Inell's Fanfiction Archive

It’s too hot. Steve becomes aware of that before he’s fully awake. The sheet is sticking to his legs, and he can’t kick it away because of the damp material clinging to his skin. The second thing he realizes as he starts to wake up is that there’s an unusual source of heat pressed against his back. That’s where all the warmth is coming from. Steve’s eyes flash open as he sucks in a breath of air.

This isn’t his room.

Memories quickly flash through his mind, and his ‘fight or flight’ response calms down. Clint. It is Clint pressed up behind him feeling like a living furnace. He remembers yesterday. The zoo and the picnic and the necking that was beyond anything he’d expected it to be. It’s one thing to think about what it might feel like to touch someone or be touched, but it’s definitely something else entirely to experience it and just get so caught up in the need-want-have now that he lost control.

Steve doesn’t really understand how people can do that with strangers. Sure, there’s release because it’s physical and actions have reactions where the body’s concerned, but he felt vulnerable yesterday. He was giving himself to Clint, trusting Clint to be there to catch him, in a way, and he knows there’s no way he’d ever want to lose control like that with someone he doesn’t even know. Maybe it’s about different things to different people, he decides, shifting slightly as he tries to push the damp cotton sheet down his legs.

They hadn’t really intended to share a bed last night. After the first time, when they got carried away and broke some of those ridiculous rules Clint came up with, they’d just relaxed while Steve sketched and Clint told him random stories about various things. There had been a second necking encounter after Steve had to stop sketching and had to start touching. Separate showers and a change of clothes had followed before they’d grabbed some food from the kitchen and eaten it curled up on Clint’s sofa while watching some old Cary Grant movies. They usually watch movies in one of the three entertainment slash living areas that Tony created for the team, but they’d been selfish last night and had wanted time alone. The third necking encounter had led to another separate shower and changing into their sleeping clothes before lying down together on Clint’s bed.

Steve’s intentions had been to pet Clint and maybe sneak some more kisses before finally returning to his own bed. Best intentions and all that, it seems, because he feels like he’s been asleep for hours, and Clint’s made him the little spoon at some point during the night. He can feel the grin on his lips and knows it probably looks goofy and crooked if he could see himself in a mirror, but he can’t help it. They kept their clothes on and never actually touched bare skin below the belt, but, still, that’s sex. He’s actually had sex now. There were three orgasms not caused by his own hand.

Not surprisingly, he doesn’t feel all that different. It’s not like he’s expected having sex to make him change in any particular way, but it’s always been this mystifying and unknown thing that other people talked about doing but he could only think about in theory. Bucky had told him that it was fun, but messy and awkward sometimes. Steve knew about the messy, especially after ruining two pairs of underwear and getting a strain on his jeans, but he doesn’t feel awkward. If anything, he wants more. He wants some of the things he heard the Commandos talk about back in the day, and he wants things he saw doing research with JARVIS about men having sex with men. With Clint, he just wants it all.

Steve turns his head into the pillow and groans, the sound muffled by the padding. It isn’t like he’s been unaware of what he feels or what he could feel. It might have started as a crush and broadened to include physical attraction, but he’s not stupid. Inexperienced sure, but not stupid. The affection and desire he feels for Clint are evolving into something more. Something that has him thinking about years together, that has him wanting to wake up every morning with Clint plastered to his back no matter how much heat they both give off, that has him wanting to share his life with Clint until there’s no life left to share. He’s never been in love before, though Peggy came very close, but he knows this is what it must feel like. He’s falling, whether Clint’s ready to hear it or not.

Now that he’s awake, Steve considers waking Clint up with more necking. The shorts he’s wearing don’t do anything to hide his own arousal, after all, and he can feel Clint’s erection pressed against his butt. That would be taking advantage, though, especially when he’s aware of Clint’s decision that they go slow and take their time. Steve respects that, even if he’s ready to move faster and get to the naked parts. From what Clint’s told him about his past with sex, it makes sense that he wants this to be slow and real and not just about sex. Steve understands, and he’s trying to compromise when all he wants is to lock themselves in the room for a few days and try everything he’s ever wanted to try sexually.

If he doesn’t get out of this bed, he’s not going to be held accountable for his actions, which means it’s time to get out of bed. Clint makes a snuffling noise behind him when he moves, and Steve stills, not wanting to wake him up. He knows Clint doesn’t sleep well or nearly enough, so he doesn’t want to disturb what seems to be a good sleep. He carefully eases himself out of Clint’s grip and moves his pillow to replace him. Clint makes a noise and his face crunches up before he pulls the pillow against him and sighs softly.

Steve grabs his sketchbook and licks the tip of his pencil before he hastily draws Clint because he knows there’s no way he can’t not capture this on paper. There’s a mark on his neck, swollen and purple from where Steve sucked on it last night during the third necking incident, and he likes seeing that mark on Clint, which he isn’t sure is a good thing or a bad thing. He hopes there aren’t many bruises on him, though, because he doesn’t want to hurt Clint, but he knows his strength gets away from him sometimes and he squeezes too hard.

Clint looks younger when he’s asleep, more relaxed and peaceful, and Steve feels a tightening in his belly as he watches him sleep. When he realizes he’s moving into potentially creepy territory, he puts the sketchbook down and goes to the bathroom. He takes care of his morning problem standing over the toilet and thinking about how Clint tastes and feels. It doesn’t take long. Once he’s finished, he washes his hands and squirts toothpaste on his finger, brushing his teeth that way for now.

Breakfast in bed is a good way to start the day, he decides, so he quietly writes out a quick note explaining that he went to the kitchen and will be back, just in case Clint wakes up to find him gone and worries that he’s freaked out or something. Once that’s done, he carefully sneaks out without disturbing Clint’s sleep and heads down to the kitchen. It’s still early enough that their floors are quiet, so he’s surprised to walk into the kitchen and see Pepper sitting on the table reading a newspaper and eating a bagel.

“Good morning, Steve.” Pepper raises a brow as she looks at him, which makes him unconsciously reach up to try to get his hair a little less tousled.

“Morning, Pepper.” He gives up on the hair because he knows it is a bad case of bedhead that no amount of brushing with his fingers will fix. When she looks him over, he feels a flush spreading across his cheeks because it’s not like he can just ignore Tony’s proclamation the other day that he and Clint are Pepper’s Free Pass, whatever that exactly means. He’s got a pretty good idea and knows it’s just them joking, but it’s still a little awkward to be wearing an old pair of gym shorts and a tank top while she’s looking him over like he’s dessert. It’s not uncomfortable in the way Natasha made him feel weeks ago in the gym, but still.

“I’m not planning to bite you, so you can relax.” Pepper sounds amused. “You’re an attractive man, and there’s no harm in appreciating that as one might admire a fine work of art.”

“I’m relaxed.” Steve rolls his eyes when she chuckles softly. “Fine. It’s a little weird, but I guess I’m never going to get used to being looked at like that.”

“And that’s one reason you’ll continue to draw admiring stares. Your lack of ego is refreshing,” Pepper says. “Now, tell me, are you unaware of the finger shaped bruises on your biceps or are you simply comfortable with displaying them? If it’s the latter, I applaud you for being confident and support you fully. However, if it’s the former, you might wish to wear sleeves until such a time you’re prepared to be interrogated by the team and to listen to Tony either give sexual advice or make inappropriate jokes.” She smiles slightly. “Knowing Tony, I’d say we’re safe in guessing a combination of the two.”

Steve feels the heat spread quickly across his face as he looks down at his arms. Twisting them, he can see the faint bruises that Clint must have left and he even notices a couple of scratches on his shoulder. His lips twist into a smile as he traces one of the bruises before he glances up at Pepper. “Is it…would it be odd if I were comfortable with them?”

“Were they gained during consensual physical activity with the partner of your choice?”

“Yes. There was no forcing or anything like that, Pepper.”

“Then I don’t think it’s odd that two strong men happen to be a little rough during sex. If anything, I’d say it’s more common than not.”

“And the, uh, feeling. I mean. Hell, I don’t know what I mean.” Steve rubs his hand over his face and leans back against the counter. “I like them?”

Pepper blinks and nods slowly. “Do you like them in a manner that suggests you enjoy inflicting pain to cause them or to have pain inflicted upon you?”

“No. No pain.” Steve shakes his head. “I’ve heard about that, it isn’t some modern thing, enjoying sex that way, but it’s not for me.”

“So you like them because it’s visual evidence of what you and Clint shared together?” Pepper smiles gently before she begins to unbutton her blouse. Steve’s eyes widen and he starts to protest but doesn’t get a chance before she’s pointing to what looks to be a bite mark above the curve of her breast. He tries not to stare at her breasts, even though they’re right there, but he does look at the bite mark. “Tony gets rough sometimes, and I certainly don’t protest any more than he does when I leave marks on him. Some things just happen when you’re having sex, Steve. There’s no shame in liking the remaining marks or finding it arousing to see them on your partner. However, if you find yourself focusing only on those marks or feeling a need to make them all the time, then you and Clint would need to talk about it.”

“I, um, could you, uh.” He motions to her open blouse, which makes her laugh. Fortunately, she buttons it again and simply gives him an affectionate look. “I don’t think I’m obsessed with them or anything weird. I just like seeing them.”

“The key to a successful relationship is communication. You have to make the effort to talk to Clint about things you discover you enjoy and to tell him if there’s something you don’t enjoy. You also need to make it clear that you expect the same from him.” Pepper takes a sip of her coffee. “It doesn’t matter how experienced you are, or aren’t, communication is key. A healthy sex life often includes experimentation, and a new relationship usually includes testing boundaries and finding comfort zones together. It’s perfectly fine that you like to see Clint’s marks on you, just as it would be fine if it wasn’t something you liked to see.”

“Right. Okay. Communication.” Steve nods even as he rubs the back of his neck. It’s more than a little strange to be standing in the kitchen in his pajamas talking to Pepper about his sex life. To actually have a sex life. He starts to grin when thinking about it, ducking his head as he looks at bare feet and wiggles his toes. “Thanks for the advice. I really, really don’t want to mess this up.”

The sound of heels tapping against wood causes him to look up, and he sees Pepper walking over to him. “Anytime.” She reaches up to pat the top of his head. “You’re a good man, Steve Rogers, and Clint’s good for you. You’ll be fine. Relationships are hard work if you want them to be successful, but I don’t think either of you are scared of putting in the effort. You’re not going to mess it up.” She brushes a kiss against his cheek and smiles. “And if you two ever decide to explore exhibitionism, do be sure to let me know. That’s something I’d hate to miss.” She winks at him before putting her coffee cup in the sink and grabbing a briefcase. “I’m off to work now. Have a good day, Steve. We expect you both at dinner tonight, since you missed last night.”

“Yes, Pepper.” Steve isn’t entirely sure what exhibitionism is, but he has a pretty good feeling that it’s something sexual. There are times when he doesn’t get Tony and Pepper’s relationship but, at times like this, it makes perfect sense. Shaking his head, he focuses on breakfast and decides to make French toast and bacon. If he’s thinking about how that might lead to Clint licking syrup off his fingers, well, he’s never claimed to be a saint.