Inell's Fanfiction Archive

The flames of the candles flickered as a soft wind began to blow inside the small room. The figure leaned over the candles, their face concealed by a black hood that fell forward as they spoke. The wind increased as the chant became louder. The figure leaned over the candle and placed the first name into the flame. There was a bright light as the paper began to burn. Soon, all that was left was an Xa. The person continued with the other names until all that was left was ash.

Eight candles burned as eight names were destroyed. The figure smiled, lips twisted in a sneer as the chant ended. The figure leaned over and blew out the first candle. Smoke began to float out the window, headed north. The second candle was blown out. Smoke drifted over the building headed east. Each candle was blown out as smoke drifted to find it's recipient. The figure chuckled as the final words were said and the book was closed. "So mote it be."

Across town, Buffy turned in her sleep, her mouth open slightly. She breathed in the smoke that hovered over her bed. She coughed softly before turning back into her pillow. Across the room, Willow breathed in the smoke as it drifted over her head. She grimaced slightly in her sleep before settling back down.

The same process was repeated in Xander's basement as he and Anya both breathed in the same smoky substance. Giles almost woke up as he found his breathing hindered but soon settled back into his chair. Spike was walking through the street, kicking a can as he walked through a cloud of smoke. He frowned, not noticing anything different as he headed back to his crypt. Around Sunnydale, two other people also slept uninterrupted as the smoke was absorbed into their systems.

*************

Anya yawned as she woke up. She frowned as she again heard the shouting from upstairs. She glanced at Xander, glad to see that he was still sleeping. She stood and went to the bathroom, hoping that his father would pass out soon. She didn't know how Xander dealt with his father. She hated the man and had only met him twice. Both times he had been sober, a rare occurrence from what she could hear. Shaking her head, she knew it wasn't the alcohol. Xander had told her one night about his family. His father had only started drinking heavily the last few months, since he had lost his job. Before that, he had just been a mean bastard who enjoyed beating his wife and son. She wished that she still had her powers. She'd show him a beating.

Xander woke up to the sounds of his mother being yelled out, again. One thing, the old man seemed to get more verbal and less physical the older he got. There had been no bruises since Xander had almost killed him three years before. Remembering the anger he felt at that time, Xander tried to focus on the bed. He slowly calmed himself down, the anger forgotten. He heard the shower going and smiled. Anya was already awake. Good. He'd surprise her with a back rub, he decided. He had fallen in love with the ex-demon over the last six months. He knew she was still struggling with her lack of power and her humanness, but things were finally starting to come together for both of them. He hummed as he snuck into the bathroom, kissing her neck as he joined her in the shower.

**********

Rupert Giles sighed as he shelved another book. He glanced at the title in his hand and tried to decide where to place it. Finally deciding that it was more historical based than magic, he placed it on the third shelf beside the History of England. He heard his front door open and looked up, smiling as Buffy and Willow came inside. "Hello girls."

"Hiya Giles" Buffy said, smiling.

"Giles, do you need some help?" Willow asked, seeing the stack of books laying on the floor.

"No. Just doing some late Spring cleaning" he said, wiping the dust from his hands as he sat down. "What are you girls up to today?"

Buffy shrugged, "Nothing much. No class so we're at loose ends."

"She's glum because Riley is studying" Willow explained with a smile.

"Am not glum" Buffy said pouting. She just hated that she had a free day from class and he was stuck studying. That was her luck though. Spend the evening saving people and the days thinking of something to do. She suddenly had an idea, "Hey...Hey....are there any demons to save someone from? You know, sun loving demons? That is, demons that might be out during the sun?"

"Buffy...sounding desperate" Willow said smiling.

Buffy frowned, "Well, sorry. I was trying!"

"Well, I'm sure there are many ways you two could spend the afternoon. Shopping?"

"No money" Willow said, sighing.

"We're in college, Giles. No jobs due to the slaying thing. What's money?" Buffy asked, smiling.

"Oh, yes. Foolish of me for suggesting that" Giles said, rolling his eyes slightly. Spending the afternoon entertaining two bored college girls was not what he had planned for his day. "Studying?"

Buffy snorted, "Strike two, G man."

"Well, you could visit with Xander and Anya. At his house." Giles said, not wanting to be rude, exactly.

"Uh oh...I think he's trying to get rid of us" Willow said in a loud whisper.

"You think?" Buffy replied. "Guess he's wanting to get back to those books."

"I am right here you know" Giles said flatly. "I just assumed you two would want to spend the afternoon out in the sun instead of cooped up with an old man and his books."

"You're not that old" Willow said. "But, we know you like the peace and quiet during the afternoons so we'll be nice and leave."

"Just remember our good deed next time I want to cut patrol short, ok?" Buffy suggested with a smile.

"Go" Giles said, laughing. He went back to shelving his books, his mood much lighter since the visit.

********

"So, what do we do" Buffy asked, walking beside Willow.

Willow shrugged, "Why is it when you're in class you can always think of things you could be doing, but, when you have a day off, you can't think of anything?"

"Just life I guess" Buffy said, thinking about it. "Irony and all that stuff."

Willow laughed, "Yeah, all that stuff. Hey, want to go watch the ducks at the park? We can think of something on the way over there maybe."

"Oooh...I love the ducks" Buffy said with a smile. "We can be duckwatchers for the next hour or so."

Willow rolled her eyes at her friend's amused tone. Buffy seemed almost lost without Riley by her side. The two had spent so much time together lately, it was rather strange to see one alone now. They were in love so it was always sweet to see them together but quickly got annoying to the rest of the non-in-love members of the gang.

Willow wasn't jealous though. Nope. Not her. She was happy being single. She didn't need a man. She had tried that dating thing with Oz back in high school and look how that had turned out. Him cheating on her with several groupies. She had been glad when he had graduated the summer before her senior year. Nope, she didn't need a man. She had her friends. As long as she had them, she was content.

**********

Spike looked in the shop window and scowled. He took a drag of his cigarette as he looked at the white porcelain faces on the dolls. He had memories of Drusilla and her dozens of damn dolls. He sneered as he thought of Dru, turning away from the store window and continuing on his walk. His dark goddess. The only person he had loved completely, more than he had even loved himself. He would have walked into the sun for her. Now, he could realize how stupid he had been.

She had never loved him. Not the way he had loved her. In her heart, it had always been Angelus. He had just gotten the left over scraps. He growled at a passing man, delighting in the look of fear that crossed the man's face. God, he missed scaring people. Making them quake in fear before he would bite into their flesh and taste their intoxicating, warm blood. He groaned at the thoughts before he remembered what he had been thinking about. That's right. His princess. The damn bitch that had cared so little for him she had left him for any demon around. That's love for you. Makes you blind to common sense. He could see now, out from under her spell, just how pathetic he had been.

Never again. She had cured him of that. He knew that she wasn't what love truly was, but he didn't need it. He had been love's fool for over a eighty years. He wasn't about to play that part again anytime soon. He had learned his lesson. No, he wasn't stupid. It only took one mistake for him to learn from it. He saw the slayer's pup walking on the other side of the street. He resisted the urge to scare the man, scowling instead. He figured that they were headed to the same place. The nightly meeting at the watcher's place. He could barely contain his vast excitement at the idea. He'd personally rather be dragged over hot coals in the middle of a heat wave in the Arizona desert at high noon than watch the slayer and her pup make googy eyes at each other and have to listen to the moron and his bitch talk all lovey dovey. But, Red would be there. That was something, he guessed. He tossed the remainder of his smoke onto the street as he lit another.

Riley's head was killing him. He had been popping aspirin all morning. In fact, Graham and Forrest had both stopped by to ask if he needed them to contact his 'pusher' for more. Damn idiots. They could laugh. They didn't have a paper to write through this blinding pain. But, he was going to see Buffy. That was something, he guessed. He had missed waking up beside her this morning, but he had known the paper needed to be finished. With her there, not much would have been done he knew.

He had sent the patrols out already, searching the cemeteries to the north. That would save him and the others a bit of time. He rather enjoyed being able to send his men to cover some of Buffy's areas. It meant more time that they had together and less places she might find trouble. Of course, she had only a vague idea of what exactly he commanded his men to do and would probably get irritated with him if she knew he was protective of her. He loved her though and had no intention of letting her get hurt on his command.

He noticed a match flare across the street and saw Spike. Hostile 17, he corrected. Who was he joking? The man had saved his ass twice now. He was Spike. Riley kept his attention in front of him, not wanting the vampire to notice him. He wasn't scared of the blonde, but he was. It didn't even make sense to him so he knew no one else would ever understand. Spike was an arrogant, mischief making bastard most of the time, but Riley had seen times that the vampire had risked his own unlife to save one of the gang. He knew the vampire would deny it if ever confronted, but Riley had seen. The man was an enigma. Even with the implant, the changes the vampire demonstrated were amazing. The implant just prevented violence. The rest, the helping and the caring, those were all things that had existed before. In that way, Riley was intrigued by exactly who Spike really was. He'd love to see into his mind sometime.

He noticed Forrest and nodded before continuing on his way. He had allowed Forrest to control the patrol that evening, knowing the man was ready for the responsibility. Besides, it gave him a free night to be with Buffy. It was a fair trade, for once. He saw Giles' apartment building in the distance and quickened his steps. Buffy was waiting for him. He had missed her that day.

**********

Anya walked into Giles apartment, a frown on her face. She rubbed on her arm, hating the pain she felt. She had bumped into a rack at the department store while shopping and bruised her upper arm. It hurt like hell, though it was just a small injury. "I hate this body!"

Willow glanced up, a slight smile on her face. "What is it now?"

Anya scowled, "This! I bruise" she spat out the last word.

Buffy snickered as she exchanged a look with Riley before rolling her eyes and going back to her homework. "Get over it."

"Do you have any idea how utterly horrible it is to go from being immortal to this? I actually change colors....I'm like one of those bath toys or something!" Anya whined, made that none of them felt her pain.

"There there honey" Xander said, his tone slightly annoyed, "It will fade."

Anya hmmphed as she sat down, glaring at the mark on her arm. "Stupid human body" she muttered.

"So, what's the sitch?" Xander asked, looking at everyone.

"Nothing" Giles replied. "Things are actually quiet this evening."

"Quiet? Why is that not a good thing on the Hellmouth?" Buffy asked dryly.

"Enjoy it" Riley said, yawning. His headache from the day before had started to fade finally. "We can spend some time together without patrol."

"I don't know...I've been around long enough to know that quiet around Sunnydale is not of the good" Buffy said simply.

Willow nodded, "I second that one!"

"I suppose you should patrol anyway" Giles said, "But we don't need the entire group."

"I can go. I have no plans, it being Saturday night and all and me being well, single" Willow said, smiling at the two sets of lovebirds.

"Thanks Wills" Buffy said, smiling. "Are you sure?"

"Go...party and have fun and lots of smoochies" Willow said, seeing the sudden grin on Riley's face.

"I'll go with her" Xander volunteered.

"I thought we were going out?" Anya asked, looking at him in surprise.

"We go out every night. Tonight, I want to fucking help. Is that ok with you?" Xander asked, glaring at her.

She looked at him, her expression taken aback. She nodded, blinking as she looked away, "Fine. Play hero. I don't give a fuck!"

Xander watched her leave, his face falling. "Wait! Anya...I'm sorry...I don't...We can go out. Sorry, Will."

Willow shook her head, "Go after her. That was rather harsh."

"I'll go with the chit" Spike said, his voice startling the others. He had been so quiet they had forgotten that he was there. "You two go make those fish eyes somewhere out of my sight, got it?"

Buffy and Riley smiled at each other then looked at Giles. "Patrol is covered. Are we excused?"

"Hmm?" Giles asked, glancing at them. "Oh. Patrol...Yes...uh, that's fine."

Willow frowned at the lost look in the watcher's eyes. "You ok Giles?"

"Of course" he answered smiling. "Just seem to have misplaced my notes."

"Try underneath the phone" Spike suggested. He saw them look at him and shrugged, "What? I lived with the guy for over a month...he always put the damn pad under the phone."

"No need to be so defensive, vamp breath" Buffy said, standing. She reached over to pull Riley to his feet, pulling hard. "Have you gained weight?"

"No" he said, looking at her. "Why?"

"Nothing...must be tired" she said, winking at him. "So, what is on the agenda for tonight?"

Riley shrugged, "Dunno. You decide."

Willow watched them leave before turning to Spike. "Guess that leaves you and me."

"Whatever" he said scowling as he walked past her. "Let's get this done. I have plans tonight."

"Of course you do....everyone does except me" Willow said to herself making a nasty face at his back. She smiled innocently as he turned around and glared at her. "Coming master."

**********

Willow looked at Spike then back at the night sky. He was so quiet. It was almost like patrolling alone. He always spoke more than this. What was his problem? She heard a noise and froze, glancing to her left. "Did you hear that?"

He glanced at her, momentarily struck by how beautiful she looked in the moonlight. He frowned, glaring into the distance. "Hear what?"

She rolled her eyes as the sound got louder. "That!"

"Well, I'm not bleeding deaf, am I?." Spike said, exasperated with her. "I heard it."

"Touchy touchy" Willow said, "I didn't realize vampires got PMS."

Spike frowned trying to place her insult. His eyes widened as he sputtered, "Listen here Missy...I am not hormonally challenged!"

"Really? Could have fooled me!" She said back at him.

"Why you little bitch" he said, forgetting about the sound as he faced her. "If I could, I'd rip your throat open and drink your blood!"

Willow snorted, "IF being the operative word."

Spike felt excitement go through him as he continued to argue with her. He had never noticed how green her eyes would get when she was mad. Why was she mad? Because he had been ignoring? He smiled suddenly, the problem becoming obvious to him. She was tired of being ignored. "I'd bathe in your blood, luv. As soon as this damn implant is removed, your blood is mine."

"Get use to gumming people then, Spike. Cause that implant won't be going anywhere" she retorted, a thrill going through her as they argued. This was rather fun. He was intelligent and able to keep up his end of the conversation easily. Sure beat patrolling in silence. Wait, patrolling. She glanced around suddenly, "Did that thing leave?"

Spike paused in his tirade of threatening everyone she knew, "I don't know...I forgot about it."

"I don't hear it" she said, peering into the darkness.

Spike glanced at her, surprised to find them so close together. He caught his attention on her lips, swaying slightly. Suddenly, he caught himself. He scowled and turned away from her, "Let's keep going. I'm sure it was nothing."

Willow glanced at his back and stuck her tongue out at him. For a minute there she had thought he was going to kiss her. Why did that thought make her blood race? He was Spike. She shouldn't want to kiss him. Sighing, she hurried to catch up to him.

**********

Buffy looked over at Riley and smiled. She stretched, the sheet clinging to her nude body as she rolled closer to him. "You feeling better?"

He nodded, "Yeah...the headache is gone. Guess you're better than aspirin."

"Thanks" she snorted, kissing him softly. "So, you hungry?"

He started to answer before stopping. A confused look crossed his face, "Dunno. Are you?"

"You don't know if you're hungry?" Buffy said, smiling. "I could use some grub. Want hamburgers? We could run down and pick up some to go."

"Whatever you want" Riley said, glancing at the window as he thought.

"Ok...You want me to run and grab them?" Buffy asked, moving to get dressed. She took a deep breath as she paused while pulling her shirt on. She steadied herself, gathering her energy before finishing the task. "Damn...I think I may be getting sick. I feel tired."

"Maybe you should stay in bed." Riley said. "If you want to."

"You want to get the burgers?" Buffy asked, catching her breath.

He shrugged, "Whatever."

"Fine. You can pick them up. I want a combo number 1" Buffy said, sitting in his desk chair.

He nodded, "Do I want a combo number 1, too?"

Buffy laughed, "I thought you usually got a number 3? With extra pickles and onions."

"I do?" Riley said, "Yeah...that's right. I do. I'll be back soon."

Buffy nodded, putting her head in her hands as she leaned on the desk. She was glad there was no school the next day. She was feeling very tired.

**********

"Damn it Anya! I told you to pick up the fucking towels" Xander yelled, his angry gaze on her.

"Well, excuse me!" she said back. "I haven't had time, your highness."

"Fuck this shit. From now on, I don't want you taking a shower if you can't clean up afterwards!"

"You? Talking to me about cleaning up?" Anya said, laughing. "That's rich!"

Xander threw the towel at her as hard as he could. "Stupid bitch."

Anya gasped as the wet towel hit her. She rubbed her arm, glaring at him. "Fuck you. That hurt!"

Xander glared at her, seeing the pink where her arm had been hit. He scowled, moving to sit beside her. He ran his hand over it, looking at her as his eyes softened, "I'm sorry. I was just upset."

"Whatever" Anya said, pulling her arm away. She didn't know what his deal was, but for the last few days he had been yelling more than his father. This was the second time he had hit her with something. Once was ok. She could understand lashing out. Twice was pushing it very hard. If it happened again, she'd toss something right back. "I don't want to hear the excuses again Xander."

"How's your leg?" he asked, feeling guilty for what he had done.

"It's fine. Healing up" she replied. The night before they had gone out to eat. On the way back, she had tripped on the uneven sidewalk, scraping her leg real bad. It had bled but seemed to have begun healing again.

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" he asked, kneeling in front of her. He ran his lips over the scrape, his eyes begging for forgiveness.

Anya sighed, her hand caressing his face. She smiled slightly, nodding, "Sure honey. Make it better."

Xander felt a weight lift off his shoulders at her forgiveness. He moved his mouth up her leg as he began to make it better.

************

Faith kept her eyes focused on Buffy and Willow. They had no idea she was back in town and she planned on keeping it that way. Until she was ready. She had been back from LA for a week. Seven days she had managed to avoid Miss Perfect Slayer and her little gang of misfits. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. She hated doing this....being there....She was going to kill him. That was all there was to it. He'd die a slow, painful death after she finished her business in Sunnydale. The thought made her smile as she slid into the shadows away from Buffy and Willow. They'd know she was back soon enough.

**************

Giles put his head in his hands as she tried to remember where he had put the damn book. He had seen it the other day, when he had been cleaning. That had been five days ago. He glanced at the bookshelf, knowing it had to be there and he was just overlooking it. He scanned the titles, but none were the one he wanted. He finally groaned and turned away. He would give himself a break from looking and try again. Lately, it seemed to take him twice as long to remember where he had been putting things. If he didn't know better, he'd think someone had snuck in and moved things around. But, Spike was no longer living with him and no one else had access to his apartment. He noticed a novel laying on the table. He leaned over, smiling as he read the spine. That's the one he was looking for. No wonder he hadn't seen it. It hadn't been put back in place. He settled down on the couch and began reading from the first, ignoring his bookmark halfway through the novel. **********

Willow looked over at Spike as they continued on patrol. "Thanks for coming with me" she said softly.

He shrugged, "The slayer still sick?"

Willow was surprised to hear what almost sounded like a note of concern in his voice. "We don't know. She's just very tired. I think she may be getting the flu."

He nodded, "You'd better stay away from her then. Can't have you catching it."

"I could still research even if I was sick" Willow pointed out dryly.

"Who the bloody hell is talking about research?" Spike asked, looking at her.

"That's all I'm around for" Willow said softly. "If they need me for something, they call. Otherwise, I'm alone."

"Wow....and I didn't even get the invitation to this pity party" Spike said, rolling his eyes.

Willow frowned as she realized he was right. What was wrong with her? She had never been bothered before by her friend's needing her. In fact, she rather enjoyed being a valuable part of the team. She looked at him and said softly, "I don't know what made me say those things...I love helping them....they're my friends."

Spike snorted, "There are limits pet. Sometimes they seem to push those a bit."

"Only because I let them" she pointed out.

"That's because you're scared of being alone" he said dryly, stating the fact.

"I am not" she defended. "Well, not really...Oh, just shut up."

Spike smiled as she walked past him. He hurried to catch up to her. "Hey, luv. Where's the fire?"

"In your hair if you keep pissing me off. I'll tie your blonde ass outside myself" she threatened, still trying to understand why she was being so pissy earlier.

"Damn...I feel the love" he said, grimacing.

She glanced at him, surprised to see actual hurt in his blue eyes. "I was joking Spike. I don't want to catch you on fire...I mean, who else would patrol with me?"

Spike snorted, "True. Not many are as patient as I."

"Patient? Which lifetime was that in?" she asked smiling.

"Listen here, little girl. I have the patience of a saint."

"Yeah...uh huh...tell me another one, Spike" she said, laughing as they began to talk about his various dealings with patience. She was soon laughing outright as he described episodes from his past.

Spike watched her laugh, feeling proud that he had amused her. He shook off the feeling, trying to scowl but he couldn't do it. She was having fun, something that didn't seem to happen often for the girl. He had made her laugh. That made the rest of the evening bearable, he decided.

*************

"So, Finn. Where do we go?" Graham asked Riley, exchanging a slightly confused look with Forrest.

"I don't know...why are you asking me?" Riley asked, scowling at the men.

"Because" Forrest began, "You are in charge."

"I'm not a five year old" Riley hissed, glaring at the man.

"Quit acting like one then" Graham muttered. "Why don't I lead the B team and sweep the northern quad?"

"I'll take the C team and head south" Forrest said, rolling his eyes. He didn't know what was wrong with Riley, but the man's head had not been in place for the last few days. He and Graham had had to hand out the orders every night it seemed.

"So...where should I go?' Riley asked.

"Head east and sweep around to meet us at the corner quad" Graham said, looking at his friend in concern. He hoped this wasn't a delayed reaction from the stress the commander had been going through lately. He and Forrest started to walk away. He saw Riley still standing there, waiting. "You can take the a team."

"Cool" Riley said, picking up his weapon and moving to find his men.

**********

Willow walked into Giles apartment, smiling at Spike. They had been on patrol, again. Buffy had felt too weak to walk to class, much less patrol. She had been to the doctor, who couldn't find anything wrong with her, diagnosing her as healthy. Willow looked at the couch and frowned in concern as she looked at her friend. "You feeling any better?" Buffy looked up and smiled at Willow. "Yeah...I made it up the stairs all on my own." she said proudly. "Hey Willow. Spike. How was patrol?" Riley asked. "Fine. Dusted a few vamps and left the rest to your men" Willow said, sitting down. "Good. Graham and Forrest can take care of it" Riley said.

**********

Spike sat down beside Willow, looking at the slayer and her pup. Something was wrong with them both. He couldn't pin point exactly what, but it was starting to bother him. He didn't like being around them much before, but now it was even worse. He glanced at Willow, again taken back by his thoughts about the girl. Over the last week, he had found himself liking her. Before, he had tolerated her more than the others, but now, he actually cared. He didn't like that. Not at all.

Willow heard a curse and looked back at Giles. He was puttering around in the kitchen, looking through cabinets for something. She heard the door open and slam, turning to look at Anya as the girl came inside. The ex-demon looked at her, her eyes almost sad before she turned away. Willow was surprised to see what appeared to be a bruise on the woman's face. She looked back at the door as Xander came in, slamming it after him.

"I told you to wait for me" he said, his voice low as he spoke to Anya.

"I wanted to come inside" she said, glaring at him.

"We'll finish this discussion later" he said simply, his face angry before he turned to the others. He smiled at Willow, who had noticed Anya's eyes widen slightly in panic before turning to look at the ground, "Hey Wills. How goes patrol?"

Willow found herself leaning closer to Spike. There was something surrounding Xander that she didn't like. She looked at Anya and noticed the fresh bruise on the girl's leg. It hadn't been there the previous night. She felt her breathing quicken as a thought entered her mind. She looked back at Xander, trying to keep her expression natural, "Fine. Slow."

Spike heard her heart racing and looked at her curiously. His eyes widened when she took his hand in hers, holding it tightly as she spoke to the moron. He frowned as he tried to think what had upset her. He stood, her hand still in his. "We have things to finish. Excuse us, ok?"

Buffy looked up from her conversation with Riley. "Will, you ok?" "Yeah" Willow said, smiling gratefully at Spike. She was suffocating in that room. Something about Xander was scaring her. She was probably crazy, but she wanted to talk to Spike. Strange, but Spike was the only one she thought might have noticed something too. He was always watching and listening. She hoped she was wrong. She really hoped she was wrong. She looked again at Anya, sitting quietly by Xander's side. Goddess...she had to be wrong. "I'll see you guys later."

"Do be careful" Giles called out from the kitchen having finally found his tea.

"See you tomorrow" Buffy said, sitting up with a struggle. "I'm staying with Riley tonight."

"Sure Buffy. See ya" Willow said, almost running from the room, her hand still in Spike's. She waited until they were outside and down the stairs before she began to shake. She felt his arms go around her and leaned into his chest. She just stood there, holding onto him. His arms keeping her sane for the moment.

**********

Faith blinked several times, trying to focus. She gasped as the pain went through her back. She held on to the stake as she whirled around, trying to stake the vampire. She couldn't see him clearly enough to strike a hit home. She felt his hand turn her arm around, frowning as she heard the bone break. She was going to die, she suddenly knew. She stumbled slightly, falling to the ground as dust washed over her. She looked up, seeing a hazy shape with red hair. "Willow?"

Willow felt Spike's arm around her waist as she looked down at Faith. She had thought she was imagining things when she had first spied the girl fighting the vampire. But, now she could see that it was really Faith. "Faith. What are you doing here?"

Faith blinked again, seeing someone behind Willow. "Who's with you?"

"What?" Willow asked, glancing at Spike. "I thought you had met Spike...when you were in Buffy's body!"

"Ah...the blonde" Faith said, grimacing as she stood. She dusted her pants off, feeling the rip in her knee.

"Why are you back?" Willow asked.

"Angel made me" Faith replied, sounding like a sullen child.

"What?" Spike exclaimed, "What's the poof have to do with you?"

Faith grimaced, "I went to LA. He and I sort of bonded, you could say. He's trying to help me out....said I had to come back and face the past before I could ever move on, so here I am."

"Angel is helping you?" Willow repeated softly.

"Yeah...he's not too bad for a brooding all knowing prick" Faith said with a laugh. "Now Cordy and Wussy? I could definitely do without."

"Does Buffy know you're back?" Willow asked.

Faith shook her head, "Fuck no. I've been here a couple of weeks already just trying to figure out how to approach you all....I don't like apologizing or talking much.....but angst boy said I can't come back until all is forgiven. Damn self righteous bastard."

"Isn't he?" Spike agreed, taking a drag from the smoke he had lit as the girls had chatted.

"Well...I hate to ask, but why the hell were you losing? That guy was small" Willow asked.

Faith frowned, "I uh sort of have this problem...."

"What?" Willow asked as the girl looked at her. She noticed the way Faith's eyes narrowed and waited.

"I can hardly see anything. The last week or so....each day is worse. Today, it's all a blur. Fucking hate this!"

"You can't see?" Willow said. "Any you were walking around Sunnydale?!"

"I can take care of myself" Faith said, anger in her tone.

"I could see that" Spike snorted. "If Red hadn't seen you, there'd be another slayer being called right now."

"Fuck off Blondie" Faith replied. "Run along back to the others."

"Fuck this. Leave her here. I want to know what was so bloody frightening back at the watcher's place" Spike said, glaring at the slayer.

"Spike! I can't leave her here." Willow said. "She'll have to come to my parent's house with us. Faith, do you know what's causing the vision problems?"

She shrugged, "No idea. Angel is looking into it for me....see if it's something hellmouthy or slayery. Otherwise, I'm at a loss. So, you're 'rents' house? They gone?"

"For another three months" Willow said. "I need to talk to Spike somewhere private and it seems like the best place."

"Ooohh...Private huh? Good thing I can still hear well....is she a screamer blondie?"

Willow turned red as Spike grinned at her, "I'll be sure to tell you as soon as I find out, Slayer."

"Spike!" Willow hissed, a warm feeling spreading over her at the look of desire in his eyes. She gulped, taking a laughing Faith's arm. "Don't encourage him, Faith. He's bad enough without it."

"Ah, I don't know Red. Sounds pretty wicked to me" Faith said, winking in the general direction of red hair. She didn't want to admit it, but she was lucky Willow had come along when she had. She'd be dead if the girl hadn't saved her. She knew she could take care of herself, but letting Willow help would make the girl feel good so she'd be nice enough to allow it.

Spike moved in behind Willow, his body as close as he could get without being right next to her. He picked up on the racing heartbeat and smiled. He was affecting her, finally. Maybe things would look up soon. He inhaled the scent of her shampoo as they walked to her old house, Faith telling them about her trip to LA and about his sorry excuse for a sire.

**********

"I told you to wait for me!" Xander yelled at Anya.

"And I told you that I didn't want to stand around outside!" Anya yelled back.

"What is your problem?" Xander asked, glaring at her.

She turned from him, walking away. She bumped into his table, exclaiming as she fell to the ground. She hit her head on the corner of the table, pain shooting through her. "Oh god..."

Xander's anger fled as he heard her cry out in pain. He was by her side in a flash, his arm around her shoulders. "Goodness, babe. You've practically killing yourself lately."

She looked at him, her expression dazed, "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get blood on your shirt."

Xander smiled softly, "It's ok. I'm sorry I yelled. Things are just so stressful right now and I'm worried about you...."

Anya grimaced, "I'm a bit clumsy these last few days, aren't I?"

"Slightly" he agreed, scooping her into his arms. He carried to the bed, setting her down. He kissed her forehead before he went to get a dry cloth. He glanced at the pile of blood-covered material and then looked back at Anya. She had been having so many accidents lately. Just last night she had run into the washing machine, resulting in a sizable bruise on her leg. The day before that she had tripped outside, again, and scraped her face on the cement. He moved back to her side, brushing the damp cloth over her newest wound. "It feel ok?"

She nodded, "Just hurts a bit." She let him push her back to lay down as he looked at the latest wound. She couldn't understand what had happened to her. She wondered if Xander's anger was because she was so stupid. Or, if her clumsiness was happening because of his moods. Every night he yelled about the silliest things. He always ended up catching himself and stopping but the loudness of it bothered her. He hadn't thrown anything at her since the towel several days before. Her wounds were all her doing. She did hate this body, she decided. She felt his lips brush over her forehead and closed her eyes, enjoying the quiet.

*************

"Giles...could you help me downstairs?" Buffy asked, standing with difficulty. She hated this weakness. She was slowly going mad, it seemed. The doctor assured her that she was fine and had recommended her seeing a psychiatrist. As if she would fictionalize not being able to walk ten feet without help. She missed patrols. She hadn't been able to patrol for four days. Instead, Willow and Spike had been forced into it. It wasn't their responsibility. It was hers. And Riley wasn't much of a help. For some reason, this last week he had been so accommodating it was sickening. He never made any decisions around her, always giving in to what she wanted. She was sick of it.

"What was that Buffy?" Giles asked.

"Help. Downstairs." She said slowly.

"Sure." Giles answered, moving to her side. He let her put her arm around his shoulders as he helped her down the stairs. "Are you going to call that doctor?"

"You think I'm making this up?" she asked, looking at him with hurt in her eyes.

"Of course not" he answered, "But it might be worth a shot."

"Have you found anything in the journals to indicate that it might be slayer caused? An age limit or something?" she asked, her voice hopeful.

"Journals?" Giles asked, handing her to Riley who had brought the car to the front of the apartment.

"You said you'd check them the other night" Buffy said.

"Oh...I did, didn't I?" Giles said, remembering vaguely. "I'm sorry. I must have forgotten. I'll look into it this evening. I am sorry."

She grimaced, "Not a prob. I'll check with you tomorrow, ok? Why don't you get some sleep. You seem a bit out of it."

"I am a bit tired" he admitted. "I'll look into those books and then hit the bed. You take care of her, Riley."

"Yes sir" Riley answered, watching the man head upstairs. He set Buffy in the car and headed back to his place. "You want to stop for some ice cream?"

She shrugged, sick of always being the one to decide, "Dunno."

He glanced at the approaching building. He knew how much she loved chocolate chip cookie dough and thought it might make her feel better. He took a chance and turned into the parking lot. He was rewarded by a large smile from Buffy and a kiss on the cheek. He had made the right call.

**********

"She's asleep" Willow said, sitting on the couch opposite Spike.

"What scared you?" Spike asked, getting straight to the point.

"Scared? I wasn't scared" Willow protested, frowning.

"I can hear your heartbeat, pet. I know when you're excited...when you're turned on...when you're scared. You were frightened at the watcher's place. Why?"

Willow felt her face flushing as she realized that Spike could tell all those things just by listening to the beat of her heart. She gulped, suddenly finding the carpet interesting, "It was Xander."

"Chubs?" Spike said, making a face. "How the hell did he scare you?"

She looked at him, her eyes suddenly serious. "Have you noticed something about him and Anya lately?"

"I try to avoid thinking about them" Spike said dryly.

"Well, he's acting weird....he's angry all the time. I guess you haven't seen the bruises on her then either...."

"I have" he said simply.

"What I'm about to say doesn't leave this room, ok? If he found out I mentioned it and I am wrong....well, it's his secret to tell, not mine. Got it?"

Spike found himself intrigued. What about the moron had frightened Willow? "I don't make promises, luv. Never keep 'em."

Willow looked at him, her eyes worried. She saw the honesty in his eyes and felt that she could trust him. "Xander's father....he uh...he use to beat Xander and his mother. Bad. He stopped when Xander got his growth spurt back Freshman year, but he still yells a lot.....I'm worried that Xander may be taking after him."

"You think Xander is beating Anya?" the seriousness of her suspicion shocked him so much he forgot to use his little nicknames for the two teens. He shook his head slightly, "Nah...I don't see it."

"But" Willow started.

He held up his hand, "No, listen. I can sense things like that. Sort of a violent radar. The kid's angry, I give you that. That radiates off him in waves, but it always has. I think he's just finally voicing it. Albeit, a bit loudly. But, he's not beating her."

"Are you sure?" Willow said. "See? You can't be. She seemed so quiet...something is scaring her. If it isn't Xander, which I really hope I'm wrong about, then what is it?"

Spike shrugged, looking away. He didn't want her to know he actually cared. He'd taken a liking to the moron and he and the girl often spoke about their pasts. Damn it. He was falling into their little group. Belonging...he hated that. "Don't really care pet. It's their life."

"Fine. Go then" Willow said. She stood, moving past him. "I should have known better than to ask you for help. You only care about yourself anyway. I'll try to figure it out alone."

"Fuck yeah, I care about myself. No one else is going to if I don't. Why the hell should I care about your little friends? They hate me." Spike said. Suddenly realizing how poofy he sounded, he amended, "Just like I hate them."

Willow looked at him, her eyes suddenly lifeless. "We know you hate us without you constantly telling us. Go home Spike. Sorry to have bothered you with our petty little problems." She walked to the stairs, turning back to look at him, a wistful smile on her face, "I've never hated you."

Spike watched her go upstairs, hating the defeated way her shoulders slumped. He cursed, kicking the sofa. He did hate them. He didn't care. He let his eyes drift back to her as she finished making her up the stairs. Damn it. He sat down, his hands covering his head. Why did he care?

**********

"Red?"

Willow heard the call and moved from where she had been sitting. She left the window and walked into the hallway. She heard a frantic call, "RED!"

"I'm here Faith" she said, walking into the guest bedroom. She saw the slayer look towards the direction of her voice, a scared look on her face. "What's wrong?"

Faith reached for Willow's hand, needing something to reassure her. She held it tightly, shutting her eyes. "I can't see anything."

"What?" Willow said, surprised. "I thought it was all just blurry."

"It was" Faith said softly. She could hear how ragged her breathing was and hated showing this weakness. "It's all dark. What the fuck is happening?"

"I don't know." Willow said honestly. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was just four am. "It's real early, Faith. Why don't you try to get some sleep. We can ask Giles tomorrow."

Faith nodded, not letting go of Willow's hand. "Talk to me. Please?"

Willow sighed, moving to sit beside the brunette slayer on the bed. She couldn't imagine going through what the girl was. Sure, Faith had been evil, but she was trying to redeem herself, only to lose her sight. She began to speak, "Well, what do you want me to talk about?"

Faith shrugged, just glad to not be alone. "Dunno. Tell me about Blondie. He was a major hottie."

"Spike? Well, he was taken by the initiative and implanted. Since then, he's been helping us in exchange for food and stuff. He hates us all though....Buffy still doesn't like him, though he has saved her life several times."

"Someone's got a crush" Faith teased, hearing the way girl spoke about the vampire. "And even better, it pisses B off. I think I could enjoy that."

"She doesn't even know" Willow said. "She has Riley now. Just like Xander has Anya. They don't need me."

"Yeah they do" Faith said simply. She snuggled down into her pillow, enjoying speaking to someone other than Angel or Cordelia. "You're the glue."

"Glue?" Willow said, moving the pillow behind her and settling down.

"You hold them all together. They need you or else where would they be?" Faith said.

"Nah...anyone could research. It seems that lately they're never around. I'm always alone. Well, except for patrol. Then I have Spike. Even for a few hours..."

"They need you, Red" Faith said, yawning. "We all need ya."

"Really?" Willow asked softly. This was the first time she had spoken of her fears of being alone since that night with Spike. Since then, she had tried to ignore them, finally giving in an wondering if they were grounded. She did seem to be alone all the time now. She hated it.

"I'd be dead if it weren't for you. Get over the pity party" Faith said.

Hearing Faith repeat what Spike had said made Willow giggle. "Sorry...you just reminded me of someone...he said the same thing....it actually helped."

"Good. The guy must be a genius...hell, he thinks like me" Faith said, smiling slightly, her blindness forgotten as she and Willow continued to chat about Sunnydale and LA.

Spike listened to the girls, smiling slightly. He had heard Faith call out and gone upstairs to investigate, not realizing Willow was still awake. He thought back over what Willow had said. Did she have a crush on him? His smile deepened. That could be a good thing, he decided. He sat down, listening to them talk softly before sleep eventually claimed them both. He hated to admit it, but he thought he might be falling in love with Willow. Instead of scaring him, as it should, the idea was rather reassuring. He waited until their breathing was even before moving into the room and covering them up. He let his fingers caress Willow's face as he moved to sit down and watch her sleep for a few hours.

**********

Willow woke up, stretching as she moved her arm away from Faith. The girl was still sleeping heavily. She froze when she caught sight of Spike sleeping in the chair by the bed. She noticed his feet on her side of the mattress and suddenly knew what that cold block against her legs had been. Her expression softened as she looked at him. He was almost boyish in sleep. The hard edge was softened. She resisted the urge to brush back his hair, deciding instead to just watch him while she had an opportunity.

Spike was dreaming. Not dreaming really. Just remembering. He grimaced in his sleep as the memories flashed at him. He settled in to a deep sleep as the day of his death was replayed for his eyes for the first time in over a hundred years. He was watching himself be stalked by his sire. His curiosity got the better of him as he waited patiently to see what would happen next, as if he didn't know.

William left the pub late. He and the boys had been glad to see a day off of work and had been celebrating. Now, his head was rather fuzzy and he just felt tired. He heard the footsteps but disregarded them. For early morning, his area of town was always populated. Probably some working girl earning her supper, he decided. He turned down the alley that led to his flat. He heard the footsteps continue falling him. The scent of lavender drifted over to him. He turned, his blue eyes widening slightly. Beautiful. Dark hair...dark eyes. He smiled his most charming smile, not taking his eyes of the gorgeous creature. It was love at first sight.

Drusilla smiled at the dark haired man. His blue eyes flashed with humor and intelligence. She moved forward, glancing behind her to make sure her daddy was not following her. This handsome boy was going to be hers. She didn't want Daddy to tell her no. She wanted her own baby boy. She heard him say hello and moved closer. "So pretty...I want to make you mine. Will you be mine?"

William was caught by her words. This beautiful lady wanted him? He saw her eyes and looked deep into them. He moved towards her, his consent in his eyes. He brought his lips to hers, brushing them softly against hers. He felt her hand go to the back of his head as she suddenly pulled him to his knees. Never once was he frightened of her. He had found the place where he belonged. He closed his eyes as she drained his blood. He felt her sweet life force against his lips and he began to lick. Soon, he was drinking. The last thing he heard before he fell into unconsciousness was an amused male voice saying, "Dru, princess. What have you done now?"

"Oh Daddy...isn't he pretty? I love him...you will too. Promise. Can we keep him? Please?

The male voice sighed before finally relenting to her pleading. "Yes honey...we can keep him."

Spike suddenly shot up in the chair, his feet hitting the floor. He closed his eyes, putting his head on his knees. He hadn't dreamed of Dru in months. Why now? Why this memory? He felt his sire pulling at him. He couldn't refuse her. Was she near? He heard a soft gasp and looked up, his blue eyes still confused from the dream. He saw Willow watching him, her expression as confused as he felt.

"You ok?" she asked softly, concern pushing her embarrassment at getting caught watching to the side.

"Nightmare" he said.

"Oh...I have those too" she replied smiling.

He ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah, well this one was a memory I'd tried to forget...."

"A memory?" she asked, curious as to what he was trying not to remember.

"About my damn sire" he hissed, not understanding what she was trying to tell him. Dru use to always speak to him through his dreams...it was one of her many talents. She was telling him something by making him remember.

"About Angelus?" Willow asked.

"That bloody poof isn't my sire" Spike said, looking at her in surprise. "It was about Drusilla...my mum."

**********

"Don't yell at me!" Anya shrieked across the front seat of the car.

"I'm not yelling!" Xander said, his tone irritated.

"Yes you are...you do it so often lately you can't even tell!" Anya said, looking out the window as the car moved down Main Street.

"I do not yell!" Xander screamed at her. He glared at her before signaling and getting into the right lane.

"Whatever. I am so sick of it" Anya said softly. She rubbed her temples with her fingers, the pain flaring as he continued to scream that he didn't yell.

"I don't yell" Xander said, suddenly sounding unsure. He started to think back over the last two weeks. It did seem that he was letting his anger out verbally more than he ever had before. He frowned, realizing that she was right. He had spent the last fourteen days with her screaming at her. He was no better than his father. That thought terrified him. He stopped the car, turning to face Anya. "God Baby...I'm so sorry."

Anya stiffened, hearing him say yet again that he was sorry. She looked at him, "I'm sick of hearing that! Every night I hear you apologize at once. That isn't healthy. You have a problem Xander. I love you but I am sick of it. I can't handle it anymore."

"What?' Xander said, not liking the look in her eyes. "I love you too Anya. So much. I can't lose you...."

"You have" she said simply, opening her door. "I can't spend my life being yelled at, Xander. Look what it did to your mother."

Xander opened his own door, standing beside his car. "Please don't Anya. We can work this out. I don't know what happened...I can't lose you. Please?"

Anya shook her head, "No. I gave you two weeks. I tried to get you to acknowledge the problem. When you get it figured out, call me. I do love you, Xan."

Xander felt his heart break as she touched his hand over the top of his car. He tightened his grip, crying out softly as she pulled her fingers free from his. He watched her walk away, tears in his eyes. What had he done? He suddenly noticed the approaching car. He looked at Anya. Her head was down as she wiped her eyes. He screamed her name. She turned to look back at him, her eyes sad. He moved as fast as he could, but it was too late. The car swerved to miss her, hitting her anyway. He screamed as he fell to her side, her broken body in his arms. He cried.

*************

"Dru was your sire?" Willow said. She was shocked, yet, somehow that made sense. "We always assumed it was Angel...I thought he said he was your sire..."

"Peaches likes to take credit. He molded me, luv, but he didn't change me." Spike said, grimacing. "That was all Dru."

"He taught you?" Willow asked, knowing then why Spike had been so sadistic and mean.

"Drusilla wasn't really in a position to teach me, pet" Spike said sarcastically. "Angelus kept me because Dru wanted me. Didn't have any idea what a pain I'd be I'm sure...."

"You aren't a pain...well, to him you may have been" Willow admitted.

"She's making me remember" Spike spat out in disgust, wanting a cigarette.

"Huh?' Willow asked.

"Dru. She's sending me my damn memories. She hasn't done that in years...since before the whole soul thing. Fuck, maybe I'm just going crazy" Spike said.

"Is she here?" Willow asked, fear in her voice.

"No..." Spike said, frowning. "Don't feel her. She may have just been thinking about me....who the hell knows?"

"Thanks for staying" Willow said softly.

"Whatever" he said, not catching her eye. He saw her smile and felt disgusted at the joy that simple action brought to him.

"I'd still like for us to talk" Willow started to say. She heard the phone ringing and picked it up. "Hello? Xander? What's wrong? Where? Oh my god...is she ok? I'll be there as soon as I can..."

"It's Anya...she was hit by a car...she's in critical condition" Willow said, her voice tremoring from her fear. She glanced at Faith's sleeping body and then looked at Spike.

"I'll watch the chit" Spike said, not wanting her to see his worry about Anya. "Is she going to be ok?"

"I don't know" Willow said, hugging him suddenly. She needed to feel safe before going to the hospital. "Thank you."

"Watching the slayer isn't anything" he said gruffly.

"Not for that...for just being here when I needed you..." she said, pulling back and kissing his cheek. She left him sitting there in surprise at her actions.

**********

Willow ran to her room and dressed quickly. She couldn't believe that Anya was in the hospital. She might be dying. What scared her the most was that this wasn't caused by some demon or vampire. This had been an accident. She couldn't believe how horrible Xander had sounded. His tone had been scared and guilty. She wondered what exactly had happened. Spike seemed convinced that Xander wasn't the one hitting Anya. But, she had seen that his temper had been rather prominent the last few meetings. That, for Xander, was surprising. She really hoped that Anya was ok.

She called out a goodbye and final thanks to Spike. She couldn't believe she had kissed him. Sure, it had just been a friendly peck on the cheek, but she had done it. He had seemed as shocked as she. She grabbed her purse and coat and ran outside. She was several miles from the hospital and decided not to walk. She found her parent's car keys and said a small prayer that she could remember the details of driving. She had received her license on her sixteenth birthday but rarely drove anywhere in Sunnydale. She backed out and drove off towards the hospital.

The demon watched the redhead drive away. He glanced at the house, knowing that the vampire and the slayer were still there. He smiled slightly. The spell was finally coming together. He had been growing impatient. It had taken two weeks. And still he had not seen the results he was aiming for. He wondered what had happened. He knew that it was the mortal boy and Anyanka. His connection to them through the curse let him know if it was working. Anyanka's connection was weakening. He suddenly frowned as he felt it weaken further. He let his mind search trying to find her location. He wanted to know what was happening.

**********

It was dark. Anya felt like she was floating. Strangely, it was rather peaceful. She felt comfortable. It was quiet. She liked quiet, lately. She felt someone beside her but couldn't see anyone. There was pain in her body, but she knew she wasn't in her body. Had she died? She wondered if that was why she felt so free. Damn human body. She had survived over a thousand years as a demon only to die not even a year after becoming human. Stupid weak humans.

She heard a voice come to her. It was her Xander. He was crying. She stilled. Xander never cried. He rarely displayed any emotion other than happiness and amusement. This last week had shown her the side of him he kept bottled up. She didn't mind him letting out his anger. She knew it was part of being human. But, he didn't deal with it. Instead, he just screamed a lot and didn't listen. It pissed her off at the same time it allowed her to see the real Xander Harris. She did love the idiot though. Anger and all.

She wondered again if she was dead. It might be nice not to feel pain anymore. The bruises and cuts from the last weeks were growing on her nerves. It made her feel weak. She hated feeling weak. It might be worth dying to not have to be human, she decided.

She heard the words coming to her more clearly. Xander was praying. She didn't know he believed in God. He was begging her to come back to him. To let him love her. She smiled as she listened to him remember when they had first met. The way she had annoyed him. Listen to him describe the first time he had realized that he had loved her. The emotion in his voice surprised her. They had not spoken of their feelings, just assuming the other one new the depth of them. She hadn't realized just how deeply he did care for her. She began to move towards his voice. The pain slowly started to come back to her. She needed Xander. Death wasn't worth losing him. She could handle being human if he was beside her.

Xander knew this was his fault. He had spent nineteen years bottling up his emotions. Not wanting to become like his father. Now, after they had finally spilled over, he had driven Anya into traffic...into the path of a car. He was the reason she was laying there unconscious. He felt tears on his face as he clasped her hand. "God damn it Anya...you'd better come back! I can't do this whole living thing without you.....we have so much ahead of us...you can't miss that."

He felt her hand squeeze his and looked up in surprise. She was slowly opening her eyes. He yelled for a nurse, not taking his eyes off of her. She blinked as she smiled softly at him, "Don't plan on missing anything...."

"Jeez, Anya. You scared me so much...don't ever leave me again!" he said, his voice tremoring from the fear he had felt at the idea of losing her.

"Love you Xander" she said before closing her eyes again. She was breathing steadily but the pain in her back was horrid.

"Love you too Anya" he said, his hand tight around hers as the nurse came in to check on her. He wasn't letting her go again.

**********

"Blondie?"

Spike turned towards the slayer and mentally sighed. Why was he babysitting a slayer? Well, he knew why he wasn't killing her. The damn implant made that a bit impossible. But, he knew that he wouldn't kill her even if he wasn't implanted. Willow trusted him to watch her. He would do nothing to betray that trust. "What slayer?"

Faith smiled. She had sensed the vampire as soon as she had woken up. She knew that Willow was no longer in the bed. "Is Red around?"

"At the hospital" Spike replied.

"WHAT?" Faith shrieked, scrambling to sit up. She turned her head in the direction of his voice.

"Damn...not so loud. The demon girl, Anya, got in an accident of some sort. Chubs called to get Willow to meet them."

"Anya was hurt?" Faith asked, thinking.

"Yeah" Spike said, not aware of the slight worry that tainted his voice.

"I am so going to kick his brooding ass when I get back to LA" Faith said, sitting up and groaning.

"So, you and Peaches" Spike said, amusement in his voice.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Fang. He is so not my type. That angsty soulful shit may cut it with Buffy, but not with me. Sides, he wants to save me. Can't do that if he's fucking me."

"He can try" Spike said, his voice laughing at the sullen way she had said the last two sentences. "Poor wittle slayer has a thing for the nancy boy."

"You should talk" Faith shot back, snickering. "You and Red? What's up with that?"

"Nothing" Spike said, the amusement gone from his voice.

"Oooh...I touched a nerve. Not so big now, huh vampire? The bad ass had the hots for sweet innocent little Willow. What ever would Buffy say?"

"If you breathe a word of it, I'll tell Bitchy about you and brood boy." Spike warned.

"Fuck...it's no fun teasing if you have something on me too" Faith said simply. "I do not have the hots for Angel, by the way."

"Yeah yeah yeah....I can hear the lust in your voice, slayer. You want him. Probably want to rip that brooding exterior away and find the remains of Angelus that still lurk inside the pansy assed wanker. He might enjoy that, actually. He liked playing rough."

"He did?" Faith asked quietly. She caught herself, "Yeah, like I care." she said hastily.

Spike just laughed. "You want details, pet? I can give them to you...I can tell you the way he likes to brush the hair from your face before you cum so that he can see how your face tenses...the soft little moans he makes if you take him deep in your throat....the way the muscles in his back ripple as he thrusts into you...the way his teeth feel tearing into your skin as he cums...."

Faith couldn't breathe. The images Spike's sexy words were painting were flooding her mind. She could see Angel fucking her the way Spike described it. Damn it. Why had she fallen for him? He was Buffy's. Always would be. She was nothing more than a pest to him. Another soul that needed saving. He didn't even see her as a female now. Not after what she had done. She was just the latest in his redemption list. He'd never take her the way Spike talked about. "Speaking from experience, eh lover? Knew you and Angel were a bit close...."

"Fuck you" Spike said, shaking the memories from his mind. After Dru had changed him, Angelus had become his teacher...his lover...his punisher. The one person he had strived for years to impress only to fail each time. Dru was his sire, but Angelus had made him who he was.

"Sorry, blondie. Not my type, but thanks for the offer. Nice to know I've still got it" Faith said with a smile.

Spike groaned, suddenly seeing Angel with the girl. Somehow, it worked for him. Peaches would definitely stay on his toes if he were involved with her. He smiled, liking that image. "You've got it still, luv. Poor Peaches...he won't know what hit him."

"What the fuck are you rambling about?' Faith demanded.

"Nothing" Spike said innocently.

Faith just laughed, "Fine. Keep your secrets...I can keep mine too...."

"What secrets do you have that I would possibly find interesting?" Spike said, his tone bored.

"WELL....Red and I actually became friends a bit before I went to the Mayor. I stayed over.....read her diary...learned everything that turns little miss innocent on....the way she wants to be seduced...about the little crush she had on a certain blonde vampire a couple of years ago and the naughty fantasies she had about him...."

"Spill it" Spike hissed, a smile on his face. Willow had wanted him that far back? He had to know details.

"Nuh uh...." Faith said, chuckling.

"Slayer' Spike warned. "Wouldn't want Peaches to hear about your not so platonic thoughts would we?"

Faith frowned, "Fuck. Fine. I'll tell, but you can't tell anyone about Angel. Promise!"

"Fine. Don't tell Red I sort of well that I uh like her either, K?" Spike asked, again cursing what he had become. Making deals with a damn slayer just to hear Willow's private thoughts about him.

"Like?" Faith snorted. "And I'm a saint. Keep your illusions, Spike. I think this is way past like right now...."

"Just talk...what did Red say about me?" Spike demanded, leaning forward eagerly to hear the details.

**********

Willow finally found Xander sitting in the lobby outside Anya's room. He looked horrible. She ran up to him, saying his name softly. He looked up, the expression on his face reassuring her. She held her arms out as he came into them. He hugged her tightly, not saying anything. "How is she?"

"God Wills...I was so scared...all my fault" Xander said, speaking into Willow's red hair. He pulled back, blinking back tears. "She's going to be ok. They almost lost her for a bit....but she came back...to me. I almost lost her Willow."

"Thank god she's going to be ok" Willow said, sighing in relief. She said quietly, "What happened Xander?"

"Not now" Xander said, moving away from her. He turned his back on her, not wanting to talk about it. He felt so guilty.

Willow blinked back tears. She wasn't needed. Xander didn't even want to talk about it. She started to leave, but instead glared at his back. "Alexander Harris. You had better turn around this minute and tell me what happened!"

Xander turned to face her, surprised at her pushing him. He had thought she'd quit asking questions when he had asked her to. "I can't deal with this now Willow."

"Anya is laying in the hospital bed and she is having to deal with it now. I love you Xander and I want to help. I will not let you push me away." Willow said her tone warning. She took his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Now talk mister."

Xander blanched, sitting down, his hand still holding Willow's. "We were fighting. She made me stop the car...she was going to leave me. I hadn't realized until that moment what I'd become these last few weeks....I was him" he spat out the last word, giving her no doubt who he was talking about. "Will, I was becoming my father!"

"Shh...you are not your father! You're Alexander Harris. My friend. Anya's lover. I've told you for years that you had to deal with the anger. It just finally boiled over, I guess."

"She left me, Willow. She was so upset she walked right into the path of the car. It was my fault. I almost killed her" Xander said, leaning forward and laying his head on her shoulder as he cried.

"You brought her back, Xander." Willow said quietly. "Your love for her brought her back. She's going to be fine. You can get some counseling for your anger....don't let it drive her away again!"

"I won't....you're right. You're always right." Xander said, smiling at his best friend. "What would we do without you?"

"Survive" Willow said, smiling. "But it's nice to know I was able to help."

"Do you want to see her?" Xander asked.

"Sure....do you think she'd mind?" Willow asked.

"Nah...she likes you" Xander said, walking into the room, his arm around Willow's shoulders. The demon moved back into the hallway as he left the hospital. They were faring rather well. Three down. Five to go. He'd see how well those five did. He smiled, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he walked into the warm sun.

***********

Angel turned off of the freeway when he saw the Sunnydale exit. Half an hour. He hadn't wanted to come back to Sunnydale. It seemed too soon. Buffy had moved on. That he knew. He even knew that Spike was aiding the slayer now. He hadn't seen his grandchilde since that night in LA all those months ago. He frowned as he neared the town. Something was in the air, he could feel it. He shook his head. Just the hellmouth. He forgot how strong it was after being gone for so long.

He knew that Faith was at Willow's. The girl had called him the night before wanting to know if he had found anything to explain her vision. He hadn't. He felt so guilty for not being able to help. She had sounded so forlorn. He had decided then and there to go to Sunnydale to get her. He didn't even want to begin trying to understand his impulse to protect her...to keep her safe. She had tried to kill him not a year before, rather successfully all things considered. Yet, he had seen something in her that he could relate to. A kindred spirit so to speak. He was going to save her. He didn't know why he had to, but he did. She was in pain at the moment and she needed him. She didn't need to be alone. He pushed his foot down, wanting to hurry and get to Sunnydale. To get to Faith.

***************

"You're kidding?" Faith said, laughing as Spike finished his story. She took another bite of her hamburger, surprised that it was edible. Spike had cooked for her. It was still sunny so he couldn't get her anything. She'd promised not to tell anyone he had fed a slayer.

"No I'm not. Peaches just laid there in the mud, a sullen expression on his face as Dru laughed. He didn't even punish her that night" Spike said, smiling as he remembered.

"You loved them both didn't you?" Faith asked.

Spike snorted, "I don't love anyone. That's a human emotion. I cared, I guess."

"Did they not love you?" Faith asked, her blindness giving her confidence in asking him such personal questions.

"No, they didn't. Well, they may have but not enough. I was always the left over. Angelus had Dru and she had him. Hell, Angelus even had Darla. I was there and they cared but it was never really love. I was theirs. They didn't have to love me. I'd have done anything for them. Love never entered it. Seldom does in my world, pet."

"Yet, you love Willow" Faith said softly, stating it as a fact. She and Spike had spent the last hour talking about Willow and Angel and his past. She felt like she understood Spike in a way that few people did.

"Told you, slayer. I don't love anyone" Spike said, his tone getting irritated. The memories she was bringing up were making him angry. He said quietly, "I care for her. I'm tired of talking. Get some sleep. Willow should be home soon."

Faith nodded, knowing she had pushed him too far. She laid down, the blackness surrounding her. Why did she feel sorry for Spike? Sure, he had never really loved but neither had she. Of course, she was eighteen. He was what? technically like a hundred and fifty one or something. How could he survive that long with just caring? She was one to talk. She cut herself off from anyone she knew she might even care about. She and Spike were alike in that way. Despite what he said, she could tell from his stories that Drusilla and Angelus had both loved him. He just wouldn't accept that. Damn stubborn vampire. Reminded her of someone else. Another damn stubborn gorgeous vampire. Like teacher, like student, she decided, turning over to try to nap before Willow came home.

**********

Buffy walked inside Giles' apartment. She still felt weak but was managing to walk around much better. She figured the virus she had must be running its course. She saw Giles sitting on the couch watching TV. She smiled as she sat down, "Hey you."

Giles looked at her, "Buffy. I see you made it alone today."

She nodded, "Yep. I'm getting my strength back finally. I don't know what the hell I had, but it wasn't fun."

Giles shrugged, "At least you can walk around now. Have you heard from Xander?"

She frowned, "No, why?"

"Anya was hit by a car" seeing Buffy's shocked expression, he added, "She's awake and doing much better."

"My god. No...he didn't call. Well, I was at Riley's but he has that number."

"Yes, you're always at Riley's so I assume he'd know how to find you" Giles said, his tone sharp.

"What was that for?" Buffy asked, glaring at him.

Giles sighed, "What was what for? Is there a reason you are here? I know I didn't call you for anything. I'm trying to finish my program."

"Rude much?" Buffy asked, confusion on her face.

"Buffy, go home. Or actually, go back to Riley. If I need you, I'll be sure to call." Giles said, dismissing her.

Buffy stood, her lower lip pouting. "Fine. I'll call you tomorrow. I hope whatever bug crawled up your ass is gone by then."

Giles watched her leave, wondering how on earth he had put up with her constant self centered whining for so long. He stood and went into the kitchen. He found a bottle of scotch and poured a glass. Smelling the alcohol, he smiled. He tossed a book onto the floor, kicking the pile closer to the bookshelf. He had thought he had put those back. Oh well. He didn't care. He sat down, drinking his scotch as the movie continued to play. He sighed, wondering again what was happening to him.

**************

Angel knocked on Willow's door, waiting for an answer. He stood in surprise when Spike opened the door. "Spike?"

Spike smiled. He'd been right. "She's upstairs. Last door on the right."

"Who?" Angel asked cautiously. He knew Spike was helping Buffy but he couldn't believe they had allowed him to roam around Willow's house.

"Your new little slayer" Spike said with a knowing grin.

"They let you watch Faith?" Angel demanded.

"They didn't let me do anything. I volunteered so that Willow could go to the hospital. They don't even know she's back." Spike replied, shutting the door and heading into the living room.

"What are you doing?" Angel asked, not sure what was exactly happening.

Spike sighed loudly, glaring at Angel. "I'm waiting for Red. Faith lost the rest of her vision and didn't want to stay alone. She and I had a nice chat today and then she went to sleep. As I said, last door on the right."

Angel headed up the stairs, Spike's words in his head. She had lost the rest of her vision. He had failed her. Just like he failed everyone. No. Not this time. He would help Faith if it was the last thing he did. He suddenly wondered why Willow had gone to the hospital. He hoped nothing was wrong.

**********

"Who's there?" Faith called out, feeling a vampire. She knew it wasn't Spike. He smelled of citrus for some strange reason.

Angel looked in at her, his eyes sad. She didn't even know who was there. It was all his fault. He walked into the room, shutting the door. He moved to her side, speaking softly, "I came as soon as I could."

Faith smiled, "Angel? You came here for me?"

Angel sat down beside her, taking her hand. "Spike told me."

Fear crossed her face, "That miserable bastard. He promised he wouldn't tell."

Angel frowned, "Faith. I can tell that you can't see anything even if he hadn't told me. Why would you want to keep that a secret?"

"OH...that" Faith said, sighing. "I thought you meant something else."

"You and Spike have a secret?" Angel asked, cursing himself for the jealousy he heard in his voice.

"Not really" Faith said, enjoying the feel of his hand holding hers. "Why are you here Angel?"

"I feel like this is my fault" he started to say.

She pulled her hand away, turning away from his voice. "You felt guilty. Your latest little project didn't work the way you planned. Sorry. You can leave now."

"It isn't that....you aren't a project Faith" Angel said, his words rolling over her. "I didn't want you facing this alone."

"Really?" she asked quietly, hope in her voice.

Angel looked at her. Without the wall she had erected around herself, her vulnerability and unease were easy to see. He pulled her against his chest, still not really understanding what he was beginning to feel for the girl. "I want to keep you safe, Faith. Let me in. Please?"

Faith snuggled against his chest, his scent filling her senses. "Thank you Angel."

"For what?" he asked, running a hand through her silky hair as he held her.

"For caring" she said simply.

***********

"Well?" Spike asked as Willow came in.

She smiled, "She's doing well. Her leg is broken and her wrist is sprained, but she should be out of the hospital soon."

"Good" he said, relief in his voice.

"How is Faith?" Willow asked, sitting down beside him on the sofa.

"Peaches is here. I'd say she was pretty happy right now" Spike said with a knowing grin.

"Angel?" Willow said, smiling slowly. "Angel and Faith...I can see that. Well, good for her. She's not alone anymore."

"If she doesn't push him away" Spike muttered. "She's like me. She pushes people she loves away."

"I didn't think you believed in love?" Willow said, not looking at him.

"It's not for me." Spike said, disgusted.

"Of course not." Willow agreed. "You're an evil bad ass vampire. They don't love. They don't allow themselves to be loved."

"Right" Spike said, his tone unsure. He watched her face and wondered what had brought that on. She wasn't looking at him. He didn't like that.

"Anyone that fell in love with you would have to be stupid. A dumb idiot. Hopeless in a lot of ways" she continued, her eyes still on the television.

"A complete moron" he echoed, causing her to look at him. He saw the love and pain in her eyes. He brought his hand up to caress her face. "A foolish person."

Willow moved closer to him, his hand bringing her chin up. "A very foolish person. You just aren't the type of guy to love. She'd be...."

"You?" Spike asked, brushing his lips against hers.

Willow's eyes widened. "I am foolish. I fell in love with you, Spike. I tried not to...I tried to fight it...It wouldn't work. It happened."

"Shh...." Spike said, kissing her again. His lips claimed hers as his hand moved to the back of her head, bringing her closer. She loved him. He slid his tongue over her lips until she opened up, allowing him entrance. He closed his eyes, losing himself in the taste that was Willow.

**********

Buffy let herself in to Riley's dorm, her mind racing. She sat down on his bed, her knees going under her chin as she thought over her conversation with Giles. Something had happened to her watcher. He didn't seem to care anymore. She laid down, her body weak from the walk. She really hoped that it was just some bug. The doctors had done blood work and couldn't find anything. Her own mother thought it might be due to stress and psychological problems. She wasn't crazy.

She looked up as Riley came inside. He smiled at her, his eyes full of love. She kissed him as he sat down and then told him about Giles and what had happened. "What do you think?"

Riley stared into space, thinking. He had also noticed the watcher's behavior changing but didn't know what to say. So, he shrugged, "I don't know Buffy. Give him some time. Maybe he's having a midlife crisis or something."

"He's too old for that. Besides, he didn't buy a sports car, he insulted me." Buffy said.

"I'm sure it's nothing" Riley said. "How do you feel?"

"Still weak but I walked the entire way by myself. Of course, now I feel like I was run over...Oh my god. Anya." Buffy suddenly said.

"What about Anya?" Riley asked, his fingers playing with her hair.

"She's in the hospital. She was hit by a car" Buffy said. "I wanted to call and check on her."

"Is she ok?' Riley asked.

"Giles said she was...." Buffy sounded unsure.

Riley felt the tension that had entered her. He kissed her forehead and stood. "Come on. Let's go see about her. I can drive."

Buffy's eyes lit up. "Thank you."

Riley just smiled, "I want to make sure she's ok. I'm sure you do too. Calling is so impersonal."

"I love you" Buffy said, kissing him as she stood.

"Love you too" Riley said. "Can you make it downstairs or do I need to carry you?"

"I can make it" Buffy said, determination in her voice.

****************

Willow whimpered as she moved closer to Spike. She fit against him perfectly, their bodies matching. She felt him push her to the couch as their lips stayed join. She ran her hands over his back, her nails scraping against his shirt as she tried to urge him closer.

Spike was drowning. He couldn't get enough of her. Her taste...her smell...it was intoxicating. He ran his hands down her stomach, needing to touch her. He slid the bottom of her shirt up, his cool hands gliding over her warm flesh. He heard her make a soft moan as his hands drifted up her ribcage. He wanted her. From her actions, she wanted him too. He pushed his body against her, cursing the material that kept them from touching.

Angel walked into the living room, frowning. He didn't see them. He moved closer, freezing as he took in their forms on the sofa. He watched, a smile crossing his face. Spike and Willow. He chuckled as he moved to head back upstairs. He had no plans of interrupting them. They seemed focused on each other. He wondered if Buffy knew about them. Somehow, he doubted that she would approve. He crept back upstairs, planning to tell Faith that Anya was fine. He assumed she was since Spike and Willow were practically taking each other in the living room. He laughed softly as he went to join Faith.

**********

Willow woke up, a soft smile on her face. She looked at her lover, watching him sleep. Her lover. She couldn't believe that she and Spike had made love. She loved him so much it scared her. Almost. He had been surprisingly gentle and caring throughout the entire experience. Her body flushed as she remembered what they had done together.

Spike opened his eyes, smiling at seeing Willow watching him. He brought a hand up and brushed her hair from her face. "Morning pet."

"Morning" she said softly, not sure what to say.

"You ok?" he asked, concern in his voice as his fingers brushed over the bite on her neck.

"Never better" she replied honestly. "You?"

He laughed, shaking his head, "Bloody marvelous."

"I'm glad" she said, her eyes softening. "I love you Spike."

His face changed as he frowned, "No you don't. Last night was nice, Red. It wasn't love though. You couldn't love someone like me."

Willow sat up, glaring at him, "Don't tell me what I can and can't do. I love you. You, Spike. The you that I've gotten to know these last months."

Spike snorted, running a hand through his hair. "I'm a demon, luv. An evil murdering psychotic demon. Nice girls like you don't love guys like me. We're good for a fuck, but that's it. Trust me on, pet."

Willow looked at him and was startled to see the honesty in his eyes. He really believed what he was telling her. "No."

Spike moved from the bed, pulling his jeans on. "Fine. Don't trust me. I don't care anyway. BUT, you don't love me. No one loves me."

"Run Spike. Isn't that what you're good at?" Willow asked, her eyes shining angrily. She couldn't believe he had ruined what they had shared. She had seen the look in his eyes as they had made love. He did care about her. Hell, she'd thought he might even love her. Was she just a fool? No. She knew what she had seen. He was just scared. Scared of loving her. Of loving anyone.

Spike looked at her, his eyes narrowing dangerously, "Don't Red."

"Don't what? Don't love you? Too late for that one, Blondie. I've already fallen too deep. Don't be honest? I'm not going to lie to you. I don't want to lose you, Spike. I am not going to sit here and agree with what you say. It's a bunch of lies. If it makes you feel better to believe them, fine. But I won't admit to a bunch of lies. You running away in fear is not going to make me love you less. It's just going to make you awfully lonely."

"I said shut up" he hissed, not wanting to believe her words. "I don't love you. This isn't some fairy tale with a happy ending. In my world, there are no happily ever afters. Get use to that, Red. Love is for the weak. I've never been weak."

"Run away, Spike. But remember this. I'm not Drusilla. There is no one for you to compete with. It's only you. In my heart...in my mind...in my soul." Willow took a deep breath seeing the look in his eyes. "I also won't wait forever. By the time you quit running, it might be too late."

Spike glared at her, lashing out from his own fear, "I'm not running. I'm being honest, something you don't seem able to be. I bloody well know you aren't Dru. You could never be what she is to me. She is my moon...my reason for living. My sire and lover. Who are you? You're nothing. A nice shag and a sweet kid. That's it. Nothing more."

Willow felt the tears in her eyes at his soft words. He was right. He didn't love her. He loved Dru....always had and always would. He had just lusted for her. That was it. No one wanted her. "Leave."

"Gladly" Spike said, turning. He felt his heart pierced as he heard her quiet crying. He had hurt her. Something he had vowed never to do. He straightened up as he left the room, closing the door on her tears.

**********

Faith jumped when she heard the door slam. She had heard most of what was being yelled in Willow's room. She smiled sadly, wishing there was something she could do for the redhead. She wanted to go kick Spike's ass, but her blindness prohibited such an action.

Angel heard Willow crying after Spike left. He wanted to go kick some sense into his childe, but he knew he was partially to blame for the younger man's actions. He and Drusilla had warped the lad over the years. "Do you want me to check on her?"

Faith turned towards Angel's voice. She had forgotten he was there. She shook her head. "No. She's upset. I can't believe that asshole."

"He isn't that bad" Angel defended his favorite grandchilde. "If it means anything, he does love her."

Faith snorted, "He sure shows it well."

"Faith, he's a vampire. He's probably scared to death at what he's feeling for her. Drusilla loved him, but she spoke to the stars. Her love wasn't something he actually had to face and accept. It was more admiration in a way."

"What about you? Did you love him?" Faith asked.

Angel sighed, "Again, it gets complicated. Vampires can love but few do. Too human for most of us. It makes you weak. I cared for him in many ways. Was it love? Probably if you want to call it that. Did I show him love? No. He was a grandchilde. He amused me and I wanted him. I did care...still do. Are you sure I shouldn't look in on her?"

"Leave her alone" Faith said. She heard the quiet sobbing, cursing her slayer's senses. "She's hurt...she must have had sex with him."

"Yes" Angel agreed, having heard the soft moans as the two had coupled throughout the afternoon.

"She loves him" Faith said simply.

"Yes, she does" Angel said.

"Why are men so stupid?" Faith asked, angry at the pain the girl was going through. She had helped her more than she could ever guess. She owed Willow so much. If not for her, she'd be dead or worse. Even after she tried to push her away, Willow had helped.

"Just born that way" Angel said lightly. He watched Faith smile, glad to see the girl actually looking happy.

"Yeah, you are" Faith said. She moved her feet over the side of the bed, her body racing as she felt his hands on her arms.

"Lay down Faith" Angel said. "You aren't well enough to be walking around."

"Shut up Dad" Faith said, standing. "I have to see Willow...well, not see. Hell, you know what I mean. She's in pain. I have to be there for her."

"I'll help" Angel said simply, seeing the determined look on Faith's pretty face.

Faith nodded, allowing his arms to go around her. "Thank you."

*****************

"Feeling better?" Xander asked, looking at Anya.

"Yes" she replied, holding his hand tightly.

"When do you get out?" Buffy asked, sitting in the chair.

"Tomorrow. I have to be careful but Xander's agreed to nurse me."

Riley laughed, "Does he have a nice white uniform?"

"Watch it soldier boy" Xander warned playfully. He was so happy that Anya was all right. He had never been more scared in his entire laugh as he had been when she had been unconscious.

"I'm glad you're ok" Buffy said sincerely. She stood, breathing in from the effort. "I'd better go get some rest."

"How are you doing?" Anya asked, watching the struggle the slayer was having just standing alone.

"Been better but it isn't as bad as it was" Buffy said. "I thought it was going away, but it hit me back twice as bad."

"Doctors still have no ideas?" Xander asked, his expression worried.

"No. They think it's mental. I don't know anymore what to think" Buffy said, tears in her eyes. "But, I'll hush now. You need your rest, especially if Xander's the one taking care of you."

"Be careful" Xander said softly.

Buffy smiled as she took Riley's arm, "Always, Xan. Take care of her."

"Come on, Buffy. Get well Anya" Riley called to the girl. "Later Xander."

"Take care of her" Anya called out softly, watching them leave. She squeezed Xander's hand, wondering what was wrong with Buffy.

**********

Willow looked up, hope in her eyes as she heard the door open. She smiled sadly when she saw Faith and Angel. She wiped her face, grinning sheepishly, "Sorry...did I wake you?"

Faith moved to sit down, with Angel's help. She felt around for Willow's hand, squeezing it. "No. I was awake. Are you ok?"

Willow sighed, looked at Angel. "You both heard?"

"He's an asshole. If I could, I'd stake him after kicking his ass" Faith vowed.

"He was honest" Willow said. "I can't wish him death for that."

Angel sat at the edge of the bed, looking at her. "He does love you."

Willow shook her head, "No he doesn't. I'll never be Drusilla. She's the only one he wants. I thought I might be able to get him to love me. But, I know now I can't force him to feel something he doesn't."

"Guys" Faith said suddenly.

"What is it?" Willow asked.

Faith looked at her, a smile crossing her face. "I can see....I mean, it's still real blurry but there is some light now!"

"Oh my god....are you sure?" Willow asked, forgetting about Spike.

"That's great" Angel said, smiling.

"What the fuck is happening?" Faith asked, a confused look on her face.

"I wish I knew" Willow said. "I mean, the entire gang is freaking out. Buffy can barely walk, Riley is acting even goofier than usual, Xander is turning into his dad, Anya has become a major klutz, Giles can barely remember his name right now, you lost your eyes sight and I lost Spike."

"I told you, he loves you" Angel said. "Dru and I messed him up, Willow. He's scared to fall in love."

"Scared? Aren't we all scared of something?" Willow asked, hating the sad sound in her voice.

"Yes....but he is scared to death. He'd rather lose you than confess to loving you" Angel said.

"Well, he lost her" Faith said, straining to make out any type of form.

"I love him Angel. I tried not to, but I do. I know you say he's scared, but fear is no reason to lash out at me that way."

Angel ran a hand over his head, "I know. I won't make excuses for him. He said some pretty harsh things, but it was what he was taught. That is my fault. Mine and Drusilla's. We made him what he is."

Willow had frozen, her eyes widening as she thought about what they had been saying. "No...."

"What is it?" Faith asked, turning towards her voice.

"Fear...." Willow said, looking at Angel. "I finally see it....My god....we have to call the gang. We have to find out what is happening!"

"What are you talking about?" Angel asked, trying to follow her.

Willow looked at him, "Don't you get it? Fear. All of our fears. They've come true. Xander turned into his father. Buffy is so weak she can't even defend herself. Spike has fallen in love" she finished softly.

"My blindness! I don't want to depend on anyone but myself" Faith said, knowing she had given in and let herself depend on not only Willow, but Spike and Angel as well.

"Someone must have put a spell on us...or it's a prophecy or something" Willow said, excited that she may have figured out what was happening to all of her friends.

"I'll call Giles and the others. We need to research" Angel said, seeing how her argument made sense. Someone had cast a spell on the scooby gang to make their greatest fears come true.

******

Outside, the demon frowned. The redhead had figured it out. He had know she would be the one to do so. But, where was the vampire? He was the most important part of the damn spell. Without him, it was pointless. The demon moved away from the house, not wanting to be spotted. He had to rethink his plans. It had taken them less time to figure out about the spell and more time to defeat it than he had anticipated. And the damn vampire was nowhere to be found. It had to be the eight of them to fully defeat the spell. Well, the demon suddenly smiled, it didn't have to be defeated by them all. It could be fun if some still lingered in fear. He felt a presence and sighed. Fine. None could linger. He'd find the damn vampire and fix it. Or else he might be facing his own death.

**********

Willow had decided to sleep in her parent's room. She couldn't stand to go back to her bed, still scented from her and Spike's love making. She wouldn't have been able to sleep at all, smelling and remembering. They had decided to wait until morning to call the others. None of them had realized that it was after two in the morning. No need to disturb them with strange theories until they were all awake.

She couldn't sleep, even in another bed. Every time her eyes closed, she saw his face as he had taken her. She felt his hands on her. Shaking her head, she sat up in the large bed. She decided to spend the evening thinking over her idea. Was it possible that someone had cursed them? It seemed very likely, when she tied everything together. Strange things finally seemed to go together. She had numerous questions in her mind. Foremost being, Who and Why? What good would it do to have the entire gang fighting their fears? She could understand Buffy and Faith. They were the slayers. But why bring the others into it? And Spike...he wasn't even really a part of the gang. Well, he was but he wasn't. He'd deny being a part of them with his dying breath.

She placed pieces of the puzzle together in her mind as the minutes ticked by. At least she had something to take her mind off of Spike and all the terrible things that they had said to each other. She closed her eyes, trying to remember a spell or curse that may have caused their problems. Maybe Giles would know. Frowning, she thought over the last few times she had seen the former watcher. It was lucky for them if he remembered his name. Was it hopeless? She didn't want to believe that. Between the eight of them, nine including Angel, maybe they could find answers. She continued thinking, not even realizing that she was drifting off to sleep.

***************

Faith laid down, her vision still blurry but starting to focus finally. She felt brave so she looked at Angel. Or rather the hazy form that was him to her eyes. "Why are you here?"

Angel glanced up, shaken from his thoughts by her abrupt question. "I told you. I was worried."

Faith stared into his eyes. "Angel, we're old enough to be honest with each other. Why are you here?"

Angel ran a hand through his hair, "I don't really know."

Faith nodded, smiling slightly, "That's honest. Come on. It's warm in here. I could use a cold cover."

Angel smiled as he moved to lay beside her. He could see the fear and uncertainty in her pretty face. She was scared to death about what was happening. He spooned in behind her, his hand flat on her stomach. He felt her relax, her breathing becoming more even.

"I think I'm falling in love with you" Faith said quietly, her fingers playing across his hand.

"What?" Angel said, startled by her revelation.

"I don't want to, trust me." Faith assured him. "But...you make me feel. That's something no one has ever been able to do."

"You're grateful" Angel said softly, wondering why it hurt that it wasn't really love.

Faith snorted, "Trust me. I'm grateful to Willow. Doesn't mean I want to be with her for the rest of my short life. It's you. You care. I enjoy being with you. Does that scare you?"

Angel couldn't follow her thoughts, "What? No...I mean, I don't know. I like you Faith, but I can't love you. The curse..."

Faith moved against him, her hair touching his face. She smiled as she looked at him, "Curse smurse. I've had sex before. Been there done that. It never compared to this."

"This?" he asked, his eyes burning into hers.

Her smiled deepened, "Just laying in the arms of someone that could love me. I'd give up the sex to wake up beside you every morning....Gawd...I sound so sappy....it must be something in the water..."

Any words she was planning on saying were caught by Angel's tender kiss. She responded, enjoying the pleasure of his mouth on hers. She looked at him as he pulled away. He smiled, "I could get use to having you around...waking up with you in my arms...but I can't make any promises. The curse..."

Faith put her finger against his lips. "Let's forget the curse...we can just see what happens. No sex. This is better anyway. Just hold me."

Angel watched as she turned her head, snuggling against the pillow. He kissed her cheek, wondering what had just happened between them. He smiled softly laying his head beside hers and whispering, "Always."

**********

Willow looked at the group as they sat down. She had been unable to contact Spike, not really wanting to anyway. Not after last night. It was too fresh. She saw the other's surprised looks at finding Faith and Angel sitting so comfortably together on her couch. She wasn't sure what had happened the night before she could see a happiness around them both that she was envious of. The look of two people finding that they might be in love. She tore her eyes off of them and looked into the questioning faces of her friends.

"How are you feeling Anya?" she asked, knowing the girl had just been released from the hospital that morning.

"Like shit." Anya said bluntly before smiling softly at the girl, "But I'm glad to be out."

"You were only there a few days" Xander said, his tone teasing.

"Are they always like this?" Faith asked, her nose scrunching up.

"Sickening isn't it?" Willow said dryly.

"HEY!" Xander said.

"They usually argue" Willow said, her smile dying a bit as she remembered the trouble her friends had been through the last few weeks. "And then make up."

"I hate to interrupt," Buffy said, her eyes still on Faith sitting against Angel. "But why are they here?"

Faith looked at Willow and then at Buffy. "I came here to apologize. Angel is helping me..."

"She's trying to make amends" Angel said, his voice cautious, his arm around Faith protectively just in case Buffy tried something. He wondered when he had finally let Buffy go. He had, he realized. Sitting opposite her, he was glad that she seemed happy. As happy as he was.

"Really?" Buffy said, her gaze measuring as she looked at her former love and her former enemy. She saw the way Angel was looking at Faith. It was the way he used to look at her. She squeezed Riley's hand, feeling nothing but happiness for her ex-lover. She had moved on. It was time he did too. If it turned out to be Faith, well, she hoped he wasn't making a mistake. She settled her eyes onto Faith's, "That might take awhile."

Faith nodded, tension radiating from her. "I know."

Buffy smiled slightly, "Fine. Wills, why are we here?"

Willow saw Faith relax and smiled proudly at Buffy. She was surprised her friend had dealt so well with Faith. "I think someone put a curse or spell on us."

"What?" Xander said, his face curious.

"I agree with Xander. What?" Giles echoed, looking intently at the redhead.

"Well, let me explain" Willow said softly, taking a deep breath.

Willow took a deep breath, suddenly wishing she had Spike's arms around her for comfort during this time. But, he wasn't with her. He had run away rather than love her. What was so awful about her that he couldn't love her? She began to speak, "I think someone cursed us."

"You already said that" Buffy said, waiting.

"Why? What curse?" Riley asked.

"Think about it" Willow said. She let out her breath when she felt Faith's hand on hers squeezing it in support. She smiled softly, realizing how odd it was that her old enemy was now the one offering her the needed lifeline. "These last few weeks. We're falling apart."

"I don't get it." Xander said.

Anya studied Willow's face, thinking over the last few weeks. "I can see where we've all had some problems, but I don't see it as a curse."

"All of us have been facing our worst fears!" Willow said, wishing she could smack them all for their obtuse stupidity.

"No" Buffy said, shaking her head. She suddenly looked thoughtful. "My god..."

"Me and my dad" Xander said softly, looking confused. "It wasn't really me, it was some curse?"

"I don't know" Willow said. "It makes sense...Doesn't it?"

"It does. I can't believe none of us noticed something weird before" Giles said.

"So...the doctor was right. This whole thing is psychological?" Buffy said, wondering who would curse them like that.

"It might not be a curse" Angel said softly. They looked at him and he continued, "It could just be a spell. It might not even be malicious..."

"Anya almost died." Xander said, his tone warning.

"Faith lost her eyesight" Angel said, his own tone warning.

"Oh" Xander sat back, finally noticing the way Angel was protectively holding Faith. Deadboy had a thing for the other slayer. He glanced at Buffy to see if she had noticed. She had. And she looked ok with it.

"What do you mean she lost it? When did it come back?" Riley asked, wondering how she had managed to get better.

"Last night" Faith said. "But just gradually. It's still a bit blurry around the edges."

"How?" Giles asked.

"I don't know. It just happened" Faith said.

"So, your theory is that some unknown person put a spell on us to make our fears come true..." Anya said, seeing the logic behind that. "But...why? And how?"

"I don't know. I don't have any idea" Willow said, sighing.

"Well, together we can figure something out" Buffy said.

"Wait...Anya and I are fine now. It's been several days since either of us have had a problem" Xander said.

"And now Faith's problem is over too" Riley pointed out.

"I don't get it." Giles said.

"And you don't seem affected. Why not? Who was cursed or spelled or whatever" Buffy said.

"I was" Willow said softly. "My fear did start to come true."

"Spike?" Faith asked quietly.

Willow shook her head, noticing the looks on the other's faces at Spike's name. "No...it wasn't that. It was something else. I didn't even realize it."

"Spike? He's in this too?" Riley asked.

"Yes" Angel acknowledged.

"We don't know." Willow said, casting a warning glance at Angel.

"Sounds like we don't know anything" Riley said.

"We don't...but maybe now we can find some answers" Buffy said. "I guess we should decide what fear it is that each of us had."

"Being human" Anya said swiftly.

Xander shrugged, "I think we know mine. Becoming that ass hole."

"Not being in control" Riley said softly.

"Losing my knowledge" Giles said, making a face.

"Depending on someone" Faith spoke hers roughly.

"Not being able to save the people I love" Buffy replied to her own question.

"Not being needed" Willow said, sighing.

They nodded as they finished, surprised by some of the other's fears. Suddenly, a soft voice spoke up, "Falling in love." Spike said from the doorway, his eyes on Willow's face.

Willow couldn't take her eyes off of Spike. She watched as he stepped into the room, his eyes burning into hers. She whispered, "What did you just say?"

Spike smiled slightly, "You just want to make me repeat it don't you luv?"

"I think we missed something" Buffy said, leaning over and speaking softly to Riley.

"Looks that way" he echoed softly.

"Spike...don't play with me" Willow said, her voice weary.

"Ah, but, pet...I so love to play" he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Blondie" Faith warned, her eyes looking at a stake sitting on a nearby table.

Spike sighed, fear in his eyes as he looked around the room. "Fuck it." He ran a hand through his hair and looked lost as he stared at Willow. "I tried, pet. Really did. I didn't want to fall in love with you. I'm not a nice guy. You should be with some normal honest fellow...hell, someone living. Not me."

Willow watched his movements and listened to his words. She sat up straighter, finally making the connection. "Oh my god...I get it."

"What?" Spike asked.

"Face it Spike. It's the only way out" Willow said.

"You're losing me, Red. I'm trying to tell you that I love you and you are so not here right now" Spike said. He saw her smile and stopped.

"Say it again." She urged, tears in her eyes.

He smiled wryly, "I am in love with you, Willow. That good?"

She nodded, standing and going into his arms. She kissed him deeply, not caring who was watching. He had broken the spell on himself.

She heard Anya remark dryly. "And they called me and Xander mushy? I feel like I'm watching some Hallmark movie."

"Or one of those Lifetime films" Faith said, blushing slightly as they looked at her. She shrugged, "What? They have some good stuff once in awhile..."

"Ahem" Giles cleared his throat, cleaning his glasses. He didn't really think he could watch Spike and Willow devour each other at that moment in time.

"Yo, Blondie!" Faith called out. She stood and smacked Spike on the back of his head. He pulled back from Willow with a low growl. Faith smirked at both her friends. "She has to breathe you know? Besides, we're doing heavy-duty research mode here. You want to help?"

"Don't hit me again, slayer" Spike warned, his arm tight around Willow as they sat down to face the amused looks from the others. "What do we do now?"

Willow grinned sheepishly at Buffy. Buffy just laughed and said, "Girl, we have some catching up to do I think."

"Yeah" Willow agreed, happiness flooding her at Spike's proclamation. Suddenly, she said, "Ooo ooo ooo...I got it!"

"Got what?" Spike asked, rolling his eyes at the way the others were looking at him. He had turned into his damn grandsire. Just his luck. Become a poof at his tender age.

Willow looked at her friends. "Xander, Anya, Faith, Spike and I have undone the spell on us. It is just over you three now."

"What?" Riley asked.

"I mean...we never even realized it." Willow said. "It made our worst fear come true, guys. Think about it. When did you start feeling better Xan?"

"After I almost lost Anya" Xander said softly. "I couldn't be him around her. I loved her too much."

Willow smiled, "Exactly!"

Buffy waved her hand, "Uh, me here. Confused."

"Anya, what about you?" Willow asked.

Anya thought about it, "When I was dying...I heard Xander and knew I couldn't leave him. I decided even the pain of being human was worth it for him."

"Faith?"

"Last night, when I heard the fight between you and Spike...I knew you needed me. That and Angel coming for me...well, I got up to help you and that's when my sight started coming back."

"With me, it was off and on throughout the last few weeks. It really came through after I found Faith. She was pushing me away but I wouldn't let her. Soon after that, it was repeated with Xander." Willow remembered, "But, these last few weeks you all have pushed. I refused to go...I love you all too much to not try to help."

"Faced your fears...your inner demons" Spike said, finally understanding. "Fear and love."

"So, you're saying that we need to face our fears and the spell will be over?" Buffy asked.

"That doesn't sound like much of a spell" Riley remarked.

"I think Riley has slowly been defeating his this entire time" Willow said. "He loves Buffy...he's been making decisions that he knows will make her happy."

"She's right" Riley said. He smiled slightly, "Damn, this entire time it was some spell. I thought I was going crazy."

"Welcome to life as a slayerette" Xander said dryly.

""Hey, boy. I'm not some silly slayerette" Spike said, his eyes flashing yellow.

"Nah...you're just in love with one" Xander taunted. He laughed as Spike glared at him.

"Buffy, you, Riley and Giles need to face your fear. If you don't, who knows what might happen." Faith said.

"Easier than it sounds" Buffy said, feeling so weak.

"I don't quite know how to face it, children" Giles said, wishing he did.

Willow remembered Spike's words. She smiled at him, kissing him suddenly. "You said it, Spike. Fear and love. Love defeats the fear. You guys can face your fears out of love. Either romantic or just friendship."

"Is it that easy?" Buffy asked.

"Some spell...what did anyone hope to accomplish?"

"Well, if we hadn't realize what was going on, we would have slowly let our fear kill us" Anya said.

"Who?" Giles asked.

Willow smiled at him, "Why don't you do some research? See if you can find the spell?"

"Willow. I can't read" Giles started to say. Seeing them all look at him, he sighed, "Fine. I'll see what I can do."

"Let's go patrol, Buffy. I can get in danger and you can save me" Riley suggested.

"Can I vote that you let him die?" Spike asked eagerly.

"Dustball, hush" Buffy warned, struggling to stand.

"Maybe we should go with them...just in case?" Faith said to Angel.

"Good idea" Angel answered, standing. He looked at Willow and smiled, "We'll be back soon. Maybe you can find some answers."

"I don't even care who did it" Willow said. "They lost. We won. We faced our fears. We survived."

"Pet, we need to talk" Spike said softly, ushering her upstairs after everyone had left. She followed him, wondering what he had to say.

**********

Buffy walked beside Angel, moving slowly. "So, you and Faith?"

He grinned, "Who knew?"

Buffy laughed, "Does she make you happy?"

"Yes, strangely she does" Angel said, smiling as he watched the brunette spar playfully with Riley. "What about you and the ken doll?"

"Angel" Buffy said, laughing. "Riley is good for me. He does love me. I love him too. He's not usually so...dippy. It's the spell, thank god. I was worried for a bit there."

"I'm glad he loves you" Angel said, sharing a smile. "I've always wanted your happiness Buffy."

Buffy smiled and said, "So, Willow and Spike huh? When did that one happen?"

"Day before yesterday I guess. They fought last night. He came back today with his tail between his legs. Smart boy."

"He better not hurt her" Buffy said.

Angel shook his head, "He won't. William has always wanted to be loved. When Dru turned him....it hurt a lot that he had to share with me."

"Dru?" Buffy said. "I thought he was yours."

Angel laughed, "No. Angelus rarely sired males as children. Too much of a threat. But, in the most important ways, he is mine. Dru was never equipped to actually be a sire. She just thought he was pretty and wanted to keep him."

"Spike pretty? Nah...don't see it" Buffy said, still surprised over Angel's admission.

"Dru loved him. As much as a child would love a favorite toy. I love him as a childe. I think Dru cared more about him than he even realized. I know Angelus did." Angel remembered.

Buffy started to answer when she heard Riley scream. She looked over and saw him fighting a couple of vampires. "Buffy. Help. This is serious....get that cute little slayer ass over here and kick some vampire butt."

Buffy smiled fondly at her lover before looking at Angel and Faith who had come up behind him. "He could take them but he wants me to face my fear."

Suddenly, another yelp was heard, "BUFFY! Get over here!"

"Or maybe not" Buffy said, laughing as she began to move faster to help him. She felt her energy start to flow as she began to fight.

"Sunnyhell....and you made me come back" Faith said, looking pointedly at Angel.

"What?" he said innocently. "At least you made amends...and you got me. Not a bad deal, I'd say."

She kissed him softly, before turning to watch Buffy and Riley fight. "Can we stay a few more days?"

"What? In Sunnyhell?" he reminded her with a smirk.

She just glared at him before rolling her eyes. "We're staying. At least until we know everyone is ok."

"Whatever you say, Faith" Angel agreed, grimacing as Riley took a hit to the gut.

**********

Willow ran her hand over Spike's chest, watching the way his eyes changed color as passion touched them. She smiled, "Afternoon, love."

Spike caught her hand and brought her against him. "Teasing wench."

Willow laughed, "Am not."

Spike couldn't believe that she had accepted him so easily. Flaws and all. He didn't deserve her love, but he wasn't an idiot. He was going to take it until she realized her mistake. Maybe she never would. He could only hope. "Are too." he said, kissing her.

The two had talked late into the night after the others had left. Many of their mutual fears had been discussed and faced. Both had finally fallen into each other's arms after Faith and Angel had returned to report that the other three were starting on the road to recovery. They hadn't left the bed since. Willow looked at him, "Who do you think put that spell on the gang and why?"

Spike shrugged, "I don't really give a fuck. It got me closer to you. I'd say they did a damn good job."

"It does appear to not have been done maliciously...I just don't get it." Willow said.

"You think too much, pet" Spike said, smiling at her.

"Just shut up" Willow said, moving into his arms. "Kiss me, Spike."

"Gladly" he replied, capturing her mouth.

********************

The demon sat down with a sigh. He looked at his lover and smiled. "Done."

"Really? It worked?"

"Did you doubt me?" he asked.

"Wellll, it did take quite a bit longer than you said."

"Stupid humans. That's why. No one died. In fact, they are all so annoyingly happy I could puke" he said making a face.

A twinkle of laughter, "You did well, my sweet. My William? He's in love?"

"Aye. With the redheaded lass that figured it all out" Haskin said.

"Goodie. A lovely beauty, she is. Innocent but smart. A good match for my baby" Drusilla said, smiling at her lover.

"Since Spike has finally found love, can we go back to Rio now?" Haskin asked.

Drusilla nodded, "Yes my love. I told you before. I just wanted him to find someone to love. My Angel did also. A nasty old slayer, but this one is strong. Not like that smelly one. I do almost wish she had failed the spell" Dru said wistfully. "But, my William seems fond of her for some odd reason. Now, that little group should be more powerful...less fearful. He shall be quite safe with them."

"You have taken very good care of him, Drusilla" Haskin said, holding out his hand to his enchantress. "Even if he will never realize it was you that strengthened their bond."

Dru smiled softly, "Oh he knows....he might not acknowledge it now, but he knows. Mummy always takes care of her loveys."

"Shall we head to Rio for Carnivale or would you prefer Cancun?" Haskin asked, walking to the car with her.

"Rio I think" Dru said. She sat down in the car, looking out the window at the streets of Sunnydale. Her boy was in love. She could rest easy with her new love knowing he had someone to take care of him now. The redhead was a good match for him. Maybe she would meet up with them both again sometime. In the future. She'd wait awhile. Give time for old wounds to heal. Maybe in another fifty years she'd look them up. She smiled at Haskin as he drove away. The spell she had found had worked wonders. She still rather resented helping a slayer, but for her William, she would do anything. She took Haskin's hand and looked out the window at the stars. They were peaceful tonight. Finally she had made things right.


THE END