Inell's Fanfiction Archive

Clint’s slept in a variety of strange places during his life, but this is the first time he’s slept against the door to a linen closet when his own bed’s not that far away. His back is feeling it already, and he’s barely conscious yet. When he finally opens his eyes, he realizes he’s leaning against Steve’s side, and someone tossed a blanket over them at some point but didn’t wake either of them up. He’s not sure if he’s glad they weren’t disturbed or annoyed that they ended up sleeping on the ground in such an awkward position. Glad wins out with little deliberation, especially since he’s not sure he’d have believed last night actually happened if he’d woken up alone in his bed.

It did happen, though, and he’s feeling pretty silly for not realizing what was happening until he was told. Some spy he’s turned out to be. It’s probably a good thing that he’s generally the muscle since shooting targets doesn’t require him to assess the behavior of super soldiers from the past who have feelings for him. Fortunately, that’s likely to be a one-time occurrence, so he’s not going to worry about his lack of observational skills when it comes to his personal life. The important thing is that he managed to get his head out of his ass before he lost this chance with Steve.

Clint looks at Steve and can’t help but smile. He’s snoring softly, with his mouth hanging open a little and his neck twisted at an angle that’s going to probably be sore when he wakes up, but he still somehow manages to look good. And he’s Clint’s, for as long as they last doing this relationship thing. He’s never been particularly possessive about his sexual partners before, but he’s also never had anyone want to keep him around long enough for him to feel that way. Steve wants him, though. Even after Clint tried to make him understand this might not work and explained about his own lack of relationship skills, Steve still wants to do this. With him.

That’s enough confidence to ease some of Clint’s concerns, but he still isn’t sure if they can make this work. Steve’s never even had sex before, and that’s all Clint’s ever been good for in the past. He can’t use his body and skills to fill in any gaps that might show up while they do this. It’s scary when he thinks about it, since he’s always been able to rely on that physical stuff to please his partner even if they don’t get along or it was just a mission for S.H.I.E.L.D. that required getting close to a target. With Steve, he’s got to depend on himself and who he is and how they get along outside the bedroom. He’s going to need to go slow, too, which isn’t his normal speed. Not that he’s ever been able to actually develop a speed before.

It’s new and different and terrifying, but he’s also excited and happy to be trying it, which helps with the fears a little. While watching Steve sleep, he decides that he’s going to do this right. He’s going to try to make this special for Steve, with real dates and moving slow so he doesn’t pressure or push things faster than they should go. He wants this to work, he knows, and that means he’s got to put in the effort. It’s got to be about them, not just sex, if they want this to last. He sees that watching Tony and Pepper, after all. They’re the first real example of a relationship he’s seen that actually works and is what he’s wanted but never thought he’d be good enough to have.

When he hears Steve’s breathing change, he knows he must be waking up. Clint reaches over to brush his hair back from his forehead. “Hey, sleeping beauty,” he murmurs, leaning over to brush a quick kiss against the corner of Steve’s mouth.

Steve tenses for a minute before he relaxes and smiles. “Wasn’t just another dream then?” He blinks his eyes and stretches, wincing as he rubs the back of his neck. “Ouch.”

“My back’s already sore. Think we might both need to bribe Bruce into giving us a massage today.” Clint watches Steve. “But, no, not a dream. We had our own Very Special Episode of Life with the Avengers last night, wherein we learned that Steve has been crushing on the really not at all observant and maybe even embarrassingly oblivious for a damn spy Clint, who’s been doing the same for months.”

“We have a television show now?” Steve ducks his head and chuckles. “I wouldn’t put it past Tony to suggest one of those internet shows, so don’t give him any ideas.” He looks up at Clint. “You’re not the only one who wasn’t observant, it sounds like.”

Clint reaches over to gently wipe the sleep from the corner of Steve’s eyes. “Well, you’re not a super spy, so you get a pass on that, I think.” He shrugs. They’d spent hours talking last night, before they’d fallen asleep, but they’d talked about everything except the relationship thing. Now, he isn’t really sure what to do. “So, you still want to do this?”

“I’m buckled up, baby. Though I don’t think the ride’s going to be that bumpy.” Steve reaches over to stroke his jaw, which makes Clint lean into the touch because it’s almost like being petted it feels so nice. “I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m still entirely sure what it’s going to be like to be with another man, but I want you, Clint Barton, and a good night’s sleep hasn’t changed that. If anything, it’s made me more determined not to let you go.”

“You always use my last name when you want me to pay attention.” Clint smiles. “Just don’t call me by my full name unless I’m in big trouble and need a warning to prepare for the worst.”

“So I should save Clinton Francis Barton until we’re fighting,” Steve says. “I’ll remember that. If you call me Captain outside of a mission, I’ll know you’re upset with me.”

Clint shakes his head. “Listen to us. We’re already figuring out what to call each other when we fight, and we haven’t even had a first date yet.”

“We’re being realistic. We’re both stubborn, opinionated, and aren’t very good at talking about stuff. I don’t think it’s bad to figure out key words now when we don’t actually need them.”

“You’re probably right. Besides, neither of us knows how we’re going to be when we’re in a relationship. It’s being proactive, if nothing else.”

“I, uh, I know that I don’t like sharing much. I get jealous sometimes when you spend all your time with the others. I’ll work on that, but I can’t promise it’ll get better, especially not if we’re involved.”

“For the record, you don’t need to be jealous, but I know that’s easier said than done. Just talk to me if you get too weirded out about stuff. Okay?”

“I might draw you a picture. I’m better with art than words.” Steve smiles sheepishly. “And, really, Natasha was the only one I thought you were dating.”

Clint nods. “I could see that, even if it’s not true. You’re over that, right? She’s my family, and we’re really close, so she’s going to be a huge part of my life. We touch and cuddle and do stuff that might bother you, but it’s not sexual.” He needs to know if that’s a deal breaker now before he gets in too deep. Nat’s not going anywhere, so Steve needs to be able to deal with it or else they’re over before they even get started.

“I know that now. I won’t say it doesn’t bother me, thinking about you being so close to someone else if we’re in a relationship, but I also know she’s your family. If Bucky was alive, I’d feel the same way about him, so I’ll try to remember that.” Steve shrugs. “As long as she stops looking at me like I’m going to do something to hurt you, I can accept her. I hope she’ll accept me one day, too.”

Clint laughs. “She already has or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. She approves, even if she doesn’t say it.”

“I think Tony and Thor are the only ones out of the group who are actually good with words, aren’t they? I’m starting to realize that.” Steve leans in to kiss the tip of Clint’s nose. “Is that okay? Kissing you, I mean. Should I ask before I do? Can we hold hands when we go out or would you rather not? I’m not sure what’s normal these days.”

“Who wants to be normal, Steve?” He finds it a little surreal to be discussing PDAs with Captain America, and he can’t help but wish Phil were here to see this. Not just because it’s Steve, but because Clint’s never done anything like this before and Phil would get it and support him in that quiet way without Clint even knowing half the time. “Why don’t we wait and see what happens? We can figure out our boundaries about that stuff as we go?”

“That sounds good. I wasn’t sure if we could do that or if it might make you uncomfortable. I don’t want to do anything wrong.” Steve looks nervous as he worries his bottom lip. “I know how relationships worked in my time, with courting and marriage, and some people had sex without marriage but it was usually loose women and men being men, which I know now was pretty hypocritical, but that’s how it was. I definitely don’t mind the change in sex being more open and accepted, but I don’t know how the rest of the relationship is supposed to go.”

Clint snorts. “Like I do? I’d suggest asking Pepper, but I doubt anything involving Tony is traditional or typical. This isn’t a movie, it’s real life, and we’re already good friends who share a house. Our friends get along because they’re basically the same people, and we know what buttons to push if we want to piss each other off. We also know how to make each other happy. I’d say we’re already pretty far along in the courtship thing, even if we didn’t know we were doing it in the first place.”

“Which leaves dating and kissing.” Steve grins. “I like those parts. Have you been with men before? I mean, sex with men.”

“Yeah. Both for fun and work.” He sees Steve’s curious look and knows he has to explain. “Sometimes, I have to get close to a target or was instructed to get information that would only be shared with a lover. The longest lasting sexual relationships I’ve ever had were all orders from S.H.I.E.L.D., so I’ve had male and female partners through work as well as for enjoyment. Don’t give me that look, Steve. It’s an unfortunate part of the job when you’re attractive and skilled. I haven’t been used in that way as often as Nat, anyway, and it’s just sex. It’s always been just sex.”

Steve still looks horrified, and Clint has to remind himself that he’s still a little naïve in some circumstances. “I can’t believe they’d make you…and Natasha’s had to…” He frowns. “That’s not right. I don’t care what they’re trying to save, that’s wrong.”

“Hey, it’s fine. Neither of us are being used on those kinds of missions now, and the past is the past.” Clint doesn’t really care because it’s not like sex is somehow worse than assassinating someone. “What I was trying to say is that I might be more experienced than you when it comes to the details, but it’s never meant more than getting off before. It’s going to mean more with you, and I’m not sure how that’s going to be, with emotions mixed up in it. Not even the time Nat and I tried, it was soon after we met and, well, we became friends after really. This is new to me in some ways, too, so I just wanted you to know that before we do this.”

“It’s not fine, but I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree. You’re not doing that ever again, though. I don’t care how much times have changed, you shouldn’t have to share your body unless you choose to do so.” Steve gives him that stubborn look that means Clint’s not going to change his mind on it. “I’m glad to know you’re going to be as inexperienced at some of this as I am, since I was a little worried about that.”

“Will you go out with me tomorrow, Steve?” Clint figures asking formally makes it special, and they’ve talked about a lot of shit this morning, but he still hasn’t even asked him out yet. “On a real date.”

Steve nods. “As Tony likes to say, duh. Of course I will. Do I get to find out where we’re going or is it going to be a surprise?” He smiles.

“A surprise.” He doesn’t even know where they’re going yet, but he’ll figure it out between now and tomorrow night. “I think we probably need to get up before whoever put this blanket on us comes looking for us. Want breakfast?”

“It was probably Bruce or Natasha. I figure that’s who the others would send out to find us. And breakfast sounds good. I think I’ll make omelets as an apology for my minor freak out last night. I’m still pretty embarrassed about that,” he admits.

“I think they understand.” Clint brushes Steve’s hair back from his forehead. “Tony was upset when he realized what he’d done, so you’ll probably have some new electronic gadget in your room when you get there. Really, you should consider omelets a thank you because we could have still been wanting without realizing if they hadn’t been nosy and pushy.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to reward their behavior. It’d just encourage all of them to meddle,” Steve says with a slight smile. “It’s bad enough when they do it unintentionally. We don’t want them doing it on purpose.”

“Eh, you’re probably right. You want some help with breakfast? I need to take a shower and brush my teeth, but then I’ll be ready to assume the role of assistant chef.” Clint enjoys cooking with Steve, enough so that he’s stopped ordering delivery all the time and is trying to do more in the kitchen. Grilled cheese sandwiches like he made last night is something he wouldn’t have bothered making months ago, after all.

“I never mind your help in the kitchen. And I need a shower and stuff, too. I’d say meet in the kitchen in twenty minutes?” Before Clint can answer, Steve leans in to kiss him. It’s almost innocent, if a kiss can be that, and he likes the way his heart skips a beat from something so simple and sweet. There’s a part of him that wants to deepen it, to slide his tongue into Steve’s mouth, but he restrains himself because they’re moving slow and taking it easy. When he feels Steve’s tongue lick his lips, he’s so surprised that he pulls back and blinks at him.

“You, uh.” Clint reaches up to scratch the back of his neck as he watches a blush spread over Steve’s cheeks even as he smiles. “We should, um, probably go, before Nat comes looking for us. She might seem cool and aloof, but she’d totally want details, and I’d rather eat before giving her the satisfaction of being smug about us being together.”

“Clint, take a breath.” Steve’s smile widens. “Was that okay? The kiss?”

Clint groans and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, it was more than okay. I just…we’re going slow, and I was startled, I guess.”

“Huh.” Steve stands up and offers Clint a hand to help him get to his feet. They’re no longer about the same height since they’re standing, and Clint has to tilt his head back to be able to see Steve’s face. It’s disconcerting, in a way, because Clint usually gets together with guys his height or shorter, but Steve doesn’t feel threatening. He knows he’s not going to overpower him or force him to do anything, after all.

“C’mon. Showers and food await us.” Clint starts to walk to the elevator before reaching back to take Steve’s hand. This is new, holding hands with his, what, boyfriend? God, Tony’ll laugh his ass off if they use that word to describe each other. His partner? That sounds like they’re on a mission or something. His Steve? Yeah, that sounds right.

When they reach the elevator, Steve moves behind him and rests his chin on Clint’s shoulder. “You know, I don’t remember ever agreeing to take things slow,” he says, his tone amused and Clint doesn’t even have to look at him to know he’s smiling.

“We didn’t talk about it.” Clint leans back slightly, resting his back against Steve’s firm chest. When Steve’s arms wrap around him, he feels safe and protected. Instead of disturbing him, he finds it comforting. “We’re doing the courtship thing, though, and that means dating and moving slow.”

Lips brush against his neck suddenly, and he shivers from the feel of soft wet against his warm skin. “We don’t have to move slowly on my account, in case I get a vote in this. I’ve committed to this, Clint, to you, and I’m not some scared virgin who needs to move at a drawn out rate.”

“Right. So you’re ready to go to my room now, get on your knees, and let me have you?” Clint gets where Steve’s coming from, and he understands wanting more, but he also knows they’re not a normal couple.

“I, well. Who says I’ll be the one on my knees? And what do knees have to do with it? Wouldn’t we be lying down?” Steve sounds curious and eager to learn, which are a destructive combination in an attack against Clint’s willpower and focus.

“Which is why we’re taking this slow and letting things happen naturally,” Clint says, feeling like he’s made his point. The elevator finally arrives, so he steps on and waits for Steve to enter before he hits the number for their floor. “Going slow doesn’t mean we can’t make out like teenagers during the elevator ride.”

“Good to know.” Steve grins as he steps closer and leans his head down. Clint leans up and shifts around until they’re able to kiss without bumping noses or standing too awkwardly. It’s only a couple of floors, so it’s just enough time for a few more sweet kisses.