Inell's Fanfiction Archive

Willow looked at the door and took a deep breath. Angel Investigations was written in white scrawl, at her eye level. She turned back to face the street. She couldn't do this. He wouldn't want to see her. Hell, all she would do was upset him. Remind him of Sunnydale and Buffy and things he couldn't have. She bit her lip as her mind argued with her heart.

She missed him. She, Willow Rosenberg, had done something rather silly. She had fallen in love with her best friend's ex boyfriend. Actually, at the time, he was still Buffy's boyfriend. She was a bad person. A terrible bad person. She had felt as though part of her was dying when he had left after graduation. What had hurt the most was that he hadn't told her goodbye. Just disappeared after the mayor had been destroyed. Willow had cried for hours knowing that she would never see him again. Now, here she was. Standing on his doorstep with a book that GIles had sent to him. He had told GIles where he was, but not her.

She had gotten to know him much better when he had returned from hell. They had spent hours together just talking. Buffy couldn't be around him without breaking her heart, so Willow had appointed the liason between him and the gang. She had gladly volunteered, not having anything else to do since Oz had left for college soon after Buffy had run away. Of course, it had all backfired on her. She had fallen in love with the dark haired vampire. She was destined to be in unrequited love, she decided. First Xander, which was a mistake and now Angel. Of course, she hadn't seen the vampire in months and she still dreamed of him and thought of him constantly. She was hopeless. She heard a noise and turned around, her eyes widening.

He was still breath taking. A gray sweater, black slacks that fit his lean form just right, his hair was slightly rumpled as though he had just woken up. She fought the urge to brush it away from his face. She gulped as her love hit her full force. Time hadn't done anything except it make it worse. She struggled for a breath, hoping he couldn't see her desire or love. This was bad. So bad. She couldn't do this..be around him and act as though they had just seen each other the day before. He had left her without a goodbye. He didn't even like her enough to say goodbye.

"Willow?" Angel said, staring at her in surprise. He had thought he heard someone outside but when no one knocked, he had imagined he was going crazy. Now, who should stand in front of him, but the girl that had haunted his thoughts for months. Good god, he hoped nothing was wrong back in Sunnydale. He just took a moment to enjoy the sight of her. She was so damn beautiful.

"Angel? Oh..I didn't knock...how did you know I was here? Duh, the vampire hearing thing right? Well, I'm sorry to bother you but I was in LA for a conference at school and Giles asked me to drop this book off for you and I didn't know if you would want to see me or not so I was just going to leave it here but now that you're here, I guess I can give it to you personally and all and I'll be shutting up now." Willow stopped, her face red. Great, Will. Act like an idiot and remind him why he left you...left Sunnydale.

Angel stared at her, not sure if this was just another dream or not. He watched as a breeze ruffled her red hair. She had let it grow to her shoulders since he had last seen her. She looked more mature but still so innocent. So untouched. He had missed her these last months. Of course, he had left because of her...because of his feelings for her. He wanted to touch her before she disappeared.

He smiled, reaching out and hugging her tightly, "I've missed you Willow...so much."

"Angel...breathe..." Willow said, laughing.

Angel grinned sheepishly, "Sorry" he said as he let her go. He kept his hands on her arms, just staring at her.

"What?" she asked, turning red.

"You. Damn, it's been too long." Angel said softly, not wanting to let her go.

Willow's smile left her face, "Yeah..well. Um, I have this book for you. Then I'll go."

"What?" Angel asked, his handsome face falling. "No! You just got here."

"You don't have to do this" Willow said softly.

"Do what?" Angel suddenly realized that they were still in the doorway. "Come in."

Willow started to protest, but he didn't give her a chance. She was pulled into the office as he shut and locked the door. She looked at him and started to speak.

"No. Downstairs. Then we can discuss what's on your mind."

Willow meakly followed him to an elevator. She knew she should just throw the book down and just leave. But, she couldn't. The look in his eyes, that hurtful look. She had caused it. How? Her curiosity was piqued.

Angel stood in the elevator, counting softly. It was the only thing that was keeping him from taking her into his arms and not letting go. He couldn't believe that she was here. So many times he had wished she was with him. Now, she was and he had no idea what to do. He kept running her words through his mind. Why did she think he would want her to leave?

"Here we are" he said softly, opening the elevator door. He ushered into the room, his dark eyes watching her.

Willow looked around, avoiding his gaze. She had done it this time. She should have kept her mouth shut and just left. Now, she had to face him...had to face her feelings for him. The attraction she felt wouldn't leave her mind. She saw the interior of the room and smiled softly. Rather dark but attractive. Exactly like its owner.

"Talk" Angel said, his voice husky in the quiet of the room.

"About what? I can tell you all about everyone..Anya came back and is currently having sex with Xander every way imaginable and some that aren't....Giles is doing fine, though this life of leisure thing seems a bit unemployed like to me..Buffy is dating a real nice guy and is the happiest I've seen her in a long time. Oh damn, I just really said that didn't I?" she drifted off, her voice soft.

"Yes you did. Xander and sex is definitely something I don't want to imagine." He said, his voice rather amused.

Willow looked at him and glared, "You know that isn't what I meant! I didn't plan to mention Buffy..."

"Willow, it's ok. I'm happy for her. She and I were over a long time ago. I'm glad she's found someone..." he watched her face. "You left someone out."

Willow frowned, "Who?"

"You" he said, seeing her face turn red again.

"Oh me. Well, there isn't anything happening with me. I mean, I'm just Willow. Besides, you don't want to talk about me."

Angel looked at her surprised, "Willow, Willow, Willow....You're the only one I do want to hear about."

Willow snorted, "Whatever. Don't lie to me, Angel. I hate liars." She turned around, her back to him as the last bit of her words were spoken.

Angel didn't know what was wrong. He turned her around, his hands on her arms. "Why do you say that? I'm not lying."

Willow felt tears in her eyes, "You didn't say goodbye! You don't care about me...you never did. Damn it, Angel. You never even said goodbye!" She began to cry silently, pulling away from him.

"I" Angel started to speak. He shook his head, and said softly, "I'm sorry. I couldn't."

"I thought we were friends. You told Buffy goodbye, which is fine. She was the love of your life. But...you told Giles good bye. You even wrote him." Willow trailed off knowing she was going to say something she'd regret if she continued.

Angel cursed softly, running a hand through his dark hair. "I couldn't face you..."

"Why?" Willow demanded, having to know.

"Willow...I can't..." Angel looked at her, his dark eyes unreadable.

"It's ok. I guess we weren't as close as I thought" she said, taking a deep breath. "I'd better leave. I have to head back to Sunnydale."

"You're driving?" he asked, concerned.

"Yes. Today was the last day of the conference. I just planned on dropping off the book."

"Do you have to go now?" Angel asked, not wanting to let her leave, yet unable to say the words he knew would convince her to stay.

"Yes....seeing you...it hurts too much" Willow said quietly, looking at her feet.

"Damn it, Willow. I couldn't tell you goodbye!" he said, suddenly angry at himself and the situation he was in.

"Why not?" she screamed back at him. She was tempted to just walk past him and leave.

"Because...I was leaving because of you!" he said, his face broken.

"Because of me?" she said softly, knowing her heart was breaking. She stood up and moved to pass him, "I'll leave. Don't worry. I won't be back. You won't have to deal with me again."

"I loved you....love you" Angel said, looking everywhere but at her. He couldn't see the disgust in her eyes. Not in Willow's eyes.

"What?" she stopped, her eyes widening.

Angel looked at her, his eyes looking into her soul, "I love you. Have since I got back. I love you more than I ever loved Buffy...I want you so badly."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, not knowing if she could believe him. His eyes were sincere.

"Think about it Willow. You deserve so much more than me. I'm a killer...I almost killed you. I had to leave before I did something stupid like I just did."

"It wasn't you. It was Angelus. Why can't you get that into your thick head?" Willow said, angry at him. "What gives you the right? I mean, I should have been given a choice in this."

"I'm sorry" Angel said, not understanding her anger.

"Quit! Quit apologizing! Damn it, I LOVE you! What gave you the power to decide my future for me?"

Angel stared at her, "You love me?"

"Yes, you stupid vampire. I love you!" Willow said, glaring at him.

Angel slowly smiled, "You love me."

"Duh, I think we covered that." Willow said, smiling slightly. What had just happened? She was confused. So much had been said.

"You love me!" he said again, taking her into his arms. "You don't know how happy that makes me."

"Happy? Good thing that soul securing thing worked huh?" Willow said, grinning at the happiness in his eyes. Stupid vampire. They could have had this months ago if he hadn't run away.

Angel laughed as he kissed her, finally. A feeling of electricity went through him as his lips touched hers. She moaned softly as she leaned into him. She knew this was wrong. Emotions were high. Too high. She almost wondered if it was a mistake. She felt his tongue trace her lips and opened her mouth to allow him access. She felt his erection against her stomach and was amazed. That was for her. Just from a kiss. He had told her the truth. He did love her...did want her.

Willow pulled away from Angel, her eyes watching him. "I don't know if we should be doing this..."

Angel sighed, "I know. But, I've been waiting for so long...."

Willow snorted, "You? I've been waiting longer than you...It's just this, this seems rather rushed. I don't know....There is nothing I want more than to make love to you, but I don't want regrets from either of us."

"I'd never have any regrets, but I won't push it. Will you stay the night here? I can sleep on the couch..."

Willow wavered, giving in finally to the begging in his eyes, "Yes. I'd love to spend some time with you, my Angel."

Angel smiled, "Thank you. I'll go get your bag. Where are you keys?"

Willow had to laugh at his joy. "Here they are."

She watched him leave, shaking her head. She couldn't believe she was staying with him. She took a deep breath as she began to investigate the house. She looked in his bedroom, glancing behind her. He wasn't back yet. She moved into the room, smelling the scent that was Angel. She smiled softly as she saw several pictures of her and the gang on his dresser. She'd have to tease him about having a photo of Xander up. She noticed that he had somehow aquired several of just her. She had to wonder where he had gotten them. She moved to the bed, sitting down. She laid back, the pillow behind her. She smelled him even more as she laid there. She knew then that she would leave in the morning without her virginity.

She couldn't lose this chance. If she left, without being with him, and never had another opportunity, she'd regret that much more than actually following through with her feelings that night. She closed her eyes, smiling slightly. She stood, knowing he would be gone a few more minutes at least. She began to unbutton her shirt. She would wait for him in bed. Maybe he wouldn't turn her down if she was already nude and wet. She knew that wouldn't be a problem. Not at all. Her entire body was tense with need. She folded her shirt and slipped her jeans off. She glanced down. Maybe she'd keep her underwear on, just in case.

Angel stood by the elevator. He took a few calming, unnecessary breaths. He willed his erection to go away. All he could imagine was his Willow in his bed without him. He wanted her so badly. This would be a true test of wills for him. It would be so easy to go downstairs and seduce her. He knew she wanted him. It would take so little effort but he didn't want her that way. No regrets. Finally, he stepped into the elevator. He didn't want to waste any time that they had together. There was so little time left, it seemed. So much already wasted. He hit the button and headed downstairs. Down to his Willow.

***********

"Willow?" Angel called out, wondering where she was. He saw the light in his bedroom on and knew she must be seeing where she would sleep. He smiled and went into to see her. He froze, the suitcase falling to the floor. She was lounging on his bed, nude. Her body was perfect. He looked into her eyes and saw the love shining there.

"Angel, make this a night to remember...please?"

Angel hurriedly stripped, needing to be beside her. He saw her eyes widen as his hard cock came into view. He smiled at her, a small reassuring smile. She smiled back, her need overcoming her fear. "I love you Willow. Are you sure?"

"Quit talking. Just make love to me" she said, reaching for him.

Angel moved to the bed, sitting down beside her. His lips found hers, their tongues meeting. His hands found her breasts, his mouth capturing her moan. He smiled as he pushed her back to his bed, his hands roaming over her body.

***************

"Thank you" Willow said softly, her fingers drawing circles on his chest.

He looked at her, capturing her hand with his. "For what?"

"For loving me" she said simply.

He laughed, "I think I should be the one giving thanks. I don't know how I could get so lucky. I don't want you to leave."

Willow looked at him, "I have to. School and Buffy. You could visit."

He shook his head, "I can't go back. I'm sorry. You could come here."

"No. I have classes until Friday afternoon and an early class on Monday. I wouldn't have but a day and a half at the most. Why can't you go back? It can't be Buffy."

"Will, I can't face them all. So much happened...."

Willow sat up, the sheet falling from her breasts. "Oh, so you love me but you won't even get over your guilt long enough to visit me? It's not like I'm asking you to move back."

"I can't. I'm not asking you to move here!" he said, "You could still come visit every weekend."

"No. I am not going to do that. I'd never be home. I'd never see Buffy or the others." she pointed out.

"I guess this is it then" he said, looking away from her.

Willow got up and hurriedly dressed. "Thanks Angel...it was definitely a night I won't forget anytime soon. I enjoyed it. I still love you. Always will."

Angel looked at the floor, hoping that she'd turn around and come back. He heard the elevator start and knew she wasn't. He closed his eyes, his heart breaking. He couldn't go back to Sunnydale. He was over Buffy, but he knew how awkward it would be for her...for all of them. Willow would hate having him visit after awhile. He stood, going to take a shower. As Willow had said, it had definitely been a night to remember. He leaned his head against the shower, red tears falling down his face.

Willow put her head on the steering wheel, wiping her eyes. Damn stubborn vampire. He refused to come back to Sunnydale. She knew he must not be over Buffy. That was the only reason she knew that he wouldn't want to see Sunnydale again. It was always Buffy. She was always second to her friend. She turned the car on, her eyes looking at the door one last time. She had given him enough time to come after her. He wasn't going to. She wiped her tears and drove off, her eyes looking in the rear view window. She watched until Angel Investigations faded into nothing. At least she had her night with him. Maybe that would get her through the lonely days back in Sunnydale.