Cordelia had confessed to having feelings for her. She hadn't been very surprised, hearing her friends say the very same thing earlier in the day. But, to hear someone as beautiful as Cordelia admit to being in love with her, well, it had made her do some serious thinking. She knew they had a tough road ahead. The people in school would be shocked if they did start dating. To admit openly to being bi-sexual or, in Delia's case, a lesbian...well, that would shake the walls of Sunnydale High for months.
She wasn't sure if she could deal with it. She knew her friends would accept it as long as she was happy. She honestly didn't care what the other people thought, but she didn't want to spend the remainded of her junior year and her entire senior year branded a lesbian. She washed the soap from her hair and thought longer. That wasn't even it. She was what she was. She wasn't embarrassed about the feelings that Cordelia brought out in her. Not by a long shot. The brunette made her feel loved and cherished. She loved being around the girl, the nights they spent talking and laughing the happiest of her life.
She knew her parents would freak, if they were ever in town long enough to care. She could probably drop out of school, join a commune and become a folk singer and they wouldn't notice it. She wondered what Cordelia's parents would say when they returned from Europe. Willow frowned as she realized that she was scared. She could face the most evil demon around, but she was fearful of the reactions of a bunch of people she didn't even like. How messed up was that?
She stepped from the shower, drying off. She pulled on her fresh clothes and began getting ready for school. She'd have to wake Cordy up soon. She needed to know a definite answer by then. Could she give these feelings for Cordelia a chance and see where they took her? She walked into the girl's room, her eyes softening as she looked at the sleeping girl. She suddenly had to sit down.
Her eyes were wide as she realized what she was thinking of maybe giving up. She wouldn't do it. It was worth it. She didn't care what anyone said except for Cordelia. They could all go to hell for all she cared. She would be happy and Cordelia would be happy. Together, they could make it through it all. She let her eyes drift over Cordelia's face. The reason she had sat down was because she had realized a painful truth. She was in love with Cordelia Chase.
Cordelia finished dressing and looked in the mirror. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She was scared. Not scared of what people said. She didn't give a shit about any of them. After giving up her social act, she had realized just how little their opinions did matter to her. No, she was scared that she might lose Willow. It had taken her such a long time to find the courage to admit to her feelings, now she risked losing the one person she had real feelings for.
She put her make up on, again surprised by how quickly she could do that task now. She hardly wore it anymore. Just a light brushing of powder, lipstick and sometimes some eye shadow. Usually, she preferred just the powder and lipstick. Willow thought she looked better without any of it. She had to smile, thinking of the redhead. So many of the changes she had made lately could be contributed to the girl. All changes that Cordelia had been too scared to make no matter how badly she had wanted to make them. She heard a soft laugh and looked up, catching sight of Willow in the mirror. She turned, smiling. "Hey you."
"Cordy, you look beautiful" Willow said, smiling.
"Thanks." Cordelia said. "You too."
"I uh have to talk to you" Willow said, biting her lip as she turned to walk back into Cordelia's bedroom.
Oh no...Cordelia thought. Her happiness faded as she walked into the bedroom. She sat down, not wanting to hear what she knew the girl was going to say.
"Cordelia...about today." Willow started.
"It's ok" Cordelia said sharply. "I won't even talk to you...."
"What?" Willow asked, "I was going to say that I know we said we'd keep things private...between us until we knew for sure something might happen...but, I realized something today."
Cordelia looked at her, wondering where the redhead was going, "And?"
"I love you..." Willow said, smiling at the look of disbelief and joy that filled Cordelia's dark eyes, "And I don't want it to be a secret! I want everyone to know that we're in love. I don't care what any of them say....."
Cordelia laughed, "Well, maybe not everyone..I mean, I hate those two senior guys that are constantly talking about how gay they are...maybe we can not keep it a secret but not be so outspoken about our gayness."
Willow smiled, "I hate them too. Ok...We won't shout it to everyone. But, I want us to try dating....like a normal couple....kisses and hand holding and hugs....."
"I'd love that." Cordelia said, never being happier than she had been when Willow had said she was in love with her. That was the high light of her life so far. "Smoochies in the hallway...."
Willow laughed, "Yeah...smoochies in the hallway...."
"We'd better go...I do take it you want to let the gang know first..." Cordelia said, standing.
"Yeah. I'd rather them know rather than stumbling across it." Willow said, praying that they would really understand the emotions she was feeling for Cordelia.
"Your chariot awaits, my lady" Cordelia said, taking Willow's hand and walking down the stairs. "You do know that we are going to make several boys happy don't you?"
"What?" Willow asked, laughing at Cordelia's pointed expression as they got into her convertible.
"Three fourths of all male fantasies is to see two girls getting it on. We are very beautiful, if I may speak so modestly. What better place than a hallway to see your fantasy come to life?" she said, laughing at Willow's look.
"Oh my god....yesterday I was worried about getting a date for Friday night and now you're telling me I'm going to be one half of three quarters of the guy's at school male fantasy come to life?"
"You have a date every Friday night now, Wills. And, yes. How does it feel to be a fantasy come to life?" Cordelia asked, her words soft so that Willow understood she was no longer talking about the jerks at school.
"I've never been happier" Willow said, kissing Cordelia softly before they took off towards school.
Willow walked into the library, glad to see Giles, Buffy, Xander and Amy already seated around a table. She felt Cordelia move behind her as the girl gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She was going to do this. She smiled as she walked down the stairs to join the others. "Hey guys."
Buffy glanced up, "Hey Wills. Cordy. Did you figure out the answer to number seven on the homework?"
"It was 1546" Cordelia said, taking a seat. She saw them look at her surprised, "What? Sometimes a photographic memory is a good thing."
"You never fail to surprise me" Xander said, laughing. "Thanks Cor."
Willow glanced at Cordelia and saw the slight panic in the girl's dark eyes. She knew this would be worse than telling the entire school. They didn't care what anyone else thought, but these were their friends. That made if even more difficult. "So, guys. Bronze tonight?"
Buffy nodded, smiling at Willow. "Yep. Angel is even meeting me there."
"Oh, is this week an on again?" Willow asked, laughing.
"For now" Buffy replied. She noticed Cordelia holding Willow's hand and her eyes widened slightly. She glanced into green eyes and saw hesitation. "Will, is there something you want to tell me?"
"Uh..well...actually, yeah" Willow stammered. She took a deep breath, "I know this might be a bit strange for you to deal with, but last night Cordelia and I did some talking."
"What?" Xander asked. "You two finally realize you were in love and have really been dating the last few months?"
"Actually, yes" Cordelia said, surprised at his joking about it.
"That's cool. About time too" Amy said, grinning.
Buffy laughed at their surprised looks. "What? We've known for awhile. Well, we definitely had suspicions that is. Took you two long enough though."
"I must say, you two seem very happy together. That's all that matters to me. Now if you will excuse me" Giles said, smiling his approval.
"You don't care?" Willow asked, wanting to make sure they were fine with it.
"Willow, you're happy. True, Cordelia is not what I had in mind when I told you to start dating, but she's not that bad" Buffy said, her tone teasing.
Cordelia laughed, "Thanks for the compliment, Buffy."
"Hey, May Queen. Not just anyone is good enough for my Wills. But, you two fit somehow. I'm cool with it" Buffy said, smiling at them.
"Thank you" Willow said softly, looking at her friends. "You guys have no idea what this means to me....to us."
Xander smiled, "You two just let me know if you plan to make out in the hallway. I want front row seats...OW" he replied as Amy hit his arm.
Cordelia and Willow exchanged looks, remembering their earlier conversation. They started to laugh, sharing the private joke. The others just smiled as the went back to their homework.
Cordelia smiled as she sat down next to Willow at the lunch table. She could feel the eyes of the students on them but ignored the stares. She had been doing a very good job of that since this morning when she had kissed Willow tenderly outside the redhead's computer class. "Afternoon sunshine."
Willow looked up, smiling at Cordelia. "Hey CC. I didn't hear you come up."
"Lost in thought or have you just forgotten me already?" Cordelia teased.
"I don't plan on forgetting you anytime soon" Willow said, "Just thinking."
"About what?" Cordelia asked, spreading the dressing on her salad. She saw Buffy and the gang head over and smiled as they took a seat.
"Tonight. Do you want to grab a bite of dinner before the Bronze or do we want eat there?" Willow asked.
Cordelia started to laugh, "You were deep in thought over dinner?"
"Well, I think that's pretty important" Willow said.
"You two patrolling with me tonight?" Buffy asked, smiling at the girls. She had done serious thinking about this turn of events in her life. She would have to be honest and say that she had never imagined that Willow might be gay. She also could say that she knew if it wasn't Cordelia, Willow probably never would have imagined it herself. She was glad her friend was true enough to love someone for what they were on the inside, regardless of sex. She felt proud to know them both. She was also surprised by how easy everyone in school seemed to be taking it. There had been no nasty words or bad jokes. In fact, since Cordelia's change over the last few months, people seemed to be very supportive and understanding. She was glad for them both.
"Patrol is cool" Willow said. "You want to grab some dinner afterwards?"
"We can get burgers" Cordelia said. "I so hate the food at the Bronze. It's worse than this slop."
"Hey...I like this slop" Xander said, eating the cafeteria food as if it were a gourmet meal.
"We know you do honey" Amy said, patting his arm in condolence.
"Well, well...if it isn't the fallen princess and her geeky love. Must say, Cordy. If you were that desperate to be loved, I'm sure you could have found a dog." Harmony said, smiling sweetly.
"Really? I thought you were already using most of those for your enjoyment?" Cordelia said. "I do remember those stories about Muffy...."
Harmony's face paled as she sputtered, "You bitch. That was a secret!"
"Fuck off dog girl" Willow said, rolling her eyes. She had known Harmony and the little group she hung with would have something to say about her and Cordelia, but Delia had told her several secret stories about them all so they had ammunition to strike back.
"Whatever" Harmony said, turning and walking away.
Buffy started to laugh, "Oh my god...Harmony and Muffy?"
Cordelia smiled sweetly, "Gives new meaning to man's best friend, doesn't it?"
"I think I may be sick" Xander said, holding his stomach and groaning.
"Burgers after patrol" Willow said, laughing at Xander. She began to talk to the others about the homework assignment in english class. She smiled at Cordelia, proud that they had withstood Harmony and her naysaying. That was the worse fight they would have to face.
Buffy laughed as she sat down at the table. "I still can't believe that idiot staked himself!"
Cordelia smiled, "That was the funniest thing I've seen in awhile."
"It was great. I wish they could all be that stupid" Willow said, sitting down. "Hey Xan. Amy."
"What did we miss?" Xander asked.
"This moron fledge tried to run from me, tripped and impaled himself on a large stick. Poof and I didn't even work up a sweat" Buffy said, smiling.
"It was like something on America's Funniest Home videos" Willow agreed, sipping her soda. "What have we missed?"
Xander smiled widely, "Weeell, everyone keeps going up to Harmony and barking."
"Woof Woof" Amy said, laughing.
"Ah...poor wittle thing" Cordelia said snidely. "Bitch deserves it."
"There there honey. I think we managed to get her back for her comments" Willow said, her hand clasping Cordelia's.
"True. Our thing has already faded in the rumor mill. The doggie loving? That's here to stay" Cordelia said, relief in her voice. She and Willow had been out for two weeks. So far, Harmony had been the only one to say anything. Now, everyone in school knew about her and her dog. Cordelia smiled, mess with her Willow and you paid.
She was actually proud of her fellow students. They had accepted her and Willow as if it was nothing big. Her parents, when she had finally caught up to them, had just said that it would ease their minds since there was no chance of pregnancy and a much less case of diseases. She rolled her eyes. Trust her parents to not care. Willow's on the other hand had threatened to disown her if she didn't see the light and realize that it was wrong. After hearing that, Lily Chase had fixed up a guest room and invited Willow to move in. She had told the redhead that her parent's were assholes and should go fuck themselves. She had then smiled, kissed the girls on the cheek and gone to catch her flight to Rio.
"So, we still doing the sleepover at your place?" Buffy asked.
Willow nodded, "Yeah. Lily dropped in last night but she was headed out to catch up to Rick in Glasgow, wasn't it, Delia?"
"Yeah. They are planning on finishing his meetings then going on some cruise. We have the house to ourselves for at least a month."
"Must be nice" Buffy said. She saw Willow smile at Cordelia and was thankful that the Chases had taken her friend in. She couldn't believe how horrid Willow's parents had acted. Hell, they were hardly ever home anyway. What should they care about who their daughter loved as long as the person was decent and loved her back? She knew Willow hadn't spoken to them since she had moved out ten days before. She doubted Willow would ever speak to them. She knew for certain her friend would not make the first move. Fuck, Willow wouldn't make any move. She had cut off all ties by choosing her love for Cordelia over them.
"I want to dance" Willow said, standing up. "Coming?"
Cordelia nodded as she stood. "Watch my purse, ok Buffy?"
"Go dance Cordy." Buffy said, smiling as the two girls began to dance. Willow was happy. That made Buffy happy. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up into Angel's dark gaze. She smiled as he sat down. All of her friend's finally had someone to love. It made them stronger as a team, she realized. She let her gaze wander back to Cordy and Willow and then let it drift over Amy and Xander. She leaned back against Angel, a smile on her face. She was lucky to have such a great family of friends.