John Stilinski is quietly terrifying. There have been a lot of supernatural creatures that are traditionally frightening that the pack has had to deal with in the six years Jackson’s been back in Beacon Hills, but John Stilinski scares him more than any of those. He’s not even really sure why. After all, John’s a ruggedly handsome man with an air of authority that demands attention. Stiles might not take after him much in looks, the dark hair and brown eyes are definitely from his mom, or even some aspects of his personality, the sarcasm and enthusiastic passion for a variety of subjects aren’t like John at all, but Stiles does have the authoritative air about him and keen observational skills that have developed as he’s gotten older. They also have a similar sense of humor.
Despite those similarities, Jackson still finds John intimidating. Possibly because he spends his night totally defiling the man’s only child in creative and energetic ways that would cause a lot of people to blush. Not that it’s all on Jackson, of course. Stiles is a kinky adventurous type who is always coming up with new ideas to try and who also likes pushing their boundaries to see if they’ll enjoy something he’s read or seen somewhere. Jackson’s happy to go along for the ride since he’s not as imaginative as Stiles is when it comes to sex. It works out, though, because he handles the romantic aspects of their relationship, going from full cliché to inventive, while Stiles guides their sex lives when they feel like playing. Thinking about sex with Stiles isn’t the best idea right now, so Jackson focuses on awkwardness instead.
At the moment, John is studying him with that serious gaze that somehow feels like he’s reading Jackson’s mind and possibly even seeing directly into his soul. There are noises coming from the kitchen where Stiles is making them dinner, insisting that they both sit and stay out of his way, but Jackson just knows he wants them to bond because he must be able to sense how awkward Jackson feels around his dad without having a buffer. They’ve been dating for over five years now, casually starting during their freshman year at Beacon Hills University and becoming more serious by the summer. They live in a house Jackson bought for them about a year later because he was spending most his time at Stiles’ cheap apartment instead of his dorm, so they decided to move in together in a new place they both picked out and love. They’ve even spent holidays and birthdays either with the pack or privately as a family of three. But Jackson continues to worry that John somehow finds him unworthy of Stiles.
“What’s on your mind, son?” John asks after the silence becomes unbearable. For Jackson, at least. John doesn’t seem affected, but he probably wouldn’t show it even if he was. He’s taken after his son when it comes to figuring out how to control himself so werewolves can’t read him that easily unless it’s a high stress situation where he doesn’t bother trying to guard his emotional privacy. He doesn’t bother to lie like Stiles, doesn’t have the sheer amount of practice, but he can project an easy calmness that feels like a false sense of security because Jackson’s seen it displayed several times when he knows John’s been pissed off.
“Nothing, Sir,” Jackson lies politely, fidgeting on the sofa and wondering how badly Stiles would punish him if he just went to the kitchen and insisted on helping. Probably no kissing for at least a day, since Stiles is evil and knows that’s worse punishment than just about anything else in Jackson’s opinion. Which means Jackson’s stuck sitting uncomfortably with the father of the man he loves staring at him like he knows what Jackson’s thinking. Not the sexy stuff but possibly the more serious romantic thing that he’s been keeping secret for months.
“If that’s the look of someone with nothing on their mind, I’d hate to see how you look if you are thinking about something.” John snorts. “I’ve sat across from hundreds of suspects, son. I know when someone’s lying to me, even with my weak little human senses. Now, my boy’s making pasta, which means we’ve got another half hour, at least, before we get a reprieve from his attempts at having us bond, so why don’t you try telling me the truth so we can have a nice little chat?”
“Humans aren’t weak,” Jackson corrects him, ducking his head when John flashes a knowing smile. Jackson’s defense of humans stems from Stiles, of course, because he’s watched him stand firm and face creatures that even have some of the werewolves in their pack scared. Stiles might be a reckless idiot unconcerned for his own safety most the time, but he’s also incredibly brave and willing to do whatever it takes to help his pack. Jackson is more than a little in awe of him, not even caring about the teasing he receives from Scott and Lydia about how often he praises Stiles for being amazing. The old Jackson would have never been so vocal about his appreciation for someone else, he knows, but the man he’s become is a little more secure in some areas of his life. Just not all of them.
“Good answer.” John’s lips twitch slightly but he keeps his expression neutral and passive. “Now, are you going to quit avoiding the subject or do I have to dust off some of my old interrogation techniques to find out what has you so nervous and skittish tonight? You’ve got the look of someone who wants to talk to me about something, so just spit out, son.”
“I want to marry Stiles,” Jackson blurts out, eyes widening and warmth spreading over his cheeks as he realizes what he’s just said. Oh fuck. He looks towards the kitchen, panicked for a moment, only relaxing minutely when he hears Stiles singing off-key to some Taylor Swift that Jackson’s totally teasing him about actually knowing later on. Stiles didn’t hear him, obviously, but he still has to make sure. Looking back at John, he sees that he’s leaning back in his chair and actually looks surprised.
“Well, I figured that might be something you two eventually did,” John admits, talking slowly and thoughtfully. “So have you already asked him or do you just plan to in the future? I have to tell you, I’m glad you waited until you both finished college and got your careers started, Jackson. Marriage is a serious step in any relationship, and it can complicate things no matter how strong a foundation there is prior to making it official. I’m not sure you boys could have handled the stress of college and marriage mixed with all the supernatural crap all at the same time.”
“I haven’t asked him yet,” Jackson says quietly. “I’ve wanted to for a while, I know he’s the person who completes me and that I want to spend my life with, but I wasn’t going to ask until he was done with the academy and I had my masters.” Since he’d done a dual program for accounting, he’d had it in five years, which worked out well since Stiles completed his degree and got through the academy in the same amount of time. Looking at John, he shifts on the sofa again and drums his fingers against his thigh. “I wasn’t sure if I should ask for your permission or not. Some people seem really focused on the old-fashioned aspects, and I wasn’t sure if you’d want that or not. If you’d be upset if I didn’t.”
“My permission?” John arches a brow before he huffs a laugh. “Jackson, Stiles would kill us both if we ever acted like he was a possession or that I had that type of authority over him. I know it’s the way things used to be done in the past, but my son makes his own choices when it comes to his love life.” He studies Jackson a moment before he adds, “However, I will say that I don’t think you’ve got anything to be nervous about because my boy’s head over heels for you.”
“If you didn’t approve, it wouldn’t matter how Stiles felt. He’d never choose anyone over you, not even me,” Jackson whispers, slightly ashamed at the break he hears in his voice because he really doesn’t want John to know how scared he really gets thinking about Stiles waking up one day and realizing he can do so much better than Jackson. “I wasn’t sure if you felt I was good enough for him or if you’d be opposed to us getting married.”
“My son’s been through hell a few times during his twenty-four years on this planet. He’s died more than once, and I thought I’d lost him forever.” John stops and takes a moment to collect himself before he continues. “I’ve never seen him as settled and happy as he’s been since you two started dating. I love him more than anything in the world, but he can be a sarcastic ass who is more than a handful, and you have the ability to not only accept that but also give it back in a way that delights him. Besides that, you look at him like he’s the sun, moon, and stars all rolled into one, so what more could a father ever want for their child than to have someone look at them that way? You make him happy, Jackson, and that’s all I care about: him being happy.”
“He’s everything to me,” Jackson says quietly, not even a whisper, feeling his eyes stinging as he blinks rapidly. Fuck. He’s getting emotional, and he still isn’t very good at handling that type of thing, especially when it’s emotions that make him feel vulnerable. Anger, frustration, and insecurity are old friends, but other emotions are newer, not so familiar, and it’s hard to deal with them sometimes.
John leans over and squeezes Jackson’s knee, staring at him intently. “You’re more than good enough, son.”
That’s the first time Jackson’s ever heard those words, and they hit him like a punch to the gut. He’s blinking away tears now, body trembling just a little, and he can’t believe John actually meant them, but he can hear the sincerity in his voice. Knows it’s true. He thinks Jackson’s good enough for Stiles, and he hasn’t realized how much he needs to hear that because the doubts in the dark corners of his mind will still feed his insecurity sometimes no matter how happy he feels with Stiles. It’s hard to accept that Stiles is going to be content with him and feel like Jackson’s enough for him, but he tries because he knows in his heart it’s true. It’s his head that gets fucked up sometimes.
“I don’t deserve him,” he whispers, knowing it isn’t a lie. He hasn’t been a great person, years spent trying to be the best and stepping on anyone in his way, bullying Stiles and others, though it’s always been more personal with Stiles, and that doesn’t even include the whole Kanima murdering spree that his therapy has managed to make him not accept total guilt for, though there’s always going to be some guilt.
“Yes, you do,” John tells him firmly. He forces Jackson to look at him and actually cracks a smile. “Do you remember when you two used to be friends when you were little kids? You’d come over after school when your parents were working, and Claudia would fill me in on the mischief you both got into during the afternoon. I still remember coming home quite often to stories of you two playing house, Stiles saying he was a cop like his daddy and you saying you wanted to stay home with the babies because you wanted a dozen but refusing to be called the mommy because you were just their other daddy.”
“Oh God.” Jackson is crying now, not even trying to stop as John brings up memories long buried after years of animosity replaced that close friendship that existed from pre-k to second grade. He can remember Stiles’ mom, so warm and always smiling and giving him cherry Kool-Aid because it was his favorite, laughing at them and letting them play in a way his parents never would. He’s remembered Stiles, of course, his first friend, resenting how they drifted apart and blaming Stiles for the argument that led to them becoming enemies instead. So stupid and childish, and he’d still acted on it when he was sixteen, which was ridiculous. The rest of it, though, he hadn’t remembered until John just stirred the old memories. “I’d forgotten about that.”
“If I remember correctly, my son actually proposed to you when you were five by giving you a plastic ring he got at the mini-golf place, so he technically beat you to it by about nineteen years,” John remembers, his smile fond as he looks at Jackson. “However, I’d suggest not going the plastic route this time, though.”
“It had Superman on it.” Jackson wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, glad there’s no mirror around because his eyes are probably red and gross after crying. “I, uh, might still have that somewhere,” he admits, knowing he’d kept it in a small box of random trinkets that mean something to him. He hadn’t thought about why he kept it, but he hadn’t been able to throw it out even after all these years. “No plastic. Nothing too fancy, either, because he’d hate something garish and over the top. Something elegant and simple.”
“If Claudia were still alive, she’d be gloating. She told me way back then that I should keep an eye on you two. It nearly broke her heart when you both went your separate ways in second grade, but she died before the worst of the behavior started,” John murmurs. “I’m glad she didn’t have to be here for that, even if I regret being so far gone in my grief that I couldn’t be there for Stiles properly, either.”
That causes a fresh wave of tears as Jackson remembers being so upset when he found out she was sick but not knowing how to tell Stiles because of the animosity between them then. He also thinks about how horrible he’d acted to Stiles after she died. He’d been lashing out after finding out about his adoption, and Stiles had become an easy target because he’d fight back, both of them channeling their anger and frustration into hating each other. Only it was never really hate. He looks at John, blinking away tears as he tries to get himself under control.
“I do have to say that you two took pulling pigtails to an entirely different level, though,” John says. “Kidnapping and restraining orders are definitely a bit much. Next time, maybe stick with witty banter and snarky insults instead.”
“It wasn’t pigtail pulling,” Jackson mutters, blushing a little bit as he rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. “And I dropped the restraining order when I came back from London.”
Before John can reply, Stiles comes into the room and interrupts them. “Dad, what the fuck did you do?” he demands, crossing the room and sitting beside Jackson. He smells anxious and worried as he wipes a tear off Jackson’s cheekbone. “Whatever he said, don’t listen to him. Oh God. I’ve never seen you cry, Jax. It’s going to be okay. Whatever it is, it’s going to be fine. Don’t leave me. Please don’t break up with me because of my dad.”
“Hey, stop,” Jackson chides softly, leaning in to press his lips against the corner of Stiles’ mouth. “I’m not going anywhere, Stiles. Nothing’s wrong, alright? They aren’t sad tears. Not really. I just…your dad is pretty amazing, and my emotions got the better of me for once. I’m not leaving you, and there’s definitely no breaking up in our future.”
“I’m going to go wash up since the food is ready,” John says, standing up and giving Stiles a look that says he’s not going to forget Stiles’ lack of faith in him but is choosing a different time for payback. He squeezes Jackson’s shoulder and smiles at him. “Good talk, son.”
“Thank you, Sir. John.” Jackson looks at him before focusing back on Stiles. There’s a bit of a weight off his shoulders now, hearing John say he’s good enough and also the memories he’s forgotten over the last, God, nearly twenty years. Stiles doesn’t smell as anxious now. Instead, he looks curious and interested, which means he’s going to be asking questions to try to figure out what Jackson spoke to his dad about. Jackson smiles at him, blinking tears off his lashes as he leans in to press their lips together. When he pulls back, he strokes Stiles’ cheek. “I love you.”
“Okay, so I’m totally going to find out what you two talked about because it made you cry but also sentimental, which means it must have been something serious,” Stiles tells him, grinning at him before rubbing their noses together. “I love you, too, of course. So, uh, what did he say?”
“Wow. You’re not even trying to be subtle or sneaky this time.” Jackson has to laugh. “It was private, so you don’t need to know.” Stiles scoffs at the idea he doesn’t need to know something, and Jackson says, “Fine. He was just reminding me of when we used to be friends, before we had some stupid disagreement that we were too stubborn to apologize for. He was remembering something about us playing house and me refusing to be the mommy because I was just another daddy instead.”
Stiles looks confused for a minute before he suddenly grins. “Oh my God. I remember that now. You’d wear my mom’s apron sometimes and insist on cooking because you figured I’d blow the oven up if I tried. Pretty funny considering who destroyed our microwave versus who cooks most of our meals.”
“It’s not my fault I didn’t realize that bowl wasn’t microwavable,” Jackson mutters, relieved that Stiles seems to be on a nostalgic trip now instead of pestering him for more specific details of what he and John discussed. He lets Stiles ramble about silly memories of their childhood before their friendship ended, listening about blanket forts and comic books while he thinks over the conversation he had with John.
There are still some doubts in his mind, but insecurities are just part of who he is, so he can work through them. Knowing that John not only approves but thinks he’s good for Stiles has given him some confidence he didn’t realize he needed. Sometime in the upcoming few weeks, he’s going to get the ring out that he bought months ago, and he’s going to arrange a setting so romantic that Stiles will make cynical comments about it while also loving it, and he’s going to ask this man to be his for the rest of their lives. And if—no, when—Stiles says yes, Jackson will be able to marry the man whose ring he accepted back when he was five years old.
Coming full circle, in a way, only minus the dozens of kids because what the fuck had he ever been thinking wanting that many kids? Neither of them are all that fond of children now, though they’ve casually discussed adoption and surrogacy in a general sense. Maybe one day, they can have two or three, but definitely not a dozen. That’s something that changed since childhood, even if his feelings for Stiles are still there, just a lot more grown up and serious now. Stiles trails off from where he’s been talking about pranks they performed on their first grade teacher and arches a brow, obviously realizing Jackson’s not giving him his full attention.
Before he can point that out, Jackson leans forward to kiss him, knowing it’s the most effective, and enjoyable, way to stop Stiles from talking. He hears footsteps on the stairs as Stiles returns his kiss, which means John’s almost back, so dinner will be happening soon. Jackson moves his arms around Stiles, holding him close as he buries his face against his neck and just breathes in his scent. Stiles strokes his hair in that soothing way that makes Jackson relax and snuggle closer.
Jackson hears John enter the room before he clears his throat to get their attention. “When you boys stop being all sappy and clingy, what do you say we eat? I’m starving.”
“The food would be way too cold if we wait for us to stop being sappy,” Stiles teases, pulling back from the hug and smiling at Jackson. He wipes his thumbs over Jackson’s cheekbones, possibly wiping away leftover tears. “Jackson might seem like an egotistical asshole, but he’s a huge romantic marshmallow underneath that hard shell.”
“Hmph.” Jackson snorts before standing up, offering his hand to help Stiles off the sofa. “I’m not a marshmallow.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that, son,” John tells him, giving him a rather pointed look before he smiles at Stiles. “So, what are we having for dinner tonight? It smells good.”
Jackson follows them to the dining room, listening to Stiles talk about whole wheat pasta and healthy vegetables. He can’t help smiling as he sits down and just watches them interact, feeling so fucking lucky right then to be part of their family. To be wanted and accepted and loved in a way that he’s always feared he’d never experience. And, one day soon, it’s going to be a legal connection. Maybe he’ll even become a Stilinski, since they’ve wanted him as family more than the Whittemores ever really did. Jackson Stilinski doesn’t sound too bad actually. In fact, he could get used to it pretty easily.