Inell's Fanfiction Archive

Buffy heard it as she was walking to her room. Her late night snack was forgotten as she paused at the door of the bathroom. She put her glass and plate on the small hallway table, knocking on the door softly. "Willow, honey, you OK?"

"Fine," was the answer she received.

Buffy sighed, resting her head against the door. Willow was most decidedly not fine. The redhead had been back in town for nearly six weeks, having spent two weeks with her parents in Philadelphia. Since her return, she'd been acting strangely. Just little things that Buffy had noticed, though she doubted anyone else really had. She knew Willow pretty well, knew when something was bothering her best friend. She had no idea what it could be which really made it tough to try to help. Outwardly, Willow was the same. Smiling and helpful and all around Willow-like. But, Buffy would catch her sometimes just sitting quietly, a sad look in her eyes. Or smiling at some private joke that no one else seemed to understand. Buffy knew that something had happened during her visit with her parents. She just wished she knew what it had been. What it was that would cause Willow to be so sad and unhappy at times but also so happy at others.

"Will, you're crying," Buffy said softly, not wanting to wake Dawn. "I can hear you. Crying is a not fine sort of thing."

"Buffy, please," Willow said. "Just go back to bed."

"I've left it for the last six weeks," Buffy said, "you're my best friend. I want to help, damn it. Let me in. Please, talk to me."

Willow sighed as she rested her head on the closed toilet seat. She knew that Buffy was trying to help, knew that she really couldn't keep that train ride a secret forever. She finally said, "It's unlocked."

Buffy opened the door, stepping inside as she shut it behind her. Willow was sitting on the floor, her head laying on the closed toilet seat. Buffy frowned as she took in the scene, asking, "Are you sick?"

Willow laughed weakly, "No."

"Why were you crying?" Buffy asked, moving to sit on the floor in front of Willow. She gave her friend a smile as she pushed red hair from Willow's face.

"Because, I'm not sick," Willow said, making a face. "Goddess, this is so silly."

"You're not really making a lot of sense," Buffy said, waiting, wanting to understand.

Willow sighed, "I started my period tonight."

"OK," Buffy said, not following. "Are you in pain? Do you need to borrow some pills?"

Willow shook her head as she felt the tears begin to flow, "I started. That means that I'm not pregnant."

"Which is a good thing," Buffy said with a frown. "Besides, why would you think you might be pregnant?"

"I miss him so much, Buffy," Willow said softly, the tears on her face. "I wake up and reach for him, but he's not there. I don't know where he is. I was just being selfish, so very selfish. I was hoping that maybe, one of those times that we forgot the condom, that I might have gotten pregnant. Oh Goddess, I'm a horrible person. Wanting his baby just so I could have a part of him with me forever. I don't want a baby, I just want him. Tonight, seeing the blood, well, it hit me that he really was gone, that there was nothing left except my memories."

"Him?" Buffy said, looking at Willow in confusion.

"I'm just so confused," Willow said, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "We agreed that it would just be the week, no complications. I thought that it would be easy, you know? Just a week. It was such a short time. I thought I could deal with it, be worldly enough to move past it. But, I was so stupid. I fell in love with him, Buffy. I love him so much it scares me."

"I agree with the confusion," Buffy said softly, her heart breaking as she watched her best friend cry. She pulled Willow to her and hugged the redhead saying softly, "Tell me everything."

********************

Willow heard Buffy's soft words, closing her eyes as she said, "I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Buffy asked, confusion on her face as Willow lifted her head to look at her.

"I just," Willow sighed, "it was something so unlike me, I'm not sure you'd believe it."

"Try me," Buffy said, wanting to know what Willow had been talking about. She'd gotten a pretty good idea that it had to do with a man and knew that it had to have been sex. She wanted to know why Willow was sad now.

"I took the train to Philly," Willow reminded, feeling a bit embarrassed to be discussing this with her best friend, but knowing that she would trust Buffy with anything and also realizing that she might feel better if she talked about it.

"I know. I dropped you off at the station, remember?" Buffy said, waiting.

"I had a sleeping car, or whatever it is they call it," Willow said, smiling wistfully as she remembered, "I was sharing it with a guy, Lindsey MacDonald."

"And this Lindsey would be*him*?" Buffy asked, connecting the dots.

"Yeah," Willow sighed. "From the first time I saw him, Buffy, there was something there. I can't even explain it without sounding really stupid. There was an attraction unlike anything I've ever felt. I mean, he was gorgeous. Dark hair, blue eyes, a body to die for. Intelligent and funny. There was also a slight edge around him, an element of danger that made him more desirable."

"And you slept with him," Buffy said softly, sighing.

Willow nodded, "I tried to fight it. That first day was terrible. Feeling all those things for someone I didn't even know. He felt it too, though. I could see it in the way he watched me, in the way he touched me. We had sex that night. Goddess, I didn't even know anything about him but I gave myself to him. And it was so good. I felt things....I don't know, it seemed right."

"It was pretty foolish," Buffy said quietly, not wanting to ruin Willow's memories but also knowing that Willow wasn't that reckless usually. "You didn't know him, Willow."

"Oh, as well as you knew Parker?" Willow shot back before shaking her head, "I don't want to fight, Buffy. That's one reason I didn't mention anything before. It was foolish. I acted without thinking. Afterwards, I never had any regrets. We both knew that, if we got involved, it would only be for the week. He was going to Boston and I was only staying a short time before returning home. I never meant to fall in love with him. I told myself that I shouldn't care, that I should just enjoy how he made me feel. I just couldn't help it. By the time I realized it, it was too late."

"What about him?" Buffy asked, hearing the depth of emotion in Willow's voice. She also knew that she had made mistakes in the past and was definitely not in any position to judge.

"He left," Willow said softly, looking away. "He never looked back. I'd like to believe that he cared. The way he touched me, the look I'd see in his eyes, there were times I felt that he might be falling for me too. I don't know. I guess I'll never really know."

"He loved you," Buffy decided, giving Willow a smile. "How could anyone not love you?"

"I'm sorry I never told you before," Willow said softly.

"I knew you'd talk to me when you were ready," Buffy said, shrugging. "Or when I got tired of waiting and forced you into it."

"I feel better," Willow said, "you know, after talking about it to someone. It still hurts, but at least I know you're there if I need to talk."

"You're my best friend, Willow," Buffy said, "I'm always there for you. Never forget that."

"I know, same here," Willow said with a small smile.

"You know what we need?" Buffy asked with a growing smile.

"What?" Willow asked, moving to stand as Buffy did the same.

"The cure for all aches and pains, physical and mental," Buffy said with a wink, "Ice cream!"

********************

He hated flying, he decided as he shifted in the seat, bumping into the man seated beside him. He mumbled an apology before looking out the small window. Lindsey sighed as he watched the passing clouds, wishing for the millionth time in two months that he were still on a train in his own private world with Willow. He looked away from the window, knowing that thinking about her would not make things better. In fact, it tended to make things worse. He'd get cranky and unhappy and be a complete ass to be around. It was a good thing that he had no plans to talk to anyone on the flight.

Willow. Just thinking about her made him experience so many emotions that he couldn't understand them all. He had not even known her for a week. One week. It wasn't possible to fall in love over such a short time. He kept telling himself that even as his heart would start racing whenever he saw someone with hair the same color as hers. He could remember everything about her, from her taste to her smell to her laugh to her smile to her tears. He flinched as he remembered their last day together, at the train station. He'd left her, intending to board his train. He'd felt a need to go back, to see her one last time. When he'd returned, she'd been crying. She hadn't even noticed him. He'd left without speaking, knowing that there was nothing he could have said to change things. He had to be on that train. He wished it could have been different, but there were some things out of his control.

He found himself wondering if she was thinking about him. Had she already gone home or was she still in Philadelphia with her parents? Had she forgotten him or did she wake up at night from a restless sleep aching for him beside her as he did? He knew this wasn't healthy, to dwell on the past. First, his career with Wolfram and Hart. Now, that wonderful week with Willow. Not that he could compare the two. Not even slightly. Memories of Willow, of what they had shared on the train, of what he had felt, they had driven him the past couple of months. He'd aced his interviewed, being hired that very day. The past two months had been spent doing basic training, learning the ropes, reading the rule books. Already, he could tell a difference in his attitude. He was finally doing something he enjoyed. He was happier than he had been in years, except for that one week.

It always came back to that, he had learned recently. Every woman that he met was compared to Willow and found lacking. He had begun to compare everything to the happiness that he had felt those few days with her. He had to wonder if he would ever forget her, if he could ever move on without wondering if he had made the right decision. Had he gone to her, confessed his feelings to her, he'd never have gone to Boston. Could he have given up his job for her? His new career? His redemption? In a way, he was glad that he didn't have to find out. He liked what he was doing, more than he would ever have imagined. At the time, he wasn't good enough for her. He had no job, no money, no future really. Now, well, he guessed it was too late to think about the what if scenarios.

He noticed the seat belt sign going off. With a relieved sigh, he fastened his seat belt. He glanced outside, feeling a moment of apprehension. He was being tested by his new firm. They'd taught him the basic skills and were now sending him out to prove that he was good enough to work for them. He could do it, of that there was little doubt. It was just, their idea of testing was a bit surprising. They either thought he had what it took and were hoping to accelerate his progress or they wanted show him that he would never make it. He was counting on it being the former, having watched the people he had interacted with and never noticed any underlying resentment. It was strange working with people that he could trust, knowing that they all had the same common goal, that they weren't out to destroy the world and every bit of human goodness that existed. He settled back in his chair as he heard the captain announce the descent into Sunnydale.

********************

"Buffy, is something bothering Willow?" Giles asked as he sat down, his eyes watching his slayer.

"Why do you ask?" Buffy asked, looking at the man.

"I'm not sure. She seems sad, in a way," Giles remarked. "I was just wondering if something was bothering her."

"She's OK," Buffy said with a smile. "Some things happened when she was on vacation, but she's dealing. Guy trouble."

"Ah," Giles nodded, understanding. "That explains a bit."

"We're going to a movie tonight," Buffy said, "before patrol. You can join us, if you want. Dawn, Xander and Anya are going too. We can make it a pre-patrol bash."

"No thank you," he smiled, "you kids can enjoy yourselves though."

"Oh, look," Buffy pointed at a woman that had come in the store. "A customer!"

"Yes, I am aware," Giles said dryly before standing and moving to assist the woman.

Buffy smiled as she watched her watcher. He was finally pretty happy, running the shop with Anya. Since her Mother had died, she and Dawn had begun to rely on him even more than before, him taking over the role of Father in many ways. He seemed to enjoy it, having always been a surrogate parent to their group anyway. She was glad that he was enjoying himself. She did love him like a father and wanted him to be happy. She glanced at the door as another customer came in. This time, a good looking guy that got a second glance. She glanced at a busy Giles and smiled as she got up, leaving the back of the store and moving towards the hottie.

"Can I help you?" she asked, noticing that he looked slightly nervous before he covered it with a smile.

"I'm afraid not," he said with a smile as he looked at Giles. "I need to speak to him, I think."

"Giles? Is he expecting you?" Buffy asked, wondering why her watcher hadn't mentioned having company.

"I believe they phoned him a few days ago," the man said, watching as the woman paid for her purchase and left. He stepped forward, "Rupert Giles?"

"Yes? How can I help you?" Giles asked the younger man.

The man looked at Buffy before looking back at Giles, "I believe we should speak in private."

"Oh, you're the one the council sent me," Giles said, nodding. "They rang last week and asked if I'd train one of their new watchers."

"He's a watcher?" Buffy asked, looking at the man and whistling softly, "The council has certainly changed in the past few years. He's not British, he's not wearing tweed, and he sure doesn't look uptight. No offense, Giles."

"None taken," he said with a roll of his eyes before looking back at the watcher. "Please, call me Giles."

"Lindsey MacDonald," the man said, holding out his hand not noticing Buffy's smile fading or the look of surprise in her eyes. "Lindsey."

********************

Buffy gawked at the handsome man, still not believing she had heard him correctly. She repeated his name again, needing to make sure, "Lindsey MacDonald, you say?"

Lindsey glanced at the pretty blonde, nodding as she said his name. It was the second time she had said it, the disbelief in her eyes bothering him slightly. She was now looking at him as if she knew him, that hint of recognition causing him to look at Giles to avoid seeing her stare at him that way, "The council said that you were one of their best."

"I was," Giles said, giving no room for discussion, "until I put my slayer first and got fired."

"Ahem," Buffy cleared her throat, drawing herself from her thoughts about Willow, wondering if this could be the same Lindsey that Willow had told her about, wondering if he knew Willow was there, wondering if Willow would be happy to see him, wondering if Willow should even know he was there until Buffy had made sure his intentions with her friend were of the good kind, wondering if the circles under his eyes had been caused in the same way that Willow's had, wondering if it was fate that had brought him to Sunnydale or just a very unlikely coincidence.

"Ah, yes," Giles smiled, mistaking Buffy's interruption, "Lindsey, this is Buffy Summers, the slayer."

"I've heard a lot about you," Lindsey said, eyeing the blonde. This was the best slayer in recent history? She wasn't exactly what he had expected, not after hearing all the stories and his past meeting with the other slayer, Faith.

"You thought I'd be bigger," she said with a slight smile seeing the look in his eyes. "I was just wondering if I could ask you a question, Lindsey MacDonald?"

"All right," he said hesitantly.

"Do you like trains?" she asked, deciding the roundabout approach might be better for this situation.

"Trains? Really, Buffy," Giles rolled his eyes. "Lindsey has had a rather long flight from Boston, wasn't it?"

Lindsey nodded, drawing himself from thoughts of trains and Willow, "Yes, I've been training in Boston."

"Giles, stay out of this," Buffy warned, the pieces sliding into place perfectly. She'd never been one to believe in fate or any of that nonsense, but something had brought Lindsey here, back into Willow's life. She wanted to know that it was a good thing and not a Hellmouthy thing before she allowed Willow around the guy that had broken her heart. "Boston. Did you take a train to Boston, per chance? A couple of months ago?"

"Yes," he said softly, eyes narrowing as he looked at the nosy blonde. "How did you know?"

"On this train, did you happen to meet a beautiful, intelligent, kind, honest, wonderful woman?" Buffy asked, her arms crossing in front of her chest as she waited for his answer. She saw the look flash in his eyes, almost relaxing her inquisition as she saw love and regret in those pretty blue eyes. Instead, she reminded herself that he had made Willow cry.

"Who are you?" he asked quietly, his words cautious. How did she know these things?

"And did you spend a fantastic week with her, talking, making love, becoming friends, making her fall in love with you only to leave her at the train station?" she asked softly, seeing from his eyes the truth she needed to know.

"I had to leave her," Lindsey whispered, running his hand through his hair, "I didn't have a job, she deserved more than I could give her, I didn't want to leave her, damn it. Do you have any idea how difficult that was? Finding someone that completes you, makes you feel more than you have ever felt, falling in love for the first time only to have to walk away after a week?"

"Buffy?" Giles looked at the slayer with curiosity, questions in his eyes. He assumed that this man was somehow connected to Willow's present sadness, gathering a pretty good idea of what had happened on the redhead's trip east.

Buffy glanced at Giles and smiled slightly before looking back at Lindsey, "You love her, don't you?"

"How did you know about her?" Lindsey asked, not answering the question. "Is this some test from the council? I thought they were different, that they didn't play these stupid games."

"I don't work for the council," Buffy said, not needing to hear his answer to know it. He did love Willow. She smiled softly as she asked, "You really don't know, do you?"

"Don't know what?" he asked, his tone sharper than he had planned. This meeting had not gone well at all. He'd never expected them to know about Willow, to question him like that, to make him feel.

"What are the chances of him coming here?" Buffy asked Giles, seeing by the look in the watcher's eyes that he had figured out most of what was happening. "He doesn't know. The council definitely doesn't know. What do you think the chances are?"

"I couldn't even begin to guess," Giles said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He almost wished that he had turned the council down, knowing that Willow's life was about to become even more complicated.

"Chances for what?" Lindsey said, hating not understanding what they were discussing.

"Hey Buff, you ready to roll?" Xander asked as he entered the store, holding the door open for Anya, Dawn and Willow. His brown eyes found the slayer, a smile crossing his face as he said, "We've got half an hour until the movie starts so you'd better be ready."

Lindsey glanced at the man that had spoken, freezing when he saw the redhead moving from behind the lanky guy. It couldn't be. There was no way. In a soft whisper, he said her name, "Willow?"

********************

Willow was walking towards the table looking her purse for her watch when she heard it, the voice that had haunted her for the last two months. Shaking her head, she kept her eyes on the floor, wondering if she was really going crazy. She said, "Buffy, can we go soon? Xander's becoming impossible."

Buffy looked at the redhead and smiled, saying softly, "Willow, honey, look up."

Willow looked up with a frown, her purse falling from her hands as she stared in open-mouthed astonishment, "Lindsey?"

"Okay. I'm lost," Xander spoke up, looking suspiciously at the attractive man staring at Willow before looking at Buffy who seemed to know what was going on. "Buff?"

"Xander, I think you and Anya need to go to that movie," Buffy said, deciding that the less audience Willow had, the better.

"I think I'll join them," Giles said, moving towards the confused couple. He mouthed the words, I'll explain outside, before looking pointedly at Buffy, "Are you coming?"

"Nope," Buffy said simply, giving him a look that dared him to object. She had no idea how Willow was going to react to seeing Prince Charming again and she planned to be there if her best friend needed her. As it was, Willow was still gawking silently at Lindsey who was still staring at her in shocked dismay. If they kept this up, they might need her to speak for them.

"Lock up when you leave," he said as he glanced at the girl that was like a daughter to him and then at the man he had just met. Watcher or not, if that Lindsey chap hurt Willow, he'd teach him a thing or two about torture.

"What are you doing here?" Willow finally asked when she found herself able to speak. "This isn't another dream, is it?"

"Ouch!" Willow cried out, glaring at Buffy as she rubbed the arm where the slayer had pinched her.

"What?" Buffy said innocently, "You wanted to make sure it wasn't a dream."

"You're really here," Lindsey said quietly, aching to go to her, to hold her, to touch her, to kiss her. Instead, he leaned against the counter, unable to do anything except look at her.

"You didn't come here for me, did you?" Willow asked softly, her eyes looking into his. "You're as surprised to see me as I am to see you."

"I had no idea you'd be here," he confessed, "your hair is longer. You've let it grow."

She touched her hair, nodding, "I haven't had it cut yet. Why are you here, Lindsey?"

"He's the new watcher," Buffy said after five minutes went by in silence. She moved beside Willow, her arm moving around the redhead's shoulder as she gave Lindsey a glare, "Don't you have anything to say? You were speaking rather well earlier."

"Buffy, it's okay," Willow spoke up, leaning her head against Buffy's supportive shoulder, "he didn't expect to find me here, obviously. Don't force it. Please?"

"Willow," Lindsey said, watching as she looked at him, her green eyes glassy, "I uh I don't know what to say."

She smiled softly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "Then don't say anything. Hurts less that way," she looked at Buffy, asking, "can we please go home? I suddenly don't feel like going out."

"Sure thing, honey," Buffy said, giving her best friend a smile before turning to glare again at Lindsey. She moved towards the counter, grabbing Giles' extra keys. She toss them to Lindsey, telling him, "I'm taking Willow home. If you suddenly find your voice, Giles knows where we live. Lock up, okay?"

Lindsey watched as she moved back to Willow's side, taking the redhead's hand and squeezing it in support as they left. He started to call out to Willow, to beg her to stay, to tell her how he felt, but he was still too stunned to speak. He'd found her. Then, he'd let her go, again.

********************

Lindsey stood looking at the door as it closed behind Buffy and Willow, unable to say a word. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the floor, counting slowly to ten. He put the keys that Buffy had tossed to him on the counter as he moved towards the chair. He sat down, feeling even more defeated than he had leaving LA all those months ago. Why had this happened? It had taken him weeks to get to the point where he only thought of her a dozen times a day. Now, seeing her again, memories came flashing back full force. Who was he joking? He'd never forgotten, would never forget. That week on the train had been the happiest time of his life.

He couldn't believe that Willow lived in Sunnydale. Not only did she live on the Hellmouth, but she was best friends with the slayer. She knew about the evil that lurked in shadows, probably had her life in danger more times than he cared to think about, yet she was still so innocent in a way. She had such an optimistic view on life. He had thought her naive a few times, her words seemingly coming from a girl barely out of high school. How could someone who had seen what she had to have seen, that had experienced what she had experienced, be able to look for the good in life? Of course, it would appear that she was not alone in her unique views of life. Buffy was not at all what he would have expected from a slayer. Especially a slayer that had faced the enemies that she had faced.

He looked around the empty store, noticing the shadows growing on the wall as the sun set. How long had he sat there thinking? Time meant nothing to him at the moment. He had let Willow walk away from him again. How could he have been so stupid? Sure, he had been surprised to see her, wondering if he were imagining her, but he should have said something. He should have pulled her to him and held on, never letting her go. Instead, he'd stood there like some idiot. He felt even more guilty thinking about the flash of hurt in her pretty green eyes at his silence. He had thought he could hurt her no more, but he appeared to have been wrong. He had seen fear flash in her eyes when she had looked at him. Fear and uncertainty and hope that had soon had faded to be replaced by hurt. Thinking over what had happened, what had been said, he believed that she was hoping he had come for her. That he had come to Sunnydale to find her.

Could he be right? Could she really want him in her life? When he had left her in Philadelphia, he had been unemployed, homeless, and had only half of his savings left. Now, he had a job that he actually liked, he was still homeless but only until he found a place to rent in Sunnydale, and his savings were starting to go back up. He had spent the last weeks studying and training, not leaving much room to spend money. The council did not pay their watchers, the job being strictly volunteer. He had not planned on being a watcher at all, truth be told. He had been hired by the council for his knowledge of law. He was being kept on a retainer that was more than enough to live comfortably with his only job so far being to look over various contracts and real estate forms. After a week, he had been bored out of his mind. That was when he had asked about becoming a watcher. The people with which he trained were not aware that he was also the council's lawyer, though it was not a secret. It had just never been discussed. It was nice, in a way, having a calling of sorts that did not involve law. Since he had become a watcher trainee, he had been forced in physical and mental work, using parts of his mind that hadn't been used before along with muscles in his body that had finally gotten to a point where they did not ache.

He shook his head, bringing his thoughts back to Willow. He could love her. Could imagine life with her too easily. It had been a dream mere hours before. Now, though, it seemed that he might have a chance at having that dream become a reality. She knew of the risks and dangers his life would hold. Obviously took the same risks herself. Neither of them had to fight evil, yet they both made the choice to risk death to help others. That week on the train had been surreal. It had seemed like a fantasy. Time forgotten as they escaped into their own world. Now, though, there would be no train. They would be faced with reality at every turn. Could it work, he and Willow and love? When he first saw her, looking at him with those beautiful eyes, he had known that he had finally found his other half. Letting her go had been so difficult, but he had believed it was better for her, not involving her in his life and his struggle. He had found her again. Whether it was fate or chance or just plain old-fashioned luck, he wasn't sure. He only knew that he still wanted her, still needed her. And, damn it, he wasn't letting her go this time. With a determined look in his eyes and a small smile, he stood, picking up the keys and heading to the door. He had wasted enough time already.

********************

Lindsey looked at the house and sighed, running a hand through his hair as he walked up the sidewalk. There were lights on downstairs, but the curtains were closed, preventing him from looking inside. He raised his hand and knocked, shifting uncomfortably as he waited. When the door swung open, he relaxed. "I finally got the right one."

Buffy looked at the man standing on her porch, studying him as she heard his words. She had spent the last two hours holding Willow as her best friend had alternated between crying and sitting silently in shock. The cause of Willow's trauma was now standing before her, looking a bit disheveled in an entirely attractive way. His eyes, though, were as miserable and uncertain as Willow's. She kept the door mostly shut, not wanting to allow him access to her house if he just planned to hurt Willow more. "Right what?"

"House," he muttered, giving a pained smile. "I checked the phone book for Rosenberg, but the only one listed was a dark house. So I then looked up Summers. There are twelve listings, this one being seventh on the list."

"You went to seven places looking for her?" Buffy asked, relenting slightly as she found herself smiling at his persistence.

"This is the eighth," he said, asking, "Is she here?"

"That depends," Buffy replied, watching him for any hints to his intentions.

"I know that you just met me, Buffy, but please trust me," he asked, glad that Willow had such a devoted best friend but also frustrated that said best friend was now keeping him from the woman that he loved.

"Why should I, Lindsey?" she asked, keeping her voice quiet. "All I know is that you left Willow alone at the train station, that you put her through hell the last two months, and that she hasn't stopped crying since we left the magic shop. So far, there aren't many reasons for me to trust you."

"I love her," he said softly as he looked directly into the slayer's blue eyes. "She makes my life something worth living. I need her."

"She does that to you, doesn't she?" Buffy asked with a small smile. "She's my best friend, Watcher boy. I'd do anything for her. If you make her cry again, I'll torture you. Got it?"

"Torture from a slayer is not something that I ever wish to experience, Buffy," he said with a small smile before growing serious, "I love her."

"Quit telling me that," she said with a soft smile as she moved to let him in. "She's the one that needs to hear it. I'm going to the movie, to join the others and give you two some privacy. Dawn and I will be back in two hours. If she needs me sooner, she has my number. I'm trusting you, Lindsey. Don't let me down."

"I won't," he promised.

"Good," she smiled as she got her coat from the hanger. "She was in the kitchen when you knocked. See you in a bit."

Lindsey watched the slayer leave before he shut the door, taking a deep breath as he headed towards the living room, hoping that words wouldn't fail him this time. He had no intention of losing her again.

********************

Willow was searching through cabinets when she heard a sound behind her. She didn't look back, figuring that her friend had come looking for her after she had been gone so long. "Buffy, it looks like we're out of popcorn. I've checked everywhere and can't find a single bag. We need to add it to the grocery list."

"I'll be sure to let Buffy know, when she gets back."

Willow jumped when she heard the voice, raising her head and banging it on the shelf above. She cursed at the sharp pain and moved her hand to rub the bump as she pulled out of the cabinet. She was hearing things. She closed her eyes, counting to ten before she opened them and turned. She froze when she realized that it had, indeed, been Lindsey. Shocked, she asked the first thing that entered her mind, "What are you doing here?"

"You're here," he said simply, watching the many emotions flicker over her face. She was still so very beautiful, but he could see circles under her eyes that hadn't been there before. He felt a flash of guilt as he realized that he had caused them. She must not have been sleeping well. He could understand that, waking and reaching for her only to find his bed empty.

"Buffy?" she asked, knowing her friend had let Lindsey in and then left, many ways of killing said best friend floating into her mind as she found herself unable to look away from Lindsey's blue eyes.

"She went to get someone named Dawn," he said, resisting the urge to go to her and hold her, knowing that they needed to talk before he touched her. Once he touched her, he wouldn't be letting go.

"Her sister," Willow explained, thinking for a moment how grown she was. Standing in the kitchen, having a pleasant conversation with the man she loved, with the man that had left her months ago. There were no tears, no hysterics. She was scared and confused, but it was just so nice to see him that she didn't want to ruin the experience.

"Oh," he said, shifting in place as her green eyes pinned him to the spot. He glanced at the floor and gathered his thoughts before looking back at her. He cleared his throat, "Willow, about earlier."

"Don't," she held up a hand as she shook her head, not wanting him to feel like he had to defend his actions. She had no claim on him, she knew. It had been a week out of their lives. A week with someone they never expected to see again. Some horrible twist of fate had brought him back into her life, but she didn't want him to feel obligated about anything. "It was a surprise. We'll just leave it at that."

"No, we won't," he spoke up finally, seeing her look at him with surprise and smiling slightly. Last time, he hadn't been able to speak. This time, though, he had found his voice and he wasn't leaving until she listened to him.

********************

"That's so romantic!" Dawn said with a sigh as Buffy finished talking.

"Our Willow?" Xander repeated for the hundredth time in the last half hour. Buffy had met them as they had been leaving the movie, suggesting they all go to the diner for a bite to eat. After they had sat, Anya had brought up the handsome stranger they had seen at the magic store. It was then that Buffy had told them the story. He still couldn't believe their Willow had began a relationship with some stranger, knowing she'd never see him again. It wasn't at all like Willow, and it still surprised him. He'd barely been able to process most of what Buffy had said, still stuck on the fact that his best friend, his very intelligent and rational best friend, had jumped into bed with a complete stranger. It was dangerous and stupid, not to mention an obvious route to heartbreak. He now understood Willow's behavior the last few weeks, relieved in a way that it wasn't anything more serious.

"Yes, our Willow," Buffy said as she rolled her eyes. Why did they find it so hard to believe that Willow had acted with her heart instead of her head? The redhead tended to be cautious, not much of a risk taker, but she'd always been rather passionate and brave behind it all. Buffy knew, in her heart, that it had to be something special for Willow to have jumped in like that. Seeing Lindsey this evening, his eyes, well, she knew that it was something right.

"He was very handsome," Anya said slowly, thinking about the slayer's words. "He seemed surprised to see her, but not in a bad way."

"I think it's fantastic," Dawn said with a large smile. "Willow is the best person I know and she deserves to be happy. It's fate, bringing them together again. They belong together!"

"Buff, you talked to him," Xander said, making a face at Dawn's schoolgirl thoughts of the relationship before looking at his other best friend. "Will he hurt her?"

Buffy sighed, thinking about it, "Xander, he loves her. I do believe that. And she loves him. More than I've ever seen her love anyone. After just one week! I hate to agree with Dawn, but they are starting to make me believe in fate. Maybe, just maybe, they do belong together. I love Willow more than anyone and I want to see her happy. He makes her happy. That's good enough for me."

"Okay," he agreed finally. "I'll give him a chance, have a talk with him myself."

"You will not," Anya said, smacking his arm and glaring at him. "Willow is an adult. You are not her parent. The way he looked at her, at the store, he loves her. So quit being the overprotective big brother and be the happy best friend."

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a slight smile, deciding that he'd still have that man to man talk, he just wouldn't tell the girls.

"Xander and Anya are together. Now we'll have Lindsey and Willow. Guess that leaves just you and me, sis," Dawn said, slightly jealous of her friends for having such loving relationships while she was alone, not even dating anyone.

"I so don't want a relationship at this point in my life," Buffy said sincerely, choosing her words carefully because she knew that Dawn wanted to fall in love like most teenage girls. "You'll find someone, Dawny, and then it will just be me enjoying the non-coupled life."

"You think I will?" Dawn asked with a smile before shrugging, "Hey, who knows? It will happen when it should, and not a minute before. Until then, at least I'm in good company."

"I think I'll take that as a compliment," Buffy shared a smile with her sister before looking at her friends. "Anyone up for a quick patrol?"

"Count us in," Xander said, looking at the table and smiling, "After we eat, though, Buff. Can't slay vampires on an empty stomach."

"Any excuse to eat, Xan," Buffy said with a laugh as they began to eat and tell her about the movie she had missed.

********************

Willow was slightly taken aback at Lindsey's words. She had assumed he'd jump at the chance to let everything stay in the past and start fresh. She frowned as she struggled to find the right words to say. She was hanging by a thread, a thin one at that, and just wanted him to leave so she could be miserable alone. She didn't want him to see her cry. In the end, she didn't say anything. She just gave him a look that she hoped said for him to hurry up and leave.

Lindsey glanced around the kitchen and suggested, "Maybe we could go to the living room. I really hate to have this talk in the kitchen."

"This is fine," Willow said, hoping he'd just leave. She leaned against the counter, the pain in her head gone as she lowered her head. She saw his eyes narrow and knew she had surprised him. He had thought she'd give in and do whatever he wanted. Well, good. Let him be surprised for once. "I'm sure it won't take long, so let's just get it over with."

"All right," he agreed, knowing just how stubborn she could be and not wanting to argue. "I guess this is as good a place as any to tell you."

"Tell me what?" she asked, slightly curious despite herself.

He looked at her and smiled, catching her eyes as he said softly, "I love you, Willow."

"What?" she asked, certain she must have heard him wrong. He was supposed to be telling her that the train was a one time thing, that he wanted to move on and forget it had happened. He couldn't have said what she had heard him say.

"I love you," he said again, seeing the astonishment in her eyes. "I have ever since I sat down across from you and you smiled."

"But, you left without even looking back," she protested, conflicted at which emotion to feel.

"Can we please sit down?" he asked, knowing that he had to do some explaining and not wanting to do it standing in the kitchen.

"I need to sit," she said, moving past him into the living room. She had worked it all out in her head, had figured out exactly what would be said the next awkward time they met. She had not expected him to find her or say that he loved her. Could it possibly be true? Could he have been as affected by that week as she had been? She sat down, still too shocked to really speak. When he sat down in a chair across from the sofa she was sitting on, she looked at him and asked the question that had been eating away at her mind for weeks, "Why did you leave me?"

"It's complicated," he said softly, hating the look of hurt that was still evident in her eyes. This was one time where the words I love you would not be enough. Not that he had ever used the words before anyway. He'd never fallen into the trap of being in love. He'd always been too busy with school then his career. Now, he was completely lost as to what to say or do.

"You say you love me, that you've loved me since that first day on the train," she spoke slowly, thinking as she spoke, "but you left me. Lindsey, you left me there without even a glance back."

"I looked back," he said softly, "I saw you crying and wanted nothing more than to go back and hold you. But I couldn't, Willow. It's not a pretty story, but I'm going to be completely honest with you. I want you to know everything, the good and the bad. I can't lose you again."

"Tell me," she said quietly, still wondering why he had left her if he was in love with her.

********************

"I was a lawyer in LA," Lindsey began, knowing that she already knew some of what he would say, but needing to tell it his way, "I had a very good position with the firm, was excellent in my field, was going to make partner one day, already had the big office and huge salary. I thought I had it all."

"You mentioned that on the train," she said, knowing that he had spoken of his past hardly at all, but she had known he was a lawyer and that he had worked in LA.

"The firm I worked for, Willow, we had demons among our clients," he said, catching her eyes. "Not all of them were bad, but most that I worked with were pure evil. As their lawyer, I did whatever necessary to protect my clients and their interests. I've done things that I can't apologize for. I can't go back and erase any of it. I had power and money and would have done anything to keep it. Last year, I met someone that opened my eyes, in a way. He forced me into seeing what I had become, what my future was going to be. I didn't like it, Willow. I hated him for making me realize that I had become someone I hated. I fought it for months, tried to ignore the fact that I was losing my focus, that money and power were losing their value. Finally, I accepted that it was no longer the most important thing."

"So you quit?" she asked, wondering how possible it was for them to meet that day on the train, with his knowledge of demons and her own. The chances were so slight that she didn't think she could even name a number. How, then, did they end up sharing a compartment on the train? She was beginning to believe that Dawn's ideas of fate and soulmates might actually exist. Hell, if vampires were real, why couldn't fate be?

"I quit," he looked at the floor. "I left LA, I had to get away to think, to figure out what I wanted and who I was." He looked back at her and smiled, "When we met, the watcher's council had contacted me. They wanted me to come to Boston to meet them, wanted to hire me as their attorney. As I said, I was damn good at my job, AM good at my job. But, I wasn't sure if they wanted me, if the interview would go well. When we met, I was unemployed and nearly broke. When I first looked into your eyes, there was a connection between us. Something that I couldn't explain, that I didn't understand. If you must know, I was scared. I've never been in love before, still have no idea what to do or say. Every day that we spent together, it was new to me. By the end of the trip, I honestly didn't know how I was going to live without you."

"I had no idea," she whispered honestly. She'd assumed it had just been a fling. Though, at times, she would catch him looking at her or smiling a smile that made her wonder if he could be feeling what she had felt.

"I'm a lawyer, Willow. We're pretty good actors," he smiled sheepishly, "I couldn't let you know. If you had asked me to stay, I would have. I couldn't risk it. I wasn't in a position to be with you. Unemployed and broke, the things your parents always warn you about."

"Mine never warned me about anything," she said, "I don't care about money, Lindsey. You say you changed, but you still let power and money drive you away from me. I don't know if I can risk it all again. I love you so much. Since that day, my life has seemed empty, like I was missing something. I can't explain it, but I felt complete when we were together. Today, when I thought you had come for me, I can't even describe the happiness I felt. You had found me, somehow, someway, you had tracked me. When I realized that you had been sent here, it was the same loss and hurt all over. I can't do that again, Lindsey."

"It wasn't just the money," he said, leaning over to take her hand. "It was me. I wasn't ready for you, Willow. It was so fresh, my leaving the firm. I wasn't sure who I was, what my life was going to be. It wouldn't have been fair to either of us if I had stayed. It wasn't the time. I had to find myself, learn who Lindsey MacDonald really was before I could share myself with someone else. I love you, Willow, and hate that I caused you pain. Tonight, it was a shock to see you again. I thought it was just another dream. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of you, that I haven't reached for you in the night, that I haven't wanted to hold you and kiss you and just hear your voice or see you smile. I'm still dealing with my past, in here," he moved their joined hands to his head, "but I'm yours here," he moved their hands to his heart, "if you want me."

"I don't know," she said softly, feeling tears on her cheeks as she cried silently.

"I can understand," he said with a sigh as his hopeful smile faded.

"Lindsey," she caught his attention as she gave him a gentle smile, "we probably both made mistakes, that day. Maybe it just wasn't the time. Now, though, letting you leave would be the greatest mistake of my life. I love you so much."

"What are you saying?" he asked, the hopeful look entering his eyes as she laughed softly.

"To be a lawyer, you sure don't read people well," she laughed, "I want you, silly boy. I love you."

He smiled as he pulled her to him, kissing her deeply as she sat on his leg. They never heard the door open or the short conversation that took place in whispers before Dawn and Buffy went upstairs to give them privacy. Buffy looked back one time and smiled, glad to see that her best friend was going to get her happy ending before she ushered Dawn up the stairs.

THE END