Bill lives in a small flat off Diagon Alley. The flat is all he can afford while he’s training at Gringotts, so it’s super tiny and not in the best shape, but Tonks envies him having the resources to be out on his own. She’s been out of school for six months, yet she’s still living at home with her parents, where her father questions her every single morning when she’s not been home and her mum gives her pamphlets about birth control from the healer’s office while somehow managing to look disapproving even while encouraging her to enjoy her youth. Having her mum tell her to have fun shagging sexy blokes is just too disturbing for words, even if she prefers that acceptance to being treated like she’s a kid.
She loves her parents, but she can’t wait until she can afford a place of her own. It might not be much longer, either, which is why she’s dropping by Bill’s flat unannounced. She’s got good news, and he’s the first non-family person that she wants to share it with. She’ll write Charlie later, but she’s still angry with him for running off to bloody Romania to play with dragons without even considering that she might like having her best friend around. He’s the only person who knows that she’s dating Bill, too, which means she has no one to rant to whenever Bill does something stupid.
After walking up three flights of stairs, she finally reaches Bill’s flat. He isn’t expecting her, but she doesn’t really care. They’re not very formal when it comes to things like that. She knocks and waits, knowing that he should be home from work by now. Finally, he answers the door, and she grins as she pounces on him.
“Merlin, woman. You nearly knocked me over,” he mutters as he grips her bum and shoves her against the wall.
“I knew you’d catch me.” She grins before she kisses him. “I’ve got news.”
“So do I.” He kisses her before she can ask any questions. When he pulls back, he grips her bum and gives her that sexy leer that makes her wish she wasn’t wearing knickers that now need to be taken off. “Talk after.”
“Mmm. Sounds good.” She moves her fingers into his hair and bites his lip. “You better get your hair cut soon or your mum’s going to take scissors to you.”
“I’ve got my hand on your arse and you’re talking about my hair?” He squeezes her arse. “Dora, I don’t want to think about my mum right now.”
“Don’t call me that, Billy,” she says. “Take me to bed and make me forget how to talk.”
Sex with Bill is amazing. There’s probably a better word, but vocabulary has never been one of her strengths, so it’s good enough. Besides, she can’t think when he’s finished with her, and she can only hope that she has the same effect on him. Her body is sweaty and sore, and his room is a mess. Clothes are thrown everywhere, his sheets are hanging off the bed, and she thinks she broke his lamp, again, when she kicked it while he was using his tongue to make her beg.
“I love shagging you,” she tells him as she stretches and moves her fingers over the new bite on her hip.
“You can still talk,” he points out as he squeezes her breast. “Since I refuse to accept failure, I’ll have to try again. In a few minutes.”
“You’re too much of a perfectionist. Not that I mind when it comes to this, but, yeah. You need to learn how to make mistakes,” she informs him. “Fortunately, I’m an expert when it comes to messes and chaos, so you’re in good hands.”
He snorts. “Maybe you need to learn how to appreciate success and order. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best at everything you do.”
“Never said there’s anything wrong with it. Just think there’s more in life than being good at everything.” She nudges his ribs with her elbow and smiles. She’s only teasing him, mostly, so she doesn’t want him to get uptight and snippy. “Oh! My news. You had some, too, right?”
“Yeah. I think I’m hungry. I’ll go make something to eat,” he says, looking for a moment as if he’d rather be anywhere but where he is.
“Wait a minute.” She moves quickly and straddles him, pressing him back against the mattress before he can leave. “You’re acting weird. What’s your news?”
“Being hungry is weird? Really, Dora, I think the sex has messed up your brain,” he mutters without actually answering her question.
“Fuck off, Weasley. Tell me your news or I’ll do something drastic and potentially dangerous to your mental well-being,” she threatens, fully prepared to transform into Molly Weasley if that’s what it takes for him to talk. She did once before when he was being an arse, and it now serves as a warning for him to not fuck around with her.
“Not even you would change into my mum while you’re naked,” he says, not sounding very confident at all. She smirks slightly and lets her hair change from a vibrant violet to an all too familiar shade of red. He closes his eyes and frowns. “I’m going to Egypt next week.”
Her smile fades as she blinks down at him. “What? For like a holiday? You didn’t tell me you had plans.”
“No, for like being transferred by my place of employment to one of their foreign offices to complete my training.” He opens his eyes and watches her.
“For how long?” She tries not to sound upset, but fails. They’ve been shagging since Hogwarts, probably before it was even proper since he’s older than her, and they’ve been doing this whole dating-relationship sort of thing since she left school. The idea of him going off isn’t good at all, especially when Charlie’s off with dragons, and she’s here alone.
“Maybe a year. Maybe longer. There are so many cases in that office that need attention, and the challenge is remarkable. Only the best get sent there to work, Dora. When I asked for consideration, I hoped I might get transferred, but I didn’t know if I had enough experience yet. It’s bloody brilliant that I’ve received the offer.”
“You asked to go there? And didn’t tell me?” She scrambles off him and gets to her feet, pacing back and forth as she tries to fight the urge to punch him.
“You need to stop before your head explodes. Your hair is changing colors faster than I can even keep track.”
“You didn’t tell me!” She turns and glares at him. “What kind of relationship do we have when you don’t even mention the possibility that you might be sent to some other country?”
He runs his hand over his face and shrugs a shoulder. “We’ve never had a normal relationship. It’s always been a bit muddled. It’s not like we’re engaged or planned a future or anything.”
“Muddled? Muddled?! I’ve spent years with you, shagged you before I even knew what an orgasm really was, and you call that muddled?” She shakes her head. “Charlie was right. You’re an arsehole. He warned me that you’d end up breaking my heart.”
“Charlie was just jealous that I got into your knickers before he had a chance.” Bill smirks that infuriating ‘besting my brother’ smirk that she’s seen too many times to count since she befriended Charlie during second year.
“Charlie had the chance to get into my knickers before you ever did,” she tells him, taking some satisfaction in obviously surprising him. “He was good with being friends without complicating things.” She picks up her shirt and pulls it over her head, not bothering to try finding her bra. “Not that you care, but I got into Auror training. I start with the class next month. Were you planning to tell me about Egypt or just disappear overnight?”
“You did? Really?” His disbelief infuriates her, and she picks up a pillow and hits him with it.
“Yes, really. My NEWT scores were bloody good, and I passed all their tests. I’ll be an excellent auror,” she informs him sharply before she turns to look for her jeans. She trips over the corner of his bed but manages to catch her balance before she falls.
“I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how. I knew you’d react like, well, like this.” He groans. “Would you stop being so dramatic? You’re only eighteen, and we’ve had fun. I’ll be back eventually, when training is over and I’m finished with the challenges that interest me there.”
“Yeah, well, I won’t be waiting,” she tells him. She finally summons her jeans, watching as they fly out from under his bed. How did they get there? Shaking her head, she looks at him. “You’re right, though. I’m only eighteen. I’ve got to be serious about my training, anyway. Not sneaking around to shag an arsehole who seems to enjoy the sex yet still won’t take me out for a proper meal anywhere.”
“It’s not like that and you know it,” he points out. She doesn’t care to listen, not right now when she’s angry and frustrated and wants to kick something. Hard. He stands up, not bothering to even cover himself, and follows her as she leaves his bedroom. “Dora--Tonks, you can’t leave this way.”
“I can leave any bloody way that I want to.” She glares at him as she struggles to pull her denims on while walking away from him. “We’re over, Bill. You go off to Egypt and live your life. I’m staying here and living mine.”
“You’re being dramatic again. We’re wizards. It’s not like I can’t come back whenever I’ve got time off.”
She looks at him after she fastens her jeans. She didn’t find her knickers, so she’s not wearing anything underneath, which doesn’t feel sexy at all despite her always thinking it would. It’s just a day for disappointments, it seems. “No. I’m not doing that. I’m not going to live for the rare days when you decide that a good shag is worth coming back. I know you, Bill. You’ll get caught up in your training and proving yourself to anyone over there, and you’ll gradually stop coming back, even for the shag. Besides, that’s not the point. You could have told me all along, but you didn’t. That says everything, really.”
“It says that I didn’t want to bring up something that might not even happen.” He scratches his belly and takes a step towards her. “I don’t want this to be how it all ends.”
“What? You expected a nice fuck and goodbye?” She snorts. “Well, we just had the first one, and now it’s time for the second. Goodbye, Bill.”
“Fuck, Dora. That’s not what I said. I don’t want you to storm off angry and hating me. We’re friends, aren’t we? Before anything else?”
“I can’t. Not yet. Give me time, then, sure, we’ll be friends, and this won’t hurt so bloody much. Now, though, it does, and we can’t be.” She runs her fingers through her hair. “I’ll owl you.”
“I didn’t intend to hurt you,” he whispers, and she can tell that he’s being honest. He might be an arsehole, but it’s not intentional. There’s some small comfort in that, though not much.
“I know. Good luck with the pyramids or whatever it is in Egypt that you find so fascinating,” she says before she opens the door and leaves. When she’s some distance from his building, she stops walking so fast and takes several deep breaths. She’s not going to cry. Tears don’t do a bloody damn thing to change anything, just like her mum always says, and they won’t make her feel any better.
When she gets home, she’ll write Charlie. She’ll tell him about the end of her relationship with Bill, so he can worry and fret and make her feel better by caring, and she’ll tell him about auror training and the beginning of the next chapter of her life. If she thinks about it like that, maybe it won’t hurt so much.
End
Endings & Beginnings
Story Notes:
1/3/09