school, I didn't go. Too much going on, you know? Didn't seem all that important."

"You could have come by to see me after class," Buffy argued, frowning as she glared at Dawn. She just didn't know what to do with her sister sometimes. She hated being responsible for the teen, didn't want to be a parent when she, herself, was barely twenty-one. It was times like this that she really missed her mother. "You shouldn't have skipped school."

"I can take her in late, if you want," Xander offered, not wanting to see Buffy upset for fear that it might hinder her recuperation. He'd honestly thought he might lose her the previous day. Now that it appeared she was going to be okay, he didn't want anything to stop the healing process.

"I'm not going to school," Dawn said, glaring at Xander. She looked back at Buffy and said, "Did you not think that I would like to know you were in the hospital? I mean, I know you don't really care about anyone but yourself, but didn't it ever cross your mind that I might be worried?"

"Dawn, I'm too tired to argue with you," Buffy said, stopping when she realized what her sister had said, "Wait, what do you mean I don't care about anyone but myself? I've spent the last year raising you. And what are you talking about not knowing I was here?" "Xander didn't bother to call, Buffy. No one called to let me know you were shot and in the hospital," Dawn explained.

"You never called them?" Buffy looked at Xander and watched as his eyes widened.

"No, I guess I didn't," Xander admitted. "It all happened so fast and I was worried, and I guess it slipped my mind."

"It slipped your mind?" Dawn glared at him, counting to ten before just looking away knowing that she might say something she'd regret later if she continued that conversation. She moved to the side of the bed, looking at Buffy and realizing that her sister had assumed they'd been called. It didn't make her less angry at Xander, but it took away some of the anger at Buffy. She sat down on the edge of the hospital bed, her voice serious as she said, "Buffy, I have to tell you something and I really don't know how you're going to take it."

Buffy couldn't believe that Xander hadn't called home to tell them what had happened. She looked at Dawn, frowning at her sister's words. Suddenly, she asked, "If Xander didn't call, how did you know I was here?"

"That's what I need to talk to you about," Dawn said quietly. "The police told me yesterday."

"The police?" Xander frowned, wondering why the police had been back. Maybe they'd found that little bastard Warren. He asked, "Did they catch Warren? Did they arrest him?"

"Warren? That little geek guy? Is he the one responsible for all this?" Dawn asked Buffy.

Buffy nodded, "Yes, he came after me yesterday in the back yard. Couldn't defeat me fairly, he had to use a gun."

"He's a coward, Buffy. Besides, he didn't defeat you. You're alive and the police will catch him," Xander said.

Dawn ignored Xander little pep talk to her sister, speaking to Buffy, "Well, they can charge him with murder if they catch him. You see, Buffy, you weren't the only one shot yesterday. When I got home from school, I found Tara and Willow."

"Oh God," Buffy felt as if someone had grabbed her heart and was squeezing it too tight. Murder? She hadn't died. That could only mean...."What happened, Dawn?"

"Tara was dead," Dawn whispered, her mind taking her back to the previous afternoon. "There was so much blood."

"What about Willow?" Xander demanded, needing to know his childhood friend was okay.

"Willow was dying," Dawn sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I tried calling you, Buffy, but you didn't pick up. I didn't find out until later, after it was all done, that you'd been shot and taken to the hospital."

"After what had been done?" Buffy asked, wondering why Dawn wasn't answering Xander's question.

"The only person I could reach was Spike," Dawn continued as if Buffy hadn't spoken. She felt a hand grip her wrist, looking at Buffy in surprise as her sister's grip tightened.

"Spike? What the hell did you do, Dawn?" Buffy asked, not caring that she was hurting Dawn. She wanted to know what Spike had to do with anything.

"Let go of me," Dawn said, trying to pull her arm free. "I saved Willow! I asked Spike to turn her because I didn't want to lose her!"

"You stupid little girl," Buffy said, letting Dawn go. She shook her head, "No, no way. There is no way that my best friend is now a vampire. Spike wouldn't turn her just because you asked. This is some cruel joke, isn't it? Payback because you weren't called yesterday?"

"Do you really think I could do that?" Dawn asked softly, rubbing her bruised wrist. "That I would lie about this just to get you back?"

"I can't believe you'd let that monster near Willow," Xander said, disgust in his eyes as he looked at the teen.

"Monster?" Dawn let all of her anger come forward as she looked at Xander, her eyes flashing as she said, "I'd say that you were the uncaring monster, Xander. If you'd gone inside before going to the hospital with your precious Buffy, you might have been able to save them both! It had been an hour at least by the time I found them. An hour that Willow lay slowly bleeding to death! Do you think that I wanted her to become a vampire? I couldn't think of any other solution. There was no other solution. It was too late by the time I found her."

"Don't blame Xander for this," Buffy said, her hazel eyes confused and tired. "Why didn't you call an ambulance? They might could have saved her in time."

"There wasn't any time, Buffy," Dawn said, rolling her eyes, wondering why they wouldn't just listen to her. "She was dying! The only way to keep from losing her was to have Spike turn her."

"I won't accept this," Buffy said, shaking her head. "I can't accept that my own sister handed over my best friend to that bastard!"

"He wasn't so much of a bastard that you wouldn't fuck him," Dawn reminded. She wasn't prepared for the slap, her head snapping to the side as Buffy's hand made contact with her cheek. She looked at Buffy in surprise, seeing the disgust and anger in her sister's eyes. She reacted without even thinking, her hand raising as she slapped Buffy's face. She got off the bed, her hand moving to hold her cheek, "It's already done. Willow is Spike's childe. I just wanted to tell you, to see if you could understand why I did it. I was stupid for thinking you'd care. Tara's dead! Willow was dying. Spike saved her! And all you seem to care about is the fact that she's now a vampire."

"You hit me," Buffy said, holding her face, looking at Dawn as if she'd never seen her before. "She's not Willow if she's a vampire. You made her into a monster. She would have been better off dead than to be a demon."

"She's still Willow," Dawn argued, finally just deciding not to bother, "Forget it. You'll never understand. I don't know why I bothered coming here. Willow's a vampire, Tara is dead, and you'll be just fine in a few days. And she wouldn't have been better off dead! Did she think that about you when she spent months trying to find a way to bring you back? No, she didn't. But, see, that's the difference between you and Willow. You're a selfish bitch and she's the best person I've ever met."

"I'm not dealing with all this now," Buffy said as she fell back against her pillow. "I'm too tired to argue with you, Dawn. We'll finish this discussion some other time, when I'm out of the hospital."

"Does she have her soul?" Xander asked, wondering if that was why Dawn said she was still Willow.

"No," Dawn said, glaring at him. It was all his fault. He belonged with Buffy. They were both selfish and didn't care about anyone but themselves. They could both rot for all she cared. "She isn't going to have a soul. She can still be Willow without a stupid soul, but then you two wouldn't get that because you never see anything except black and white. Gray doesn't seem to exist in your perfect little world."

"Dawn, I don't know what happened to you, but I don't like it," Buffy said, glaring at her sister.

"I don't care what you like," Dawn said, feeling confident and strong enough to tell her sister exactly what she thought for the first time in her life. "This is my life, my decisions. I didn't want to lose Willow so I made sure that I wouldn't. Don't worry, I'll make sure you never have to be around her. I wouldn't want her hurt because you're both close-minded idiots. There is nothing left to discuss."

"I'm going to be in here for another few days," Buffy said, acting as if Dawn hadn't said a word. "When I get out, we'll discuss this. Maybe we can do a soul restoration and fix it so it's not so much of a mess."

"There won't be a soul restoration," Dawn said, "forget it. I'm out of here. You both make me sick!"

"Where are you going?" Xander asked.

"I'm staying with friends," Dawn said, glaring at him before looking at Buffy, "I won't be back here, Buffy. When you get out, if you're ready to accept everything, then we can talk."

"I don't want you around her if she doesn't have a soul, Dawn. She's dangerous. And Spike would let her kill you just to hurt me," Buffy said.

"He doesn't give a damn about you, Buffy," Dawn said, smiling for the first time since entering the hospital room. "Isn't that great? He's finally found someone to love that will love him back. You're a thing of the past, Sis. Willow would never hurt me, unlike you. Get well soon, Buffy."

"Dawn, do not leave this room," Buffy said, conflicted by the need to keep her sister safe and by the desire to just let the girl go so she wouldn't have to be responsible anymore.

Dawn stood in the doorway, looked directly into Buffy's eyes and repeated Anya's earlier advice, "Fuck off, Buffy," before she turned and left, letting the door shut behind her as she made her way downstairs to where Anya was waiting for her. Well, that had been a whole lot of fun, she grimaced as she rubbed her sore cheek, seeing the bruises already forming on her wrist, deciding that that had gone about like she had expected. She hurried down the stairs, eager to get back to the apartment to tell Spike and Anya what had happened. She had defended her actions, been strong in her convictions, and had hit Buffy back! Overall, she felt pretty proud.

********************

Anya was sitting on the hood of her car waiting for Dawn. It had only been fifteen minutes, and she was already sick of waiting. She'd never been patient, not as a human, not as a demon, not during her second time as a human, and certainly not now. There was stuff that needed to be done, issues to resolve. It was rather annoying to just be stuck waiting with nothing to do. She laid back and looked at the sky, her mind thinking through everything that had happened and could happen. She wanted to be prepared for anything, knowing that she would do whatever it took to protect Spike and Willow. They were the only friends that she had, two of the few people in the world that she trusted and could honestly say that she cared for. Willow the most, but she had a soft spot for Spike too, respecting him and being a bit afraid of the power that he still possessed even in the implanted form. Yes, she could honestly say that she would do anything for those two. Okay, maybe even Dawn, now, if it ever came to that, though she didn't think even Buffy was selfish enough to turn on her own sister. She didn't trust the slayer, though, so she thought it would be best to have every angle covered.

She had no doubts that Buffy and Xander would freak out when hearing about Willow's turning. Neither one would give a thought to the fact that Willow would now be dead if she hadn't been turned. They'd all be so caught up in the whole vampire issue that they wouldn't see past that to what could have been. The soul thing was another problem. Sure, it was all well and good that they had decided not to give Willow her soul, but that didn't mean that someone else couldn't try to curse her. Her mind brought forth an image of Giles, knowing that the watcher would have the best resources available to find something that might work. He probably wouldn't even care if he used the Romany curse with its stupid stipulation of the moment of happiness bullshit. She could easily see them trying to get Willow away from Spike and doing that stupid curse. They all had tunnel vision, seeing only that Willow was a vampire and thus she must need a soul so that they can keep things pretty similar to how they always were. Stupid humans. She couldn't stand any of them anymore. Okay, so Dawn wasn't as bad as she had always thought, but she didn't necessarily like the little brat. Grudging admiration, maybe. But actually like the annoying and talkative teen? Nope, not this demon.

The soul was the biggest issue in her mind at the moment. She knew a solution though. Was rather proud that she had remembered it. During her research for the soul restoration the night before, she had stumbled across a spell that would solve that worry fairly easily. She needed to call her contact in Athens to get the wording because, the previous evening, she hadn't had a need for it. She rolled her head and looked at the dashboard, a large smile crossing her face as she saw the slayer's cell phone that Dawn had left. She got up, grabbing the phone, a pen and a notebook from her purse and then laid back down on the car. Dialing the number, she decided it was only fair that the slayer pay for the long distance charges since it was her fault that Anya would need to perform the spell. She reached her friend, telling him what she needed. She clarified that there was no way around it, no spells that could destroy it once it was performed. Satisfied that it was the perfect solution to the threat of unwanted soul restorations, she made the deal with him and then took down every detail. It wasn't that much, when she studied it after hanging up. It amazed her that there seemed to be a spell for anything nowadays. In the early years, you'd be lucky to find anyone that could put out a proper curse. Now, with the internet and abundance of ancient texts, you could find something for everyone.

Anya put the paper with the spell in her pocket, knowing that they could stop by the Magic Box on the way back to her apartment to pick up the supplies she needed. Besides, it would give her a chance to check on Alice and make sure things were running okay without her there. She pulled the paper back out, making some notes on the back. She knew there was one other spell that would need to be performed for the time being, something real easy that she'd done many times in her life. She just wanted to make sure to pick up what she needed so it could be done as soon as they got to her apartment. Maybe the extra time it would take for all this would allow Willow and Spike the chance to get the sex out of their systems for the time being. They had serious things to take care of when she got back, spells to perform and bases to be covered. Couldn't concentrate if the two of them were wanting to shag the entire time.

Anya looked back at the sky, thinking about what could happen if Buffy and Xander shocked the hell out of her and accepted everything. Deciding that the likelihood of that happening was right up there with her wanting to become human again, she moved on to a different topic for concentration. Okay, she had the soul thing taken care of. They wouldn't be able to get an unwanted soul into Willow, no matter what spell they tried. What other trouble could those two morons cause for Willow and Spike? She ran a hand over her face, not liking those images at all. No, she couldn't see even Buffy and Xander trying to kill Willow even if the vampire didn't have a soul. Hell, they could look in her green eyes and be able to see so many traces of the human that they had considered their friend. If they did try to go after Willow, well, there would be no soul to get in the way of the redhead defending herself so that wasn't worth Anya's time to think about at the moment. She was still considering possible outcomes of the discussion with Buffy and Xander when she noticed Dawn leaving the hospital and walking towards her. She glanced at her watch, seeing that it had been a little over half an hour since the teen had entered the building.

Anya sat up, sliding down her car hood until her feet touched the pavement. She looked at Dawn as the girl got closer, her eyes narrowing when she saw what was clearly a handprint on the teen's face. She demanded, "Did that bitch hit you?"

"Yeah, she slapped me when I reminded her that Spike was good enough for her to fuck," Dawn said, adding with a big smile, "but I slapped her back!"

"You didn't?" Anya's eyes widened as a large smile crossed her face. "I'm proud of you, Brat. I take it then that things didn't go very well."

"They went about like I expected," Dawn said as she moved to get into the car. "Xander's a bastard and Buffy's a selfish bitch."

"We need to work on your vocabulary," Anya decided, "you are cursing too much. Though they are adequate descriptions for those two, you need to use non-curse words. You are too young to use profanity in every day circumstances. I heard on a talk show that youth should not use curse words until they were at least eighteen, and really shouldn't even use them then."

"I'm nearly sixteen," Dawn muttered, "I can curse if I want to!"

"Perhaps when you are older, you can use whatever words you want," Anya scolded, "but you need to broaden your words source. I will just have to teach you some other suitable words."

"You will?" Dawn smiled at the thought that Anya would teach her anything, much less some alternate insults. "Like what?"

"Not now," Anya muttered, wondering why she felt the need to be nice to the little brat. She glanced at Dawn, her eyes noticing the fresh bruises on the girl's wrist. Her dislike of Buffy intensified as she realized that the slayer had reacted in such a way.

"Where are we going?" Dawn asked, seeing that they had turned right instead of the left that would take them to Anya's apartment.

"By the store," Anya said, deciding to be truthful with the girl, "I have made a call and found a spell we can use to counter any attempts that the bitch and bastard might try to give Willow a soul."

Dawn felt her lips twist at Anya's use of the same curse words she had just been scolded for using, deciding not to point it out because Anya might not teach her new words to use. Instead, she asked, "They mentioned a soul before I left. Buffy was all convinced that Willow had to have a soul."

"That's what I figured," Anya rolled her eyes. "Stupid cow. Well, we'll take care of that before they get a chance to try anything."

"So, we have like a plan and everything?" Dawn smiled, her eyes lit with enthusiasm at having a plan to protect Willow from Buffy's stupidity.

"Yes, we have a plan and everything," Anya had to laugh at the expression in the girl's face. She didn't seem to care that she had just had a fight with her sister that had left her with a bruised wrist and a slapped face. No, she was to excited at the idea of having a plan to worry about Buffy and Xander and everything could possibly happen.

"I can't wait to tell Spike that I slapped Buffy," Dawn admitted with a laugh. "I wish you guys could have seen the look on her face when I told her fuck off and left. Neither she nor Xander seemed to care that Tara was dead, that Willow was dead. All they cared about was the idea that Spike had turned Willow, that he might use it as a way to get back at Buffy, and that they needed to give Willow a soul so that nothing would change. As if it could ever be like it was! Everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same! They're both too stupid and self-involved to realize that, though."

"You're right," Anya said as she pulled into the parking lot behind the Magic Box. She looked at Dawn, wanting to make sure the girl really did understand, "Nothing is ever going to be the same."

Dawn nodded, sighing as she made a face, knowing that Anya seemed to want to make sure she knew that it was all different now. She knew, had made that decision when she had walked out the hospital. She had chosen Willow over Buffy the minute she had asked Spike to turn the redhead. She was standing beside that choice, no matter how scared and worried she sometimes felt. She gave Anya a smile as she opened the car door and said, "Let's get those supplies so we can get back home and check on our vamps!"

********************

Johnny Bravo was playing on the television by the time Anya and Dawn made it back to the apartment. They had stopped for burgers on the way home, deciding to give Willow and Spike a bit more privacy. When they entered the living room, a smile crossed Dawn's face as she found Spike laying on the sofa, Willow laying on top of him between his legs. She was still wearing his shirt, her head on his chest as her eyes watched the cartoon. Spike wasn't paying attention the television at all, his eyes looking down at Willow's face as his hand brushed through her hair tenderly. She giggled at the antics of the cartoon and looked up at Spike, leaning her head up to kiss him softly before turning to look at the new occupants of the room.

"You're back," Willow smiled, not moving to get up from her comfortable position on her sire. She had fed and was feeling sleepy again, but hadn't been able to back to sleep. It had been Spike's suggestion to get cleaned up and watch some television as they waited for Dawn and Anya to return. Now, the two women were back. She sniffed the air, her eyes half closing as she placed the scent, "you had burgers and fries, didn't you?"

"Yep," Dawn smiled at Willow, still finding it refreshingly odd that the vampire was so much like her friend. "And a chocolate shake!"

"Did you bring me one?" Willow asked, her lips pouting as the teen shook her head no.

"I uh didn't think you'd want one," Dawn said, worried that she had upset Willow. She was relieved when the redhead laughed.

"It's okay," Willow smiled, "I'm full anyway. But, next time, don't forget me!"

"I could never forget you, Willow!" Dawn defended, winking at an amused Spike as she moved closer to the sofa.

Willow's smile faded as her eyes narrowed, "Who hit you?"

"Hmm?" Dawn looked at the vampire in surprise, her hand moving to her cheek. She knew that the imprint had faded sometime when they had been at the store getting supplies.

"I can see the marks from fingers," Willow said, moving to sit up so that she straddled Spike's waist. "Was it the slayer?"

"Your wrist is bruised too," Spike said quietly, his eyes flashing at the idea that Buffy had hurt Dawn. He knew he shouldn't have allowed the teen to face the bitch alone.

"It's nothing," Dawn shrugged, "besides, I hit her back."

"She hit you," Willow looked away, her eyes catching Spike's. She felt an anger going through her at the thought that Buffy had hurt her Dawny.

"You hit her back?" Spike moved to sit up, keeping Willow on his lap. His hand had taken hers, his thumb moving over her palm in a comforting pressure as she adjusted to the demon's anger. He gave Dawn a smile, "Felt good, didn't it?"

"Really good," Dawn confessed with a smile. She glanced at Willow, watching as the vampire continued to stare into Spike's eyes, the tension seeming to visibly fade as the redhead slowly relaxed.

"If she hurts you again," Willow glanced at Dawn, her eyes flashing yellow as she left the statement unfinished.

"Good. There was no sex having in my chair," Anya spoke up for the first time since entering the apartment. She had moved to investigate her chair, wanting to make sure that the sex was only being had in the bedroom. She looked up, a smile on her face as she kneeled on the floor beside the bags she had carried in. "We come bearing gifts."

"Gifts?" Spike looked at her with an arched brow as he moved to sit against the arm of the sofa, giving Dawn enough room at the end to sit down. Willow stayed on his lap, leaning over to move her cool fingers against Dawn's hurt cheek. She wasn't happy that Buffy had hurt someone she considered family. She had control of the anger, knew that Dawn had protected herself, but it didn't change the fact that she wanted to hurt the person that had hurt her own.

"A couple of spells to help keep things nice and quiet," Anya said, her eyes moving from Dawn and Willow back to Spike. "I called a friend, found a spell that will prevent the stupid slayer and her gang of twits from trying to give Willow a soul."

"A soul?" Willow turned to look at the demon, frowning at the idea. "I don't want a soul."

"You won't have one, luv," Spike said, looking at the demon with respect. She was proving far more useful than he'd imagined, planning ahead and thinking of ways to protect his childe. For that, she would always be under his protection. "What sort of spell?"

"It's actually very basic," Anya explained, "I heard about it when I was calling around yesterday, um, talking to some old friends," deciding not to risk upsetting Willow by letting the vampire know they'd considered cursing her with a soul not half a day before. "Anyway, it will protect Willow from any sort of soul restoration. There are no ways around it, no ways to counter the effect. It's permanent and will always protect her, not only from soul restorations but from any other form of magic that is attempted against her."

"I asked Anya to perform it for both of you guys," Dawn spoke up, letting Spike know that she wanted to give him the same protection as his childe. "We didn't want to risk Buffy and the others trying to use you to get to Willow."

"It sounds like a powerful protection spell," Spike said quietly, liking the idea that he and his childe would be immune to any magical attacks made against them by the slayer or anyone else, but he wasn't sure if Willow was strong enough at the moment for some big mumbo jumbo type of spell.

"It is," Anya said, "my contact said that it was very old, very unknown. I mean, it wouldn't do for all vampires to be able to protect themselves from magic like that. I traded in two major favors for this information, and, once it is performed, I have to destroy the words. It's only good for vampires, and can only be performed by a caster that feels unconditional love for the castee. I love both you and Willow, without any doubts in my heart or my head. I can successfully cast the spell on the two of you. It shouldn't be very draining and won't take very long. As I said, it's quite simple really."

"Demon, you will always be considered part of my family," Spike said softly, his eyes moving to look at Willow, "So, pet, do you feel up to it?"

Willow nodded, a pleased smile on her face as she looked at the woman she still considered a friend, "Anya, what do we need to do?"

"I'll get everything set up," Anya said after a minute, still a bit surprised at the sincerity she had seen in Spike's eyes. She was part of his family? She had never considered that he would offer her that protection, never once given a thought to anything other than doing what was needed to protect him and Willow from any kind of magical attack Buffy might try to dream up. She smiled slightly as she realized that she now belonged somewhere. It was a nice feeling, comforting in a way. She looked at Dawn who was smiling at her, a knowing look in the teen's eyes, causing Anya to roll her eyes as she said, "Brat, quit smiling and help me get this ready."

********************

The spell went off without a hitch. Anya had felt the power rush through her body upon saying the final words, watching as both Spike and Willow gasped, the spell working its magic. After she was certain it was over, she took the piece of paper with her notes on it and destroyed it, following through on her end of the bargain. She glanced at the vampires and saw that they looked tired. She knew they must be hungry, having only fed on each other for the last day. She'd picked up some blood while she and Dawn had been out because she figured they would need the extra strength after the spell. She was surprised when Dawn went to the refrigerator and began to prepare two cups of blood without being told. Since that task was taken care of, she cleaned up the supplies.

"Here you go," Dawn said, handing a mug of warm blood to Spike. She handed the other one to Willow before moving to sit down beside Anya. She wanted to ask if they felt any different, if they could tell if the spell had worked. She assumed it had since she had seen the light coming from Anya before it had surrounded the vampires, but she wanted to know for sure. She wanted to put the worry of Buffy trying to soul Willow out of her head so she could concentrate on other things.

"Tastes yucky," Willow muttered as she took a drink of the blood, her eyes flashing yellow as the ridges formed on her forehead.

"You get used to it, luv," Spike said, grimacing as he downed the entire glass. After drinking the sweet blood of his childe for a day, the animal blood tasted even worse.

"You taste better," Willow said with a small smile at her sire before she followed his example and drank the entire mug. She did feel a bit stronger than she had just before so she guessed that was worth the nasty taste. She'd much rather have been feeding from her sire, though. His blood was rich and strong and made her feel warm all over.

"As do you, Red," he said, smelling the soft scent of her arousal as her eyes moved over him. He leaned over and took the mug from her, giving in to his need as he swiftly kissed her before whispering against her lips, "None of that now. Later."

"You're no fun," she pouted as he laughed at her, watching as he walked towards the kitchen, her eyes moving over his back, taking pride in the marks she had made on his pale flesh, past his ass, all the way down to his bare feet. He was hers and he knew it. A smile of satisfaction crossed her face before she turned her attention to the others. She told Anya, "It worked. Thank you."

"No need," Anya said with a quick smile, "that's what friends are for. I'm glad it worked."

"Me too," Dawn echoed, "It's such a relief to know that Buffy won't be able to curse you with a soul or do anything else like that."

"Stupid bitch better leave me and mine alone," Spike said softly, his voice threatening. He moved to Willow, kneeling beside her. He took her face in his hands, his eyes looking into hers, "Are you feeling okay, luv?"

"I'm wonderful, Spike," she said honestly. She loved when he touched her, the feel of his body against hers. It made her feel so many different things, desire, need, comfort, safe, love.

"How does it feel, Willow?" Dawn asked quietly, only speaking when Spike released Willow and moved to lay on the floor behind her, pulling the redhead against him.

"I feel alive," Willow said with a smile at the teen, knowing exactly what Dawn was asking. She noticed Anya gathering supplies and moving to the table, watching as the demon began to perform another spell, seemingly from memory. She was curious but decided to answer Dawn's question instead of asking just yet. Her eyes found the girl's as she continued, "I feel strong and aware of everything. The smells and sounds and all of it are so vivid."

"Do you feel your demon?" Dawn asked, still finding it difficult to understand how it all worked. She knew vampires had a demon, but she didn't get how they were themselves but also the demon when vampires were really just a demon and it all got so confusing that it usually just gave her a headache before she could figure out what it all meant.

"Yes, of course," Willow laughed, "it is part of me now, Dawny. It's different than I can remember thinking it would be when I was human. I don't feel the need to kill everyone, I don't resent the idea of caring. I can feel its presence always, but I have it under control so it's not threatening or anything. I'm sorry, I really don't know how to describe it."

"That's okay," Dawn smiled, "I kind of understand. I'm glad you don't want to kill everyone."

"I'd never hurt you, Dawn," Willow said sincerely before looking back at her sire and asking a question that had been in her mind since she had first woken, "Spike, am I normal?"

"Eh, luv," Spike nodded, "you're bloody perfect."

With his words, Willow raised her head and kissed him, touched by the flash of emotion she had seen in his eyes. Her sire cared for her, something that made her feel even more alive. He thought she was perfect.

"Okay, that does it. Finally finished," Anya said as she put away the last of her supplies. She turned to face them, rolling her eyes as she found them kissing again, "Brat, if their hands start moving, you'd better cover your eyes!"

"Ha ha ha," Dawn looked away from Willow and Spike to stick her tongue out at Anya. "Kissing and groping are still considered PG-13 so there!"

"They sort of ruin the mood, don't they, pet?" Spike whispered in Willow's ear, causing her to giggle.

"I love touching you, kissing you, being near you," Willow said softly, her eyes on his as she confessed her feelings, "it doesn't matter if it's PG touching or unrated touching. I just love the feeling of you."

"If you keep saying things like that, I'm going to have to kiss you again, Willow," Spike said quietly, his fingers moving over her face in a gentle exploration.

"And that's a bad thing why?" she asked with a teasing smile as she moved her body against his slightly.

"I wouldn't be able to stop with just kissing, wench," he muttered, amazed at his reaction and his feelings for her. True, she was his first childe, but it was more than that. What he felt for her scared him. It made what he felt for Buffy seem like nothing, what he felt for Drusilla seem like puppy love. He'd spent a century devoted to his beautiful sire and never once felt what he was feeling for his bewitching redhead after just one day. Willow completed him in a way he'd never imagined experiencing. She belonged with him just as he belonged with her. He didn't understand it, probably would never understand how this fucked up world worked. He was just thankful that he had found her.

"I love you, Spike," she whispered before kissing him softly. Pulling back, she winked at his surprised expression before she turned to the two females that were still arguing over what a PG13 rating really meant. "Anya, what were you doing by the table? It was a spell of some sort, but I didn't really feel any changes in the air so I'm not sure what it was exactly. What was it for?"

********************

The little minx! She tells him she loves him, kisses him like that and then wants to talk to the demon about spells? Spike was still reeling from her words. He knew that she wanted him, needed him, even cared about him, but love? Yet, she'd said the word, her eyes shining with truth. He'd assumed it would take time for her to grow to love him, to care about him as someone other than just her sire. She'd surprised him yet again. She loved him. A slow smile crossed his face as he leaned down and brushed his lips over her neck, his hand moving to lay flat against her stomach, pulling her back against his hardening erection. They would finish this discussion privately, when he could show her just how much he cared about her.

"You did another spell?" Dawn looked at Anya with accusing eyes. "You didn't ask me to help!"

"Didn't need any help, Brat," Anya said. "It was simple. I've done it a hundred times over the last eleven hundred years."

"Well, still, you could have let me watch," Dawn muttered, having liked learning about what to do with the other spell. She'd always loved listening to Willow talk about magic, enjoyed watching the different spells performed, even the ones with bad results. It just fascinated her. She figured some of it was due to the fact that she, herself, was pretty much magic. It had to run in her blood. She knew she felt power sometimes, having the prickly sensation of goosebumps whenever she was around really strong demons or vampires or Willow. Part of that awareness could have come from Buffy's slayer senses, but Dawn liked to think that it was her very own demon radar. Okay, so it had failed her a few times, her mind flashing to her date with a vampire not too long ago, but it was usually pretty consistent when she tapped into it. With Buffy around, she just rarely tried to acknowledge it, knowing her sister would freak if she had any idea that Dawn wasn't just your normal little fifteen nearly sixteen year old girl. Willow knew, though, having been told by Dawn one night following Buffy's death the previous summer. Dawn had more comfortable with it all after that conversation, knowing it was stupid to ignore a natural gift she possessed. Didn't mean she had to announce to everyone that she was even more of a freak than they thought.

"I'll give you a book, we can do some spells some other time," Anya said with a glare at the whiny brat who had interrupted her answering Willow's question.

"Really?" Dawn smiled at that, "You'd teach me? You and Willow, maybe?"

"Of course we'll teach you, Dawny," Willow said, not very surprised to find that the girl had an interest in magic. She had memories of showing the teen relaxation spells and other small, harmless bits of magic.

"What spell were you doing, demon?" Spike asked, wanting this conversation to end so that he could take his redhead into the bedroom and shag her senseless. Teach her to drop a bombshell such as I love you and then start an insane rambling discussion with the two talkative girls.

"Oh, it's a protection spell of sorts," Anya said vaguely. She'd been meaning to perform it since the wedding had been called off and she'd moved into the apartment, but hadn't gotten around to it until now.

"Protection against what?" Dawn asked.

"You know about the whole vampire must be invited into a home thing, right?" Anya said, "well, there is a spell that works in sort of the same way. I found it about a hundred years after I became a demon. Memorized it and use it when it is needed."

"What do you mean, it's sort of like the vampire thing?" Willow asked, "That's not a spell."

"This one is a spell, though. It's an invitation spell," Anya said, seeing their confused looks she groaned, "Let me use small words. It means that no one can enter my home without my invitation. Demons, vampires, or humans."

"That's just cool," Dawn said, glad that Anya was so old and knew so many different people and spells that could help. "That means that Buffy and Xander couldn't come in here and try to take Willow away!"

"That's why I used it, Brat," Anya rolled her eyes. "I'd use it anytime I stayed in an area for longer than a few days. I've been meaning to do it on this place for weeks, but never got around to it until now. Better safe than sorry has always been my motto."

"That's a good motto," Dawn nodded, deciding that might become her new motto.

"Do you think they would try to hurt me?" Willow asked quietly. She felt nothing when she thought of her old friends. They hadn't been very close for years, drifting apart after high school. There were very few new memories of them at all, in fact. She knew she had loved them once, had still cared for them up until her death, but now she felt nothing. Old memories of happier times, scattered memories of the last few years, a sad smile crossed her face as she realized that she had lost her best friends over time.

"I don't think they'd want to hurt you, Willow," Dawn said slowly, watching the sad smile on Willow's face, "but they might hurt you without realizing they were hurting you. Does that make sense?"

"They hurt you," Willow said, her eyes moving over the bruises that were still on Dawn's wrist.

"They'll probably try to restore your soul," Anya said matter of factly, "when that doesn't work, they'll ignore you. That's what they did with me, in a way. Tried to get me to give up the demon again. When I said no, they acted like I never existed."

"You're right," Willow said slowly, knowing how Buffy and Xander had acted towards Anya and remembering how they had treated Spike, Faith, and even Angel. They would forget her soon enough. The sooner the better in her opinion. She had no desire to fight her former friends, but would kill them in a heartbeat if it came to that. She would remain in control and let them see that there was nothing they could do except leave her and hers alone.

"Their world is black and white, which is really stupid considering they fight demons and vampires which is so gray an area it's ridiculous," Dawn spoke up, telling them what she had told Buffy and Xander in the hospital. "I don't think we have anything to worry about, but it is better safe than sorry."

"They're too scared to try anything except a lot of talking," Anya muttered, knowing that was the main reason they hadn't tried to force her to leave and had just decided to ignore her. As long as she wasn't doing anything they considered evil, they'd ignore her rather than face her. Willow was far more powerful as a vampire than she had been as a witch, and Anya knew there was not a chance in hell of Buffy risking her life in regards to the redhead. If anything, the slayer would probably be relieved not to have to deal with a vampire that looked like her best friend. As for Xander, he was an idiot that didn't deserve her even thinking about him, though he was the reason she had done the second spell. She imagined that he would show up eventually to try to find out what was happening. Okay, to his credit, he did consider Willow his best friend at one time, even if he was too stupid to realize that they had grown apart years ago. He would be concerned about the redhead, of that Anya had no doubt, but she knew Xander. He was a nice guy and might even be able to realize that Willow was still Willow, but he had a terrible habit of speaking without thinking. Rather than risk him getting killed for mouthing off like an idiot to Willow and forcing the redhead to deal with the knowledge that she had killed someone she had once loved, she'd make sure he couldn't even get into the apartment. With the right amount of time, he'd calm down and Willow would be ignored.

"And threats," Spike said, remembering all the empty threats he had heard from the slayer.

"I'm feeling a bit tired and sleepy," Willow confessed softly, having been out of bed longer this time than any other. She was tired of thinking about her old friends, just wanted to feel Spike's arms around her as she slept. She glanced at him, saw the soft smile on his face as he looked at her, remembered that she had told him she loved him, wondered what he was thinking. She did love him, had loved him for years. Death and a demon hadn't changed that, merely made her strong enough to be honest about what she felt. She'd always been scared to tell him before, ignoring her feelings as she had moved on to Tara to whom she had felt a soft love for. Looking into his eyes, she recognized that he, too, loved her. Oh, he might not say the words yet, but it was there. She smiled at him, snuggling against him as she moved her butt deliberately over his erection, "Take me to bed, Spike?"

"Of course, luv," his eyes narrowed as desire flashed when she moved against him. He got to his feet, lifting her against him as he nodded at the others, "g'night, girls."

"Night, Anya, Dawn," Willow said before laying her head against Spike's cool chest.

"Should we tell them that it's only afternoon?" Dawn asked with a faint smile at Anya.

"No point," Anya said as she turned on the television, finding an action movie on cable. "It's not like they're going to be sleeping anyway. Just my luck to hand over my bedroom to a couple of sexaholics that can't seem to get enough of each other."

"I think it's sweet," Dawn laughed,

"Not your sheets they're staining up," Anya muttered before looking at the teen and joining her in laughter. "God, I sound bitter and jealous, don't I? How about this movie? It has attractive men and guns."

"If the last times are anything to go by, pick something really loud," Dawn giggled, loving the idea that Spike and Willow seemed to be perfect together but not really wanting to hear the sounds of their mating. It would just make her feel warm and tingling in places she didn't need to be feeling tingly and make her imagine what it might be looking like in the other room which would increase the tingly feeling. Nope, much better to get lose in a loud movie and just be glad that her two friends seemed so happy considering everything that had happened in the last day.

"I'll make some popcorn," Anya said as she turned the volume up just a bit higher before tossing the remote to the teenager. "Let me know if anyone dies violently. I want to see that!"

"You're horrible," Dawn laughed at the demon before turning her attention to the movie that was just starting.

********************

"I love you," Willow whispered again as Spike entered her, his mouth moving over her neck as he licked at her skin.

Spike groaned at her words, moving deep into her. When they had entered the bedroom over an hour before, he'd demanded to hear her repeat those three words, needing to reassure himself that he hadn't been hearing things. She'd smiled that special smile and said them, her eyes sincere but cautious, as if she wasn't sure how he would react to her feelings. He'd moved towards her, claiming her mouth in a kiss that had lasted longer than any other in his memory, the taste of her so intoxicating he'd not wanted to stop. By the time he pulled free, they were naked and she was ready for him. He'd moved her to the bed, entering her completely and that was where he had been ever since. They'd made love, because there was no doubt in his mind that what he was feeling for her was love. It was the first time he'd made love in years. Hell, probably a century if he were completely honest with himself.

While he had loved Drusilla all those years, they'd never had a moment such as this. His sire had been trained to want pain, to not find enjoyment in tenderness or soft fleeting touches. She'd only been able to cum if she were being hurt, if it was rough and animalistic. Angelus had made sure that Dru would never want to be cuddled or held, the handsome vampire not having time or patience for such activity. After Dru, well, Spike tried his best not to think about the mistake that was Harmony. He'd been lonely and she'd been convenient. He'd not wanted to touch her anymore than was needed to find his own release, kicking her out of the bed as soon as he had cum usually. As for Buffy, well, tender and gentle would not be two words used to describe their times together either. She'd wanted to fuck and he'd obliged. He'd fucked her like no one ever would, giving her everything she had needed but never getting anything in return. He'd let her use him the way he had used Harmony. Pathetic, it was. He could look back now and be disgusted at his actions, at how weak he had been. She'd never wanted him, never liked him, and he hadn't cared. He'd have gladly followed her anywhere for any scrap of decency she'd have thrown him. She would never have loved him, though. She was like Drusilla in that way. Hell, maybe that was one reason he'd wanted her in the first place. She'd reminded him of his beautiful sire that would never love him.

He felt cool fingers brushing over his cheeks, a thumb against his lips. Raising his head, he opened his eyes, the memories leaving him immediately when he looked into her green eyes. She loved him. This beautiful creature, so full of strength and power, loved him. There was only truth in her eyes, sincerity in her touch, need in her kiss, desire in her voice. She was beyond anything he'd ever imagined. He'd dreamed of claiming her, wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with her, but he'd never once considered she would love him. He'd had plans to seduce her, to hear her begging for him, but never dared hope that she would give herself willingly, that she would look at him like she was now. He'd resigned himself long ago to the fact that Drusilla was right, that he would never find anyone to love, had given up the search even before he had found Willow. Now, he felt like a fool. A blind, stupid fool. All those years, she'd wanted him, had loved him, and he'd never once seen it. Oh, sure, he'd seen signs of a crush. Had thought for a while back after her wolf left that she might be interested but figured it was just some passing fancy on her part. She'd never said anything, had fallen into her sickeningly sweet relationship with the little witch that hadn't deserved to touch her much less love her. And he'd decided that he'd imagined things, that she'd never have wanted him. She was pure, even with the magic flowing in her veins. She was innocent despite the evil that she had seen throughout the years. She was unattainable, something that he had secretly coveted and desired even when he had turned his attentions to Buffy and the mixed up feelings the slayer caused in him. She'd been attainable, in a way, something he knew he could possess eventually. He'd hoped she would fill the emptiness in his life, but she hadn't. She'd used him and thrown him away when she was finished, and he could blame no one but himself.

He guessed he couldn't really bitch too much. If it had happened differently, if he'd made so much as one alternate choice, he wouldn't be where he was now, he wouldn't have what he now had. He wouldn't have Willow. When he looked at things that way, imagining life without his beautiful childe, well, it was all worth it. The implant, Harmony, miserable years in Sunnyhell, even Buffy. It was worth every second of unhappiness and pain to now have his stunning Red in his life, in his bed, for eternity. He'd never vocalize that realization, knowing he sounded worse than the horrible poet he had once been. It was hard to believe that it had only been a day, twenty-four hours, since he had first taken Willow into his arms as she lay dying. He honestly couldn't imagine his life now without her by his side. She was not only his childe, but she was becoming his companion, his lover, his friend. She needed him, wanted him, loved him in ways that no one in his life ever had before. Even now, she was looking at him with devotion and lust and so many other emotions burning in those brilliant green eyes that had haunted his dreams for so many years. He couldn't speak the words yet, had been hurt too often in his past by saying them, could not risk taking the chance yet, but he could show her with his touch, with his eyes, with his lips what he could not yet say. He loved her.

Willow whimpered when Spike caught her lips, glad to see that he had stopped thinking the thoughts that had clouded his eyes and halted his movements, glad to see that he was looking at her with that look in his eyes, the look that made her believe she was the most important thing in the world. She returned his kiss with every bit of passion she could find, her body arching up against him as he entered her deeply. This was different from their other times together. They'd explored each other, tasted and touched, kissed and cuddled. There was still need, but they were enjoying each other in a way that they hadn't yet. She loved the taste of herself mixed with his taste, sucking on his tongue as she tightened herself around him. She heard him growl, felt him moving faster, took delight in being able to cause such a reaction in him. She liked being the reason he would lose control. She met each of his thrusts, knowing he would not last long. They'd both found release several times during their hours of playing and taking things slowly and tenderly, but she recognized the signs of his impending release. She felt his mouth move from hers and smiled a satisfied smile as his eyes looked into hers. She whispered, "I love you," for what could have been the hundredth time since they'd entered the bedroom, watching as his eyes flashed with pleasure at her words. Too soon, she was biting into his neck as she came, her orgasm causing her to tighten even more around his cock. His teeth entered her neck as his seed spilled inside her.

Spike felt her feeding from him, his cock hardening again as her tongue moved over his flesh. He came instantly, confusion entering his blue eyes for just a moment as he realized what had happened. Willow was only the second person with whom he'd had that kind of reaction, cumming from being fed on. His mind flashed to his past as he moved his tongue over her neck. That had been one of Angelus' games, fucking then feeding then fucking some more. The bastard had loved training Spike to harden from the feel of his teeth in his neck, had enjoyed laughing at the sight of the younger vampire on his knees with cum dripping from his ass, his cock dripping with his seed and hard again just from feeding his sire. How many nights had Spike been forced to wank for Angelus' pleasure after the bastard had fed from him? Memories of his seed spilling into a dirty alley, of Angelus' silky voice praising him for being a good boy, of his sire's hand stroking himself until his seed had spilled onto Spike's face, of Angelus' fingers forcing him to lick the seed off. Sometimes, he'd be forced to take Angelus in his mouth, other times it would be in his ass again. There were rare times that Angelus would just let him get up and get dressed, but usually the elder vampire would fuck him at least two to three times, forcing him to submit and breaking whatever spirit or defiance might have existed.

By the end, when Angelus received his soul, Spike had been very well trained, hating what would happen, loving what would happen, needing it to happen because it meant that Angelus wanted him, had craved him in the same way that he had craved his sire. He'd hated his reaction to Angelus, resented it, but he'd accepted it, had needed it in a way. Oh, yes, by that time, he'd been a good boy, but it had never been enough. Nothing was enough for Angelus. The bastard would never admit to wanting anyone or needing anyone, would lash out even more because of reactions he couldn't control, or didn't want to control. It was always the same during those sessions. Hunting, feeding, fucking, feeding his sire, more fucking, then would follow the worst part of it. As soon as Angelus was dressed again, it would be back to the cruelty and disgust at how pathetic Spike was, about what a disappointment he was. That silky voice lazily listing all of his faults, all of the weaknesses of humanity he had seemed to retain, all of the ways that he wasn't good enough. And Angelus would never let him clean himself off, seeming to enjoy forcing the younger vampire to get dressed again covered in blood and cum, liked knowing that he'd had his strong grandchilde on his knees begging for his cock. Just part of a game that Angelus was unable to stop playing. And, when they'd leave the alley or wherever Angelus had decided to fuck him, Angelus would become his sire again, his voice changing to that of a teacher, instructing Spike on the ways of vampires.

Spike brought himself back to reality, not wanting to get lost in the past when he had such a wonderful future and present to concentrate on. He felt his childe release her hold on his neck, purring softly as she licked at the wound she had created. She pulled her head back and looked at him, that special smile on her face as she looked into his eyes, her hand touching his face before she sleepily closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. He slid out of her, moving to her side as his arms brought her closer to him. He watched her sleep, his blue eyes moving over the lines of her face as she rested. Willow brought out things in him he'd thought forgotten. His reaction to her scared him at the same time it pleased him. It almost felt like it was happening too fast at the same time it felt like it wasn't happening fast enough. It felt right, being with her. For the first time in decades, his life felt complete. He didn't have an ache for something he couldn't understand, he didn't feel restless or unhappy. He couldn't explain it, couldn't find words to describe what was happening between them. He just knew that something had changed, something had happened, and it was right. Call it fate or destiny or whatever fancy word you wanted, he just knew he'd experienced it. Call it the sappy romantic poet that lingered a bit inside, but he could think of no other explanation. She was meant for him, had been meant to be his, just as he was meant for her, just as he was hers.

********************

"How about a comedy?" Dawn asked Anya as she flipped through the channels.

"I don't like comedy much," Anya admitted, hating that the action movie was over. It had turned out to be enjoyable, the lead was rather cute and there had been lots of scenes with explosions and death. "They're either very stupid or romantic."

"True," Dawn nodded, knowing that she wasn't a fan of stupid comedies herself, but, she did love romantic comedies, always liking the happy endings and sweet stories.

"If I wanted romance, I'd go watch our vampires making googly eyes at each other some more," Anya muttered, pleased that Spike and Willow had found some sort of connection that seemed to transcend the typical sire/childe relationship at the same time she was jealous of them for having someone to love.

"I think they're past the googly eyes by now and up to the NC17 parts by now," Dawn said with a slight smile. "Actually, it's been awhile since they went in there, so they're probably to the sleeping after the NC17 parts part."

"Parts part?" Anya repeated with a slight smile. She rolled her eyes as she grabbed the remote and hit the mute button. She listened intently before nodding and turning the volume back on, "It's quiet. Willow's probably sleeping. After all, she's still weak and needs her rest. It will be a few more days before she'd to full strength. She's doing much better than I imagined though. I have to remind myself that she's a vampire now, you know? I mean, she's different in some ways, but she's so much like the Willow I knew before that it was difficult to remember that she was undead."

"I understand completely," Dawn agreed, smiling at the idea that someone else was feeling the same way that she had felt. "It's like our Willow with a few small changes. It doesn't seem like she's a vampire at times then something will happen to remind me that she's been turned."

"I've never been around anyone after they were turned, so it's interesting to see how it all happens," Anya said thoughtfully, "I've always assumed the demon took over as soon as a vampire awoke and made them like those idiots we fought in the graveyards. I figured the few that we knew that were more intelligent were trained to control the demon. I guess I was right in some ways, but Willow was able to control her demon without training. It makes me wonder if the others just don't bother to try to control it. I guess it is easier to give in to the demon rather than fight it, but it changes what I've always thought."

"Well, I think it helped that Willow woke up with Spike there, her sire holding her and helping her. Those fledges that Buffy fights wake up alone in a grave and probably don't have any idea what's happening much less how to fight it even if they wanted to," Dawn said after giving it some thought.

"I guess that's the large difference between a minion and a true childe," Anya replied, "the presence of a sire and a determination to control the demon as well as other things that can't be understood."

"I'm glad that I'm able to understand some of it," Dawn said, "because it makes it less scary to think about what happened. I'm glad that Willow wasn't like that other version that came here from the other universe, and I'm glad that Spike is her sire and that he seems to really care about her. I'm also glad that Willow is adjusting so well and remembers me and doesn't hate me for everything that happened."

"You made the right choice, Brat," Anya said seriously. She got Dawn's attention, seeing the uncertainty in the girl's eyes and continuing, "No matter what anyone else might say, it was the right choice. It was the only choice. You were put into a situation that would have made most people hysterical. You did good, kid, and I don't plan on repeating that so I hope you were listening."

"I was listening," Dawn smiled slowly, glad to hear Anya's words. Despite everything that had happened, she had still had some doubts in the back of her head that she had made the wrong choice. She couldn't imagine life without Willow, though, and knew in her heart and her head that she'd done the right thing. Spike was happier than she could ever remember seeing him, Anya was being nice to her even if the demon would deny it if confronted, and Willow didn't seem at all unhappy to be a vampire. Dawn knew that she'd have to deal with Buffy and Xander soon enough, but she had already moved past the worst part of that experience. She wasn't worried at all about facing them, knowing there was nothing that they could do to change things now. Besides, she had hopes that they'd both realize that everything that had happened was for the best. She couldn't see how they could argue that it would have been better to let Willow die. With time, maybe they'd realize that it had all worked out well in the end.

"Good," Anya said gruffly, finding another action movie and smiling, "Look. A big fire and half naked men."

"Look at the fire. Pretty," Dawn said with a giggle.

"It's not an action movie," Anya grumbled as dramatic music began to play. "Why do they give us half naked men and explosions and then ruin it by playing sappy music?"

"Look at the half naked men and forget the music," Dawn advised, trying to figure out what Anya had found to watch. "Why are they dancing around the fire?"

"They're trying to block out the sappy music?" Anya suggested. "The sounds of their dancing feet are louder than the violins."

"Oh, my!" Dawn's eyes widened slightly as she watched one of the men losing his pants as he continued dancing. She saw his butt naked for a second before her view was covered. "Anya!"

"Why must unattractive actors be the ones to show us their shortcomings?" Anya muttered as her hand swiftly moved to cover Dawn's eyes. "You can't see the nasty man's penis, Brat. While it may resemble a small, limp hot dog, you are too young to be watching it flop around."

"Anya, move your hand," Dawn whined, rather liking that Anya was trying to protect her from the image at the same time she was annoyed that the demon thought she was a child, "I'm nearly sixteen! Besides, I won't look. He's ugly and I wouldn't want to see him naked anyway. Fine, turn the channel then!"

"That's a good idea," Anya decided as she pushed a button on the remote. She removed her hand as soon as she changed the channel, smiling as she declared, "This is better."

"Cartoons?" Dawn said, rolling her eyes before she smiled, "Oh, it's Johnny Bravo. I love Johnny Bravo!"

"I'm hungry," Anya decided as she stood up, "do you want some food?"

"Sure," Dawn asked, "do you need some help?"

"I'm fine. You watch your cartoons," Anya smiled slightly as she went into the kitchen, leaving the teenager laughing at something the cartoon character was saying.

********************

"Where are you going, luv?"

Willow turned and found blue eyes watching her, a lazy smile on his handsome face as he waited for her answer. She'd woken up only a few minutes before, having found him sleeping beside her. She'd not wanted to disturb his sleep so she'd quietly gotten out of bed. It would appear that he'd not been sleeping after all. She gestured towards the bathroom, telling him, "I was going to take a shower, Spike. I thought you were asleep and didn't want to wake you."

"I was," Spike said as he sat up and moved to lean back against the bed. His eyes moved over her nude form, his cock reacting just from looking at his beautiful childe. He ran a hand through his hair as he muttered, "I woke up when I felt you leave our bed."

"Anya's bed," Willow reminded, not able to keep the smile of pleasure from crossing her face when she heard his words. She moved back towards the bed, her eyes on his as she sat on the side of the bed. She reached over and took his hand, bringing it to her mouth as she whispered, "I love you," before she kissed his fingers.

"Red," Spike groaned as he felt her tongue move over his palm. He didn't want her to stop, his mind flashing to visions of her tongue on his hardening cock, knowing that it wouldn't stop until he was buried inside her once again. One look, one touch....that's all it took to have him hard and ready for her. She was getting stronger, the hours of rest being exactly what she needed. It wouldn't be much longer before she would be at full strength. He was so very proud of her, knowing that she had exceeded his expectations. He looked up, into her eyes, and he saw the lust and love that was becoming familiar. He also saw a mischievous gleam that went perfectly with the wicked smile that was crossing her gorgeous face. She wanted to play.

"I love how you taste, Spike," she said as her eyes continued to look into his. She moaned as she sucked on his finger, wetness beginning to leak from between her legs. She watched his eyes flash yellow as he sniffed the air, knowing that he could smell her arousal as clearly as she smelled his. She moved his hand down her chin past her neck until she reached her breast. She cupped her breast with his hand, whispering, "I love how you touch me, Spike," before she licked her lips and moved his hand lower, wondering how long he would be able to remain still, enjoying the power she had been given by him allowing her to play. She rested his hand flat against her stomach as she leaned over and ran her tongue along his own stomach. She felt his body tense when her tongue first touched him, making her way past the hair that led down to his cock. He was hard, the tip leaking, her eyes flashing yellow as she took him in her mouth. She cried out when his hand moved from beneath hers, his fingers entering her tightness as he moved her to lay on top of him. She straddled his face as she continued to suck him, whimpering when she felt his tongue on her, his fingers moving to cup her ass as he feasted on her, causing her to suck him even harder, her tongue memorizing every inch of his cock. Her hands weren't still as they moved behind him, finding his firm ass and squeezing as she bobbed her head up and down. She moved one finger between his ass cheeks, feeling his hands squeeze her ass tightly as she pushed her finger into him. She listened to him moan, felt him thrust back against her hand, a smile crossing her face as she began to move it inside him, thrusting in time with her sucking.

Spike felt her add another finger to his ass, her mouth continuing to tease and torment as she gave him her full concentration. He buried his face between her legs, her juices coating his skin as he tasted her, trying to make her as needy as he felt at the moment. He was rewarded with her moan as he sucked on her clit, his black fingernails digging into her ass cheeks as he held her still. His head fell back on the pillow as he arched up, not able to control himself when she added a third finger. It felt unbelievable, her mouth on his cock, her fingers buried in his ass. He began to thrust into her mouth, ignoring everything for the moment except finding his release. He could feel himself brushing the back of her throat, her nose on his balls, knew she had taken his entire length as he groaned, his hands moving over her back as he closed his eyes, giving himself over to the feel and smell and taste of her. Too soon, he was coming, a growl coming from his lips as he sent his seed into her throat. She sucked him dry, her tongue licking every bit of his flesh as he gasped for breath he no longer needed. He felt her move, lifting his head in protest when she moved before he could give her release.

"Shh, love," she said with a smile as she saw him about to speak. She moved her hand between her thighs, her eyes catching his as she licked her lips, enjoying the taste of his release in her mouth. She ran her finger along her wet cunt, bringing the dripping digit to her mouth. She sucked it inside, her eyes still on his. She watched his eyes as she removed her finger, telling him, "I love the taste of us."

"Us," he repeated, knowing full well that he was past her teasing and games. He needed to be inside her, now. His beautiful, sexy, seductive childe. He moved to reach for her, glaring at her as she moved off the bed, her eyes bright with amusement and arousal as she giggled. "Red, stop playing. I want you."

"I want you, too," she said with a smile, her hand moving to cup her breast as she backed away from the bed, "but I'm all dirty and need to wash...." she gave him a smile as she added, "it would be nice to have someone to wash my back, sire."

A slow smile crossed his face as he realized what she meant, "I suppose I could wash your back, childe. You see, some naughty little girl has been shagging me silly for the last day and I haven't had time to shower either, pet."

"You smell so good, Spike," she said with a possessive smile as she watched him stand, her eyes moving over his frame, taking pleasure in the marks she had made on his body. He smelled of her, her claim on him undeniable. He was hers.

"As do you, luv," he replied, liking the look in her eyes, enjoying the scent of their combined smells. He caught her chin as he pushed her hand away from her breast, kissing her deeply before pulling back and smiling as he said, "I'll wash your back, my pretty pet, and then I'm going to fuck you against the wall until you're begging for release."

Willow smiled at his words, a fresh wave of arousal hitting her as she said, "I want you now, Spike," before kissing him roughly. With a playful smile, she took hold of his hard cock and led him into the bathroom, turning the water on and facing him, not wanting to wait any longer before feeling him inside her. She moaned as he entered her, her legs going around his waist as she felt the wall of the shower behind her, the water falling down upon them as he moved inside her. Her mouth caught his in a passionate kiss as she moved against him. Playing was over, the shower could wait. Right now, she just wanted to fuck.

********************

"What are we doing tonight, Brain?" Dawn asked Anya in an imitation of the cartoon mouse they were currently watching.

"Tonight, Pinky, we do what we do every night," Anya responded with a slight laugh, "we try to take over the world!"

"This show is so cute!" Dawn laughed as another episode of Pinky and the Brain began, singing along to the theme song as she moved her head up and down when it got to repetition of brain, brain, brain that she adored.

"Brain is my kinda mouse," Anya agreed, having spent the last two hours watching the marathon of the cartoon with Dawn. She'd never seen it until tonight and found herself enjoying it a lot.

"I told you that you'd like it," Dawn reminded with a smile.

"Shut up, Brat," Anya said with a roll of her eyes. She straightened as she heard the sound of a shower, her eyes moving to the closed bedroom door, "It sounds like our vampires are finally awake."

"It's about time," Dawn said, "I was beginning to think they were going to stay in bed all day and night."

"They're in the shower," Anya said, making a face, "and I can imagine what they're doing in there. Good grief. Just my luck to open my home to two sex addicted vampires. This must be my punishment for always wanting sex when I was human."

"The shower?" Dawn grew thoughtful, trying to figure out how that would be possible, "Is there enough room for that in there? Wait, they're standing up, aren't they? I saw that on TV before, but it looked kind of uncomfortable. I guess that Spike doesn't care cause he's got all that vampire strength and all so lifting Willow is probably nothing at all, plus I bet his mind is not on how tired his arms are getting but on more naughty things."

"Can we please not discuss how Spike is currently fucking Willow in my shower?" Anya whined, before turning to look at Dawn and smiling as she said, "It isn't very comfortable but it is fun. And you don't need vampire strength to perform the position, but I'm sure it helps. Xander always got tired and usually dropped me as soon as it was over, but it's exciting and slightly rough so it doesn't take long to get off."

"Okay, can we please not have details of Xander and you doing stuff like that?" Dawn asked, shuddering as the vision of Spike in all his naked yumminess having kinky sex with Willow was replaced by a chubby Xander dropping a bitching Anya.

Anya smiled sweetly, "Why? You are the teen that seems to be obsessed with talking about sex, after all. I'm merely treating you as the adult that you claim to be."

"Ha ha," Dawn glared at the demon, "you made your point. I'm not that adult yet, I guess. Images of naked Xander are not something that I want stuck in my head."

"I can agree completely," Anya said, any feelings she had once had for the human she had almost married having faded over the last few months until they were dim memories that brought a smile of regret usually mixed with annoyance. She didn't hate him, but she no longer loved him either.

"Much prefer images of naked Spike and Willow," Dawn said, pushing away images of Xander and replacing them once again with kinky sex having vampires.

"Yes, naked Spike is definitely a wonderful image," Anya agreed with a smile.

"See? We do have things in common," Dawn pointed out with a smile. "We both like Pinky and the Brain, we both love Willow, we both think Spike is a hottie, we both think Buffy's a selfish bitch, and we both don't want to think about Xander being naked."

"We are not bonding, Brat," Anya said with a shake of her head. "Get rid of whatever ideas are inside your silly little teenage mind. I'm tolerating you because...well, because...."

"See?" Dawn beamed as the demon was unable to come up with an adequate excuse for being nice to her, "we are becoming friends!"

"No, we're not," Anya denied. "I'm a demon, an evil horrible demon that has spent over a thousand years tormenting men and acting out wishes of vengeance. There is no way that some talkative, whiny, sex obsessed, silly little teenage girl is ever going to be considered my friend. It's not going to happen, Brat. Nope, no way. I'm tolerating you now because you saved Willow. That's it."

"Sure, Anya," Dawn just smiled, having never imagined becoming friends with Anya. She'd never liked the woman even when she had been human, but she could realize now that she'd never really gotten to know her. She'd had memories of having a crush on Xander and that meant she didn't like Anya because she'd been jealous. After spending the last day with the demon, though, she liked to think they were becoming friends. Anya could deny it all she wanted, but Dawn knew they were growing closer.

"You're annoying," Anya said, knowing that the girl was crazy. Okay, so maybe she found it not so horrible to be around Dawn as she would have believed. The teen wasn't as whiny or irritating as she had always thought, showing a maturity that was surprising, but she was talkative and curious and annoying. Anya might respect the girl, but they weren't friends.

"Yeah, that's what Willow always says," Dawn laughed, "she says that I'm an annoying pest that asks too many questions and that I need to eat less sugar. She also says that I'm smart and loyal and funny and that she's glad I'm her friend."

"Hmph," was Anya's response.

Before Dawn could respond, the bedroom door opened. Spike entered the room, nodding at them, "Morning."

"More like evening," Dawn said with a smile. He was definitely a hottie. Wearing only those same jeans barely buttoned, his hair obviously wet, water dripping down his chest...what had she been talking about? Oh yeah, she remembered. Moving her eyes off of his body to look at his face, she asked, "How's Willow doing?"

"Red's getting stronger," Spike shrugged, "the rest is doing her good. She'll be out in a second, actually. She's finishing getting dressed and then you can ask her yourself."

As soon as Spike finished talking, Willow entered the room. Her hair was wet and she was wearing Spike's shirt, but she looked refreshed. She moved to his side, brushing her lips over his cheek before looking at Dawn and smiling, "Hey, Dawny. What have you been doing?"

"Watching cartoons," Dawn said, still finding it a bit odd that Willow was so like her old self.

"She introduced me to Pinky and the Brain," Anya said with a slight smile.

"Oh, I love Brain!" Willow said with a smile at the demon, "And Pinky always reminded me of Xander for some reason."

"That's believable," Anya responded with a wink at the redhead vampire. "Are you hungry? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine, but thanks," Willow said as Spike sat down in the chair. She moved to sit on the arm, resting her cheek against his wet hair. He'd followed through on his words, fucking her in the shower until she'd been nearly hoarse from begging. She'd realized that playing with him was fun, and that he liked to win. She liked to win, too, but it was more fun when they both won, as they did tonight.

"Spike?" Anya asked.

"I'm good, thanks," he responded, his right arm moving around Willow's waist as he held her.

Dawn smiled as she watched them. They seemed happy, both smiling slightly as they watched the cartoon, their contact casual but meaningful. She'd always known they belonged together, but it was so satisfying to see proof that she was right. Spike looked so more relaxed than she had ever seen him, his eyes were sparkling and he was smiling. As for Willow, she looked beautiful and happy. They were good for each other. Seeing them together made Dawn believe that there was such a thing as fate. She settled back to watch cartoons with her friends, laughing as they talked about the cute mice with plans of world domination.

It was after nine o'clock when Spike tensed, his blue eyes moving to look at the front door. He sniffed the air, yellow flashing in his eyes as he recognized the scent. He felt Willow's hand on his shoulder, looked up into her beautiful green eyes and said, "Go to the bedroom, now."

"What's wrong, Spike?" she asked, confusion evident on her face. She sniffed the air, placing a new scent that was getting closer. "What is it?"

"Do not question me, childe," he snarled as he grabbed her arm tightly. He stood and kissed her swiftly and thoroughly. Pulling back, he caught her confused eyes, saying softly, "go now, luv, and don't come out until I say. Okay?"

She nodded, obeying her sire without question this time as she went into the bedroom, wondering why she had been sent away and why Spike had been angry and worried. Spike waited until the door was closed before he turned to look at Anya and Dawn, making a face as he said, "Get ready, girls. The moron is here."

********************

Xander stood outside Anya's front door, wondering if he had made the right choice. It had been, he glanced at his watch mentally doing the arithmetic, nearly eleven hours since Dawn's visit to the hospital. Eleven hours that he'd sat beside Buffy's bed, watching as one of his best friends laid staring at the ceiling, asking him if Willow was really gone, if she'd really lost her best friend, if Dawn had said what she thought she'd said. To say he'd been shocked by Dawn's announcement would be an understatement. He couldn't remember exactly what all had been said, having been worried about Buffy at the first and then caught up in thoughts of Willow being a vampire, visions of senior year flashing in his mind. It had taken Buffy less time to comprehend it all, the drugs delaying her processing abilities a bit but she'd seemed to understand everything when the door had closed behind Dawn. It was only after Dawn had left, when he'd sat down and the full realization of everything she had said had hit him, that he'd realized that he'd lost Willow.

He'd gone to the window and seen Dawn getting into Anya's car, feeling a bit relieved that she, at least, wasn't alone. When he'd turned back to face Buffy, he'd seen the tears on the slayer's face, the haunted look in her hazel eyes, and he'd known that nothing would ever be the same. Willow was dead. Well, undead as it would seem. Tara was gone, killed by the bastard that had killed Willow and nearly killed Buffy. He'd taken Buffy's hand, neither one saying a word as tears had fallen. He'd spent the majority of those eleven hours thinking about everything that Dawn had said, about his own actions, about what had happened. Dawn had been forced into making a decision that he, himself, would never have dared made, and he didn't know how he felt about it.

Willow was a vampire. Not only was she a vampire, but she was Spike's childe. Spike. Xander hated Spike nearly as much as he hated Angel, and he knew the feeling was reciprocated. He wanted to know why Spike turned Willow. He didn't believe for one minute that it had been out of the goodness of the bleached blond bastard's heart. There had to be something in it for Spike to have done it, Xander just didn't know what. He didn't trust Spike as far as he could throw him, which wasn't very far. He'd waited until Buffy was asleep before he'd left the hospital. He wanted some answers, and he'd known where to go to find them. Anya's new apartment.

Now, he was standing at her door wondering if this was a good idea after all. He didn't know what he was going to say, had no idea why he was there. No, that wasn't true. He needed to see Willow. He needed to see for himself that his best friend of fifteen years was dead. He wanted to look into her eyes and see if Dawn was right, to see if a soul really didn't make a difference. He needed reassurance that she wasn't evil and psychotic, that Dawn wasn't in danger, that none of them were in danger. He wanted to see if she was still Willow or if she was some monster that he no longer recognized. He wanted to figure out if he was glad that Dawn had saved her or not.

He wasn't really looking forward to seeing Dawn, knowing that everything she had said was right at the same time he knew that he wouldn't ever admit the truth in her words. As for Anya, well, that opened old wounds that had yet to heal. He'd loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone except for Willow and Buffy, knew he was partially to blame for her becoming a demon again, felt guilty every time he saw her at the same time he felt relief that he hadn't gone through with the marriage. And then there was Spike. There was no way around seeing the vampire, no way to avoid looking into his smirking face and knowing that he'd saved Willow from a death in which she would not have awakened.

Xander gathered his courage, knowing it was pointless to prolong the inevitable. He raised his hand and knocked, hoping that he'd have some sort of plan in mind by the time the door opened. Within a minute, Anya was looking at him, and he was no closer to knowing what he was going to say. He frowned at the look on her face, not liking the fact that she was glaring at him. He kept his tone low as he said, "Hey, Anya."

"What do you want?" Anya asked, not at all pleased to see him standing at her door. She watched his eyes narrow as he stood up straighter.

"I want to see Willow," he said curtly, not liking the look of disgust in her eyes as she looked at him. What gave her the right to judge him?

"Xander, run along back to your slayer and leave us alone," Anya said with a sigh, glancing to the side and seeing Spike glaring at the door, knowing that Xander was better off just leaving. Spike was not in a mood to chat and there was no way in hell that Xander would be allowed to see Willow that night, if ever. She fully remembered Spike's warning to her and Dawn, knew she wasn't about to risk pissing him off because Xander had decided to play concerned friend a day and a half after he'd forgotten Willow in his haste to take care of Buffy.

"I want to see Willow," Xander repeated, wondering who Anya was looking at. He tried to look inside, his eyes widening when he found himself unable to move past the doorway. There was an invisible barrier up that was keeping him from entering the apartment. He looked at Anya, confusion in his brown eyes as he said, "What the fuck?"

********************

"Xander, just go away," Dawn said as she moved to stand behind Anya. She'd been watching Spike, and had figured out that it would be a good idea if Xander was somewhere far, far away.

"Dawn, what's going on?" Xander asked, flinching at the look in the teen's eyes as she stared at him. He could remember a time when she'd looked at him like Willow used to all those years ago, with complete admiration in her eyes. Now, her eyes were cold and annoyed. He squirmed slightly as he said, "I just want to see Willow."

"Go home," Spike said slowly as he moved into view. His voice was low, an underlying threat in his tone as he said, "I do not want you anywhere near my childe."

"What did you do to her?" Xander demanded, not liking the look in Spike's eyes one bit. He knew the bastard couldn't be trusted. "Why can't I see her?"

"You don't deserve to see her," was Spike's answer. He was thankful that he'd been able to turn Willow, knowing that his life would have been empty without his beautiful childe, but he hated this human for causing her pain and for being the reason that she had been laying alone bleeding to death before Dawn had found her.

"I don't deserve?" Xander glared at the vampire, reacting to his words without thinking, "Who are you to tell me what I do and don't deserve? You're nothing, Spike. A vampire that can't even feed himself. You probably only turned her so you wouldn't be alone. Poor wittle Spikey, has to turn a girl to get her to stay with you. I don't deserve to see her? What a laugh. *You* don't deserve to have Willow as a childe!"

"Enough," Spike said, his eyes flashing yellow as he moved towards the human, cringing from the pain in his head as he advanced on the man. He stopped walking as the pain increased, snarling, "Leave now."

"Or what?" Xander taunted with an amused smirk, "You'll threaten me? Oooh, I'm *so* scared of the pathetic vampire. I want to see Willow!"

"You're not going to see her," Dawn said, glaring at Xander for taunting Spike, "if you keep this up, you'll never see her again. Just go away before you go too far!"

"Quit lashing out at Spike because he saved Willow," Anya said softly, her eyes narrowed as she looked at Xander. "I can smell your guilt, Xander. You know that it's partially your fault she died. You know that she might have been saved if you'd gone inside to tell her about Buffy, if you'd done anything other than follow Buffy to the hospital without even calling home. It's not his fault that he was there for her when she needed him anymore than it's his fault that *you* weren't. She's a vampire, he's her sire. Taunting him is not the smart way to get permission to see her. You need to deal with your issues, get your head figured out, and take care of your little slayer before you try to start making judgments about Spike's motivation in saving Willow. You have no idea what happened, what it was like, or what you're talking about so just go home and leave us alone."

"I want to see her," Xander said quietly, his eyes looking at the floor as every one of Anya's arrows hit their mark. He hated that she knew him so well, hated that she was able to know what he was thinking and feeling when he, himself, wasn't too clear.

"No," she said as she watched him open his mouth to protest. Anya moved closer, until her mouth was near his ear, telling him, "Spike can't hurt you, Xander, but *I*can. If you ever try to hurt him, Willow, or Dawn, I'll show you torture that the world hasn't seen in years. I don't want you near them for now, not until you're ready to accept what has happened and you've dealt with it. The same goes for Buffy. She hurt Dawn this afternoon. I saw the bruise. If it happens again, she'll wish she'd died yesterday. I won't bother to ask if we understand each other because I can hear your heart racing. Don't test me on this, boy. You won't win."

"I," Xander's response trailed off when he saw the sincere look in Anya's eyes. He glanced at Dawn and saw the teen watching with curiosity, knew that she hadn't heard Anya's blatant threat. His eyes found Spike, saw the yellow eyes of the vampire staring at him with hatred as the blond seemed ready to hit something. He looked back at Anya, whispering, "I just wanted to see Willow."

"Not tonight," Anya said sharply, letting her demon come out as she said, "Go home, Xander."

"Tell her I stopped by," Xander muttered, wanting Willow to know that he'd tried to see her, backing away from Anya until he finally turned and went down the stairs towards his car. His mind was reeling from everything that had happened, and he decided to go home and get some sleep before going back to the hospital.

"Wow, that was cool," Dawn said, looking at Anya with respect and curiosity. She didn't know what the demon had told Xander, but she knew that it had had an impact on Xander. He'd seemed scared and lost and she'd almost, just almost, felt sorry for him. Then, she reminded herself that he'd not even called and told them about Buffy and she decided that he deserved it.

"He won't be back for a while," Anya decided as she turned towards Spike. She saw the tension in his body, the anger in his eyes, knew that he was barely in control at the moment, knew it wouldn't long until he gave in to his demon's need for action. She understood the demon all too well, glancing at Dawn then looking back at him.

"Take Niblet for some ice cream," Spike said slowly, his eyes flashing yellow as he looked towards the closed bedroom door.

"Isn't it too late for ice cream?" Dawn asked, oblivious to the struggle that Spike was having with his demon.

"Let's go, Brat," Anya said, taking the teen's hand before she could protest. She didn't want Dawn to see or hear what was likely going to happen once Spike let go, knowing that the girl would not understand.

Spike heard the door close, moving towards the bedroom. He could smell her, his beautiful, strong childe. He opened the door, looked into her eyes, saw her watching him with love and acceptance in those brilliant green eyes. He knew that she'd heard it all, heard him being taunted by that moron. She knew that he was helpless, knew that he wasn't able to protect her the way she deserved to be protected. His eyes flashed as he closed the door behind him, the anger at Xander's taunts consuming him as he made his way to the bed. She was one of Xander's best friends, memories of the two of them together flooding his mind. He'd been unable to hurt Xander tonight, helpless as the man had insulted and humiliated him, but he could hurt her, make her pay for her friend's stupidity. His hand moved to caress Willow's face as he remembered a specific image of her and Xander laughing over some silly joke. His eyes hardened as he raised his hand and swung, striking her with enough force to send her back against the mattress. She sat up and looked at him, waiting for his next move, her eyes alert as she watched him. He slowly smiled, enjoying the rush of power as he moved towards her.

********************

Willow had heard everything that had been said in the other room. When she had first heard Xander's voice, she'd been struck with memories of him. Broken crayons, faded crushes, stolen kisses, laughter and pain. She remembered everything clearly, knew that he had been her best friend at one time. Everything had changed once Buffy had come to town. They'd grown up, grown apart. She couldn't remember the last time they'd sat together and had a conversation that didn't revolve around Buffy or Anya or some other aspect of his life. When she'd hurt Dawn, he'd been quick to judge her and declare that she was a danger to those around her. He'd never once tried to understand, never given any sign that he was the same boy that she had once loved. Sitting on the bed, she had listened to his voice and felt nothing. There was no need to see him, no desire to disobey Spike by entering the room to face her old friend.

As she had listened, the indifference had been replaced by anger. She began to understand what must have happened yesterday. She'd known Buffy had been shot, knew that Xander had gone to the hospital with the slayer. She'd not cared enough to think about that time before her rebirth until now. If she understood correctly, he had not even called to tell them about Buffy. She was used to his world being focused on the slayer, having lived with that for years, but she couldn't believe he'd not even thought about her or Dawn in his haste to be Buffy's hero. Could he have saved her? She frowned, not liking the idea of being saved. She loved Spike, would never want to imagine her life without him. Had Xander not reacted the way that he had, her entire life as she now knew it would not be happening. For once, she was thankful for Xander's Buffy obsession and his ability to forget everyone else. If it hadn't been for Xander, she'd never have found Spike.

She listened as the voices rose, her eyes flashing yellow as she got off the bed, walking towards the door. How dare he speak to her sire that way? Her hand touched the doorknob as she fought for control. She could feel her sire's anger, had no doubt that he wanted nothing more than to rip Xander's tongue out for the words that were spilling from it. She felt his pain as the implant reacted, tears forming in her eyes at the intensity as she leaned her head against the door. She wanted to go to her sire, to hold him and make sure he knew that Xander's words meant nothing. She wanted to hit Xander until he was unable to say another word, to hurt him as he had hurt Spike. With a growl, she turned from the door and walked towards the bed. She could not enter the living room, could not go to her sire when he most needed her, could not defend him from Xander's stupidity and inability to understand anything. She began to pace as she listened to Anya speaking, not paying attention to the demon's words, focused completely on the emotions that she was able to feel from her sire.

It wasn't long before she heard the door close, heard Dawn congratulating Anya on whatever it had been she had said. Willow stopped pacing, pushing her demon back as she looked at the door. Spike was still angry. Confusion flashed in her eyes as she listened to him order Anya to take Dawn for ice cream. With sudden clarity, she understood. She could feel his control slipping, his power and anger washing over her despite the distance between them. She sat on the bed, acceptance entering her eyes as she waited for him. She was his childe, his mate, and she would be there for him now when he needed her. She watched as the door opened, looking into his eyes and seeing the flash of insecurity, the flash of doubt, the flash of fear as he looked at her before his eyes hardened and became cold. She loved him, had loved him for so very long. She had memories of watching him, of studying him, of discovering the sides of Spike that he never showed the world. She knew that Xander had hurt him, had made him doubt her love, had reminded him how helpless he was due to that implant. She knew what was coming, a part of her excited at the idea of seeing her sire give in to his demon, just as part of her knew that he would be disgusted at his actions when it was all over. There was no stopping it, though, so she simply sat and waited for him.

He was so handsome, her beautiful sire. She could feel waves of strength and power rolling off of him as he slowly made his way towards her. This was how he should always be, she decided. Confident and strong and sexy and dangerous. Beneath the contempt and anger, she could see the love and devotion in his eyes. This wasn't about her. Her sire loved her, even if he hadn't said the words. He was angry with Xander, he felt as though he had been unable to protect her, he felt as if he didn't deserve her. She knew Spike, knew his insecurities and his weaknesses just as she knew his strengths and desires. He was hers just as she was his. Tonight, she would be there for him. And, when it was over, she would continue to be there for him. She would never leave him. He was her sire, her mate, her Spike. She felt his fingers on her cheek, loving the feel of his skin against hers. She looked into his eyes, watched as he gave in to his anger and his demon. She felt his hand strike her cheek, the force of the slap knocking her against the bed. Her eyes flashed as her demon came forward but she got it under control. Spike needed this, he needed to let go of his anger and realize that she was not going to leave him no matter what he did. She sat up and looked at him, waiting for his next move.

She felt his hand in her hair as he lifted her head, his eyes blazing into hers, seemingly daring her to still love him when he was being so cruel. Another slap, his hand keeping her from falling as she felt blood on her lip. Still, she looked at him, taking whatever he gave. He continued hitting her, taunting her at her lack of struggle, his blue eyes watching her intently as he took out his frustrations and anger. Despite the pain she was feeling, she also felt aroused. Her demon wanted to fight him, to push him to the ground and ride him until he was the one begging. Somehow, she knew that fighting him would not be the right decision to make at this time. He needed to remind her that he was her sire, that he was strong and deserving of her loyalty and devotion. She couldn't conceal her arousal, knowing that he smelled it mixed with their combined scents and the smell of blood. She wanted him, knew that he wanted her. She moaned when she felt his hands on her body, roughly turning her over onto her stomach. She heard his zipper being lowered, crying out his name as he entered her fully, his hand tangling in her hair as he fucked her hard and fast. He had stopped speaking, focusing his attention on fucking her as hard as he could. She met his thrusts, her tongue licking at the blood that coated her lips. She felt him pull out of her, her eyes widening when she felt the tip of his cock against her ass. She'd never had anyone there, a slight rush of fear and desire going through her as he forced his hardness into her tight opening. Her head snapped back as she screamed at the pain, her back arching as he sunk his entire length into her virgin hole.

She felt his teeth pierce her neck as he began to move inside her, his hands grabbing her hips in a rough hold as he thrust into her ass. The pain was soon forgotten as the pleasure began to build. She loved the feeling of her sire feeding from her, enjoyed sharing the intimate act with her lover. Willow was pushing back against him, her hand moving between her legs as she began to rub her clit. She came within moments of touching herself, squeezing him even more. She heard him growl as he pulled out of her ass, covering her back with his seed, his mouth still on her neck as he fed. She fell forward on the bed, her knees unable to hold their combined weight as he laid fully on top of her back, his spent cock resting between her ass cheeks. She was weak and hungry, her face hurt as did her stomach and sides. She wasn't at full strength yet or she figured she wouldn't hurt so badly. As it was, she was starting to feel his attack on her. She'd been brave for him, taking everything he'd given, but now she just felt tired. She hoped he was nearly finished, not sure if she could handle much more.

She felt him pull his mouth away, knew his eyes were on her. She turned her head to look at him, unaware of the broken lip and the large bruises that were starting to form on her face. She looked into his eyes, her love for him still evident in her green eyes. She watched as he backed away from her, a haunted look entering his beautiful blue eyes as he looked at her. She frowned, not understanding what was wrong. She gathered what little strength she still had to sit up, her voice soft as she said, "Sire? Spike?"

Spike flinched when he heard her voice so full of love and worry, for him. What had he done? He couldn't look at her, couldn't see the blood and bruises that he had caused. He was her sire, he was supposed to protect her. He wasn't supposed to beat her and fuck her like she was his pet. She was his childe, his mate, not some animal. He'd promised himself that he would never be like Angelus, that he would be a great sire and that he'd never intentionally hurt his childe. He looked at her, saw the look in her eyes, knew that she still loved him despite everything. Xander had been right. He didn't deserve a childe like Willow. He was a monster. He'd let his demon have control and he'd hurt her. He'd vowed never to hurt her. How could she love him? He felt the wall behind his back, unable to look away from her eyes as he slid down the wall to a sitting position. He was nothing, and she was everything. He couldn't take it back, couldn't change what he had done, couldn't ignore the fact that, less than forty-eight hours after her turning, he'd broken most of his promises. She would hate him and resent him and leave him. He closed his eyes, wanting to block out the image of what he had done to his beautiful childe.

Willow watched him, hating the look of self-disgust that had flashed in his eyes. Why could he not understand that she did not blame him? Why could he not understand that she loved every part of him? She was a demon, too. She understood him, knew that this had not been about them, knew that it had been Xander in his mind that he had been hurting. If she could accept that, why couldn't he accept that she loved him? She got to her feet, walking towards him. He was scared that she would leave him after seeing this part of him, blaming himself for actions that could not be controlled. She kneeled beside him, her arms moving around him as she hugged him tightly, giving him comfort and understanding, feeling him move to hold her tightly, clinging to her as he buried his head against her neck. She moved her hand over his back in a soothing gesture as he finally let it all go. "I love you, Spike," she whispered softly, feeling his arms tighten their hold as he pulled his head back and looked into her eyes. She was surprised to see unshed tears, moving her hand to cup his cheek as she told him again, "I love you."

She saw the moment that he realized that she wasn't leaving him, that she did love him, that she forgave him. His eyes darkened before a tear slid down his cheek and then he was hugging her again, his head resting on her shoulder as she held him. Willow knew that he finally understood that he wasn't going to lose her, that he realized that it wasn't merely words that she thought he wanted to hear. She was his. She wanted him to be happy, to not feel threatened and insecure ever again. She wanted him to feel loved and to know that he would never again be alone, to realize that he did deserve her just as she deserved him. She wanted him to leave the past in the past as she was doing, to focus on the present and to look forward to their future. She wanted him to be complete, to know that he was powerful and strong and feared. She wanted him to say the words that his eyes told her he felt, wanted to hear him whisper them to her as he held her, wanted to feel him inside her as he repeated them over and over again. Tonight, he had stopped running from his doubts and insecurities. Tonight, he had embraced her and accepted her love and devotion without fear of losing her.

She felt him move, his eyes on her face as he lifted her gently from the floor and carried her to the bed. He laid her down carefully, his eyes guilty as he looked at the bruises on her body. She watched him lay next to her, his lips brushing against the large bruise on her right side. He then moved to kiss another bruise, his eyes catching hers each time. He could not say the words, but she knew. He was sorry, he hadn't meant to hurt her, he loved her, he was hers. When every bruise and bite and mark had been kissed, he offered his neck for her to feed. She accepted without hesitation, her hunger causing her to bite down hard. She felt his blood flowing into her mouth, her eyes closing as she drank. When she had had enough, she pulled away from his neck, snuggling against his body as she felt herself begin to heal. His arms went around her as he held her, Willow's eyes closing as she felt herself getting sleepy. Suddenly, her eyes opened. She had an idea. She was too tired to think about it right now, but it was a place to start. Tomorrow, she'd think about it some more. A pleased smile crossed her face before she closed her eyes again, falling to sleep shortly thereafter.

********************

"I told you that it was too late for ice cream," Dawn muttered as they pulled into the parking lot of the closed ice cream parlor.

"Did you want ice cream?" Anya asked, bringing herself out of her thoughts to look at the quiet teen. They'd left her apartment about fifteen minutes before, neither saying anything during the entire drive across town to the closed ice cream store.

"No," Dawn shook her head, "I want to know why we left? What happened? I mean, one minute you're telling Xander off and he's leaving and the next Spike is scary quiet and we're leaving. I missed something, but I don't know what."

"How about coffee?" Anya asked, knowing that the Espresso Pump was open until midnight on weekends. That would give them over an hour to sit and wait before they returned home. She wanted to make sure that Spike had enough time to deal with his issues, slightly afraid for Willow but having faith that her friend would understand what was happening. She didn't want to see Willow hurt, knowing the redhead had been through enough the past day and a half. Spike needed to get over his insecurities and realize what a lucky vampire he was and make Willow happy.

"Anya, what happened?" Dawn asked, moving so that she was facing the demon.

"We'll go get coffee. They have hot chocolate that you like and it will make you feel better," Anya decided, moving the car back onto the street as she drove towards the coffee shop. She knew she was going to have to answer Dawn's question, but she had no idea what exactly to say. She could explain about turning, about souls, about demons, but she didn't know how to put what was happening with Spike and Willow into words that would make any sense. She honestly didn't know if she even understood what was happening so how was she supposed to explain it all to a fifteen-year old girl?

"Spike was mad about what Xander said, wasn't he?" Dawn said slowly, having been thinking since they'd let the apartment about what had happened, trying to understand. "That's why he wanted us to leave, because he was angry. I saw his eyes turn yellow and his face changed. He doesn't usually vamp out in front of me so I know he must have been pretty upset."

"He was losing control of his demon, Brat," Anya said as she pulled into the parking lot of the Espresso Pump. She turned off the car, deciding it would be better to discuss what was probably happening in the car before they went inside the public place. She turned towards Dawn and tried to explain, "Xander said some things that made Spike angry. While we know that Xander is a moron and that everything he said was stupid, Spike is in a position at the moment where he listened to the words and accepted them as a possibility."

"Because of the implant, right?" Dawn asked, knowing that Spike had seemed to become even more silent when he'd been unable to fight Xander because of the chip. That was when he'd gotten kind of scary, his eyes turning yellow and making her remember that he was a vampire that had a reputation for being ruthless and cunning and evil at the same time he was her friend who was smart and charming and sarcastic and sexy. She trusted Spike, knew that he'd never hurt her, but in those few seconds before he'd looked away from the door, she'd seen what many of his enemies had probably seen and it had scared her.

"The implant makes him feel helpless in so many ways, Brat," Anya said softly, needing to make sure that the girl understood what they might find when they got home. She knew Dawn had a crush on Spike, looked up to him as some sort of hero, and she really didn't like the idea of the girl being hurt when she was reminded that he was a demon and had faults like everyone. "Tonight, he was unable to protect his childe. He is very complex. I don't even begin to understand what he thinks and feels, but I could see flashes of insecurity in his eyes when Xander spoke. A part of him believes what Xander said, thinks that he doesn't deserve Willow because of the implant and his inability to protect her and keep her safe, thinks that he disgusts her and that she'll leave him. While I've known Willow long enough to know that she probably was half in love with him even while alive and that she loves him now in a way that goes beyond the sire and childe bond, he's too hung up on the past and the powerlessness he feels at the moment to accept anything except the rage and anger that his demon is feeling."

"What happened when we left?" Dawn asked, a part of her suspecting the answer, but needing to hear it spoken out loud so she could figure out what she thought about it.

"I don't know," Anya shrugged, running a hand through her hair, "he probably took out his anger at Xander and his own insecurities on Willow. He was letting his demon have control....I don't really know what he is doing."

"Do you think..." Dawn trailed off, finally saying, "do you think he hurt her?"

"Hurt is in the eye of the beholder," Anya said, "Willow is his childe and she loves him. I think the only way he would have truly hurt her would have been if he hadn't come to her tonight. I expect to find her bruised and bloody, Dawn, so prepare for that. He was angry and hurt and I'm sure that he lashed out physically. That's just part of having a demon."

"I hope he's okay when we get home," Dawn whispered, deciding that she'd never be able to understand what was happening. She was still trying to understand how Willow could have a demon and no soul but still be so much like the living Willow. She wasn't ready to try to understand this. Besides, Anya didn't even seem to know what exactly was happening either. She just wanted Spike and Willow to be happy.

"He'll be better, I'm sure," Anya said, "We'll just make sure to stay gone a pretty long time. I don't want to go back too early. I hope he realizes soon that he's not going to lose Willow and that she really does love him. That will help him a lot, I think."

"Yeah. To be so smart, he can be pretty dumb, can't he?" Dawn said with a sigh.

"Yep, he's rather oblivious," Anya agreed.

Dawn nodded, moving her thoughts from what was maybe happening at the apartment to other topics. She looked at Anya and smiled slightly as she asked, "Did you mention hot chocolate? I could use some comfort food at the moment."

"We can even buy a dessert to go with it," Anya decided, glad to see that Dawn seemed to have gotten enough answers to stop asking questions about things she couldn't explain well. She much preferred questions she could answer.

"Yum! More chocolate," Dawn's smile grew larger as she got out of the car and followed her friend into the coffee shop, trying not to dwell on what they would find when they returned home.

********************

Anya had threatened him.

And she'd meant it.

Xander could easily bring to mind the sincere look in his former fiance's eyes as she had whispered her threat, giving him no doubt that she would torture him in ways that he couldn't even imagine if he crossed her. What startled him the most regarding her threat was that it hadn't been the demon, it had been Anya. He would have been able to understand a threat coming from a demon, but, hearing the words of promised torture coming from lips that he'd kissed and that had told him she loved him, well, it was more frightening and real than he'd ever thought possible. It had scared him enough that he'd left her apartment without seeing Willow, the only reason he'd gone there in the first place. He'd left without getting Dawn, something he'd planned on doing after seeing Willow. He hadn't thought it would be a good idea for the teenager to be in an apartment with two vampires and a demon, but that had been before he'd looked into her eyes. She'd changed. He knew it was stupid to think that someone could change overnight so he guessed that the changes had been happening all along and he'd just never seen them until now.

She used to look at him in a way that was reminiscent of Willow so many years ago. Now, she looked at him as if he wasn't important. He thought it would have been easier to accept if she'd even looked at him with hate or disgust, but the way she'd dismissed him so easily, well, it hurt. Xander pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building, deciding that he'd take a shower and change his clothes before heading back to the hospital. Buffy had been asleep when he'd left and he hoped she still was when he returned. He wasn't looking forward to telling her about his visit at Anya's, knowing that he'd really accomplished nothing in the end. He hadn't seen Willow, had realized that Dawn was not the same silly teenager he remembered having a crush on him, had been threatened by the woman he'd almost married and he hadn't even enjoyed taunting Spike. He entered his apartment, noticing the light flashing on his answering machine.

He hit rewind and play, listening as he heard Dawn's voice on the tape. He ran a hand over his face as he heard the soft and tired voice, realizing that she'd known about Buffy during this call, that she'd had to deal with finding Tara dead and Willow dying. He stopped the recording, guilt flashing in his eyes as he went into his bedroom. He grabbed a clean set of clothes and went into the bathroom. He showered quickly, doing his best not to think about anything except getting clean. When he was dressed, he went into the kitchen and grabbed a soda and some chips to take with him. He was hungry, hospital food not something he could call enjoyable. He locked the apartment and went back to his car, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly. When he opened his eyes, he knew what he needed to do. He pulled onto the road, turning left instead of right which would have taken him back to the hospital. He drove down familiar streets until he pulled into the driveway of the Summers' home.

Xander got out of the car, using his key to enter. He figured he'd get Buffy some clean clothes since the ones she had been wearing had been ripped during surgery and were covered in blood from the gunshot. He also had to see everything for himself. He walked upstairs, too easily imagining Dawn's arrival the previous day from school. He walked past Buffy's room, moving to stand in the doorway of Willow's room. He turned on the light, flinching when he saw all the blood. He slowly moved into the room, his dark eyes moving over the puddle of blood that was a couple of feet away from the bed. Tara had died there, he realized. He moved to lean against the wall, needing support as he thought of the blonde witch and realized that she was dead. He'd never been a huge Tara fan honestly, but she'd been nice enough and she loved Willow so that had been good enough in his eyes. Now, she was dead. Killed by a stray bullet that had been meant for Buffy. Xander's eyes moved along the floor to the other blood stain. This one wasn't as dark, but it was larger. He looked away, finding it too easy to think about Willow laying there, slowly dying as he'd gone to the hospital with Buffy.

Unfortunately, his eyes moved to the bed and he was confronted with the sight of bloody sheets, an impression still in the pillow where he figured Willow's head had been laid as she was turned. So much blood. He felt his stomach start to roll as he inhaled the scent of blood and death, finding the room suffocating as he struggled to breathe. He didn't leave, though. He had to do this. He had to see it through Dawn's eyes, to understand why she had done what she had done, and to punish himself for not being there for his best friend when she needed him the most. He'd realized sometime over the last few hours, since hearing Dawn at the hospital, since seeing Anya at the apartment, since hearing that answering machine message, even since hearing Spike....he was partially to blame for what had happened. He'd chosen to go with Buffy, not giving a single thought to telling Willow what had happened, not thinking about anything except the fact that one of his best friends, the woman he'd dreamed about and loved for years, was dying. He might not have pulled the trigger on the gun, but he was just as guilty as that bastard Warren of killing his best friend in the whole world, of killing Willow. The girl that had loved him when they had been teenagers, the girl with the pink bows and cute smile, the girl that had made him feel as if he was the most important person in the world, the girl that had been there for him without hesitation since he was six.

When she'd needed him the most, he'd been pacing the hallway of the hospital waiting to hear that Buffy's surgery had been successful. He'd not even stopped to call and let anyone know what had happened, not thought about anything except Buffy. Because of that, he'd lost one of the most important things in his life. He'd lost Willow. Xander moved away from the wall, walking towards the bloody bed. Dawn said she'd called Spike, had asked the vampire to turn the redhead, had no intention of giving Willow a soul, that Willow was happy and okay with being undead. When Xander had been too busy caring about Buffy, Spike had saved Willow. Oh, Xander knew that being a vampire wasn't the same as being alive, but it wasn't the forever and ever kind of dead that meant that Willow would never wake up. Xander wiped away his tears with the back of his hand as he sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up the photo from the bedside table, a fleeting smile crossing his face as he looked at the picture that also sat on his bedside table. Him, Willow, and Buffy taken a few months after they'd all become friends. They'd been happy, smiling and laughing for the camera. If Dawn hadn't done what she'd done, if Spike hadn't been willing to turn Willow, no one would have ever heard Willow laugh again, they'd have not seen her beautiful smile. Because of Spike, the redhead was not dead. She was happy, according to Dawn. She was laughing and smiling and just happened to be a vampire. Xander had lost her from his life, but the world hadn't lost her. He finally understood, finally accepted what had happened, knew what Dawn had been trying to make them understand earlier that afternoon. Willow might be dead, but she wasn't gone. His grip tightened on the picture before he picked up the phone and dialed a number he'd only called a couple of times. He was rather relieved to hear the answering machine pick up. He knew he wouldn't have been able to talk to Willow, had no desire to talk to any of the others, wasn't sure if he deserved to talk to Willow. When he heard the beep, he began to talk as fast as possible, needing to say everything that he was thinking, not caring if it made any sense, not caring who heard his message, just hoping that Willow heard it.

"Hey, Willow, it's Xan. They wouldn't let me see you, but I hope they'll let you hear this. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I should have gone inside but I wasn't thinking and now you're dead. I promised I'd never let anything happen to you and I wasn't there when you needed me. I'm glad that Spike was there for you even though nothing is ever going to be the same again....I guess it really hasn't been the same in years....Dawn said you're happy and that you are doing well.... I'm so glad that Spike turned you....I can't imagine a world without my Wills. If you ever need anything, I'm always here for you. I don't care if you're a vampire or if you don't have a soul, I love you. Forever and always, just like we promised when we were kids....."

Xander heard the beep and realized that the machine had cut off. He put the phone down, hoping that Willow knew that he did love her. Tears were flowing down his cheeks and he was completely unaware that he'd been crying as he'd spoken, and that his voice had faltered several times during the few minutes he'd confessed his guilty feelings and affection for his best friend to an answering machine. He dropped the phone and moved to lay on the edge of the bed that was not coated with blood. He pulled the pillow towards him, resting his head in the spot where Willow's head had been during her death and rebirth. He hugged the picture against his chest as he closed his eyes, tears still falling down his cheeks as a soft smile crossed his face as he laid on her bed and got lost in memories of Willow.

********************

She was hungry.

Not only was she hungry, but she was sore. Her body hurt in places she'd never realized existed until Spike had found them with his rough grip. The closest memory she had to compare to the pain she was feeling was when she'd been knocked out in the library her junior year and ended up in the hospital. Her body had felt about like it did now. Being a vampire definitely had its benefits, though, because most of the marks on her body had already healed. She was still coated in blood and there were some bruises that would probably not fade for a few days, but everything had healed itself after she'd fed from Spike. And, as she had just learned, being healed didn't mean that there wasn't pain. It was a dull pain, just a reminder that her body had been put through a rough beating.

Spike was sleeping, his head resting against her breast, his arm around her waist possessively. He was snuggled against her, finally finding sleep after accepting that she wasn't planning on leaving him, that she understood his actions, that she loved him. She had seen love mirrored in his pretty blue eyes, knew he loved her as she loved him even if he had not said the words. She didn't need to hear the words, the look in his eyes enough for her. He was hers as she was his. She had never been loved with such pure emotion, with such passion, with such need and desire. Her memories of Oz were comfortable, familiar, sweet. Her memories of Tara were soft, friendly, safe. Her feelings for Spike were a combination of those plus so much more. He made her feel, one look from him exciting her, the sound of his voice arousing her, the touch of him making her feel safe and protected and desired.

She smiled softly as she moved her fingers to trace over his cheek, feeling him tighten his grip around her waist as he moved closer to her in sleep. She had decided what she wanted to do for him when she'd been kneeling in the corner holding him as he had cried silently, knowing instinctively what caused her sire the most pain. The implant had to be removed. She wasn't at all worried about the consequences of her decision. Removing the implant would allow her sire to be himself again, to not have insecurities regarding her love, to protect her and his from any threat, demon or human. She hated the implant that cursed her sire just as a soul cursed her great grandsire. She knew that performing such a task would probably change many things, but she was not overly concerned with those changes.

The biggest concern would be Xander and Buffy. While she did not presently care about her former friends, she had memories of loving Xander and Buffy at one time, of being very best friends with the pair, and she had no real desire to see them dead. If they hurt her family, she would kill them without hesitation, but she did not feel a thirst to see them killed. Spike, on the other hand, would probably love nothing more than to torture and kill the humans that had enjoyed his dependence on them, not to mention Buffy's using him for sex and laughing at his declarations of affection. Willow's eyes narrowed slightly as she thought of the slayer, an anger moving through her as she thought of the way the girl had treated those she called friend for years, of the way she had treated Spike, of the bruises on Dawn's arm just that afternoon. Yellow flashed as she realized that she would too easily be able to kill the slayer.

A part of Willow wanted nothing more than to see the blonde pay for her selfish acts of the past, to torture her and kill her for what she had done. Another part of her could remember the many times that Buffy had saved her, the late night patrols, the sleepovers, the laughter and the friendship that had meant so much to the shy hacker. If she were confronted by the slayer, Willow honestly didn't know which side would win that internal debate, and she had no particular interest in finding out. She had the same debate concerning Xander. She wanted to kill him for hurting her sire that evening, but she also had years of memories of the goofy boy that she had once loved so very much. It would be best to avoid both of them, to not force herself into making a decision of life or death for her former friends.

She wanted to talk to Spike about her intentions, let him know that she was going to remove the implant, but she also did not want to tell him until she had a spell that would work, until she knew without a doubt that she would be successful with her plan. He was her sire, her lover, her mate. She would not lie to him, but she also did not want him to be disappointed if she was not able to find a way to remove the metal from his head. She was pretty certain that she had read of something during research at the magic shop that could be used to remove the implant, having a vague memory of a spell that would require a lot of power but might work. She knew it was in a book somewhere, wishing she had paid more attention when originally seeing it. She decided that she would give more thought to her plan before sharing it. She would locate the correct book, find the spell, read it and make sure that it would work. Then, she would discuss her idea with Spike, once she was certain that it was possible. She would not disappoint him with false hope.

"Luv?" Spike looked up at Willow, having woken up to find himself snuggled against his beautiful childe, her hand gently touching his face as she appeared lost in thought.

"You should be sleeping," Willow scolded her sire softly, her green eyes moving to look at him when she heard his voice, her plans for removing implant forgotten for the moment as she looked into his eyes.

"So should you, pet," he said, his eyes flashing with guilt as he saw the blood that was still covering her pretty face. He'd been exceptionally rough with her, not caring that she was only a day old, not caring about anything except letting out his anger. She'd not protested once, giving herself to him completely. And then, when he'd realized what he'd done, when he'd seen that he was no better than Angelus had been to him, she'd put her arms around him and she'd told him she loved him. It had been that he'd realized that she wasn't going to leave him, that she was his, that he loved her. He could tell that she had not slept since they'd moved to the bed, her eyes alert and thoughtful.

"Not tired," she smiled slightly before she turned serious, "Spike, I need to tell you something."

"What is it, luv?" he asked, curious what had caused her to become so serious.

"I love you," she said simply, moving her fingers over his forehead as she watched him smile at her words, enjoying the look of pleasure that crossed his face at her words.

"I don't deserve you, Willow," he said softly, putting his fingers against her lips to prevent her from protesting as he continued, "I'm sorry."

"Shh," she gave him a soft smile, "I don't need apologies, sire. And you do deserve me so you'd better deal with it! I'm yours for eternity, Spike."

"Eternity, huh?" he felt himself smiling as he moved past his guilt, deciding the best thing way to apologize was to make sure that he never repeated the same mistake.

"Forever and ever," she whispered as she looked into his blue eyes.

"Forever and ever," he repeated before he moved swiftly, capturing her lips in a gentle, exploring kiss, careful not to touch her sore body for fear of causing her more pain that night. When he pulled back, he smiled softly as he laid his head beside hers, pulling her against him as he whispered back, "I think I can deal with that, luv."

********************

Anya and Dawn arrived at the apartment a little over two hours after leaving. Anya was relieved to find the place silent, having deliberately stayed out as long as possible rather than risk coming home right in the middle of whatever had been happening between Spike and Willow. They'd spent their time having coffee and cake and then had gone to the store to check on things. She knew that she really needed to go to work the following day, having only missed one day but needing to make an appearance and see that things were running smoothly. She was going to take Dawn with her, let the girl have some projects to keep her busy and hopefully quiet. It would give Willow and Spike some time alone following the entire ordeal tonight, which she figured would be good for the vampires.

"It's quiet," Dawn said, relief evident in her voice. She'd been scared about what they might find when they got home, knowing it would be far easier to accept what had happened without having to hear it. Anya had prepared her, though, and Dawn was resigned to the idea that Willow was going to be bruised when she saw her again. She couldn't understand exactly what was happening, having an idea but not able to fully understand. It was just something else that had come up in the last day that she didn't quite get, and she figured that it wouldn't be the last.

"We gave them enough time," Anya decided as she took off her coat. "They're probably sleeping by now."

"Oh, look. We have a message," Dawn saw the blinking red light and moved to rewind the recorder. She turned up the volume but kept it low enough not to disturb the other room. She hit play and was startled to hear Xander's voice.

"I can't believe he called," Anya said, moving closer to hear what Xander was saying. She sighed when it finished, glancing at Dawn.

"He realized he screwed up," Dawn said with a slight sniffle. She still wasn't happy with Xander, but she couldn't deny the emotion she'd heard in his voice or the fact that he was crying.

"A bit late for that," Anya said, frowning as she replaced the recorder tape. She would let Spike decide if Willow should hear the message, not wanting to risk erasing it by accident. She really was glad that Xander had acknowledged his part in what had happened, knowing that it had taken him a lot to thank Spike for turning Willow. The risk of threat from him seemed to be no longer existent, which was a relief.

"Yeah," Dawn agreed with Anya, knowing that Xander had made his choice and that no amount of apologies could change what had happened. "He does love Willow, though, so it means we shouldn't have to worry about him trying anything stupid."

"I was just thinking that," Anya looked at Dawn with a smile. "He should be able to keep Buffy on a leash, too, which helps."

"What happens next?" Dawn asked as she sat down, asking a question that had been nagging at her mind for most of the day.

"What do you mean?" Anya asked as she sat down opposite the teen in her comfy chair.

"I don't know," Dawn shrugged, "I mean, we've decided that Willow is perfect just like she is, no soul needed. We've been worried about protecting her from Buffy and Xander but it appears that Xander has accepted what has happened and there's a real good chance that he'll be able to talk to Buffy and make her realize that it was what had to be done. It's just been a little over a day and so much has changed but I can't help feeling that there's more to come, you know?"

"I understand," Anya admitted. "I really don't know what the future holds, Brat. Right now, we know that Willow is adjusting well, and that Xander is not going to do something that is even more stupid than his normal actions. I'd say that's good enough for now."

"You're right," Dawn decided as she covered a yawn.

"And tomorrow, we know that we're going to work," Anya reminded, "and that's as far into the future as I care to delve at the moment."

"Me too," Dawn agreed, "Everything has happened so fast that I'm still sort of in shock...I guess I've finally been able to stop worrying about it all and have finally had time to realize that so much has changed in such a short time."

"You're tired," Anya said, watching as the teen yawned again. She understood about how quickly everything had changed, still finding it a bit surprising that Willow was a vampire and that Spike was her sire. Not only that, but she'd extended her protection to Dawn which meant she liked the annoying brat more than she wanted to admit. That probably bothered her more than anything else at the moment, making her wonder when her annoyance had turned into grudging respect and affection. "Why don't you go ahead and make up the bed? We've got a long day of work tomorrow."

"Sure," Dawn began to pull out the sofa bed, glad that Anya had asked her if she wanted to go to work the next day. It would be nice to be busy for a while. Besides, she usually had fun helping out at the shop, though she hadn't worked there since Giles had moved to England. Anya had never been one of her favorite people and she'd done her best to avoid being around the woman unless it was necessary. Now, she wondered why she'd been so stupid. She'd gotten to know the demon pretty well over the last day and she had to say that Anya was really neat. She was smart and funny and treated her like an adult. She had gone from Dawn's list of least favorite to being right underneath Willow and Spike on the list of favorites. Yet another change over the last day that she was still trying to adjust to. Not only had Tara died, Willow been turned into a vampire, she slapped Buffy, but Anya had become one of her most favorite people in the world. She finished making the bed, crawling into it as she covered another yawn, not bothering to put on her pajamas as she sleepily told Anya, "Good-night."

Anya smiled at the sleepy teenager, figuring it wouldn't be ten minutes before she fast asleep. She turned off the light and laid down, getting comfortable before she said, "Sweet dreams, Brat."

********************

It was the early morning hours of the day when Willow woke up. She was laying in Spike's arms, his head resting beside hers on the pillow, his left arm around her waist holding her close to him. She snuggled closer to her sire as she started to wake up. The soreness in her body had faded throughout the night, the pain nearly gone. She had fed from her sire one last time before falling asleep, his powerful blood helping her heal even more quickly. She was hungry but didn't wish to disturb him, knowing that he needed to sleep. Instead, she lay contentedly in his arms, enjoying the feel of his body against hers.

She cocked her head when she heard a noise coming from the other room, listening intently before she decided that Anya was awake. Dawn was still sleeping if the steady breathing and constant heartbeat was any indication. Willow's expression grew thoughtful as she felt the hunger nagging at her. She finally decided to try something, curious if it would work but not sure if it would. She'd only been successful a few previous times, and it had always been with Spike, but she'd never really given it much of a try. She took an unnecessary breath and let it out slowly as she concentrated on contacting Anya.

"Anya."

Anya was sitting at the table flipping through one of the books she'd brought home from the store when she heard Willow call her name. She looked up and frowned when she saw the closed door, knowing that she'd not been imagining things.

"Anya?"

It took her a minute to realize that Willow was inside her head. Once she made that realization, she relaxed, responding to the redhead mentally, "Yes, Willow?"

"Oh, good. It worked."

Anya felt herself smiling at the relief she could hear in the voice in her head, forgetting for a moment that Willow was now a powerful vampire, remembering instead the insecure witch that was always convinced her spells would go wrong. She'd have figured that Willow would have realized her natural gift by now and been completely confident in her abilities, but it appeared that, even in death, Willow wasn't sure her magic would work. She leaned back in the chair, wondering why Willow was talking to her this way when she was just in the next room, answering the redhead as she thought, "It worked, Willow. Why are you awake? It's pretty early and you must be sore after last night."

"Actually, I feel pretty good," Willow thought to Anya, smiling as she was able to have a conversation with her friend without leaving Spike's embrace and without having to get dressed. Why hadn't she attempted this for personal use before now instead of just using it to communicate with Spike when they'd been patrolling? She was aware that Anya seemed to know what must have happened last night, hoping that Dawn wasn't, not wanting the human to be upset. She continued talking to Anya as she felt Spike stir beside her, his arm tightening as his lips brushed against her neck before he drifted back into a peaceful sleep, "A bit bruised but nothing that won't go away. I've spent the last two days sleeping, it seems, and don't really feel tired. Spike is sleeping and I don't wish to disturb him by getting out of bed so I thought I'd try this telepathy thing with you when I heard you moving."

"It appears that you're good at the telepathy thing," Anya replied back, "do you need anything?"

"I'm actually kind of hungry," Willow confessed, "and I was hoping you wouldn't mind bringing me something to eat. There are still some bags of blood left, aren't there?"

"There are several," Anya said as she got to her feet and quietly began preparing a bag for Willow. She didn't want to wake Dawn up anymore than Willow wanted to wake Spike so she decided to use the stove to heat the blood instead of the microwave. "I'm heating one for you right now. By the way, Dawn and I are going to need to use my bathroom in a couple of hours. It's been a couple of days since I've showered and we had to go to the bathroom before we came home last night because we didn't want to disturb you two."

"I'm so sorry," Willow apologized, "I forgot that you only had the one bathroom. You can shower whenever you want."

"Dawn and I are going to the store today to work for a few hours and to give you and Spike some privacy so we'll probably shower before we leave. Is that going to be a good time for Spike?" Anya asked as she watched the blood heat up, not wanting to intrude on Spike's rearing of his childe no matter how normal and advanced Willow appeared to be.

"It's a fine time, Anya. This is your apartment, after all. I'm so grateful that you've allowed us to stay here with you," Willow said as she waited for her snack. "I honestly don't know what we'd have done without you."

"I love you," Anya said simply as she poured the blood into a mug. "I'd do anything for you guys, you know that. Letting you have my bedroom for a few days is not a problem at all. The blood is finished heating. Can I bring it to you?"

********************

"Please do," Willow said as she moved to sit up slightly, doing her best not to wake Spike up. She heard the door open and watched as Anya entered the room, the demon's eyes moving swiftly over her and Spike's nude bodies before meeting her eyes.

"The bruises aren't that bad. They'll soon fade," Anya thought to Willow as she handed her the mug of heated blood. She wasn't at all surprised that Spike had already cleaned the blood from his childe, the wounds having already had time to start healing as they slept. "Do you need anything else?"

Willow's eyes flashed yellow as she drank, her hunger causing her drink quickly. When she was finished, she licked her lips and handed the mug back to Anya. She thought about Anya's question, deciding that she didn't want to try researching for a way to remove Spike's implant until she could really concentrate, which would require her sire to be clothed and not holding her so close. She smiled at the demon and said, "I'm fine now. Thanks for the blood. How is Dawn doing?"

"She's adjusting remarkably well, actually," Anya said as she moved to sit down, a bit surprised that Willow seemed ready to have a chat when she was laying naked in her sire's arms with his own nude body pressed against her. Of course, Willow really hadn't had much time or energy over the last couple of days to talk about anything so she could understand the redhead's desire to have some questions answered. "Asks a lot of questions but she's handling everything with a maturity I honestly didn't think she possessed."

"Dawny is special," Willow said with a fond smile as she thought of the human teenager that she remembered so well. "Buffy treats her like a child so she has a tendency to act like one to get her sister's attention. She's very smart, though, and wise beyond her years."

"She loves you and Spike a lot," Anya thought to Willow, finding it rather nice to be having a conversation with someone that wasn't asking tons of questions she didn't have answers for.

"And we love her," Willow responded, "I'm glad she had you there for her during all of this. I trust you completely and know that you helped her deal with all of this. She's overly curious and has probably been hounding you with questions, but I'm glad that she had someone that would be honest with her."

"She's not that bad, for a bratty teenager," Anya smiled slightly, letting the redhead know she was teasing.

"She's going to help you at the store today, huh? I bet she's excited at that idea," Willow said, glad to see that Anya seemed to like Dawn. They were the only two people besides her sire that she loved and it was nice that they were both getting along rather well.

"I am planning on giving her many activities that require her to be busy so she can't stand around and pester me with more questions," Anya told Willow.

"She'll still find a way," Willow warned with a smile. She felt movement beside her and glanced at Spike, watching as he moved closer to her, his arm pulling her against him even more. She looked back at Anya and said, "I think Spike is starting to wake up. Do you want to take your shower now?"

"Actually, I think I'll wait a while longer," she decided, not really in the mood yet to get dressed for work. She stood and moved towards the door, smiling at Willow as she said, "If you need anything else, just let me know. It was really nice talking to you, Willow."

"Yeah, it was nice, wasn't it?" Willow smiled at her friend before Anya left the room and shut the door. She turned her attention to Spike, her green eyes moving over his handsome face as he continued to sleep, a smile crossing her lips as she leaned over and brushed her lips gently against his before she snuggled against him to wait for him to wake up.

********************

Anya was sitting at the table reading a book on the history of witchcraft when she heard movement coming from the living room. She glanced up from a passage that was recounting the Salem Witch Trials, her eyes flashing with anger that she couldn't control from reading about that particular part of history. Her eyes softened when she noticed that Dawn was waking up. It had been a little over an hour since she had seen Willow, since they had had their talk. She felt better about a lot of things now. It wasn't that she had ever really been that worried about Willow being turned or about the relationship that was forming between Spike and Willow, but a part of her must have been a bit concerned because she was much more relaxed after their talk.

Willow seemed to be adjusting well. Very well, in fact. The redhead wasn't acting like most new vampires, though Anya was by no means an expert on vampires and their behavior. She did know that Willow was different. There wasn't the usual stupidity or fear, the denial or uncontrollable blood lust. When she had looked into those familiar green eyes, she had seen acceptance and knowledge and power. Willow was strong. Not only was she a newly created childe by one of the stronger of her kind, but she was a witch. She was a powerful witch that had only just begun to realize her true potential. Anya had to admit that she was rather glad that Willow seemed to have retained a bit of her humanity. If she hadn't, if the redhead had been blood crazed and not had such a devoted sire, well, Anya didn't really want to consider what havoc might have occurred. As it was, those considerations were not an issue. Willow was completely in control. She had no desire to cause destruction and mayhem for the humans around her.

Anya closed her book after marking her place, knowing that she would get no further reading accomplished with the brat waking up. She'd enjoyed the peace and quiet of the early morning, enjoyed talking to Willow and seeing for herself that things were going well and everything was falling into place as it should. Dawn wasn't nearly as awful as she had once thought, but the teen was too curious and didn't seem to know how to stop talking. Anya realized that this was a strange time for the girl, knew that the teen was having a difficult time understanding everything that was happening, so she was trying to be as patient as helpful as possible. Hopefully, when Dawn finally had all her questions answered, she'd be quiet once in a while. Anya almost laughed at that idea, not knowing many teenagers that were quiet. Maybe when she was twenty she'd learn about the joy of silence.

"Morning," Dawn mumbled as she stretched, getting out of bed and covering a yawn as she approached the table where Anya was sitting.

"Good morning," Anya replied, covering her own yawn as she said, "stop that. No more yawning."

"Yes, Mom," Dawn answered back with a smirk as she sat down. "Do you have any cereal? I've got a growly tummy this morning."

"I have fruit loops in the cabinet," Anya said, "and there is milk in the fridge."

"I think I'll have a bowl when I finish waking up," Dawn decided. She glanced at the closed door to the bedroom and asked softly, "Have you heard anything from our vamps?"

"I spoke to Willow a couple of hours ago," Anya said, watching as Dawn looked at her with surprise. "Not speaking speak, but mental speak."

"Huh?"

"She used telepathy to talk to me. She didn't want to disturb Spike so we spoke mentally," Anya explained. "I gave her some blood for a snack and got to check on her. She's good."

"He didn't hurt her, then?" Dawn said, relief flashing in her eyes.

"He didn't hurt her, Dawn, but she is covered in bruises and bites," Anya said slowly, having seen the look on the teen's face, feeling guilty for having to destroy her relief.

"I don't understand," Dawn said honestly. "You said he didn't hurt her but she's bruised which means he must have hit her. How did that not hurt her?"

"I can't even pretend to understand it enough to explain it," Anya said with a shrug, "we discussed it last night. You said you could understand it a bit. They're vampires. The beating meant nothing to her. It didn't hurt her except physically and she's already starting to heal. Different things hurt different people, Dawn. A human purely beating another human for no reason is bad, and it should not be tolerated. Never let anyone hit you and just accept it. Promise me that. Vampires and demons are different than humans, though. We see things in a different way. He beat her out of anger and annoyance. She is his childe and she accepted his anger. I don't know. I'm not very good at this explaining thing. I'm not a teacher and I don't even understand all of it. Pain is different for us, it means different things than it means to you humans."

"I know that vampires and demons are different," Dawn said, "but I don't understand how it didn't hurt her. She loves him. I can't imagine letting someone you love beat you for any reason at all, especially just because he was mad at someone else. It really makes me angry, if I'm honest. I can't believe Spike would do that to someone he loves."

"You're thinking like a human," Anya said, "I really don't think we're ever going to understand what happened last night. I'm a demon and I know why it happened and I know what Willow is feeling and even what Spike is feeling, but it's hard to fully understand it unless it is you experiencing it. Just know that Willow wanted to share that with Spike, she wanted him to share his anger and his annoyance because she loves him. If he had not been honest with her, if he hadn't shared the bad along with the good, she'd have been hurt. I don't expect you to understand, Dawn, but do not blame Spike for being true to his demon. Spike does love Willow and I *know* that he regretted lashing out when he realized what he was doing and I'm sure he feels guilty for not having more control. He doesn't need you glaring at him or being angry with him when he's already angry with himself."

"But, see, you say he feels guilty and is angry at himself. If he was just being true to his demon and there is nothing wrong with him lashing out at Willow, why is he angry at himself?" Dawn asked.

"Spike loves Willow. He would feel guilty and angry for hurting the one person he loves even if it was his nature and he just let the demon have control," Anya said, her patience starting to fade. She did not want to discuss this topic anymore, knowing that a human could never understand. She did not tolerate abuse, human or demon. She'd had many wishes made by women that had suffered at the hands of a monster that hit out of frustration and other various reasons. She could understand why a human would feel anger at the idea of such things happening, taking special delight in torturing those men that used their fists, but vampires and demons were different. It was not the same. Okay, Spike had lashed out in frustration and annoyance, letting Willow bear the brunt of his anger, but Willow was not a helpless victim. She was a vampire. It was her nature, also. She and Spike were the same. Because she loved Spike, she welcomed his anger and had probably been aroused at the power that her sire gave off. Anya wasn't even about to get started on explaining about finding such things arousing, as a majority of vampires and demons did.

"You're right. I don't understand, not really," Dawn sighed, running a hand through her hair. "If Willow is okay and she doesn't seem to mind what happened last night, I don't really have the right to say anything about it. I guess I can't blame Spike for being a vampire and for doing what it was natural for him to do."

"So there won't be any glaring or making him feel even worse than he probably already does?" Anya asked.

"It might take me some time before I deal with what he did, because, to me, he hurt Willow because he was mad at Xander and I just don't like that and I don't see how he could do that to someone he loves, but I won't be rude to him. I love Spike," Dawn admitted, "and I don't want to make him feel bad for something he couldn't really help."

"You know what, brat, you're more mature than I ever would have guessed," Anya declared as she smiled slightly, watching as Dawn smiled at her praise. She got up and said, "I think I could use some food. I'll get you a bowl of fruit loops, kid."

********************

"I think I was even more hungry than I thought," Dawn stated after she finished the last of her cereal. She looked at Anya and smiled sheepishly, "I think I'm going to have another bowl."

"There's half a box left," Anya said, having eaten a rather large bowl of cereal herself. The stress of the last couple of days had left her without much of an appetite but it seemed that, since things were calming down, she was getting it back.

"I need food anyway, since we're going to be working today," Dawn justified her second bowl of cereal as she poured half a bowl of colored circles into the remainder of her milk. "You know, it's going to be a bit weird to be at work."

"Would that be because you're a spoiled brat that isn't used to working?" Anya asked sweetly, her eyes amused as Dawn stuck her tongue out at her.

"I work," Dawn defended, "I help Willow with dinner and groceries and cleaning. Buffy is the one that doesn't do that much. She's so lazy! She uses the excuse that she spends eight hours working and making money and that that is enough work for anyone. She won't even do laundry! She'll cook sometimes, but usually only when someone is helping her."

"Okay, okay...stop with the chatty Cathy routine," Anya said with a roll of her eyes. "So you work, you just don't get money for doing so. That's weird, to me. What's weird to you then?"

"Well, what I just said," Dawn tried to explain, "none of that is going to be happening ever again. Willow and I won't make dinner as Buffy complains about her day. Going to work with you, well, I don't know. It makes me realize what all has happened the last few days and it just seems weird to be going to work as if everything is normal when everything is different."

"I actually do understand that," Anya admitted. "For two days we've been dealing with what happened. But, things are settling down a bit. Spike is learning how to be a sire and acknowledging his feelings for Willow. Willow is adjust extremely well and is very much in love with her sire. I don't foresee Xander and Buffy being a problem. Life moves on. I feel that we have both adjusted, too. I can now tolerate you. Getting back to work will be good for me. I can make more money and perhaps buy a larger home to accommodate our vamps. I do love them both dearly, but I am growing discontent with sleeping on the sofa."

"You're not so bad yourself, and I'm glad I've gotten to know you better," Dawn said with a smile, knowing that Anya admitting she could now tolerate her was the closest thing that she'd get to the demon saying that she really did like her. She had to admit that she had learned a lot from Anya in a short time. She'd never really liked the woman, but now could count her among her three best friends in the world. She felt safe with Anya, protected and cared for, despite Anya calling her a brat and feigning annoyance. She was not happy that Willow died, the experience of finding Tara and Willow laying in pools of blood haunting her whenever she closed her eyes and not likely to go completely away ever, but she had to selfishly acknowledge that she was happier now than she could remember being. Willow was happy and loved, Spike was happy and loved, Anya was becoming a close friend and teaching her so many different things. She didn't think she'd change anything that happened since she'd gotten off the school bus two days before. Knowing that, realizing just how true that statement was, well, it made her feel a bit guilty. Tara was dead and Willow was technically dead and she could sit here at the table and honestly say she wouldn't change it. What kind of person did that make her? Was she horrible and evil for thinking such things?

"What's on your mind, brat?" Anya asked, her eyes watching Dawn's face as she saw confusion and guilt flashing in the teen's eyes.

"It's nothing," Dawn shook her head and smiled, deciding that she didn't care what other people might say if they knew what she was thinking. She was happy. Her friends were happy. That's all that mattered. "I was just thinking back over everything that has happened since I got out of school the other day. I can't believe it's only been two days. It seems like so much longer."

"Stressful situations tend to feel even longer than normal," Anya said, thinking over what Dawn had said and what she had seen in the girl's eyes. Putting two and two together, she asked, "Do you regret calling Spike that afternoon? You don't, do you? That's why you felt guilty. You like how everything is turning out and you think that makes you a bad person because it meant Willow's death. Am I right?"

"How do you do that?" Dawn asked softly, shrugging finally as she admitted, "Yeah, I was sort of thinking something like that. Does it make me a bad person?"

"I'm a demon, kid," Anya reminded, "wrong person to ask. Personally, I don't think it does because there was nothing you could have done. Willow was going to die. It didn't matter if it was from bleeding to death or because Spike turned her. Either way, she was not going to be alive anymore. You made the best choice. You had no idea that Spike was going to adapt so well to being a sire. You didn't know that there were feelings between Willow and Spike that they had both ignored or never realized until their relationship changed into that of a sire and childe. You had no way of knowing anything that was going to happen beyond keeping Willow with us in the only way possible. I don't consider that selfish or bad because I would have done the exact same thing. But, no, I don't think you're a bad person, Dawn. And neither do Spike and Willow."

"I think that I kind of like you tolerating me, Anya," Dawn said quietly, a smile on her face as she blinked away tears, feeling much better after hearing that Anya would have done the same thing and having someone else confirm that she had made the right choice. She'd been thinking about it a lot since it had happened, feeling guilty for being happy when Tara was dead and Willow was a vampire and she was fighting with Xander and Buffy, knowing in part of her mind that she'd made the best decision, the only decision, but also having doubts at the same time. Now, she had finally realized that she had no reason to feel guilty. She could be happy because the people she cared about did not blame her, they didn't think she was bad, and they were the only ones whose opinion mattered to her anymore.

"Yeah, well, whatever," Anya gave a brief smile, glad that her viewpoint seemed to have made Dawn less stressed. It wasn't that she actually liked the girl, she just didn't want to get stressed because Dawn was upset and nervous. That's the only reason she'd been putting up with the teen for the last couple of days. Damn it, she frowned. She wasn't believing that anymore. She made a face as she groaned, "Fuck."

"What is it?" Dawn asked, curious eyes looking at Anya as the woman made a terrible face. "Do you feel sick?"

"This is horrible. I just can't believe it," Anya groaned again, not able to deny it any longer. She glared at Dawn as she spat out, "Why'd you have to go and make me like you, Brat?"

********************

"I'm a friend?" Dawn repeated, a large smile crossing her face.

"God, how did that happen?" Anya asked as she covered her face with her hands. "I don't even like you!"

"We're friends," Dawn said, ignoring Anya's antics, "that is so cool! I like you, too, Anya. If it hadn't been for you the last two days, I don't know what I'd have done. You've helped me deal with Tara's death and Willow's turning and Spike's vampire stuff that I don't even understand and you mean a lot to me."

"Thanks, Brat," Anya said softly, exchanging a serious look with the teen, "if you hadn't done what you did, calling Spike and asking him to turn Willow, well, I'd have lost my only real friend. Now, I've got three for the price of one resouling spell that I didn't even have to do!"

"You know, I realize that nothing is going to ever be the same again and I don't care," Dawn confessed quietly, "I don't know. It's like, things happened that we couldn't predict or control but it's almost like they were meant to happen. Slapping Buffy yesterday? It felt good! It was such a rush finally standing up to her and calling her on how she treated Spike and Willow and everyone around her. She and I are never going to be able to go back to how it was before, not that our relationship was all that great anyway. Tara's gone and I feel a sense of loss for her, but I feel guilty because I've already accepted her death and have moved on to being so happy that Willow and Spike seem to finally be together, even if the circumstances aren't what I'd always imagined. And I lost Xander as a friend, because I may eventually forgive him for being so caught up in Buffy that he didn't check on Willow and Tara and maybe save them, but I won't ever forget that he didn't, even though I'm glad he didn't, and that makes me such a horrible person to admit that! I don't care that Tara died and that Willow had to be turned because I didn't lose Willow and I think she and Spike are finally maybe going to be happy and I became your friend. I'm a horrible awful person for thinking like that, aren't I?"

"Haven't we already had this discussion?" Anya asked, "I don't mind admitting that we're friends now, but I do not plan to sit around talking about the same things over and over. You are not a bad person. Willow is not gone. Spike has a childe to love and adore. Willow and Spike are happy. Xander is a moron. Buffy is a bitch. And we are friends. Simple as that."

"If only it were that simple," Dawn sighed, giving Anya a small smile. "Sorry, it's all just finally hitting me and I'm thinking too much. I guess, well, what happens next?"

"What do you mean?" Anya asked, deciding that she might have been too hasty in declaring Dawn her friend. If the teen kept asking so many silly questions and continued to be guilty, she might change her mind about being friends.

"Willow is a vampire. She and Spike are all coupley and involved and she doesn't have a soul and Buffy isn't going to be happy about any of that," Dawn said, "I don't think Buffy would try to hurt Willow, but I don't know how she's going to react to everything. I don't want Spike or Willow to be hurt because Buffy's having issues. I know we did the spell to protect them and all that, but I still worry about them. And I can't see how I'm going to go back to the house and pretend like my entire world didn't change two days ago. Nothing is the same anymore, and I can't act like it is. What am I supposed to do? What happens to me?"

"I don't know," Anya said honestly. She shrugged, "I don't know what is going to happen me, either. I threatened Xander. He's going to run off and tell his little slayer I'm sure. She's been looking for an excuse to kill me and I'd say helping Spike turn Willow, threatening Xander, and being your friend might be enough to let her justify it."

"I won't let her hurt any of you," Dawn declared, "she'll have to go through me to get to you and Willow and Spike. Right now, we don't really have to worry about Buffy. She was shot and hurt pretty bad so I don't think she'll be ready to start any kind of fight until she'd better. Plus, she's not that smart but she's not that stupid. She honestly wouldn't have a chance of defeating Willow and Spike if she tried to make it a battle. No offense cause you're real strong and all, but she is a better fighter than you so she'd have a chance fighting you."

"None taken, Kid," Anya said, knowing that she wasn't a big fighter, even if she could hold her own when needed. She hoped that Dawn was right, that Buffy didn't turn it all into a fight. She shook her head, "Come on. Let's see if Willow will let us use the restroom so we can go to work and make money."

"Money is always good," Dawn said with a small smile.

Anya paused and said softly, "You do not need to be worried about yourself, Dawn. We will not let anything happen to you because we do care about you so you've got us for what that's worth."

"That is worth a lot, Anya," Dawn said with a grateful smile.

Anya nodded and smiled briefly before she moved to her bedroom door. She opened it very slowly, seeing that Spike was still asleep. She looked at Willow, noticing the redhead staring at her sire with a loving smile on her face, touching his face gently as he slept. Green eyes moved to look at her. She motioned to the bathroom and pantomimed taking a shower and then pointed at her and then Dawn. She looked at Spike and made a gesture to indicate whether or not it was okay for them to take a quick shower.

Willow smiled and nodded, agreeing that Anya and Dawn could come in to use the shower. She covered Spike and herself with a blanket, snuggling closer to her sire as he continued to sleep, turning her attention back to him. Anya came in and got a change of clothes from her closet and drawers before going into the bathroom. Willow heard the shower turn on, hoping that Spike was able to sleep until Anya and Dawn left for work. She wanted them to be alone when he woke up, wanting to show him how much she loved him and to reaffirm that he had not hurt her or lost her after his actions the previous evening. If anything, she loved him even more, sharing his anger and pain with him. She rested her head on his chest, enjoying the feeling of her sire against her body as she closed her eyes, a smile on her face as she thought of how much she loved the man beside her.

********************

End of Part 47