Inell's Fanfiction Archive

"Why did I pick you?" Faith echoed Willow's question, not at all sure what she should say. If she were smart, she'd give some story of wanting to hurt her fellow slayer then she'd leave. Let Buffy console Willow and maybe the redhead would be happy. Of course, she was never accused of being that smart. "Why not?"

"Faith, drop the tough girl act," Buffy said in annoyance as she watched Willow's face. This was so not helping. Faith was being deliberately stubborn.

"She can't drop it, Buffy," Willow said quietly, her eyes staring into Faith's. "If she did, she'd have to deal with the fact that she's human. That she's scared and that she has no idea what tomorrow is going to bring."

"I know I'm human, Red," Faith said, annoyance flashing across her pretty face. "I spent several months in a coma, remember? Funny thing, I couldn't move but I could think. I dreamed a lot. The entire thing was like some never-ending dream in fact. Tons of flashes and images. Confusing as hell, but at the same time, so...." she struggled to find the right word.

"Clarifying?" Willow asked, slightly surprised that Faith could remember what had been going through her mind during those months.

"Yeah, that," Faith said. "Damn, this isn't going to work. I'm not some talking kind of girl. I don't know how to say what I want to say."

"It's not like you're going to be graded on this," Buffy said with a small smile.

"Oh, easy for you to say. You talk to her like you're quoting some book, all big words and easy emotions," Faith said crossly. "I don't like to talk about how I feel."

"Ahem," Willow cleared her throat, drawing their attention. "I'm still here and getting more confused with every passing minute. So, would you please stop talking around me?"

"Sorry," both slayers said with sheepish grins.

"Faith, I don't care if you speak with grunts and gestures," Willow said, "I just want to understand why you did this."

"Grunts?" Faith smiled a wicked smile. "Oh, honey, I could easily show you if you want some grunts."

"Faith!" Willow said, her face flaming. "Stop avoiding the question by using your defense mechanisms."

"Good one, Wills. You've been paying attention in Psych," Buffy said with a smile.

"Great, just what I need. Some freshman psych major analyzing me," Faith muttered as she watched the easy friendship flow between Willow and Buffy with a jealous eye.

"I'm undecided actually," Willow said, seeing Faith's confused look. "My major? Undecided."

"I'm beginning to wish I'd never woken up," Faith said, giving Willow what she was knew was a pout.

"So am I," Willow answered in return.

"I wanted you," Faith said roughly. "OK? That's why I chose you. Hell, I hadn't planned on coming here and fucking you. I mean, I was in B's body. I could have gone out and done the football team. I flirted with that vampire, considered doing him but figured he might kill me. Besides, he was just not doing anything to her body. You, though, well, like I said, all I had for months were dreams."

"You almost fucked Spike? In my body?" Buffy said in outrage. "Eew!"

"You wanted me?" Willow said softly. "To hurt Buffy? You knew that hurting me would hurt her more than if you had had sex with Spike."

"I didn't even think about it, honestly. I hadn't planned on giving her her body back," Faith admitted. "I was going to leave here. I just couldn't without seeing you. And when I did, well, I let my emotions and her hormones get away with me."

"You really wanted me?" Willow asked, wondering if she had somehow slipped into Xander's dream of having both slayers want him.

"Hell yeah," Faith said, smiling slightly. "Had for a little while. Bet you never knew that all I wanted to do that night at the Mayor's was kiss you senseless, did you?"

"This is..." Willow struggled, "You're kidding right? You hated me. You definitely didn't want me."

"Willow, Willow, Willow," Faith shook her head and smiled softly. "I always wanted you. You just didn't want me. You'd already cast me as the villain when I started to patrol with Buffy. You never really gave me much of a chance, ya know? I was taking your friend away so you hated me."

"That's not true!" Willow denied. "I gave you a chance. You always pushed us so much. You didn't want to be friends with any of us. You never gave us a chance."

"Will, I hate to say it, but Faith is kind of right," Buffy said quietly. She flinched as green eyes narrowed on her. "What? It's the truth. You were almost rude to her from the start. I never really knew why, but I can see it now. You didn't want to lose me."

"I...No...I..." Willow frowned as she looked between the two slayers. She finally sighed, running a hand through her red hair, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize...I never..."

"It's OK," Faith said with a shrug. "You know what I did. That would have happened with or without a welcome from ya. You had Wolfie at the time. Not interested in switching teams and playing with me. You don't know how frustrating it was to see you and him together, all kissy and cuddly cute. I wanted to skin him so many times." She laughed sharply, "Mayor told me I could in fact, when I joined him. He gave me permission to kill the wolf. But, I knew how that would make you feel so I let him put his paws on you."

"Wish you'd have skinned him," Buffy said crossly, thinking of Oz and what he had put Willow through. "I'd have helped."

"OK, enough with skinning my ex-boyfriend," Willow said, knowing she should be upset at what they had been saying but knowing they didn't mean it in a negative way. She frowned, thinking that skinning was pretty negative.

"If it means anything, I didn't mean to hurt you," Faith said hurriedly. She wasn't used to apologizing for anything.

"You didn't?" Willow asked.

"No. I lov...I mean, I...no, I didn't," Faith said, stumbling over her words.

"It meant a lot to me," Willow whispered, watching Faith start to smile. "It was...I don't know, I can't even describe what you made me feel. I'd never thought that I was that way until that night. And afterwards, just talking to you, it was nice too. I wish you hadn't been in the wrong body though."

"You'd never have let me in," Faith said quietly, her eyes caught by Willow's sad green ones.

"Guess we'll never know that for sure, will we?" Willow asked, not expecting an answer. She sighed again, not sure what to say. She had wanted answers and boy had she got them. Not one, but two beautiful women that both seemed to want her. Buffy spoke of love and friendship. Faith spoke of lust and hinted at love. She knew they expected her to decide, to choose one of them with the other leaving. But, she couldn't. She was still reeling from the shock of finding out that it was emotions and not retribution that had sent Faith to her bed, that had made Buffy bring the brunette slayer back. She couldn't be expected to decide who she loved or wanted to be with in such a short time. Hell, she didn't even know. She loved Buffy, the blonde being her best friend. But, did she love her enough to risk losing what she might have with Faith? And she had started to fall for Faith that night, realized that she had acted badly back when they had first met. Did she dare risk losing Buffy for what may or may not happen with her former enemy? It was too much, too soon. How could she choose? "I need some air."

"Wills?" Buffy asked, seeing her friend's confused face. "We can go, if you need to think. I'm sure you never expected all this."

"Yeah, I could use a good patrol," Faith said, wanting to beat some vampire into the ground. She was scared to death that she was going to lose Willow before she even had her to lose. For that, some unlucky vampire would pay.

"She's right. I didn't patrol last night," Buffy said. She smiled softly at Willow, "Why don't you stay in and deal with all this. We'll go patrol then crash at Mom's tonight. You can call us tomorrow?"

"Thanks, Buffy," Willow said, smiling at the blonde. She glanced at both girls as they stood and moved towards the girl, still wondering how on Earth she was supposed to deal with all of this, "Be careful."

"Always, Red," Faith said with a wink as her confidence came back. She was going to patrol. Kicking demon ass was something she was good at.

Willow watched them leave, wondering what Giles would think if he knew they were patrolling together again after so much had happened between them. Her friend and her enemy. And now she had to choose one and lose the other. She closed her eyes, thinking suddenly that life was not fair.