“Remind me to never ever trust Aly when she flashes the dimples and asks for a favor.”
“I’ve tried reminding you of that several times in recent months, but you always tell me to stop being so negative before warning me that Allison is one half of your poly platonic life partnership, so I need to be nice.”
“See, that right there? That’s what keeps preventing you from being an amazing husband, Derek.” Stiles waggles a finger at Derek and tries not to grin. “If you’d stop with the ridiculously good memory that you seem to only have whenever it’s used for repeating random conversations we’ve had that can now be used against me, you might transition from good to amazing.”
“Good?” Derek snorts before he smiles smugly. “Last night, I remember you telling me that I’m the best husband ever. Screaming it, in fact. Multiple times.”
“Shh! Not in front of the baby! No sexy time talk around the infant.” Stiles puts his hands over Luke’s ears, getting slobber all over his forearm as Luke babbles and gurgles at him. “God, babies are so gross. You know, I don’t remember Tori being this disgusting as a baby.”
“Tori is a perfect little girl, a true princess amongst mortals,” Derek says fondly, his favoritism so obvious that Stiles totally judges him silently. Derek just ignores him, of course. “Whereas your namesake is a tiny terror already. It’s little wonder he’s slobbery and gross.”
“He’s only three months old. That’s too young to call a terror. Wait until he’s two, at least, or you’ll give him a complex.” Stiles looks at Luke and makes funny faces. “Isn’t that right, precious boy? You’ll need so much therapy because Uncle Derek is a meanie who plays favorites.”
“Ha! I play favorites? That demon spawn you’re babbling at has his favorites,” Derek points out, walking over to Stiles. Almost immediately, Luke starts crying and fussing. “See? He hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.” Stiles is totally lying because Luke does seem to have an intense dislike for Derek sometimes. It’s funny, in a way, mostly because it makes Derek pout, and he’s ridiculously adorable when he’s pouting. “It’s the judgmental eyebrows. They must scare him.”
“No, I actually think it’s you. You’re a bad influence. Whenever you aren’t around doting on him, he seems to like me just fine.” Derek huffs. “He probably senses how happy you get about the fact he prefers you to me when we’re together.”
“That’s a smart little boy. Making Uncle Stiles happy is the right thing to do,” Stiles says, picking Luke up and carrying him around until he stops crying. “It might be the werewolf thing, too. You tend to get all possessive alpha when you’re with me.”
“I do not.” Derek rolls his eyes when Stiles looks at him pointedly. “Fine. It could be that, but I don’t know. We should ask my mom since she’d definitely know more about werewolf babies than I do, considering I know nothing about them.”
“You’d better learn about them in case Erica and Boyd actually do get pregnant in the near future.” Stiles looks at Derek curiously. “So would they be likely to have a wolfy kid if they’re both bitten? I mean, Tori doesn’t seem to be wolfy, but Luke’s already showing signs of it, and Scott’s bitten.”
“I’ve never studied the biology behind it.” Derek shrugs. “I’d say there’s a good chance, though, because there are born wolves from bitten parents. Case in point is Luke, obviously.” He smiles slightly. “It’d be nice if Erica and Boyd have a born wolf, since it’ll make for a stronger pack, but a baby is a baby. They’ll be well loved whether they’re human or wolf.”
“See, Luke?” Stiles whispers against Luke’s fat head. “Uncle Derek might have scary eyebrows, but he’s just a big old softie. He’s the sappy uncle, for sure.”
Luke doesn’t seem very impressed. He slaps Stiles’ chin with a drooly hand, which makes him wince. So gross. Derek laughs. “Want me to take him so you can clean up?”
“What? Drool and formula don’t make an attractive combination?” Stiles poses before preening. “You know you want me, babe.”
“We’ve already established that I’m crazy, though, so I’m not sure that’s worth bragging about,” Derek points out. He takes Luke from Stiles, and they both hold their breath for a moment, not releasing it until Luke actually settles against Derek’s chest and pats his shirt with a wet hand.
“You look good holding a baby,” Stiles murmurs, enjoying the visual for a moment. “Not that I’m ready to talk to Laura about her offer. Not for another couple of years, at least. But, yeah, if I had ovaries, they’d be exploding right now. Big muscular man like you holding a tiny baby is just killer.”
“Go shower. You smell like baby formula and other scents that aren’t pleasant,” Derek mutters, his ears turning red as Stiles stares at him. He looks up at Stiles and smiles slightly. “Seriously, stop leering and go clean up.”
“The unpleasant scent is probably from where Luke burped. I forgot the blanket thing,” Stiles admits. “Anyway, you like it when I leer at you, husband.” Stiles laughs as he leans up to kiss Derek’s jaw, nuzzling his beard for a moment until Luke babbles and hits Stiles’ neck. “So disgusting.”
Derek snorts. “Luke and I will bond while you’re getting cleaned up. Change your shirt, too, alright? It definitely smells rank.”
“Maybe I won’t even bother with a shirt. That way, I don’t have a pile of laundry to do when Allison picks up my godson,” Stiles muses, waggling his eyebrows at Derek before he heads upstairs. He takes a quick shower and puts on one of Derek’s shirts, an old Henley that’s been washed so many times it’s almost gray instead of blue now.
When he goes back downstairs, it’s quiet. Unusually quiet. Stiles grins when he sees Derek lying on the sofa with Luke on his chest. They’re both sleeping. Luke’s blowing bubbles in his sleep, drooling on Derek’s shirt, and Derek’s breathing deeply, not snoring but still making a soft noise. Almost a rumble. It’s pretty precious, and Stiles almost gets his phone out to record it for posterity. However, there’ll be plenty of opportunities for that when they eventually have their own kids.
Instead, he quietly walks over to the sofa. Stiles kneels down beside the sofa, just looking at Derek holding Luke, fully aware that there’s a huge dopey smile on his face and not caring because no one is awake to see it anyway. Leaning forward, he gently presses his lips against Derek’s forehead then his eyelid. Derek’s eyes flutter slightly but don’t open, so Stiles leans further to kiss his other eyelid. It takes another couple of light kisses before Derek’s eyes open and he blinks up at Stiles.
“Didn’t realize I’d get a chance to wake sleeping beauty after my shower,” Stiles teases softly, not wanting to wake up the tiny terror anytime soon. Allison and Scott should be over soon to pick him up, since they were taking Tori to a doctor’s appointment followed by a special no baby treat because they don’t want her to start resenting Luke. Stiles approves of that, knowing he’ll totally steal it when he and Derek have kids of their own.
“So are you suggesting that Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty end up together?” Derek asks, reaching up to stroke his thumb over Stiles’ jaw. “Or is it that we’re both princesses?”
“Way to take a romantic comment and overanalyze it, babe.” Stiles kisses Derek’s palm. “Maybe I’m suggesting that you’re a beauty? Since, you know, it’s totally true.”
“You’re a dork.” Derek shifts on the sofa, careful not to disturb Luke, and he pats the open space with his free hand. “It’s been a long day, so you deserve a rest, too.”
Stiles loves their new sofa, perfect for two grown men snuggling. He moves onto the sofa, wiggling around until he’s comfortable, cuddling up against Derek. “We’ve got time for a nap. Maybe He Who Must Not Be Named will keep sleeping until his parents come pick him up.”
“Scott and Allison would glare a lot if they had any idea you call their son that,” Derek murmurs, nuzzling Stiles’ neck. “However, considering the fact he’s demon spawn, it’s actually an appropriate name, so I won’t tell them about it.”
“Eh, they know how risky it is to say his name when he’s asleep, so they’d totally understand,” Stiles says, smiling as he watches Luke blow spit bubbles in his sleep. “But I’m glad you won’t tell them, just in case Aly decided to go all Gryffindor on my ass.”
“Would you say that my protecting your ass would make me an amazing husband?” Derek rubs Stiles’ back and is totally smirking when Stiles glances up at his smugly handsome face.
“Nope, because it’s more selfish than selfless. You like my ass, after all, and wouldn’t want Allison hurting it.” Stiles grins when Derek huffs a laugh. “You’re pretty amazing most of the time, Der, but there has to be room for improvement because it’s only been a couple of months of wedded bliss so far. We don’t need you getting too arrogant.”
“Oh, of course not. I have to remain humble,” Derek deadpans, brushing a gentle kiss against Stiles’ eyelid and brow. “You’re not so bad yourself, you know?”
Stiles pats Derek’s chest before settling down for a nap. “I know. I’m totally awesome.”