Inell's Fanfiction Archive

Buffy stood in the dorm room, her nude body cast in the glow of the lamp. She trailed her fingers delicately over the fading bruises on her breasts, the bite mark already gone. It had been four days since her entire world had been changed. Four days since she had realized that Faith, while in her body, had seduced and made love with Willow. Four days since Willow had looked her in the face. Now the redhead was rarely in the dorm, and when she was, she always seemed to be *busy*. Too busy to talk or even smile. It had been four days since she had felt the warmth of Willow's smile, and she missed it. Missed it far more than she had ever thought possible. There was an ache that was starting to spread over her heart and Buffy had no idea what to do.

The day she had found out, after Willow had run from the room, Buffy had taken a shower to try to wake up so she could think. During that shower, she had discovered the undeniable proof that her body had made love with Willow's. There had been a bite mark on her left breast, nothing deep but obviously made in the height of passion. There had been the bruises around her breasts, bruises that fit against her lover's fingers as they had kneaded her breasts. She had trailed her hazel eyes down her body, finding the other evidence of a night spent making love. The love bites on her stomach, the redness of her clit, the teeth marks on her upper thigh. She had never imagined that Willow could be that rough and the thought that her body had experienced that, well, it had made her wet despite the situation. To her horror, she had found herself running her own fingers over the marks, closing her eyes and imagining vividly how they had appeared. She had forgotten that it had not really been her and was soon pushing her fingers into her wetness until she had cum with a small cry of Willow's name.

Even now, remembering that Willow had touched her, bit her, tasted her, it made her wet. She couldn't understand why. She had never thought about Willow in that way, had she? Sure, she loved Willow. She was her best friend. The only female friend she had ever had. She wanted to protect her and keep her safe. And she had always found her attention drawn to those Willow's lips as she had wondered what the redhead had tasted like, she reluctantly admitted to herself. But, their friendship meant more than some passing lust. That was why she had never said anything. Well, that and the knowledge that Willow would have run screaming from her had she known some of the thoughts Buffy had had that she would not even admit to herself. And now, she had lost Willow. Only, it had not been something she had done or said. It had been Faith. It was all Faith's fault. It was always Faith's fault. If they hadn't traded bodies, well, she and Willow would still be friends and she would be able to be around Riley without comparing him constantly to Willow.

Buffy ran a hand through her brownish blonde hair, deciding that she had done enough thinking. This was stupid. It had not been her, it had never been her. It had just been her body. While she could understand if Willow was embarrassed, if that was why the girl was ignoring her, it didn't make things easier. She missed her best friend. All these thoughts she was having were new, or at least the fact that she would acknowledge them was new. She was so confused she could barely patrol. She found herself drifting off into an inner debate on whether her growing feelings for Willow were real or just some competitive reaction to the knowledge that Faith had had the redhead. She didn't think she was cold hearted enough to actually want Willow just to best Faith, so she discarded that idea, but it still stayed there in the back of her mind along with all the other doubts she was feeling.

Was she gay? For that matter, was Willow? Was this merely a friendly love that seemed to be blurring the lines of friendship and that of lovers? If she was gay, could Willow ever love her? Could they have a future with Faith's deed always in their past? Or was it Faith that had the redhead so thoughtful? Buffy knew from her time in the other slayer that there were emotions there. Maybe they weren't often shown, but they were there. Did Faith really love Willow or had it just been a stunt, a game? And, that night, had it been Buffy that Willow had made love with or had it really been Faith? She knew it had been her body, but it had been Faith inside. Faith's words and Faith's caresses. Faith's knowledge. Willow wouldn't talk about that night at all, so Buffy didn't know who Willow honestly believed it was. Sure, she knew at the time Willow had thought it was her. Now, though, knowing the truth, did Willow still want to believe it had been her or did the redhead understand it had been Faith? Buffy shook her head, knowing she was doing her best to give herself another headache.

Buffy moved towards her bed, pulling a large shirt over her head and then finding her sweat pants. She knew she wouldn't be going anywhere that night, having told Riley yet again that she had to study. She just found it uncomfortable being around him when she was dealing with so much inside. He was such a nice guy that she felt guilty for thinking about Willow when she was with him. He deserved better than that. So, she had decided to avoid him until she could understand what was happening inside. She was stuck though. Willow wouldn't talk about that night. Buffy couldn't understand it and move past it without knowing what had really happened. She knew Willow well enough to know that she had not been forced. Sure, Faith may have started it all, but Willow had been a willing participant. The big question that seemed to remain unanswered was did Willow have feelings for Faith? If she did, there was no way Buffy could come clean about her own doubts and fears and emotions and burden the redhead with that unwanted knowledge. But, if Willow wasn't talking, how was she supposed to find out?

Groaning, she knew the only path that she really had. She needed to find Faith. To look into the slayer's eyes and ask her if she loved Willow. If she did and Buffy felt that Willow could love Faith, there was nothing she could do. She'd have to deal with all of it privately, as she usually did. But, if she saw nothing in Faith's eyes, there would be nothing to stop her from going after Willow and making the girl see who really loved her. She hated the idea of losing to Faith, in a way, but she had to worry about Willow's happiness. While she didn't see a bright future being had for the girl with Faith, that was Willow's decision. It wouldn't be fair to make it into a contest as they usually made things. This was too important. If Faith hurt Willow, well, she'd be there to pick up the pieces. Buffy stood, knowing what she needed to do finally.

She was going to find Riley and break up with him. It wasn't fair to him to keep him around if she loved someone else. True, she wasn't sure the exact depth of her feelings for Willow, though she had a pretty good idea they were of the forever after kind. After that, she would find Faith. And she knew exactly who might know where the slayer was hiding. She glanced down, deciding there was no point in changing. She didn't need to be dressed up to break up with Riley. She hoped he understood, knowing somehow that he just might. She grabbed a bag and threw a couple of changes of clothes into it. If she hurried, she might be in LA by dusk.