Hugs

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Story Notes:
11/9/14
While there are certain benefits to actually being alive, Severus is beginning to wish he hadn’t had the foresight to prepare an anti-toxin for the potential threat of Riddle turning on him. Surely death would at least be quiet and peaceful. In retrospect, he can identify the weak area of his plan for survival. The anti-toxin took far too long to counter the effects of the bite, so he was still lying there in a puddle of blood when Minerva came to fetch his body. He wishes she had just forgotten him so that he could have made his escape when he regained consciousness.

It’s just typical that he can’t even die in a way that improves things. His life has been miserable since he was born, and, no, he isn’t going to accept responsibility for making poor choices that affected him, thank you very much Albus. He’s had to watch Lily’s son grow up to become a hero and prove himself to be more her child than that wretched Potter’s, which is frustrating in itself. Now, he’s stuck having his private life headlining the Prophet with Skeeter’s byline because Merlin forbid Potter could keep his mouth shut for even an hour after seeing the memories Severus gave him. Now everyone and their mother believe themselves to be experts on his life when they don’t know anything.

If that isn’t bad enough, he’s being held captive by Poppy and Minerva while they get retribution for every horrible thing he’s done for the last twenty years. They have recruited Pomona and Filius to their cause, delighting in his suffering as they nag him, force him to adhere to foolish rules regarding bed rest and healthy eating, and generally spoil any enjoyment he could possibly muster at being alive. It’s almost a relief when Longbottom bravely tells him off for being a bully because that’s at least one person who has the bollocks to stand up to him.

However, none of that compares to the worst thing about being alive. No, he could endure the rest of it, potentially, if he weren’t forced to suffer through the hugs. Hagrid is always there, it seems, hugging him and patting him on the shoulder until the whole thing is bruised. There is weeping and constant affection that makes his skin crawl. Minerva finds it amusing, so she’s no assistance at all when he complains about the harassment, and Severus will guzzle down a beaker full of poison before he lowers himself to asking Potter to help.

Fortunately, his condition is improving steadily. He is making plans for what he can do once he’s in peak physical condition again. He’ll soon be able to make a break for freedom. Then he will no longer have to tolerate the bleeding hearts who think he’s someone for them to save or his colleagues’ interference in his life. He will be free of Hagrid’s emotional sharing and those bloody hugs, too. Perhaps he’ll invite Hagrid to visit him occasionally once he’s settled elsewhere, though, because he is growing somewhat accustomed to those hugs.

End