Teddy looked up from the book he was reading and reached over to turn down the wireless. “Yes?”
When the door opened, he sat up quickly and ran his hand through his hair when he saw that it wasn’t Gram. He didn’t have to look in the mirror to know that his hair was probably changing to a vibrant red at the moment as he gaped at the woman standing in his doorway looking around his room curiously. He cringed when he noticed his pants on the floor, left where he’d taken them off before his shower earlier, and he knew she was probably making a list of everything out of place.
“Good afternoon, Teddy. I hope I’m not disturbing you. If so, I could always come back some other time.”
“No! I mean, you’re not, uh, disturbing me. I’m just reading,” he said proudly, showing off the book because he knew she’d appreciate that and possibly forgive him the mess on the floor. “How are you today, Mrs. Weasley?”
“I’m doing well. Are you enjoying your summer?“ She glanced at his book and smiled. “Hortinz Magical Theory? I remember reading that one, myself. What do you think of it so far?”
“It’s brilliant, and it’s not a lot of fancy words that aren’t needed just to sound pompous. I like that,” he told her, watching her curiously. Hermione Weasley had never been in his room before, and he wasn’t really sure why she was there now. Well, she had been in some of his fantasies, the dirtier ones that had started a couple of years ago, but not in real living and breathing person. Of course, if she started to call him a very bad boy and say he needed a spanking while unbuttoning her shirt, he’d know he was dreaming again.
“Yes, the fancy words can occasionally be unnecessary,” she agreed, which made him grin because he’d been right about something. She didn’t agree with just anyone, which meant he had a reason to be smug.
“Did you want to sit?” he asked, blushing as he realized he’d just asked her to sit on his bed. He stood up and hurried over to his desk chair so he could move everything out of it for her to sit down. “Sorry. I’ve been so caught up in reading my great book that I haven’t cleaned today.”
When he looked at her, he saw her glance down and smile, like she did whenever her kids did something silly. He didn’t like her using that smile with him. He was fifteen, after all, and he really hated that she might consider him like one of her kids.
“Your grandmother mentioned how busy you’ve been, meeting your friends in Diagon Alley and working in the garden. And reading, of course,” she said, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear in that way that made him feel all strange. He always wondered why her husband didn’t do that for her, because he definitely would if he were lucky enough to be married to her. Weasley wasn’t here now, though, but he couldn’t go touch her. She’d hex him and call him filthy names if she had any idea what he thought about whenever she was around.
“I like gardens.” He cringed and shifted awkwardly, wondering if he could sound any less suave and charming. Thank God none of his mates were around to hear how pathetic he was around an attractive older woman. It was bad enough when they teased him for flirting with Victoire, and she was younger than him.
“So do I. I can’t keep anything alive, of course, but I do like sitting outside and relaxing.” She looked around and bit her lip, which wasn’t good at all because it made him stare at her mouth and think about it doing things. She looked uncomfortable all of a sudden, and he heard her mutter under her breath as she looked anywhere but at him. “I can’t believe Andromeda hasn’t done this yet. And Harry! God, what sort of Godfather is too scared to have this kind of talk with a young man. Fifteen is just much too old for this. I should have been brought in two years ago, at least.”
“Uh, are you okay?” he asked, slightly concerned that she was talking to herself and even more so when he realized she was talking about having some kind of talk with him. What had he done wrong? Gram was never afraid of speaking her mind, and Harry wasn’t scared of anything.
“Yes. Sorry. I’m here for a reason, Teddy. Your grandmother and Harry asked me for to come speak with you about something very important,” she said, smiling as she turned and reached down for a bag she’d left in the hall. “Shall we do this here or downstairs? I want you to be comfortable.”
He gasped and started to cough to cover, knowing he must look ridiculous with his bright red cheeks and hair. “Uh, here is good,” he stammered, staring at her as he waited to see if she started to undress, since he was no longer sure if he’d fallen asleep or not.
“That’s fine. It’s probably better, since we’ll have more privacy,” she said, sounding like she was talking to herself almost as she entered his room. She walked to the desk chair, stepping over his underpants and around his trainers, and sat down. “I’ve never done this before, but it seems relatively easy. Besides, I figure I should get the practice for when Hugo’s older. You really should have received this talk a couple of years ago, according to the textbooks, but your grandmother had no idea how to approach and it seems that your godfather is a coward when it comes to talking about sex.”
“Sex?” he squeaked as he gaped at her and sat down, missing the bed and falling on the floor. He groaned and covered his face with his hands, relieved that she wasn‘t laughing at him.
“Are you okay, Teddy?”
“Missed the bed.” He smiled sheepishly up at her and then spread his legs out in front of her. “Guess this is as good a place as any to sit." He hesitated a moment before he nervously said, "Mrs. Weasley, you don’t have to give me, uh, this sort of talk. I’m fifteen, you know?”
“Hmph. Whatever your classmates have told you about sex is most likely inaccurate and lacking complete information,” she said in a matter-of-tone that reminded him of Professor McGonagall. That certainly helped him stop thinking about sex. Briefly. “I assume they said that it’s perfectly natural to have sex with anyone you fancy?”
“Um, well, kind of.”
“See? That’s not true at all. Well, it is if you want making love to be meaningless, but for it to really matter, you should care about the person you choose to be share yourself with. Casual sex, while not necessarily wrong in all circumstances, also isn't always right. If you approach a girl that you like with an attitude that it's acceptable to be with anyone you happen to fancy at any given time, then you might risk losing someone who could be very important to you. Sex is about sharing, and it’s far more than just physical release.”
“How is it more than physical?” he asked before he could stop himself.
“It’s also emotional, Teddy. Without emotion, it doesn’t really mean anything at all.”
“Emotional?” He made a face and wondered if Harry would say the same thing or if that just a girly attitude.
“Trust me. If you want it to matter, be selective and make sure you care about the girl you’re with,” she said simply. “Now, I’ve made a list of everything that the books say is important to learn, as well as an agenda of key items. We’ll begin with the reproduction process before we move into contraception and we’ll end with a discussion on relationships. Though, really, I jumped ahead a bit by starting with the latter. Oh well, consider it a sneak preview of that agenda item.”
“You’re written an agenda?” he asked, blinking at her as he ran his hand through his hair and wondered if she’d actually spent time studying sex while thinking about him. Well, not in the way he wanted, but, God, that was still really amazing to consider.
“Yes, of course. How can we cover everything necessary if we don’t have a plan? Anyway, I’m going to teach you the basic charms and types of potions that might come in handy when you’re ready for intercourse, but I’ll also show you a simple Muggle method of protection as well. I’m not foolish enough to think that a teenage boy will remember a charm while caught up in an, uh, amorous mood, so the Muggle contraception might be easier during heated moments.”
Amorous mood? Teddy stared at her as she began to talk, shifting when she said words like penis and vagina and showed him pictures that made sex very unappealing. Still, hearing her say those words was unbelievable, and she looked pretty with her cheeks flushed and her hair escaping from her plait.
Midway through the talk, he reached for his pillow and pulled his legs up, covering his erection as she continued lecturing him about sex. He wasn’t really listening too much, but he’d go buy a book and study it later just in case she asked him a question he should know the answer to. Of course, judging by how much she was blushing and how she shifted awkwardly a few times after a particularly embarrassing bit, he doubted she’d mention this again. Ever.
How had Harry thought this was a good idea? Even if Teddy was very good at hiding his crushes, Harry was a man, so he had to realize having a hot older woman talking about sex for hours was just not the best way for him to learn. Not even Harry could be that clueless. He’d been fifteen once, after all, and had to know how easy it was to get hard at just about anything.
By the time she showed him a condom and began to instruct him how to use by wielding a banana that made him feel rather inferior in width, he was ready to kill Harry next time he saw him. He could forgive Gram, because she didn’t know any better, but Harry was going to get hexed next time Teddy visited him. When he didn’t think it could get any worse, she handed him a tiny packet and that bloody banana and looked at him expectantly.
He ripped the first condom he tried and the second snapped when he tried to force it onto the banana. She tsked under breath and leaned down, giving him an amazing view down her blouse as she patiently showed him how to open the package and unroll the condom. Instead of looking at her tits, too much, he tried to listen and managed to put the condom on the banana. She smiled, and he grinned, taking one last look down her blouse before she straightened back up and continued her lecture.
Finally, she finished. She shut the book and put away her things before she looked at him. “Did you have any questions?”
“No,” he said quickly, moving the pillow on his lap as he shook his head. “You’re brilliant, Mrs. Weasley. You covered everything very thoroughly.”
“Really? Oh, good,” she sounded relieved. “I was nervous, but you were lovely, Teddy. Most boys your age would have been snickering or behaving rudely, I’ve no doubt. If you have any other questions in the future, I’d suggest asking Harry because this is the extent of my knowledge for general sexual education.”
“Oh, I’ll ask Harry and not one of the lads from school,” he promised, imagining how his mates would react if they knew he’d received this sort of talk at his age. While he wasn’t the most smooth bloke in the world, he was quite a charmer when he wanted to be, and they all probably thought he’d been on the pull for years.
“That’s a wise idea. The boys at your school don’t know half what they probably think they do,” she said. She stood up and smiled down at him. “Well, I’d better go now. That took longer than expected, but I hope it helped. Enjoy the rest of your book, Teddy. It’s really quite interesting. I’ll see myself out.”
“Thanks again, Mrs. Weasley. That was, uh, very informative. I’ll Floo over next weekend to help you with your garden, if you’d like. To repay you for this lesson,” he offered, knowing it wasn’t simply an excuse to ogle her in a sundress or those Muggle shorts that showed off her legs. Well, not completely.
“You don’t have to do that, but you’re always welcome to visit,” she told him. “We’re usually home on weekends since we both work so much during the week and don’t have near as much time with the children as we’d like. I certainly don’t mind a helper with the gardening, though, if you find yourself that bored. Take care, Teddy.”
He watched her leave, rolling his head back against the bed so he could stare at her arse. After she was gone, he stood up and rushed over to shut the door, locking it behind him before he unfastened his trousers and fell on the bed. He closed his eyes and thought about her lecture as he moved his hand fast, not lasting long at all. After he caught his breath and wiped his hand off, he picked up the quill that was lying on his bedside table and searched for a clean sheet of parchment.
Mrs. Weasley stopped by today for my sexual education lesson. Thank you for giving me wanking material for the next decade.
Your Loving Godson,
He read the note over and laughed before he ripped it up and tossed the pieces in the bin. Lying back on his bed, he looked at the ceiling and just grinned for a moment before he reached for his book and turned the volume of the wireless back up.