Inell's Fanfiction Archive

I can't believe this. I am over 200 years old, yet I am acting like a school boy. I don't know what to feel right now. I love Spike and Willow. I know they love me. Yet, it is awkward. It has been two nights since we got Willow back. That night was fantastic. It was as though we could all read each other's minds. We have shared a bed since, each night as sensational.

Spike and I are doing well. We have gone out with Buffy to hunt the latest bad guys. We talk. Spike is even attempting to teach me how to play that damn playstation. And here I thought I was the one with such patience and maturity. I hate that damn thing. I'm tempted to toss it outside into the trash.

Willow is the problem. Spike is very possessive. He seems to enjoy making me know that I am her secondary mate. He has scared her away from me. She and I have not been completely alone since before she left. Even during her "punishment", he was sitting there watching. After she and I decided to punish him, it seemed to make him realize he was actually sharing her now. Spike has never been good at sharing. I wonder if he felt this lost every time I played with Drusilla. If he did, I can understand his hatred of me. I hate this. I am jealous of my childe, whom I love, because he has free access to Willow, whom I also love. Willow is scared to make him mad. I assume she has seen his anger before. No, she isn't scared of him. She just seems to want things to remain the same. He would never harm her, and she knows this. I guess I shouldn't say that Spike is being a selfish bastard.. If I were Willow's primary mate, my behaviour would probably be even more obsessive. I don't think I could have shared, even with Spike. I would have killed him, eliminating the problem. Yesterday, he told me that I may have Willow's body, her trust, and even her love, but to remember that HE had her heart, her soul, and her future. It is hard to accept this. I know I will. It will take time. He has amazingly allowed me in their lives. I plan to stay there for a few hundred years at least. I do know that he is going to have leave Willow and I alone sometime. I plan to take advantage of it, when it happens. Even if I have to make it happen. As I told her, I want her to scream out my name. Think only of me, even if it is only for a short time. Sharing is great, but possession is even better.