“I can’t do this, boys.”

“Why not?”

“You look to be in perfectly good working order, though I suppose we should do a hands-on test to make sure. Don't you think, Fred?”

“George! Stop that!”

“He’s just trying to make sure all your parts feel okay, Hermione.”

“Fred’s right. It’s a sacrifice, of course, but one I’m willing to make for you, sugar dumpling.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not some food item?”

“Oh, see here, Hermione. That’s a declaration that needs further investigation since George and I happen to find you delectable.”

“Sweet and absolutely sinful.”

“Fred! Get your hands off my---“

“What? We’re just trying to help!”

“It seems that most your parts are in working order, cupcake. Can’t tell if all of them are until I get you out of this lovely sundress.”

“You’re both so infuriating!” Hermione growled as she swatted their hands away from her legs and bum.

“Did you hear that, George? She’s insulting us when we’re doing our best to assist her.”

“Not only that, Fred, but she’s using those big words to try to confuse us.”

“Trying to assist me, my arse,” she muttered as she scowled at them and crossed her arms across her chest. “I’m trying to be serious here.”

“We know, but you’re so much happier when you’re not,” Fred said as he sat on the sofa and gave her a sheepish smile.

“We prefer the crooked little smile a lot more than this frown,” George added as he steered her to the sofa and sat on the other side of her.

“Now tell us what’s wrong.”

“And what it is you can’t do.”

“So we can remind you that you’re Hermione Granger.”

“And you can do anything you set your mind to.”

“Especially when we’re beside you.”

“Or beneath you.”

Hermione slapped George’s arm as he leered and wiggled his eyebrows, reluctantly smiling as she leaned her head against Fred’s shoulder and moved so that her legs on George’s lap. She frowned when she realized what a bad idea that was, since George had wandering hands while Fred was more likely to resist any urges until it was appropriate. George didn’t know the meaning of the word inappropriate. She switched and rested her head against George’s shoulder and Fred’s hand began to massage her feet lightly as he tugged her skirt down past her knees.

“Can’t be ‘serious’ if you’re flashing me tempting views of those pretty knickers.”

“At least you get something to play with.”

“Stop grumbling,” she scolded before she remembered why she was stressed. She sighed. “Can we just stay here forever?”

“We could if you’d let us have a House Elf who could deliver food and clean the flat.”

“But you said no to that idea even after our most persuasive efforts.”

“Which was actually pretty insulting, wasn’t it, George? I mean, there we were being very persuasive and you still managed to say no.”

“Right shame when your lovers rate lower than a House Elf.”

Hermione rolled her eyes when she heard their dramatic sighs, which were in perfect unison, and still managed to blush when George said ‘lovers’ out loud. Even after six months, she wasn’t used to hearing the word.

“Uh oh. She’s quiet.”

“That’s never good, Freddy-boy.”

“Well, it can be, but she’s still dressed so this isn’t one of those times.”

“You say that like I rarely wear clothes,” she muttered as she snuggled against George’s chest and ran her fingers over Fred’s arm. “It’s far more than just that between us.”

“You wear them too often. We both vote for a ‘no clothing allowed’ policy on the house. That means it’s two against one, strawberry shortcake.” Fred waggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner that had her fighting a laugh.

“That’s not fair.”

“Seems fair to me. Very fair, in fact. I think we need to figure out a charm to make clothing disappear as soon as she steps into the house, Fred.”

“You most certainly will not! Don’t even think about it, either of you,” she warned as she imagined coming home with Harry or Ron and having her clothes disappear. It would be just like Fred and George to come up with a lascivious charm that could have such irritating additional consequences.

“This must be serious, after all. She seems to have lost her sense of humor, George.”

“Perhaps it’s under the sofa?”

“Or in the wardrobe?”

“Or in the attic?”

“I suggest we look for it.”

“We can start with searching her as it may be hiding somewhere on her luscious person.”

“Luscious person?” she repeated with a snort. She sighed as she thought about just how much she loved this, how much she loved them, and worried about how everything could change now.

Fred’s smile faded as he exchanged a look with George before he caught her hand. He pulled it off his arm and held it as he entwined his fingers with hers. “What’s wrong, Hermione?”

George brushed her hair with his hand and frowned down at her. “What can’t you do?”

“Is it us?” Fred asked quietly as he tightened his grip on her hand.

“We know it’s unusual.”

“And you probably wish you’d fallen for someone normal.”

“Instead of finding yourself in this complicated relationship.”

“With two brothers who know how to share.”

“And who love you and think you’re amazing.”

“And who totally worship you and would do anything you ask.”

“Within reason, of course, as we don’t want you to think you have too much power over us.”

“Even if you really do,” Fred added with a sheepish smile.

“But, if you’ve changed your mind, well---“

She looked from one to the other and blinked as she realized what they must think. “No,” she interrupted quickly before George had to put such thoughts into words. “It’s not us. I love us. I mean, sure it’s different and definitely unorthodox, but I’ve never been one to really care about things like that. I haven’t changed my mind.”

“Oh, thank God,” they said in unison before they seemed to visibly relax.

“Then what is it?”

“We’re smart but we’ve never been into Divination.”

“Except with each other occasionally.”

“But that’s the twin bond more than that shite Trelawney always tried to teach.”

“So don’t make us try to read your mind.”

“Since we’re pants at it unless you are naked, which is more a case of distracting you so you’re no longer sure what it is you were thinking anyway.”

“George, don’t tell her all our secrets!”

“That wasn’t a secret. I figured out that strategy ages ago,” she pointed out with a smile.

“Well, we’ve earned a smile. That’s an improvement.”

“But it’s only a half-smile so we should try harder for a full one.”

“You know, we don’t have to go tonight,” Fred said softly.

“We’re happy sending an owl with some silly excuse and just staying here, even if you aren’t naked.”

“I think we need to go,” she told them honestly. “I just don’t really want to.”

“There’s no rule that says we have to share our personal lives with anyone.”

“We can just keep things as they have been, if you’d rather.”

“If it makes you happier to keep us private, we’re okay with that.”

“We do realize that our situation isn’t normal, after all.”

Hermione shook her head. “Who wants normal anyway?” she asked as she reached up to caress George’s jaw and smiled at Fred. “Besides, there is more than just my happiness to consider. Both of you are tired of hiding how we feel about each other and so am I. I’m not ashamed of us or I wouldn’t be here. If people don’t approve or at least accept our choices, they really can just bugger off.”

“That’s easy to say if they’re strangers, but not so easy when it might be family.”

“We do understand that, Hermione. We don’t want you to feel pressured to come out with how things really are just because we want to be able to touch you in public or do couple-y type things.”

“Is it still a couple if there are three of us? Wouldn’t it be trio-y type things?”

“Shut up, Fred.”

“Make me, George.”

“Make me make you.”

“No, make me make you make me.” Fred suddenly laughed. “I think we’re all a little stressed about tonight.”

“Nah, you’re always a bit stupid. It’s why I’m the smart and good-looking one.”

“You’re both smart and good-looking,” Hermione said before they could start bickering. As amusing as she normally found it, she knew she’d have to play peacemaker if it went too far, which would most certainly mean nakedness and being late for Sunday dinner at the Burrow. “Do you really think tonight will be okay?”

“Well, Mum will probably be speechless, which isn’t a bad thing at all, but I figure she’ll recover soon and start thinking of the possibilities of marriage and grandbabies in no time.”

“Ron and Harry have already figured it out. They’re just waiting for you to tell them. They’re not as dim and unobservant as people might think.”

“They know?” She blushed as she thought back over the last eight months, since she’d basically started dating Fred and George as a pair. Harry and Ron hadn’t known for long, she was pretty sure, though it probably hadn’t been too difficult to tell once their relationship became sexual and she practically moved in with them. Harry and Ron’s odd remarks a couple of months ago about unconventional relationships suddenly made much more sense. “They do know, don’t they?”

“Yeah, they know. They’ve not said anything direct to us, but Ron threatened us in his very unsubtle way and Harry reinforced the warning with a scary ‘I could keeeel you with a snap of my fingers if you hurt my bestest friend’ look.”

“It was rather scary, actually. I think Bill has figured it out, too, which means Fleur probably knows. I don’t really think anyone else has paid enough attention or cares enough to notice.”

“So you’ll have at least four people, if not more, that know and could care less. Mum will be fine, even if it takes her a little time, and Dad won’t care so long as we give him that bag of plugs to distract him.”

“Dad is so very easy to distract. ‘Look, Dad. Muggle bobbles. By the way, Fred and I are both in love with Hermione and share her. Ooh shiny!’ Mum won’t be so easy, but, in the end, she wants us happy. You make us happy. Besides, I think she’s used to us rarely doing things like anyone else. Why should love be any different?”

Hermione sat up and kissed George then Fred. “You’re both right. It’s time to stop pretending and just acknowledge how things really are between us,” she decided before she stood and stretched.

“You sure we can’t just owl them and stay here? I’m thinking we do need a very thorough search for that missing sense of humor.”

“Not to mention proving that every bit of you is in perfect working order,” George added before he and Fred gave her their best begging ‘please can we shag now?’ faces.

“Later,” she promised as she smiled and held out her hands for them. “Right now, we have a family dinner to attend.”

“Exactly how much later?” Fred asked as he got to his feet and took her hand.

“And you both say that I’m the insatiable one?” George shook his head and snorted. “He’s much worse. He just hides it beneath that deceptively innocent sensitivity that I somehow missed inheriting.”

“You’re sensitive,” Fred argued. “You just hide it well and I don’t bother.”

“Need I mention who cried at Bill’s wedding? Or who cried the first time the three of us made love? Or who---“

“Shut up, George.”

“Make me.”

“Make me make you.”

“Boys,” Hermione said sharply. She grinned when they both looked at her and smiled sheepishly. “We don’t want to be late.”

“Right you are, pet.”

“If we’re late, you might feel a need to punish us when we get home.”

“We wouldn’t what that at all.”

“Of course we don’t,” George agreed as he and Fred exchanged an absolutely wicked look.

“The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave,” she reminded them as she started to take a step away from them and their ‘Oh, we’re not planning something naughty. Really, we’re not’ looks.

“Of course, that only appeals if we have a desire to leave early.”

“And right now, our desire to arrive late far outweighs anything else.”

“Well, it’s actually our desire for you but arriving late is an added bonus.”

“Bonuses are good,” they both said before they pounced.

Hermione laughed as she darted out of their way and began to run from them. It was useless, of course. She hadn’t gone a dozen steps before strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back against a hard chest. She looked up to see George grinning down at her. When Fred joined them, she decided that being late might not be such a bad idea, after all. She sighed happily as she was caught between them, where she belonged.

End