Inell's Fanfiction Archive

"Honey?"

Xander turned as he heard his wife's soft voice. "Over here, babe."

Anya Harris moved to his side and took his hand. She glanced at the tombstone then back at his face, "You OK?"

"Yeah. Didn't mean to be gone so long," he said sheepishly, looking at his wife of two months. "It's just, you know."

She smiled as she leaned her head against his shoulder, "Yeah, I know. It's her birthday."

"Would have been," he amended, looking back at the tombstone. "She's been gone for eight months, Anya. Eight months! And I never got to say goodbye."

"I'm sure she knows you come to see her," Anya said, knowing that Xander's only true regret was having his best friend die before he could make up their petty argument.

"Ya think?" he asked smiling at that idea.

"Hey there newlyweds," Buffy said as she came up behind them.

"Harris, Anya," Riley said with a smile as he nodded at his friends.

Buffy moved past them, leaning over and putting flowers on Willow's tombstone. She leaned her head against the marble and whispered in conversation as tears flowed from her eyes.

"Riley. Figured we'd see you two here sooner or later," Xander said.

Buffy straightened up and wiped her face before turning to face them. She smiled as she went towards Riley, "It's hard to believe she's been gone for eight months."

"I know. She'd be twenty today," Xander said, sighing as he kissed the top of Anya's head.

"No crying," Buffy said, determination in her eyes. "She wouldn't want us to be sad."

"You're right. Wills would want us to remember her with laughter, not tears," Xander said.

"I just wish," Buffy started to say before Riley interrupted.

"Stop it," he said, looking at his girlfriend. "You can't go and take it all back. You were all fighting when she died but there were years of friendship before that. I'm sure she knows you loved her."

"Doesn't help make me wish we hadn't had that fight," Buffy said, frowning. "You know what's worse? I can't even remember what we fought about. I just remember her being upset and pushing us all away. I'm sure we'd done something but I can't remember what."

"I hate that she died in such pain," Anya said quietly. "Fire is such a horrible way to die."

"Don't," Xander said, his tone warning. He had done his best to forget how she had died, wanting to think she had died before the fire rather than burning to death.

"Happy faces people," Buffy said with a forced smile. "It's Will's birthday. Why don't we go out and celebrate? Have a drink for her, wherever she is now."

"We can go to that new Italian restaurant," Riley said. "Mancuso's that opened up over on Main."

"Willow loved Italian," Buffy said, smiling. "That's a great choice."

Xander moved towards Willow's tombstone, straightening the flowers and whispering, "Rest easy, friend," before he stood and joined the others.

******************

"I love it!" Willow said as she leaned over and hugged the old man tightly.

"Aw, sugar, don't hold me too tight or Faith will kick my ass," Walter said with a wink at the brunette.

"Wouldn't waste my time, old man," Faith shot back, watching her lover sit back down.

"Children, no fighting. After all, this is a celebration," Nikita said in an amused voice.

"Yes, Mom," Faith and Walter sang back, sticking their tongues out at the blonde.

Willow just laughed, putting the gun back in its case, "Faith, be nice."

"Whatcha gonna do if I'm not?" Faith asked, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively at the redhead.

"And can I watch?" Birkoff asked, pushing his glasses up and leering affectionately at them.

"You know, Seymour, one of these days we're gonna say yes and you'll piss your pants," Willow said, smirking at him.

"Birkoff, and no I wouldn't," he defended.

"Yes, you would," Michael said, fighting the smile that threatened. "Then you'd faint."

"Can I play with your gun?" Faith asked, leaning over and kissing Willow lightly. "Can I?" she asked again, running her tongue over Willow's lips.

"Ahem," Nikita cleared her throat, rather used to the girls' affectionate displays after the past half a year. It had been nearly two weeks after Willow had been brought into Section before both girls had taken their relationship to the next step. They'd been together since, going through training and now living in an apartment just down the hall from her and Michael. "Willow, presents."

"I think opening presents is a good idea," Willow said, smiling at her friends. She glanced at Faith, "We'll finish this later."

"Promises, promises," Faith said, winking at her lover before handing her the next gift.

"You both do realize that we have to leave in less than an hour to meet Madeline and Operations," Birkoff said, wanting Willow to open his gift. He'd had her laptop upgraded with several new toys he'd been testing out for section.

"They can wait," Willow said with a smile. "It's just dinner. Besides, I'd rather be here with you guys."

"It's Italian," Michael reminded with a slight smile.

"That's the surprise?" Willow said, smiling. "Well damn. Why didn't you say something earlier? We can come back here and finish with the presents, can't we?"

"How did I know she was going to say that?" Birkhoff whined.

"Italian versus gifts? Geez, B. I dunno," Faith said, rolling her eyes. "Lover, maybe they can come back here for dessert. IF they don't take up too much time. I've got plans for you myself."

"Plans, huh?" Willow said, smirking. "I think you'll be surprised how fast I can open gifts, babe."

"Nothing you do would surprise me," Faith said honestly. "Now, what's this about dinner?"

"We should go," Michael said, getting to his feet. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave."

"For Italian food, I could even put up with conversation with Ops," Willow said with a wink at the handsome Frenchman.

"Damn, it's nice being back home," Faith said as the group left her and Willow's apartment.

"What? You don't miss those bugs and snakes?" Willow asked with a smile, remembering their last mission into South America. The one they had just gotten back from not two days earlier, just in time for her twentieth birthday.

"I liked the snakes, but I hate bugs. Do miss the birds though," Faith said, thinking of the few hours after the mission had been completed that they had made love in a small tent, listening to various birds.

Willow smiled softly, kissing Faith tenderly as they waited for the elevator. "I love you, baby."

"Love you too, hon," Faith said, brushing a lock of red hair from Willow's face.

"Aw, how touching," Birkhoff said with a snort of laughter as he and Walter laughed.

"I'm getting misty," Walter said.

"Can I kill them?" Faith asked, giving the two men a glare. "I can make it painless."

"No killing tonight," Nikita said with a laugh. "Leave that for the missions."

"Happy birthday, Willow," Faith said, winking at her lover as they followed their new family into the elevator.

"Yeah, happy birthday to me," Willow said softly, smiling as she leaned against Faith.

********************

Willow walked into the briefing room, taking the empty seat beside Birkhoff. She smiled slightly at him before turning her attention to the tall man standing in front of them. Paul Wolfe was pacing back and forth, a thoughtful look on his face. She almost groaned, knowing from experience that Paul and thoughtful rarely meant good news for the others. She leaned forward and glanced to her right, catching Faith's eyes. She made a face, watching her lover nod and roll her eyes. She sighed, sitting back in her chair as they waited. Michael had not arrived yet. Since there was an empty chair beside Nikita, she knew the Frenchman must be the other member of their team. She heard the door open accompanied by his soft apology for being tardy. She looked back at Operations, waiting for their newest assignment.

"Good. You're all here now," Paul said, facing his best operatives. True, Willow and Faith were fairly new, but their progress had proven them better than other operatives of their stature. They had finished training in record time, even beating Michael's record from ten years earlier. He had no explanations nor did anyone else. They took to their positions as if they had spent years performing the same tasks. It was because of their mission record that they were now in this room. They also worked amazingly well with Nikita and Michael as well as Birkhoff, a fact that he knew stemmed from easy friendship outside of Section.

"We have become aware of activity that concerns us," Madeline said, leaning back in her chair and watching the others.

"We believe that a faction has broken away from Red Cell led by this man," Operations clicked the button and a face appeared on the panel. "Nicolo Raskioni. Intel pin points a location in California as a new base of operations for this group that appear to be calling themselves Black Knights."

"Are they endorsed by Red Cell?" Michael asked.

"No. It would seem that there was an argument internally and Nicolo broke away. He took several top agents with him. So far the Knights have been credited with three attacks on embassies throughout the Middle East," Madeline explained.

"Why California?" Faith asked, having never been sent on a mission in the States.

"That is a very good question that we do not have a definite answer for," Operations said. "We have had sightings in L.A. and San Francisco of Nicolo and several known agents. All sources point to a small town in between L.A. and San Francisco."

"This situation is a bit more delicate than others," Madeline said suddenly, looking at both Faith and Willow. "The town in question is Sunnydale."

"What?" Willow said sharply. "You can't send us there. We're dead."

"You are the best that we have," Madeline said. "We are hoping that the recon will take only a few days and that you can manage to conceal yourselves from former acquaintances."

"You don't get it," Faith said. "Willow grew up in that town. To them, she died in a fire. If they think she's alive, they won't rest until they find out if she's really alive. You'd be getting into a whole different ball game roaming around Sunnydale anyway. That is not a town you want to be exploring."

"This is rather unusual," Michael said softly, watching his boss. "You are taking a great risk."

"I will not kill them if they see me," Willow said, her eyes narrowing. "No one will kill them or they deal with me."

"I would not be taking the risk if it was not necessary. Believe me," Operations said. "I understand that this will be a bit different, but I am positive that you will fulfill the assignment without difficulty."

"What is the assignment, exactly?" Nikita asked.

"Mostly recon and intel. We are going to remove the Knights from play but we want to make sure they are acting separate from Red Cell. It will not benefit anyone to start a new round to that particular war," Operations said.

"And you have to send Willow and Faith?" Birkhoff asked, wondering why the best in Section were being sent on what seemed like a rather basic mission.

"We need the best. This mission needs to be carried out with precision and accuracy. We must remove the threat from American soil. The implications this could bring are astounding. If we give them any hint of detection before we are ready to strike, they could lash out at either LA or San Francisco with ease. We have no idea what weapons are at their disposal, or what their mission truly is. We just know that whatever they have planned, Red Cell did not want to take part in," Operations said.

"Great. And all this is being done in Sunnydale?" Faith asked, glancing at Willow and sharing a look. Was it Section oriented or Slayer oriented? With the Hellmouth as their base of operations, one would suspect that Nicolo was either of the unhuman variety or working with demons of some sort. But, she had learned over the past months that there were a variety of monsters that were completely human. Nothing surprised her anymore.

"It appears so," Madeline said. "Could something of that magnitude actually be operating in a town that size?"

"Oh yeah," Willow said. "People in Sunnydale rarely see anything. They could have an entire army hiding out there and no one would ever notice."

"You will all leave tomorrow for Sunnydale. You will report to us daily, Michael so that we are aware of your progress. When we are more aware of the exact nature of the situation, we shall form a plan of action. Until then, consider this intel gathering," Operations said.

"And if run into someone we knew?" Faith asked, hating that Willow was being forced into going back home as a ghost of sorts.

"You no longer know them," Operations said, "unless you want them at risk."

"We'll deal with that if it happens," Willow said sharply, studying him silently until he squirmed. She smiled, "We'll do our best to remain hidden. They won't know we're there."

"Good," Paul said, nodding. "Dismissed."

********************

"Does anyone else find this entire set up a bit odd?" Birkhoff asked as he began unloading his computer equipment.

"What? The five of us being sent to do something as random as Intel gathering? Nah, why would we think that was odd?" Faith asked in a sarcastic tone as she set down the last box of materials.

"It is a delicate matter and they want only the best to handle it," Michael said softly, surveying the room that would house their base of operations for the next few days.

"Michael, even you can admit it's unusual to send not one but two operatives back to a town that believes them dead," Nikita said as she started to empty the first box.

"Unusual, but not unheard of," he said, pausing to consider. "I do not believe this is a trap."

"Neither do I, but I don't trust Ops or Maddy," Faith said. "There had to be something they weren't telling us."

"Of course there was," Willow said from where she was hooking up the second computer. "When have they ever been completely honest with us?"

"Honesty and Operations don't really fit in the same sentence," Birkhoff said with a wry laugh.

"And think about it. Birky was sent with us, in the field. You guys know he rarely gets sent to the field," Willow pointed out.

"I do too get sent to the field," he defended before looking at the others and their expressions. "Well, I do sometimes."

"No, there's something about this guy or this group that scares them," Willow said.

"We have faced far deadlier organizations in the past," Michael said. "From the Intel we were given, Nicolo Raskioni is operating with less than a dozen and a half people. The more accurate numbers indicate less than a dozen. That is hardly a threat that would frighten Operations."

"Ever the loyal section man," Nikita said with a small smile. She looked at Willow and nodded, "I noticed that...the underlying fear. They don't know who this guy is or what he's prepared to do to achieve his agenda. Given that he has made the United States his base of operations, well, I can understand their concern."

"A wildcard," Faith said. "They seemed worried that he'd go psycho and blow up LA or something."

"We will be careful in our digging. We do not want to trigger any alarm before it is time to make a move," Michael said, looking pointedly at Faith.

"What?" Faith asked, giving him a wink. "Fine, Daddy. I won't kill anyone until the order is given."

"I'll keep her in line," Willow said with a smile as she looked at her lover. "Quit teasing Michael, Faith. You know he doesn't handle humor well."

"Seriously," Nikita said as she finished laughing at the outraged look on Michael's face, "girls, you are both going to need to be extra careful on this mission. If someone you once knew sees you, you know that Section will not hesitate in eliminating the threat."

"No one will see us," Willow said with a determined look. "Hopefully we won't be here long enough to worry anyway."

"Yeah, I'm voting for finding out what this guy is up to and taking him down then getting the fuck out of here," Faith said, making a face. "Sunnydale and I so do not have good memories of each other."

Nikita knew that Faith had been in prison for murdering the aide of the mayor of Sunnydale when she was brought in to Section. She had never asked the brunette for details of what had happened, knowing it was none of her business. In section, past did not exist. The present was the only concern as the future was never predictable. Yet, here in this town that held secrets to her two friends' lives, she found she was a bit curious. She had often heard them mention stray things that led her to believe that Faith had tried to kill Willow at one time. That, in fact, they had hated each other until after Faith was in prison. Now, seeing them together and the obvious depth of love that existed between them, she found it hard to believe they would ever be on opposite sides of a fight. It was funny how time could change things. "I second that motion. I don't really like this town."

"It was rather creepy," Birkhoff said as he successfully installed the last of his equipment. "All those cemeteries? We must have passed a dozen at least. In a town this size, that's weird."

"You don't know the half of it," Faith muttered as she looked at Willow. She saw green eyes widen and asked, "What is it, babe?"

"I'm buried in one of those cemeteries," Willow said, smiling slightly at the strangeness of the situation. "I've got a tombstone that says rest in peace or some other appropriate saying. It's kind of weird, you know?"

Faith smiled, "Why don't we go take a look? I mean, we've pretty much got this stuff set up. Not much else we can do until tomorrow."

"I don't think that is a good idea," Michael said with a frown. "Going to look at your own grave?"

"You girls are wacked out," Birkhoff said as he rolled his eyes. "I'm going upstairs to go to sleep. I'm beat."

"Wimp," Faith said as she stuck her tongue out at him. "Be sure to be asleep by the time we get back, Seymour, or you might never go to sleep."

"Faith!" he said, his face turning red as he realized that he was indeed in the room next door to the girls. "I would never listen to you two. Damn, you're both my friends."

"With how loud Faith gets, I doubt you'd have to try to listen to hear her," Willow said with a wink at her lover.

"Me? Don't even be talking about loudness, little girl," Faith said with a teasing smile.

"Sleep. Bed. Tired," Birkhoff mumbled as he headed up the stairs.

"You two are horrible," Nikita said laughing as she glared at them both.

"If you insist on going out," Michael started. Finally, he sighed, "As if I could stop either of you in the first place. Do at least be careful. We are on a mission."

"Yes, Dad. Mission. Check. Careful. Check," Willow said with an impish smile.

"Willow," Nikita warned, seeing the nerve in Michael's cheek begin to pulse.

"Sorry, Mom," Willow said, winking at the blonde. "I'll quit teasing Daddy now."

"Come on, honey. Let's go see your grave," Faith said, pulling Willow from the room with a smile. She was actually hoping to find some vamps to dust. It had been too long since she'd kill something of the non-human variety. Besides, slaying always made her horny. Willow naked in a cemetery was something her strangely perverse mind had often imagined back when she'd been slaying alongside Buffy. Now, it was finally going to happen. "Bye guys."

"Remind me to never have children," Michael said to Nikita, his eyes flashing softly as he thought of Adam. "Female children that is."

Nikita laughed, seeing the flicker in his eyes and knowing that he was thinking of his son. "Come on, Daddy. Let's go upstairs and see if we can give Seymour a reason not to sleep."

"I do believe you've spent too much time with Faith and Willow," Michael said stoically. He smiled as he reached for her, "I think I like it," he whispered before he caught her lips with his.

********************

Buffy walked through the dark streets, her hazel eyes searching the shadows for any signs of danger. Strangely, the streets were empty. She hadn't stumbled upon across a vampire in three days. Usually, that would be a good thing. But, it was making her nervous. Riley thought she was being silly, that she should be glad that things were quiet. He just didn't get it. Quiet usually meant something was brewing. She knew it was pretty pathetic that she couldn't relax when things were slow. She'd just been trained too well, she guessed. She had to laugh out loud at that thought. Her well trained? Maybe this relaxing thing was making her insane.

She turned left at Maple, deciding to make one last walk through before going home. She stretched, making a mental note to start working out more. She was getting out of shape. Too much ice cream and not enough slaying. She had gotten sloppy since Willow's death. Even now she felt guilty for whatever argument had taken her away from her friend. She couldn't even remember what it had been about which made it worse. She distantly remembered something about Faith's suicide then Willow had just pushed them all away. It hadn't made sense then and it didn't make sense now. She'd never have the answers either, so there was no point dwelling on it. She just knew that after Willow had died, she'd almost hit bottom. Her best friend had died. She hadn't been able to save her. She was the damn slayer. That was supposed to mean something, wasn't it? She was supposed to protect her friends, keep them safe from all the nasties. Only, it hadn't been nasties that had killed Willow. It had been a fire caused by faulty wiring, or so said the experts. To this day, Buffy didn't believe that. It was all just a bit too neat, too packaged. Of course, everyone had thought she was dealing with grief in her own way. Now, she had to admit that it did sound far-fetched. There was no one that could have wanted Willow dead. In the back of her mind, she still had some doubts, but nothing was going to bring Willow back so there was no point in imagining more to it than bad wiring.

Realizing that she couldn't have saved Willow had not really helped. She'd still had the guilt of not having said good-bye, of not ever telling Willow just how much she had meant to her all those years, of not ever letting Willow know that she had been the best friend Buffy could ever have wanted. Even now, eight months later, not a week went by that Buffy didn't go to Willow's grave just to talk to her friend. She missed that the most. The talks that she and Willow had had all those years. She regretted the last few months when she had been so wrapped up in Riley that she hadn't been there for Willow after the redhead had broken up with Tara. She shook her head, knowing there was no use to continue to dwell on past regrets.

She was near the end of Maple when she noticed it. She stopped, her eyes narrowing as she saw the dark shape move around the parameter of the house. She moved behind a tree, watching in curiosity. She recognized the house. It was a large three story at the end of a dead end street. There was a large amount of land behind the house that was covered in trees. It eventually merged with one of Sunnydale's parks. Her knowledge of the location gave her a moment of pause. She watched the shape move towards a dark sedan, pausing to look around before opening the door.

Buffy looked closely, seeing that the light from the car illuminated a normal looking face. No overt signs of demon or vampire. Still, she frowned. Something was not right here. The man had what appeared to be a weapon and he was looking around nervously. She didn't recognize him, but she was the first to admit that she hardly knew anyone in town. She did tend to remember faces though, and this one was that of a stranger. He was an older man, deep lines in his face. She could see that he had dark hair but couldn't tell his eye color. It was too far away. She memorized his face, deciding that she would consult Giles and see if this was some demon she was unaware of. She just got a bad vibe from him, from the whole house in fact. She frowned as she watched the car back out of the driveway, the headlights turning on and showing her another person dressed entirely in black patrolling the yard. What was so important that it needed guards to protect it? She would definitely be asking Giles about this.

She turned and remained hidden behind the tree as the car drove past. After it had turned, she moved from behind the tree. She started to walk away, casting one last glance at the house. Shaking her head, she broke into a jog, wanting to get away from that house. She decided that she would just go on home. Maybe take a soothing bath and do some studying or simply watch a movie with Riley. He rarely patrolled with her, at her urging, but he always waited up until she got home safely. She had to smile as she thought of her fiancé, deciding that maybe a soothing bath with him would be the best.

********************

Willow looked at the tombstone, shaking her head as she moved her arms across her chest. She jumped slightly when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking at her lover, she smiled softly.

"You OK?" Faith asked, moving to rest her chin on Willow's shoulder as her arms went around the redhead's waist.

"It's just kind of weird seeing my name," Willow said. "Back at Section, I tend to forget that to everyone else I'm dead. Seeing this, it's kind of hard to deal with."

"It wasn't your choice," Faith reminded. "You didn't have a choice. You know that it's better this way, them thinking you're dead."

"I know," Willow said. She caught Faith's eyes, "It is better, but it still makes me feel like shit. I know that they have no idea that I'm alive, but I know. Does that make any sense?"

Faith laughed, "Yeah, it does. I love you Willow. I also know you pretty well. You'd never intentionally hurt any of them. It's better if they believe you're dead. In a way, it's protecting them."

"Honestly, I've never really felt too bad about it," Willow said softly. "I know that probably makes me a horrible person, but it's the truth. I was just so happy to find you that I never realized what being brought into Section really meant to those back home. Sure, I've had times where I wonder how they are. Heck, I've checked up on them every few weeks. They moved on and so did I. But, now, seeing my own grave, it makes me feel guilty for not having felt guilty."

Faith laughed, "Will, you shouldn't feel guilty. As you said, they moved on. You died and they've continued to live. We aren't going to run into any of them here. We'll be careful. They'll continue to believe that you died last year. Nothing is going to change that."

"And if by chance they do see us? What then?" Willow asked.

"They won't see us," Faith said with a smile. "Quit worrying."

Willow laughed, "Fine. I'll trust you."

"It looks like they haven't forgotten you," Faith said softly, looking at the flowers that sat at the grave.

"No, they haven't," Willow shook her head, "Can we go somewhere else? This place is making me rather depressed."

"Yeah, I think we can mark this one off of our regular places to visit in Sunnydale," Faith said, finding it a bit odd to see her lover's name on the grave in front of them.

"I'd be happy not to return," Willow said, seeing that Nikita and Michael had been right, as usual. It was just too weird to see your own tombstone. "Maybe we could go for a walk, see if we find anything to report."

"But, Wills," Faith whined, moving her lover towards the entrance of the cemetery, "we just got here. We have to start working already?"

"The sooner we find something, the sooner we can go home," Willow said, smiling at Faith.

"Fine," Faith sighed, "we can work if we have to. BUT, I bet Nikita and Michael are shagging like bunnies....."

"You think?" Willow asked, smiling slightly. "Well, hell, we can't let them have all the fun."

"But what about work?" Faith asked with a smile.

"Work?" Willow shook her head, "Listen to you. Always wanting to work when we could be having fun....."

"Shagging like bunnies?" Faith asked with a wicked smile.

"Shagging like wild, crazed bunnies," Willow said with a promising smile.

"Race you back," Faith said with a laugh as she started to run. Willow just shook her head and followed after her lover, a smile on her pretty face.

********************

Buffy looked at her glass of orange juice, noticing idly that the pulp had risen to the top. She moved her finger along the rim of the cup, lost in thought. She hadn't been able to sleep the night before, something that was growing more and more common. Insomnia was a bitch, but for a slayer, it was hell. She was tired, her reaction time slightly slower than it should be. She had barely been sleeping an hour or two a day, if that, for the past few weeks. She had been considering taking something, some medication that would knock her out for a few hours of peaceful bliss, but she knew that was too dangerous. She couldn't make herself that vulnerable. So, instead, she worked out until the wee hours of the morning and then would usually just lay on the sofa and watch really awful sci-fi and horror movies from the fifties and sixties. Late night programming was not made for insomniacs, that was for sure.

The sound of a fist hitting the table made her jump, bringing her from her thoughts as she looked at Riley. He was frowning, his eyes concerned as they looked at her. She frowned back, "What was that? Some flashback to your caveman days?"

"You weren't listening, again," he muttered, studying her. "You weren't in bed this morning. Are you still not sleeping?"

"I slept," she lied easily, "on the couch. Got in late from patrol and just crashed downstairs."

"You're doing that a lot lately," Riley observed. "I think it's been nearly a week since I've woken up with you beside me."

"I'm sorry, hon," she said, her voice slightly irritated. She knew that it was silly not to tell him she couldn't sleep, but she didn't want him to worry anymore than he already did. It was probably just the time of year that was keeping her awake. It wasn't like she was having nightmares or even prophetic dreams in her sleep. No, usually there was nothing. Just empty space. In a way, that frightened her more than any nightmare ever could. She shook her head, giving him a smile, "I'll try to cut patrol early tonight. Get some quality time with you."

"It's not the sex, or lack thereof," he said. "You just seem, I don't know, not yourself."

"I'm sorry," she said again, sighing. "I don't really know what to say. I am still Buffy. I'm just Buffy that's been patrolling later and getting a bit more worn out and usually sleeping on the sofa rather than climb the stairs up to bed. Like I said, I'll do a short patrol tonight. Would that make you happy?"

"You confiding in me would make me happy," he said, catching her eyes and keeping contact. "We're engaged, Buffy. You can tell me what's bothering you. I'll help."

"You can't help," she said patiently. "But thank you for the offer."

"Buffy," he started, realizing that every conversation he had tried having with her for nearly a month had ended this way, with her brushing him off and going back into her mind.

Buffy stood abruptly, "Riley, just drop it. I'm going out...I'll see you later."

"Running again, Buffy?" he said, annoyed with her attitude. "Don't tell me, let me guess. Going to talk to Willow, AGAIN? She is the only one that you seem interested in having a conversation with. Pretty ironic, since she's dead!"

Buffy turned and face him, her eyes flashing, "Actually, yes, I'm going to the cemetery to talk to Willow. She may be dead, but she's still the only person that will listen!"

"Because you won't let anyone else try," he shot back, running a hand through his hair. He loved Buffy Summers, but it was getting more and more difficult to deal with her.

"You wouldn't understand," she said, making a gesture. "Willow is...was my center. She keeps me grounded. Talking to her, even if it is just a headstone, it helps. I can sometimes even hear her answering me in that Willow-like way, making me see things with clear eyes. As much as I love you, you can't do that. She can."

"You're talking to yourself out there, Buff," he said, a bit angry at her words. "She's gone. Dead and buried. Hell, I know you feel guilty about that fight you two had before she died, but this isn't going to bring her back. This little dependence you have on her is ridiculous. You could sit here and talk to the TV and get as much input as you do from her grave."

"I'm leaving," she said simply, not wanting to waste the time arguing with him. He didn't understand. They'd have this conversation, not the exact words but similar, several times over the months since Willow's death. In the beginning, he had seemed to understand, or at least pretended that he did. As time went by, he was growing more and more unreasonable about her simply visiting her friend's grave. She sighed, knowing that anyone would side with him in this.

"You can talk to me, you know," he said, watching her shake her head. "Buffy, please."

"I love you," she said with a smile as she grabbed her coat. "I'll be back later."

She left the apartment, running a hand through her thick light brown hair as she moved down the stairs. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. A slow smile crossed her face as she began to walk, enjoying the slight early morning chill that followed the hours after dawn. She pulled her coat a bit tighter around her body as she headed for the supermarket. She'd stop and buy some flowers before going to talk to Willow. Maybe some carnations, she decided. Willow had always liked carnations. Then, she'd go and tell her friend about her patrol the night before and that house that had really bugged her. Maybe she'd get some idea what she should do by talking about it with Willow. Well, with Willow's grave, she amended with a sad smile. Shaking her head, she began a slow jog as she headed towards the store, pushing away everything from her mind except the smells and feelings around her.

********************

"Have you found anything?"

"Negative. All's quiet. You?"

Willow sighed, shooting a scowl at the small radio she held in the palm of her hand, "Nothing."

"We still have several sites to investigate," Faith's voice said, "and then we'll rendezvous at the meeting point."

Willow had to laugh, "Rendezvous at the meeting point? Been watching too many action movies, babe."

"Ahem," Michael cleared his throat, his blue eyes giving Willow a warning, "we must keep the channel open for communications, not for flirting."

"Tell Mikey to go sit on it," Faith said, laughing before she sighed, "Uh oh, Niki's giving me the evil eye too. Guess that means we get back to work."

"Let us know if you two find anything," Willow said before hitting the small button on the top left of her com unit and tucking it back in her pocket. She moved up beside Michael, looking over his shoulder at the small map he held in his large, gloved hands. "Where should we check next?"

Michael shrugged, "Pick somewhere. So far, my guesses have been far from accurate."

"Hmm....If I was the leader of some secret terrorist gang, where would I have our main station," Willow said out loud, smiling slightly as Michael snickered. She always felt rather proud when she made the quiet Frenchman laugh. He was always so serious and stoic, even when he was relaxing. Nikita was good for him, though, often causing those private smiles that lovers shared. She had heard stories from Walter and Birkhoff about Michael BN, before Nikita, and was glad that she had met him after he had met the blonde operative.

She studied the remaining marks on their map, knowing that none of the three appeared to be good choices. Birkhoff had broken Sunnydale into six different areas, concentrating his research on sites that could logically house an operation. Unfortunately, in Sunnydale, the town of dozens of huge rambling estates, empty warehouses and dead end streets, those parameters had still given them more than forty possible locations. Since they had no idea if there were innocents involved in a cover up, they had to search them all. Unless they got really lucky, it would probably take them a week to just find the exact location before they could even begin their strategy. She drew her bottom lip into her mouth as she finally pointed, "There. I know that street and can't see them staying hidden around it, but it's the best shot of the three."

"We shall see," Michael said, folding the map and putting it in his breast pocket. He moved ahead of the redhead slightly, keeping him between her and any danger that may approach from the front. He was fully aware that she could take care of herself, but it was instinct to protect his friend.

"Birky, this is Will," Willow said into her phone as she followed Michael, her green eyes darting around them as they walked. Her red hair was tucked underneath a black cap, but a few stray pieces kept getting in her face. She scowled as she pushed them under her cap, waiting for the young computer genius to respond.

"Red, you got me."

"You wish," she said, snorting as he insulted her. In many ways, Seymour Birkhoff had taken the place in her life left open after she had lost Xander. He was obnoxious, annoying, thought he was funny and was in most every way the brother she had never had. She cared about him a lot, and loved nothing more than to tease him until he blushed, which was surprisingly easy for a man of his age and history. "We're on the way to West Haven. Just left Misty Glen."

"A bust?" he asked, moving to notate the negative results by the address to the house on Misty Glen which was displayed on the computer screen in front of him.

"Yep. Just saw a normal family home that even had a dog," she said, watching Michael stop and look around, doing a quick sweep of the area before they started to cross the street. "After this, we'll do two more. Then, we'll head back."

"Gotcha," he said, adding, "Faith just called in. They haven't found anything either. They've got one more warehouse to check and they're coming in. Want me to have them swing by the possible at Oakland? It's on their way and would reduce you two by one."

"Sounds positive," she said, saying a quick, "Bye," before shoving the com device back in her pocket and removing her hat. With two free hands, she tucked her hair into an organized mess before putting the cap back on and following Michael.

A half a block away, Buffy paused in her patrol as a flash of red hair caught her gaze. She studied the figure crossing the street, too far away to see anything except what the streetlight highlighted. She shook her head slowly, knowing she was imagining things. Or, the girl may have had red hair, but it hadn't been Willow. She sighed, watching the two figures dressed all in black as they disappeared down the street. Riley might be right. She was now starting to see people with red hair and believing that it might be Willow. She turned the corner, wondering if there would ever be a day that she didn't imagine that she might run into her best friend.

********************

Buffy sat down, stretching her legs and arching her back. She hadn't slept very well the night before. Her argument with Riley had not been resolved when she returned home from patrol. He had been asleep and she hadn't wanted to risk waking him for fear of another argument starting. Instead, she had slept on the couch, again. This morning she had been awake several hours before he had gotten out of bed. She had gone for a jog, feeling a need to work off some energy. It was becoming ridiculous, the lack of activity in town. Sure, she ran into a few vamps each night, but most were newbies that had no idea how to fight a slayer, if they even knew there was such a thing. Killing them was no longer a challenge. Even the few demons that had come to Sunnydale with plans for the town had been taken care of quickly.

She had been slaying for five years. Was, according to Giles, the oldest slayer in history so far. He always seemed a bit vague when she asked him more detail questions so she had learned just not to ask. Neither of them worked for the council any longer, but, in a way, their actions were still controlled by that group. She could honestly quit slaying anytime that she wanted, having learned that the myth of the slayer was just that, a myth. Sure, certain girls were chosen as being the one, mostly based on birth and history. A few, like her, had the extra sense that determined their destiny. She and Faith were alike in that way, according to Giles. Neither girl had been on the council's watch list, but both had been born with something special that set them apart. A psychic sense that had kept them alive longer than most of the others. There had been others like them throughout history and there would be more to come she was sure. Giles seemed to believe that it was them, the girls like her, that were truly meant to be the slayer. The one that was spoken of in all the ancient texts. The ones that could not ignore their destiny to fight evil and help the innocent. Lucky her.

"Buffy, is everything all right?" Giles finally asked his slayer after watching her fidget for nearly half an hour. "You seem distracted."

"It's probably nothing," she said, looking at the man that was like a father to her. "I was out on patrol the other day, on Maple. There was this house that gave me the wiggins. I saw a couple of guys and I swear they had guns."

"Guns?" he repeated slowly, his eyes showing his skepticism. "Are you certain?"

"No," she said, shrugging. "It was dark and I couldn't see very well. But, I know something is wrong there. I feel it. I don't think it's a demony kind of evil, but it's evil. I'd swear it."

"So, let me see if I understand," Giles said, removing his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose, "you stumbled across a house that gave you the wiggins. You believe you might have seen men with guns but don't really know because it was dark. It's nothing to do with demons or the Hellmouth, yet you feel that there is evil of some kind there."

"Yeah," Buffy said weakly, realizing just how stupid it all sounded when he repeated it.

"Buffy, you're tired. It's obvious that there is some sort of trouble between you and Riley. You've become an excellent slayer, able to kill most of your foe without breaking a sweat, so you're bored. But, this?" Giles shook his head. "Seeing guns and evil just because a dark house bothers you?"

"It wasn't because of the house," Buffy protested.

"Is the first time?" Giles asked quietly, his mind running through rumors he had heard at the council when he had been training. Rumors of slayers that reach a certain age only to succumb to mental illness and paranoid delusions. He had thought them merely rumor, having never known a slayer to pass her twentieth birthday. He had heard so many rumors and whispers at the council that he had begun to disbelieve them all. This one though suddenly came back at him. A story of a slayer that had turned twenty and soon after began imagining all sorts of things. She had supposedly gone crazy, killing her family and her own watcher because they were evil and she had to destroy all things evil. He had chalked it up to girl's state of mind, believing that one case did not make the rumor true. Now, though, seeing Buffy, he had to wonder. Shaking his head, he cursed his own silly thoughts. There was no way that Buffy was going to suddenly go insane. She was just tired and fighting with her boyfriend. He couldn't believe that she would be a threat to herself or others.

"First time?" she repeated, frowning.

"That you've seen something that struck you as being evil," he elaborated.

She nodded, "Yeah. I mean, first time that it hasn't been a demony evil vibe. Why?"

"Nothing," he said with a relieved smile. "I was just curious."

"So you think I should ignore it?" she asked, not sure she would go along with that. That feeling still nagged at her as did the feeling that the redhead she had seen the night before had indeed been Willow. That one she couldn't understand, knowing that Willow was dead. The other, maybe it was a demon that just didn't strike her as a demon. Either way, she didn't trust that house or anyone that was living in it.

"Yes, I do," he said, putting his glasses back on. "Is that the only unusual thing lately on patrol?"

Buffy nodded, knowing that this would be the first time in quite awhile that she disobeyed Giles. She could not just drop it. She was trained to go with her instincts and to fight evil. Something in that house disturbed her enough to make her aware of it. She also decided not to mention anything about that redhead. She was just being silly about that anyway. No need for Giles to know about that. "Yeah, everything else has been quiet."

********************

"Are you OK?"

Willow turned her head, looking at her lover. She smiled, "Yeah, just tired."

Faith covered a yawn and laughed, "I know that. I can't believe we spent five hours searching and didn't find anything. Major bust."

"This is Sunnydale, Faith," Willow reminded. "The city used to hiding things and keeping secrets. I wouldn't doubt that it won't take us days to find Raskioni."

"Well, the sooner the better for me," Faith said as she sat up in bed and propped a pillow behind her back. "I know this might sound weird, but I don't like this place. It has a bad vibe."

"It's our past," Willow said with an understanding smile. "I've got the same feeling. Last night, when Michael and I were searching, I just knew we'd stumble across a vampire or some other unexplainable creature of the night."

"I know!" Faith said with a laugh. "Niki and I were at the warehouses and I just knew something would come up. I could just see knocking her out so I could dust a view vamps. Would love to have seen that in my report to Ops."

"I'd love to have seen you try to knock her out myself," Willow said with a smile. "Nikita would not go down easy."

"Eh, she wouldn't have suspected it. Besides, I'd have done it from behind so I could say later that some evil bad guy bonked her on the head," Faith said. "That's the one I had to use when I came across those vamps in Istanbul a couple of months ago. Thankfully, it was just some level 1 operative. Easy to dispose of for a few minutes of slaying."

"It's kind of funny," Willow said, moving to lay her head on Faith's bare stomach. She moaned softly when Faith's hand went to her breast, the slayer teasing her as she spoke, "Stop teasing." "Me? Teasing? Never," Faith said with a wicked laugh as she moved her hand lower while wriggling her eyebrows. "You were saying?"

"Oh, yeah," Willow moaned as she arched down towards Faith's hand. "Um, yeah, I remember now. I've gotten so used to fighting evil living people that I've almost forgotten about the rush of looking for demons and vampires. Last night, well, it was kind of fun. I had to be alert to both the Black Knights and to vampires."

"Uh oh," Faith said, brushing her thumb against Willow's clit and causing the redhead to arch up, "someone's a danger junkie."

"Coming from you," Willow muttered as she bit into her lip. "Faith, please."

"I'm so proud of you, honey," Faith said as she leaned over and ran her tongue over Willow's torn lip. "Understanding the excitement of the hunt, the thrill of the chase, the satisfaction of the kill, the pleasure of knowing that one more bad guy is gone."

Willow cried out as her muscles tightened around Faith's three fingers. She knew that Faith loved slaying, that the brunette considered missions to be the second best thing to killing vampires. She also knew that she beginning to enjoy them too, with the same rush of excitement coupled with fear. She now completely understood where Faith was coming from. It also helped that the danger turned them both on. Of course, they were careful. Before, Faith had been rather gung ho towards slaying. Now, she took her time, she thought out plans of attack. With Section, there was no room for error. That control had helped turn Faith into the slayer that she was meant to be. Willow tended to believe that slayer wasn't just for mythical demons and creatures of the night. She had learned that there were plenty of human demons that needed tended to right along side the hell spawned demons. Not that she considered all demons bad. In fact, several of her section sources were demons that drifted among the human and non-human worlds. Her awareness of all aspects of the world helped her survive many a time, as did Faith's.

"That's it baby....cum for me," Faith whispered, her eyes watching Willow's face as the redhead pushed against her hand. She leaned over, catching one of Willow's nipples in her mouth. She rolled her tongue over it, sucking as Willow began to make the familiar noises that signaled her release. Faith loved listening to Willow orgasm, recognizing each individual groan and moan and whisper. When she felt Willow's fingernails in her back, she released the breast, catching Willow's mouth in a claiming kiss as the redhead flooded her hand with release.

Willow and Faith lay together for a few minutes before Faith looked at the redhead and smiled, "Sorry bout that. I was gonna wait until we finished talking, but well, you looked so tempting with that sweet smile and those perky little breasts begging for my mouth and I could see the juices glistening on your curls and I said to hell with waiting."

"You're forgiven," Willow said with a laugh as she kissed Faith. "Just promise to do it again."

"Oh, yeah....I love promises that I know I can keep," Faith said with a large smile as she straddled Willow's leg, her own wetness coming in contact with Willow's upper thigh. She began to move, needing her own release but not wanting Willow to move from underneath her. She caught her lover's lips again as she rubbed her cunt against Willow's leg. She tore her mouth from Willow's when she felt a finger rubbing her clit, her cry of release a bit louder than anticipated. She collapsed on top of Willow, a sheepish smile on her pretty face as she said, "You think I woke them up?"

Willow nodded, "I'd say that you got their attention after that little verbal display."

"Ah well, fuck it. They'll go back to sleep," Faith said with a wicked smile.

"You know, suddenly I'm not so tired," Willow said as she arched up and caught Faith off guard, pushing the brunette down against the mattress, a sensual smile crossing her lips as she began to make sure that Faith was also wide awake.

********************

"What exactly are you saying?"

Giles sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. He looked at Xander and said, "I want you to watch her."

"You're asking us to spy on Buffy?" Xander wanted to clarify, his annoyance evident in his brown eyes.

"No, I'm asking you to keep an eye on her," Giles said. "Xander, do you think I enjoy having to do this? She's like a daughter to me. I don't like having to result to these measures, but I fear it must be done."

"Why? Because she's acting weird?" Anya said, shaking her head. "It seems a bit drastic for weirdness."

"I've explained about the legends around the Council," Giles said. "She might become a danger to herself or to others." "I don't want any part of it," Xander said, frowning. "Buffy's one of my best friends. I don't think she's suddenly going to go nuts and try to kill someone. I mean, c'mon, she's the slayer."

"It's merely a precautionary measure," Giles said. "I'm sure that I'm taking her remarks the wrong way. But, I would rather be safe than sorry."

"I'm with Xander," Anya said. "I don't like spying on a friend."

"What does Riley think?" Xander asked, studying the former watcher.

"He agrees with me that something is wrong. He admitted to me that Buffy visits Willow's grave and talks to her as if she can hear," Giles said.

"They were best friends, Giles. I know Buffy misses her. Hell, we all do," Xander said, angry at Riley for sharing something rather personal.

"Every night, Xander. She can't seem to sleep without visiting the grave. That is beyond grieving," Giles said softly, hating having these thoughts about his slayer, but unable to avoid the threat of their truth.

"I'll admit that's a bit extreme, but this is Buffy. She's never been normal," Xander said.

"Riley also said that their relationship has not been strong for months. Lately, she's been mentioning weird feelings about people they meet on the streets. Humans," Giles explained.

"Geez," Xander muttered softly, running a hand through his hair. "I can't believe that she's got some mental illness. Buffy's too good to be destroyed by something like that. He's probably pissed that they're not getting along and is exaggerating."

"I would feel safer knowing that for certain," Giles said.

"Damn," Xander said, looking at the ceiling as he felt his wife's hand squeeze his. Looking back at the watcher, he asked softly, "What do we have to do?"

********************

Willow followed the slim blonde into the warehouse, her green eyes searching the dark corners, seeing nothing. She could hear Birkoff in her right ear, giving them a breakdown of this potential hideout. As far as she could determine, it was empty.

[My prints indicate a lower level with access to the sewers]

"Location to entrance?" Willow asked.

[Ten feet north of your location. A door should be marked. Do you see it?]

"I've got it," Nikita said, moving through the shadows to the door. She waited for Willow, her pale blue eyes looking for any sign of threat.

"Is it hot?" Willow asked, standing opposite the blonde.

[Negative. Only sign of human life if you two]

"Human life?" Nikita repeated with a wrinkle of her nose. "Great. He's sending us to the damn rats again."

"Thanks a lot, Seymour," Willow said, sighing. "Next time, we get the residential sweep."

"Definitely," Nikita agreed before turning the knob. "Ready?"

"Always," Willow said, holding her gun in preparation for a surprise attack. The door swung open into darkness. Lowering her weapon, she found the flashlight on her hip and shined it into the stairway. "Looks like a staircase. We're going down."

[Be careful]

"Aren't we always?" Nikita asked, laughing softly as she entered the stairway. Willow followed behind her as they started down the stairs.

**********

Buffy groaned as she ran her hand over her face. She could taste the blood in her mouth as she ran. She could see the demon ahead of her, just barely making it out in the darkness of the sewer. She could feel water splashing onto her jeans, making the denim heavy against her legs. She really needed to see about wearing something that was lighter when wet. For some lucky reason, she tended to end up running through the grime of the sewers during half her chases, and denim was so bad to run in while wet. She followed it into a large room, calling out, "Come on, moron. Stop running. I'm just gonna end up being even more pissed when I kick your ass."

The demon didn't respond, not that she expected it to. It seemed that vampires were the only ones stupid enough to get caught into a verbal argument with her these days. The demons were either avoiding Sunnydale or didn't have any idea what she was saying at all. Made for rather boring patrols. She sighed, dodging a kick from the demon. She was getting so bored with it all. She swung, knocking the demon to the left as she concealed a yawn. She didn't know if they were getting weaker or if she was getting stronger, but she hadn't had a worth opponent in months. Usually she had defeated whomever she was against with less than a dozen swings.

This one took eight. She moved away from it, wiping her hands on her jeans as she started back the way she had run. She was nearly to the hole in the wall when she heard a creaking sound. Looking up, she saw thin beams of light from a pair of flashlights. Curious, she moved to hide behind the break in the wall. Who would be coming into the sewers this late with flashlights? She wasn't able to make out much in the weak light. She saw blackness. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, one light flashed on a face. She saw a pretty face that was wearing a black ski hat. She thought she saw a lock of almost bleached blonde hair before the light moved away. She frowned, not sensing anything particularly evil about the two shapes. Mysterious maybe, but not bad. She shrugged, deciding that it was time to go, when the beam from the light caught the other figure. She froze, her eyes widening as she saw a familiar face. "Willow?" she whispered, not believing her eyes. The light moved before she could be certain. She moved against the wall, shaking her head slowly as she slid to sit in the mucky water of the sewer. It couldn't be Willow. Willow was dead. Wasn't she?

********************

"What's that smell?" Faith asked, looking up as Willow and Nikita came into the living room. She got to her feet, moving to her lover. "You're drenched!"

"Just shut up," Willow said, her green eyes flashing.

Michael tried to cover a smile as he saw Nikita trying to get the water from her blonde hair. "Did you run into a problem?"

Nikita's eyes narrowed, "Tomorrow, we get to cover the suburbs. You two can deal with those nasty sewers and the warehouses."

"Are you OK?" Faith asked, helping Willow get her coat off.

"Fine. We were walking along the dock and thought we heard something," Willow said, giving Faith a look. "We decided to investigate and something knocked Nikita into the water."

Nikita frowned, "I still don't know what he hit me with or how he got behind me like that. By the time Willow had helped me out of the water, the guy had disappeared. Didn't see anything when we got back on the dock."

"That's strange," Michael said, a thoughtful look on his face.

"I never saw anyone," Willow confessed. "I was listening then I heard the splash as Nikita entered the water. By the time I turned around, nothing was there."

"I know someone hit me," Nikita said, shaking her head. "I saw someone. A tall dark shape."

"Ugh, I smell terrible," Willow said, her nose wrinkling.

"Why don't we go take a shower?" Faith suggested, a sly smile crossing her face.

"You use everything as an excuse to have sex," Willow said, laughing.

"Who, me?" Faith asked innocently as she winked at Michael.

"I must admit that I think Faith has the right idea," Michael said in a soft voice as his blue eyes smiled at her.

"We'll see you girls tomorrow," Nikita said huskily as her mouth met MIchael's. They managed to make it up the stairs without breaking the kiss or their necks.

"It was a vampire," Willow said as soon as she heard their door close. She looked at Faith and smiled, "One smack against her head and she was in the water. He was dust in seconds and then I helped her out, none the wiser."

"I'm so proud," Faith said, a wide smile on her pretty face. "You knocked Blondie out and staked a vampy. That's my girl."

Willow smiled but her eyes were cloudy, "Faith, there's something else."

"What, hon?" Faith asked, deciding that a shower was definitely a right idea. Willow's clothes were covered in a skanky smell.

"Tonight, in one of the warehouses we were investigating," Willow explained, her eyes unsure, "I could have sworn that I felt Buffy."

Faith straightened, sighing, "Are you sure?"

Willow shrugged, "I didn't actually see her, but I felt her. I know that seems weird, but she and I have always had this connection. I could feel her and she could feel me. Sort of one of those best friend things. Or maybe it was a slayer thing. I feel the same thing with you."

"Do you think she saw you? Felt you, whatever," Faith said, proud of herself for not being jealous of the close friendship that had existed between Willow and Buffy.

Willow shrugged, "I don't know. She didn't say anything if she did. It's not like Buffy to not speak up, so I doubt she saw me."

"We need to be careful, just in case," Faith said, making a face. "We can't risk her finding us. They'd kill her and the others without batting an eye."

"I know," Willow said softly, smiling wryly. "I just hope we get out of Sunnydale before that happens."

"We will," Faith said, smiling. "Now, what about that shower?"

********************

Buffy opened the door to Giles apartment, hearing the voices of her friends. She shut the door softly, leaning against it as she gathered her strength. She was so tired. She had sat in the sewer for at least half an hour, stunned at having seen Willow. She knew it was her best friend. There was not a single doubt in her mind that the redhead in the basement had been Willow. She didn't know how, couldn't explain why, but she knew. Willow was alive. Buffy couldn't believe that her best friend would fake her own death, but she didn't have any other logical explanation. She couldn't figure out what would have caused Willow to go to such lengths, but Buffy knew in her heart that Willow would have to have had a reason for putting them through all of this.

She walked into the living room, not noticing that the others became silent when she entered the room. She looked up, her hazel eyes clouded with emotion. She moved a hand through her hair, grimacing as she felt how oily it was. She was covered in sweat from chasing the demon, the butt of her pants was soaked through with dirt and grime from sitting in the puddle in the sewer. She knew she smelled bad, knew she should have gone home to shower before reporting for her patrol, but she had walked to Giles lost in a fog of sorts. Her best friend was alive. She could have her Willow back. Things would finally be normal again. She found it so hard to believe, but she was so happy that she accepted it.

"Buffy? What on Earth..." Giles looked at his slayer.

"Found a demon," she muttered, her hand smoothing her shirt. She noticed the torn sleeve and sighed.

"Looks like it might have won," Xander said, frowning as he looked at his friend. He saw her smile slightly as she continued to move her hand over her shirt, a strange look in her hazel eyes. He cast a glance at Giles before looking back at the slayer.

"Nope, one more dead demon in the 'dale," she said, glancing at the sofa. "I'd sit down, but my ass is covered in dried dirty water."

"Yes, well, I can get you a blanket to sit on," Giles offered.

"No, that's OK. I sat for over half an hour," she said, looking at him again.

"Buffy, are you feeling all right?" Anya asked. "You're acting weirder than normal."

"I'm fine," Buffy said, smiling a sincere smile. "In fact, better than I have in months."

"Do you happen to know what sort of demon you killed?" Giles asked, noting that it was the first demon she had slain in days.

"No," Buffy shook her head, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry, I didn't ask his name. I just caught him killing some girl in an alley and decided he should die."

"It was that easy?" Xander said, shaking his head.

"Easier," Buffy shrugged, "I guess the demons are getting more weak as time passes."

"Or you're getting stronger," Giles remarked, studying her. "You look tired, Buffy. Maybe you should go home and shower and get some sleep."

"I can't," Buffy said, looking at him in surprise. "I mean, I plan on showering but I've got so much to do. I can't sleep."

"Buffy, it's nearly two in the morning," Xander said slowly, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her. "Don't you think it's time to sleep?"

"Oh my God," Buffy suddenly realized, "I forgot to tell you the good news."

"What good news?" Anya asked, frowning as she looked at the slayer. Something was wrong with the girl. She was acting strange, her eyes holding this odd gleam.

"Willow," Buffy smiled, her eyes flashing with happiness as she spoke the name.

"What about Willow?" Giles asked, frowning.

"I saw her tonight," Buffy said, laughing softly as she looked at them. "She's not dead. She was as alive as we are. Now I just have to find her then everything can be perfect again."

Giles closed his eyes at her words, hating the fact that he could see in her eyes that she completely believed that she had indeed seen Willow. She was already slipping into her mind. Good lord, it appeared that they might be too late.

********************

Willow got out of bed, being careful to stay quiet. She went to the bathroom, showering quickly. She walked back into her room, seeing that Faith was still asleep. She smiled softly as she looked at her lover, knowing that it was too early for Faith to wake up. It was barely four am, the sky outside still dark. She got dressed and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. She saw darkness down the hall, knowing that the others were still asleep. That was good. Made it easier to do what she had to do.

She went by the kitchen, grabbing a soda before moving towards the library. They had set up their equipment in this room near the back of the house. She shut the door before turning on the light, blinking at the sudden brightness. She was growing accustomed to moving around in the dark, having built up her night vision over the last year. She went to the desk, sitting down and turning on the computer. She searched the area with her eyes, finally seeing where Birkhoff had placed the remote phone. She put on the headset so she could talk as she typed then dialed a number from memory.

[Hello]

"Hey lazy bones," she said, smiling as she heard the sleepy voice.

[Sugar! It's not even seven. What are you doing calling this early?]

"Sorry, Walter. I needed to talk on a clear line," she said, typing as she spoke.

[It's all right, Red. I needed to get my lazy ass up anyway. We have a mission leaving in two hours and I still need to get things prepped. So, do ya miss me?]

She laughed softly, "Of course I do. Wish I were back there now."

[Things pretty tough there?]

"Well, we've searched half the city and haven't found anything yet. Every time I go out, I worry that I'm going to run into someone that thinks I'm dead. Last night, I swear that my best friend may have seen me. Other than that, things are just swell," she said, sighing.

[Did you tell anyone about the friend?] Walter asked.

"Just Faith," Willow said, adding, "I'm not stupid. I love Nikita and Michael to death, but if they thought we'd been compromised, they'd kill her."

[I'm sorry, sugar]

"Not your fault," she said, leaning forward to read her notes. "I won't let them kill her, if it comes down to that."

[I don't think you'd be given a choice, honey]

"I know," she said, leaning back and closing her eyes. "That's why I called you."

[You can't fight Section, Willow]

"I wouldn't dare try," Willow laughed, "I'm not suicidal, Walter. I do need a favor, though."

[Anything, sugar. Name it]

Willow smiled, asking him a few questions and receiving the answers she had predicted. She typed out a few notes before she told him exactly what she needed. He promised to do his best to get it to her as soon as he could without Operations or Madeline noticing. She told him good-bye then hung up, closing her eyes as she leaned forward, resting her forehead on the table. She was taking precautions that she hoped were not necessary. Unfortunately, she knew Buffy pretty well. If her friend *had* felt her or seen her, the slayer would not rest until she found her. There was no way that Willow could fight section, nor would she want to really. It was her home now. She had friends and enjoyed what she did there. But, she would not sit back and allow them to kill Buffy if her friend got to close. If Walter came through for her, she at least had another alternative for them to consider. If she were forced to use the drugs on her friend, would Buffy be better off facing death instead? Not wanting to consider that, Willow turned off the computer and put the phone back on the desk. Thinking about it wouldn't change anything. Hopefully, Buffy had not seen her and would not be looking for her. She left the library and headed back upstairs. Stripping her clothes off, she got back into bed with Faith, feeling a little better about everything after having spoken to Walter.

********************

"You've been quiet today," Faith said, moving to sit beside Willow.

"Just thinking," Willow said, smiling at her lover.

"About her?" Faith asked, her hand moving to Willow's neck. She began a slow massage, her dark eyes watching her lover's face.

"About a lot of things," Willow said.

Faith nodded, "Do you think we're ever going to make contact and finish this mission?"

"We don't have much of Sunnydale left to search," Willow said, smiling. "We'll have to find something soon."

"Before Buffy finds you?" Faith asked quietly.

Willow shrugged, "We'd better."

"Willow, look me in the eyes," Faith said, "do you think she knew it was you?"

Willow considered lying but knew better, "Yes," she whispered.

"Fuck," Faith cursed, making a face as she looked at the sky overhead. "That's not good."

"I know," Willow said, resting her head against Faith's shoulder.

"That dumb bitch is like a dog with a bone," Faith said, sighing. "She's always been too stubborn for her own good. She won't let it drop until she finds you. And Section won't let her live if she does."

"I know," Willow said again. "Faith, I can't let Buffy die. Especially if it's my fault she might."

"It wouldn't be your fault," Faith said softly, smoothing Willow's hair. "Honey, you can't fight section for her."

"I don't plan on it," Willow said. She looked at Faith, "You remember that mission to Audario two months ago?"

"Yeah," Faith said, nodding. "What about it?"

"That stuff we used on the kids," Willow said, cringing as she remembered the mission.

Faith nodded, "That was not one of the funniest parts of the job. Wait a minute. You want to use that on Buffy? Wills, you know they wouldn't let you."

"Honey, I don't plan on telling them," Willow said, smiling. "I called Walter today. He's going to secure me enough to use on Buffy if she happens to find us. It's the only thing I could think of."

"Those kids, there weren't any side effects?" Faith asked.

"Just a black out," Willow said in a relieved tone. "They didn't remember anything from the past thirty-six hours, but they were healthy."

"Do you think it would work on Buffy?" Faith asked, seeing the hope in her lover's green eyes.

"I hope we don't have to find out," Willow said softly, before she sat up and smiled. "I guess we should go in and get dressed for patrol."

"I'm glad you told me," Faith said softly, not having to be specific. Her lover knew what she was talking about.

"I'd never have secrets from you, Faith," Willow said, brushing her lips against Faith's.

"I love you, baby," Faith said softly as she got to her feet and followed Willow into the house.

********************

"Ha. Ha. You're such a kidder," Xander said as Buffy's words seemed to echo in the quiet room. He glanced at Giles, not liking the look in the older man's eyes. He didn't care what the ex-watcher had said. He didn't believe that Buffy was going crazy. It just wasn't something he would ever believe.

"I'm not joking, Xander. I saw Willow," Buffy said, frowning as she looked at him. She saw him shake his head slightly then glance at Giles. She, too, looked at Giles. She saw him looking at her with sadness and acceptance and something else that almost frightened her. This was silly. She shouldn't be scared of Giles.

"Buffy, Willow is dead. You know that she was buried nearly nine months ago," Giles said slowly, hoping that he was wrong but knowing in his heart that he wasn't.

"You just need some sleep, don't you?" Anya suggested, seeing the look of denial in Xander's eyes and praying for his sake that Buffy wasn't about to go nuts. He'd lost so much in the last year already.

"I," Buffy stopped, looking back at Xander and recognizing the look. It told her to shut up, that they needed to talk. She laughed weakly, saying, "What I meant was that I fell asleep....and dreamed about Willow. Yeah, I saw her in a dream and she was alive...asked about everyone."

"It was just a dream?" Giles asked, his feeling of relief short lived. Buffy was becoming unstable. If she continued down this path, he knew there was only one way that it would end. Could he kill her to save the people she might kill?

"Yep, a real nice dream," Buffy said, glancing down. "And I really smell bad so I think I'm going to go home and take a shower. Sorry I freaked you guys out. It just seemed real when I woke up."

"No problem, Buffy," Xander said, giving her a big smile. "I figured it must be a dream. Hey, why don't we have lunch tomorrow? It's been a while since we caught up."

"I'll call you in the morning," she said as she left, letting out a sigh of breath on the other side. Something was happening, she realized. Something she didn't think she liked. Giles had looked at her as if she were enemy. Xander was trying to tell her something, but what? Maybe she'd get some answers over lunch. Until then, she would figure out how she was going to find Willow.

********************

"I think this could be it," Faith said as she eyed the dark house at the end of the street.

"Did you see something?" Michael asked as he looked at the three-story house.

"Nope. Just got a feeling that something isn't right," Faith said with a shrug. "Shall we investigate, Fearless Leader?"

"Negative," Michael decided as he did a quick search. He moved to face her, leaning his head down as if to kiss her. "There is someone beside the tree closest to the house. I believe I saw a weapon."

"All that and I just get a weird feeling," she muttered, wondering how long it would take her to become as good an operative as Michael. While he might be annoying at times, he was the best.

"Your weird feeling made me take a closer look," he credited.

"Really?" she smiled. "So, we think this is it?"

"I'll have Birkhoff investigate to confirm, but I believe we may have finally found it."

"Good. We can go home," she said, relieved.

"Let's get away from here before they start getting suspicious," he suggested, putting his arm around her shoulders as they walked away.

"Do we call Nikita and Willow?" she asked, "or let them continue the search just in case we're wrong?"

"Let them continue. We will tell them our observations when we get to the house later," Michael decided as they turned the corner, his arm dropping as he contacted Birkhoff to relate the details.

**********

"Dinner is better than lunch anyway, right?" Xander said with a smile as he sat opposite Buffy.

"Sure," she smiled, having actually been pleased when he had called to cancel due to work. Relief had been short lived when he had pinned her down for dinner instead. "Is Anya not joining us?"

"She's working tonight," he said, knowing his wife was doing her best to keep Giles occupied.

After they ordered their drinks, Buffy studied Xander and finally asked, "Out with it, Xan. Why are we here? Why did Giles look at me last night like I was evil incarnate? Why are you acting so weird?"

"Me?" Xander laughed. "Honey, you're the one going off the deep end. Right now, I'm rather proud to be the normal one."

"Why did Giles scare me last night?" she asked quietly, having spent all morning and afternoon thinking about their strange conversation and about Willow and why the girl would have made them believe she died. She had finally decided that Willow must not have had a choice. She had always thought the entire faulty wiring thing was too neat and clean. Now, she just needed to find out who had taken her friend and why.

"Buffy, if I ask you something, will you be honest with me?" Xander asked, ignoring her question.

"Always," she said, "you know that, Xander."

He looked into her eyes, asking softly, "Buffy, are you going crazy?"

********************

"What?" Buffy stared at Xander then laughed. "Me? Crazy?"

"I'm serious," he said. "You're not the same Buffy anymore. Something has changed."

"It's called growing up," she said, sitting back in the chair, realizing that he wasn't joking. "You really think I'm crazy?"

"No. I mean, Giles told us about some stupid council rumor about slayers going crazy after they turn twenty," he explained. "They go nuts and kill innocent people and then themselves. Buffy, it wasn't pretty."

"I'm not crazy," she hissed. "I can't believe you think that I am. Giles is scared of me, isn't he? He really thinks that I have some slayer curse?"

"You're seeing Willow, Buf. You're getting weird feelings about evil gun toting humans. Houses are making you creeped out. It's affecting your sleeping and your relationships. It isn't just us over reacting," he said quietly.

"Xander, humans can be evil. I would assume they'd give off the same negative vibe as evil demons. As for the rest, I've never been able to sleep very well. Slaying usually wears me out, but lately it hasn't been. So I've got a bit of a case of insomnia. Didn't realize that was a crime. As for Riley, well, that's not working out. I'll take full blame for it, too. I love him, but something just isn't right. It doesn't settle me the way it should. It hasn't been right in months, but both of us are too scared to confront it and call it off. I wasn't aware that relationship problems were a symptom of mental illness," she said, glaring at him.

"What about Willow?"

She stiffened, shaking her head, "I won't even bother. You seem to have made up your mind. I turned twenty and suddenly went crazy. Strange, since I'm turning twenty-one in two months. I would have thought I'd have been out killing innocent people ages ago."

"Buffy, don't. You're one of my best friends. I'm worried about you," he said. "I don't think you're going to start killing people. If I did, I wouldn't have met with you to talk about this. I know you're unhappy. Any idiot could see that. You've been acting weird since shortly after Willow died. I'm not blaming her death for it, but I think it forced you into evaluating some things you wanted to ignore. You and Riley are miserable together. You rarely smile and I haven't heard you really laugh in weeks. You seem bored with patrols. I don't know. It scares me to see you so discontent."

"I am bored, Xander. I don't know how to explain it," she ran her hand through her hair. "It's almost too easy now. There's no challenge. I miss the thrill. Isn't that horrible? I should be glad that Sunnydale has calmed down so much. That I'm really not needed. But, I miss it. I miss those all night research sessions and facing off against a demon that I know I might not defeat."

"I kind of understand," he said. "But I don't miss facing the big evil. In fact, I like being able to walk around without worrying as much."

"What should I do, Xander?" she asked finally after they spent the next half hour making small talk and eating their dinner.

"I don't have the answer to that, Buffy. Giles is worried. I honestly think he'd kill you rather than see you turn crazy and kill people and all that rumor stuff," he confessed softly. "I don't think you're crazy. I think that is just some stupid myth that the council fed its watchers. But, something is up with you. I can see that much. You deserve to be happy, Buffy. You need to figure out what that is going to take and do it."

"Even if it is chasing after the ghost of my best friend?" Buffy asked softly.

"Chasing her won't bring her back," he answered. "If it would, I'd be right there running with you. I've learned that you can't live in the past. Let it go, Buffy. She's gone. You have to live without her."

"Xander, when did you get so smart?" she asked finally, deciding not to argue with him.

He grinned, "It's called growing up."

She sighed, "Xander, I haven't really been happy since I started college. I miss Willow more than I imagined. She's my best friend, always will be. She and I clicked. You know that. How can I be happy without her?"

"You were happy without her for months before she died," he reminded a bit harshly.

"I know. And I regret pushing her from my life. More than you could ever realize," she said sharply.

"Buffy, I don't want to argue. Willow was my best friend for far longer than you ever knew her. I know about the void. I also know about not having been as close to her before she died as we were for so many years. I know the regrets. I also know that she wouldn't want me trapped in some past that couldn't be changed. She'd want me to move on and be happy. You know that," he insisted.

"I am moving on," Buffy said, giving him a smile. "We can't all get married and live happily ever after, Xander. I might be a bit crazy thinking that Willow is alive. If so, who cares? I have to prove to myself that she is dead or I'll never move past it. Right now, I know in my heart that she's out there waiting for me to find her. When I do, then I'll be happy."

"Be careful, Buffy," he finally said. "Giles is scared. A scared watcher who is convinced you might be a threat to people you love isn't a good thing."

"Giles won't hurt me, Xander," Buffy said. "Thanks for tonight. It's nice seeing how mature you are. You and Anya are going to be happy."

"Yeah, I think we will be," he smiled. "You will be too."

She smiled, "You may be right."

********************

Buffy walked down the street, her eyes sweeping the area as she thought. Was Xander right? Was she going crazy? She knew it definitely sounded that way. Finding Willow alive after all these months. She knew she wasn't imagining it though. She had seen Willow. Her best friend was in town, alive and well. She had to find her. She hadn't been lying to Xander. She had missed Willow far more than she would have ever imagined. She had tried to deal with the grief, had tried to move past Willow's death, but she hadn't been able to. Now, she wondered if she hadn't been able to let it rest because she had always known. Known somewhere deep inside her heart that Willow was alive. They'd always had a connection, from the minute they'd first met. No matter what had happened between them, the fights, the relationships, the time apart, it had always been there. After it all, they could just look at each other and smile and everything would be good again. She missed that. Missed having the knowledge that it would all be good.

She turned on Maple, her eyes immediately finding the house. It was dark, not a single light showing onto the street. She stopped several houses away, moving to sit under a tree, her attention on the house. There was something weird about that place. She'd stake her life on it. Might very well be, if Giles seemed convinced she was going insane. She leaned against the tree, sighing as she wondered how she had let it all get so out of control. First Angel, then Faith, then Willow, now her. She was tired of it all, she realized. Tired of fighting demons that were too easily slain. Tired of being someone that everyone wanted her to be. She didn't love Riley. She cared for him but it wasn't love. She honestly doubted she'd ever love anyone the way she had loved Angel, and was actually pretty content with the knowledge that she had experienced such a love in her short life. If she died tomorrow, she'd die knowing what it meant to love and be loved. It would never work between them, though. Even without the curse, it just hadn't been meant to be. She missed him, almost as much as Willow. Even with all the tension and awkwardness between them, their friendship and the love had calmed her. Being with Riley wasn't fair to either of them. She had wanted to leave him for months, had realized even before Willow died that she just didn't love him. After Willow had died, though, well, she'd been too scared to leave. She'd needed him, had used him like some selfish brat. She'd made so many mistakes over the past year.

She'd been considering leaving Sunnydale, getting away from all the memories. Running away, again. But, would it be running away? She wouldn't be fleeing anything. She'd, in fact, be running towards something. A future maybe. Something she didn't seem able to find here. The Hellmouth was practically faded. The few demons that did come to town could be disposed of easily by Riley or Xander. She wouldn't be leaving them in a terrible situation. She had argued this with herself for months, knowing that she would probably never leave. It was scary, to think of being alone. She had memories here, good and bad. Whenever she felt alone, she could always find somewhere that reminded her of Angel or Willow, feel them with her again in a way. She wouldn't have that anywhere else.

She was at a crossroads, it seemed. On one hand, she knew in her heart that Willow was alive, would do anything to find her friend. On the other, Giles was growing convinced that she was insane and becoming a threat to herself and innocent people. If she pursued her suspicions about Willow, she could end up convincing Giles of her madness. If she ignored the knowledge that Willow was alive, she could end up actually driving herself mad from not knowing. She was screwed either way it would appear. If she did find Willow, could she tell Giles and the others? Would she? There was obviously a reason that Willow had made them believe she was dead. Buffy doubted that they could have a huge party and let everyone know it was all an act. Also, if she did find Willow, she didn't know if she'd want to share her with the others. They didn't think she was alive, thought Buffy was crazy for believing the redhead wasn't dead. They wouldn't really deserve to know the truth, would they?

Buffy frowned as she looked at the house, noticing someone standing in the shadows near the side. Again, she could make out the shape of what appeared to be a gun. She sat up, looking more closely around the property. She saw a second shape on the balcony of the second floor, this one also carrying what appeared to be a gun. Why would two people be standing with weapons concealed in the shadows of that house? They clearly weren't demons. The demons she had run across weren't cowardly enough to use weapons. That meant they were human. Humans with weapons in Sunnydale. And no one believed her. She sighed, wondering how she was supposed to handle this one. "Where's Willow when I need her," she asked softly, a thoughtful look on her face as she continued to study the house.

Across the street and one house back, Faith was dividing her attention between surveillance on the Black Knight's base of operations and Buffy. She'd been slightly surprised when the slayer had walked by, her attention focused on the same house Faith was watching. She'd watched her for twenty minutes at least, wondering what the other girl was thinking. She'd seen Buffy lean forward as the guard on the East side had come into view, letting her know that Buffy was more aware than she might have originally thought. Faith wasn't really all that surprised. Buffy had always been a good slayer, maybe too good. She looked unhappy, Faith realized with a small frown. Her eyes were sad now, no longer shining with amusement. Her hair was a light brown, probably her natural color Faith thought a bit snidely. She didn't look like she'd had a lot to laugh about lately. She narrowed her eyes as Buffy said something, talking to herself. She saw the word Willow and frowned. Shaking her head, Faith looked back towards the house, letting Michael know the movements of the guards. She would not feel sorry for Buffy.

********************

Willow looked up from the computer screen as Faith sat down beside her. She smiled at her lover, "Sleepy?"

Faith shrugged, "Not really. Just a bit edgy. I hate sitting and waiting and watching. If we know it's them, why can't we go in and kick some ass?"

"Because there is too much at risk," Willow reminded softly. "We have no knowledge of their operation. Until we are confident that we will be destroying them entirely, we can't strike."

"I know, I just hate waiting," Faith groaned, leaning over and catching Willow's lips in a deep kiss. When she pulled back, she said, "Morning."

"Missed you last night," Willow said with a smile.

"Thank God tonight is Mikey's night," Faith said, making a face. She glanced at Willow's computer, "Whatcha doin?"

"Checking the blue prints for that house and running scans on the property. Trying to figure out if the actual base is the house or just somewhere on the grounds," Willow said.

"Fascinating," Faith said dryly, laughing as Willow glared at her. "What? Sitting around outside is even better than staring at that damn box all day."

"I could use a break actually. Hungry?" Willow asked.

Faith leered at her, "Always for you, Red."

"We have cereal," Willow said, rolling her eyes. "Let's get something to eat then you can tell me what you saw last night while I get back to work."

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Faith said, glancing around. "Where are the others?"

"Nikita and Michael hit the real estate office and then plan to survey the grounds surrounding the park. Birky is sleeping. He was up all night gathering new Intel," Willow said. "Why?"

"Have you received anything from Walter yet?" Faith asked as she grabbed a couple of bowls and began to pour them cereal.

"No," Willow said, not wanting to get into another argument.

"I saw her last night," Faith admitted, looking up with a wry smile. "She was watching the house. Guess slayer instincts kicked in and all. She didn't see me, but I watched her awhile."

"She's aware of the Black Knights?" Willow asked, a feeling of dread entering her. "That's not good."

Faith shrugged, "I don't know if she knows who or what they are, I just know that she's curious about them. That could be bad news."

"Very bad," Willow whispered, closing her eyes. "I can't kill her, Faith. If Walter doesn't send it, I don't know what I'm going to do."

"He'll send it," Faith said, taking her hand and squeezing. "Walter has never let us down. He's not about to start now. We won't kill her."

"We?" Willow opened her eyes and smiled slowly.

"We," Faith rolled her eyes before looking serious, "she looks like shit, Will. She's barely hanging on, isn't she?"

"I didn't really get a good look at her," Willow said with a frown. "I've kept tabs and was under the impression that she was all right."

"It's in her eyes. She reminds me of me a few years ago," Faith said softly. "They're sad, almost dead."

"Don't," Willow said quietly. "I don't want to hear. I want to finish this mission and leave before she ever realizes we're here. I don't want to have to drug her or to worry about her or to kill her."

"It'll all work out fine, Will," Faith said with a smile, pushing away her thoughts about Buffy, "It always does. Look at us."

"Yeah, look at us," Willow smiled and squeezed Faith's hand, deciding that she would call and check in with Walter after breakfast when Faith went upstairs to sleep. See if he was able to smuggle some of the drug and ship to her. Just to reassure herself that there was an alternative to death if it came to it.

********************

Buffy took a sip of her coffee, knowing that the caffeine would keep her awake but not really caring. It had been several days since she had seen Giles. She'd spoken to him once or twice, always putting on the best acting performance of her life as she tried to recapture the old Buffy, not sure if he believed her or not. She had moved out of the apartment that she and Riley had shared, calling off their engagement and moving back in with her mother. Thankfully, he had not argued. In fact, he'd seemed almost glad to see her leave. She knew she should be upset about that, but she couldn't.

It had been nearly five days since she had seen Willow. She'd spent hours walking the streets, searching for a sign of red hair with no results. She'd usually end up watching that spooky house on Maple, using the time to think and collect her thoughts. She knew that whoever was living at that house was not good. She'd seen men with weapons plus activity in the early morning hours. She still didn't get a supernatural vibe which confused her quite a bit. She was a slayer. She was supposed to fight demons and vampires, not men with automatic weapons. What possible defense would she have against a gun? She kept telling herself to stay away from the house, to not worry and to concentrate on demons, but there weren't many demons to fight and she'd always find herself back under the tree on Maple. She figured it was boredom that kept her coming back.

Buffy finished her drink, deciding to get another. She went to the counter, placed her order then sat back down to wait for it to be prepared. She'd gotten a call from Xander the day before, checking on her after he heard she had left Riley. He was a good friend and she felt rather guilty for being such a flake lately. He had enough to deal with in his life without having a hysterical best friend on his hands too. She looked at her watch, seeing that it was barely eight. She'd finish her second drink then do a quick patrol, check a few more places for Willow. Since she had realized that her best friend was alive, she had stopped going to the cemetery to visit the empty grave. It was just a taunting reminder to her that she had not yet located her friend.

The biggest question that tended to weigh on her mind was why. Why had Willow faked her death? Why was the redhead now back in Sunnydale? Why had she not been contacted by her best friend? Why would Willow make her friends believe she was dead? Buffy knew that it had to be something very important. Willow would never have hurt them all so badly if she had had a choice. The slayer had not yet determined if Willow's disappearance had been caused by some enemy or if Willow was now helping some greater cause. Those were the only two things that she could justify in her mind to cause Willow to go along with such a terrible lie. She didn't think the council was involved, though she hadn't ruled out that option. She had no idea where to even start looking for something like that, but finding herself concentrating more on that idea than of Willow being manipulated by some evil demons.

Buffy heard her number called and went to pick up her drink. She took the glass, glancing at the handsome man that was now ordering. He had the most delicious accent, she decided. French. And those eyes. Pretty nice. Must be passing through, she decided. She would have remembered seeing him. But, he did seem vaguely familiar. Maybe she had seen him before. She dismissed it and turned to go back to her table. She froze when she heard him order what had been Willow's favorite drink from the Espresso Pump. She hadn't heard of anyone drinking the exact same mixture before, adding a touch of lemon to their coffee. She went back to her table, her eyes watching the attractive man suspiciously. He had some fancy accent, had ordered Willow's favorite drink, and seemed sort of familiar. Maybe she was overreacting, but she might have just stumbled upon the way to finding Willow.

********************

She had lost him. Hell, she'd never really had him. After studying the Frenchman for nearly ten minutes while he had waited for his order, Buffy had convinced herself that there was a connection between this guy and Willow. She didn't know how she knew, she just did. It was much the same way that she had felt all along that Willow might not be dead. At the time, she'd chalked it up to the disagreement that they had had before Willow had died, knowing that it was crazy to think her friend had survived that fire. Now, though, she knew she had been right. The feeling, the intuition, the bond, whatever it was that existed between her and her best friend had not been broken. Despite all the problems that they had before Willow's 'death' and the actual death itself, that bond had remained. Now, that same intuition was telling her that the Frenchman knew Willow.

She'd followed him out of the Espresso Pump, as far as the parking lot where he had gotten into a dark blue Honda of all things. She'd have expected something mysterious. Not a four door Accord. She had noted the license plate number as he had driven off, watching his direction. She had planned to follow him then, needing to see if she was crazy or if there really was something to trusting her intuition. Instead, she'd been called by Xander. She'd been so tempted to let her cell phone go to voice mail, but another part of her worried that her friend might need her. Now, after hanging up following a nearly twenty minute conversation about nothing, she was still standing in the parking lot by the Espresso Pump.

With a groan, she ran a hand over her face, wondering what was happening to her. Maybe they were right, maybe she was going crazy. She couldn't think of any other more accurate descriptions to describe this weird belief she had that her best friend was still alive, this need she had to find Willow and not let the girl out of her life this time, the obsession she seemed to have for that guarded house on Maple. None of it made sense, yet it did. A part of her understood, even if she didn't. She knew that it was getting worse to keep Giles from finding out what she was doing. She had avoided him successfully for nearly a week, with Xander's help. But she couldn't always avoid him. Sunnydale wasn't all that big. Plus, he was her watcher, her father in many ways. He was also scared that she was going to kill innocent people due to some delusional paranoia he was convinced she would experience. Didn't make for many a happy meetings.

She should forget it all. Forget that she had seen Willow, forget that her best friend was still alive, forget that she was hiding somewhere in town, forget that dozens of armed men were living in a house on Maple planning who knew what, forget that she was so bored with slaying and her life that she couldn't stand it, forget it all. She should go to Giles, make nice and give the performance of her life by acting as if nothing weird had even happened. Meet Anya and Xander for dinner and laugh and joke as if she was as happy as they thought she should be. With every passing moment that she gave in to her obsession, her quest for Willow, she lost a little bit more. She couldn't lose it all, not because of something she couldn't really understand much less explain. She'd end up alone. She wasn't sure if she was that strong, to risk it all just for the slight chance that she'd find Willow. And if she did find her, then what? It was obvious Willow was hiding, making them think she was dead for a reason. Would anything really change if Willow was found?

Buffy shook her head, having had this particular conversation or variations of it with herself for the last few days. She was still no closer to coming up with answers. She started to walk towards home, feeling tired suddenly. Her Mom was in Europe on a business trip searching local markets for pieces for the gallery. She'd be gone for another few weeks, which suited Buffy just fine. She'd been able to move back home without all the questions concerning what went wrong between her and Riley. Maybe in a few more weeks she'd have some answers for those questions. Maybe not. Either way, it was nice being alone. This was the first time she'd ever really been alone, not having a roommate or fiance or mother around. She needed this, she had decided. Needed some time to be on her own. Especially right now. And that brought her back to the original problem. Was it all worth it? Risk it all to find her best friend and face whatever secrets Willow had? Face losing her again. Buffy sighed, knowing that there was only one thing she had figured out over the last week that was certain. She needed Willow. With that in mind, she turned the corner and started her search for the blue Accord, her decision made.

********************

Willow held the small vial in her hand, thanking the gods for Walter. She sighed as she put the treatment back into the cushioned box. She hoped she wouldn't have to use it, but at least it was there if needed. She put the box on the dresser before leaving the room to join the others. She walked downstairs, her eyes finding Faith's. She smiled, nodding slightly to let her lover know that the package had indeed been the memory formula. She had thought that she would feel relieved, having a way to protect Buffy if needed. But, instead, she felt even more stressed. She just wanted this mission to end so they could leave. She wanted out of Sunnydale, the sooner the better.

Faith continued to watch Willow as the redhead took a seat beside Birkhoff at the computer. It had been nearly a week since Buffy had see Willow. So far, the blonde slayer hadn't run across her again. Faith, though, had seen Buffy several times. Each time at the house on Maple. It worried her, far more than she was letting Willow see. Slayer instincts had kicked in, it would appear. Buffy was curious about the house which meant that their mission could be jeopardized. The Knights seemed unaware of their presence, but, if Buffy had been watching the house prior to Section's knowledge of it, she might have been sighted. From her experience, Faith doubted that Buffy had been seen. Activity at the Knights' house was normal, undetectable to the untrained eye. In fact, Operations had okayed the go ahead on their mission. If all went well, they would begin the operation the following evening. They could be out of Sunnydale by the end of the week. Faith couldn't wait to get back home, get out of this town.

"What did Walter send you?" Nikita asked Willow after she finished reading her Intel.

"What?" Willow glanced at the blonde, seeing curiosity in her blue eyes. She knew there was no point in denying that the mysterious brown box had come from Walter. He was the only one that would send her anything. Instead, she just said, "Oh, it was a handheld unit I left at Section. Thought I might need it on the mission."

"That was nice of him," Nikita said, knowing without a doubt that the redhead was lying to her. She glanced at Faith, seeing the worry and concern in the girl's dark eyes as she sat staring at Willow. Something was wrong. Nikita's eyes narrowed as she looked back at Willow, wanting to demand answers. She knew it would be pointless, though. Willow was far too good to confess her secrets.

"Do you think we'll be outta here by Friday?" Faith asked, distracting Nikita from her line of questioning.

"I hope so," Birkhoff said, making a face. "I want to go home."

"Me too," Willow echoed softly.

"We should be leaving after the mission tomorrow evening," Nikita said slowly. "Michael and I have already started packing up our supplies. We shall all finish packing tomorrow. The van will be loaded before we begin the mission."

Willow was halted from speaking as the door opened. Michael entered, doing his best to balance a tray of cups from the Espresso Pump. The Frenchman put everything on the table, cursing in his native language as hot black liquid spilled onto his hand. He glared at Faith who laughed at his misfortune.

"Poor Mikey," Faith said with a smile as she took her cup, "able to face down sadistic crime lords without blinking but defeated when faced with some hot coffee."

"Ignore her, Michael," Willow instructed, rolling her eyes as she took her cup. She took a sip, moaning in appreciation. "Thanks."

"Michael, what's wrong?" Nikita asked, having watched her lover since his arrival. She knew his moods well enough now to know that something must have happened.

He sighed, making a face as he sat down, saying, "We have a problem."

********************

"What sort of problem?" Nikita asked.

Michael looked at her, saying, "I was followed."

"Followed? By who?" Faith asked, her humor fading as she realized that their position might have been compromised.

"That's the part that is confusing me," he admitted. "I've not seen her before."

"Her?" Willow asked softly, not wanting to hear his answer, but knowing who it must be.

"A girl, your age. Light brown hair, athletic, approximately 5'4"," Michael catalogued, watching Willow's face. It was as he suspected, he realized as she flinched, exchanging a look with Faith. "She followed me from the coffee house, but I was able to lose her. Who is she, Willow?"

Willow looked at him sharply, deciding to deny in hopes that they would be gone from Sunnydale before it became an issue. "I've got no idea, Michael."

"Willow," he spoke softly, glancing at the others before saying, "We are friends, no? What you tell us, I promise that it will not leave this room. Who is she?"

"I can't tell you," Willow whispered, "if Section finds out that she's been looking for me, they'll kill her. I can't let them know about her. We're leaving tomorrow. Can't we just forget it?"

"Section won't find out," Nikita said, giving Michael a warning look. "Willow, honey, we need to know who she is. She might be in danger if she's already gotten this close."

"Her name is Buffy and she's my best friend besides Faith," Willow said, looking away. "The other day, I think she saw me. Since then, knowing Buffy, she's been looking for me. She's stubborn and loyal, and she won't stop looking as long as she thinks I'm in Sunnydale."

"And you didn't think we should know?" Birkhoff asked, hurt that she didn't trust them but also worried that Michael would report the girl to Section.

"She wasn't an issue." Willow said. "I honestly don't know why she would have followed Michael. She doesn't know him, hasn't seen me with him. She only knows me and Faith."

"Maybe she is smarter than you give her credit," Michael said, conflicted as he looked from Willow to Nikita. The girl, Buffy, had seen his face. She knew that Willow was in town. Those two things alone signed her death certificate. He knew, though, that he could not kill a girl that merely searching for the ghost of her dead best friend.

"Well, smart is something we've definitely never accused Buffy of being," Faith said with a smile.

"If she does not become an issue," Michael said slowly, "then we shall not make it an issue."

"Thank you, Michael," Willow said with a relieved smile. "If she does find me, I'll take care of it personally. I promise."

Michael nodded, satisfied by the resolve in the redhead's face. He glanced at Nikita, asking, "Is the mission set?"

"It's being prepared now," Nikita said, turning to the computer as he joined her, their discussion forgetting Buffy and concentrating on their mission.

********************

Buffy hadn't found the car yet. She'd found two dark blue Accords, but they'd had California plates. Plus, she'd sneaked a peek in the window and not seen the gorgeous Frenchman anywhere. She ran a hand over her face, wondering if she had finally gone off the deep end. She was walking the streets looking for some guy she'd never met based on the belief that, since he'd ordered Willow's favorite coffee, he must have a connection to her best friend that was believed dead. Not only was she looking for his car, she was trespassing and looking in windows. Yep, it definitely sounded crazy to her. Maybe Giles was right. Maybe she was having some sort of slayer type of mental breakdown.

She sighed as she continued walking, not believing that she was imagining everything she'd seen these last few days. She knew that Willow was alive. She knew that her best friend was in town. She knew that mysterious guy at the Espresso Pump was a link to her friend. If she found the right blue Accord, she might find Willow and then she could finally get some answers. Of course, that was where Buffy found herself torn. Did she want answers? What explanation could Willow have for faking her death and disappearing for so long with no word that wouldn't be bad and so not easy to understand? Buffy was almost to the point of not caring why Willow had had to do what she'd done, mostly concentrating on her need to see her best friend, to know that Willow wasn't gone, to know that she hadn't actually lost the most important person in her life.

Buffy knew that there would be no turning back once she found Willow. Was she really ready to accept the consequences of finding the redhead? Could she deal with whatever reason there was to explain the faked death, the gorgeous Frenchman, and the reappearance of Willow in Sunnydale now? If you'd asked her that question even a month before, she'd have said no. She hadn't been ready, hadn't been prepared to deal with the idea that her instincts about Willow's death were right. Now, though, she'd lost nearly everything. Riley had left her, Giles thought she was going insane, Willow was gone. Xander was the only thing she had left and she had to share him with Anya. She needed Willow, was ready to deal with anything that stood in the way of her finding her best friend, ready to accept whatever reasons the redhead had for agreeing to fake her death and all that. It didn't really matter to Buffy what had caused it, she just wanted to hug Willow and apologize for whatever they had been fighting about before she'd 'died' and to make sure that the redhead knew that she was her best friend forever and always.

Tonight was the night, Buffy decided. She wasn't going to go home until she had found that car, until she found out if that guy was indeed a connection to the redhead like she thought, until she had found her best friend. After she located Willow, well, Buffy wasn't sure what would happen next, not having gotten that far in her thinking, but she knew that it didn't really matter. She'd finally feel complete again after getting Willow back in her life and she'd be able to deal with anything the future decided to throw at her. She stopped walking as her hazel eyes found a dark blue Accord in a driveway a few houses in front of her. She didn't know if it was the same car, but she was about to find out.

Buffy stopped thinking about Willow and the past and the future as she went into slayer mode, carefully moving towards the car, looking around to make sure there were no potential threats. Her attention was focused completely on the car in front of her and determining whether or not it belonged to the coffee guy. She glanced at the plates, noting that they were from California, just as the other two cars she had found had been. She frowned, wondering how many damn blue Accords there could possibly be in Sunnydale. She moved towards the front of the car, looking inside and seeing nothing of interest. The car was spotless, not even a candy wrapper in the floor board. There was nothing to indicate that it was owned by a cute French guy with blue eyes, but there was also nothing to indicate that it wasn't. She glanced at the house, a two story that looked pretty much like every other house on the block. There were lights on downstairs as well as upstairs. She didn't see any shadows of movement, didn't know how many people might be inside. She walked towards the house, knowing that she could look through the blinds well enough to see if that guy was in there or if Willow was in this house. With a determined look in her eyes, the slayer moved closer to the window, hoping that she would finally get lucky and find Willow.

********************

Buffy looked into the window of the two story house, again wondering if she really was going crazy like Giles suspected. The room she was looking in was empty, which was rather strange since it was obviously a living room. Hazel eyes narrowing with suspicion, she looked around to make sure no one was watching her and then moved towards the next window. Maybe they were moving, she decided. Either moving in, which would explain the tasty French accent, or moving out, which would explain the lack of furnishings. Either way, her curiosity was now piqued and she was even more determined to figure out if this guy had a connection to Willow.

She carefully looked into the window, seeing a kitchen. All the appliances one would expect were in the room and she could see a cereal box on the counter. Cocoa Puffs, Willow's favorite. True, there were a lot of people that liked Cocoa Puffs so that didn't really mean anything, but it was another interesting coincidence that convinced the blonde slayer that she was finally on the right track. There was no fence around the house so she snuck into the backyard, alert to her surroundings and ready to fight if need be. The only windows in the back were into the kitchen, which she'd already seen, and a dark room that might have been a library. She moved around the other side of the house, able to see light from a hallway and a staircase through the open door of the dark room. From this angle, she could clearly see several boxes stacked around the room as well as what looked like expensive computer equipment. She wanted to get a closer look, but didn't want to get to close to the house for fear of alarms or something else that might indicate her presence. Add paranoid to the crazy, she smiled slightly.

She was about to move to the other window when she saw a shadow heading towards the door. Ducking out of the way but keeping a view of the room, her eyes widened in shock when the light was turned on and she found herself looking at Faith. A very alive version of the brunette slayer that had supposedly died by her own hand in prison. What the fuck? Those three words kept repeating in Buffy's mind as she stared at the girl she had thought dead. Faith looked good, she had to admit, especially for someone dead! The brunette was wearing black jeans and a red shirt, her hair pulled back into a sloppy ponytail. Buffy watched Faith walk towards one of the boxes, wondering if she had fallen asleep and was dreaming. Faith was dead. They'd received the letter from prison stating that the brunette had killed herself. In fact, that suicide was the reason that Willow had pushed them all away. She hadn't understood why the redhead had been so convinced it wasn't true, but she'd figured Faith just got tired of prison and took the easy way out. Okay, so she'd been shocked at first, having through Faith was tougher than that, but she had never really known the brash slayer that well so it had seemed somewhat logical to her. She had argued with Willow when the redhead had insisted that it was a lie, hazel eyes thoughtful as she realized that it was much like her belief that Willow wasn't dead.

No, this wasn't happening. Faith was not walking around and looking through a box when she was supposed to be six feet under. If she was, that meant that it had all been a lie. The official paperwork from prison, the death certificate, everything. Who would want to release a slayer from prison and fake her death? Actually, the more important question to the blonde slayer was who would want to take her best friend and fake *her* death? Were the two connected? Well, duh Buffy, that was a brilliant question, she thought with a grimace. Of course they had to be connected. Faith dies in a way that doesn't really seem in character. Willow questions the death and suddenly dies herself not long after in a mysterious fire. Nearly a year later, Buffy sees Willow wandering around the streets of Sunnydale and now finds Faith at the house with the cute French guy who ordered Willow's favorite coffee. There had to be a connection. That meant that Willow was alive and must be in this house!

Buffy was both relieved and worried as she had this realization. Willow and Faith had never been friends as far as she knew, so how were they connected? Why had Willow been so stubborn about accepting the news of Faith's suicide? Why had Willow allowed them all to believe she was dead if she wasn't? Willow would never have hurt them in that way, letting them think she had died, if there wasn't a really good reason. She had either done it to protect them for some reason or she hadn't had a choice. Either way, Buffy didn't get a very good feeling about it all. The cute French guy hadn't seem evil, no weird vibes or strange feelings, but he had had a bit of an edge to him, like he was a fighter and always alert. Whatever it was, it must be big, since they'd managed to fake a death in prison and had set fire to the Rosenberg house without hesitation in order to declare Willow legally dead. All sorts of thoughts and ideas ran through the slayer's mind.

Demons were mostly ruled out. It wouldn't make sense for them to bust a slayer out of prison or kidnap a witch. Besides, it wasn't like they'd have the power to do all the sneaky covering up that must have gone on. It was like something out of one of those cheesy action movies Xander loved, she decided, wishing she'd paid more attention to what was being said instead of concentrating on the weapons and explosions. Could it be the government? She wasn't very political and had never paid attention in Government class, but she didn't think they were likely to go to such extremes to recruit workers. Despite the Initiative, she didn't think most of them even knew about slayers and witches and things that went bump in the night anyway. Okay, think Buffy. Faith was walking around looking pretty damn happy, didn't seem at all like she was being forced to obey some evil demon or work for the bad guys. She didn't completely trust Faith, even with the vows of seeking redemption and turning herself in, she just couldn't bring herself to forget what Faith had done during senior year. People could change and she'd been willing to give the brunette slayer a chance to prove she was changing, but the note about the suicide had seemed to put an end to that. Now, though, was Faith working for good guys or bad guys? If Willow was involved, Buffy had to believe it was the good guys. The redhead wasn't the type to help the bad guys, even if threatened.

Before Buffy could continue thinking, she noticed someone entering the room. The blonde slayer smiled when she saw Willow, a very much alive and smiling Willow. She instantly forgave her for lying about her death, for everything that had happened, because she was alive. Buffy was surprised when Willow moved towards Faith, eyes narrowing as she saw the smile cross Faith's face. The smile that could only be described as lusty and affectionate. Whoa, when had that happened? Buffy didn't remember her best friend ever having those kind of thoughts about Faith, or, at least if she had, Willow definitely hadn't shared them with her. She watched as the girls kissed, clearly seeing that they had feelings for each other. Was that it? Was that the reason Willow had known that Faith wouldn't kill herself? Had the redhead been carrying on some secret relationship with the slayer? If so, why hadn't she said anything? Buffy loved Willow completely, had accepted that her best friend was very open minded when it came to romantic love and had even tolerated that Tara girl because Willow liked the quiet little witch. Faith might be a pain in the ass, but she was definitely a step up from Tara in Buffy's opinion. Why keep it a secret? Okay, so it was a known fact that she didn't really like Faith that much and didn't trust her, but she would have been willing to understand the attraction if Willow had told her. She might not have been happy about it and might have tried to talk Willow out of falling for someone that was a bit dangerous, but she'd have accepted it. Willow hadn't even given her a chance to try to deal with it, keeping it secret and doing whatever it was she'd done that had gotten her mixed up in whatever Faith was in.

Buffy couldn't deal with all this right now. She had believed Willow was alive, but a part of her had wondered if she wasn't just crazy. Now, she knew that she had been right, that the redhead wasn't dead, that Faith wasn't even dead, and that both her best friend and fellow slayer were sharing loving smoochies while everyone else believed they were dead! She was mad and upset and concerned and relieved and so mixed up that she didn't know how to deal with this new information. She knew that she wouldn't tell anyone. Not only because her friends already thought she was going mental, but because she didn't want to put Willow or even Faith, for that matter, in any kind of danger. She wanted to talk to Willow, she decided, but somehow didn't think it would be a good idea to just knock on the door. There was an aura of secrecy around the house and, considering the fighter vibe she'd gotten of the cute French guy, she didn't want to piss him off. She kept watching as Willow moved past Faith and opened another box, smiling as she pulled out what looked like some fancy gun, scolding Faith for losing her weapon before kissing the brunette slayer.

Guns! There were guns. Willow was tossing around a gun like it was natural, as if she was used to handling the weapon. Whatever they had gotten involved in obviously used guns. She backed away from the window, the presence of the weapons changing things. Buffy wasn't very smart, tending to leave the thinking and logic parts to Giles and Willow. Give her something to kill and she was in her element. Give her something to figure out and she was a bit lost. But even she was smart enough to start putting the pieces of the puzzle together. True, it was a puzzle that no one but her seemed to believe existed, but that only made her more determined to figure it all out. That creepy house on Maple, the one that gave of the evil but non-demony vibe. She had patrolled that area before but never felt any kind of awareness that things might be off, in a way, until recently. She'd watched it several times, seeing men with large guns that skulked in shadows and seemed to be guarding the house. She now finds out that her two friends, okay one best friend and one kinda friend, were not really dead, were apparently having a relationship, and were hiding out in a relatively empty house. Oh, and they had guns of their own. It didn't take a lot of brains to figure out the two must be connected some way. She just didn't understand how or why. Buffy moved away from the house, deciding that she'd go get some dinner and then come back. She could hide out in the bushes beside the house and not be seen. She wanted to talk to Willow and was willing to wait for an opportunity to just give her best friend a hug.

********************

End of Part 26