Inell's Fanfiction Archive

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Angel stumbled from his bed, blindly racing towards the room next door. He opened the door and saw Spike sitting on the edge of his bed. Red tears were cascading down his face. He was slowly rocking back and forth on the bed, staring off into the distance. In his left hand, Angel saw a piece of white paper.

"What happened? Spike?"

His childe looked at him. His eyes were filled with pain. "She's gone...." he whispered.

Angel felt apprehension run through him. "Willow?" he asked, fearing the answer.

Spike held out the paper. Angel took it, cursing his shaking hand. There, written in Willow's neat precise handwriting, were these words:

Spike

I love you too much to stay and interfere in your happiness. I know you and Angel were together tonight. I know you didn't tell me because you didn't want to hurt me. It hurt me worse to have you lie. We promised to never lie to each other. I had a dream that convinced me of what I had to do. In it, you chose Angel. I was left alone. I could see the pain in your eyes when you were forced to make that decision. I WILL NOT make you go through that in reality. I have to leave. I need time to think. I don't know what to do. It hurts. I hurt. I thought I could be worldly and share you with him, but I can't. I guess I am still just a stupid little girl. I can't love you knowing you love him more....or thinking that you would rather be with him when you are with me. I'm sorry. I just can't. I hope you understand. I am going somewhere safe, so don't worry. I will be back after Spring Break. I guess I'll get my stuff then. I'll come when you are both out, if you don't mind. I can't see you. I would like to say that I hope we could be friends, but I know I can't do that. It would hurt too much. I'll do my best to avoid you both. Tell Angel that I do not blame him. It is neither of yours fault. You can't stop love. It just happens. I wish you both so much happiness. I love you both. Spike, I wish that I could be part of your life. You will always be in my heart. Please, never forget me.

Forever yours......Willow

Angel saw the marks on the paper where her tears had fallen. He looked at Spike. "We have to find her. Show her that she belongs here, with us. Do you know where she could be?"

Spike nodded. "Buffy, I'd guess." He took hold of Angel's hand. "We have to find her. I can't be here without her...she's my life. Please?"

Angel pulled his crying childe into his arms. (What have I done?) "We WILL find her Spike. She will be with us, where she belongs."

He heard a loud pounding on the front door. Spike looked up, hope in his eyes. "Do you think its her?"

"I don't know."

Angel went to the door and started to open it. He found himself forcefully pushed back into the room.

"What the hell did you do to Willow? Where is she?"

Angel looked at Spike. "I'd say this marks Buffy off the list." Buffy stopped and looked at Spike. She noticed his dishevelled appearance and the traces of red on his face. (He was crying...she thought in amazement.)

"Spike, what happened?"

Spike looked at the slayer. "How much do you know? How did you know she was gone?"

Buffy ran a hand through her blonde hair. "She called me in the middle of the night, crying. She said she needed to get away. She had to think. She couldn't come to me because it would be the first place you guys would look. She said not to worry, that she would be safe. She told me she'd explain after she got home. She was so upset. She scared me. I thought I'd give her a chance to calm down. I didn't know if she would actually leave. When I got here and didn't see her car, I freaked. What happened?"

Spike handed her the letter. "I know Willow wouldn't mind if you read this. I think this explains everything."

Buffy read the letter. She looked up to see Angel leaning against the top of the couch comforting Spike. "You two....um..." she trailed off a bit embarrassed.

Spike smiled softly "Yeah."

Buffy smiled. "That's cool." She then frowned. "Where does that leave Willow?"

"I love Willow. If I had to choose, she has my heart. She didn't wait for me to explain that. She just left."

"Buffy, I love Willow too. I told you this when I came back. Spike and I used to be involved. There were a few times that we shared the same woman. Dru being one you know. We had planned to slowly bring Willow into the relationship."

"So, you two fuck and leave Willow to worry about the fact that she believes no one wants her? No wonder she left. Why weren't you honest about your intentions Spike? My God, she LOVES you. The hell you put her through...you BOTH put her through. I should stake your sorry asses now and save her the heartache of living with you both for eternity."

Spike and Angel looked at her as she finished her tirade. "Eternity, Pet? Does this mean you'll help us find her?"

"Yes Blondie. I'll help. I know she was just freaked out. She and I have talked about this before. She always thought you would be HONEST with her. She even confessed to me that she wouldn't mind playing with you both. She feels very betrayed right now. I wonder if she'd be better off with us just letting her have time."

"NO! I need to talk to her. I need to make her understand that she is always going to be part of me. I have to convince her Slayer. The more time away, the more damage will be done. She is so insecure about things like this."

"Buffy, do you have any idea where she might go?" Angel asked.

Buffy frowned, thinking. "The only places I can think of are Giles, Xander or Oz. If she plans on being gone for two weeks, it has to be one of them. Of course, she does have some friends that I don't know very well. I don't think she's go to one of them though. Do you want to call the guys?"

Angel looked at Spike. "No. She could be there with one of them and we'd never know. Let's go find her."

The three friends set out to look for Willow.

**********

"OK. She's not with Giles. Oz isn't home, or at least he didn't answer his door. Xander said he hasn't seen her." Angel ticked each choice off on his left hand. "Where does that leave us?"

"Wait! Xander denied it but he sure wouldn't let us come inside. He could have been hiding her." Buffy said suspiciously.

"She's not with the moron. I didn't smell her at the Wolf's place either."

"Well, hell....I don't know where she could be. She might have gone somewhere with Oz. Wait, you can smell her?"

"She's my mate. I know her scent. She wasn't there."

"That's so romantic and kind of eeww."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Buffy, are you sure you don't know any of her college friends?"

"Well, there is some girl named Maggie that is in her Bio class. Also, I remember the names Darcy, Heather, Charity and Callie. I don't know them though. They are just people she talks to at school. Maybe we should go home and think about it. Tomorrow, I'll catch Xander and make sure he wasn't hiding something. I'm sure Oz will be back by then too. She has to be with one of them. Oh, I'll check my mom's house. I can't believe I forgot her. Did either of you call Willow's old house? Her parents are out of town, as usual, but she still has a key."

"No. I can't believe I forgot that. We can check there on the way home. Its almost sunrise. We'd better get going."

"Sure. I'll come by tomorrow after talking to the guys. OK? If you hear from her, page me immediately."

"Will do Slayer. Oh...and thanks."

Buffy smiled at the blonde vampire. "That killed you didn't it?"

"For Willow, it was worth it." Spike said laughing.

Angel and Spike checked Willow's childhood home but didn't see any lights on. Neither of them could sense her inside. Frowning, they slowly walked back to the apartment. On the way, Angel showed Spike the house that he had bought earlier that afternoon.

"She'll love it. When she comes back, maybe we can all ready be moved in. Someplace new for her." Spike said.

"Good idea."

"Peaches, do you think we'll find her?"

Angel thought about it. "Well, if she is determined to stay hidden, it may be difficult. She knows how we all work and think. But, we have Buffy, which is a benefit. We might just get lucky."

Spike looked into the darkness. "We have to keep trying."

**********

Willow had been gone for three days. Spike felt as though he were going crazy. No one had ever made him feel like this before. They had discovered that Xander had been telling the truth. He was now as worried as the rest of them. Oz hadn't seen her either. They had helped the men move into their new house. Buffy had even gone furniture shopping with them, picking out things she knew Willow would like. Angel and Spike were now waiting for their daily report from Buffy.

"OK. I ran into this girl Darly that is in our Psych class. She said she saw Willow three days ago at the gas station. Darly told me that they spoke a bit. Willow was upset about something, she'd been crying. Darly told her to have a good spring break and asked where she was going." Buffy pause, taking her time. They deserved it after what they'd done to Willow.

"Bloody hell. Where did Willow say she was going?"

"LA." Buffy stated calmly.

"LA? Why the hell would she go to LA? That Darly chit must have heard her wrong. Where is she? Maybe a little persuasion on my part will make her remember."

His rant was stopped when Angel started laughing. "Oh Geez...I can't believe I was so stupid. She almost got away. We were so stupid."

Buffy looked at Angel. "Do you know something?"

"What's so funny mate? Who does she know in LA?"

Angel looked at them smiling. "Cordelia."

**********

Willow smiled at the brunette across from her. "Cordy...."

"Yeah Willow?"

"Go fish..."

"FUCK! I hate this game. I quit." She threw her cards on the table.

Willow started to laugh. "You are such a poor loser. My Goddess, you're worse than Xander when he loses a game to Spike." Her laughter slowly stopped, her eyes filling with pain.

Cordy reached over and took her hand. Over the last few days, their tentative friendship had strengthened. Cordelia actually found herself growing very fond of the shy redhead. "So...how is Xander?"

Willow smiled and squeezed her hand. "He is good. He dates all these airheads and wonders why he can't find "the one" as he refers to her."

"Oh..." Cordelia said in a quiet voice.

"Yeah...he's such an idiot. I don't know how often I've told him he all ready found her. He was just stupid enough to let her go to LA."

Cordy looked at Willow and smiled. "Ya think?"

"I know. He misses you. He even used to ask Buffy how Deadboy was just in hopes of hearing about you."

"Wow. Well, I think about him too...once in awhile."

Willow just laughed. "Goddess, this is nice. Just sitting here and relaxing. I'm so glad you let me stay with you. I feel as though I've discovered a great friend."

"Me too. You are much cooler than I wanted to believe." Cordelia stared into space for a few moments, lost in thought. "So, Willow, will you help me decorate my apartment?

Willow looked around her. "Umm....Cor...it is decorated."

"Not this one. The one I get when I go back to Sunnydale."

"WHAT? I thought you hated Sunnyhell?"

Cordelia looked at her new friend. "I thought I did. I'm not stupid Willow. I've tried this acting thing and it didn't work. I so do not want to be one of those girls that ends up on the streets or doing commercials. I miss home. Angel will be there. You will be there. "

"Xander will be there...."Willow supplied.

Cordy smiled. "Xander will be there. I'll have friends...and a life....and people that care."

Willow went to the brunette and gave her a hug. "This is great. You can go back with me next week. Can you get away that fast? Oh...oh...oh....do you need a roommate? I'm sort of homeless right now."

"Willow....if you get back to Sunnydale and indeed not have somewhere to stay, I'd love to share a place with you." (I won't be counting on that though....You'll look into Spike's blue eyes and Angel's puppy dog gaze and be in their arms and bed before you can get out of the car.....It had been six days, and Cordelia knew how much the hacker was missing her lover) She smiled. " So, what do you want to do now?"

"Let's get out and explore. I'm feeling absolutely festive right now."

"Oh Goodie....Can I do your hair? Oh, and I have the perfect dress you can borrow. The top will be a bit loose, but hey, you can let it all hang out."

"No. Nothing will be hanging out thank you very much...."

The girls went into the bedroom to get changed, giggling and discussing the move as they went.

Two hours later, they left Cordelia's apartment ready to have some fun.

* * * * *

"What the bloody hell does she think she's wearing?" Spike started to get out of the car. Angel grabbed his wrist, keeping him firmly in place.

"Spike, we have a plan. This plan does not require you getting out of the car and announcing our presence to the world. We found her. Be patient. I know it is very hard for you, but think about it. Tonight, she will be yours...ours."

Spike's gaze followed his mate as she and the bimbo walked down the street laughing. "Patience...." he whispered.