Inell's Fanfiction Archive

It’s refreshing to be dealing with a bunch of normal, human assholes. True, they’re of the evil scum variety, but they aren’t robots, aliens, mad scientists with delusions of grandeur, or biologically enhanced mutant animals. Clint can handle something this easy any time. Megalomaniac with plans to traffic drugs and weapons in order to rule some small country? That’s cake compared to what they’re usually called in to deal with since becoming a team.

He’s in position on the top of a gas station, arrow aimed at their target. Nat is listening to the plans for the takeover he’s planning, playing the part of a bubblehead bimbo without even needing to pay attention. She needs more challenging roles if they force her to go undercover, and he finds it pretty annoying that the women in S.H.I.E.L.D. are often forced to use their tits to get an in with a mark. Sure, the handsome male operatives have to do that kind of thing, too, but it’s definitely not as casual as it seems to be with the attractive women.

The rest of the team are in position waiting for the cue from Steve. They need the location of the weapons the guy has stashed. The only reason S.H.I.E.L.D. is even really involved in this is because of a crate of guns that got stolen from a warehouse belonging to a local S.H.I.E.L.D. office, after all. It’s more in line with his past missions, which means he’s bored and ready for the fun to start. “Does anyone else feel like our operations mostly consist of dealing with copycats of Pinky and the Brain? Only they’re all Pinky.”

“What are we going to do tonight, Hawkeye?” Tony asks, pitching his voice in a decent imitation of Pinky.

“What we do every night, Iron Man. Try to take over the world!” Clint alters his voice slightly and adds a chuckle that he’s pretty pleased to note is a good impersonation of Brain.

“Radio silence,” Steve says. He sounds all serious and focused, the way he is at all missions.

Clint sticks his tongue out in Steve’s general direction, not that he can see or will know about it. It still makes him feel better. Even Phil would usually indulge him occasionally when they had an assignment this slow and dull. He keeps his attention on Nat, ready to strike if she’s in danger, but the mark is so full of himself that he doesn’t seem to realize he’s the one in danger. Nat’s already starting to look twitchy.

“Hawkeye, aim for the wheels of the car. When he gets in, we’ll move.” Steve’s heard enough, obviously. “Iron Man, you got that location?”

“On the way now, Captain. See you on the flip side.” Tony takes off, flying to the east, and Clint nocks his arrow, aiming for the wheel.

They watch as Nat follows the mark to the car. On her signal, Steve gives the order. “Now. Go.”

Clint lets the arrow go, reaching for another before the first has even hit the target. He has the three wheels that he can see punctured while Nat’s moved in to restrain the bad guy. She manages to do it without any problems, so Thor focuses on the bodyguards while she moves into taking out the driver.

“Good shooting, Hawkeye. Remain in your nest for now,” Steve says, moving out of the building where he’s been waiting and approaching the fight happening in the street.

“Sure thing, babe. Let me know if you need any of these goons to get an arrow in the head, though.” Clint keeps his gaze on the fight, ready to strike if anyone is at risk.

“Not right now, sweetheart. Think we’ve got it under control.” Steve flashes a grin up at him before hitting one of the bodyguards with his shield. Clint can’t help but smile because, really, how is this his life? Fighting bad guys, friends who kick ass, and a Steve who calls him sweetheart without hesitation. Oh, and saving the world isn’t too bad, either.

“I’m just going to chill here and keep the Other Guy out of this one,” Bruce says. “I’m here if you need him, but this cup of tea is pretty damn good.”

“I find it unfair that Hulk gets to have tea while I’m forced to endure being mauled by that bastard,” Nat points out, grunting as she kicks the driver in the stomach.

“Next time, Hulk gets to seduce the mark!” Clint laughs when she pauses in her fight long enough to flip him off.

Once they have the mark and his goons contained, Sitwell leads the agents from S.H.I.E.L.D. into the field. They take over, so Clint climbs down to join his team. Steve bumps their hips together before going over to report to Sitwell. Nat punches him in the arm and gives him a stern look.

“What?” He elbows her arm lightly but doesn’t look away from Steve. The costume is pretty ridiculous but it’s tight in all the best places, he decides.

“You’re drooling over our captain.” Nat snorts. “Phil would call you out for inappropriate behavior in the field, so I’m merely taking over that responsibility since Sitwell thinks you’d shoot him if he ever questioned your conduct.”

“Sitwell is a smart man.” Clint shrugs. “And I’m not drooling. I was merely appreciating the hard work that went into creating that costume.”

“He does have a nice ass.” Nat gives him a sly look. “Have you tapped it yet?”

“No, and don’t ever ask that again. There will be no talking of tapping asses, especially not Steve’s.” Clint gives her a look to let her know he’s not going to be sexing and telling with Steve.

“Serious then.” Nat nods. “I figured. Took you both long enough to get your heads out of your--“

“Stop with the ass talk.” Clint rolls his eyes. “But, yeah, it’s kind of serious. I think. I mean, it’s only been one date, but it’s good.”

“Just don’t get your heart broken,” she warns quietly. “I’d hate to have to kill Captain America.”

Before Clint can answer her, she goes off to talk to Thor. Clint gets his arrows out of the tires of the car and then grabs a cup of tea with Bruce before they report back to base. Steve’s standing next to him as they wait in the conference room for debriefing, but they don’t get a chance to talk because Fury comes in.

“Captain, we need to talk. Walk with me.” Fury ignores the rest of them as he points at Steve before turning to leave.

“Uh oh. Fury looks pissed.” Tony makes a face before sitting on the table. He’s still wearing his suit, so Clint’s pretty sure he’s going to make a mark. Which is probably why he’s sitting like that.

“That’s how he always looks,” Steve says, shrugging before he shoots a quick smile at Clint and follows Fury. Clint doesn’t even wait for the door to close before he’s on the table and pulling himself up into the air vents. Tony’s right. Fury looks even more irritable than usual, but the mission was a success, so he wants to know what’s going on.

He catches up to them easily enough and listens as Steve gives a rundown of the mission. Fury stops walking when they reach a turn in the hallway and faces Steve.

“I don’t care about the mission, Captain. I need to talk to you about Barton.” Fury just stares at Steve.

“What about him?” Steve looks curious but also more guarded than he’d just been. Clint clenches his fingers into his fist, frowning as he stares down at them.

“I don’t give a flying fuck what Clint and Steve do. You’re finally getting your rocks off? Good for you, buddy. I’ll help you pick out china patterns or walk him down the aisle if you make it legal.” Fury takes a step closer to Steve. “Captain America and Hawkeye, however, are my business.”

“I really don’t see how any of it is your business. Sir.” Steve’s tone is defiant and he’s starting to get tense. Clint glares at Fury because it’s obvious he’s upsetting Steve.

“You’re professionals, even if your team acts like a bunch of toddlers with superpowers half the time. We can’t have flirting in the field. There’s a difference in letting off steam and having eye sex with an audience.” Fury holds up a hand before Steve can get a word out. “We also can’t have your enemies knowing that you’re having sex with one of your teammates. You’re a super soldier, Rogers, but Barton is human. What would they do to him in order to get to you?”

“I don’t know what eye sex is, but we aren’t having it. We’ve both behaved professionally, and I’m offended that you’d dare insinuate otherwise. And enemies could attack any of the team. That’s not a valid argument.”

“And it would suck, but they wouldn’t make it as personal as they would if they knew they had your lover. Think about it, Captain. If someone hated you enough to kidnap Barton, think about what they might do to him because they knew he mattered to you. Besides that, you know that it’s important to remain focused and objective in the battlefield. You have to detach yourself in order for the mission to be successful.”

Steve shakes his head. “We’re all humans, even if some of us are super versions. You can’t expect us to be a team and not care, in any way. I’d feel the same whether it was Natasha or Bruce or Clint taken and tortured to get to me. My personal feelings don’t make one of their lives worth more than another. If we’re detached and uncaring, we’re nothing but mindless machines fighting because we’re told to instead of doing it because we want to keep people safe.”

Fury groans. “Fine. You want another reason? Barton’s got a dick. You’ve been in this time long enough to know that not everyone’s puking rainbows and accepting of homosexuals. Sure, it’s improved from your time, when it often led to jail time or insane asylums, but there are still a lot of people, many of them powerful, who would love nothing more than for it to be that way again. It’s a polarizing issue that we don’t need overshadowing the good that your team is accomplishing.”

“I know there are people who butt into other people’s personal business, but I’m not going to live my life or base my happiness on their prejudice. I’ll make sure that our behavior is objective in the field, but I’d appreciate if you refrain from interfering with my personal life in the future. He makes me happy, and if there are small minded people out there who find that offensive, well, they can kindly fuck off. Sir.” Steve stands up straight, and Clint has to bite his lip to keep from echoing his sentiments. “If there’s nothing else, I’m going back to my team.” He leaves without giving Fury a chance to reply, and it’s obvious from his tone and expression that he’s pissed off.

Before Clint can crawl back to the conference room, Fury’s voice stops him. “Barton, you know I’m right. He’s naive if he believes he can remain impartial if you’re in a relationship.”

Clint pulls the tile to the side and jumps down, landing on his feet not too far from Fury. Straightening up, he runs a hand through his hair to get the dust out. “You need to have the vents cleaned,” he says. “As for Cap, he’s not naïve. He just doesn’t see how it’s anyone’s business who he’s dating. I happen to agree with him.”

“You know the risks. I had to make sure that he’s aware of them, too.” Fury frowns and rubs the bridge of his nose. “You have enemies, too, Barton. Just remember that.”

“And if they ever try to do anything to Steve, I’ll make sure they don’t live long enough to do it.”

“I’ve seen it happen before. It’s not a pretty picture.”

“I know it’s not. We’ll do what we can to make sure it doesn’t happen to us, Sir.”

Fury sighs and closes his eye. “It’s days like this that I particularly miss Coulson. You might listen to him.”

“I’d have told him the same thing.” Clint shrugs. It still hurts a little to talk about Phil, but it gets easier as time passes. “But he also would have handled this much better than you just did.”

“That did go to shit rather quickly, didn’t it?” Fury opens his eye. “Just be careful, son. If anything happens to you, Captain America or Natasha that I could have prevented, I think Phil would probably come back from the grave to haunt me.”

“We’ll be careful, Sir,” Clint says seriously. He knows Fury’s trying to look out for them, which he can respect even if he’s annoyed that it’s upset Steve.

“Go debrief. Cap is probably looking for you, and Sitwell hasn’t learned how to handle Stark yet.” Fury starts to walk away before he stops and looks back at Clint. He slowly smiles in a way that makes Clint immediately wary. “And I meant what I said, Clint. If you ever make it legal?” He starts to hum the bridal march as he walks down the hall.

“Okay. That’s just wrong on so many levels,” Clint mutters, shuddering slightly. He rubs his hand over his face as he turns and heads back to the conference room. He’ll stop off on the way to grab a bag of M&Ms for Steve because the candy might give him a nice distraction from the bad mood Fury put him into.